From: Lehner Chris Date: Wed, 8 Sep 1999 16:51:00 -0400 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- What would captain's blather be without the waste-of-time response from NO-SHOW Lehner. By now, you should be able to sense what I will be preaching. I come to spread the word of the Church of JESUS CHRIST! of HAMMER Day Saints. Reflecting on our recent encounter with the Pigs, I again realize the only 100% throw for us that day (ugly power-gakking aside) was--anyone? anyone?-- yes, thank you, the Hammer. Bizo whipped out the knify little job up the sideline to Monster Chuck, breaking their pathetic D wide open. Well at that point Chuck had the attractive huck to Matt "I could score off this catch but I'd prefer the assist instead" Hopkins. Matt then graciously flicked in the score. Moments later, they dared to bring some wet-noodle, Swiss cheese floppy piece of crap zone to the table. Shaggy, in a moment of divine clairvoyance recognized the utility of the Hammer in that situation and put it up. Keep in mind this throw resulted in the loss of his competitive-play Hammer virginity. Innocent is he no more. As it wafted down politely into my palm, and I saw Matt mocking and taunting his D that failed to pace him. You all know how reluctant I am to try to put up a long throw, but I heard people from the sideline saying "Chris, please, just this once, try a huck." I'm not one to disappoint others, so away it went. Voila. That accounts for half of our scoring that glorious day. This missionary work is tough and often unrewarding, but heed the warning of Annie Lenox: "Don't mess with a missionary man."