*Dawson and Joey are watching I Know What You Did Last Summer. Joey turns away.*
Dawson: You are such a wuss.
Joey: You rot. That's it, its over.
Dawson: No you don't.
*Joey and Dawson fight over the remote. Joey gets it.*
Joey: That movie sucks.
Dawson: Don't you dare, that movie rules.
Joey: Yeah right. Next? I mean, I don't like watching these stupid horror movies that are loaded with cheese whiz, okay?
Dawson: Forgive me Roger Ebert, but I figured in honor of Friday the 13th tomorrow, a little horror marathon was mandatory.
Joey: Its tired Dawson, just like these movies. I mean, you have this fascination with the dark side. You enjoy scaring people, in particular, me.
Dawson: I love the adrenalin rush. Besides, horror films provide positive examples of ordinary people overcoming their worst fears and conquering evil.
Joey: Save it for film class, Dawson. I mean these movies are unnecessarily violent and exploitive, and completely pointless to society.
Dawson: Prude.
*Joey turns on the TV. The news is on.*
Joey: There's enough fear, death and evil in this world without having to recreate it on film. I don't need to watch some stupid man in a mask slice up girls, the world is already a scary place.
News Reporter: *on tv*And now tonight's lead story. Authorities fear that the lady killer has struck again. The body of 18 year old, Amanda Ferris, was found in Boston this morning. Believed to be now the 5th victim of the serial killer that's been--
Joey: See, see what I mean. Case and point. Why do we need these horror movies to remind us on how sick and demented the world really is. Huh?
Dawson: You talk big Joey. And you aren't going to sell out. But its been deflecting the real issue.
Joey: Which is?
Dawson: You are a grade A, 100%, scaredy-cat wuss.
Joey: Sure.
*Joey turns on Jerry Maguire*
Joey: Better. *she watches until she looks over and finds Dawson gone* Okay, Dawson, where are you? Where'd you go? Dawson? You're not scaring me here, you're not. Dawson? Dawson, you're so predictable, I swear. You just like your *Joey looks over the bed, and Dawson pops out with a mask on leaving Joey with a frightened look on her face.*
Dawson: You know Joey, I think you're the one that's predictable.
Joey: Dawson. C'mon.
*Theme to Dawson's Creek*
Pacey: Alright, you can tell me Dawson. What's your plan?
Dawson: What are you talking about?
Pacey: Its Friday the 13th. It's your favorite night of the year. And your parents are out of town. So what movie are you going as, huh? Michael Myers or Norman Bates' mom?
Dawson: Its not going to happen tonight. No more life imitating movies for me.
Pacey: Wait a minute, what did I just hear?
Dawson: I swear it. I'm done trying to turn my life into some exciting movies. You know what, I just end up getting disappointed. Like when I started seeing Jen, I thought, 'Okay, you know what, from now on, everything is going to be some big epic romance. Tortured and passionate and romantic, have some big happy ending. It wasn't that at all. The characters were flawed and uninspired, the love was amateurish at the least. And the ending was definitely not happy. It wasn't even tragic, it just ended.
Pacey: What are you trying to say, Dawson? I mean its Friday the 13th and we have a serial killer within striking distance of Capeside, you're just going to treat this like any other night?
Dawson: Yep.
Pacey: Come on, no midnight seance, no corpses falling out of the cupboard?
Dawson: Nope.
Pacey: Bummer man. *Pacey opens his locker, and a corpse falls out*
Dawson: Sucker.
*CUT TO Jen in class and Cliff walks in.*
Cliff: Hey Jen.
Jen: Hi. What are you doing here? This isn't your class.
Cliff: Yeah, do you want to go out tonight?
Jen: That's abrupt.
Cliff: I'm kinda under the bell here.
Jen: Cliff, I don't know. I'm kinda down on the whole dating thing after what happened last time.
Cliff: I guess the guy you dated wasn't any fun.
Jen: What are you talking about? Dawson's fun. He is, he's probably the, the most original and imaginative date on the planet.
*Joey enters*
Cliff: If that's how you feel, why aren't you going out with him now?
Jen: Long story, Cliff.
Cliff: Well, what about tonight?
Jen: What? Yeah, why not? I guess my social life has been a little deflated lately, so what time?
Cliff: I'll pick you up at--
*Joey takes out a notebook and finds a rubber snake*
Joey: Oh my god!
*She throws it on the ground. Jen picks it up.*
Jen: Yeah, let me guess. Dawson, huh?
