Yes, they look like fashion victims.
Yes, they once again publicly humiliated themselves and don't realize it.
Personally, I'm getting a little bored with all that. So instead, I'll just write up...
My Grammy Afterthoughts
1. Steely Dan? Steely Dan?
2. Toni Braxton is not Jennifer Lopez.
3. Jon Stewart is cool.
4. I hate Breathe in a big way.
5. I hated Tim and Faith's matching see through shirts more.
6. Destiny's Child is not interesting to watch perform. Serves them right for being so talented and good looking. (You should really have to pick one.)
7. Nsync made Destiny's Child look like excitement personified. (Although, you gotta like the boys for picking neither.)
8. I hate TIPY. I really do.
9. I also dislike the way the boys feel the need to ooh and ahh and hormonize their little guts out in an attempt to prove to the world that they're talented.
10. Who the heck is Shelby Lynne? I've heard her name. I've heard of her album, I Am Shelby Lynne. But I have never heard anything that she sings.
11. Macy Gray is a strange gal. ("But you have to give her snaps for her couragous fashion efforts.")
12. I have strong feelings about the Baha Men winning a Grammy. They're not happy feelings. (Hey, AP! Remember the first time we heard Who Let The Dogs Out? I'm smiling right now!)
13. Justin and short hair.
14. Why on earth did it take seven people to write Say My Name?
15. Jars of Clay. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha.
16. Why did the Native American man believe in Jesus?
17. Christina Aguilera is a train wreck all her own. She does, however, make me wish I were fluent in Spanish so that I could tell if her translations and pronounciations were done well. (I have my doubts.)
18. What exactly is a spoken word album? Can you really get nominated for a Grammy for reading aloud? And here I thought I could never win one...
19. Braindroppings. You know you want to say it now.
20. From where exactly does a Classical crossover artist crossover? (Or to where?)
21. JC is an idiot. (Oh, and in case you were wondering, his hair inspired that comment.)
22. Is Lil' Bow Wow actually popular and successful? I mean, for real?
23. Tracy Bingham. Oh, my. She and Justin should get together and bedazzle. (In case you didn't see her, those rhinestone things are glued to her, and the stones in the picture are about all of the stones glued to her chest.)
24. I think I'm the only person in the world who doesn't like Madonna's song Music.
25. Do you think Eminem really likes Elton John? Do you think anyone liked Elton John's suit? Besides JC?
26. Where was Britney?
27. Sitting through all of that would be boring. I don't care if Lance was in the room.
28. JC is an idiot. (That was for the clothes.)
29. Do you think the Blue Man Group were blue even in non-dress rehearsals?
30. Why was Val Kilmer so spacy when he was presenting? Did you see him? Dazed.
31. Gloria Estefan's dress was, well, I only saw the top of it, but she looked like a porn star.
32. I've come across so many pictures of Shelby Lynne. I'm going to ask again: who is she? What does she sing? Where did she come from? Does thirteen years and six albums sound not New Artist-y to anyone else? (And DO NOT email me explaining what the Best New Artist Grammy is for and how the guidelines are blurry. I know.)
I say give Best New Artist to Billy Gilman! He's such a cute (TALENTED!) little thing!
33. Oh, no. Dress rehearsals. WHAT is he wearing?! No, no- WHY is he wearing it? And yes, I think it's abundantly clear about whom I am speaking.
34. Wild Orchid was at the Grammy's? Why?
35. Nobody's Angel, same question.
36. Who are 3 of Hearts, and who thought that was a good name?
37. It's really annoying to be in the same city as an awards show and have to watch it prerecorded after it ends.
38. It's more annoying to have people in different time zones call you and tell you all the winners.
39. Mr. Clean was at the Grammy's! Or is it the Mattress Giant? (AP's got a theory about them...) Who's Matt Pinfield?
40. Why do Beck and Radiohead get nominated for Album Of The Year when they will not under any circumstances win?
41. How many Baha Men are there, anyway? Seven? Six?
42. Is it really enough of an honor to be nominated that you don't care if you win? I think they're lying. I like to win.
43. Who doesn't love the Beach Boys? They're the first tape I can remember playing in my little yellow Walkman.
44. I'm hungry. I love Goldfishes 'cause they're so delicious.
45. Lance. Must. Shave. Now.
46. Do you think all those stars really wanted confetti all over their expensive clothes?
47. Why do rich people dress badly? Just because they can?
48. If a shirt is outrageously expensive and no one is there to see it, is it still really ugly?
49. JC is an idiot. (That was just on general principles.)
50. I'm all Grammy-ed out. I'll leave you with a few final pictures.
This is gonna be JC in another couple weeks.
(Because I know you're all dying to hear them.)
