WATCHING THE 'STORY'......by Coralynn

"I'd love to get their reactions when they discover that all 3 of them are on that ship!" Marilyn comments to Celeste, who smiles and says, "LET'S!"
"Let's what?"
"Let's read the Story and see if that part is on there yet!"
"Oh that's right! Let's!" The two women rush into the computer room where Eleanor is putzing around. She looks up at them as they enter the room, Celeste saying, "Let's get the Story online and see if it has Henry2, BB and Daniel on shipboard yet."
"I almost forgot!" Eleanor tells her and quickly brings up the Story. They all sit and read, laughing and commenting.
"In a bar, where else?" Eleanor says, "One thing I'm relieved about....none of them has a time travel coin. Those suckers are stuck on there. How many days at sea?"
"Many, many!" Celeste rubs her hands together in glee.


IT'S FIVE O'CLOCK...SOMEWHERE....by Terri

The three of them took their respective drinks over to a table. Billy Bob had taken the Dom Perignon from his room and planned on drinking it at the bar.
Daniel sat there. "I can't believe she did this to me! To us!"
Billy Bob drew out his note. "I got the ultimate kiss-off note."
He laid his note on the table. Henry pulled his out. So did Daniel. The three of them looked at each other.
"Swap?"
Swap!"
They all exchanged notes. "I can't believe this, Daniel! You really did that?"
"Henry--she was really only sixteen?"
"Hey, Montgomery! You really WERE the worst!"
Billy Bob signaled the bartender over. "Hey, Joe! It's a quarter to three. Just my friends and me. So set 'em up Joe...and keep them coming." Joe looked at the clock. "Sure. It's a quarter to three alright. In the afternoon."
Daniel said, "It's five o'clock somewhere...."
"Anyone know where this floating tub goes?" Daniel said. He ordered another three beers.
Henry got out a brochure. "This is not the Greece I know. Looks pretty interesting. May as well enjoy it. Rose paid for it."
"WHAT??" Daniel and Billy Bob yelled in unison.
Henry looked surprised. "Sure. She paid for it. Why?"
Daniel put his elbows on the table to prop his head up. "I paid for my share of the trip. We went Dutch treat."
Billy Bob snorted. "I've been had ROYALLY! The bitch not only got me to pay for it, she made me believe it was MY idea!"
The other two toasted their drinks to Billy Bob. "The winner...or loser, however you look at it!"
Henry leaned back in his chair and tipped backwards. He hurriedly straightened up. "Wonder how I'll explain the ripped bedspread on one side?"
Daniel laughed. "Tell them she was a real sheet-clutcher!"
They all three dissolved into laughter.
Daniel said, "Ya know, it IS kind of funny in a way...."
Billy Bob scowled. "Easy for you to say, I'm stuck paying for a woman who didn't show."
Daniel said, "What made you think she'd go with YOU after all the crap you pulled on her? Let's face it...the stuff I did REALLY bad only consisted of a weekend. YOU two were the long-term torturers. Henry---how many years did you have with her?"
Henry thought. "Will was three years old when she left me. I dunno--four years?"
Daniel said, "Four years of torture--for her--day in and day out."
Henry was indignant. "It wasn't so bad! She didn't die in childbirth or get the plague, did she? When smallpox broke out, I sent her to the country. If that isn't love, I don't know what is!"
Daniel turned his scorn to Billy Bob. 'And I know what YOU did! I was in the shadows every step of the way with you!" Billy Bob jumped up and grabbed Daniel by the collar. "What's THAT suppposed to mean?"
Daniel grabbed him by the collar also. "Hey! You got me to spy for you! And then you took my baby away from me and gave her YOUR name."
Billy Bob tightened his grip. "Are you still clinging to the scraps that she's YOUR baby?"
Henry stood up. "Gentlemen! Let's not fight! Don't you remember when we were together at my Court?"
Billy Bob loosened his grip on Daniel. He whirled on Henry. "That's right! YOU THREW US IN THE DUNGEON, YOU S.O.B!"
Daniel gasped, trying to get his air back. "Hey! Let's not fight, OK? If you think about it, I think we are stuck with each other on this trip. Anyone see 'Animal House'?"
Billy Bob nodded. "Yeah. I belonged to Delta Tau Chi."
Daniel grinned. "Ya know--this is like in that movie. ROAD TRIP! Only we are on a boat--sorry! SHIP!"
Henry sat there and ruminated. "That frat party we had at Court. Ahhhh....! Now THAT was fun!"
Billy Bob wandered over to a jukebox that was sitting in the corner. "Ya know, this bar is decorated like something from the '50's or '60's. This is an old Rockola jukebox." He perused the song selections. "Hmm...interesting. Very interesting."

Now let's keep in mind that our three cads have been drinking all afternoon. Heavy.

Billy Bob put a quarter in the jukebox. He grinned at the guys. "Remember this one?"
On came "Louie Louie".
And by the end of the evening, they had the entire bar line-dancing and splashing beer on each other. Yes, they were making the best of a bad situation.


