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Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just borrow them occasionally. I got to thinking the other day about the way I ended Impossible Choices and felt I had to write an epilogue, so here it is. It ties up a few loose ends and hopefully closes things off nicely. Oh, it would also help if you've actually read Impossible Choices. Angel Mouse April, 2004.

Impossible Choices :Final Healing
By Angel Mouse

Things had been quiet on the rescue front for the last month for the Tracy family. After Dr Merry had pronounced Scott, John and Gordon fit again Jeff had arranged for Penny to put out another press release, saying that they were back in business. The whole world seemed to have realised that the men of International Rescue were human after all and the calls to International Rescue had been tentative at first. Since that announcement, a month ago, they had attended four rescues of varying degrees of difficulty. Gordon and John had both gone on two of these each - along with Scott and Virgil; but John was now about to go back to Thunderbird Five, where he had half jokingly told Scott he belonged. This would be his first stint alone on the large space station since the attack, and Scott was worried about his brother. He and Virgil had been keeping an eye on John since they had returned home from the hospital all those months ago. And especially since they had begun doing rescues again. They had made sure between all four of his brothers, John was never alone, as that was one of the few fears that had surfaced during one of his long heart wrenching talks he had been having with Scott. A fear he had managed to hide all these years from them all. John had admitted to Scott - after quite a few drinks one night - which he had been afraid that his brothers would die and he'd be left all alone for a very long time. Scott had worked hard over the last few months to help negate that fear, plus a few others, in his brother. John would always have them with him - they all did - but they weren't as bad as they had been. Things had settled down quite a lot and were relatively back to normal, well, as normal as it got on Tracy Island anyway's. A tension that they had never noticed before hanging over the family was now gone and Scott put that down to that they no longer had to fear The Hood. It was a week before John was due to go back to the station and in the last few days, something had been bothering John. Both Scott and Virgil had noticed it, yet he hadn't said anything yet. When they had pressed him, he just shrugged, smiled gently and said that he would be okay. Even their father had noticed something was wrong with John and had asked him if he was okay and happy to be going back to work on Thunderbird Five. John's only answer was to ask if he could take the family jet for a few hours tomorrow, and would it be okay if all his brothers went with him. At first Jeff was hesitant, not wanting to leave International Rescue with no staff, but something in John's eyes made him acquiesce. He knew that if he needed the boys, they could be back in a few hours at the most. So, in an unusual move, he had let John and the three other boys take the jet.

~*~

John was in the pilot's seat of the family jet, his eyes fixed on the sky ahead and the instruments in front of him. It felt good to be flying something again, Scott and Virgil were very possessive of their respective Thunderbird crafts, and he supposed they all were really. Gordon had called shotgun before they had even left the lounge room to head down to the hanger and was currently sitting next to him, chattering away ten to the dozen. The older two had let him have his fun, as they could tell that Gordon's main aim in life at the moment was to make John smile more often than he normally would. After about an hour of Gordon's incessantly bad jokes Scott suddenly realised where they were heading as familiar land masses began to pass below them. He glanced over and Virgil and saw that Virgil had twigged at their destination as well. Scott leaned forward, gently tapping John on the shoulder.
"Excuse me John, but are we going where I think we're going aren't we?"
"Yes, we are." Scott and Virgil exchanged concerned glances, they hadn't expected this. They had been surprised that their father had let them go all at once.
"And that would be because of what?" John turned slightly in his chair and smiled gently at Scott, his eyes still had a slight shadow in them but they weren't as bad as they had been when he had first returned home.
"Because it's the last step in everyone's healing. And I mean everyone's. So sit back and enjoy the ride, I've taken care of everything." John winked at Scott and turned back to his flying. Scott sat back in his seat with a soft sigh. He didn't have a clue what John was planning, but he had the feeling it was perhaps what the four men needed to finally put this whole nightmare behind them all.

