21

"Okay, Nick, I need you to drink another bottle of barium for me."

"What?" I hissed as the nurse rolled me into the waiting lobby.

"You have to drink three bottles before the test, honey."

I groaned as she placed the cold, slimy glass in my hand.

"Do you need a straw?"

"I'll try to gulp it down as fast as I can, thanks." I looked around the empty space. "What happened to Katie and Dr.Turtle?"

"Their shift is over. I'm Sissy, I'll be taking over for now. And I'm not sure who Dr.Turtle has assigned your case to while she's away."

Sissy? My nurse's name was Sissy? That's reassuring....Especially, when the nurse looks ghostly and sicker than I do.

I stared at the barium.

"You need to drink that, honey, while I explain what's going to happen."

'What's going to happen?' Chances are you're going to hurt me, lady...That is 'what's going to happen.'

"The machine you're going to be placed in is going to give you breathing commands."

I felt myself choking on the thick slime. "Breathing commands?"

"Uh huh. A voice will be talking to you tell you when to hold your breath and when to release it."

I set the glass down. "Ma'am, I think if I drink anymore of this I'm going to vomit."

"You have to get it down. Or else drinking the other two will be worthless."

I was determined to get it down. I wasn't drinking anymore of the horrid liquid than I had to.

Barium- a thick, slimy liquid bearing a horrid taste of combined spoiled milk and used glue paste.

She continued with her explanation. "Then, after you go through the first round of testing, Charlie will come in and inject the dye into your veins."

"Charlie?"

"The man conducting the testing." She glanced over me. "You're not wearing any jewerly, are you?"

"No."

"All right. Now, I need to ask you some questions while you finish your drink."

It's not a drink. Coke is a drink. THIS is slime.

"Are you experiencing any nausea?"

"Yes."

"Vomiting?"

"Yes."

"Diarrhea?"

"Comes and goes."

"Dizziness?"

"Yes."

"Have you had fainting spells?"

"Yes."

"High fevers?"

"Yes."

"Confusion?"

"Yes."

"Body aches?"

"Yes."

"Muscle cramping?"

"Yes."

"History of persponal mental illness?"

"No."

"History of mental illness in your family?"

"I dunno, that's none of my business."

She nodded, finishing her paperwork. "Very well. I'll turn these in and Charlie will be along directly."

Now, I was left alone. Alone to ponder the oncoming pain, work myself into a tizzy and slowly slip into insanity.....Refreshing.

"Morning, Mr.Carter." A deep voice greeted me.

I looked up to see a man or perhaps I should say an ox. He was easily 6'5 and three-hundred pounds. I now looked like a munckin.

I gulped down the last of my bad tasting milkshake from hell. It made sense, get a huge person to restrain me when l lose my  cool. lt was as if the hospital knew of my oncoming insanity ahead of time.

He chuckled. "Yo, you can't take your uh...toy with 'ya."

This man had the vocabulary of a rejected NBA hopeful. He looked like a demented version of Shaq.

"lt's not a toy!" I snapped. "It's a simple symbol of friendship!"

"Sure it is. Either way, you'll have to leave it with me."

Hey! It's my damn Care Bear and you can't have it! ARGH! Bring back the whimy nurse, I like her better. I'll even be nice to her and not need restraints.

"You promise to take care of it? My um...baby sister gave it to me. She'll be pissed if I lose it."

He nodded, rolling me away. "Whatever you want. There's a small set of lockers in the lobby, I'll put it there for you."

"Thanks."

I shivered as we entered the white room. The machine looked like a torture device. "Um...that doesn't look comfortable."

He pulled me to my feet. "That's because it's not."

And the award for sweetest hospital worker goes to....not this guy. Now, on top of feeling and looking like shit, I was getting frustated.

"Okay..." he sighed as he practically lifted me onto the thin board below the heavy cameras. "Just lye back and try to relax."

'Relax'? You're shoving me into a hole with a churning tummy and you want me to relax?! I don't think so.

"You're going to feel the machine moving around, lifting you into various positions. That's so we can make sure you're lined up correctly with the cameras above you. You'll know when the testing has begun once you hear the woman's voice giving you the commands." He took the Care Bear from my grasp.

Damn thief.

"If you need anything, just move your arms around to get my attention."

How about I move my arms and slap you instead? "Um, thank you, Sir."