BY MORNING LIGHT............by Coralynn

Daniel stirs and opens one eye. Where am I? I'm sleeping on the floor.....the floor?.....oh yeah, that's right. We passed out in BB's suite.
He thinks back to the night before and grins, Man! That was a blast! All those people line dancing and hooting, and the bartender trying to get us to quiet down. That bar will never be the same! "HEY, Henry! Wake up! BB, rise and shine!"
Nothing.
He stands up, and, after rediscovering his center of gravity after a few moments of weaving about, goes to the bathroom and splashes cold water on his face. Well, now, that doesn't help much, he thinks, I need food! Wonder where they keep the food on this tub.
He goes into the room in which BB is snoring away and yells, "I'M hungry! Let's find the food! Wake up!"
BB turns over and continues to sleep.
Daniel finds Henry on the couch in another room, and yells at him, "Henry! Let's go get some breakfast, I'm starving!"
Henry rises on one elbow and blinks his eyes. Where am I? Oh, yeah, we passed out in BB's suite. His eyes finally focus on Daniel, who is still demanding some food.
"Go get some then," he tells him, "And, if you wouldn't mind, could you bring some back here for me?"
"Awwww, come on Henry! I don't wanna go alone! Get up!"
"Very well, then," Henry sighs and attempts to stand, but quickly falls back onto the couch. Daniel reaches forward, grabs his arms and yanks him up. "Oh my, that is so much better!" Henry grumbles, as the room spins in front of his eyes.
Finally finding his equilibrium, he asks, "Where is the dining room anyway? We're supposed to eat there. Did we eat dinner there last night?"
"NO! We ate whatever the bar had, you know, peanuts, pretzels, junk like that!"
Henry shakes his head to clear it, "Now I remember. OK, let's proceed to the dining room."
They try one more time to rouse BB, to no avail, so the two of them proceed out of the suite into the hall. A nicely dressed couple is strolling by and stop to gape at the two rumpled men who have appeared in front of them.
"Where might the dining room be located?" one of the rumpled men asks.
"Down on deck 2," the woman answers as they hurry by.
"OK, Daniel, olde buddy, you ready to take on the dining room?"
Daniel winces, "We don't look very good, Henry. Sleeping in our clothes might not have been the best move."
"Too bad! You woke me up, insisted you were starving, now we're going to the dining room, end of discussion!" Henry tells him imperiously.
They approach the entrance to the dining room, after a quick elevator ride, and see people eating and talking and obviously having a good time.
"SEE?" Henry gestures into the room, "Now, where is our table? I don't suppose it makes any difference. Here, Daniel, let's put ourselves down at this one right by the door."
A waiter approaches the table and asks if they have their seating assignment correctly marked.
"This table is fine, young man, now go get us some food!" Henry says in a commanding voice.
"No, sir, you don't understand! You've been assigned a specific table. You can't sit anywhere you want."
Henry's eyebrows rise to touch his hairline, "And whom to you think you're addressing, young sprout?"
The waiter is becoming nervous, but asks, "Your name?"
"Henry Plantagenet!" comes the answer.
The waiter goes to the check-in podium and runs his finger down the list of names. Oh yes, here it is....table 23.
He again approaches the table where Daniel and Henry are seated and clears his throat, "Sir, you are assigned to table 23. I'll be glad to escort you there."
"What number is this table?"
"This is table five, sir. Table 23 is ever so much better. More private, and not close to the kitchen. Far and away the most desirable table in the dining room. Now, if you'll just follow me..." the waiter takes a few tentative steps in the direction of the other table, then looks back to see the two men at table 5 not budging an inch.
Daniel whispers to Henry, "What the heck, Henry, let's take the other table.....a table is a table after all, and I'm starving."
"As you've already told me, Daniel. But I'm a king, and no one tells me at which table to sit. Nobody. No. We are sitting here and that's final."
The waiter disappears, but comes back a few minutes later with a rather official man in some sort of uniform, who is older, bigger, and whose voice is more authoritatve.
The man smiles at Daniel and Henry and starts out being diplomatic, "Is there a problem, sirs?"
"No problem!" Henry answers in a voice very bit as low and sonorous as the man in the uniform. "Can someone please bring us our food? That's all we want."
"But you're seated at the wrong table, sir. Your table is 23, and, I must add, the most desirable table in the dining room. It isn't even close to the kitchen. Now, if you'll please follow me..."
"How many times do I have to tell you people, THIS is our table. We eat here!" Henry is irate.
The voice level has gone up many decibels, and people at surrounding tables pause to stare. A man from a nearby table joins the man in the uniform and asks, "You need any help, Captain?"
Daniel and Henry see the 'Captain' and the man move away and confer in whispers. Daniel is nervous as well as hungry now. Drat! Why couldn't I have come down here with BB instead of Henry?
The man in the uniform walks away, while the other man comes over to the table and tells them, "Move it! Now!"
Daniel is half way out of his chair, but Henry pulls him back down.
Seeing that Henry is the problem, not the other man, the big man from the other table, yanks Henry up and forcibly walks him to the entrance of the dining room. Daniel follows in his wake.
He glares into Henry's face and says, "We don't need people like you in the dining room, buddy. Ya wanna sit wherever you want? The cafeteria is on deck 3. GO!"

