Disclaimer:  Buena Vista's distributing the Power Rangers at the moment, I think.  Starhawk, I'm officially dedicating this series to you, 1. because you liked it so much and 2. because you are writing one of the longest continuing series I've ever seen, not to mention how much I *enjoy* reading it and have been for around six or so years now.

 

*grins*  This series was based upon a rumor I once heard on the internet, years ago, that the identity of the Phantom Ranger was supposedly Shadow, Divatox's son.  While I never placed any store in that rumor, it did intrigue me, and this trilogy came out as a result.  Plus, I always wondered what the Phantom Ranger's mysterious "third message" was, and it resulted in this rather romantic take on it.

 

The Shadow and the Light

by ZeoViolet

Teaser:  How Divatox's son found his way...toward the light.

 

The one known as the Phantom Ranger stood in the shadows that the jungle of Hercuron afforded him.  The pain in his side was nothing compared with the two other types of pain, the emotional ones, that assaulted his senses at the moment.

 

Of course, Divatox had long since departed.  She would be, suspecting him gone.  And why would she care?  She did not know who he really was, and he doubted she would still wanted him alive in any case, not after what he had done, betrayal in the name of justice.

 

The other was the one light in the shadow's world of darkness that enveloped him, surrounded him even as he worked for the side of brightness, of hope.  This one light, pink-hued, had finally given him a purpose for being more than just....just a shadow, a ghost, as his handle truly implied.

 

Shadow.  What a handle his mother had wished upon him.  However, that was truly his name, one he supposed in his younger days he would live up to. 

 

But he had seen the light, seen the brightness in all the dark evil that had surrounded his childhood.  It had caused him to rebel, to run, run toward the service of the light even as his soul remained in the darkness...of lonliness and despair.

 

He had another name, he supposed.  His mother had been adopted, he knew, and her adoptive family always had two names, the common and the secret one.  He barely knew his secret one, Tar'yn, and it was used so seldom he had all but forgotten it.  He was Shadow, and he expected to forever remain Shadow as long as he lived.

 

At least he had supposed that until....*she* came into his life, however on the fringes it seemed.  She came from a little ball of rock and water in a remote corner of the Milky Way Galaxy, from a "technologically sheltered" people.  It had not seemed she would catch his attention, but she had.

 

And when he had first seen her, for the first time in a long time, a ray of light filled his shadowed world.  She walked with an aura about her, an aura of the special light in his life he had always sought, but never could find.

 

Until then.  Until now, even.

 

But the light was *too* bright for a shadowed being like him, he knew.  He had heard her merry laugh, had seen the bright, even sweetly innocent, twinkle in her eyes, a look that had hardly changed except for the maturity she had gained, the type that comes with having ranger experience.  Even now, she was the same sweet, endearing, light-filled person that had invaded his heart to the darkest depths, and warmed it with the brightness that was Cassie Chan.

 

It had seemed too good to be true.  Impossible.  He was the Phantom Ranger.  He had once been evil.  He did not deserve someone as special as she....he was from the shadows.  And even had he been from the light, he doubted he would have the heart to draw her into the dark fringes the Phantom Ranger still occupied, with his dangerous missions of helping worlds in peril.

 

If he lost her, he would be lost.  He would no longer be an ally to the light, or an enemy to the dark side.  For he would not exist.

 

Far better to never expose her to that at all and keep her alive, and keep his own heart livid with pain and longing, than have her dead, especially at his hands.

 

He supposed he could live, seeing her only from a distance, seeing her on the Universal News Syndicate with tears of agony slipping heedlessly down his face, if it would guarantee her safety in the long run.

 

Only a small part of his mind told him that was foolish.  She was a Power Ranger, placing her life in danger at *any* rate.  She could still die.

 

And with her death, that one small ray of light in his heart would be extinguished.  Even if she did not truly feel for him more than friendship, he had fallen in love, and he clung to that one small, bright beam for all it was worth.

 

For it had been the first real love he had ever experienced.  And no doubt his last.

 

His mother had never cared, he reflected as he set up the recording device.  An accidental pregancy, she had often called him on her rantings.  He had no idea who his father was, only some Eltaran drifter, she had said.

