Which Evil Criminal are You? Congratulations, you're Charles Manson! Mad as a hatter and friend of Beach Boy Dennis Wilson, you believe that the Beatles song Helter Skelter is indicative of a coming race war, where the "blackies" will win. You also consider yourself a talented folksinger. You have amassed a group of female followers known as The Family, who perform killings for you and look upon you as if you were Jesus Christ. You have sex with each and every one of them, and encourage them to have sex with each other, but they're most famous for killing pregnant actress Sharon Tate. If you wish, you can proudly tell the world that you wrote a Beach Boys song and killed Roman Polanski's wife with the following fine graphic:

Take the Affliction Test Today! ok, i'm really syph, but shhhhhh, don't tell.

Which Famous Homosexual are you?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey Which Famous Homosexual Are You? Eleanor Roosevelt! Nice to see you. A Roosevelt yourself, you married your fifth cousin Franklin; despite the obvious incestuous overtones, your six kids were happy and healthy. When Franklin got elected, you became perhaps the most controversial first lady ever - you spoke out for the rights of women; for the rights of the poor; for world peace. You were even a member of a union while your husband was in office - and when he died, you were the head of the UN Commission on Human Rights. All of which is pretty kick ass, but to top things off you had a hot and steamy relationship with the lesbian journalist Lorena Hickok, who was so madly in love with you that she halted her career for you. Unfortunately, you couldn't give up your public life that easily - leaving her heartbroken. Bitch.

Which Genocidal Maniac Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey Which Genocidal Maniac Are You? What bird did the Soviet Union like best? That's right, you're Josef Stalin! Stalin's actually a stage moniker - your real last name is Dzhugashvili, but you changed it for political reasons. These days, someone called Stalin wouldn't reach power either; following the death of Lenin in 1924, you decided to be a big old fascist, declaring it to be roughly the same as socialist democracy anyway. Unfortunately, the Chechens didn't particularly want to be part of your social-fascist state, and continually revolted from 1918 to 1944, demanding their freedom. You then wiped out 35 to 50% of their population. (Chechnya is still demanding to be free today, and had been demanding to be free before the Soviet Union was established. To date around a million Chechens have been forced to leave their homes.) You ruled with an iron glove and a teflon moustache until your death in 1953, scaring the pants off America and pretty much everyone else in the west. Pretty good going, for an evil dictator.

Which Annoying B-list Celebrity Are You? The Annoying B-List Celebrity Test Buck up boyo, you're Anne Robinson! When you're not offending the Welsh or stupid Americans on the dumbed-down transatlantic version of your hate-filled, lowest common denominator gameshow, you're being mean to people and pulling the legs off injured animals. We've seen you. Frankly, all this anger would be best directed towards evil corporations, which you did for a while at the helm of the BBC's Watchdog programme - the only show infinitely better with you on it. As it is, you've suddenly become a multi-million-dollar institution, spawning clones in hundreds of countries, presumably all winking in that terrifying "I look cuddly now, but I can hurt you. Oh yes, I can hurt you bad" way. Maybe you're ultra-famous, but you'll always be a B-list celebrity in our eyes. At least you're not writing for the Daily Mail any more. You can tell the world exactly what kind of link they are with the following angry outburst: