Chapter 21
"Hello, Andrew. How are you feeling today?" Doctor Giannetti asks when I get to his office a few days later. We've played two games since my first visit, and won both. I had an assist on a goal scored by Kirk last night, and I'm starting to remember how it felt to play before Johan, before everything went bad in Pittsburgh.
"Good," I answer truthfully. I know that what I'm going to tell him today will cause a lot of problems, but I'm strangely calm. Curtis will be there for me. So will Steve and Kirk. I feel almost safe. I'm scared, but not terrified.
"You asked me something the other day, and I wasn't completely honest," I start, staring at my hands. "When you asked if I said anything about it to anyone. I did, once."
Brown eyes focus on mine, curious, wondering, but not judging. "Who did you talk to?"
I swallow hard, and I force myself to keep looking back at him. "My captain back in Pittsburgh."
"Lemieux," he clarifies, and I nod. "What did you tell him?"
"I explained what Johan was doing. Back then it was just a few punches after losses; this was before it got really bad. I asked him if he could talk to Johan about it. Make it stop."
"What was his response?"
I take a shaky breath, but I'm able to keep my eyes on his. "He told me that it was normal. He said that it was how things worked at the NHL level. He warned me not to make a fuss, because then it would get worse. So I stopped asking questions. I shut up and took it like a man, like Mario told me to."
Doctor Giannetti scribbles some notes down, then glances up at me. "That's when you started to believe the abuse was okay." It is a statement, not a question.
"I figured it had to be. I mean, Mario is the captain, the owner...he's in the hall of fame. I assumed he was right. So I just let it happen, I never complained after that."
He pauses, seemingly searching for words. "As your doctor, Andrew, I cannot ethically discuss your case with anyone. However, I think that you should give serious consideration to the thought of telling this all to someone involved in the investigation. If Lemieux knew of the abuse, and did nothing to stop it--especially if he was condoning it, he is going to have to face the consequences."
I nod slowly, and the fear I've held off for so long chokes me. What if no one else believes me? He senses my discomfort, and we move onto another topic. I'm in a daze for most of the session, wondering how I can say this all again.
No one is going to take me seriously.
"You hungry?" Kirk asks once we're in his car. I shrug, and he adds, "Steve invited us to lunch. Curtis will be there."
I grin slightly, "Did I mention that I'm starving?"
Steve is waiting in the lobby, leaning against the wall, when we get there. "Cujo's already here, I just wanted to talk to Andy," he explains to Kirk.
Once we're alone, Steve reaches a hand over to squeeze my shoulder. "How did it go today?"
He's asked that after both sessions, and I have the feeling that he will keep asking; it's nice to know that he cares.
"It was okay, but there's something else I wanted to talk to you about..." I say quietly.
His eyes turn compassionate, noting the tremble in my voice. "Of course, Andy. Anything."
"It's kind of about the investigation," I pause for a breath, checking to make sure the lobby is empty. "But I'm not really sure anyone is going to believe me..."
"Why not?"
I start telling him the story, saying exactly what I told Doctor Giannetti, and I pray that he believes me. I don't know if anyone will take me seriously, because it's my word against Mario's. I feel like David going against Goliath.
