Author: Non-HP-ChuckH (ChuckH@AMAA.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 Date: 5/13/99 11:21 AM Normal CC: Non-HP-ChuckH (ChuckH@AMAA.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-davidg (davidg@easystreet.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-mmckin (mmckin@msn.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: BrianVisaDavis-at-hp ("Brian"Visa"Davis") at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-bdsports (bdsports@aol.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-mi-han (mi-han@juno.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-ChuckH (ChuckH@AMAA.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-indiachr (indiachr@hotmail.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-cheezar (cheezar@aol.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Jeff Shiv Flynn(Corvallis)-at-hp ("Jeff "Shiv" Flynn(Corvallis)") at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: jeff flynn at hp-corvallis,omx TO: Karoline Kassmann-at-hp (Karoline Kassmann) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-kassmank (kassmank@clackesd.k12.or.us) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-hambyphoto (hambyphoto@earthlink.net) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-newhghts (newhghts@europa.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Linus Dickinson-at-hp (Linus Dickinson) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-Linusdickinson (Linusdickinson@hotmail.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-mark.p.mcghee (mark.p.mcghee@intel.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-heinema (heinema@ibm.net) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Marya Carmolli-at-hp (Marya Carmolli) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-carmolli (carmolli@ohsu.edu) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: MattStable MasterHopkins-at-hp ("Matt"Stable Master"Hopkins") at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-mchf94 (mchf94@hamp.hampshire.edu) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-m-deniro (m_deniro@hotmail.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-meredith-1 (meredith_1@hotmail.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Nathan Schultz-at-hp (Nathan Schultz) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-nathan-schultz (nathan_schultz@mail.intel.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-LFarring1 (LFarring1@aol.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 TO: Non-HP-wely (wely@imagina.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: Non-HP-DFrank2112 (DFrank2112@aol.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: 'Kama Sue Siegel'-at-hp ("'Kama Sue Siegel'") at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: Non-HP-kamasue (kamasue@mindspring.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: Non-HP-mrkev (mrkev@earthlink.net) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: Non-HP-ppoacher (ppoacher@aol.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: 'SeanZeusCushing'-at-hp ("'Sean"Zeus"Cushing'") at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: Non-HP-sean-r-cushing (sean_r_cushing@hotmail.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: 'TomEl DiabloSanchez'-at-hp ("'Tom"El Diablo"Sanchez'") at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: Non-HP-tsisiutl (tsisiutl@mailexcite.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: Non-HP-Patrick.M.VanDuser (Patrick.M.VanDuser@mw.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: Non-HP-brian.linkfield (brian.linkfield@nike.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: Non-HP-Amy.S.Vandervliet (Amy.S.Vandervliet@state.or.us) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: 'Rich, Sam J.'-at-hp ("'Rich, Sam J.'") at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: Non-HP-richsj (richsj@hsd.k12.or.us) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 CC: Non-HP-decarlo (decarlo@pacifier.com) at HP-Corvallis,mimegw1 Subject: A Bones Epic ------------------------------- Message Contents Bones and Friends- This started out as a simple update for our weekly update/tourney summary, and as you can see- it got a bit out of hand. Hope you enjoy it, I had fun writing it. C- p.s. I attached the word file, it is easier to read that way if you have the software.