by Jeremy ?

Suzi and I met on Sunday, June 8 (97) so we could redo her old interview which had some stuff in it she wanted to clarify and to talk about some new stuff going on. I drove down from Joshua Tree to do some interviews and take care of biz in L.A. and we didn't meet 'til after one a.m. and didn't start on this interview until about 4 a.m. so we were both pretty loopy. We met in a gorgeous house in the Hollywood Hills and alternated between sitting side by side on our laptops in the kitchen and going outside to the front or back patios to smoke cigarettes and look at the views of the city.

JEREMY - Suzi!

SUZI - Jeremy!

JEREMY - Tell me about life.

SUZI - Well, I'm looking forward to going to Europe because for the past few months we've been in the U.S. and every time we pull into a gas station we see the same snacks and we're really sick of looking at the same junk food. The whole band is looking forward to Europe so we can choose between some different snacks.

JEREMY - I have a theory...

SUZI - What's that?

JEREMY - My theory is this: the east coast has better junk food than the west coast. Fact or fiction?

SUZI - Fact. The east coast has Drakes and moon pies, not that I eat those but they look good on the shelf... I got some GREAT caramel corn in Pennsylvania

JEREMY - Yoo Hoo, many of my friends from California didn't know of Yoo Hoo til recently. I was weaned on it back east. I see it here now though.

SUZI - I think moon pies have made it out here, too... but here's the thing... too many Lays products. I do have a concern for going overseas which is the lowfat junk food issue because there are a lot of lowfat or nonfat snacks which L7 has been getting into, like the baked chips vs. fried.

[ we're both cracking up at this point as it's getting VERY serious and very late]

JEREMY - How far are we going to take this junk food thing?

SUZI - I think we've already run it into the ground! It's dead already so let's beat it a little more...

JEREMY - Cool - so I think it's a conspiracy.

SUZI - What's that?

JEREMY - The pricing. I've seen these bags at 7-11 of Doritos for THREE NINETY-NINE! For a goddam bag of chips??

SUZI - OK, I can go with this... the snacks in the convenience stores? Arm and a leg.

JEREMY - But the prices are printed right on the bag, you think they have different price stamps for the different markets?

SUZI - I do. I do because I was buying some Snackwells - as long as we're name dropping here - Snackwell cookies and some other Snackwell treats... cheap at the supermarket. Gas station and convenience mart prices are just ridiculous.

[ Long pause. Silence. Hissing of the tape while we look at each other... ]

JEREMY - I've noticed the Dorito's with the $3.99 price tag...

[ We crack up for about three minutes. Guess you had to be there. ]

SUZI - Yeh?

JEREMY - They have the celebrity deal going - Michael Jordan flyin' through the air, whatever. I think they're trying to make up for a hundred and twenty million dollar chip endorsement.

SUZI - You're payin' baby. Payin' for Michael Jordon's face on a bag. Meanwhile you're so monosodium glutamate out that you have no idea. Just some more Pablum for the masses.

JEREMY - I eat at this restaurant a lot, Asian...

SUZI - They're the worst for MSG

JEREMY - Exactly - so I tell em every time no MSG and they know me well enuf they... well anyhow there must've been a double dose cuz I was soooo spaced out, Fellini film spacy. That's why the big debate whether I was gonna come or not wasn't cuz I was tired but cuz I felt like I was on drugs. I had a one of those cool, weird coincidences today.

SUZI - Do tell

JEREMY - I was looking through a box of junk earlier today and saw a roll of tums and even though I felt totally fine at the time I stuck it in my pocket for some reason. No idea why. Then after the meal it was like, synchronicity. Saved my ass. Yours too, prolly.

SUZI - Why's that?

JEREMY - MAJOR, NASTY MSG FARTS. I was scaring myself. Allergies, I can't even smell and it still fried my nose hairs.

SUZI - Let's not go there. Me on the last tour in the van, there were some tremendous smells going on. Get the matches, that's all I can say.

JEREMY - Do we have to clear this section with any p.r. people?

SUZI - Uhhh, no... P.R. people get gas, too.