Joey: Dead Dawson.
Jen: But you got to admit though, the guy does have a sense of humor.
Cliff: I have humor.
Jen: I know, I know you do.
Cliff: I'm going to be late. I'll see you later?
Jen: Yeah.
*CUT TO: Pacey, Jen, and Joey at lunch.*
Pacey: My brother is in the know because he's a cop. He says the victims are all young girls around your age, Joey. Listen, this killer apparently stalks his victims with letters and phone calls before he takes a knife to their throat and cuts out their heart.
Joey: No way.
Pacey: I'm not joking. The killer collects hearts. Okay? They don't talk about that on the news because its a little morbid. But its true.
Jen: Its sad. I mean the guy is only looking for love.
Joey: Yeah, I'm sure that'll be his defense when they find him.
Pacey: If they find him, Joey. You know, Dougie says this guy attacks in hundred mile increments, so that makes Capeside the next likely target. *Pacey sees Dawson coming* You never know where he could be. He could be behind you right now.
*Dawson pokes Joey on her sides which scares her.*
Joey: Dawson, stop it.
Pacey: You love it and you know it.
Dawson: Okay. Seance tonight at my house. This one is going to blow your mind.
Pacey: What about no more life imitating movies?
Dawson: Old habits die hard. And old friends die even harder.
Joey: So what do you got planned?
Dawson: Don't worry, I think your heart can handle it. Hey. So is everybody in? *Dawson slips a fake finger in Pacey's fries when no one is looking*
Jen: Um, actually, I kinda made plans with Cliff tonight. I can't come.
Dawson: Oh really?
Jen: Does that bother you?
Dawson: Should it?
Jen: I don't know.
Dawson: No, it doesn't bother me. Does it bother you that is doesn't bother me?
Jen: Should it?
Dawson: I don't know.
Jen: No, it doesn't bother me.
Joey: Well, glad nobody is bothered.
*Pacey picks up the fake finger and bites it.*
Pacey: Oh God!
Joey: Thanks Dawson, thanks for giving me a break.
Pacey: Okay, that was sly.
Jen: What, I don't get a scare?
Dawson: What do you mean?
Jen: I mean, you scared Joey and Pacey. We're friends, right?
Dawson: Yeah. I just figured that you weren't into scary stuff.
Jen: I'm not really. It just that...
Dawson: What?
Jen: Nothing. Have fun tonight. *She leaves.*
Dawson: We will.
Pacey: See you later.
*Pacey drops the finger in Joey's food. Joey picks up the finger and is about to bite it, but notices before she does.*
Joey: Pacey! You're such a jerk. That's so gross.
*CUT TO Film class.*
Mr. Gold: Jon Carpenter's use of light and dark was very reminiscent of early..
Dawson: Hitchcock?
Mr. Gold: Hitchcock. In Halloween he would always film the frame so that you were always on guard. He would frame the act so that there will always something in something in the frame with him. Sometimes it was only a tree branch but then again, that was the mastery. *bell* That concludes our special Friday the 13th discussion. We return to David Lean on Monday. Till then.
Cliff: Dawson. Hey, wait up.
Dawson: What's up?
Cliff: A little quick question. I hate to do this, but I need a favor.
Dawson: What?
Cliff: Actually, I need some advice. I'm taking Jen out tonight and I kinda feel like this is my last shot and I really wanna go for it. Where do you think I should take her?
Dawson: I'm gonna stay out of this.
Cliff: No, no. C'mon, help me out. I want the evening to be incredible. Now, you know Jen. What does she like? I want it to be imaginative and original, and according to her, you're the expert in all the junk.
Dawson: She said that? What exactly did she say?
Cliff: C'mon dude. I need your help. Where should I take her? What does she want?
Dawson: What does anybody want? Cliff, I mean, she wants to have a good time, she wants to have fun.
Cliff: Fun. That's too broad. I know my definition of fun, but I'm not so sure of Jen's.
Dawson: Let me think.
Cliff: Think. We like think, think is good. It's good.
*CUT TO Jen at her locker. She takes out a note that has "You are going to die tonight" written on it. Cliff comes up.*
Cliff: Hey.
Jen: What? You scared me. Look at this.
Cliff: Where'd you get that?
Jen: I don't know, I think... you know what, I bet that Dawson put this in my locker.
Cliff: How do you know it was Dawson?