When the guys get to deck three and see the spread of appetizing food, they grab trays and load up. "This is incredible! Look, see? It says over there that you can eat here any time you want to. Hey, does that mean we could eat six times a day, do ya think?" Daniel says all in a rush.
"Very possibly. This does look delicious, I agree. Think we should take some up to Billy Bob? He has to get up eventually."
"I have an idea!" Daniel smiles, "Let's take all our food up to the suite!"
"I suppose. Can you fit enough for both you and BB on your tray, Daniel?"
"Sure!" Daniel places several cups of coffee, two plates of scrambled eggs, a big stack of toast, a high stack of pancakes with many packets of maple syrup, several danish, and two large glass of orange juice on the tray.
The two men proceed to the elevator which is just stopping at deck three. "Going up?" Henry asks the four people already on the elevator. They nod yes, then frown as they see the two men, laden with trays of food and drink step on, the cups rattling precariously on Daniel's tray.
He grins and tries to rearrange things so that the tray is balanced, but all that serves to do is spill coffee down his shirt front. The woman standing nearest him moves away as far as she can. He grins at her, "Sick friend upstairs. Gotta take him his breakfast."
"For a sick person he sure has a huge appetite!" one of the other women remarks.
"Some of this is for me!" Daniel explains as one of the glasses of orange juice tips over and spills completely out on the floor. The other three people move to the only dry spot left, which leaves them huddled in the far corner. When the doors open at level 5, Henry and Daniel get out and walk quickly to the suite, with the voices of the enraged elevator passengers yelling, "HEY! Aren't you going to clean up this mess?"
Henry winks at Daniel, "That's what the peasant class is for, aye, Daniel?"
"For sure, Henry!" he grins as they get the door open and step inside just as BB is about to open it to go out, and collide with him, spilling what's left of the contents of the trays all over the floor of the room.


WEB OF DECEIT....by Terri

'YOU IDIOTS!! Look what you did to my shirt! I swear to God, Bobby Joe and Jameson on their worst day had more brains than the two of you!" Billy Bob stood there dripping orange juice and coffee and he had scrambled eggs in his shirt pocket.
Daniel got indignant. "Hey! We tried twice to wake you up. We were one step away from dumping a pitcher of water on you!"
Billy Bob brushed toast crumbs off his pants. "This is just great! Butter side in! And don't think of trying that pitcher routine on me. SHE did that a few times. Must have been some unconscious wish to drown me!"
He turned on his heel and looked in his closet for fresh clothes. He turned to Daniel and Henry and said, "Don't the two of you have your own staterooms to go to?"
Daniel plopped down on the large bed. "Yes. Mine is not much bigger than a closet. It's OK if you have someone to snuggle with but it's claustrophobic otherwise."
Henry shrugged. "Mine has a ripped bed. And your room is ever so much nicer!"
Daniel looked in Billy Bob's medicine cabinet. "Got any aspirin?"
"NO! And get out of there."
Henry looked down at the floor. "What's this?"
"What's what?"
"This!" Henry picked up a few rose petals. Billy Bob got all embarrassed. He snarled, "It's nothing! Nothing at all!"
Daniel was over to the CD player. "OH, HO! Look at this!" He popped the disc out. "Music for Lovers to Romance By!--Various Artists!"
Henry looked at the table. "Hey, your bucket here is swimming in water!"
Daniel started to roar with laughter. "What we got here is a big-time seduction game plan! The spider here---" and he nodded in BB's direction "---got caught in his own web!"
Billy Bob looked triumphantly at them. "And I have the money for it, too!"
Daniel said smugly, "Money can't buy you love. Can it? Besides, John is pulling in a pretty penny and so is Rosamond. Those two must gross six figures between the fitness center and their acting jobs."
Billy Bob said, "Too bad Rose didn't stick with me. She'd have a recording contract. Had a helluva voice for duets. And we could have been in the Governor's Mansion within the next ten years. Don't suppose that will happen now with all the scandal attached to my name." Danie clapped him on the back. "Aw....if Teddy Kennedy can do it, so can you!"

CONFESSION...GOOD FOR THE SOUL.....by Terri

Rose and John sat at the top of the mountain enjoying a hot buttered rum on an outside deck. The sun shone brightly , keeping a bitter winter chill at bay. John looked at his watch. "Looks like Will is going to be in ski school for another hour. What time do you have to pick Julie up at the daycare nursery?"
"About the same time. Tell you what--you pick up Will, I'll get Julie and we can meet in that lounge--the one with the fireplace."
"Tomorrow I'll show you how to do those moguls."
"I don't THINK so! Where did you ever learn to ski so well, John?"
"Well, all that winter you were married to Montgomery, I had weekends to kill so Marty and I went to Vermont. He's got a condo there, too. It's close enough if you want to run up for a quick weekend."
"You certainly have a natural ability for it. Wonder how Will is doing?" John looked out the window and grinned. "Wonder no more! Look! There he is with his ski school!"
They watched as Will deftly got off the chairlift but wiped out at the bottom of the slight run. He picked himself off and put his skis back on. Rose shook her head. "Child shows no fear. Bet he'll be worn out."
John looked at her rum. "You going to finish that?"
Rose shook her head. "Be my guest." She got a faraway look in her eyes as she stared off in the distance.
John sighed. "OK, Rose, I know that look. Something is on your mind."
Rose came back to the present. "Nothing. I was just wondering what a cruise would be like."