 

And still, she had kept him, determined to raise him in her image.  For his first century or so, his life had been pirate raidings, intimidating people, and trying to sitfle his near genetic impulse to ask questions.  His mother never seemed to ask, she just took, gaining her millions of riches solely by thievery.

 

He had not questioned her actions.  He had been raised to believe it normal.  And he followed suit, although he did not understand why people kept telling him he was not evil and brutal enough.  They were after riches, right?  As long as they got them, why waste time hurting the people they took them from?

 

Until that fateful day he saw his first ray of light...the light of truth.  He had suddenly developed empathic powers he supposed came from his father's side of the family, and when he saw the torture his mother was inflicting on some of her victims....he felt their pain.  It had rained down on him, splashing his senses with wave after wave of pain, despair, and desperation.

 

He had managed to make it out of the room before he had screamed in agony.

 

That night, though his mother had strictly forbidden it, he had crept in unnoticed.  He had healed their wounds as best as he could, whispering heartfelt apologies, trying to explain he had not realized....how it had been from a victim's point of view.

 

He had seen the light.

 

He had set them free, he could not bear to have his mother get at them again.  Before they left, one of the victims, an Eltaran had turned to him and looked into his eyes.

 

"You have seen the light, son," he had said with his voice thick with ancient wisdom.  "Leave this place, as soon as you can, before the light of truth and justice gets extinguished from your heart with the blackness of lies and evil."

 

Shadow could only nod, his mouth frozen, as the man whispered one more thanks before he had vanished into the airlock where his ship had awaited.  They had escaped, safe and sound.

 

"I forbid you to leave!" Divatox had screeched when he told her of his intent.  "You are my son, born of my flesh!  You owe me!"

 

"How!" he yelled back, for the first time truly defying her to her face.  "You do not love me, it is a word foreign to you.  You said so yourself, I was an accident, never meant to be born!  Well, this accident is leaving, *Divatox*, and will never darken your doorstep again!"

 

"I will never forgive you!" she yelled to his back as he turned.  "You may walk towards those who claim to be good, filled with light, but your life will always be shadow, always be black!  You will never love, and you will die of lonliness and despair!  Soon you will be ice, and when you come crawling back to me, I will refuse you!  You will always live up to the name--*Shadow*!!!"

 

Even as her only evident answer from him was his firmly departing back--for he had never looked over his shoulder, not once--she most likely had no idea what her words had done to him.  Despite his best intentions, they had stung like fire.

 

And for the most part, had remained with him on his flight to the side of good.  Even there, the name of Shadow had developed a reputation, and he had found it difficult to fit in as people had a hard time accepting him.  The name haunted him, although he never considered changing it.

 

He had managed to make his way to Eltare, hoping to find out who his father was.  He still did not know, but with the mission of the Eltaran Voyagers he had heard about, he had at last seen a way towards acceptance.

 

For being a ranger, forever hiding his identity as he battled evil, who would guess that he had been spawned from the same evil pool?

 

His mother would never guess or know that it was her own weapons fire on him one day during battle a couple of centuries later that had sealed him forever to his ruby, due to radiation.  He doubted, though, if she had known, she would have cared.

 

It suited him in another way, for the Phantom Ranger was well enough associated with shadows, so most, while appreciating and idolizing him for his help, also kept him at arm's distance.  So, his mother's words were ringing true--he was indeed living up to his name of Shadow.  It seemed to suit him most of the time, for he had been raised with feelings kept at a distance.

 

So even as he kept to the light of justice and goodness, his heart remained in the shadows, dormant for the most part, outside of his empathy and compassion that compelled him so.

 

And then, one day, the emptiness in his heart had been replaced by a new warmth, and a new pain, as Cassie Chan walked into the outer fringes of his life.  She still managed to warm his heart like a supergiant sun....and hit him with the worse pain he had ever felt, knowing that surely, he could never have her.

 

How could she feel anything for somebody who kept disappearing, who was like a ghost, seemingly from the outer fringes of reality?  Such a person was fit for being thanked for their help, but keeping people uneasy because he was so...well, so much shadow-walking.

