Chapter Eight

Sidney walked around the yard smiling at all of the children. It was nice to see all of the plans she had made for the birthday party finally come together. The triplets had come around to liking her at last, especially since she had defended them in front of their father. The guilt they felt had softened them up to her. Angel was squealing with delight as she ran away from Jimmy McCloud, Lou and Kid's youngest son. Their other son, Noah was with the triplets and the rest of their school friends. Sid couldn't believe she had been here for a little over a month, and everything was wonderful, well except for the fact that she had never gotten a chance to speak to Buck about Millicent, and it seemed he was now seeing her regularly.

Sidney stood in a corner watching the festivities and wondering where Buck was. The first of the guests had arrived about an hour ago, and since then a steady stream of people were coming into the house. The last ones were Kid, Lou and their two boys. Sidney was pleased to meet the couple who had known Buck and the children for so long. When Sid looked around she saw the couple headed in her direction along with Teaspoon and Rachel.

"Now what is a pretty filly like you doin' standin' in the corner?" Teaspoon asked with a wink.

Sidney smiled, "Just watching the children. Is everything alright? Have you all eaten?" She asked as she went into hostess mode.

Lou laughed, "If Kid eats anymore of Mrs. Collins' cooking, he won't be able to fit into his pants."

Kid furrowed his brow, "I thought you said you liked me with a little more meat."

"The key word there sweetheart is little."

The adults laughed quietly as Mrs. Collins joined them. "Where's Buck?" She asked Sidney.

Sidney shrugged, "I have no idea. I haven't seen him since breakfast. I assumed he went to pick up Miss Pennypacker."

"Millicent Pennypacker is coming here?" Lou asked.

Rachel nodded. "Yep, she and Buck have been seeing a lot of each other. He thought he should invite her so she wouldn't feel excluded, he wants the children to get to know her."

"So it's serious then?"

"You know Buck, he won't talk about it, but I'm thinking it must be." Rachel answered.

Mrs. Collins glanced at Sidney to gauge her expression. The young girl was wearing a barely concealed scowl. The same one she got every time she heard the name Millicent. As the housekeeper looked around the yard, she saw the preacher's daughter come out of the house, alone.

"Well speak of the devil." Literally, Sid thought.

The group turned to look at Millicent who was dressed in a baby blue taffeta dress that was fitted to her curves. And a brand new hat. Sidney's stomach turned as she remembered the conversation she had overheard in the general store. Well it looks like she got Buck to buy her the hat, she thought, but where is the gullible fool?

Millicent saw the small group of adults and smiled her sweetest smile. "Hello, everyone." She said happily, then noticed Sidney standing there. Her smile faltered slightly as she nodded to the nanny. "Miss Bennet, would you please be so kind as to tell Mr. Cross that I've arrived."

"He's not with you?" Teaspoon asked before Sidney could.

The blonde woman shook her head, "No I drove myself, Buck told me he had some things to do here."

Buck looked at himself in the mirror on the vanity that he had bought for Sarah on their second anniversary. It had been four years since he had slept in this room, four years since he stopped caring about himself. Now here he was, sleeping in his old bed, a totally different person than he had been these last four years and he felt good. He could hear the laughter coming from downstairs, and he knew that he should be going down there because everyone would be worried about him. Buck wanted this day to be special, for him, the kids, and he suddenly realized he had wanted to make sure it was special for Sidney.

As he smoothed his shirt over his work hardened torso Buck wondered exactly why he had done what he'd done this morning. The image of Sidney coming out of the creek flashed in his mind. Shaking his head to clear it, he told himself he didn't do it for the silly English woman, he had done it because he was finally feeling like his old self and he thought it was time for a change. Taking one last look in the mirror, Buck left the room and headed down to the party.

"Jumping Jehosephat! Would you look at that!" Mrs. Collins exclamation had the small group of adults turning to see who was coming out of the house. She looked around for Sidney, to see the nanny's expression but Sidney was busy with Angel and little Jimmy.

"I don't believe it." Lou said breathlessly. Millicent almost dropped the small glass of punch she held.

Sidney was pulled towards the group of adults by her skirt, "Ask Siddy, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? Ask Jimmy's mama if he can sleep over, pleeeeeeeeeeease?"