(It's at the bottom) SOUTH TO CORVALLIS! A Bone Epic. Written by:The Servant of the Bones Edited and Co-written By: Fromage Schultz WARNING- FACTS ARE SUBJECT TO PERSONAL INTERPRETATION. EVENTS AND SEQUENCE ARE BASED ON REAL EVENTS, BUT MAY HAVE BEEN MANIPULATED IN ORDER TO MEET 4-4 TIME. It happened this way, The lines are all true, Well, except where I lie Or embellish a few. There were 26 teams For 12 Cramp-up spots. So they threw all the bids Into one great big pot. "First locals, then champs, Then 12 more will pass, We'll keep it un-biased..." Yeah, right, kiss my... And so the draw went With Bones left to linger. Even Spirit This! "assholes" Got the big finger. "We will have our own tourney, With all those disappointed!" So Shiv set the scene- And Scram Pup! was anointed. SOUTH TO CORVALLIS!! Not quite to Mt. Ashland. Chuck scrambled the squad And re-kindled Bone passion! Down I-5 'till you smell it, Then turn to the west. Watch where you step Its stench ain't the best! And so we all traveled, just an hour and change, No MOHO, no carpools, To the named interchange. First Bizo and Megan, Then Nathan, then more, The ones who came early Found parking galore. And Shiv built a pedestal To yell at the masses. "Start games at ten, Have fun, kick some asses!" For Bones women we worried... Only two at the lap! Then Crazy Legs Barnes showed With cleats in her pack. First left cleat then right, Then she bent like a Swami, You'd swear that that Mom Could out-fold Origami. Two discs in the air, And Bones won the flip But were forced into black... Like a gun to its clip. (*click*) Linus, having shredded His new white jersey to fit, Said "I just paid for this thing Can't I wear it? Aww @#%*!" But never ceasing to smile, He slipped into black. The boy looks pretty Bone good ...In spite of that hat. With Eugene on the line, And dew still on the grass, Mark "Jose Perdido!" Stepped up to kick ass. First foot block then hand block, Then dash for the score. "I am here for the Bones, Shall I block you some more?" McKinley with forehand Then lit up the field, Cutting and running, A defensive shield. From Rockstar to Trackstar, One more week, then she's married! Stealthy fast in the lanes "Supergirl's" foes get buried. First game to get started, And first to be ended. We ran them like dogs, As the Bone Gods intended. Scoring out of the gates, D intense, O galore, That scrub team from Eugene Lost 15 to 4. ~siloh~ "Try to stay warm, huddle close." Chuck did wail, "Stay out of the rain, what is this? What the. . .HAIL?!" Dave kept himself warm With no skin to be seen. Wrapped up top to bottom He was quite a scene. And Friday night drinks Didn't slow down his hucking. His clear unmarked bottle... Kept him from upchucking. "So tell us dear Doc, What's that in your vial?" "Why it's vitamin C." With a devious smile... Well, whatever it is We're glad that you take it. Hucking forehand, then backhand They all seem to make it. Two hours later, Bones quite stiff from the wait. PBR and the Paw finished One hour late. Then Trish gave an omen Of another Bone win. "I drink Pabst for Breakfast!" Much to Winny's chagrin. "I may miss the first game, Perhaps part of a second, But once I'm doped up, (I mean show up) I'm a force to be reckoned!" Popping Beavers like wide-mouths, And shotgunning them down, She left 7 dead soldiers Drained there on the ground. And "Look at Me!" Lehner, Skied above all, Nothing went through him... Our own flying wall. No Beaver could take him Not Blondie, not Red. "Go back to your books kids, It's late, off to bed!" "Games to 13" Now was the call. 3 more yet to go, You must play them all! So we tried to comply, Though confusion was seen Because how could we do it, Having just hit 14? No prob', said the Bones, This won't take but a minute, Like strays at the kennel You get 5, then we end it. Bones won the toss, Won the shirts, slapped them sober, 20 minutes later, The game was all over! And that's how it happened, OSU was interred, Bones had 15, Pabst Blue Ribbon, one third. ~siloh~ Now into round three for "The game of the Season." Four Bones nicknamed "asshole" Showing short timers' treason. "Spirit This, Bones!" they cried, Then they threw up their fingers. "We have two of your Junta, And two of your ringers!" "Out with the old And In with the new!" Young Bones threw in jest, But it pierced Merde clear through! And the battle began First Asshole, then Bone. One point at a time No one team stood alone. Halftime at 7 In a game to 13... Bones fell behind, In a foggy-like