Yo momma is like a gas station...she's open all night and you have to pay before you pump!
Yo momma is like a taffy apple, she's got nuts, sticky, and she only costs a dollar!
Yo momma is like Midas Mufflers, you don't pay a lot but you get a lot!
Yo momma is like a cockpit...there's a pilot inside her all day!
Yo momma is like a double barreled shotgun...two cocks and she's ready to blow.
Yo momma is like a Goodyear tire...black, round, and either way there's a hole on top or bottom.
Yo momma is like a lightswitch...every finger turns her on!
Yo momma is like a mini mart...open 24 hours a day.
Yo momma is like a squirrel...she's always got a nut in her mouth.
Yo momma is like a toliet...big, white, and smells like shit.
Yo momma is like crap...not much good for it.
Yo momma is like school on Saturday...no class!
Yo momma so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
Yo momma so lazy if she was dying of thirst and there was a drinking fountain 5 feet away, she'd die of thirst!
Yo momma so nasty she gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
Yo momma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.
Yo momma so nasty she made Right Guard turn left.
Yo momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave.
Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo momma so nasty that her crap is glad to escape.
Yo momma so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off.
Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo momma so nasty lice considers her a great vacation place.
Yo momma so nasty she was declared quarentine since before she was born.
Yo momma so nasty she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease and Yo momma.
Yo momma so nasty her teeth look like she got jumped by the Cavity Creeps!
Yo momma so nasty she has two pussys and they both stink.
Yo momma so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea.
Yo momma so nasty skunks run from her.
Yo momma so nasty she put on Secret deoderant and it told on her.
Yo momma so nasty she uses Drano to douche.
Yo momma so nasty she is the breeding ground of some of the great flea circus performers.
Yo momma so nasty even Vader won't sleep with her!
Yo momma so nasty that after sitting on her lap you go to get up and you stick.
Yo momma so nasty she farts mustard gas.
Yo momma so nasty she got sour dough yeast infection.
Yo momma so nasty she was starvin' to death so she ate herself out.
Yo momma so nasty the only difference between her and Wayne Gretsky, is Gretsky showers after three periods.
Yo momma so nasty when she farts on an airplane, the oxygen mask fall down.
Yo momma so nasty when she walks pass the toilet, it flushes by itself!
Yo momma nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers!
Yo momma nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut.
Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.
Yo momma so poor you go out for sunday pushes of the skateboard.
Yo momma so poor she married at 12 just so she could get the rice.
Yo momma so poor I walked into her house and a cockroach tripped me and a rat stole my wallet!
Yo momma so poor when I went to her house and stepped on a cigarette butt, she yelled "Who turned off the heat!!"
Yo momma so poor I went over to her house and sat on the couch and the cockroaches told me, "Scoot over! We pay half the rent!"
Yo momma so poor she lives in a two story Dorito bag.
Yo momma so poor when I walked into her house and lit a cigarette, she yelled "Stomp your feet, clap your hands, praise the lord we have heat!"
Yo momma so poor when I walked into her house, opened the frige door, and on the top shelf were 5 cockroaches holding hands singing "We Are Family".
Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers license!
Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
Yo momma so short she can play handball on the curb.
Yo momma so short she does backflips under the bed.
Yo momma so short she models for trophys.
Yo momma so short she is the original Q-tip.
Yo momma so short she poll vaults with a toothpick.
Yo momma so short she strips for G.I. Joes.
Yo momma so short she wore a mini-skirt and got the hem dirty!
Yo momma so short she carries a sign that says, "Don't spit. I can't swim!"
Yo momma so short she hasts stand on a milk crate just to get on the bus!
Yo momma so short she uses a bagel for a toilet seat.
Yo momma so short when she sat on the curb, her feet dangled.
Yo momma so skinny she hula hoops with a Cheerio.
Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.
Yo momma so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.
Yo momma so skinny she has to make knots on her panty hose so that her knees can be seen.
Yo momma so skinny she uses suspenders for panties.
Yo momma so skinny she gotta run around in the shower to get wet.