JEREMY - I broke my hands in this motorcycle accident a buncha years ago and this couple, two character actors invited me to move in with them since I couldn't take care of myself. Anyhow, the husband cut farts that were otherworldly, they sounded like explosions - they actually made a “boom” sort of sound, I don't know how he did it. He ended up playing the Wart hog or whatever on the Lion King, the one that farts all the time. Typecasting.

SUZI - My old boyfriend told me once in relation to one of my farts quote “that was the loudest fart I have ever heard”

JEREMY - Cool!

SUZI - I'm very proud. Thank you.

JEREMY - Louise denies she ever farts but I'll tell ya' my eyes start watering sometimes for no apparent reason.

SUZI - She doesn't fart, she poots.

JEREMY - Poot, where did I hear that? Oprah, Oprah was speaking of poots.

SUZI - I'll bet she farts.

JEREMY - I'll bet she does! Who has better farts - Oprah, Roseanne Barr or the fat guy from the Blues Travelers?

SUZI - I don't know but just the image of Roseanne farts paints an ugly picture in my head. I want it out.

JEREMY - Speaking of music...

SUZI - Smooth seque

JEREMY - You liked that, eh? I was over at Aron's Records - aren't they the best record store?

SUZI - They really are. Tower's cool - they have our new album in their listening stations so they're cool with me. We'd like to do an in-store at Aron's, they're very cool.

JEREMY - There were a few used L7 records in used section at Aron's and I picked em up and listened to your records for a few days and I think you'll be very proud of me.

SUZI - Why's that?

JEREMY - Cuz not only L7, but the whole genre of loud, punk, heavy stuff that I never listen to, that I never learned to appreciate outside of the old punk clubs in Ny when I was a kid...

SUZI - Yeh? Yeh?

JEREMY - I GOT IT!

SUZI - You did?

JEREMY - Completely! I was driving from LA back to joshua tree and everyone was driving slow in the fast lane and I was just pissed, traffic, assholes... and that song came on

SUZI - Which one?

JEREMY - AH-EE-AH-EE

SUZI - “I Need” ?

JEREMY - YEH! I was pounding on the steering wheel, if I had any hair it would've been flying around and I was like THIS IS IT! When I'm pissed off, stuck in traffic, driving angry, this is my music! I was very proud of myself. It was an enlightenment - a revelation.

SUZI - That's funny cuz when we're recording we listen to the days work when we're driving, on the way home from the studio in the car and a lot of times when we listen to the work we did we think “is it good to listen to in the car?” And to me that's a big judge of if it rocks. Can you rock in the car to it.

JEREMY - The car litmus test. So you're going to Europe for awhile. Favorite cities? Ones you haven't been to that you wanna?

SUZI - There are places in Asia that I haven't been to yet that I'd like to see. There are places I'd like to repeat like Prague. I'd like to play there again - the fans were just eager for music they were really appreciative and I'd like to have a few days off to walk around because it's so beautiful. We're going to Portugal this year, we'll be there for a whole 24 hours.

JEREMY - Any word on junk food in Portugal?

SUZI - We'll haveta find out

JEREMY - I expect a full report. What cities do you go “YEH! I'm so glad we're about to land in_______?”

SUZI - I like London a lot, I like to go shopping there and hanging out there. They've got good crisps. People hate the food there, but I like bad food. I like Austin, I like NYC, I like Seattle and ummmm.... Glasgow and Edinborough Scotland cuz they're pretty and all the cities of Australia. Japan is goofy, I like Japan.

JEREMY - Top three things you go YEH - we're landing in ________ so we can go to ______. Like London - so you can go to Harrods or NY so you can go to Zabars... top three?

SUZI - I can't wait to get to NY so we can stay at the Paramount so I can walk a half a block up and get a slice and then go see my friends there. Then I get in a cab and they drive so crazy I've got my hands over my eyes and I peek out and think “weeeeee - I'm a can and I'm in NY!”

JEREMY - I think everybody does that

SUZI - I can't wait to get to Austin cuz I'm gonna see a buncha friends who'll be glad to see me and I know we'll go to Stump's to get BBQ and we're gonna hang out and talk all nite and I'll be exhausted and I'll get mosquito bites if it's summertime. We'll probably play some really sweaty, rowdy loud rock show.

JEREMY - Ever play Montreal? I love Montreal

SUZI - Yeh - it's reeeeaaaly pretty there. Toronto is really pretty, too.

