Jimmy's Page
Hello, my name is Jimmy. I go to St. Joseph the Worker School.
Welcome to my page!
Fractured Fairy Tale
Snow White and the 13 Dwarves
Once upon a time in an old apartment building on the outskirts of town lived a young girl. She wasn’t pretty or even average looking. She was a hideous young hag named Snow Wart, only because she had so many warts. We don’t exactly know how she got her name because everyone who saw her ran away flailing their arms and screaming. Your typical fairy tale right?
Now it so happened that one night Snow Wart went to the grocery store and bought some milk, bread , carrots; the usual stuff and maybe even some wart remover if it was in stock. When she returned home, she went to rinse off the carrots and while doing so, saw a magical glow around them! Suddenly, legs and arms began to pop out of each carrot! Apparently, the carrots had turned into 11 little dwarves! The tallest dwarf stepped forward, “Ay ay, I’m Homie and these are my bros: Sleepy, Smarty, Dopey, Grumpy, Bashful, Brucella, Perry, Sneezy, Rudy, and this is my lil sis: Chelsea. Those two other carrots are my other bros. They at college.” “Okay…” replied Snow Wart with confusion,” Well, what do you do?” “What do you mean?” ”Oh you know, some magical dude comes, grants three wishes changes some pumpkin into a carriage… its in all of the movies.” “Hey, I didn’t sign up for no wish granting!” exclaimed Brucella. “ We’ll since we’re here we might as well do something to help her, I mean look at her she’s hideous!” said Chelsea sympathetically. “Thanks a lot. Anyway, I want to be GORGEOUS and have no warts!” exclaimed Snow Wart. POOF! A giant puff of purple smoke arose and Snow Wart rushed to her mirror. But she was still ugly, maybe even a little uglier because the smoke mad her warts have a reaction. “ Why the heck do I still have WARTS?!?!?” demanded Snow Wart. “ Hey, chill we do that all the time for special effects!” said Smarty innocently.
Now, unfortunately the dwarves could not, I repeat not, grant wishes or change a pumpkin into a carriage for their lives even with all of the magical puff in the world. But it just so happened that they were fabulous stylists.
So, the next day (when the dwarves were back to their carrot form) they all took a visit to Sally Beauty Supply and practically bought the store. No, literally they bought everything but the building. Now apparently each dwarf had its own specialty. Homie did nails, Chelsea was great at hair, Bashful was amazing with makeup, and to Snow Wart’s delight, Sleepy specialized in unknown foreign warts and boils! And all of the others were very good spectators.
When they returned home, they immediately went to work. As they were working they began to sing. “High ho, high ho, its off to work we go. Makeover the hag so she’s not a drag. High ho, High ho, high ho, High ho.” “I GET IT YOUR GOING TO WORK!!!” screamed Snow Wart.
After 14 very, very long hours and a few baths in 17 different types of wart remover, Snow Wart was the most beautiful girl in the entire town! “Thank you guys so much, how could I ever repay you?” “Well…” the dwarves said, “We like potatoes. So, if you can give us each 50 potatoes we’ll keep you beautiful. But if you don’t…” And with that the dwarves were gone. No matter how many times she rinsed the carrots in the water they would not sprout legs and turn into dwarves.
So within the next 5 years Snow Wart, now Snow White because her skin glistened like beautiful white snow, had married a handsome (and extremely Wealth) prince named Philippe who lived in a lovely castle. They had three beautiful children named Alexander, Aurora, and Ella. They also had two step daughters named Lucinda and Florina. Their castle was at the top of a gorgeous hill with an elegant courtyard and tons of servants and maids. Snow White was as happy as a clam with her lovely life style and fabulous family. Then tragedy struck. One night in a dream the ten dwarves appeared to her. “You had five years to retrieve our potatoes! Now you must pay!” She woke in terror and ran to her husband. When she found him digging though the refrigerator, he glanced up at her and ran away flailing his arms and screaming. Snow White rushed to her bathroom mirror. Once again she turned back into a hideous hag.
Snow White now Snow Wart, found her husband yet again confessed the entire story. Philippe simply smiled. A magical glow began to surround him. Immediately, ten little dwarves hopped out of the prince suit. “I told you she wouldn’t listen to us” said Perry. “Yeah so now were going to, ah-choo, curse your daughters, ah-choo, forever!” cackled Sneezy ” “ If you curse my daughters, can I have my life and beauty back?” The dwarves huddled together and whispered. “All right, if you can live with yourself cursing your daughters like that…” “I think I can handle it” said Snow Wart. POOF! They were gone and onto their next victim, and Snow Wart, now Snow White once more, was beautiful and happy yet again. As for her daughters… that’s another story.
So the moral of the story is:
1.)Always trust dwarves that are made from carrots.
2.)Always keep your word or else you might be turned into an ugly hag.
3.)If you were paying attention her daughters and Ella, Lucinda, and Florina are from Cinderella and Aurora is from Sleeping Beauty.
And they all lived happily ever after except for her daughters.
