( 華人剖白之 17 )
「上天的召喚」>> English translation [ extended version for July 2006 follows]
象洪
2003.
11. 21 ( 北京 )
[
後面有2006年7月的加長版本
]
我能走進霎哈嘉瑜伽這個集體，并成為其中的一員，完全是上天的指引，我願意說出來，與大家一起分享這份上天的愛。
我生活在中國大陸，現居住在北京。
似乎從能自己獨立思考以來，潛意識裡就在找尋著什麼，只是自己也說不清楚。
在遼寧大學上學期間（1987年-1991年），我參加過各種氣功班，但每次都只參加一次講座就放棄了。原因很簡單，感覺不對！到底什麼地方不對我說不出來，就是覺得方法太複雜，太笨。
記得最清楚的一次是；他們教授我要氣守丹田（腹輪），然後用右手手指對著左手掌發氣就可以感覺到一股熱氣發出，我努力地嘗試，無論如何都感覺不到他們所說的熱氣，每次都是一股清涼之氣，但他們說我的功底太弱，要堅持練功，最後就可以達到暖流充盈丹田，手上自然就可發出熱氣了。為此，我放棄了對各種氣功門派的探求，轉而將注意力放到了佛教上面。
96年之前，我是一個虔誠的佛教徒，也許上天就是如此安排的，95年7月的一天，肉食再也無法穿過我的胃腸，同時，思想認識層面也發生了一次大的飛躍。
每次走進寺院，進入殿堂，我會情不自禁地淚流滿面，如缺堤的洪水無法抑制。
隨後不久，我做了一個極其清醒的夢。在夢中我見到了在佛國世界中所有神佛，并靠近著佛祖傾聽他講法……
從此，我參悟了佛教的相關儀軌，不再主動地去寺院虔誠地燒香跪拜，即使是陪同朋友進入寺院，見到各位佛神，只是衝著他們發出會心地微笑，招呼他們──我來了！我們彼此感應相互的存在，那種喜悅是發自內心的。
之後，有一種更高的能量一直在召喚我，但我無法判斷它到底是什麼形態出現的，只能四處不斷的尋找。
這種狀態一直持續到1998年，我進入中央民族大學，在清晨的校園看到一群人正在練法輪功，站在旁邊看他們練習，偶爾也隨著他們運作一二，但馬上就感覺這個方法花架子太多，太繁複。回到宿舍看到我的書架上擺放的一本運動瑜伽的VCD，突然決定：我要去印度！
這一刻，我知道我要尋找的東西在印度。并且與瑜伽有關。
為了不耽誤功課，我將行程訂在12月份，預計與我同行的是我的同學琦琦。為了確定進入印度後的方向，琦琦去印度駐華大使館領回了許多印度的旅遊資料，讓我找找感覺，以尋找進入印度後的前行方向。
在11月份時，我們上網找尋一些訊息，希望能得到一些關於瑜伽的消息。沒想到我們的一次無意之舉，為我們帶來了莫大的驚喜，我找到了我內心一直尋求的法門！通過網上好心人的幫助，我們找到霎哈嘉瑜伽的倫敦網站。在網上，我一看到了輪穴圖和母親的照片，我就知道找到了。多年的尋求終於開花結果了！
由倫敦中心將我們的情況轉到了香港。感謝香港霎哈嘉瑜伽中心！感謝倫敦霎哈嘉瑜伽中心！讓我終於回歸到我們的集體了。
就這樣，我打消了印度之行；而且，99年，我終於成為霎哈嘉瑜伽的一員。
當時有三位香港練習者非常巧合地不約而同的要到北京來出差几天。另一位北京女孩也在差不多時間經人介紹向香港查詢
(
她就是今天居於上海的Sharmila
)。就這樣我們六個人一同在酒店房間相聚。這真是上天奇妙的安排。
之後，在修習期間，我夢見一朵光彩奪目、盛開的白蓮花，同時，口中高詠“蓮花盛開，世界和平”。醒來，想想很好玩，我一介草民，如何能與“世界和平”這樣的大事聯繫在一起呢。
事後，我與我的一位活佛朋友聊起這個夢，他告訴我，我接觸到一個大智慧！聽到這個結論，我十分震驚，又是上天的告誡，讓我知道，我是多麼的幸運，上天對我是如此的垂青，我如何能不用心體會這份愛。
現在，我時時能感受到母親與我同在，時時可以體會她對我的愛，每到這個時刻，我周身都會洋溢著幸福，感激的淚水湧泉般溢滿我的雙眼。
感謝上天的牽引！感謝上天的愛！
( 以下為 2006年7月的加長版內容 )
因為一直是一個人的集體，所以進步很慢，不知道集體的好處在那裏，也就當然地沒有熱衷去告訴其他人一同修習了。還好有廣州的周遊時時通過Email一直與我保持著聯繫，不然，我這個懶蛋就更難堅持下來了。
這種飄忽的狀態一直到2003年，我知道不能再這個樣子了，一定要到集體中去看看，一定要去感受一下什麼是集體，為什麼sahaja瑜伽是一個集體的瑜伽。
2003年11月份，我終於如願地踏實了香港的土地，見到了久違了的家人！見到每個人都是那麼親切，毫無陌生感。內裏沉靜的Alex；淵博的Edwin……
讓我更加開心的是，Edwin告訴我：12月份母親會路過香港，並且會停留幾天，建議我12月份再來香港一次。這樣就可以見到夢中的母親了！我當然不會放棄這個機會啦！
12月份我如願地再次來到香港，並如願地見到了夢中的母親，一切是那麼自然，到現在還覺得是夢呢。
在機場見到母親的第一面時，奇怪的是內心很平靜，甚至懷疑這就是我夢中給我真知的那個母親嗎？！如此的平和，一點也不像我想像中的領袖呀！可見我內裏的思想制約有多大呀！
在隨後的兩天裏，每個人都在忙，我都不知要做些什麼。而且內裏的清潔再加劇而不知，整日的昏沉，就是想睡覺。開始時還很不好意思，覺得別人都在靜坐，自己在旁邊睡覺很不禮貌的。最後實在堅持不住了，只好放下面子，倒頭就睡了。醒來時精神百倍，這才知道，原來這也是一種清理的過程。
在機場送母親離開時，才真真正正感受到母親的力量以及sahaja瑜伽的魅力。在為母親開車門的那一刻，內心完全安靜下來了，在注視我的那一刻，我知道有一股力量已經注入我的心裏…… 我知道我已經離不開母親，離不開sahaja瑜伽了。這種愛的力量、內心寧靜的力量、無思慮的力量正是我夢寐以求的東西。
我知道上天有開天門的一天！對上天來說也就是一瞬間，對我們來說也不會是太久的時間，不把握這一刻，我就永遠也無法真正進入天堂了。自古以來，有多少修行者為到達這個彼岸而不斷地苦苦求索，而sahaja瑜伽就是上天為我們打開天門的這一刻，也是直接回到天家的不二法門。
現在，我時時能感受到母親與我同在，時時可以體會她對我的愛，每到這個時刻，我周身都會洋溢著幸福，感激的淚水湧泉般溢滿我的雙眼。
感謝上天的牽引！感謝上天的愛！
(2006 .7.24 )
編註: 2004年春Sharmila定居上海
Webmaster's note: Sharmila now settles in Shanghai since Spring 2004
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The Divine Calling < ENGLISH TRANSLATION >