JEREMY - I always associate Toronto more with a Canadian version of Los Angeles and Montreal more like San Francisco.

SUZI - Vancouver is like San Francisco

JEREMY - Never made it out west but I'd love to see western Canada. I'm headed to Ny in a week

SUZI - I wish I was there right now. Our problem is that we're always working and we're really busy so we're never in the big cities vacationing, we're always in and out, no time to hang and check it all out. My big dream is to go to Austin and NY and some of the exotic cities and just hang out and take it all in and not be on a schedule. That's a major part of the frustration is every minute is accounted for with interviews and press and shows. The third city to answer your question is I don't know right now, I'll haveta think about that.

JEREMY - Speaking of farts, have you heard about the www.farts.com page? People record their farts and upload em, get voted on... you can ask Dr. Fart questions about how to increase your fart output and such

SUZI - I'll bet they get a lot of fetish people. One time I was reading penthouse forum and this lady was weirded out cuz, well it started cool since her husband didn't mind her farts but then it got weirder that he wanted her to fart into plastic bags and tie em up so he could smell em while he was at work

JEREMY - That's one of the crazy thing about the net is that you can find out about all the strangeness of the world on it. That thing which you find the most repulsive of all things on earth.... turns someone else on! Isn't that an odd thought? Pick the strangest thing you can think of... like hairy, unshaven, unshowered, sweaty, braided armpit hair on a 700 pound woman... that TURNS SOMEONE ON!

SUZI - There's probably a whole magazine dedicated just to that. I think I've seen it.

JEREMY - Did you say something about Oprah?

SUZI - No.

JEREMY - My fault

JEREMY - So. The last interview we did resulted in: a guy quitting a local chamber of commerce and started fighting or at least arguments between members of chambers of commerces, many of the directors of all chambers locally were pretty upset with me, I was almost not voted in to be accepted as a member of one chamber - I'll haveta change banks due to that shit - it started a huge propaganda campaign against me by this asshole at www.Desertgold.com who took excerpts from the interview and showed them to people who advertise on my page trying to get them to drop their ads with me or who knows what his intention was... it almost broke up a coupla friendships... you're quite a powerful lady, Suzi.

SUZI - I use the F word a lot, rock and roll, big fuckin' deal, y'know?

JEREMY - Here's something I've been told was that the biggest problem some had with the interview was NOT the sex act described in the interview or that Manson had ribs removed... but that people didn't like the quote from the Denis Leary comedy tape about kids committing suicide after listening to heavy metal albums.

SUZI - That is not anything new, though - that issue has been going on for a long time, it's as ridiculous as it ever was because if you're distraught enough to kill yourself after listening to a record, you've got pretty big problems to begin with and it's not the records fault.

JEREMY - No Doubt

SUZI - No, it wouldn't be a No Doubt record...

JEREMY - It's be an Abba record.

SUZI - I wonder if they fart. No, they poot. That's going to be an issue for a long time.

JEREMY - It's small town shit, I mean, could you imagine the issues of us discussing life and music and craziness in an interview causing flack in a city? I don't think so. Small minded people not getting out of the desert enough. How does the desert rate in your list of places you can't wait to get to?

SUZI - It's way up there, I don't know what number 1-10, but it's a destination, it's beautiful and I can't wait to get there. I was a little worried about getting back out there because of a lot of memories but I think it'll be fine once I have the time to get out there.

JEREMY - The president of the Lander's Chamber of Commerce is a really sweet lady named Mary Sunderlage. She's a self proclaimed conservative republican and invited you guys to come play out at Giant Rock (the biggest free standing boulder in the world- check it out at pioneertown.com). Any thoughts?

SUZI - We'd love to come play out there. We'd probably drive her off after the opening since we start the shows in a pretty outrageous way these days. Yeah, free speech! They might run us off if they saw us. I can't imagine that they would enjoy the loudness.

JEREMY - I don't know that the more conservative types would come...

SUZI - Probably best for their health if they just stayed home.

[ We're back out on the patio overlooking the lights of l.a. in some unnamed musician's house.]

