An inspiring painter,writer and photographer
She may be an actress but she's still pretty incredible
Here is my poetry:
Come child come and sit with me
Let me tell you
Of the gore and blood that infects my body
The plague
The plague of years without him.
Sitting on a faded cotton couch
scars running from this vein
to this one
And back again to
my tattered heart.
The severed tongue I lick my own tears with
Detached by so much misery
So much sadness.
In this heartless, cold room, heartless as an old woman
An old woman like me.
If I saw him again child,
like I see him now in your eyes
the blood in my chest would surely
burst from this decaying body.
and YOU
and when you smile
Its like I’m slitting my wrists
and blood is running onto my sneakers
and into the grass.
and you always liked blood.
You traced your veins with ink
and showed them to people like trophies.
(and you wanted kudos for your self-interest)
and I was the sick one
and I was the hurtful one.
and you thought it was all me
Only me.
and I think you wanted
To hurt me just a little more
Than you should’ve
(putting out cigarettes on my legs wouldn’t have been as painful)
and on your back you tattooed
Angel wings
and I thought it was just like you to believe
That you were a gift from God
In a box with a red bow
stuck with glue.
and you said I was the lucky one
To love a man with wings
and I pointed to my bruises and
the scar across my chest
and stayed.
I stayed with you.
Is your life so smudged by tears
That you fail to know my face?
My voice?
Me with the steel and twine wings
And the severed tongue?
You and your plumes
So much more brilliant than my own.
After the storm came,
the days became too short,
Too long...
Until time began to crack
and I could only measure my time without you
In single, solitary fragmented moments:
The smell of your hair.
The look in your eyes,
Your hands.
Barbwire stuck in my mouth
And it’s because of you
It’s always because of you.
When we were young,
We played on your iron bars
And your netted hammock.
I never thought a boy like you
Could be so hurtful.
How much pain can you inflict on one person
Before you, yourself break?
You were supposed to rescue me
From this perpetual state of longing.
But you sunk into my pores,
stole the very breath of me
And made me worse than I was.
I promised I wouldn’t be a victim
Of your disregard again
But I was wrong.
I thought you’d be different somehow
And remember my fragility.
You had this way of making me
Believe I was nothing.
I would love to tear you apart
And cut you up,
Watch your tears soak the carpet.
Maybe then, you’d realize that you do torture
. And I have not escaped unscathed.
please leave comments in the guest book
Whoever said the first word would win a medal
I didn’t want it, neither did he.
So we stood,
Clammy hands,
I tugged at my shorn hair,
He looked down, adjusting his glasses.
My voice cracked as I began to speak,
How can you talk to such a beauty?
“I’ll see you.”
He looked up with shining eyes.
In my offered hand I said what I could not
out loud.
‘ Its so sweet that you remember that I don’t like the color
purple,
I’m still struggling to remember your middle name.
I really don’t mind being touched by your hands, pulsating
aches radiate across my ribcage.
I know I can somehow survive being near you.
When I leave tonight, im going to wait for you outside in
The darkness, until you come out and whisper,
“Be my girl?”
“Always,” I’ll say “Always.”
And so he encircled my hand with his, we both smiled,
Time slowed to an almost imperceptible rate.
We both knew that we could bloom under that feeling.
I leave, sliding out of the glass doors
My blood pounding with regret.
I could not say it out loud.