It's the times when you're alone in a hospital that you're really scared. If something was to happen- how would anyone know? And looking at this invention as they lifted me, positioning my body- I really don't think I'm safe. I'm trapped. What if there's a fire? I can't very well escape. And what about an earthquake? This mass could fall on top of me, crushing me to my death! A flood! A flood could come in and whisk me away to the sea.

A flood? Perhaps, l was overreacting just a tad.

My random thoughts sent the sides of my stomach into battle against one another. Here's an idea: Let's declare peace and send me home. Any takers?

"Breathe in....Hold your breath."

I held the deep breath painfully as the computerized voice commanded.

"Release."

I gasped, trying to catch my breath.

"Breathe in....Hold your breath."

So much for catching my breath...I must really be sick. This should be easy for a singer after years of hearing 'breathe from the diaphragm.'

The rountine of  'breathe in, breathe out' continue for another fifteen minutes. However, when I'm scared, minutes seem like an eterity. I'm sure Brian could relate.

"Okay, kid."

The farm animal had returned. "I have to inject the dye into your veins now."

My lips quivered. "This is going to hurt, right?"

He rolled his eyes. "Now, I know why they make blonde jokes."

Damn troll....

I sighed, clutching my stomach. "Uh, Charlie? I really feel sick."

He prepared my arm. "That's probably why you're here."

I wonder if being in the Backstreet Boys would help give me the power to get this guy fired? Nothing wrong with wishing.

"Okay, you're going to feel a small stick."

I gasped as he shoved the needle under my skin twisting it about. Small? Nothing about this guy was small!

"Darnit, I can't get the vein!"

I winced. "Could you please stop?"

"Just a sec!"

"AH!" I moaned as he twisted it again. "Dear Lord, please make him stop," I pleaded through whispers.

He pulled the needle out roughly, shoving a swab of cotton against my brusied skin. "Your vein collasped on me!"

I winced. "Maybe someone else could try."

"I'll try," came a quiet voice. "You go wait in the back until I need you to start the machine again, Charlie."

Relief washed over me as I saw Sissy walking toward me.

She examined my arm gently. "Why in the world would he try in the arm with the IV?" She sighed angrily, moving to my other arm. "I think my best bet would be in your hand."

"Do you have to? That's where it hurts the worst during these things."

"I know, but the plus side is I'm not drawing any blood, so, I can use the vein I can see without rummaging around on your hand and have it done it one try."

"Oh." That sounded better than my other wars with needles.

"Did Charlie explain how this is going to feel?"

"No." Wake up call : it is impossible to have a conversation with an ox.

"Okay, the dye is going to injected into your veins. You're probably going to feel it working through your body. Your going to get incredibly warm very quickly and your body might be feeling tingling sensations. It also causes your bladder to feel extremely full, but I promise you're not going to have an accident, no matter how bad it feels."

"You're positive?" This is really isn't fair, they don't make pull ups in my size...

"I'm positive and this tends to cause severe nausea."

Severe nausea? Grrreat, this little bottle of dye is what I like to call 'hell in a bottle.'  And what color is this dye? I refuse to look like a Smurf!

"Are you ready?"

Is this really a question? Is this the opportunity to get the hell off this board and run out?

"l guess."

She prepped my skin. "Okay, honey, this will burn a bit."

'A bit'? That was an understatement! The dye felt like liquid fire. I could feel it travelling through my body, causing pain as it guided along. My skin tingled and burned immensely. Sweat began to roll of my body as my temperature rose.

The tingling increased as my bladder began to feel full. So full it actually throbbed. I tightened my legs out of habit.

'Breathe in......hold your breath'

This was just the beginning. Now, the nausea came. The rollercoaster waves of nausea..... Fifteen minutes of pain and breathing directions continued until.....

"All done," Silly grinned as she greeted me once more.

I shut my eyes, fighting the agony that had met my body as the machine rolled away from me.

"You okay?"

"I'm sick," I moaned, keeping my lips tight, afraid to let the barium reappear.

She frowned. "I know. Charlie!"

Perfect.....The man from old McDonald's farm. I'm feeling better already.

Sissy felt my forehead. "Do you need anything before you go back to your room?"

Yes....I want Kevin to kill the rejected farm animal.

"No, I just want to get back to my room and my friends."

Charlie the Giant returned. "What does the kid need?"

"He needs help getting back into the chair, I'm afraid he might faint."

Charlie lifted me up, helping me to swing my legs over the railing. "You okay so far?"

"So far so good." Just get your smelly hands off me, dude!

He dragged me to my chair, easing me down. "Okay, all set."