 

How could she feel anything different?  How could he impose himself on someone as pure as she was, who had probably never felt the real sting of the dark side a day in her life?

 

He found it impossible to believe, even as she caused him to feel...*really* feel for the first time; caused him to cry in despair at times, the first time he had cried since babyhood.  His mother had made him turn off his tears as soon as he could talk...with threats of dire punishment if he did not.  He had forgotten how to cry....until he felt the pain that he would feel with love at last....and knowing it was not reciprocated, or possible.

 

Now, as he left his message, and he turned it off, he felt the pain more keenly again of despair, because Cassie had been by his side again...touching him.  For at that moment, he could not stand it.  She had seemed so concered....more than anyone had ever really showed him in a long, long time.  She had not wanted to leave, but he had made her...lest he say something that would make her uncomfortable or hurt....a sight he would not be able to bear.  But if she was worried, he had to reassure her.

 

Impulsively, he flipped the recording device back on.  "I'll be all right, Cassie."  sudden words leaped out of his mouth before he could contain them.  "Please, don't forget me.  I'll see you soon."

 

As soon as he had turned the device back off, he swore.  How could he have said that?  He could not erase it.  Now she would really wonder, and he did not want to deal with a confrontation that would surely destroy him.

 

He managed to stagger to his feet, not noticing as he accidentally brushed the side of the device, turning it back on.  It's recording time was almost up, but there was just enough for it to catch him saying, in utter despair, "Cassie, I love you so much....why can't you love me like I love you?"

 

He left it to automatically click into rewind as he reached for his teleporter button.  Because she had been here, it would remain forever haunted with her sweet, soulful presence.  And since her heart and soul were not his to claim, he could not remain.  It would be far too painful.

 

****

 

The unforgiveably hot winds of Hercuron swirled around her, rufling her long, silky dark hair and blowing it into her large, almond-shaped eyes.  What had brought her here, exactly?  What had made her creep out of the Megaship in the middle of the night and hop on her Galaxy Glider?  The Phantom Ranger was long gone, what footsteps of fate had deemed that she return here?

 

As if posessed, she walked unbidden towards the recording device the Phantom Ranger had left for her and her friends.  Was it because it had belong to him?  Because he had touched it, left the imprint of his essence there?

 

She found it, sinking down on the thick foliage of the dark forest floor with only her flashlight to guide her way.  The proximity sensors on the recording device came on, and it started to repeat the messages she had already heard.  But...just to hear his voice again, the voice of the man who had stolen her heart and soul.  She sometimes wondered how she could ever give her heart to another person...when it was no longer there.  The organ that thumped in her chest had lost all meaning, except as a muscle that kept her alive.  It was no longer her heart, just...an organ.

 

"I knew you'd return, Rangers, but I've left to follow Dark Spectre...."  his cherished tenor voice echoed on the wind as she wrapped her arms around her knees and closed her eyes, feeling tears stinging the backs of her lids.  The light from the flashlight shone on her face, but did not reach and warm up the emptiness that was underneath, the emptiness that had remained there since she had heard the words, "I go where I am needed, and I stay, for as long as I am needed."  Those words had seemed to imply to her that he felt no more than friendship, and perhaps gratefulness, to her for saving his life.  Nothing more, and he walked away, taking all the real light in her life with her. 

 

The light of her heart, her soul, unable to be recovered for her to give to another.

 

All that had been left had been the light she had projected to her friends, as artificial as the flourescent light bulbs in school, bright, but without much warmth.  She still had genuine caring and compassion for all...all but herself.  After all, there must have been something that remained or she could not have been a Power Ranger.  But nothing really substantial. 

 

Her personal light had been extinguished.

 

Only to flare again today, briefly, when they had touched.  She tried not to flinch when the second recording played, the one that had caught her so by surprise, because of his tone.  "I'll be all right, Cassie.  Please, don't forget me...I'll see you soon."

 

If he did not care, then why had he said that?  It simply had to be empty hope on her part as his image blinked out again.  Feeling deflated, she started to rise...and stopped abruptly as the recorder flared to life one more time.

