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Fractured Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, (I don’t exactly know when, about a month ago) a Princess named Ariel was banished from the kingdom. This kingdom was ruled by her father and she was banished because…well that’s a whole other story. You’re probably thinking that this is your ordinary princess, like the ones you see in all the movies. You think she is tall, blonde haired, and sweet, but she’s not. She’s an ugly hag, stout and she is very mean to all the other ugly mermaids, the ones that look just like her. She was so plump that all the mermaids called her colossal mermaid, mocking “The Little Mermaid” Okay, enough about how ugly and colossal Ariel is, let’s get back to her banishing. Her father kicked her out of the kingdom. He literally kicked her. He kicked her so far that she washed her up on the shores of New York City.
The Colossal Mermaid
She passed out for a little while and when she awoke, there was a tall man in a black suit hovering over her. She thought this man was a warlock so in astonishment she cried, “Ahhh, warlock!”
The so called “warlock” (who was actually a business man) looked up from his phone call and questioned, “You think I’m a warlock?”
“Why of course!” she exclaimed, “You have a black witch hat and a wand in you’re hand!” Actually, his witch hat was really a top hat and his wand was a pointer stick, but anyhow he looked like a warlock.
The man then said, “If you think I am a warlock then what are you?”
“I am a mermaid,” she replied “I was hoping you were a warlock. I wanted you to change me into a beautiful young lady as I was banished from my father’s kingdom and I wished to live here.”
“I can’t change you into a lady, but I do know someone who can.”
Magically (no one knows how, but that’s a whole other story) he got her into the main attraction of New York City, Times Square. He brought her to a very tall building in the center of Times Square. She looked up at a huge building and muttered to herself, “Ah, he has taken me to a castle. A very important king must live here.” Actually, this is a very ordinary building with computers and bosses and everything. When they stepped inside she saw many people running around doing things. “Wow” she thought, “This must be a very important king. He has so many people working for him.”
The man took her to a thingymabobberwhosawhatsit that carries you to the floor you need to go to. I think it’s called an elevator, but no one is really sure. Once they got off the “elevator”, they stepped into a huge office made out of steel. The business man told the mermaid he would be right back and walked into another room. When he came back he brought with him a man that also was a business man. He had a black top hat and everything.
“Hello!” the man bellowed. He had a deep voice and his nose in the air and everything you would expect a very cocky man to have.
“Hi?” she said. The mermaid made it sound more like a question, not a statement.
“I hear you wish to be a beautiful young woman with legs, not fins yes?”
“Yes sir!” she exclaimed.
“Well I can help you.” said the better looking, cockier, nose in the air business man. There was a cloud of smoke and then she turned into a beautiful young girl with feet and hands. No one really knows how she became beautiful and a human, but that’s a whole other story.
“Why, thank you!” she exclaimed.
“No problem” he replied, “This happens all the time. There is one thing that you need to do for me to stay young and beautiful. You have to bring me to a Broadway show every Friday night for the rest of you’re life, if you forget you will loose your legs and once again you will be ugly.”
“I promise!” and with that she ran straight out the door.
She started shopping and got so caught up in buying every handbag, shoe, and monkey [she liked monkeys] in New York, she forgot all about the Broadway show. This made the cocky, nose in the air business man very, very angry. Since she forgot on the first night and she was very disobedient he changed her into a…
Well, that’s a whole other story.