Yo momma so skinny she fell off the side of the bed that was against the wall!
Yo Momma so skinny she has to jump around in the shower to get wet.
Yo momma so skinny I gave her a piece of popcorn and she went into a coma.
Yo momma so skinny when she swallowed a marble, she was nine months pregnant!
Yo momma so skinny whenever she has to sneeze, her pants start whisling.
Yo momma so slutty she could suck-start a Harley!
Yo momma so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
Yo momma so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
Yo momma so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs".
Yo momma so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
Yo momma so slutty she had her own "Hands Across Her Ass" charity drive.
Yo momma so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
Yo momma so slutty I banged her and I's a chick!
Yo momma so slutty she blind and seeing another man.
Yo momma so slutty John Holmes just looked at her and got AIDS.
Yo momma so slutty she is known as Homecomming Disease.
Yo momma so slutty she has Trojan written on her gumline.
Yo momma so slutty the only difference between your mom and a 747 is that not everyone has ridden in a 747.
Yo momma so slutty she swims after troop ships!
Yo momma so slutty that she butters her toast with her underware.
Yo momma so slutty "A Dime a Dozen" is her business quote.
Yo momma so slutty her anthem is "Home of the Easy"!!
Yo momma so slutty her nickname is peanut butter cause she is easy to spread.
Yo momma so slutty her nickname's "da cockpit"!
Yo momma so slutty she wears knee-pads and yells "Curb Service!"
Yo momma so slutty that I could have been your daddy but the dog beat me up the stairs!
Yo momma so small she can hang glide with a Dorito!
Yo momma so small she can do push-ups under a door!
Yo momma so small she has to climb over speed bumps!
Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
Yo momma so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.
Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.
Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo momma so stupid she she thought the last supper was when you run out of food stamps.
Yo momma so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.
Yo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course.
Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book.
Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.
Yo momma so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler"
Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24 hour virus.
Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg.
Yo momma so stupid she has to ask for help to use hamburger helper.
Yo momma so stupid she went to Disney World and saw a sign that said "Disney World Left" so she went home.
Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "Guess" so she said Levi's.
Yo momma so stupid she went to Alpha Beta and asked to buy a vowel.
Yo momma so stupid she gave your uncle a blowjob cause he said it would help with his unemployment.
Yo momma so stupid she called the cocaine hotline to order some.
Yo momma so stupid she tried to commit suicide and jumped off the curb.
Yo momma so stupid she went to see the movie "Juice" and took a cup.
Yo momma so stupid that when she was swimming in a pool and it started to rain, she ducked under the water to avoid getting wet!
Yo momma so stupid when I asked her to spell farm, she said E-I-E-I-O.
Yo momma so stupid she thought a Cheerio was a dounut seed!
Yo momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car!
Yo momma so stupid she tried running across the rainbow!
Yo momma so stupid she though OldeEnglish 800 was a college course!
Yo momma so stupid she though Reebok was a middle name!
Yo momma so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side!
Yo momma so stupid she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate.
Yo momma so stupid she has one toe, and bought a pair of flip flops.
Yo momma so stupid she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk".
Yo momma so stupid when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the "Any" key.
Yo momma so stupid she thought 2Pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
Yo momma so stupid when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said "Cherry or Grape?"
Yo momma so stupid she thought St. Ides was a Catholic church.
Yo momma so stupid she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
Yo momma so stupid she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!"
Yo momma so stupid she tried to drown a fish.
Yo momma so stupid if you gave her a penny for her intelligence, you'd get change.
Yo momma so stupid they had to burn down the school to get her out of first grade.
Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo momma so stupid she thinks socialism means partying.
Yo momma so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone.
Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo momma so stupid at the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" she put "Sagittarius."
Yo momma so stupid she asked for a price check at the dollar store.
Yo momma so stupid if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
Yo momma so stupid she stands up on an empty bus.
Yo momma so stupid she studied for a blood test and failed.
Yo momma so stupid she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
Yo momma so stupid when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
Yo momma so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
Yo momma so stupid she ordered a cheeseburger from McDonald's and said, "Hold the cheese".