JEREMY - Just took a leak and caught a whiff of my own MSG fart. Can't smell from the pollen sniffles, but one of the tiles fell off the bathroom wall. Since our last interview you've become quite net literate.

SUZI - Yeh, but still not enough time to cruise around and check out all the perve sites. My concern is pedophiles and other assholes are gonna screw it up for everybody. That's why I was asking if that stuff was really out there.

JEREMY - So I hear. I wish big brother would watch a little closer to that issue in particular. Piano wire isn't just for pianos, you know? I would like to offer my services to help catch child abusers and pedophiles and see em dealt with, but I was advised not to even go there because you run the risk of getting in trouble even offering to help.

SUZI - Yeh, I hope a few rotten eggs don't screw up everything on the net. It's great to have a last bastion of free speech in the world where you can check it all out. There's some screwed up shit I wanna make time to check out. I can appreciate fetishes. I was doing a search on my name and found this sight I've got bookmarked called the Mistress Suzi site... I have many hours of surfing to do, I've only scratched the surface. I enjoy it

JEREMY - Does it give you a new perspective on who looks at your pages now that you're one of them? Is it different than readers of interviews you do in magazines?

SUZI - Completely. Especially since doing two online chats that were set up through companies like Sonic Net and one with Reprise records. Sometimes the questions are very inane, but it's a great new medium

JEREMY - Have you heard about Bowie and big names going online and checking out rooms dedicated to them and people in the rooms don't believe it's them? Howard Stern had that problem - no one believed it was him when he just jumped into a chat room.

SUZI - A lot of people say they're a rock star online and aren't so it can potentially be pretty frustrating to the actual celebrity. The net - it's very addictive, I enjoy playing with my computer. Not as much as playing with my vibrator, but almost.

JEREMY - I have to apologize to all the good people who submitted their questions to ask Suzi but I only have a couple of q's with me - the rest were left at home on another computer.... I'll ask all the other q's next time you're in the states but for now....

Do you want to say anything to Nat the Cat who wants to get a gift to Courtney Love?

SUZI - Nat, Get A Life.

JEREMY - Hmmm.... here's another letter, also from Nat, it says something to the effect of that he doesn't know much about L7 but knows that some of you guys have ties to Love...

SUZI - Nat, I don't really care about you either and.... Get A Life. Can't he go to her website or something? Sheesh!

JEREMY - Look, he wrote a list of places he's contacted trying to get this package to her.

SUZI - He's very busy.

JEREMY - You got a lot of letters over the past few months but the vast majority I remember being questions about the REAL reason Jennifer isn't with the band anymore...

SUZI - The REAL reason? WIth capitol letters like that? OK, I'll reveal it here first... we've been saying all along that she just left to go back to school but I'll give you the scoop on it. Jennifer's going to school to become a Super Model.

JEREMY - Barbizon School of Super Modeling?

SUZI - I don't recall which school, but dammit, yeh, she's training for her career in Super Modeling!

JEREMY - And the new bassist is working out perfectly?

SUZI - She IS a Super Model. She's as Model Rock Goddess. She rocks in a Supreme Fashion.

JEREMY - What's the news on the UFO thing we talked about in the past?

SUZI - I was talking half jokingly about the UFO and the meteor thing cuz part of me hoped it would be true and it sounded so fantastic. It would be exciting if it were true.

Since then there are so many good news stories to get into. Jon-Benet. I love when the news gets really nutty. Something happened to me during the Gulf War and I became a CNN junkie. I just get excited when the news... like OJ, then the comet but since the comet there's been Jon-Benet, Heaven's Gate, the McVeigh trial - lots of good news. But the big giant meteor four times the size of the earth turned out to be a big hoax.

JEREMY - Would you like to share which one?

SUZI - Ummmm.... uhhhhhhh.... it was Heaven's Gate propaganda I was listening to on talk radio.

[ we laugh for a bit]

JEREMY - Anything new exciting happen at any concerts since the last interview? Did those kids come back with the strap-ons?

SUZI - No, we haven't been back to Tucson since and they're apparently not travelers. They did want to get back on during that show, though.

JEREMY - You're leaving in a few days for...

SUZI - Paris, France. The first show is a tv show we'll play one song then about nine festivals some are with Bowie, Rage Against the Machine, a bunch of other bands then the end of the tour wraps up in London opening for KISS.

