Looking For A Dream

The True Story Of An Internet Relationship

My name is Liz and I've created this web page to tell a story. A true story about how I met my soul mate on the Internet. I know, I know.... we've all heard about the horror stories concerning Internet relationships, but despite the reality of them, I believe that they are more the exception than the rule. These days, with a fifty per cent divorce rate, there are a lot of lonely people out there looking for someone who they can trust and share life with. I had been alone for nine years, a single parent, doing the best I could to survive. I was doing alright on my own, but I was very lonely. Most of the men that I met where I lived just wasn't worth the effort. And the few good men that were around were already married. It was beginning to look hopeless and the vision of spending the rest of my life alone was a dim one. I hit the chatrooms last June (97). It never occurred to me that I would meet the man of my dreams in this forum. This is our story.

One day last August, I was in the Virtural Places chatrooms when I happened upon a chatroom about personals ads. It was a Friday evening and I had nothing better to do so I started looking at the male ads. Most of the ads were either boring or far too agressive. By the time I got to ad number 83 I was about to change rooms, but this ad really caught my eye. It was titled "Looking For a Dream." I will never forget what the ad said: "I am fifty years old. I'm looking for a sensitive caring lady who has similiar interests in photography, music, and reading." The eleven year difference in our ages (I was fast approaching forty) was a plus since I have two older brothers around that age and I felt that I was in tune with the middle aged man persona. I always prefered older men because they seem to be more settled and stable. The part about a "sensitive caring lady" rang my desire for a sensitive caring man chimes. And the "photography, music, and reading" was made to order. Well, that was Friday evening, I didn't answer the ad right then, but I wrote down the email address thinking that I might decide to answer the ad. On Sunday afternoon I wrote a brief introductory message and sent it on its way. Little did I realize that my life was going to change later on.

Part of my objective here is not only to tell this story, but also to inject some personal philosophy. I believe that we have to be open to experience and not be afraid to look for, and reach out for, happiness.... in whatever form we may be looking for. Many people that I've met in my life seem to be afraid of their own shadows and unwilling to trust anyone outside a narrow band of existence. This does not coincide with my way of thinking for I relish the idea of learning on a continual basis.... no matter where the learning takes me. Meeting people is a learning experience. You learn about them, and if you're lucky, you may learn something about yourself as well. I readily admit that there is plenty of room for deception on the Internet because you can't see the person you're communicating with. However, if the heart and soul is open and honest, deception is easily cleared away with insightfulness.

Within a few hours of sending my introduction, I recieved a reply. His name was Ron and he lived in Canada. At the time, I was living in Sylva, North Carolina. We sent a couple of emails back and forth to each other.... sort of a preliminary get to know one another type of thing. Within a week, we had established our ICQ connection with each other and began to chat everyday if possible. In our chats we shared our life stories.... our joys and our sorrows. We told each other about our families, who they were.... as far back as we could take our ancestries. We found out that we had many things in common. Neither of us held anything back.... we were painfully honest with each other about ourselves. We had been chatting about a month when Ron had a vacation from work coming up in October. I invited him to spend his vacation with me and my nine year old son, Michael.

Ron accepted my invitation and made plans to fly down to Atlanta where I would pick him up. I drove nearly 200 miles to meet this man for the first time. Between the time we first began to correspond until we first met, we had spent over 300 hours on the Internet getting to know each other. I saved all but three (the first three) of our 100 or so chats, all our emails, ICQ messages, and all the file transfers (pictures, cartoons, poems, and song lyrics) to floppy disk. I don't know why, I just did. Perhaps I was thinking in the back of my mind that I would compile it all into a book someday.

When I met Ron at the Atlanta airport,(in a dress that I made especially for the occasion), I was nervous but in a good way. Ron and I had gotten as close as two people could get over the Internet and getting to meet him in person promised to be a pleasant experience. And it was a very pleasant experience. When he got off that plane we sort of fell into each other's arms like two lost lovers reunited. We talked the whole 180 miles back to where I lived in western North Carolina. Ron was going to stay with us for eleven days and a week after we had finally met in person, he asked me to be his wife.... and I accepted. The day that he was scheduled to fly home was a very emotional one for all of us. My son had gotten attached to Ron but he knew that it wasn't going to be the last time we would see him. The day after Ron flew home, I began packing to move. One month, to the day, after Ron flew home, my son and I were packed up in a twenty four foot Ryder truck and heading for Canada. 900 miles and an international boundary was of little consequence to me because Ron wanted us to be a part of his life.

I must say at this point, that we did not go about things in a conventional manner. In other words, my son and I were without passports or visas when we got to the Canadian border. The immigration official at the border was reluctant to let us across stating that, "You just can't pack a truck and move to Canada." But get across we did, at great expense for Ron. I refused to believe that if God had not meant for us to be together that we would not have gotten that far. Its been quite an ordeal, but we have managed to keep putting one foot in front of the other and tackling the obstacles as they come along. On May 8th, 1998, Ron and I became husband and wife. Its the best thing to ever happen to me and I'm very happy to be here with Ron and share his life with him.

The point to all of this is to share this experience with others who are going through the same process. I tell you here and now, that Internet relationships are not for the weak in spirit. I have always heard that there was someone for everyone, but the trick to it is that you have to be open and honest with yourself as well as the other person. That should be the rule for any relationship, not just an Internet romance. It takes courage and faith to look deep within yourself for that particular brand of honesty. You need to ask yourself questions that you may not want to know the answers to, or at the very least, be afraid of what you will find out about yourself. If you find that you have the honesty, the courage, and the faith, then the first step of your journey has been made.

I dedicate this page to Ron.... "Faithfully"