Unmissed

Many times in my life I have been alone
and many times I have felt free from burden
yet not until now have I ever known this depth of alone
to be unmissed.

It is new to me even though I would have wished it many times,
in an attempt to escape the realities of life,
or just to escape for an hour from some task,
but never like this, never unmissed.

It is one thing to be alone,
but this is so different,
so much deeper is this cave that I have found
not alone, but unmissed.

So poorly have I run my life till now
that twice while leaving my cave
I have been called stalker,
not only alone, but unmissed.

And while there are those who on me depend,
and those for whom my leaving will not be easy,
to the one, who has meant so much to me
i am unmissed.

Perhaps it is my fault for I never told her
how much I missed her when I could not be with her,
perhaps she has known this feeling for some time,
perhaps I made her feel unmissed?

And from my cave I plainly see
that nothing can be said or done
to heal this emptiness for me or her
for to each other we seem unmissed.

And while I struggle to find my way back
to find some small way to touch her heart once more
on my shoulders I bare the burden of my own making
the thoughtlessness which has made me unmissed.