JEREMY - OOO, AAAAA

SUZI - I'm so excited! We're going to exchange make-up tips.

JEREMY - Isn't that so cool and unexpected which bands from the past get back together and get big. Sometimes bigger than they ever were?

SUZI - See, that's where I'm thinking for L7, that we should break up, reform and get back together eventually after a big hoopla and laugh all the way to the bank and retire. I think that's why we're still together, cuz we can't afford to break up yet (laughs).

JEREMY - Start rumors? Paul is dead... no, Donita's dead, Dee is the Walrus, you're all bigger than Jesus?

SUZI - No, no rumors - all that shit is true.

JEREMY - What do albums sound like backwards?

SUZI - Backwards masking? We've done some of that on Bricks are Heavy. “Pretend We're Dead.” JEREMY - So play those cds backwards, kids!

SUZI - Exchanging make up tips with Kiss would be fun, I hope we get to meet them cuz I'm a big Kiss fan

JEREMY - Anything interesting to say about Marilyn Manson?

----Suzi smiles. Long Pause-------

SUZI - it was a great tour, but.... I was upset about one thing.

JEREMY - Wazzat?

SUZI - Their bands cocks kept fucking up our lip liner.

JEREMY - Other exciting-ness happen in the past few months?

SUZI - we were out with the Offspring for a month. They were very energetic, that was cool... we were in Austin right after a big tornado swept through there and there were tornado warnings, I thought it was curtains for us. We were ten miles from our hotel, it was night time. Very scary.

JEREMY - Tornadoes - I had one rip the top off my VW van while I was driving it. Eek. Scary shit. So what music you been listening to lately?

SUZI - Oh, no.

JEREMY - Yeh, you saw that coming - you wouldn't give me a straight answer on that last time either (I asked what one album she'd take to a desert island with her and she hadn't answered it in the past ). OK so what have you been listening to this week?

SUZI - Hmmmm, new music, I ’ll tell you what I think of new music now cuz on our last tour the tape player broke and we had to listen to the radio...

JEREMY - I'm sorry

SUZI - It was really bad. There were all these bands, I would just classify it as “PMS Fraud Rock.” I'm not going to mention any names here.

JEREMY - OK, I will - isn't there a law as to how many Alanis Morisette clones are allowed to get airplay at one time? I thought that was regulated by law, no?

SUZI - All I've gotta say is “PMS Fraud Rock.”

JEREMY - I'm so out of touch with new music cuz there are only a coupla stations in the desert which play music I'm not into anyhow, so bands like... I think it was the Spice Girls? Some British girl group, their crew guys were stopping in for drinks and everyone was making a big deal of it, wanting to meet them and all and I didn't even know who they were.

SUZI - I wish I didn't know who they were!

JEREMY - I just had one of those satellite dishes installed so I'm finally starting to see who all these bands are that people submit to our Q's your A's page. (check it out if you haven't, it's on our http://joshua-tree/jeremys page). Funny, some of the same names come up for both categories - your all time favorite album AND the most embarrassing record in your collection. Hanson? What's the deal with these kids?

SUZI - It's really violating. White washed kids with Christian overtones. Undertones, whatever. I don't wanna just bag on people, but I do like the .... “fag rock,” whatever.

JEREMY - A new phrase! How far ahead are you booked these days?

SUZI - Touring August, we're headlining major cities in the states, fall I'm not so sure, winter is Japan and Australia.

JEREMY - Through the winter - that's a long time.

SUZI - I hope we're booked through sometime in ’98. I would like to just keep touring and touring, I feel like doing that this year.

JEREMY - Have you heard about this Pink Floyd “Dark Side of the Moon” and how it matches up with the “Wizard of Oz?”

SUZI - I thought you were joking when we were talking about that before!

JEREMY - Naw, it's serious, the morning news even is talking about it, you CAN'T GET A COPY OF THE WIZARD OF OZ ANYWHERE! Everyone is renting it cuz of this thing, it was all over the net, emails goin' around, now the news and CNN, Good Morning America, whatever. You start the cd right at the end of the third roar of the lion

SUZI - So you play the movie, leave off the sound, and play the cd and there are lots of things that line up?