Jen: C'mon. This reeks of Dawson.
Cliff: Don't worry, I'll protect you. Alright, I'll see you later.
Jen: Where are we going tonight?
Cliff: No, its a surprise. But I promise, it'll be incredibly original and unpredictable.
*CUT TO Jen in her house. The phone rings.*
Jen: Hello?
Caller: Hello.
Jen: Who is this?
Caller: You tell me your name and I'll tell you mine.
Jen: Okay, Dawson. Dawson, I got your note, I feel very part of, thank you very much. Now you can stop.
Caller: Who's Dawson?
Jen: Alright, okay. I saw this movie.
Caller: So, tell me your name.
Jen: Drew Barrymore. Look, you want to play this game, lets cut right to the chase. What's your favorite scary movie?
Caller: "Friday the 13th." What's yours?
Jen: "Ten Commandments." Don't ask. So, are you the famed lady killer? Are you waiting outside on a cellular to cut my heart out?
Caller: Maybe.
Jen: Yeah, free advice, find a better heart. Mine's a little dented.
Caller: Did somebody hurt you?
Jen: No. Its completely self inflicted.
Caller: I'm sorry.
Jen: Me too.
Caller: Maybe I could help.
Jen: Alright, you know what Dawson, this is as far as we need to go on this one, alright?
Caller: Once again, who's Dawson?
*Jen looks out the window*
Jen: Alright, where are you? Outside?
Caller: That would be too predictable. I'm far closer than that.
Jen: That's enough. Alright. *Jen gets a knife*
Caller: Why don't you search the house?
Jen: Dawson, you didn't, you didn't sneak into the house did you? 'Cause you are lucky that my Grams isn't here.
Caller: This guy Dawson sounds like a real loser.
Jen: Yeah, well he's not. Just a little out there but in a good way.
Caller: How's your grandfather?
Jen: You know, Dawson, Dawson, hiding in my Gramps bedroom is really, really low.
*Jen notices the window open.*
Jen: Okay, alright, you got me now, okay, Dawson. I'm officially scared, you can come out. *She closes the window and then checks the closet.* Where are you?
Caller: Whatever you do Jennifer, don't look under the bed.
Jen: Gramps. *She goes over and looks under his bed. His hand falls on her head and she screams* Okay, alright, you know what Dawson, this is no longer funny, okay?
Caller: Stop calling me Dawson.
Jen: Who are you?
Caller: Guess.
*Someone knocks at the door then tries to open it.*
Jen: Who's there? I said who's there? *She goes to shut the back door and is frightened when Grams puts her hand on her shoulder.*
Grams: Jennifer, its only me. Couldn't find my front door key. Who's on the phone dear?
Jen: Who is this?
Caller: Soon, Jennifer, soon.
*CUT TO Dawson's house. Dawson is putting a doll on a noose up on the porch but Joey walks in and he throws it away.*
Joey: Too late, already saw it.
Dawson: Saw what?
Joey: One of your shady pranks you have in store for us tonight.
Dawson: I don't know what you're talking about. If you're referring to my childhood fascination of fear, you'll be happy to know that I matured in the last year.
Joey: Right. So what's behind the couch? Huh?
Dawson: Nothing.
Joey: C'mon let me see.
Dawson: It's nothing.
Joey: Don't push me. And don't think for one second that you fooled me with your innocent puppy-dog who-me I'm Richie Cunningham act. I know its a con, Dawson, I'm on to you.
Dawson: Then you have nothing to fear.
*A jeep arrives.*
Dawson: Here's Pacey. C'mon, let's go.
Joey: Where?
Dawson: Store. We have to cater the evening.
Joey: Oh. I don't like riding with him, he's a menace on the road.
Pacey: Nah, you ain't hallucinating. Pacey's got the Jeep. Can I hear ya say yea-aaaah, can I hear ya say oh yea-aaah.
Joey: I'm so against this.
Pacey: Seriously, I'm a good driver, you have nothing to worry about. Just get in the bus, coz.
*Pacey starts driving. In town, he's driving fast. When he stops, he makes the group go forward and then back*
Dawson: Congratulations, you are the world's worst driver.
Pacey: I'm not hearing that, Dawson. Can you watch the car, Jo?
Joey: Why?
Pacey: Well, I can't really turn it off. I mean I can but its a hazard 'cause I don't have the keys.
Joey: Oh yeah, I forget, you steal.
Pacey: Hey, you borrow from family. You never steal.
