My son's 18th birthday was nearing. I had struggled with how to celebrate this occasion. Our lives were unique. Ben's father died when Ben was 8 months old. I was a widow at 23 years old and we were victims of a violent crime. We had struggled with the emotions of the incident throughout the 18 years.
Ben and I were blessed. We had found love, emotionally, physically, and most importantly, spiritually throughout the time span. Our families had enveloped us in love and protection. I met a wonderful man, and he and his two children accepted us, loved us, and provided a stability for us that I thought we might never find. Our lifelong friends sheltered and supported both of us. There were ministers, teachers, coaches, youth leaders and acquaintances along the way that guided us and loved us and became a vital part of our family.
As I sat in church one Sunday, I found myself praying for a way to thank all these people that had surrounded us over the years. A peace came over me, one I'm not sure I had ever felt before and maybe not even after. As we left church that morning, I told my husband that I knew how to celebrate Ben's birthday. I was on a mission. I consulted my minister and family.
On November 10, 1996, A Circle of Love, A Celebration of Life took place. My Dad was enlisted to take Ben out for lunch, a new outfit, and to bring him to church. Ben had no idea. As the time approached, I watched as the church began to fill. My heart was filled beyond cappacity. I watched as Ben's biological family, his adoptive family, his ministers, youth leaders and friends, coaches, teachers, lifelong friends, and neighbors entered and found seats in the pews.
All looked a bit confused. You see, the invitation stated, "A Celebration of Life, A Circle of Love". No one understood. I watched my Dad and my son, a tall, handsome young man, enter the church. As he became aware of all the people that had touched his life surrounding him, the music began.
As my husband and I took turns speaking, I stared at the first 5 rows. There, together, sat my parents, Ben's biological grandparents, my husband's parents, aunts, uncles and cousins from all sides, I felt a love like no other. God directed me to show my son, his gift, LOVE. There were no family blood lines. Our family was constructed of love.
As the service ended, our 11 year old daughter led a prayer of thanks for all those known and unknown that were instrumental in our family's development. After the service, cake and ice cream were served in the fellowship hall. I felt a peace that can not be explained. I truly realized a answer to a prayer and I was lucky enough to have heard.
I got to share my thanks with the "village" that nurtured and supported my son and myself. I got to publicly thank God for endless strength and courage. It is not easy to merge a blended family. I am truly blessed that our family goes beyond biological lines. Our family transcended all known boundaries.
I didn't realize how special this service was to become. As I thanked God for all our family members being present for this occasion that day, I realized how blessed I was. This was bittersweet as a few months later, I lost my Dad. God had led me to this time. I had planned on doing this for Ben's graduation. It would have been too late. I thank God for making me listen. I have found that even as God speaks quietly to us, it is up to us to listen. I have been so blessed. ...Kathy Jones Beltz