JEREMY - Yeh, the heart beating Dorothy puts her ear to the chest of whoever...

SUZI - What a trip, cuz if did you know that if you put on L7 Beauty Process Triple Platinum with the movie “SHOWGIRLS” it matches up perfectly... the pool fuck scene... you'll have to try it.

JEREMY - I will

JEREMY - Isn't it amazing how powerful music is? How deeply rooted it is in our psyche? I can't listen to Dark Side of the Moon anymore... I'm going through like a THOUSAND cds I have trying to find something to listen to for the ride to L.A. and everything has memories attached to it.

SUZI - I'm having a problem with that right now. I went through a relationship recently and a lot of music makes me think of that and I can't listen to that music right now. I hope I can listen to it again someday. Music that was in my collection pre-december is not in my collection anymore. No more love songs, I just want to listen to heavy, nasty, mindless stuff right now.

JEREMY - I heard Air Supply on the way down here

[We both crack up]

JEREMY - I always thought that it was a woman singing! It's two guys. What a BEAUTIFUL voice that guy has! I don't wanna listen to it, but my GOD, what a fucking voice.

SUZI - Castrati. Yeh, you attach music to memories, that's what's good about it. The songs that helped me get over my heartbreak I don't need to listen to them anymore, I don't want to anymore but they helped me get over it and through it. Songs helped me through it. I say constantly that music constantly saves my life and I really mean that.

JEREMY - The music we play in the store for nostalgia sake, like Queen, I was listening to a Best Friend on the radio on the way down here - what an amazing voice Freddy had! It's probably funny to any L7 fans out there reading this since it's a completely different genre, but it's odd to try to take away the memories and the “oh it's Queen” jokey thing and actually listen to the amazing talent that man had.

SUZI - I love Queen. I went to see them in the late 70's. I love that band.

JEREMY - Bohemian Rhapsody. Rock Operas., what a concept.

SUZI - I have a great Bohemian Rhapsody story.

JEREMY - Do tell

SUZI - I'd just arrived in L.A. and I was really, really broke and pretty down on my luck, but having a good time and a friend of my roommates danced at the Body Shoppe which is a pretty famous strip place on Sunset and there was an amateur night there. I was getting really tired of selling my blood for money so I decided to do this amateur night, you get free drinks... I had to borrow a g-string from another woman so like, god knows what was living in there... there was an old stripper who was the mc and I'm backstage and somebody comes up to me and asks what music I want and they have these two tapes and one tape I didn't know what it was and the other one was Queen so I picked Queen and thought that it'd be some rockin' song you could dance to it turned out the be Bohemian Rhapsody. I mean, that fast part at the end you can dance to but the mc, being this old stripper lady didn't have a clue - she introduces me and she says to the patrons in the club “buy some drinks or they'll turn this place into a parking lot.”

So I start dancing to Bohemian Rhapsody and some drunk yells “PUT UP A PARKING LOT!” Meanwhile, the whole thing was just tragic. Every time I hear it now I just laugh remembering one of my first stripping experiences. Scaramusch, Scaramusch, can you do the Fandango. Just picture this “Poppa, just killed a man,” try picture someone trying to strip to that.

JEREMY - Sounds as bad as my first singing audition, me singing “Only the good die young” by Billy Joel - I had this old school voice teacher, some old gay man who used to touch all us students a lot and he'd make us act out the songs... every time I hear that I think people can actually see my memories of that experience.

JEREMY - We've got a letter inside from a girl at one of your recent concerts talking about how all the big, jerky guys were ruining the mosh pit and she couldn't see over them and all

SUZI - That's really irritating. I wish there was a way for both people... a section for people who just wanna watch and one for people that wanna dance peacefully and one for people who have a fucking football fetish. I think those kinda guys haveta come out of the closet - you got these big giant beefo guys, they've got their shirts off, they're rubbing on the other guys... OK we were having this discussion in the van the other awhile back about back in the day, at punk rock shows, there used to be some style in the pit and quite frankly doesn't have any style anymore and I think people are missing the point - it used to be about dancing and there was some contact but people had style and now there are these new schoolers who don't get it and then you've got these people and I think they have some kinda fucked up fetish and I wish there'd be an area just for those guys “I'm takin' off my shirt and I'm really sweaty and I'm rubbin' on these other guys” kinda guys.