Sidney nodded, "Okay okay. I'll ask." Sidney felt bad for Angel, this was a special day for the triplets and the little girl was feeling left out. If having her little friend stay over made her feel better, then asking Lou if he could stay was the least she could do. Jimmy had sensed Angel's sadness and immediately singled her out to play with, making her feel special.

Sidney was about to tap Lou on her shoulder when she saw a strange man standing in the midst of the group. Her mouth dropped open, it was Buck. A clean shaven, hair trimmed Buck, an incredibly handsome looking Buck, who even from the distance of where Sidney stood, smelled like soap and aftershave.

Sidney's stomach had done flip flops and her heart began to race, never had she experienced this kind of reaction to a man, any man.

"Siiiiiiiidddddyyyy, aaaaaasssssssk." A little voice said.

The group turned around and Buck looked up to see a very flustered Sidney standing there.

"Sidney are you alright, you looked flushed, are you feverish?" Rachel asked, the concern evident in her voice.

Sidney shook her head slowly, "Uh…no…"

"Is there something you wanted Miss Bennet?" Millicent asked as she hooked her arm through Buck's.

Sidney looked at the couple and felt her heart drop. What am I thinking, this man is my employer. She yelled at herself. "Yes as a matter of fact I was going to ask if Noah and Jimmy could spend the night here, that is if it was okay with you Buck." She said shyly.

"Daddy? Where's my daddy?" Angel asked as she pushed her way through the adults.

Buck bent down to his daughter, and turned his smooth face left to right for her.

"What do you think pumpkin?"

Angel stared at him for a moment before touching his smooth cheek. "You're not my daddy…you're handsome."

Buck grabbed the little girl and tickled her, making her squeal in delight. When he put her down he looked up at Sidney with a wide smile, "It's fine with me, after all you're the nanny, you'd be the one watching them really."

Sidney wondered silently if his smile had always brightened up his face. Stop it, she warned herself, you're nothing but the nanny to him. After Lou and Kid agreed to letting the boys stay, Sidney took Angel's hand and turned to go back to the party.

"Isn't my daddy handsome Siddy?" Angel asked loudly. The group of adults all stood quietly, listening for Sidney's response. After blushing prettily she turned and without a word walked with the little girl to the corral for a pony ride. "Siddy, don't you think my daddy is handsome?" Angel asked impatiently.

"Yes Sweetie, he is." She whispered as she put the youngest of his children on the pony.

About an hour later, Buck stood with his friends talking about how the children were doing in school, and although he was actively participating in the conversation, he found himself searching the grounds for Sidney. He smiled as he saw her spinning Miguel as he took his turn with the Pinata Manuel had made for the children.

"Is this a private conversation or can anyone join in?" A voice from the past asked.

Buck turned to see Jimmy coming towards them. Rachel and Lou hugged him tightly. "What are you doing here?" Buck asked.

Jimmy smiled crookedly at his friend, "I'm here for a birthday party. I got a letter from a Sidney Bennet asking me to come." Jimmy glanced at the young woman clinging to Buck's arm, "You must be Sidney-"

Millicent practically growled, "I certainly am not. Sidney is the nanny."

Rachel bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Sidney is the young woman playing with the children." She explained as she pointed to the tree where another young boy was swinging at the Pinata.

"Ooooh, sorry." He said dismissively to Millicent. "Well look at you," He said, his attention back to Buck. "You're looking like one of the livin' again."

"Was it that bad?"

"Yes!" Everyone answered in unison and laughed.

Buck looked around for Sidney, it was time to cut the cake and he wanted her to be front and center with those people who had close relationships with the triplets, he felt she had earned that honor. Jimmy walked past him and Buck grabbed his arm.

"Have you seen Sidney?" He knew if anyone knew where she was, Jimmy would. Ever since his friend had left the group to introduce himself to Sidney and thank her for writing him, Jimmy and the nanny had been inseparable. It seemed every time Buck had looked up, the two of them were together.