An hour later they had landed at the Hobart Airport and had all piled into a hire car. John had skilfully drove along the roads, jokingly saying that he was used to driving on the wrong side due to his time in Australia when he was working on his Astronomy degree a few years ago now. Scott had retorted by saying he'd been doing heaps while they were here a few months ago and they had then degenerated into a lot of good natured teasing of each other about their various driving skills. They were in a good mood when they finally arrived at their destination, the car park near the dam where the rescue took place all those months ago. A figure was waiting for them, leaning against a four wheel drive with a trailer attached, and he greeted them with a large smile. Two four by four bikes were over by the side of the bush, waiting for them. John parked the car and they all piled out. The man walked over to him and they all smiled when they saw it was Tom, the captain of the SES team they had worked with all those months ago.
"G'day everyone. Nice to see you all up and about again." John shook his hand, smiling gently at him.
"Nice to see you as well Tom. Thanks for fixing things for me." Tom smiled at him, glancing at all four of them, more pleased than he could say to see them all healthy and up and about.
"Any time mate. I've marked the trail with yellow ribbon, and once you guys leave I'll remove them. That way, no one but myself will know you've been here today."
"Thanks again Tom, we appreciate it."
"Hey, any time." Tom shook hands with all of them and then moved away to wait for them to return later that day. John led the way over to the bikes and gestured for Scott and Virgil to take one, while Gordon climbed on the behind him. They quickly powered up the bikes and took off into the bush. Scott and Virgil waited a moment and shared a concerned glance.
"Scott, I don't think this is a good idea for him." Virgil didn't want to say he didn't think it was a good idea for him either.
"I don't know Virgil, maybe it's what he needs to finally let go. Maybe it's what we all need to let go." Virgil settled himself on the bike as Scott began to follow John and Gordon.
"Scott, I don't think I want to go back there, that wasn't a particularly pleasant time for me." Scott nodded as he went around a corner. Virgil had told him what he had found and what had happened and if Scott was being honest with himself, he wouldn't look forward to it either.
"I know. But I think we all need to see this."
"Yeah, but what good is that going to do?"
"It's the last thing that John needs to get over Virgil. He needs to do this, and we need to be there for him." Virgil sighed, resting his head against Scott's shoulder, taking comfort in his oldest brother's presence.
"Alright Scott, but I still have reservations." Scott smiled gently as he felt his brother lean against his back. Virgil normally wasn't one for physical displays of affection, but the close quarters of the bike, plus the unease he felt and had been feeling lately had made him all the more affectionate with his brothers. They had all become more affectionate really. Scott supposed that was one good thing that had come out of this whole mess as he concentrated on keeping the bike behind John's and following the yellow ribbons; they had become closer as brothers. Having all five of them at home for almost four months had done them all the world of good as a family, and Scott didn't have any fears any more about the state of his brothers.

~*~

John pulled up at the small clearing near the rocks, turning off the engine and sitting there a moment. Gordon slipped off the back of the bike and looked around, his expression open and curious.
"So this is where it all happened?"
"Yes." John finally slid off the bike as Scott and Virgil pulled up next to him. They got off their bike and walked over to where Gordon was standing by the edge. John hesitated a moment, looking around. It was a beautiful Australian summer's day. Blue sky with a hint of fluffy white clouds over head, a slight summer's breeze rustled the gum leaves gently and the scent of eucalyptus wafted gently over them all, lightening their hearts. Taking a deep breath and gathering his courage, John walked forward and stood next to his brothers. Gordon glanced over at him, curiosity getting the better of him.
"What exactly happened here John; you didn't tell us much about it." John's eyes were fixed on the small amount of dirt and rubble that was at the bottom of the edge of the drop they were standing on. He turned and pointed at the rocks, his brothers turning with him.
"I waited for him there, with the rifle. I shot his rifle out of his hands, destroying it." John's eyes lost focus slightly as he began to recount his fight with The Hood. "I stepped out and we exchanged insults, that sort of thing. And then I told him that no matter what, we'd always beat him, he hadn't managed to kill either you or Scott Gordon and that he'd never, ever win. I think that was the last straw you know, there was just something in his eyes that seemed to break. He came at me, screaming abuse in Chinese I think it was, I'm not sure. We fought then, back and forth. The rain was pounding down and I'm not sure how it happened, but I found myself on the ground with him over me, trying to stab me in the heart with my own knife. I had my hands on his, pushing him away, when the ground gave way and we fell. The next thing I remember is Virgil sitting over me, calling for a helicopter and telling me that I would be okay and I was in heaps of pain. And then the next thing I know, I wake up in hospital with all three of you hovering over me and Gordon in the next bed." John shook his head, bringing his focus back to his brothers. He looked over at Virgil and gave his brother a gentle smile. "I'm sorry for how hard it must have been for you Virgil, when you came and found me. I know you told me not to do anything stupid, but I felt that I'd failed to protect Gordon and Scott like a brother should, and that I couldn't bare it if anything else happened to any one of us. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you at the time."