Rose picked up Julie and John met Will at the ski school entrance. Will was exuberant, his face wind-burned. He took off his goggles and Rose and John dissolved into laughter every time they looked at him. Will looked at them. "What? What? What's so funny?"
Rose looked at him and burst out laughing. "It-it's just that---" she giggled again. Every time John tried a straight face, he lost it. Finally he rumpled Will' s hair and said, "Son, you have what is commonly known as..'coon eyes!'"
Will looked in the mirror and saw his face was windburned except for the white rings that were around his eyes where his goggles were. He threw his hat down. "Aw...hell!"
Rose and John both looked at each other and sighed audibly. "Uncle Daniel!" they both said.

Rosamond was putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher when John came out of the bedroom.
"This daddy stuff is not too hard. I just sat Will down and told him that just because Uncle Daniel uses that kind of language, it is not acceptable for him. I think he understood. But to tell you the truth, I think I would have said it too if I had 'coon eyes!'"
Rose flicked the switch and turned the kitchen light off. John patted a place on the floor. "Come on, let's have a glass of wine and watch the snow come down."
The fire in the fireplace flickered and danced. John piled pillows on the floor.
"It's so quiet. So much better than the racket in the Big House. How much longer until we can move into our own place, hon?"
"Mid-march. Murph is working as fast as he can but we don't want to compromise quality for speed."
John stretched out and spread some cheese on some crackers. "El is still gung-ho on that Caribbean cruise. Beth and Rog are going, it sounds like fun."
Rosamond turned to John with troubled eyes. "A cruise?"
John said, "Personally, I think I would like a cruise of the Mediterranean or Greece. It's supposed to beautiful there. "
"John? I did something. At the moment it seemed like a good idea. But now I don't know. Eleanor kind of egged me on."
She proceeded tell John exactly what she did and how she went about it. " So what you are telling me is that at this very moment, Daniel, Henry and Billy Bob are each out to sea. Alone. Expecting you to show up." "Obviously not anymore. I gave each of them a kiss-off letter, reinterating their sins and telling them why I won't be joining them. I'm sorry. I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now I am not so sure."
John tried to keep a straight face. The more he tried, the more he laughed until he couldn't stop. Rose couldn't help smiling. Then she too was laughing.
John exclaimed, "Damn, that felt good! I sure would have liked to see them searching the sleazy motels for your body!"
"So you're not mad at me?"
"Well, just a little. I wish you had come to me. Rose, don't keep any secrets from me again!"
Rose threw her arms around John and kissed him. "I promise! No more secrets!"
John stood up and stretched out. He yanked her to her feet. "Come on! Let's make the most of that beautiful moonlight shining through the skylight!" And with that they let the embers die out.


1st BASE, 2nd BASE, 3d BASE.....HOME!......by Terri

After breakfast the three of them looked over the rail at the ocean. "What do you want to do, BB?" Daniel asked.
Billy Bob gazed into the horizon. "I'd like to make her walk the plank. That's what I'd like."
Henry said, "Yeah, good idea. But it won't erase the pain."
Daniel said, "It's a hole in your soul. A void."
Billy Bob turned from the rail and leaned on it. "What IS it about that woman anyhow? Why are three--four if you count John--men so besotted with her? She's no different from any other woman I've known--and believe me, I've known plenty!"
Daniel popped chewing gum in his mouth. "Not as many as me."
Billy Bob retorted, "That's what you think!"
"That's what I KNOW! Ever take on the entire town?" Daniel boasted. "And don't forget, sonny boy, I'm your great-whatever grandfather so you be respectful of your elders!"
Billy Bob laughed in spite of himself. "I got a double dose. I got Gwinnett AND Dupre! I just thought of something! Does that make Rosamond my AUNT?"
Daniel and Billy Bob both dissolved into laughter.
Henry said, "Is that legal?"
Daniel said, "Sure--relations by marriage." He realized what he said and the two started laughing again.
Henry folded his arms on the rail. "I don't get it. I had Eleanor as my wife. You see her as bossy. But in her heyday she was a match for me. Very lively. VERY! A match of wits. Things were going good. When I went to war against the Welsh, and a disastrous campaign it was, I stopped in at Chester castle. Rosamond came on to me there.."
"WHAT??" "YEAH, HENRY! In your dreams!"
Henry grew defensive. "It was Midsummer's feast, I had too much to drink."
Daniel grew pensive. "I can't do anything to hurt my brother. I've done stuff to him that even I am ashamed of. John--in spite of everything--believes in me. He thinks I'll make something of myself yet. Can't let him know that I am lusting after his wife!"
Billy Bob still gazed over the ocean. "How many more days do we have left?"
"More than I fear to count, I'm afraid."
Daniel looked at the two of them with scorn. "I don't know about you, but I intend to make the best use out of this floating singles bar. Bet I score before either of you get to first base!"
Henry snorted, "OH HO! RIGHT!! You couldn't hold on to Rose for longer than a weekend. And she was easy..well, not EASY but you know what I mean. I'll bed a wench...babe...before the two of you can say, ' Hi, my name is..."
Billy Bob held up his hand. "You two! Might as well be the Katzenjammer kids! I guarantee by this evening I'll have a white towel hung on my doorknob!"
Daniel and Henry looked at each other. "A white towel....?" "So? Anyone can do that.."
Billy Bob was exasperated. "I keep forgetting the two of you really AREN'T my frat brothers. A white towel means 'Scram! I have a chick in here!'"