 

She sat in stunned silence as she saw the Phantom Ranger's image of him clutching his side and obviously injured in a way that was now evident he'd tried to hide from them, walk out of recording range, but she heard his voice unmistakably say, in heart-wrenching despair, "Cassie, I love you so much....why can't you love me like I love you?"

 

She had never heard his voice so filled with despair, with pain.  Love!  He loved her?  After all the indifference he had showed...he loved her after all?

 

Was it truly possible he had been hiding feelings, like she had because he had never indicated any before this?  Why?  Had he not known how she felt?  How much she loved him, how hard she had fallen, so hard she knew she could never really love again?

 

As the recording flickered off, she could no longer contain her tears.  She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, burying her face in them as she cried without a sound, the silence pressing in on her from the vast jungle on all sides, making her feel quite the lonliest person in the universe.

 

*I love you too, Phantom, whoever you truly are....*

 

****

 

*Return to Hercuron.*

 

The nagging voice inside of him would not cease, no matter now much he turned the voice aside.

 

*Return to Hercuron.*

 

Louder and louder it had become, this voice of his own mind, and it was driving him nearly crazy on top of all the other mental anguish he was feeling.

 

Why return?  Who would?  Cassie's ghost would be there, nothing more.  The sweet ghost of her presence, the reminder that she would never be his, would be enough, he had little doubt, to drive him over the brink of sanity.

 

*Return to Hercuron!*

 

Fate.  He could suddenly feel it pull it's arms around him, somehow fate had to be involved in this, no matter how much he did not want to return to Hercuron.  He had learned never to ignore his instinct when it came to duty...something had to be wrong, or he had left something on Hercuron....he did not know.

 

Finally, just to silence the voice, he ordered the computer to turn his ship around.  The beacon he had set out would continue to track Zordon while he was gone.

 

****

 

He materialzed to near-solid darkness. Of course, it was the middle of the night, and he would not be able to see much.  So what?  His life was darkness....

 

Then what was that light in the distance?

 

Silently as stealth, he moved towards the clearing that had been where he left the recording device.  He stopped a short distance away, stunned, as he suddenly sensed those dark chambers of his heart flare to life, and tears sting his eyes.

 

*Is it possible for a ghost to cause such a reaction?*

 

The thought was unbidden, but true, especially with a shadowy essence of the person he loved beyond all reason was huddled on the ground, crying!

 

His heart gave a sharp lurch, for surely it had to be an apparition.  Cassie was eons away, safe on the Megaship!  Why would she be here, alone?

 

Suddenly the apparition stilled, stopped shaking, and lifted "her" head.  Her tears glittered brightly on her face from the flashlight as she stood up quickly and looked about her.  "Who's there?" she asked in a quivering tone that tried, unsuccessfully, to be brave.

 

It came as a sudden shock to him as he clearly sensed how upset she was.  This was no apparition, it was the real thing!

 

"Who's there?  Phantom?" she demanded.  "I can sense you there..."

 

He could not let that slide.  He was in invisible mode, and in the shadows, but he could not allow her to be frightened so.

 

"Cassie...Cassie, do not be afraid.  I am here," he said softly, letting the sheilding fall away so she saw him.

 

"Ph-phantom?" she asked, incredulous.  "What...what are you doing here?  Why did you return?"

 

"I could ask the same of you," he said softly, allowing amusement to enter his tone as to not frighten her.

 

"Did you....forget something?" she asked, holding up the device.  The sudden misery returned to her face, and it stabbed into his chest darker than the blackest shadow of pain.

 

"Why do you cry, Cassie?" he asked softly, unable to bear her anguish.

 

"Don't you know?" she asked, and she sounded bitter, making him feel even worse.  She held up the device and let it play the third message over again.  "I love you so much, Cassie....why can't you love me like I love you?"

 

She saw him stiffen as he realized what he had done, and almost felt his horrified comprehension.

 

"I...I never meant to have you hear that...." he whispered, too miserable to say anything else.  What she had to be thinking of him now....

 

"Why?" she almost demanded.  "Is it true, what you said?"

