BUFFY: "How do you like my darkness now?"
You know when you realize that you're pretty famous for a Slayer? When the superstar of the demon world knows you. During a routine patrol, Buffy comes face to face with Dracula himself. Turns out Drac is in town for a reason. He wants the Slayer. But obviously, he didn't do his homework if he thought it would be that easy to get this Slayer. Despite all his neat little gypsy tricks, you can be sure Buffy will give him a ride for his money.
Buffy: "Harmony ... (laughing) Harmony has minions?"
It's hard being a teen. Especially when your big sister is the Slayer and your desperate for attention. But Dawn's rebellion leads to dramatic events when she runs away and gets herself kidnapped by Harmony and her... minions lol. Yes, Harmony is back on her feet after being dumped by Spike and she's hell-bent on making a name for herself. And if it means kidnapping the Slayer's sister and using her as a bait, so be it. Let's just hope our favorite undead dumb blonde thought her plans through. Or not.
Anya: "Well, maybe we shouldn't do this reintegration thing right away. See, I can take the boys home, and ... we can all have sex together, and ... you know, just slap 'em back together in the morning."
Once again, Xander is caught in the line of fire. When a demon tries to use his funky magic stick thingy to split the slayer in two, Xander gets hit instead. But no one notices the other Xander lying unconscious on a pile of garbage and they leave without him. When he wakes up and comes face to face with his twin, he comes to the natural conclusion that some kind of demon took over his life. Once again, Xander is everybody's butt monkey.
Spike: "Oh! I saw that. Looks like neither boy's entirely welcome. You should take him home, Slayer. Make him stay there. I've got knitting needles he can borrow."
Riley's in trouble. If he doesn't see a doctor from the Initiative soon, he'll die (please let him ::sigh:: never mind) The thing is, when talking about this and making an appointment with said doctor, Spike overhears. Of course, our favorite bleached vamp who has only one thing in his mind--get the chip out--jumps on the occasion. With Harmony's help, he kidnaps the good doctor and forces him to remove the chip. Unfortunately for him, and fortunately for Buffy and for us, that doctor is a sneaky little weasel.
Glory: "You can't go around hitting people. What, were you born in a barn?"
When Joyce is hit by a mysterious illness, Buffy automatically assume it has to do with a spell of some sort. So in order to find out what kind of magic has been used to make her mom sick, Buffy cast a spell to make her see magic. What she finds though is more disturbing than anything she would have imagined. Her sister, Dawn, is the only thing out of place in the house and there is no magic surrounding her mother. After freaking out, Buffy leaves the house. She ends up in an old abandoned factory where she comes face to face with the new big bad in town--a skanky hoe in red heels. The freakishly strong woman is holding up a monk that Buffy helps freeing. Before dying, the monk reveals to Buffy the mystery surrounding her sister. She is the key, and needs to be protected at any cost.
Spike (to Tara's father): "There's no demon in there. That's just a family legend, am I right? Just a bit of spin to keep the ladies in line. (smirks) Oh, you're a piece of work. I like you."
It's Tara's birthday, and her creepy ass family is in town to celebrate. Celebrate is kind of a figure of speech her considering that their intentions are to drag her back home kicking and screaming. Their reason? Some made up elaborate fantasy about her turning into a demon on her twentieth birthday. Obviously, they weren't counting on the intervention of the Slayer and her gang, and most importantly, of one chipped vampire who can't hit humans.
Spike: "Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you want to dance."
After a patrol accident, Buffy goes to Giles to ask him how, or rather, WHY past Slayers died. What happened exactly at that moment when they lost the fight. But nothing in the Watchers journals says anything about that particular topic. Freaked out by being stabbed with her own stake by a mere fledging, Buffy turns to the only person she knows who actually killed a Slayer. Or two Slayers to be more exact. Spike. He obliges her and tell her about his adventures over a couple of beers and a plate of spicy wings. Things don't end well though. When Spike, who has only recently discovered he has feeling for Buffy, tried to kiss her, she gives him the same reply another woman gave him so many years ago: You're beneath me. Out of his mind with anger, Spike decides to end it by using a shotgun against her. But when he shows up at her house, Buffy is sitting outside, crying. So instead of trying to kill her like he originally intended, the big softy comfort her.
