FAMILY TIES
      By Spense
 

Chapter Twelve

Jonny's next several conversations with his mother stressed his self-
control at home to its absolute limit.  He remarked to her that
acting as though nothing was different was much harder, the more you
actually knew.  There were several minor blow-ups and only Jonny's
hard work at controlling himself kept them from becoming major
artillery strikes against his family.

Rachel had been very concerned regarding Jonny's earlier comment
about being a second-class citizen, and had encouraged him to
elaborate.  Jonny had, talking about the additions of Will and Rae,
and the changes their presence had wrought.

"You'd think Rae was Dad's only child, the way he dotes on her.  I
mean, I'm his kid, and so is Hadji.  But Hadji doesn't seem to mind.
He just spends time with Dad in the lab, helping him on projects and
stuff," Jonny said bitterly.  "I'm the odd one out.  I guess knowing
how he feels about you makes me realize that he'd rather not see me
so much anyway.  I really look like you.  I wonder why he keeps your
portrait up?"

"For your sake, probably," Rachel shrugged.  "Didn't you say he told
Will he'd take it down if she wanted him too?"

"Uh-huh.  She said to leave it.  She wasn't worried."

Rachel asked him to elaborate on Rae, so Jonny obliged.  "The weird
thing is that I don't get why Dad named her Rachel," Jonny commented
as he finished.

"Who knows.  He did tell me once that he'd always liked the name.
And maybe to appease my parents, who still think I'm dead, by the
way."

Jonny was completely appalled. Rachel laughed at his statement.  "I-
1 doesn't discriminate.  It was easier for them that way.  Anyway,
your father dotes on Rae you said?"

"Yeah," Jonny said with notable bitterness.  "And now there's baby
crap in every room in the house."

Rachel laughed again. "In Benton's museum?  Really?  That's
unbelievable."

"Oh yeah.  There's swings in practically every room, including the
lab and Dad's office, and a playpen or crib in each one too.  That
kid has everything!  And I found a picture where I was sleeping in a
dresser drawer.  Go figure."

Rachel looked amazed.  "I remember that.  We didn't have much in the
way of furniture for you.  Benton kept planning to get more, and
something always came up."

"Yeah, well, Rae not only has the antique family cradle, she often
takes her naps in Dad's lab.  Its like he hates being parted from the
kid," Jonny finished bitterly.

Rachel shook her head in patent disbelief.  "Well, that certainly is
a change.  Remind me of this when I say your father never changes,"
she remarked.

"Why?" Jonny wanted to know.

Rachel looked at her son with some trepidation.

"Why!"  Jonny pushed.

"Well, because when you were born, he wasn't really interested in you
as an infant.  I mean, he was thrilled to have a son, but frankly, in
his eyes, you didn't get interesting until you started to talk and
communicate readily."

Jonny looked slightly puzzled.  "Okay, but what about all the
pictures taken of me and Dad.  I mean, albums full."

Rachel looked at him sadly.  "One moment out of time.  One moment out
of thousands in a day, I'm sorry to say.  You certainly didn't spend
much time in his lab, I can tell you that."

Not much surprised Jonny anymore.  He shrugged and said, "Well, what
else is new.  I'm not that interesting to him now, either.  That's
pretty obvious.  Rae is far more fascinating, I guess.  He hardly
lets her out of his sight.  Whereas something always manages to come
up when I want to talk to him about something," he finished bitterly.

Rachel looked concerned at Jonny's reaction.  "I'm sorry, Honey.  I
really wish I could tell you differently."

Jonny smiled sadly at his mother.  "Yeah, me too.  But I'm glad to
know the truth.  It just confirms what I've always felt deep
down . . . that I'm an outsider.  Hadji and Jessie are so smart, and
they've always been more like Dad than I am.  And now he has a
daughter who looks just like him.  Hair color and all."

"Well, you know the saying about `daddy's little girl'.  And middle
children always have the hardest time, and now, well, that's you."

"Oh yeah," Jonny agreed.  "And Jessie is Race's daughter, so I'm
second best there.  At least it's better than being third with my own
dad."

Rachel hugged him.  "But you're first with me!"
 

*   *   *   *   *
 

Things at home continued to deteriorate.  Benton was becoming
increasingly impatient with his youngest son.  "What's gotten into
you?  You're  becoming increasingly rude to Will, and to me, and
basically behaving abominably in general to everyone else."

Not nearly as badly as he'd like to, Jonny reflected.  In actually,
he'd done amazingly well at holding his tongue.  He repeated his
mantra in his head.  `Do what they expect you to do.  Say what's
expected.'  He apologized contritely.

"Apologizing isn't enough, young man.  Clean up your act and start
behaving."  Jonny was sent to his room to `think about it'.  And
think he did, but probably not the way his father wanted him too.  It
was a very good thing that Will and Rae were distracting his Dad as
much as they were, or Benton would have been coming down on him much
harder.  But Jonny was afraid he wasn't fooling Race nearly as well.
He seemed to be watching him with narrowed eyes.  Jessie was just
plain avoiding him.

Hadji however, had tried several times to talk to him.  Of everybody
in the household, Hadji just might have been the one person to
understand.  Jonny was tempted, several times, to confide in him, but
Hadji was just working too closely with Benton to suit Jonny, so he
just didn't dare.

And now Jonny's schoolwork was deteriorating again, but he found it
hard to be worried about it.  Frankly, he just couldn't be bothered.

"Maybe he'll just give up on me," Jonny said hopefully to Rachel one
afternoon.

"Not a chance.  You're his son, remember?  This is Benton's perfect
world," she laughed, then continued quietly, "And you don't really
want him to, do you?"

"No," Jonny agreed honestly.  "I don't.  But I wish he'd just love me
without any strings attached.  I feel like I've lost my Dad," he said
sadly.  "But then again, I never really had him, did I?  It was all
just a lie."

Rachel hugged him tightly.  "I'm sorry.  I should never have come
back.  You were doing fine without me."

Jonny's resolve hardened once more.  "No, I wasn't.  Will and Rae
ruined everything.  Dad may be a liar, but he liked me fine
before `they' came along."

And there wasn't much Rachel could say to that.  They both knew he
was right.