"But mommy, do we have to move to Tulsa?" the 5'4, Blonde haired, blue eyed, 100 lb, 14 year old, basically PERFECT teenage girl Juliet protested.
"Yes honey, we have to because of my job" her doting mother Rachel said, helping her daughter pack yet another Calvin Klein t-shirt and 9 pairs of her $150 Tommy Hilfiger pants.
"Oh yay! Maybe I will see Hanson there!!!! Taylor is so fine!!!!" she pushed a lock of her hair away from her blemish free skin.
"Well we fly out tomorrow. I'll see you in the morning sweetie" Rachel kissed her daughter's forehead and exited the room.

* * *

"Wow, is this our new house?" Juliet asked as the BMW pulled up at 3046 West 78th Street.
"Yep!!!!"
Juliet immediately ran straight to her new bedroom. She looked through her window and saw Zachary Hanson!!!!

* * In the Hanson Home * *

"We have new neighbors!!!" Zac screamed, running around the room.
"I hope they have a hot teenage daughter with blonde hair and blue eyes, who is 5'4 and weighs 100 pounds. Maybe I could have screw her also. Zac, can you calm down?" Ike said. By this time Zac was jumping up and down while headbanging.
"I can't!!! I'm supposed to be hyper all the time!!!"
"Well go play with legos or something..."

* * Back with Juliet and Rachel * *

Rachel ran the doorbell of their neighbors. A woman with long blonde hair answered the door.
"Hi, I'm Mrs. Hanson! May I help you?"
"I'm your new English Tutor!!!"
"Of course, come this way, would you like something to eat Juliet?” Mrs. Hanson offered, balancing Mackenzie on her hip and handing him a pacifier, even though he was 6 years old.
“No thanks. I’m anorexic. I can’t eat” Juliet perkily replied.
Diana led them to the living room where the 3 boys sat watching Animaniacs.
"Guys, this is Juliet. Juliet, this is Isaac, Taylor and Zac"
Taylor appraised her. "You’re hot. Wanna go out with me?"
Juliet jumped at the chance to go out with her dream man "Sure!!!"
She walked over towards him and the pair immediately started to make out. Isaac stood up and stormed out, while the 2 oblivious adults chatted away about starting to study 'Romeo and Juliet'.
"Erin, what's wrong with Ike?"
Zac, you're not supposed to talk to the author
"Okay, but why?"
Because Isaac likes Juliet also.
"Why?"
Cause that's the way it goes! You're not allowed to talk to me so shut up!
"Okay, sorry"
Zac!
"Oops, sorry!"
ZAC!!!! Anyways, back in hansonland…

“Hey Juliet” Ike said.
“Hey Ike” Juliet said.
“So you’re going out with Taylor?” Ike said.
“Yeah” Juliet said.
Before anyone could stop anything Ike pulled Juliet over towards him and started frenching her. Right on cue walked in Taylor.
“Have you guys seen my journ -- Ike?”
“Hi Tay”
“Oh hi. So anyways….”

* * * * * * * *

“Well Juliet, you have cancer” the doctor said.
“Cancer?”
“Yes. You will die in approximately 23 hours and 7 minutes”
“Oh my gosh. I’d better call Taylor!!!” Juliet exclaimed, running like a perfectly healthy person over towards the telephone.
“Taylor?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s me.”
“Oh, hi Jenna.”
“Juliet.”
“Whatever.”
“Anyways, I’m going to die soon!!!! I have cancer!!!!”
“I’d better come over soon then!!! I want to make out with you before you die!!!!”
“Oh, Taylor I want to make out with you too!!!!!”
A few seconds later Taylor magically appeared at the door.
“Ike couldn’t come. He’s, um, busy. Yeah.”
“The Doctor was wrong,” Juliet said, just a pale, white, 82 pound figure on the bed; even though she was healthy a few seconds ago.
“What?”
“I’m going to die in,” Juliet checked her gucci watch, “2 minutes.”
“Oh crap, we’d better hurry!!!!!”
Taylor and Juliet kissed for a total of 1 minute and 50 seconds.
“Taylor, you sure are a great kisser” Juliet called faintly and her breath escaped her lips for the last time as she died.
“Oh Jessica I’m going to die without you,” Taylor sobbed as the rest of his family magically appeared inside the doorway.

* * * * * * * *

“And here, to speak a few words is Taylor Hanson,” the preacher announced. Taylor stood up and walked to the podium, which wasn’t an easy task considering he was wearing tight leather pants.
“Um, I had only known Jennifer -- I mean, Juliet, for about an hour, but she means the world to me,” Taylor broke down in tears, “and she was the best kisser I had ever known,” he continued, crying.
“Shhh Taylor, my perfect Taylor, it’s okay,” Mrs. Hanson said, hugging her son.
“I mean, not even Lara -- I mean Liz, no, oh whatever her name was, she wasn’t that good. Why do all my girlfriends have to die?”
Ike jumped up in a blind rage and ran into the nearest river, drowning himself in his grief. However, nobody seemed to care since Taylor was in such obvious distress. Zac was too busy trying to scale the walls, unoblivious to the going ons.
“We’ll find you another good kisser, see, what about her?” Mrs. Hanson pointed to the minister’s daughter.
“Why don’t you go say hello?”
Taylor perked up at the sight of another 5’4, 100 pound girl, except this time she had red hair.
“Hey, my name’s Taylor.”
“I’m Susan.”
“Well hey, Sarah. Say, you wouldn’t happen to be going out with anyone, would you? Cause I was wondering.…”
The End