 

Behind his helmet, he closed his eyes, feeling her intense pain....and hurt?  Something else  he dared not identify?  "Yes," he whispered.  "More than you could ever, ever comprehend."

 

Sudden anger blazed forth from her before she could stop it.  "More than I could comprehend?  Phantom, did you have any idea...*any* at *all*....that I might feel the same way?"

 

His head snapped up at that.  *She felt the same way....* his uncomprehending mind repeated, stunned.

 

"Cassie?" he asked, unable to push aside a sudden flare of hope, however small.

 

"Why did you return?" she whispered miserably.

 

"I...I was compelled to..." he stumbled, turning away for a moment and not sure why he was telling her this.  "I...do not know why...."

 

"So was I," she murmured, wiping at her face.  "I left in the middle of the night, and came here for reasons I cannot explain...and I heard this.  Phantom....please be truthful to me."

 

He whirled to face her.  "I have never been untruthful to you."

 

"Then why didn't you tell me how you felt?  I love you!  I've been miserable all these months because I felt I was loving nothing more than...well, a ghost ranger.  One who could not  possibly feel for me what I felt for him, he who stole my heart and soul, the one I will love until the day I die. Who *are* you?"

 

He was stunned by her declaring words, and it took him a moment to comprehend what she said.  "I...I thought you could not love...someone like me," he murmured.  "I am from the shadows, Cassie...I do not deserve you."

 

Her eyes flashed again, but also filled with pain.  "Who are you to decide that?" she whispered, her tone soft now, and her lips trembling.  Unbidden, he could not stop himself from reaching out to touch her face gently.  "Please....Phantom....if you truly care for me...let me see the face behind the mask."

 

Her heartfelt plea was more than he could stand, and he felt his armor melt away.  His hand suddenly scorched at the touch of her soft skin against his palm, and she suddenly found herself staring up into dazzling green eyes, of the most unsual hue of green she had ever seen...a shade of green that had no name, just like the character in front of her.  Framing those eyes was wavy dark hair as black as her own, and the handsomest face she had ever seen....but those eyes were more miserable than she had ever before encountered on a person in her life. 

 

And also glowing out of them was the strongest waves of love she had ever encountered.  The deep, all-encompassing kind, the kind that made her heart--yes, her *heart*, absent for so long--flare in response, and her heart and own love was in her eyes, she knew.

 

Tenatively, afraid he'd disappear, she reached up, her skin burning as she touched his face, assuring herself he was real.  "Who are you?" she whispered.  "Why do you affect me so?"

 

"Must you have my name?" he whispered.  "If I give it to you, I will be lost to you forever...and I do not deserve you.  I do not deserve anyone."

 

"Why?" she asked, her eyes imploring him.

 

"Because of who I am, where I am from.  I do not deserve your love, Cassie.  Your love is deserved by those who have walked in the light all their life...not by someone whose life has been in the shadows, always in the shadows, like me."  His voice broke upon this confession, but it was true. It had to be.  He had never felt differently.

 

She knew there was much more to his anguished words than was apparent.  "Who has done this to you, to give you such a twisted notion of yourself?" she had to say.  "You are not below me, Phantom.  You fight for justice, like me.  You fight on the side of good."

 

"That changes little," he whispered, knowing what he was about to tell her would drive her away.  "It is my past that will forever haunt me, Cassie.  Look at me carefully.  Do you see any resemblence to anybody you know...who inspires fear?"

 

A puzzled look came onto her face as she studied his handsome features, the chisled nose, the firm jaw, the black hair.  She was not sure what he meant....until unbidden, an image of Divatox came to mind. 

 

He had to be telepathic to tell her something like this!  "Divatox...?" she repeated what she heard him mentally crying out.  "She is your...mother?"

 

"Yes!" he choked miserably, removing his hand from her face and tears of anguish filling his eyes.  "That demon of a woman spawned me!  I am from the same bed of filth she wallows in--now do you understand why I do not deserve you?  You are light, I am shadow.  In fact, that is my given name from that woman--Shadow!  I have no other I deserve to be called!"