By Xianghong
2003. 11. 21
( Beijing ) [ extended version for July 2006
follows]
For me to be able to enter the collectivity of Sahaja Yoga, and become a Sahaja Yogi is entirely the will of the Divine. I want to share this Divine love with everyone.
It seems that ever since I could think independently I was seeking for something. But I simply cannot describe it clearly.
While I was attending Liaoning University (1987-1991) I tried various Qi Gong classes, but always quit after the first seminar because I felt there was something wrong. I cannot describe in words what was wrong with these practices, I simply felt the methods were too complicated, too silly.
I remember one occasion when I was taught to focus my attention on my “dantian” (a point corresponding to the chakra in the lower abdomen), then to point the fingers of the right hand at the left palm. I was told I should feel a mass of hot qi (energy) coming out, but however hard I tried I could not feel the hot air they described. On the contrary, it was a cool stream of air that I felt. They told me that my foundation was too weak and that I should persevere, then somehow in the end I would have the warm air filling up the dantian, and my hands could then naturally emit hot energy. Because of this experience, I gave up on the various schools of qi gong, and turned my attention to Buddhism.
By 1996 I was a devoted Buddhist and it maybe that it was divine arrangement, since one day in July 1995 no more meat could enter my intestine. At the same time, there was a big leap on the conscious and cognitive level.
After that, whenever I entered a temple, once stepping into the hall, I could not stop the tears which were like a flood from a broken dam.
Not long afterwards, I had an extremely clear dream, in which I met all the deities and buddhas in heaven, and somehow got close to Lord Buddha to listen to His revelation….
As such I got an enlightened understanding of the protocols related to Buddism. I no longer felt the urge to go to temples to worship with burning incense and bended knees. Even when I accompany my friends to temples, I simply greet the deities with a heartfelt smile – here I come. We feel the existence of each other. There is joy from the heart.
However, I still felt that a higher being was calling me. I couldn’t foresee the form in which It would manifest, so I sought everywhere for an answer.
Such state persisted until 1998, when I entered the Central University of Nationalities. One morning I saw some people practicing Falun Gong at the campus. I watched and imitated some movements, but at once I felt that there were too many tricks, it was too clumsy. Back at the dormitory I saw a VCD on yoga exercise on the book shelf. Spontaneously I made a decision: I should go to India!
