Feelings
Why aren`t I looking forward to you being born?
Why do I feel so old and worn?
Why do I want to kill you
and hurt myself too?
I don`t think I could ever love you really
even though I`d like to dearly.
I don`t think I`m ready to be a mother,
to you or any other.
I feel so scared and on my own,
but I know I`m not alone.
I`ve got friends around me,who seem to care,
but when I need them,they`re not there.
I wish I could curl up and die,
instead I just sit here and cry.
I need someone to hold me close
but that`s too much to ask ,I suppose.
I feel that nobody gives a damn,
about what I feel,or how I am.
I like Rossi a great deal,
but he doesn`t understand how I feel.
He doesn`t like it when I ask for a hug,
I tell him I love him,he says I`m a mug.
I honestly can`t cope with much more,
I`m driving myself ito the floor.
I`m sinking lower into this pit,
I wish I could pull myself out a little bit.
At the moment I am stuck,
which is just my luck.
I`m just so full of doubt,
about whether I`ll ever sort myself out.
I know that someday I will,
but that seems a long way off still.
I wish I could somehow hibernate
and wake up when I`m in a better state.
I wish I could terminate you myself,
and at the same time damage my health.
I just don`t want to live any longer,
I wish I was feeling stronger.
Nobody knows how much I hurt and groan,
for this,I`ve never really shown.
I feel so really bad,
I feel so depressed and sad.
I don`t know how I`ll cope,
around the house all I do is mope.
I feel so confused and down,
how I wish that I could drown.
I wish that I could snap out of this,
to be happy,is what I also wish.
I don`t really want to hurt myself again,
this just causes me too much pain.
I don`t really want to hurt you,
I just don`t know what I want to do.