"Yeah I was just going to give her some punch." Jimmy said as he held up a cup and pointed to a tree in the distance. Sitting there was Sidney with a sleeping Angel in her arms. The tender scene pulled at Buck's heart. Jimmy's voice broke the spell, "Do you want me to tell her somethin'?"

Buck nodded, "We're gettin' ready to cut the cake."

"We'll be right there." Jimmy said, then turned towards the tree.

Moments later a groggy Angel walked between Jimmy and Sidney towards the tables set up with cake and presents, her hands in each of theirs.

"Well ain't that a sight." Teaspoon said loudly.

Everyone turned around to see the three walking towards them. "Looking mighty fatherly Jimmy." Kid said with a wink.

"I should be so lucky." Jimmy answered. Buck rolled his eyes as Sidney blushed. The children and few adults gathered around the table as Star, Miguel and Ike took their places, their father on their right and Angel on their left. Sidney was looking for a place to stand when Millicent grabbed her shoulder, stopping her from standing too close to the family.

"Buck wanted me to tell you not to stand too close to the family." She whispered into Sidney's ear. "You're just the help, practically a stranger."

Buck looked at the two young women talking and saw Sidney walk off to the far side of the table where she stood alone. When Millicent walked up to Buck and stood beside him he leaned over to whisper in her ear. "What happened? Did you tell her I wanted her to stand here with us?"

Millicent looked at him sweetly, "I did, but she said she didn't think it was proper for her to be standing with all of you. She said, she's just the help."

Buck looked over at Sidney who was now talking quietly with Jimmy. Damn her and her sense of protocol.

Sidney glanced around at the mess of the day. The triplets were standing with Noah and his younger brother. If I didn't know any better, I'd think they were plotting something. Sidney thought. Everyone had left with the exception of Millicent and Jimmy. Sidney looked at the man who was helping her to clean up, silently thanking the fates that had brought him here. He kept her company the entire day, after Millicent had arrived and taken over hostess duties. Sid had felt as if she were intruding, James Hickok made her feel welcomed again.

As Sidney gathered up the extra food, she thought back to what Millicent had told her Buck had said. Could it be that he resented her so much he didn't want her to be there that day? Was it only because she had planned the party that she was allowed to stay? What was it that he had said earlier? …It's fine with me, after all you're the nanny… That's right, just the help she said to herself, just the help. When Sidney came out of her reverie, she saw Jimmy staring at her with a crooked grin.

"Welcome back. Was it a nice trip?"

"What?"

"You looked like you were somewhere else."

Sidney laughed, "Yes I suppose I was."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Halloween." She lied. "It's only two weeks away and Angel has the lot of us dressing up to go trick or treating."

Jimmy laughed, "I'd love to see that."

"We're going to drop by Rachel's so maybe you'll see us there." She looked around, "Where are Star and the others?"

Jimmy pointed a few feet away. "They're over there talking to that Millicent woman. What does Buck see in her?"

She's beautiful and most definitely not the help. She thought. Sidney shrugged and turned to call the children back into the house when a high pitch scream reverberated through the air followed by a splash. Jimmy and Sidney ran up to the children in time to see a drenched and sputtering Millicent struggling to get out if the horse trough. Sidney struggled to hold in the laugh that threatened to escape, as Jimmy helped Millicent out of the water. Seconds later Buck came running out of the house, Millicent's wrap in his hands.

"What happened?" He asked Sidney.

"It's no use asking her, she was too busy with your friend here and she wasn't minding the children." Millicent answered. "They scared me half to death. I'm leaving, Buck will I see you tomorrow for dinner?"

Buck nodded. Millicent placed a chaste kiss to his cheek and stormed towards the stable leaving everyone behind.

Sidney looked at the children wondering how they did it.

"Ribbit." The sound echoed in the silence. Of course, she thought.

Buck looked at the kids, "Go inside, and take the frog with you." After the kids went into the house he turned his attention to Jimmy and Sidney, "Is what she said true? What were you two doing that you aren't watching my kids?"

"I took my eyes off of them for one second." Sidney explained.

"Dammit Sidney! You know how they are!" Buck said as he flailed an arm. Sidney flinched and took a step back, colliding into Jimmy.