Yo momma so stupid when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo momma so stupid she peels M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies.
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.
Yo momma so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
Yo momma so tall she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
Yo momma so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
Yo momma so tall she did a cart-wheel and drop-kicked Jesus.
Yo momma teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!
Yo momma teeth are so yellow she spits butter!
Yo momma teeth are so yellow I can't believe it's not butter.
Yo momma teeth so yellow she squeezes them to make lemonade.
Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!
Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!
Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma so ugly the NHL banned her for life.
Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo momma so ugly your dad's breath smells like shit because he would rather kiss her ass.
Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.
Yo momma so ugly the tide wouldn't even take her out.
Yo momma so ugly that her mother realized that beastiality can have some serious drawbacks.
Yo momma so ugly she has little round marks all over her body from people touching her with 10-foot poles.
Yo momma so ugly when she was born the windows of her incubator were tinted.
Yo momma so ugly when she was born, GOD admitted that even HE could make a mistake!
Yo momma so ugly she could scare a hungry wolf off a meat truck.
Yo momma so ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road.
Yo momma so ugly it looks like her face caught fire and they put it out with an ice pick!
Yo momma so ugly that when she goes to a haunted house she comes out with a job application.
Yo momma so ugly she'd scare a buzzard off a gut wagon.
Yo momma so ugly they threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
Yo momma so ugly when she was born, the doctor took her and told her mother: "Mam, if this doesn't start to cry in 10 seconds, it was a tumor".
Yo momma so ugly when she was born, the doctor threw her against the ceiling and told her mother: "if it doesn't come back, it's a bat".
Yo momma so ugly when you look up "ugly" in the dictionary it has her picture.
Yo momma so ugly her mother used to put rubber bands on her ears, so people would think the girl was wearing a mask.
Yo momma so ugly when she was a baby her mother used to feed her with a slingshot.
Yo momma so ugly she wasn't beaten with an ugly stick...the whole forest fell on her.
Yo momma so ugly when she was born, her father had to breast feed her...with one arm.
Yo momma so ugly when she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.
Yo momma so ugly she had a face that would sink a thousand ships.
Yo momma so ugly even ALIEN facehuggers run away from her!
Yo momma so ugly that when she fell out of the ugly tree she hit every branch on the way down.
Yo momma so ugly she couldn't get laid in a prison with a fist full of pardons!
Yo momma so ugly when she went to jump in the lake, the lake jumped back!
Yo momma so ugly "you could throw her in the ce-ment pond and skim ugly for two weeks..."
Yo momma so ugly that when she came into the room, the mice jumped up on the chairs.
Yo momma so ugly they only wanted her feet for the freak show.
Yo momma so ugly she looks like she's been bobbing for french fries!
Yo momma so ugly it looks like she sleeps on a bed of nails, FACE DOWN!
Yo momma so ugly you could tell the face, only 'cuz it had ears.
Yo momma so ugly she's the cover girl for iodine.
Yo momma so ugly that when I took her to the zoo the man at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back".
Yo momma so ugly she had to sneak up on a glass of water.
Yo momma so ugly she has to sneak up on a huricane to catch a breeze.
Yo momma so ugly she must have been shot with the ugly gun at point blank range!
Yo momma so ugly when she was a baby, her parents had a little yellow sign in their car window that read: THING ON BOARD.
Yo momma so ugly when she was born the Doctor looked at her ass and her face and said: "My God, siamese twins!"
Yo momma so ugly I wouldn't fuck her with a stolen dick.
Yo momma so ugly her complexion makes the moon's surface look smooth as a cue ball!
Yo momma so ugly she just got a job at the airport, sniffing for drugs.
Yo momma so ugly that she went into a Haunted House and came out with a job application.
Yo momma so ugly I've seen cowpies I'd rather do it with.
Yo momma so ugly the freakshows won't take her.
Yo momma so ugly in her yearbook picture there is a picture of a paper bag.
Oh my God, you have no freaking clue how long it took to finally finish this area. I mean, look how damn long it takes to get to the bottom of the page! Anyway, I don't think I'll be updating this anytime soon.