Daniel looked defiant. "Care to make it interesting, oh grandson of mine? Come on! Show old Grandpappy how it is done, whippersnapper!"
Henry got in the middle of them. "Care to wager a bet, gentlemen? The one who wins a fair lady's heart--and whatever it is she offers!--WINS Time limit though--has to be done by eight o' clock tonight!"
Billy Bob looked interested. "And what are the stakes?"
Henry looked at them. "Since I have no money, how about what really counts? RESPECT!"
Daniel added, "And an admission that said winner is the stud of all time. Agreed?"
Henry and Daniel put their hands on top of each others. Henry said, "Montgomery? You in or out?"
Daniel made chicken noises softly. Billy Bob marched over and put his hand in.
"YEAH!" They all three yelled. "And may the best man win!"

Daniel, Billy Bob and Henry sat at a table in the lounge.
"How are we going to trust each other?" Daniel said. "Billy Bob replied, "I think we are all on the honor system. Scoundrels that we are with women, there is an unspoken bond of brotherhood. Besides, we'll be tailing each other, working the same room."
Henry frowned. "Won't we crowd ourselves? I mean, won't we all be trying to woo the same fair maiden?"
Daniel kicked back in his chair. "So? What's you point? We've all tried to win the same fair maiden--Rosamond. And all of us at the same time. She sure shot us down!", he admitted with a tinge of admiration in his voice.
Billy Bob had to admit, "She sure had it down to split-second timing. How did she work it all the way from Colorado?"
Henry was thinking. "I'll bet she had help---and I'll bet I know from who! GENTLEMEN! Are we going to take this lying down?"
Daniel said, "What are we supposed to do? We've been hosed, baby! HOSED!"
Billy Bob said, "We'll get even. When the time is right."
Daniel laughed mirthlessly. "Will there ever be a right time?"

They proceeded to the pool area. Henry covered his chest with his arms crossed in front of him. "I don't know, guys--I feel naked!"
"That's the way you are supposed to feel, Hal! I'm glad you could fit into my extra swim trunks!" Billy Bob said.
Daniel grinned. "Ah, the pool area! It's like getting a candy bar without the wrapper!"
Henry shied away. "I don't know, guys."
Daniel grinned and started singing, "He was afraid to come out of the locker...." to the tune of Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny....well, you got it! When they reached the pool, there was nothing but sky above them. Daniel sighed in satisfaction. "Look at all the well-oiled bodies! Like a motor on a '56 Chevy! Now stand back, observe and learn, men!" Billy Bob looked at his watch. "You have fifteen minutes. We each take turns. And..GO!!"