As Jimmy steadied her, Sidney took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Mr. Cross. You're absolutely right, Mr. Cross, I've become too lenient with them, Mr. Cross." She meant it sarcastically but couldn't help the sadness that crept into her voice. I guess I'll never do anything right enough for him, she thought, and that knowledge cut at her like a knife.

"Sidney-" Buck began, and up went her finger, cutting him off.

"I'll go and prepare Angel for bed, I'll then gather the older ones and put them in your study. I assume you'd like to reprimand them." Turning stiffly to Jimmy she curtsied, "It was a pleasure meeting you Jimmy, I hope you'll visit again."

Turning back to Buck she did the same, "Goodnight sir."

Mechanically, Sidney walked back to the house, You're just the help, practically a stranger…You're just the help, practically a stranger… Millicent's words echoing in her mind.

"What the hell was that about?" Jimmy asked heatedly.

"Jimmy lay off, this is about my family."

"Why'd she flinch Buck? Have you ever hit her?"

"Hell no Jimmy, you know me better than that."

"I used to think I did." Hickok said quietly. "You had no cause to ask us what's going on, it ain't your business."

"It is when it affects my children."

"No one got hurt, not even that stuck up blonde peacock you fancy."

"Leave her out of this. What I have or don't have with Millicent ain't your business."

Remembering what Sidney had told him about Millicent and her ideas for the kids if she happens to get married to Buck. "Not even if it affects your kids?"

Buck arched an eyebrow, and Jimmy continued. "Ask yourself one thing, how well do you know your kids Buck? Better than Sidney?" Jimmy turned and went to the stables. Leaving a stunned Buck watching him leave.

Buck went into the house and headed for the study, stopping beside the doorway when he heard voices.

"We're sorry if we got you and Uncle Jimmy in trouble with dad Sidney." Star said. "We didn't mean to." Buck realized he had never heard his daughter apologize for anything, ever.

"I know you are." Sidney answered softly. "But you do understand what you did was wrong, and you could have hurt Miss Pennypacker. Now your father will be in here any moment to punish you and I expect no complaints."

Star shrugged, "I don't care, I hope dad punishes us a lot."

Sidney frowned, "Why?"

"Because then we'll get to see him. He's always with her, he never spends time with us." Star looked up as Buck entered the room. Sidney turned to walk out and curtsied before she left, "They're all yours." She whispered.

"Don't leave yet." He said. Buck looked at the five children sitting in his parlor.

"If you promise never to do it again, I won't punish you." The four boys promised immediately and all eyes turned to Star, who gazed at her father defiantly. "Star? Do you promise?"

"No."

Buck sighed loudly, "Alright, then for your punishment you have to help Mrs. Collins cook supper everyday after school next week and help clean up after."

Star laughed out loud, "Yes sir."

Buck excused the children and turned to Sidney. "Why'd she laugh when I punished her."

"Because it wasn't a punishment. Star has been doing that and more all on her own." Sidney smiled sarcastically as she turned and left the room.

"Sidney wait." Buck called out. As Sidney turned around, he motioned to a chair, "Sit down, please. We need to talk."

"My private life, like yours is none of your concern." She said so harshly it made Buck flinch.

"You're right. But I hope in time you'll tell me about where you come from and what you did before now. I think the kids know more about you than I do. And I think you know more about them than I do too." Buck looked up at her pleadingly. "Tell me about my kids."

"There are some things that you can only learn from spending time with them. If you want to know your children I suggest that's what you do. You've cut them out of your life after their mother died, and I can understand that, but now it's time to make them part of your life again. Don't wait until Angel is old enough to say 'My childhood was great, I had a loving nanny, but my father never really got over the death of my mother'." Sidney softened her voice when she saw Buck's stricken expression.

"I can tell you that Ike wants to be a doctor, Miguel, a great warrior like his uncle. Star wants to take over the ranch, and Angel wants to be a princess." Buck laughed, and Sidney went on, "And they're all afraid to ask you about their mother." Sidney sighed loudly. "I'm going to bed now, tomorrow is a new day."

"Sidney."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry if I frighten you." Buck's voice was soft, almost tender, and it sent chills up her spine.

"I'm not frightened of you." She answered, then walked out closing the door softly behind her.

To be continued...

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