FADE IN:

INT. ROBIN WILLIAMS' EXPENSIVE HOME

ROBIN WILLIAMS is on bad terms with HIS DEMON KIDS and his uncaring, incredibly annoying WIFE CHERYL HINES.

CHERYL HINES

You are a loser and a jerk! Really, I berate you for devoting too much time to making decent a living for us, without helping you or even asking you about the situation!

HIS DEMON KIDS

Yeah, Dad, you freaking suck.

ROBIN WILLIAMS

Jesus. How typical for a modern family. In order to reunite it, I'm gonna take my malfunctioning family for a comically disastrous trip! In an RV that is designed to humiliate its owners!

AUDIENCE

(turned into sadistic monsters as they laugh their ASSES off)

Bwahahaha! This is so funny! New ingenious ways to torture the characters!

INT. COUNTRY-MUSIC ROAD

ROBIN WILLIAMS' FAMILY sets off for their catastrophic journey to COLORADO and begins to suffer DISASTER after DISASTER, which is FUNNY.

AUDIENCE

Bwahahaha! This is so original! If you haven't seen PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES!

Eventually, they suffer a FUNNY, WITTY, THOUGH UNREALISTIC WASTE DISASTER and meet with JEFF DANIELS' SUPPOSEDLY FREAKY FAMILY, which surely turns out to be the savior of the day. TWISTED DIRECTOR BARRY SONNENFELD offers close-ups as ROBIN laughs and makes funny noises when JEFF helps him by splashing water on ROBIN'S groin, which is not so much FUNNY as it is DISTURBING.

JEFF DANIELS

I see you have met my suspiciously hot airhead of a Mrs-Nice-Girl Wife Kristin Chenoweth. As such, you might have realized that my freaky family, as opposed to yours, is a painfully obvious symbol for a GOOD family.

ROBIN WILLIAMS

I can't see the errors of my at least semi-normal ways. I will run away and reject your help.

He and his MALFUNCTIONING FAMILY DO. They continue to suffer DISASTER after DISASTER as they dodge FREAKY FAMILY.

AUDIENCE

Bwahahaha! This is hilarious! I'll never get enough of bad things happening to people!

EXT. COLORADO

ROBIN'S MALFUNCTIONING FAMILY arrives at the camp site and suddenly EVERYONE starts to LOVE EACH OTHER.

HIS DEMON KIDS

Dad, after countless times of refusing to help you with the disasters, failing to appreciate your commitment to this family and being a real pain in the butt, we have suddenly learned to care about you because we have suffered a disastrous trip.

CHERYL HINES

And I, by experiencing the comically horrible journey to Colorado, have caught a glimpse of our previous life and I just realize how much I really love you!

ROBIN WILLIAMS

Oh, this is so moving, so please excuse me when I do my Mean Boss' bidding because I actually planned this trip for my workplace is nearby...

CHERYL HINES

What? You sacrificed Hawaii and took us for a disastrous trip instead just because you can keep your job? You used us for the sake of our financial welling being! How obnoxious!

ROBIN WILLIAMS

Hey, you know I can actually FLY to Colorado ON MY OWN rather than attempting to make you happy and only if you will actually let me explain...

CHERYL HINES

Too late! I hate you!

HIS DEMON KIDS

Us too!

ROBIN WILLIAMS

Then I will still have to work!

He rides off on a bike, heading for more DISASTERS. Meanwhile, JEFF'S FREAKY FAMILY shows up and takes CHERYL and HER DEMON KIDS for a ride. They, sure as hell, finally learn that FREAKY FAMILY IS NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL.

JEFF'S FREAKY SON

I got my eyes attached to you, Demon Daughter. Help me with it.

ROBIN'S DEMON DAUGHTER

Get lost and leave me alone.

JEFF'S FREAKY SON

I have good grades in Home School.

ROBIN'S DEMON DAUGHTER

God, I love you so much!

They make out, which is too STUPID to be FUNNY. Suddenly, from a distance, ROBIN sees two families together and is HORRIFIED.

ROBIN WILLIAMS

How can they hang out together?! I have now, through the prejudice my semi-normal ways have equipped me, come to see the errors of my semi-normal ways and I'm going to sacrifice my job for my family, in one way or another!

He flies down and bumps into FREAKY FAMILY'S RV.

HIS FAMILY

We now love and forgive you for your misdeeds, Robin.

KRISTIN CHENOWETH

It is good that, after a solid laugh from your comically disastrous trip, you've chosen the right path: keep your family alive by losing your job without any backup plans.

JEFF DANIELS

And it is doubly good if you know I graduated from Stanford. Which is terribly important, honestly.

ROBIN WILLIAMS

Wow, suddenly you aren't freaks anymore. Let's be friends.

Then in a twist of EXPLOITED COMIC MATERIALS, ROBIN and HIS NOW NORMALLY-FUNCTIONING FAMILY suffer the LAST RV DISASTER IN THIS MOVIE.

AUDIENCE

Bwahahaha! Suffering! Suffering! Yeah!

END