Daniel sauntered over to a couple of women, plopped himself down next to them on a chaise lounge and lowered his sunglasses to stare appreciatively at them. "I say, babes, you look like well-oiled machines. If you need an oil change, I'll be glad to put you up on my lift..."
He was immediately rewarded with a mai-tai on his head. The umbrella was crammed in his ear. The chassis in question got up and moved.
Billy Bob and Henry were standing at the bar rolling on the floor in laughter. And so it went on for Daniel for the next fifteen minutes. He came back to the guys soaking wet with maraschino cherries stuck in his hair and ears. He reached in his swimsuit trunks pocket and laid his bounty on the table. Sadly he said, "I must have at least twenty of these damn parasols in my pocket! OK, Hank---let's see how YOU fare!
"I don't know, Daniel...if YOU got dumped on, how do you think I will do?"
Billy Bob pushed Henry forward. "GO! Jeez, man, you conquered the Welsh, took Aquitaine, went after Picts and Scots and Saxons....and you are afraid of the skirts? I AM disappointed in you! Guess you aren't so brave without a dungeon backing you up! You're nothing without that sword!"
Henry drew himself up indignantly. "Oh yeah? Just watch me! Daniel--which wenches...babes! excuse me!--did you hustle so I don't overlap with you? After all, it isn't fair to get an automatic disqualification." Daniel pointed to the starboard side of the pool deck. "I took everyone on that side. Must be a bad side. If I could just try once more.."
Billy Bob shook his head. "No. Your fifteen minutes of fame are up!"
Henry said, "If I could just have my tunic..."
"NO!" BB and Daniel both yelled.
Henry thought, Yes, I AM KING! And these are just wenches..babes! Babes! I have to remember that...wonder what Daniel did to strike out? He walked over to a pretty woman sipping a tropical drink at the bar. "I say, what are you drinking?"
The woman smiled prettily and said, "It's a Golden Rita." Henry reached over and grabbed a handful of peanuts. "How about a spot of rollicking?" Before he knew it, peanuts, shells and all, were being flung in his face. Daniel had taken a sip of his beer and sprayed it all over the bartop. Billy Bob grinned and shook his head.
Henry shrugged and moved down the line. The woman sitting there talkiing to her friend was sitting on a barstool, foot dangling and twirling her keys. Henry smiled nicely and asked, "Is that the key to your chastity belt or the key to my heart?"
The woman turned to him and said, "Beat it, I'm a lesbian!"
Henry looked quizzically. "I take it that's a no."
His finall chance, seeing his fifteen minutes were running out, he moved on to a well-stacked 6' Amazon woman. "My, what a fine set of chalices you have!" She began screaming, "GEORGE! GEORGE!!"
Henry scrammed before George came to beat him to a pulp. He hung his head and said, "Alas! It was a draw. Not even a glimmer of wanting to become the King's mistress. Let me have one more chance!" Daniel and BB looked at each other. "OK--one more time. We're spotting you because you aren't used to being on the prowl and having to do all the work. Go for it!"
Henry walked up to a young woman and said, "Wench, would you like to have a bastard with me?"
Before he knew it, he was floating in the pool. Deep end.

Daniel and Billy Bob walked over to Henry who was trying to scale the tile to get out. They both extended their hands and pulled him out. "OK--it's Montgomery's turn."
Billy Bob looked around. "Looks like the two of you have managed to gross out every woman here. It's not fair! I have to move to greener pastures. How about the gambling casino?"
Daniel said, "Oh, no! Not fair! You get to dress up!"
Billy Bob got indignant. "I think it's a fair trade-off! You two are well-built specimens! You got to advertise your wares!"
Henry and Daniel looked at each other and shrugged. "Ok, I guess."
They waited in the hallway while Billy Bob changed. When he came out, they said, "Hey! No fair! You get that after-shave!" Henry reached over and looked behind BB's back. "AND HE'S GOT A FAT BANKROLL OF MONEY, TOO!"
"I DO NOT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Billy Bob hollered. Daniel and Henry got him down on the floor. They were wrestling him for his wad of money. Two lookers walked by and one whispered to the other one, "What did I tell you? All the good looking ones are gay!"
Billy Bob glared at them. "Thanks alot, guys! I'm out of the closet--and I was never IN!"
Daniel held up his hand, palm out. "No fair, BB! Money is honey! You may as well stuff catnip in your pockets!"
Henry agreed. "Remember? Money can't buy you love. We didn't have any bait. You can't either!"
"Now how am I going to have a reason for the betting tables?"
Henry said, "OK--a ten dollar cap!"
"TEN BUCKS? Why don't you just castrate me and send me into a harem? NO WAY!"
Daniel said, "Twenty bucks. That's it!"
Billy Bob snatched his money back. "OK--twenty it is!"
Daniel said, "...and we'll be watching you!"
Daniel and Henry watched Billy Bob saunter up to the roulette table. There was a busty blonde watching. Daniel whispered to Henry, "I think..and I am afraid to admit it...but it looks like he's going to win!"
They stood at the sidelines when Billy Bob continued to chat up the woman. With thirty seconds to spare, Billy Bob put his arm around the woman and they began to leave the casino.
Daniel and Henry watched as Montgomery walked past them. He winked at them and put his arm possessively while he walked by them.
Daniel and Henry stood with their mouths open. Daniel whispered, "This I have to see!"
Henry shrunk back. "Daniel, this is NOT a spectator sport! More of a participation..."
Daniel said, "Shush!" They followed at a discreet distance.
"Look!" They hid behind a pillar and watched as Billy Bob unlocked his door. His lady friend was putting her hand lightly on his arm. The door opened and then closed quietly. Then, as Daniel and Henry were watching in awe, Billy Bob's hand came out and put a white towel on the door knob.

"Well, it looks like we owe Billy Bob the respect. Looks like he is the top scorer." Henry said.
Daniel sat down on the deck. "AW.....HELL!!"

Within three minutes the door was flung open. Busty came barreling out, her bra strap drooping down off her shoulder and her skirt twisted. She carried her shoes and her hair was disheveled. "DON'T YOU COME NEAR ME! FORGET YOU EVER SAW ME! I NEVER IN ALL MY BORN DAYS...NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED.....!"
She was totally incoherent, she was so mad. As she marched down the deck, Daniel and Henry scrambled to reach Billy Bob's door. He stood there forlornly, running his hands through his hair. The other two barged into the suite. There was a bottle of champagne opened and the bed was slightly rumpled.

