Chapter 23

Why was she sitting there, Taylor's arms wrapped around her. It was 10:00 at night. She had to sing tomorrow. She had a cold. She knew she would suck tomorrow. She didn't have any plans as to what she was going to sing or what she was going to wear. So why was she sitting there letting Taylor nuzzle his lips against her neck, his warm breath giving her chills? What, you think she's crazy?

"Tay, I really have to get Zac to help me with tomorrow." She complained, not really wanting to leave the warm comfort of his muscular arms. The balcony was chilly, yes, but Taylor had a way of making it warmer.

"You really wanna go?"

Carter grinned as Taylor's lips teasingly brushed against hers. "No." She pushed him away and giggled.

Giggle? Since when did she giggle. Taylor's mind was cloudy around her lately. Maybe he missed the transition from bitch to babe. "So you don't want to go. But you don't want me to kiss you either?"

Carter smiled. "I like your kisses. I just really really have to plan tomorrow night."

"Couldn't you have done that earlier?"

"Yeah. But you wouldn't let me go then either!" Carter laughed and snuggled closer to Taylor.

He turned so that he was facing her, the blanket wrapped around both of them. Her tight white t-shirt was too inviting. How could he contain himself? And why did her hair have to be so cute when it was messy, due to under-blanket making out.

Taylor touched her stomach lightly, that tiny thin line of skin that showed under her t-shirt. Carter wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply. This of course telling Taylor to move foreward. The palm of his hand brushed against her stomach, probably a little too close to her chest. Why didn't she stop him? She had no idea. One of his hands was lightly tickling the back of her neck while the other was slowly pushing its way up her bra.

Carter shivered as his hand touched her bare breast. She abruptly stopped kissing him and leaned back a little.

"What?" He asked, his cheeks flushed, breathing heavily.

"Nothing. I just want to stop. That's all."

"Why? Did I do anything wrong?"

"No. I just don't want to go any further." Carter pushed a strand of her short brown hair out of her eye and sighed. "Is that a problem?"

"No." Taylor kissed her again and slid his hands up the back of her shirt.

Carter pushed him away. "Come on. I really have to figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow night. We can mess around anytime." She smiled sweetly.

"No we can't. You never let me."

"What? What the hell do you mean? I just let you!"

"Yeah and the minute I touch any skin you always push away."

"So maybe I don't want you too yet."

"Then why don't you stop me before I get into it? Christ, Carter. You're always leading me on."

Carter's jaw dropped open. "You're the one that's always kissing my neck and wrapping your arms around me. What that's not leading me on? Trust me I could go.... way further with you." She sighed. "Way further. I just don't want to. I want to wait."

"Well then. Wait all you want. I'm staying out here. Go ahead inside and play with Zac." He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

Carter shook her head slowly and grabbed the blanket off of Taylor. She dragged it inside with her as she went to Zac's bedroom.

"Hey you. Done doing the nasty with Taylor?" Zac joked as he saw Carter walk into his room, her hair slightly disheveled.

Carter gave him a look that he had never seen before. A look that read, "Why the hell did you have to say that. I'm already about to cry." She looked down at the floor and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders.

Zac jumped up from the chair in his bedroom and walked over to her. He put his hands on the sides of her arms and looked down at her. "You ok?" Carter shook her head slowly. Zac pulled her closer and hugged her. "What happen?"

"Your brother never even talks to me. All he ever wants to do is make out and... stuff. But I don't think I want to." She sniffled, barely holding back her tears. Her voice was muffled into Zac's shoulder.

"Want me to beat him up for you?"

Carter laughed slightly and picked her head up. "Why doesn't he care about me? He says he does. But he doesn't."

Zac shook his head and wiped a tear away from her eye. "He does. He just..."

"He doesn't. See. When you care about somebody, you don't make them feel like crap."

Zac looked over his shoulder at Taylor, standing in the doorway. "Get out."

Carter turned around, leaning her back against Zac's chest. She was feeling dizzy from her cold, and now Taylor had seen her crying.

"You're crying."

"No shit." Zac muttered. "I said get out."

"I didn't mean to make you cry." Taylor looked sympathetically at Carter. His bright blue eyes didn't help much.

Carter let out a loud sob and screamed at Taylor. "All I wanted was for you to care about me! And then I ask if I can go do something that means the world to me and you don't even give a shit! All you wanna do is make out. Damn you Taylor." Carter shivered and wiped her eyes. "Why the hell is it so cold in here?!"

Zac turned her around and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Cause you're sick and you have a fever and you're gonna go home and go to bed."

"I can't go to bed. I have to plan tomorrow night."

Taylor stepped forward and touched her shoulder. "You're not gonna sing tomorrow. I'm gonna call him and tell him you can't. Because you're sick."

Carter turned around and glared at him. "You think you can make it up by caring about me for 2 seconds. That doesn't work Taylor. And neither do we. I'm sorry but it can't be like this. It's over."

Taylor shook his head and walked out of the room. "No it's not."

Carter walked over to Zac's bed and laid down on her stomach. She burried her face in his pillow and sobbed. Zac laid down next to her and lightly rubbed her back. "Don't cry." He whispered. "You know him too well. He's not worth tears. You've always known that. My whole like I've seen you cry like.. 3 times. Don't cry over him."

Carter looked up at him with tearstained eyes. "It's not him."

"Huh?"

"It's you."

"What?" Zac looked surprised. He pulled her up and stared into her eyes. "What do you mean its me?"

"I mean its you. You have to be so nice and perfect to me when all I want you to do is for once take Taylor's side."

"I don't get it."

"I know you don't. Neither do I. Everytime you do something nice for me or look at me with that hot ass face of yours it makes me want you even more. I just want you to be mean to me for once so that I can stop loving you like this. It hurts, Zac."

"But..."

Carter wiped her eyes for the last time and took a deep breath. "How long is it going to take you to realize all this? The reason I don't want Taylor... doing anything with me. The reason it's just kissing when I kiss him. That's all there is to it."

Zac sat in silence, staring at her.

"How long's it going to take you to realize that I want you to be the one that I'm with. You're there for me every second of the day and you would do anything for me if I asked you. But why won't you just tell me you love me?"

"I have."

"Not like that. I mean....Zac...." Carter stared at him and blinked hard. "I love you Zac. You're who I want to be with. You're who I want to kiss my neck and play with my hair and... do stuff with."

Zac laughed lightly and grinned. "Why didn't you just tell me all this before? You actually think I don't love you like that?"

Carter shook her head.

"Well I do love you Carter. I may be only 14, but I know what love is. I always have. It's when I can't look at anything else without seeing you. It's when you're here, but you're not close enough. It's when you go home and I flick my walkie talkie on the second after you leave because I just want to hear your voice again...." Zac took a deep breath. "And it's hiding your feelings when you finally realize you have them... because your damn brother has a crush on your best friend."

Carter burried her face in Zac's shoulder again. "Zac... Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Same reason you didn't."

"Because you were scared?"

"Yeah."

Zac?" Carter lifted her head up and stared at him. Her face was only inches from his.

"Yeah?"

"Don't ever be scared again." She laughed.

Zac wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. He was almost surprised when he felt her kiss him back. He knew what love was. He always had.

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