It was my birthday and as you can expect, I was off the leash. We journeyed to the museum to celebrate this momentous occasion. as I rabidly raced around the gallery, I discovered a bizzare display. It included a space sghip behind a wall of glass. I noticed a door leading to the inside so I sneakily bounded about until I found an entrance. Once inside, I became increasingly aware of a companion. I happen to glimpse over just in time to see a green, mantis-like creature with large black antennas. He looks at me and without a care int the world says,"How the hell do you get out of here?" I stare in wonderment of this animal. He says again, more fiercely," Yo asshole, how do I get outta here?" I don't appreciate his growing discourteousness and inform him of just that. He apoligizes but explains that he simply wants to get out so he can eat the brains of human kind. I now understand his motives and show him the exit. He thanks me and promises he won't eat me until he's really hungry. I feel some small comfort in this. I soon realize the task I just performed. I run to tell Daddy Frank what I have done, ashamed. Before I do this though, I attempt to set my hair on fire with some matches I found on the bus ride over. Just then, Mommy Jean finds me and steals away my precious flames of glory. She smacks me and calls me a Firebug. I run to the gifty shop. I need more conflagration. I pick up a grill lighter and take it to the bathroom. I pleasure myself by burning the hair off my arms and yelling,"Dammit Jonathan! You're a no good pyro!" Daddy Frank comes in to take a trot and sees me sitting there, my arms ablaze. He promptly stomps me out and hoots," Jonathan! You have no hair!" I run away from him and hide in a trash can. Out of the changing table pops the strange alien I met earlier. He commands me to give him my clothing so he will fit in. I say no and try to walk away casually. He offers me an encono-size pack of matches, knowing I cannot possibly refuse such a proposal. I take off my singed shirt and neatly ironed trousers and hand them over to the Martian who calls himself "Ziglor, the Evil Space Alien". I don't know what became of that guy and honestly, I don't care. I had an inferno on my head of hair from that moment forth. When Mommy Jean caught me, my hair in a blaze of brilliance, she saluted me yelling, "Jonathan-give me the matches!!" I assumed she wanted to be on fire also but I was greedy. I belowed," NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And then I ran away naked.