What to do when a friend comes out to you?
* Don't Laugh -- take it seriously, don't act like it's no big deal -- it is!
* Be honest with them -- express your feelings and reactions, but respect the individual.
* Remember that he/she chose you! They trusted you enough to tell you. This took a lot of courage on their part. Return the favor and keep it CONFIDENTIAL. Realize that it was problably just as hard for them to tell you as it will be for you to understand.
*Don't be afraid to ask questions -- try to learn from them. It will help you to understand. The only stupid question is the one you don't ask. BUT, respect them enough to realize that some questions might be too personal for them to answer and don't assume that there is a straight forward answer for every question you might have.
*Let the individual talk. They may have kept this inside for a long time. Be respectful if they don't want to talk about all aspects of it at once.
* Do NOT say "Are you sure?" When people come out to you, it most likely means they have gone over this question thousands of times in their own mind, and ARE sure!
* Do as much as you feel is confortable with you yourself. Don't pretend to be someone you are not! Don't promise that your friendship won't change until you have had time to think about your feelings of homosexuality.
* Don't assume things or believe in stereotypes: GLBTs were sexually abused as children, are attracted to you, the males are sissies who like to dress like women, women act like men, or that they hate the opposite sex.
* Ask them if there is anything you can do for them -- make him/her confortable. Always remember to be confortable with what you offer.
* Everyone has a different background and upbringing. Don't spout off Bible verses at them. You may believe that homosexuality is wrong according to your beliefs, but all religions see issues differently.
* Realize that there are resources out there to help you and your friend. Look in the Yellow Pages or call Information asking about the nearest P-FLAG(Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays).
* Most importantly, remain true to yourself. Do not put down the person who has come out to you. They may be struggling with this issue and don't need the stress. Instead, educate yourself and make the decision whether or not you can still remain friends with the person.
****Compiled by Clarion University of Pennsylvania ALLIES students, including myself****
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