Virgil had been standing there, listening intently to John's words as he recounted the fight. And then all eyes turned to him but the only ones Virgil was interested in where John's. He held John's in his as John apologised to him and explained his reasoning. Virgil stepped forward and put his hand on John's shoulder, infinitely glad that he could do that, considering how close they had come to loosing him.
"John, you don't have to apologise. Yes, it wasn't pretty when I found you and you scared twenty years off me on the ride to the hospital. But the main thing is that I found you alive and he wasn't. That all three of you healed. That we stayed together as a family, through the worst time we've ever had since Gordon's accident." John's eye's never left Virgil's and he smiled at John. "John, you're very important to this family, and over the last few months we've tried to impart that to you, and I think you've finally understood that no matter what, we'll always be here for you." John nodded, tears beginning to form in the corner of his eyes. Gordon moved over and stood next to John.
"John, what we've been through these last few months is always going to be with us." John turned his head slightly to look at his younger brother. "But I'll always be grateful for the fact that you were there, and you took care of things and took care of me. Took care of all of us." Scott decided that it was now his turn and stepped forward as well, realising that they were all unconsciously herding John away from the edge and bad memories. Scott smiled at John as he came and stood beside Virgil.
"If we didn't know any better John, we'd would have said you were taking over my job as protector and eldest brother." John had to give him a slightly lopsided grin at that, and they all shared a small chuckle as Scott's sometimes over protective nature had given them plenty of ammunition to tease their brother about over the years. "But we want you to know, how proud we are of you. How you handled yourself before, during and after this whole situation. We love you John, and this just made us realise how much." John nodded, taking in his brothers words. He blinked away tears and took a deep breath. It felt like his first free breath in a long time.
"Thank you guys. I really appreciate you coming out here with me. This place will always bring back bad memories, but good ones as well." The three brothers could practically see the change in John. It was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he was finally free of bad memories. His eyes were clear and worry free still, and that was something they were all pleased to see. Laughing suddenly John grinned widely at them all. "Come on guys, I think I've wallowed enough, let's go home." They all laughed with him and as one, turned back to the bikes. Virgil fell into step besides John, throwing a wicked grin at Gordon.
"I call shotgun with John." With that, he gently pushed Gordon out of the way and broke into a run towards the bikes. Laughing, they all took off and sprinted the short distance to the bikes.

~*~

They arrived back at the car park to find Tom waiting for them with a trailer for the bikes. They put the bikes on the trailer and went over to say their goodbyes once more.
"Everything okay now?"
"Yes, thank you Tom. I appreciate the help." Tom just shrugged and smiled gently.
"Hey, least I could do. And speaking of thanks, I have something for you." Tom turned and opened the back of his four wheel drive. He took out a large esky and handed it to them.
"I remember I over heard one of you say that you liked some of our Tassie beers, so I got a few things together for you, to say thanks for the rescue the other month." They all looked at each other, not sure what to say. Finally Scott recovered first and looked at Tom.
"We can't accept this; you've already done so much for us." Tom just grinned.
"I won't have you saying no. So, no arguments. You take it, enjoy it and think of us from time to time." John stepped forward, stopping Scott from protesting again.
"Thank you Tom. You didn't have to but the thought is greatly appreciated."
"Hey, anything for you guys. You've been through the wringer these last few months if I'm any judge of things when you guys left here, so this is the least we can do. Now, off you go. I have the feeling your on borrowed time being here, am I right?" The four brothers exchanged guilty glances and then laughed.
"Yes, you are. Gordon, you and Virgil load this into the car please." The two brothers shook Tom's hand once again and taking the esky, moved to the car. Scott shook Tom's hand goodbye and followed, leaving John behind a moment. Tom looked at the young man, amazed at how well he was looking.
"You okay now mate?" John smiled and held out his hand again.
"Yes, everything's fine now Tom. Thank you." Tom just grinned, shaking his hand again.
"Go on with you. Your brothers are waiting for you." With a smile, John turned and ran to the car, climbing into the passenger seat as Scott had snagged the drivers seat. They left the car park, waving good bye at Tom and headed for the airport.

The flight home was a quiet time for John. Virgil had snagged the controls, with Gordon once more crying shotgun and riding next to him. John smiled as Gordon began to tease Virgil about Thunderbird Two and certain retribution that owed for a certain prank that had been recently played. Shaking his head slightly, John went back to staring out the window at the sea as it passed by, his eyes resting on the clouds and the shapes they made. Suddenly, a hand was put on his shoulder and he turned to find Scott's blue eyes watching his.
"Are you okay?" Scott kept his voice low, so as not to interrupt the others. John smiled at Scott, his eyes clear.
"You know what Scott, for the first time in a while, I think I am." Scott smiled widely, removing his hand and leaning back in his seat.
"I'm glad John, really glad. You've had us all worried you know." John nodded.
"I know. And I'm sorry. But things are better now Scott and they're going to stay that way for a long time."
"Good to hear. Are you going to be right then next week going back to Thunderbird Five?" John nodded, pleased at his brother's concern.
"Yes I'll be fine. Don't worry about me Scott." Scott grinned.
"I can't help it. It's my job as a big brother." The two of them laughed softly and John leaned back in his chair. Yes, he was defiantly lucky to have so many caring and loving brothers. Thinking back over the last few months John finally realised that those memories would always be with him but they no longer haunted him like they had been. Things would be okay from now on. He turned his head away from the clouds and joined in with his brother's easy banter, the shadows of the past no longer haunting him.

The End.