March 6, 2001 - Augh



Have I ever mentioned how much I hate getting in trouble? That I really really hate getting in trouble? That I think being in trouble is horrid and that's why I'm not a criminal? Did I mention that I hate people who get me in trouble by association?

Yeah, I'm getting at something. I can't even go into everything that's going on right now for so many reasons, but this I can rant about. My partner for my TV story lost the battery charger. I went and found that so we didn't get in trouble. Did I mention I'm also very good at covering my ass? But there's a battery missing. I didn't see it. I didn't touch the batteries. I barely touched the camera. I had no idea when we left how many batteries we had. So the TV tech sees me and talks to me but it's my partner who probably left the battery in her backpack and just forgot she had it, not me. It turns out that my partner is probably up there amongst the irresponsible people, despite how smart she's supposed to be. Augh!

Plus, the university lost my pay cheque so I have to wait until next pay period for the money. And I may have to pay for half this battery. Bye bye pay cheque. Sigh...

So I'm listening to Black Hole Sun and being miserable. And it's snowing. Again! I hate this. Despite how absolutely gorgeous the ice rain last week made the world. I walked to class that day in complete awe of the prism effect on the trees. I love that our campus does have so many trees. I just wish they'd leave the leaves in a big pile again this coming fall so I can get drunk and jump in them again. :) That was what first year was all about. Third year bites. I hate everything I have to deal with, despite the utter brilliance I sometimes see within myself in respect to my poetry and my papers... I think just responsibility sucks. It isn't fair to be responsible for things you never saw but I guess that's part of being an adult.

And besides, my partner lives at home, has a job and a scholarship. I'm sure she has money. I live away from home and have no scholarship and no student loan. And my parents aren't exactly wealthy. That's why I'm dying for tax refunds... sigh.

Sometimes life really isn't fair. And I have big news and I can't put it up here, which isn't fair to the rest of you who might actually read this occasionally.
© lily keller 2001
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