Mind Fuck

But still...he's angry at you, furious at you, and he takes you by the hand and he leads you to the couch and he sits down and points to the floor for you to sit, right at his feet, on the floor.

And you do, you kneel down, sighing like a petulant child and you pout and you keep your body still and look to the floor so he can't see the rising angry rebellion in your gaze and you bite your lip and he begins to speak to you.

His words shock you and make you gasp...he appologizes to you...for failing you and you scream out "no no" in your mind but you are aghast and don't know what to say so you don't move and shakes your head at it.

His voice is deep and soothing, flowing over your skin like silk, sliding along your nerve endings like a hand through your hair, and he says, "If I were stronger I would have been able to lead you the right way....it's obviously my failing as I know you would not do this to me on purpose."

Your eyes fall, and you frown wondering what the hell he's talking about, all your anger suddenly cold, your shoulders drooping, your back arching forward a bit as you think.

"Oh pet", he sighs and strokes your head. I wish I had done better by you, wish I had not taken this from you, this chance to be so much more. And you shake your head, understanding the words but the idea just blowing you away, and he sighs, ceasing all touch and shakes his head. "I have taught you the way to do things and even the small things like this...but it didn't happen this time...I have obviously failed....or have you?"

He looks at you and you hold so still and a shivering breath fills your lungs....HE has not done anything, you KNOW you have failed him, you know you have not done his wishes and you know it's your fault but still, you can't speak.....and he sighs, "Have I caused you so much hardship that you now hate me? That you would consciously rebuke my instructions?"

"What have I done to you that would cause you to so go against one who loved you so much as to lead you anywhere he could?"

And still you can't move, you are now shaking , tears in your eyes as you finally see just what you have done to fail him and you bite your lip and still he talks, still taking the blame on himself, still showing you what a true failure is by your lack of honesty in this one small task.

And suddenly you realize that you have not failed him. What you did was ask for him to lead, love, and take you and then ignore everything he offered to you and you see that you have carved into him a nich that you should never have touched and you look up to him finally, tears down your cheeks, streaming off your jaw, your eyes shining brightly and you see him.....smiling the son of a bitch.