Xander: "Am I right, Giles?"
Giles: "I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening."
Glory is very serious when it comes to finding her key, and she's willing to take any means necessary. That includes creating some kind of snake demon who's mission is to find the key and going back to Glory to tell her where it is. Already stressed out because of her mom's illness, Buffy is worried about her little sister. Especially since her and Giles still aren't too sure of what Dawn is and what is her purpose. When they are attacked by the snake demon and Buffy realizes what the demon is for, she goes after it like a mad woman and won't stop until it's dead.
Willow: "You know what's weird?"
Tara: "Japanese commercials are weird."
Joyce's brain tumor is making her kinda wacky. But Buffy and Dawn still insist in taking her home when they hear that it will take longer before the doctors can operate. They don't want their mom to be all alone at the hospital. Meanwhile, an alien creature is attacking all the crazy people in town. Who is that creature going for next? You guessed it: Joyce.
Dawn: "When I was younger, I used to put my chopsticks in my mouth like this, and then Buffy would chase me around the house yelling, 'I'm the slayer, I'm going to get you!'"
Anya: "That's disturbing. You're emotionally scarred and will end up badly."
Buffy's dumbass boyfriend is cheating on her with vampire whores. Thinking this will get him on Buffy's good side, a lovesick Spike stop by her house in the middle of the night to show her what Captain Cardboard has been up to. Of course, the plan backfires on Spike. Not only is Buffy incredibly hurt by Riley's behavior, but she's also really pissed at Spike. She just assumes that he got off on hurting her. Jackass Riley dares showing his cheating face in front of the Slayer and give her an ultimatum. They fix things now, or he's leaving tonight. Buffy doesn't take ultimatums very nicely so there's now one less jackass in Sunnydale :::does the snoopy dance:::
Xander: "Are you talking to me hoping that I'll get so depressed that I'll impale myself on a fork right in front of you?"
Spike: "Lovely thought. If I don't hurt you myself, the chip wouldn't zap me. I could eat you that way. Beat the onion thing all to hell."
What happens when your girlfriend and best friend are jealous of each other and you leave them together to work out their differences? Bad things. But when you live on the Hellmouth, it gets worse. Anya and Willow are fighting over Xander--not literally since Willow is not interested in boys anymore--and what comes of it is a baby eating troll... who happens to be Anya's ex. Yep. Only on the Hellmouth.
Glory: "Buffy... If I wanted to fight, you could tell by the being dead already."
The Watcher's Council arrives in town with good and bad news. The good news? The know what Glory is. The bad news? They won't tell until Buffy proves that she's competent by going through a series of test and her friends answer a few questions about her. If she refuses, not only won't they tell her about Glory, but they also threaten to deport Giles. Did they forget who Buffy is and how strong minded she really is? Whatever they have to tell, they WILL have to play by her rules and tell her. You better believe it.
Buffy: "It's just like mine. It doesn't matter where you came from, or, or how you got here. You are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't."
Dawn is pissed off at all the secrets the Scoobies are keeping around her. She tired of everybody shutting up as soon as she enters a room and wonders about the weird looks they give her. She decides to investigate. As she sneaks out of the house, she comes face to face with Spike. Not wanting her to risk her life by wandering alone in the streets of Sunnydale at night, he tags along. But what they find out after breaking into the Magic Box leaves Dawn broken and confused about who she really is. What exactly is "A Key"? The big secret is out.
Harmony: "And you can say good-bye to this (pointing at her butt) because you're not gonna see it any more ever. Unless you run into me somewhere and it's me walking away from you. But even then ... I'll probably just ... you know ... back away."
After a little chat between sisters, Buffy finds out that Dawn thinks Spike has a crush on her. Buffy is not sure how much truth there is behind this, but she's still freaked. That would explain Spike's weird behavior. But it's not the only thing she has to worry about. After Spike's failed attempt at declaring his love for the Slayer, he tries something else. If the girl won't listen, well he'll just have to tie her up and make her listen. With Drusilla back in town, this could mean trouble.