At that point I knew that what I was seeking was in India and related to yoga.
To avoid disruption of my academic studies, I planned a trip for December with my classmate QiQi. She went to the Indian Embassy to pick up quite a large amount of traveling information so as to allow me to plan the itinerary .
In November, we searched the web for information related to yoga. Little did we know that such a trivial action could lead to the door of the long quest of the heart. With the help of some kind people, we found the London Sahaja Yoga site. There we saw the chakra chart and Mother’s photo. I knew that at last that I HAD FOUND IT. Years of seeking had blossomed and borne fruit.
The London Centre referred us to Hong Kong. Thanks to the Hong Kong Sahaja Yoga Centre ! Thanks to the London Sahaja Yoga Centre ! Now I can reunify with the collective !
As such I gave up the Indian trip and, in 1999, I at last became a part of Sahaja Yoga. At that time 3 Sahaja Yogis from Hong Kong coincidentally all came to Beijing on business trip for a few days. Nearly at the same time another Beijing lady ( now known as * Sharmila settling in London ) also made contact with the HK Sahaja Yoga Centre for enquiry through referral. It was in such circumstances that all 6 of us met at the hotel room. What an amazing Divine arrangement.
During practice afterwards, I dreamt of a radiant white lotus in blossom and I was praising aloud “Lotus in blossom, world in peace”. When I woke up, I thought it was interesting that such a minor citizen as me could be connected with big things like “world peace”.
I told my friend, who is a living Buddha, about this dream. He told me that I was in contact with a big wisdom! I was amazed to hear this. This was another message from the divine, to let me know how lucky I was to be chosen, and so I should experience this love with a full heart.
Now I can feel Mother with me all the time. I can always experience Her love. Every time I get into this state, I am drenched with bliss, and the thankful tears just pour from my eyes.
Thanks to the Divine guidance! Thanks to Divine Love!
2006 .7.24 extended text :
Because it’s always been a one-person “collective”, my progress was very slow. I didn’t realize the benefits of collectivity, and therefore wasn’t very eager to tell other people about practising together. Fortunately, Zhou You from Guangzhou constantly kept in touch with me through emails, or I would have been too lazy to persist.
I had been in this unstable state until 2003. I knew that I couldn’t go on like this. I needed to join the collective to experience it, and to find out why Sahaja Yoga is practised collectively.
My desire was finally fulfilled when I arrived Hong Kong and met my long lost family in November 2003. Everyone was so warm-hearted that I didn’t feel like a stranger at all. The serene Alex; the knowledgeable Edwin…
I was even more excited when Edwin told me that Shri Mataji would be stopping by Hong Kong and staying for a few days in December. He suggested me to come to Hong Kong again in December, and I would be able to see the Mother I had been dreaming about! Of course I wouldn’t give up such a great opportunity!
My desire was once again fulfilled as I returned to Hong Kong in December, and met the Mother of my dreams. Everything was so spontaneous that it still feels like a dream now.
When I saw Mother for the first time at the airport, my heart felt unusually calm. I even questioned if that’s the Mother I dreamed of, who gave me the pure knowledge! She’s so approachable that She’s nothing like the leader I’d imagined! That shows how bad my conditionings were!
In the following two days, everyone was busy, while I was unsure of what I should be doing. Moreover, my subtle system was being cleared out, and I was constantly in a daze, feeling sleepy all the time. In the beginning, I felt quite embarrassed and inappropriate to fall asleep while others were meditating. But in the end I could no longer persist and had to go to sleep. I felt so rejuvenated when I woke up, and realized this was also part of the clearing process.
I truly felt Mother’s power and the beauty of Sahaja Yoga when we saw Mother off at the airport. At the moment we opened the car door for Mother, my heart had become completely peaceful. And when She looked at me, I knew a source of power had penetrated into my heart. I knew then that I would never leave Mother, nor will I leave Sahaja Yoga. This power of love, power of inner peace and power of thoughtless awareness was exactly what I had been dreaming of.
I knew the gateway to Heaven would open someday! It may only be a split second in God’s eyes, which wouldn’t mean a very long time for us either. If I don’t seize this moment, I will never be able to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Numerous Sanyasis have been seeking since ancient times to achieve this state. But now Sahaja Yoga has opened the gateway to Heaven for us. It is the only direct way to return to God’s Kingdom.
Now I can feel Mother’s presence and Her love for me all the time. And when that happens, my entire being is filled with bliss, and my eyes are overwhelmed with grateful tears.
Thank you God for Your guidance! Thank you God for Your love!
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[ Part 1 translated by Edwin Hou, with assistance of Steven McLearie : part 2 by Eugena Li ]
