Popular .Ways .to .SNUFF~IT!
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Style | Description | Painful? | Effective? | Comments |
| Sweet and Simple | Gun Shot in Mouth or Temple Area | No (unless you miss) | Yes, survival rate is low | One of the fastest, most reliable
ways to go, popular amongst Men |
| 2's a Crowd | Gun Shot at wife, friend, co-worker, boss, or stranger, AND yourself | Strangely Satisfying | Depends on your Aim | If you attempt this method be sure not to miss Yourself! |
| Suicide by Cop | Brandish a Weapon (car-phone, hairbrush, etc.) at a Police Officer | Pain depends on mood of Cop | Oh Yes | This method is preferred by minorities and others hostile to police or too proud to kill self |
| Suicide by Murder | Get some Compassionate Soul to 'Kevork' You | Varies by Method and Compassion | Usually Works | For cowards who can't get up the nerve or who are afraid of Afterlife Consequences (purgatory) |
| Classic | Razor across Wrists | Some pain at first, then glorious Relief | Not too effective | Many people who try this miss cutting the major wrist Vein (cut Along, Not across) |
| Clinical | Inject a Hypodermic Needle filled with Air into Veins | Just a Pinprick, then some minor heart stoppage |
With alot of Air, quite effective | Painless, Quick, Clean, Effective, what more can I say? |
| How Sweet It Is | Inject a Hypodermic Needle filled with Insulin into a Non-Diabetic Person (you) | Just a Pinprick, then some minor shock |
Effective and Untracable |
Be sure to leave a suicide note or else you Won't be Counted as a cide (thanks Lily) |
| Just Eat It | Injest a Toxic Substance such as Clorox, Aspirin, Lye or other substance (cheeze nachos) | Tummyache, some vomit | Why waste good household Products? | This method is also slow (Do-gooders might try to rescue you) Tolerance Levels vary, so do Substance Effects...Pukeing may Save you |
| Dead Inside | work wor k work work work work work work work work work work work work work | drudge drudge drudge drudge | it Works | this popular method leaves the Body alive but kills the Mind - Soul - Spirit and Creativity |
Style | Description | Painful? | Effective? | Comments |
| the Lemming | Jump off a Building or Bridge | You 'll feel a Thrill and then Faint before you reach Bottom | From a Building, survival is low. Jumping from a Bridge is NOT the way to go | Water, earth and People may break your fall, not your neck. Make sure the Building is at least 15 stories and has a concrete or paved ground. |
| Dash to the Finish | Jump in Front of a moving Car or Train | Yes, I see Pain here | This is for Amateurs | It would be wiser to touch the Third Rail than to try this |
| Singing in the Shower | Oops, I dropped the Hairdryer, Toaster and Radio into the Bathtub! | Shock.....get ready for major Muscle Spasms | Does the Job | Try It, No serious side-effects |
| Death Race 2000 | Get in your Car and Go F-ckin Crazy ! | There is both Pain & Pleasure in Speed | Not a surefire Kill though | Don't Drink and Drive...eeeeeeee |
| the Midnight Special | Park your Car on the Railroad Tracks | You'll never know what hit you | If Parked dead-center, Bulls-eye | Take a Nap while waiting to catch the Red-Eye |
| Idle Time | Park Car in Garage, close all doors, turn on engine, breath Deep the gathering Gloom | getting...drowsy.... very....dro...sigh... | Turn on Radio, no one will bother you | Got Car? Got Garage? gentlemen: start your Engines |
Style | Description | Painful? | Effective? | Comments |
| Weenie Roast | Dowse self with Combustable Fluid and Ignite | Excruciatingly Peaceful | If you fail, you'll wish you were Dead | This is not Popular, but very watchable |
| Blaze`o Glory | Make a Statement: crash Plane into Whitehouse, Kill the President, Turn self into Human Bomb, etc. | Plan on some Pain | Double check the Plan | the only limits are your own Imagination. Make it Big ! |
| Jailhouse Log | The Bedsheet is tied around the top bars of the Cell-door then looped around the Neck | who cares? | what options do you have? | If ^above^ Plan fails |
| More Asphixia | The Plastic Bag is placed over the Head and wrapped around Neck | Some Dizziness | R U Joking? this Method is Lame | There are other forms of Suffacation, none are Recommended |
| Water, water Everywhere... | Jump off a Boat, or Walk into the Sea | Momentary Panic leads to Eternal Bliss | Are there any people around? No..good | the Sea Beckons... Listen ! |
Having Second thoughts?
Just looking for Attention?
What does Purgatory look like?
| The Big Sleep | Swallow as many Barbituates and Booze that you can | Relieves all Pain | Not 100 % Effective | The Number 1 way to Go |
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Farewell My Lovely
Au Revoir Mon Amore
Goodbye Cruel World