Sissy stood behind the wheelchair. "Did you bring anything with you?"

"A bear."

"A bear?"

"His kid sister's toy, it's in the first locker on the right," the animal barked.

"I'll get it for him," Sissy said, pushing me away.

Thank God. Goodbye, Charlie...Sorry about the NBA rejection, l hope to never see you again.

Sissy stopped the wheelchair along the lockers, removing the toy. "Here, you go, honey."

I laid it my lap, shutting my eyes to ease the dizziness.

***************************

"Here we are!" the nurse exclaimed as we reached my room once again.

"This is new," I whispered.

"Now that you've been properly admitted, we were able to book you in a private room."

I held my spinning head. "Where are my friends?"

"They were in the waiting room. One of them was being sent here."

"Only one?"

"I'm afraid so, at least until visiting hours."

She helped me to my feet. "Doing all right?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come. My body fell to the floor, vomit going everywhere. Sissy had caught my arm, managing to keep me from hitting my head.

"Oh God! Nick, Nick are you with me?"

I nodded.

"Let's get you out of this gown and have someone clean this up."

"NICK!" shouted a voice from the door.

I tried my damnest to smile and be okay. "Hey, Frick."

Brian lifted me to my feet, helping the nurse remove the gown. She threw the dirtied gown away, happy to see my boxers were clean.

"Could you set him on the bed, sir? I'll go get him another gown and bring him another IV!"

Brian boosted me on to the bed. "You poor kid," he whispered, dunking a paper towel into my melted ice chips, cleaning my face. "Your tummy feel any better?"

My lips quivered. "It all hurts so much." I bit my lip. "The test hurt really bad. I feel so sick...."

He sighed, attempting not to get choked up. "I know, just try relax now."

Sissy returned with a janitor to aid her. "All right, kiddo. Let's get you cleaned up and into a new gown."

Brian extended his hands. "I can clean him up while you adjust the IV."

"Thank you."

I couldn't stop my body from shaking as Brian wiped the perspiration away from my body with the damp towel. "Br-Brian?"

He set the towel aside, gently guiding my arms into the gown sleeves. "What, Nicky?"

"You don't have to do this. I'm okay."

He sighed, tying the strings behind my neck. "How many times do we have to go through this?"

"Um...a lot?"

Sissy turned away from the IV. "That should help him."

"What brought this on?" Brian asked.

"The barium. His stomach just couldn't handle it."

"It tastes like shit," I moaned.

She nodded, placing a thermometer in my ear. "Well, he pretty much summed it up."

He stroked my forehead. "How long until he has another test?"

"An hour or so. He has a ultrasound. Luckily, he can be as tired as he wants or alsleep and it shouldn't affect him too much."

She retrieved the thermometer. "103.5."

"Hey, maybe you could grill a burger on your forehead for AJ," Brian laughed in an attempt to find humor.

I closed my eyes. "Don't mention farm animals."

The nurse walked to the door after the janitor had finished cleaning up my floor decorations. "Nick, do you want a drink or anything?"

"No, I just need to lye still for awhile."

"Very well. If you need anything at all, buzz me."

"Wait!" I croaked.

She poked her head inside. "Yes?"

I coughed. "My..um...sister's bear. I kinda' puked on it."

Her brow creased. "Hold on a second. I'll be right back."

Brian pulled the blankets over me. "Would BJ kill you if you lost her bear, right?"

"You could say that."

The nurse reappeared. "The janitor took it to the laundry area. It's been marked as your's and will be returned once it's clean, I promise."

Brian smiled. "Thanks. BJ really loved that thing, huh Nick?"

"Uh huh."

"Get some rest, Mr.Carter."

Brian returned his attention to me. "Anything I can do?"

My breaths came in gasps from the ever present pain increasing minute by minute. "Just sit with me?"

"Of course," he mumbed, trying to keep his cool as he realized the intensity of my illness within a few short minutes. "Anything else?"

"Um..singing kinda' helps me."

"Okay if you like. What song?"

"Do you know 'Return to Pooh Corner'?"

"Um...parts of it here and there. ls that good enough?"

"Sure."

He smiled. "How do you know that song? You like Kenny Loggins?"

"My mom sang it to Angel all the time," I lied. ....If l wasn't so delirious I'd make a mental note never to tell my sisters how often I use them as a distraction device.

Brian closed his eyes, patting my shoulder, attempting to ignore my raspy breathing, which I could tell scared him.

'Count all the bees in the hive......Chase all the clouds from the sky.......Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh....'