Journal
January 15, 2008
I always say it, but I can't believe it's been so long since I updated here! It's been crazy. I've hooked up with a Commedia de'l Arte (I've probably spelled it wrong) troup in the SCA, as well as apprencticed to a very talented C&I Laurel. We've moved again. The girls are in 3rd grade, and them by themselves are enough to keep me busy. Ben had a baby. Ok, his girlfriend actually had the baby, but he helped put her in there. I'm working still (yay) Chris is working again (yay) and we're trying to make it work. It's been hectic and shaky, and I'm not sure if it's going to or not, but here we are. I've been studying Wicca with a local coven and finding it absolutely fascinating! It seems sad that I can sum up the last year and a half in that one little paragraph... Life goes, it keeps going whether we want it to or encourage it to or not. I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I have been in years, but I'd still like the skin to be a little smaller! My daughters are still the light of my life, even if I *would* like to throttle them from time to time. It's kind of late, I don't have anything deep or meaningful to say, but Paula, you've been telling me I need to update so... be happy with me now!
Blessed be! XOXOXO
May 11, 2006
It's been almost exactly a year since I updated this. Can't believe I've been so negligent. Part of it, I suppose, is because I've been occasionally blogging on my myspace. Woohoo! I'm going to Pennsic this year!! I am so looking forward to it. The girls and I are leaving on Wednesday, August 16 and coming back on Sunday, August 20. I wish we were going for the whole war, but Chris didn't want to be without all of us for 10 whole days. Even better, I think my brother Ben is going to fly out from Texas and go with me. YEAH!! War is so going to rock. I'll be camping hopefully next to my best friend, hopefully my brother will be there... I haven't seen him in almost 6 years! Finances are still a little down, but they're evening out... vacation is looking up... hopefully it will all pull together like it's supposed to.
XOXOXO
May 10, 2005
Wow, been so busy I haven't been here in ages! Going ok right now. Chris is in school, doing pretty well. The girls are fantastic, getting bigger all the time. My brother, Erik, and his wife, Nichelle, had their second baby on April 27, welcome to the world, Grayson Ajani Kael Williams. He looks so sweet! Big fat cheeks that I'd just love to pinch and kiss... unfortunately he's on the other side of the country, and airfare is expensive when you're poor. On that point, there is kind of a light at the end of the tunnel, Chris should be co-opping at the beginning of next year. Yeah, bringing in more money! Of course, we'll be paying for after school daycare and summer daycare, so it will balance out, I'm sure.
More and more active again with the SCA. I'm doing scribal work again, so that's good. Maybe one day I'll put some pics of my calligraphy on here. I will probably be Baronial Herald after tomorrow, no one else seems really interested in it. We have to have a herald to stay a group, though, and I enjoy court and field heraldry, so I might as well.
So, just wanted to check in, really, once I realized how long it had been. Love to all...
XOXOXO
August 15, 2004
Just wanted to check in, nothing special, I suppose. Doing ok on the home front. Spent a couple of weeks in a nasty depression missing Nick... my sweet buddy boy. He still leaves an ache in my heart. My biggest frustration right now is money. I hate money, sometimes. Mostly when there's not enough of it. We're going on vacation next month with Chris' parents to Sea World Orlando, and I've already got tickets for that... but there's NO money for anything else. I am SO damn tired... not lacking in sleep tired, but tired of trying. We should have stayed in the apartment we were in where rent was cheaper. It's not the mortgage that's killing me, it's the stupid home owner's dues. The price you pay when you live in a condo instead of a house. I'm just tired of trying and trying and fighting the good fight, and having it never be enough. Never enough time... never enough money... just never enough. I feel like an utter and complete failure to my children because I can't provide all the things they need. I don't know what we'd do if my mom in law didn't buy them clothes every time the season changes. Granted, she does it for her other grandkids too, so it's not like we get special attention, but she's saved our butts more than once just buying clothes for our children, which she (apparently) enjoys.
I guess I'm just bitching now and should stop. Life just sucks sometimes more than others, and right now it sucks REAL bad. Nicholas, money... then to top it off, Chris fell down the stairs tonight, bruised the snot out of his knee and elbow, got a whopping headache from whacking his head on the wall, and he's not going to make his meeting with his advisor & financial aid at school tomorrow. Oh yes, and I think my damn dishwasher just died. When it rains it fucking POURS!!!
Screw it, I'm going to bed.
July 19, 2004
Wow, time flies. It always seems like forever when I get on and update this thing. Doing pretty good, money is tight, but isn't it always? I'm not sure I know another way to live than counting the pennies. Taking the girls to SeaWorld Orlando this September, so I'm counting the pennies even harder. Anybody got a couple of grand just lying around?
Feeling kind of morbid, down, tonight and I don't know why. I'm really missing my younger brothers. Man, Texas and California are just WAY too far away. I miss my son and my dad... too many people I love gone before they're old. Granted, with Nick he was freed. Wherever you believe we go when we leave here, even if we just vanish into nothing, it's got to be better than he was here. Logically, I know that. But I still miss my baby boy.
Had a good SCA event this past Saturday. A good time was had by all. Unfortunately I'm going to miss Pennsic AGAIN this year, but I will have my second annual Pennsic Orphans Gathering (POG). Last year it was a blast, and I hope it will be the same this year. Next year, I'm planning on going to war. I really like Pennsic, I miss going.
Anyway, I think I'm rambling now. It's late, I need to do dishes and stuff. Love to all...
