One day the pain became unbearable.  The darkness, the dull ache that had dwelt inside me for a lifetime, suddenly took on form and substance, and a life of it's own.  In terror, I cried for help.  Give this monster a name, I cried, help me control it, make it go away...

I was so afraid, there was so much pain.  Some heard me cry. They tried to tame, or at least to name, the monster.  They called it depression, they called it "personality disorder", they called it dissociation.  

In my heart, no name rang true.  In my heart I believed that the monster was

MY SELF

MY BLACK MONSTROUS SOUL.

How could I fight this self, this truth?  How could I control it?  

HELPLESS HOPELESS ABANDONED....

Pandora's box had opened inside me.  I had not yet reached the bottom, where the chrysalis called Hope waited for me.