To use the chart: keep track of your points with a little piece of paper or something, we're lazy and don't like to do your adding for you. There will be new categories in bold. If you answer no to the emboldened category, commence to the next bold category. Otherwise, continue underneath the bold category with the other sub-options. As you answer questions affirmatively, note the points you earn/lose.
| Do you cry? | +5 points | Crying is a big part of being emo. |
| Have you ever cried at an emo show? | +1 point | |
| Have you ever cried while listening to emo in a non-live setting | +2 points | |
| Do you have a significant other? | -3 poinst | If you have a significant other, why should you be sad? |
| Have you had a relationship end painfully within the past 3 months? | +2 points | You have extra reason to be sad. |
| Do you write poetry? | +3 points | |
| Is it poorly written, or often about girls, death, depression, or 'generalized teenage angst'? | +1 point | |
| Do you drink coffee? | +1 point | |
| Is it black? (no sugar, no cream) | +1 point | |
| Does it have cream or sugar or both? | -1 point | |
| Are you currently in high school? | +2 point | |
| Are you living without parents while under the age of 18? | +5 points | Living on your own is very emo. |
| Do you play an instrument? | No points. Category opener. | |
| Do you play guitar or bass or keyboard? | +1 point | |
| Do you play an instrument other than guitar/bass/drums/keyboard/'exotic' instrument? | -1 point | |
| Do you play in the school band? | -2 points | |
| Do you play an exotic instrument? | +2 points | Glockenspiel is exotic, clarinet is not. |
| Do you wear sweaters? | +2 points | Sweaters are an emo-fashion staple. |
| Are they tight? | +1 point | |
| Are they used? | +1 point | |
| Are they brightly colored? | -2 points | Bright colors are not emo. |
| Are they gray/dark(navy)blue/black/brown? | +1 point | |
| Do you wear black, brown or grey hoodies? (hooded sweatshirts) | +1 point | |
| Are they 'fuzzy' (fleece, for example) | -2 points | |
| Do you wear button down shirts? | +1 point | |
| Are they too small for you? | +1 point | |
| Do you button them all the way? | +2 points | Impeding breathing for fashion is very emo. |
| Are they threadbare or ripped? | +1 point | |
| Do you wear threadbare or too-small t-shirts? | +1 | |
| Do they have random slogans on them? | +1 point | |
| Are they from old heavy metal bands? (AC/DC, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath) | +2 points | Emokids love kitsch, apparently. |
| Do you wear too small pants? | +1 point | |
| Are they 'heavy'? (thick fabric, as opposed to thin) | +1 point | |
| Are they faded or ripped? | +1 point | |
| Do you wear things on your feet? | No points. Category opener. | |
| Do you wear Chuck's? | +2 points | |
| Do you wear low-top, oldschool Vans? | +1 point | |
| Do you wear Docs? | -2 points | Those are for skinheads, silly! |
| Do you wear Nike's, Reeboks or other athletic shoes? | -5 points | |
| Do you have and use a messenger bag? | +1 point | |
| Is it authentic? | +1 point | |
| Is it black? | +1 point | |
| Do you keep a diary/notebook? | +2 points | You need somewhere to keep your angst. |
| Is it marblebound? | +1 point | |
| Does it have stickers? | +1 point | |
| Is it stolen or had its use reassigned? | +2 points | School notebooks which became diarys count. |
| Do you wear glasses | +1 point | |
| Do you wear them even though you don't have to? | +1 point | |
| Do they have thick, black frames or horn-rims? | +2 points | |
| Are you bald? | -3 points, unless you have big glasses, then +2 | Skinheads aren't emo! (There are exceptions, like Dick in High Fidelity as xm pointed out to me) |
| Do you have hair? | No points. Category Opener. | |
| Is it short? | +1 point (+2 points for girls) | |
| Is it black? | +1 point | |
| Is it artificially colored? (bright red, blue, green, etc) | -1 point | |
| Is it greasy or dirty? | +1 point | |
| Guys: Do you have long hair? | No points. | |
| Do you wear it in a ponytail? | -2 points | |
| Is it shaggy and unkempt? | +1 point | |
| Do you wear makeup? | No points. | |
| Are you female? | -2 points | |
| Are you male? | -5 points |
Add up your points. The more you have, the more emo you are!