XOXOXO
December 31, 2003
Last day of 2003... I can't believe it. Had a great Christmas. The girls, of course, made out like little bandits. An anonymous Santa got the girls a Nintendo Game Cube and left it, wrapped of course, on the driver's seat of my car. I think I know who it is, but they are denying it vehemently. How's that go... the lady (lord) doth protest too much... something like that. I think every Christmas it gets a little easier to deal with Nick not being here for it. Summer told me she wants to let some balloons go for his birthday like we did the first year. The girls drew pictures and made happy birthday cards and we tied them to the balloons and let them go "to take the cards to baby Nick in heaven". I know it helped me feel a little better, that we were doing something to recognize his birthday. I don't know about everyone else.
Anyway, I hope everyone has a great new year's eve. Be save, be healthy... don't drink and drive. I know, I know, it's an old message, but people still do it. Someone's mother, father, brother, sister, son or daughter dies every day because someone else was drunk behind the wheel. Be smarter than that...
XOXOXO
December 1, 2003
Well, I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. We spent the day with Chris' family and had an AWESOME meal, hats off to his mom. Spent the rest of the weekend moving. I HATE MOVING!!! So now I've got piles and boxes and crap that needs to be put away... I hate it... I don't know where anything is. My hands are destroyed and my knees hate me... hell, even the soles of my feet hurt. I really do hate moving. But now we own it, so we'll be staying for a while. Next time, I'm just going to pay someone else to move me. I'm not doing this crap again. Anyway, Christmas is around the corner, the girls can't wait. I've already got a couple of their presents. Be well, hold your family close and love them this holiday season.XOXOXO
November 18, 2003
Wow, it's been forever since I updated this thing. Things are going pretty well for us and for me. Still singing karaoke at Bullfishes regularly. Last Thursday was the first time I'd missed in forever, and I missed it because I fell down the stairs at home that morning and just hurt WAY too much to want to go sit on a bar stool. Next Monday, 11/24, we're closing on a condo we're buying. Chris is excited, the girls are excited, I'm terrified. In my poor, paranoid little brain, change is BAD... change is SCARY... and buying a condo and moving, that's BIG change, so it's really scary. But, I'm sure it will go just fine and I'll get over it and life will go on. Saw the last installation of Matrix couple weekends ago... it was pretty cool. Picking up my extended version of LOTR: Two Towers tonight, then go straight home and watch it as soon as possible! I know, I'm a geek... Generally life is good. Coming up on the holidays, I miss my baby, my Nick... my dad... my brothers (who aren't dead, but live far away), but I'll get over that too, and life will go on.XOXOXO
August 5, 2003
Life is still going well. Job is good... kids are good... husband is good. Grandma is in town from Arizona and I'm trying to get up to see her before she leaves. I have so much less to say when things are going well! Singing karaoke on a regular basis... it's lots of fun. Getting involved back in the SCA, doing lots of calligraphy. I've got a big project I'm getting ready to start for our Baronial Arts & Sciences championship at the end of the month. All is good. I heard from my brother, Ben, and he's even doing well again. For a while I was pretty worried about him, but he seems to be doing much better. Anyway, just wanted to check in just in case anyone still reads this.XOXOXO
May 22, 2003
Well, things are going fairly well. The last Cherry Bang show was AWESOME. Billy, Dean, Steve & Krys went out with a BANG. (pun almost intended) Went and saw the Matrix Reloaded last Saturday, it is awesome. I'd see it again. Now we have Crown this weekend, and of course, like any good scribe, I'm cramming to get scrolls done that I should have started last week. The crown goes to lengths to make sure we have 2 weeks of notice and I procrastinate the first week of it. Well... little late to do anything about it now other than stay up and get it done. One of them is actually finished and I'm fairly happy with it. The second one is about an hour and a half of calligraphy away from being done. The third... well, I'll be starting it tonight when I'm done with the callig on the second. So, I'm kinda tired, but life is going pretty well, anyway. Vacation coming in about two weeks. Hopefully I'll have my car back by then because Chris is driving down to Memphis while the girls and I are in AZ. Although, to put those miles on a rental instead of our car wouldn't be all bad... Erik and Nichelle's visit here was grand. A good time was had by all. They are safe and sound back in CA now. Just wanted to check in, just in case anyone reads this... Be well.
XOXOXO
May 8, 2003
I tried all night not to break down and cry as the tears rolled down my face... I felt so cold and empty, like a lost soul out of place... and mirror, mirror on the wall, see my smile it fades again... Give me something to believe in... Sometimes I wish to god I didn't know now some things I didn't know then... {Poison, Something to Believe in}
May 7, 2003
Wow, lots going on this month, lots going on today. To start off with this month. X Men United already came out... I want to see that. My brother, Erik, and his (pregnant) wife, Nichelle, are flying in from California Friday (I can't wait!!). I haven't seen Erik for probably 4 years and I've never met Nichelle. I'm picking them up from the airport if all goes according to plan, and Erik is going to the next item of interest, the last Cherry Bang showm, which is Saturday, May 10th, at Never On Sundays. Email Billy if you need more info or directions or something. Matrix Reloaded is coming out the 15th, conveniently while Erik is still in town. I'm hoping to get a bunch of people together to go see it. Then on the 25th is Crown Tournament. Visit the Middle Kingdom web page if that is something you'd be interested in. Anyway... lots going on today because I got in a car wreck! Yes, it sucks balls. I was sitting still, waiting to turn left into my in-laws street to pick up my daughters and take them to swim lessons, and this kid didn't see me until he was right on top of me and slammed right into the ass end of my car. Man, was I pissed. My head hurt from banging into the headrest, and my arm has a pretty good abrasion from the seat belt. I'm willing to bet I'm going to be one stiff, sore puppy tomorrow, but no one was really hurt. We'll all recover, and his insurance had BEST pay for everything, including a rental until mine gets fixed/replaced, whatever they decide to do with it.
Well, It's late, I'm tired and getting stiff. I'm going to bed. Be well...
XOXOXO
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