dream. Only down by a point Bones stared at each other. Will we let them walk on us? And make fun of our mothers? Hamby is schooling Matt beats us like whores! Shiv just D-blocked another And Merde went deep for the score! Two more quick blows Points racked 8, and then 9. Bones seemed in a funk Playing rather sub-line. "I can't shake the feeling, We're just playing ourselves." Two Junta, two Bone men, ...and one of the Elves? Then I thought to myself, "Enough is enough!" It's put-up or shut up, Before we get crushed! "Are you tired of trading? And giving them points?" "You bet!" said the seven With interlaced joints. So here is the call, 1-7 like practice. First Marya, then Rockstar, Then Lehner will gack us. Mark McGee for the score And Chuck safety at 5, RUN LIKE YOU MEAN IT! We will eat them alive! That is all that it took Just that slap in the face. 7 straight scores POINT, SET, MATCH! 'Holes got aced!!! I am kidding you not, Seven points so pristine! And the Bizo layout Made the score 9-13. Then came the battle We knew would ensue, With Mix-Master Hamby Leading the spew. So went the cheer, Dis'd our moms, dis'd our name, "Rap all you want WE still won the game!" Then Nathan cranked up, To answer the slap. A cheer not so cutting- But a definite laugh. "My cheer-bone is rusty", quoth Mr. Consistent. But his offense was solid, His defense persistent! Fresh fromage 'round his belly Seemed to lube his attacks! A year off the field? Looking good, welcome back! ~siloh~ Then came Game 4, 'Gainst our own home town rival... Up stepped Ol' Takki In a fight for the title. Running at us with glee They showed spirit divine By supporting our tunnel As Chuck called the line. Now Takki we love, All our friends, former teammates. But no mercy, you drown- When we open Bone flood gates. So Bizo set pace By blocking discs early. Shouting, "pick up the disc, Send me deep for the girlies." But no body saw him! Not in time like he'd planned it. There goes the hat- "I was open, Goddammit!" Now Martin to hand blocks As hunter to snares. (rumor whispering) "He buys them at Costco, And serves them in pairs!" And the older he gets, The faster he moves! Bet he gets past light speed Before age 42! So when Martin went in Ol' Bizo let out "You best get a D, Or you know how I'll shout!" "You betcha," Said Martin "I'll be your defender." Bang! Chalk two more blocks For our big man, the Blender. And What was that blur, With teeth bared like a gator? "Gimme the disc!!" Look out, its MEGANATOR! "Sweet Jesus," I said, "That girls got desire! So throw her the disc! The Crusaders' on fire! Think the disc is too high And the D's got a bid? There's no way that she'll get it? What the-??!! She DID!? And who is that guy Calling subs, reading faces? It's our captain, the Servant, With six neoprene braces! One for each knee, And two on each ankle, He ambles along Like Mr. Bo Jangles. He'll get through the season On Ibu, not crack. Hefies(vizen) good for post-game, Just, please stay off the smack! Marya "Bionic Woman" With extendable joints- At least that's what it seemed like, As she scored half our points. Poor Takki tried hard To cover our weapon, But MC tore through, Ripped their defense in sections. What else can you do With a woman like that? "So you like playing coed?" "I'LL NEVER GO BACK!!!" Now Takki played hard But their fate had been sealed. They scored a few late With those thumbers Pat wields. But the onslaught too great, Too much talent to cover! Try to double-team this one, We'll throw to the other. As the sun settled down Behind trees laced with green, Found Takki at 8 And Bones with 13. "We want to keep playing!" Takki yelled, "Don't be mean!" Fine. Takki Paw 8 Bones now 15. And that's how it went From the front to the back Bones un-defeated Sporting their Blacks. ~Siloh~ So what is a Bone? If you're asked to define, I tell you it's deeper Than the seven on line. Perhaps sideline? Or coaching? No, it's much more than that. Try a feeling of kindred That makes our hearts fat. And it's not about winning Or losing a game. It's about being a family. We all share the Bone name. And yes, we play disc. It's the reason we met. But we're more than our parts now. Oh and lest I forget, I issue this warning To Bones old and Bones spry, Huck-pillage-bid-burn! YOU ARE BONE 'TILL YOU DIE!!! Charles T. Hayward Ankrom Moisan Associated Architects 6720 SW Macadam, Suite 100 Portland, Oregon 97219 503.245.7100, FAX 503.245.7710