Daniel laughed. "How far did you get?"
Billy Bob mumbled, "First base."
"First base? That's all? What happened?"
Billy Bob said, "I don't want to talk about it."
Henry and Daniel continued to badger him until Montgomery sighed and said, "We came back here, I opened a bottle of champagne. She got real friendly. So we started to make out. It got slightly hot and heavy."
"Yeah? Then what?"
Billy Bob put his head down shamedly and mumbled something again. "Speak up, man!" "Yeah, don't hold out on us!"
Billy Bob blurted out. "I said, 'I LOVE YOU, ROSAMOND!"
Daniel roared with laughter. "Talk about your smoke from a distant fire....!"
Henry clapped Billy Bob on the back and said, "Tomorrow is another day..or night...for the three of us! Onward and forward!"

.....A ROCKIN' THANKSGIVING............by Coralynn

The announcement comes through load and clear over the ship's P.A. system:
"This is Thanksgiving Day. We will endeavor to present you with the full accoutrement of the Holiday. Special decorations, a meal that takes you back to your childhood, and special entertaiment will make this festive occasion one to be remembered for years to come. The schedule of events is posted in several key locations around the ship. Thank you."
"What in thunderation is 'Thanksgiving Day'?" Henry asks the other two men, "And why should we be thankful, we of all people on this cruise from hell!"
"Ahhh come on, Henry! It hasn't been all bad. Sure, you struck out with the ladies, but then you are rather rusty on your courting skills after all. When you were King, all you had to say was "you!" and it was done. That doesn't work anymore." Daniel tells him.
"We have yet to see Greece, too, Henry, which should be wonderful," BB adds.
"Pshaw!" Henry scoffs, then sits down quickly, "I say, did you feel that?"
"What?!"
"The boat seems to be rocking back and forth."
BB goes to the window and looks out, "Well, we're in open water, and the ocean is rougher out here. I feel some rocking as well. I'm sure it's nothing to be concerned about. These ships do this route regularly."
Daniel stands still, but is soon listing to the right, "HEY! You're right, Henry, this tub is definitely on a roll!"
"Well, something must be done!" Henry says with determination as he picks up the phone and calls the captain's office. "Yes, this is Henry Plantagenet on deck five......I would like to know if you can control the wobbling the ship is currently doing............yes, it's making me sick to my stomach..........oh?........where?..........OK, down on deck two in the tobannists shop. That's an odd place for it..........very well." he hangs up.

"Seems they sell motion sickness pills in a shop down on deck two. Good to know," he announces.
"We won't need those!" BB dismisses the issue, "I'd like to know what events they have scheduled for today. They said it would remind us of our childhoods. Well, Henry, you didn't have Thanksgiving in the 12th century, being an American holiday the way it is, and Daniel, do you recall celebrating it?"
"Never heard of it in 1640 OR 1650 Southold!" Daniel replies. "You're the only one who knows what it's all about, BB. Yeah, go see what they have planned. I'll come with you!"
"Me, too!" Henry follows them out the door and down the hall to where a large poster has the day's events explained.

"A-ha! A stage show tonight.......7 pm.......in the theater.....they have a theater on this tub?" Daniel is surprised. "We can eat our Thanksgiving feast in either the dining room, or in the various cafeterias. Since you've been banned from the dining room, Henry, I vote for the cafterias. Ohhhhh and the people who eat in the dining room have to dress formally. That should be fun to see!"
"We won't get to see it, though, thanks to Henry!" BB grumbles.
"You don't have to go into the dining room to see it, BB. There's a lounge area just outside it and if we sit there, we can watch the snooty people go in. We can decide which woman is the most doglike, and ya know, stuff like that."
Henry grips the metal rail on the wall and moans, "Sure hope this pitching and tossing ceases by that time. I thought the idea of a cruise was a crazy idea, even told Rose it was a crazy idea, but did she listen? Noooo!"
"Sure you did!" BB claps Henry on the back and winks at Daniel.