JEREMY - Strap-on guys?

SUZI - no, the strap-on guys are cool.

------------We're back inside on our computers, SUZI - ---------

JEREMY - K, here's the letter from Elderly Woman was the one who asked the huge guys in the mosh pit screwing it up for everyone

SUZI - Yeh, the huge guys in the mosh pit kinda ruin it for me sometimes, too. I like to see people dance and have a good time and I hate to see people get hurt. I don't know what to tell you. If it gets too nuts.... ummm.....

JEREMY - Bring a stun gun?

SUZI - YEH! Absolutely. Keep it in your pants.

JEREMY - Alright, here's the letter from Nat the Cat, his first letter says... why did Jennifer leave - we covered that... blah blah blah... when did Jennifer leave the band?

SUZI - Well I haveta' say that Donita and I founded the band in 84 or 85, we can't remember...

JEREMY - Nat says “Jennifer founded the band after leaving the band the Sugar Baby Dolls...”

SUZI - Suzi Gardner and Donita Sparks founded the band in 1984, 1985 and Jennifer joined the band in 1986 and uhhh.... why did she leave the band?

JEREMY - Let's see, the letter says “blah blah blah.... none of my friends are into...” fuck this. I'm tired. It's been a long day already and I took on a new dog today.

SUZI - What kinda dog?

JEREMY - believe it or not a pitbull, never thought I'd ever even think of a pitbull. Now I've got a huge German shepherd and a pitbull. Think my house'll be the first target of burglars?

SUZI - (laughs) Yeh, let's fuck with THAT house!

JEREMY - It even looks scary - like a junkyard dog, y'know, mottled color

SUZI - Ew, brindled? (sp?)

JEREMY - Yeh! Brindled.

----long pause... we're looking at each other and start cracking up - it's about 5am and we've both been going all day so we're pretty loopy

JEREMY - Man, is this fucking boring or what?
SUZI - I dunno, I'm too tired to tell.

JEREMY - Let's find something funny to leave it off on... OH! I know what I forgot to ask you about - remember when Louise and I drove you guys (the band) over to the Haight we passed a house with a big L7 poster in the window?

SUZI - Yehhhh

JEREMY - Louise and I were joking you guys should make that person's day and go knock on the door and say “nice poster” or something but you guys only had an hour to shop so everything was rush, rush, rush... do you ever do anything like that?

SUZI - Oh YEH! In fact when we were in Cleveland recently I saw some fans that were up front and they were rockin' out and I had some after show passes for a party that The Offspring were having. I went looking around and found these fans, they were out back hoping to get some photos signed by the band and invited em. I like to go meet the fans, but I'm not always in the mood to talk to people sometimes I'm shut down. When I'm in the mood I do enjoy it, taking photographs and talking...

JEREMY - Never knocked on a strangers door that has a poster in the window? Over by the Haight?

SUZI - No, but I would do that! Just to say thanks for the advertising and here's the ten dollars I promised you.

JEREMY - You guys were pissed cuz you said it was a poster you guys couldn't even get.

SUZI - It was a big giant record store thing that we don't even have a copy of. We collect our own stuff.

JEREMY - K, let me show you this thing on our webpage - it's the interactive thing where people can fill in the answers to our questions or just read other people's answers. This and the interviews are the most popular thing on our page (you can either navigate around to it or just open the direct url at http://joshua-tree.com/jeremys/trivia/trivia.html - I think that's it)

Under the question which ONE album would you take to a desert island, there's a lot of Marilyn Manson. Look, there, there, there. Lotsa' MM fans out there. Let's put your answers to these questions, ok?

SUZI - Let's go

Favorite webpage on the net?

SUZI - Toss up between SmellL7.com and the joshua-tree.com page.

One album you'd take to a desert island?

SUZI - MM - Antichrist Superstar

Worst job you ever had?

SUZI - Shining shoes in Orange County. Outside a country and western bar during that era of Urban Cowboy

Strangest place you ever had sex?

SUZI - In a graveyard, at midnight, in Germany with a train going by

Most embarrassing story that you've ever heard or ever happened to you?