SPIKE: "If you want me to leave, you can put your hands on my hot, tight little body and make me."
There is a strange girl in town. All she does is walk around asking for Warren. Who is this mysterious Warren, and who is that girl who's willing to do anything in order to find him? The response is disturbing. Warren happens to be a genius who had a hard time finding a date. What did he do? Created one out of plastic and microchips. One thing he didn't think about though. It's that this perfect girlfriend he made to love him wouldn't give up easily when he'd meet someone else.
Anya (crying): "I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why."
The unthinkable happened. When Buffy gets back home, it's to find the one person she loves most lying dead on the living room couch. Of all the demons she's fought over the years, all the apocalypses she averted, this has got to be the hardest, most painful moment of her young life.
Spike: "Care? Joyce was the only one of the lot of you that I could stand. I liked the lady. Understand, monkey boy? She was decent. She didn't put on airs. She always had a nice cuppa for me. And she never treated me like a freak."
Overcome with grief, Dawn deals the only way she can. By trying to bring her mother back from the dead. With a little help from her undead protector, Spike, she finds a spell. But when Buffy finds out, the sisters have a long overdue talk, and she tries to make Dawn come to term with her pain, and make her understand that she hurts just as much and everybody deals with pain in their own way but bringing back a zombie version of Joyce is not the best way.
Buffy: "What you did, for me, and Dawn ... that was real. I won't forget it."
Spike receives the robot he ordered from Warren: a perfect replica of his Slayer. If he can't have the real thing, this will have to do. The Scoobies see the robot and mistake her for the real Buffy. Meanwhile, Spike is taken by Glory's minions and tortured into making him tell her where the key is. He takes it like a man for Buffy's sake, and doesn't say a word. But the Scoobies don't trust that he didn't talk so Buffy dresses up as the buffybot and goes to him to find out.
Anya: "Totally unAmerican. Oh, and you know what else is unAmerican? French people."
Willow: "You don't say."
Out of ideas as of who the key is, Glory finally comes to the logical conclusion. It has to be the latest addition to the Slayer's friends. Tara. After getting into a fight with Willow, Tara decided to take a walk in the park to clear her head and has an unfortunate encounter with Glory. Of course, it doesn't take long for Glory to realize that she's not the key. But out of frustration, the hell god sucks Tara's mind.
Spike: "We'd already be somewhere if Captain Slowpoke would give up the wheel... Hey! Gramps! Bloody step on it!"
Giles: "Step on what? I've driven tricycles with more power."
It finally happened. Thanks to Tara's rambling, Glory knows that Dawn is the key. After a close call, Buffy comes to the only logical conclusion. They have to run. With Spike's help, she finds a van and the gang leaves town in a desperate attempt at evading the hell god. But the knights of Byzantum who are also after the key, catch up with them, forcing them to find refuge in an abandoned gas station (or something like that). Giles is severely wounded and needs medical attention and fast. So Buffy calls Ben, the medical student who took care of her mom. Little does she know that Ben is actually Glory. By calling him, she basically told Glory where to find them. The Hell God know has the key she needs to open to gates to her hellish dimension.
Spike: "Is everyone here very stoned?"
After losing her sister to Glory, Buffy goes into a state of catatonia. Nothing will snap her out of it. The gang takes her back to Sunnydale where Willow performs a spell to get into her mind hoping to be able to help her friend.
Kid: "But you're ... you're just a girl."
Buffy pauses in the doorway: "That's what I keep saying."
Now that Buffy is back in fighting mode, the Scoobies try to come up with a plan to fight Glory. They gather everything they can, which is not much, but still could work. With some magic from Willow, the buffybot, the troll's hammer and the Dagonshere, they're on their way to rescue Dawn. Buffy made Spike promise that he'd protect her sister and he'll be damned if he doesn't do the best he can to keep her safe. But sometimes, good intentions are not enough. Despite all their efforts, the gate is opened and it will take the ultimate sacrifice to save the world.
Season Sex (hehehe)
Season Four
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