The ship has pictures of turkeys all over the walls, plus Pilgrims sitting at tables laden down with food. Every time Henry's eyes pass over one of these pictures, his stomach rolls. Food! Who can eat?!
They manage to get to the cafeteria after weaving all over the hallways, being thrown from one side to the other in a ceaseless motion. As they take trays and eyeball the various selections, Henry's face is actually turning green. The other two men have tuned out all Henry's knvetching, and eagerly ask for large helpings of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and the like.
Henry, on the other hand, orders diet ginger ale, since one of the stewards advised him that ginger ale sometimes settles an upset stomach.
The three men weave and sway their way to an empty table and plop down in the seats. The large windows by their table show the huge waves that are responsible for the ship's excess motion.
"Land! That's the way you travel!" Henry says loudly, causing others nearby to look at him and frown. "Why don't they warn you about this before you step foot onto one of these floating devices of torture?"
"Shut up, Henry!" Daniel says sharply, "You're spoiling the fun!"
Daniel and BB are eagerly eating their meal, and in short order, are ready for dessert.
"I'll fetch the pie, which kind do you want BB? Henry?"
"Get me mince and pumpkin and if they have apple, one of those as well," BB requests.
Daniel looks at Henry, who waves his hand in front of his green face, a gesture Daniel understands, and he goes off to fetch the pies.
He's back shortly with a tray laden down with plates full of various pies. Placing BB's on the table, he dives into his.
A man wearing a bright green suit, sitting three tables over, stands and announces, "Let's all take turns telling what we're most grateful for!"
Many others agree and look to him for instructions. "Let's start with that table," the man gestures toward the table where our three are seated. They duck their heads and shake them negatively.
"I'll start, then, and you men can follow. First, I'm grateful for having taken this cruise which is better than I'd anticipated. From now on this is the only way I'm going to travel...." (applause)......."then I'm grateful for my wife, Linda, who has born and raised 12 children....."(gasps then applause)"........and has never questioned my authority as head the family"......(applause from the men, glowers from the women, ".....and finally, I'm thankful that I live in a country where, if we disapprove of another country's leader, we feel justified in bombing them back to the stone age..." (applause and booing)....."Now, " gesturing again to our guys, "Your turn!"
"I feel grateful for the food, Amen!" Daniel stands, says this and sits down.
BB rolls his eyes, stands and says, "Ditto."
All eyes are on Henry, who glares around the room at everyone and tries to make his exit before he's subjected to any more humilation. He weaves his way toward the entrance to the hall in which the bank of elevators is located, pushes the UP button, and when the elevator doors open, throws up all over the elevator floor.

Thanksgiving back in Westchester County (link on that page back to this one.)


SLOPESIDE.........by Terri

John helped Rosamond wrap the leftovers of their turkey dinner. She sighed. "It doesn't seem the same." John put the bowls in the refridgerator. "I know, honey, but aren't you having a good vacation?"
She burst out crying. "I want my daddy!" John took her into his arms. "Darling, we can't go back to the 12th century right now, we have the kids..."
Rose wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. "Not Wallace Clifford! My other daddy! I WANT WILLIAM!" and she burst into a fresh round of tears.
John groaned. "This isn't one of those PMS-things, is it, Rose?"
"This is supposed to be a time of family and togetherness."
John smoothed her hair. "Honey, I'm your family! We're together!"
She pulled away and took the pumpkin pie out of the freezer. "Oh, I'm not complaining, darling. I just miss...everyone!"
Will ran into the kitchen excitedly. "Mommy! Daddy! Come quick! It-it's Julie!"
Rose dropped her dish towel and ran into the room, John hot on her heels. They expected the worst, Julie falling into the fireplace or choking on a turkeybone.
Will stood proudly in the living room. "LOOK!"
Julie stood in the middle of the room. By herself. John was grinning. He whispered, "Rose? Want to help her?"
Rose shook her head. "You, love. Make it a daddy-daughter thing." she whispered.
John walked carefully into the living room and got down on his knees in front of Julie. She stood there like she didn't know what she was supposed to do now. John whispered, "Come on, Princess! Take a step forward..." He held his arms out and wiggled his fingers. Julie stood there with her finger in her mouth, and let go of the ottoman that she was clutching. She carefully put one foot in front of the other and...took two steps towards John and immediately fell on her rump. John smiled proudly and scooped her up in his arms. "Did you see that? SHE WALKED! SHE WALKED!" Will jumped up and down, his 'coon eyes' shining. Rose was smiling broadly. John said, "Let's call the gang! It will be great to hear them, even if we are going home in a couple days!"
They called the house and got Bess on the phone. The news of Julie's walking was met with cheers and idle chit-chat was exchanged. When Eleanor got on the phone, Rose asked her, "Have you heard any fall-out about you know what and you know whos?"

Eleanor said, "No, but we had a strange manifestation. A whole flock of Titanicians--I guess that is what you would call them---showed up in our back yard. Looks like that no good Wanda Sue has found her soul-mate in Sally Jennings. I curse the day we ever brought her back! When are the vagabond travelers supposed to dock?"
Rose said, "I believe it was December 6th or 7th. And when they get done, they will either bless me or curse me!"
Eleanor laughed. "They should be grateful you picked such an exotic place! I mean, you could have just sent them to Cozumel and be done with it! Aside from that, how is the vacation coming?"
Rose said, "Wonderful! We have our first family vacation--and I love it! Oh, El! This is what I wanted my entire life. My husband and kids." El laughed. "Brace yourself! John said he wanted an even dozen kids. Gotta go!"
CLICK!
"Hello? Hello? Eleanor? Bring that back...what did you say?...hello?"
John said, "Trouble with the connection, darling?"
Rose hung up, perturbed. "Yes. A bad connection! I could have sworn I heard her say.....no, impossible!"
And with that, they concluded a Colorado Thanksgiving.

on to next part of STORY
Back to Table of Contents
View My Guestbook Sign My Guestbook