 

She was shocked, all right, but not for reasons he'd expect.  He thought she would turn away from him just because he came from a different background?  But he was good, and that was what mattered.  It did not bother her, and she had to make him see this.

 

"Shadow!" she caught his hands before he could fully get away from her, and he instantly froze at her touch.  She pulled him back around to face her--and saw the tears of complete anguish streaming down his face.  Gods, he had been *that* certian she would flatly reject him upon hearing his story?

 

She gripped the sleeves of his black tunic, determined to get through to him somehow.  She would not let him leave like this.  Strangely, he stopped struggling when she pulled him as close to her as she dared--and turned her face upwards, pressing her lips to his.

 

He stilled completely, as if frozen in shock.  For a moment, neither moved--until, with an unyeilding, desperate hunger born of pain and love, he responded, slowly sliding his arms around her and crushing her slight body to his as his lips started to yeild to hers, covering her mouth with his in a searing wave of fire that ran the course of his body in the blink of an eye.

 

His heart began to race a million beats a minute.  The first searing touch of her lips had erased his thoughts of his unworthiness as lava-rich sensations overwhelmed him to feel her exotic, soft mouth benath his.  His firmly chisled lips urged hers apart, desperately seeking what had been denied him so long.  Her own tongue sought entry into his mouth, and he surrendured completely to his whirling, frantic emotions.

 

Blood pounded in her ears, but at last she knew she had reached him.  Truly reached him.  Her lungs were bursting with heat and the need for air, but she did not want to break off the searing sensations of his mouth melded to hers.

 

Eventually, though, she had to, gasping for air as she laid her head on his shoulder, and she felt his trembling arms relax their grip, as he clung to something more precious to him than even the ruby that sustained his life.  He could not live without his life, or the light she cast into his heart, no longer.  He was hers, and whatever she wished, he would do.  If she told him to go jump off a bridge, he would do it.  His feelings, his unworthiness, were not the issue...if she felt that way.

 

She suddenly lifted her head, and he stared into her tear-filled eyes.  "Now do you understand?" she pleaded softly.  "I love *you*, Shadow, *you*.  I don't care where you came from, who your mother is.   You are *you*, Shadow, and that is what I love."

 

"Before I became a ranger, I was a space pirate alongside her, until I understood what I was doing was wrong," he said softly, stroking her damp face.  "Is that the kind of person you want to love, Cassie?"

 

"Do you consider yourself as having an evil soul?"

 

"No, but I have always walked the shadows."

 

"But you are not evil, Shadow.  You are truly good, and I can see the light that emanates from you, no matter where you came from.  That is what matters, Shadow.  What's in *here*," she whispered as she laid a hand on his chest, over where his heart lay.  "Will you trust me?"

 

Still stunned slightly, he stared into his eyes, hardly daring to believe this was happening to him, that she was accepting him for who he was, who he had been.  But looking into her eyes...he allowed it to reassure him, to give him hope that his life need not be empty of light after all.

 

"Yes," he whispered finally.  "I...trust you, Cassie.  I do."  He leaned down and kissed her suddenly, as if sealing something between them.  "And I never want to leave your side again."

 

"You don't have to, if you don't want to," she said.  "There is just one thing."

 

"What is that?"

 

"Is Shadow your only name?"

 

For the first time in years, he smiled a real smile.  "I was given two names, but it was a tradition in my mother's adopted family to only use one.  She wished on me that abominable handle of Shadow....my other name is Tar'yn.  I had almost forgotten it until now, since I never used it."

 

"Shadow is a name for a person who bumps around in the dark," she said with a grin.  "Do you wish to be called that--or Tar'yn?"

 

He held onto her tightly.  "As long as I am with you, you are the light of my life, my love," he confessed.  "And as such, I need not walk in shadow.  If I can get used to it, I'd much prefer to be called Tar'yn."

 

"Then Tar'yn it shall be," she laughed musically, endearing him to her even more.  He kissed her once more, the laughter stilling and the shadows fading completely as the sun came up over the horizon, filling the entire clearing with light to shine brightly on the two lost, lonely souls that had finally found each other to light the other's way.