SUZI - The story of my life. I threw up in a borrowed sleeping bag.

Strangest dream?

SUZI - That I was pulling fish hooks out of my snatch.

Most outrageous thing you ever did for money?

SUZI - Played rock and roll for the last twelve years.

Strangest nickname of someone you know?

SUZI - Spot.

Most bizarre thing you have EVER seen?

JEREMY - Calder had a good one for that... she said a very naked midget at a Dead show

SUZI - Not bad, I saw what appeared to be a zombie in a ditch at night. I'm serious, it was in northern California it was really bizarre - this guy wasn't wearing any clothes and he had palm fronds

Punchline to your favorite joke?

SUZI - So why the long face.

Stupidest thing you ever bought that seemed like a good idea at the time?

SUZI - A blue 66 Dodge Dart that turned into a money pit

Best or worst pickup line you've ever heard or used?

SUZI - Don't I know you from Alliganey (sp?)

Weirdest food you've ever eaten?

SUZI - Probably gator in Louisiana

Worst roommate or guest you've ever had?

SUZI - Oh God - our first drummer.

JEREMY - what happened?

SUZI - He just cooked really foul smelling food, got drunk and then vomited in his own lap and peed his pants

Best or worst animal story?

SUZI - When I let my dog go down on me.

Dumbest thing you've ever done?

SUZI - When I let my dog go down on me.

Favorite bumper sticker?

JEREMY - Don't let your dog go down on me?

SUZI - Nooooo, ummm, I brake for armadillos. I have one on my amp is says GET OUT OF ME

JEREMY - My brother you met - I asked him his favorite, he said something like “real Texas chili, it's not just for breakfast anymore” and the other was Shit Happens. I said why do you think those are funny and he said cuz when he was an paramedic he put them on his ambulance.

Worst surprise you've ever found in your food?

SUZI - hmmmm, I've found some good surprises but I can't think of any right now. Put Extra calories.

Most misunderstood song lyric?

SUZI - That Neil Diamond song, what' s it called? It goes “New York's fine...” I thought the line was “Not even the chair”

Strangest hallucination you ever had?

SUZI - The friend I was with turned into the mythical character Pan right before my eyes, it was pretty scary

One movie you've watched the most times?

SUZI - Spinal Tap

Favorite line from a movie?

SUZI - “It's a fine line between clevah and stew-pihd.” Spinal Tap.

Favorite Freudian slip, word mix up or dyslexic mess?

SUZI - He got a neckie on his hick from a cheesy slick.

JEREMY - Man! Where did that come from?

SUZI - I was bitching about this boyfriend who cheated on me.

JEREMY - Louise had a good one - she meant to say “may I have a perrier” but said “may I have a big penis.”

Worst caught in the act story?

SUZI - When I was a kid under one of those big plastic swimming pools in the garage with a little boy from across the street. My mother caught us and said “You diiiirty little boooooy!” Like it was his fault.

Worst insult you've ever heard or used?

SUZI - Save your breathe, you'll need it to blow up your girlfriend when you get home.

During which movie did you cry the most?

SUZI - Spinal Tap. It just gets really sad.

JEREMY - Nun maw sad.

During which movie did you laugh the most?

JEREMY - Terms of Endearment?

SUZI - YEH! No, “It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World.”

What question should we add to this list?

SUZI - Have you ever had sex with an animal?

Strangest phone call?

SUZI - I had a series of phone calls from a breather. He'd call and breathe and I'd hang up and he'd call back we ended up having phone sex.

JEREMY - Wow - did you do mutual breathing or did you get past that?

SUZI - We got past it, I got really curious about his perversion so I started asking questions

JEREMY - learn anything interesting?

SUZI - Yeh, he'd breathe and listen while he was jackin' off while he was touching his mother and his sister's bras.

JEREMY - Sounds complicated, he must've had one of those operator headsets.

SUZI - He sounded really young.

If you could be anyone else, who would you be and why?

SUZI - I would be Jacob Dillon's underpants.

Strangest real name of someone you know?

SUZI - In sixth grade there was a kid named Billy Boner.

JEREMY - I'm asleep. Drooling. You?

SUZI - Sleeping.

JEREMY - Good night, Suzi.

SUZI - Good night, Jeremy

--the end--