*Pacey gets out and goes into the store*
*CUT TO Pacey and Dawson in the store watching a domestic fight.*
Ursela: Who do you think you are?
Eddie: Shut up, shut up!
Ursela: You do not own me.
Eddie: Don't touch me.
Ursela: You're crazy, you know that, you're crazy!
Eddie: Just get out of my face, wench!
Ursela: Get out of your face, wench?!
Pacey: Should we do something?
Dawson: Domestic squabble, back off.
Ursela: Let go of me! Stop it, let go of me! *The guy walks out* Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Where do you think you're going?
Eddie: None of your damn business. I'm gone.
Ursela: You're a puke you know that. You two cent low life, I hate you. *Notices Pacey and Dawson.* Hi boys. Having a party?
Pacey: Yeah, we are.
Ursela: Is it a milk and cookies kind of a party?
Pacey: It doesn't have to be.
Ursela: Oh, don't tell me, you're not 21 yet.
Pacey: Almost, you know, just another couple weeks.
Ursela: You want me to score you a bottle of wine?
Pacey: Yeah, that'll be great.
*She puts a bottle of wine in her bag*
Pacey: Not going to pay for that first?
Ursela: And take all the fun out of it? I'll see you outside.
*CUT TO Joey out in the car. She leans up to turn on the radio and sits back and notices someone at the window. He signals for her to roll the window down. She does a little bit.*
David: Hi there.
Joey: Hi.
David: What's your name?
Joey: Joey.
David: Hi Joey, I'm David. I'm a little lost. I was on my way to Providence and I, I think I took a wrong turn somewhere.
Joey: Providence? Uh, you're a little more than a little lost.
David: Maybe, you could point me in the right direction.
Joey: Sure, um, you just take Elm Street, which is this street right here. Then take it a few miles until you hit the highway.
*Joey notices the guy keeps staring at her.*
David: Sorry, was I staring? Its just that you have the most intense eyes. Has anybody ever told you that? They're really piercing. *Dawson comes out of the store and noticed the guy talking to Joey.* I'm so tired, I've been on the road all day, is there a motel around here?
Joey: Um, actually, not too far from here.
David: I really don't know this area at all, what about you? Do you live nearby?
Dawson: What's going on? You need something?
David: No, sport, I don't. Thanks for your help Joey.
Joey: Good luck.
*Dawson gets into the car*
Dawson: Didn't your mother ever tell you not to talk to strangers? That guy could be the lady killer.
Joey: He was lost, he needed directions.
Dawson: Oh, please. Joey, that's the oldest trick in the book. Next thing you know, you're in the woods with tape on your mouth and rope around your neck.
Joey: You are so paranoid.
Dawson: But serial killers are typically white males in their 20s. Hello? Its the 90s, you got to be careful.
Joey: Whatever.
*Pacey is standing around and the girl comes out*
Ursela: Here you go sweetie.
Pacey: Excellent. Cabernet sobena. My favorite. You know, my buddy is having a seance over at his house and I was just wondering if you like to come along.
Eddie: Ursula!
Ursels: I'd love to.
Eddie: Get in the car Ursula.
Ursela: Where are your wheels?
Pacey: Over there.
*They start running and the guy chases them. They get in the car.*
Eddie: Where do you think you're going?
Joey: Go Pacey!
Eddie: Open this door now!
*Everyone locks the door.*
*CUT TO Jen's house.*
Jen: Cliff, seven o' clock, right on the dot.
Cliff: I never keep a lady waiting.
*Grams walks in*
Grams: Are you Clifford Elliot?
Cliff: Hello ma'am. I found this mail on your porch.
Grams: Thank you Clifford. I've heard a lot about you. Quarterback, top of the honor roll, and I see you every week at the first church of the Nazarene.
Jen: Grams, you're drooling.
Grams: Oh, and doesn't our little Jennifer look pretty tonight?
Cliff: Yes ma'am, she does.
Jen: Goodbye Grams.
Grams: You two kids have fun now, and have her home by midnight or she'll turn into a pumpkin.
Cliff: Okay, I will. I promise, I'll take good care of her.
*Grams closes the door*
Jen: Ah, she likes you. Not a good sign.
Cliff: Oh, really?
Jen: I, you know, um, its kinda chilly, maybe I should get my jacket.
Cliff: Well actually, we're not going that far. Just about a hundred feet.
Jen: Really? Where are we going?
Cliff: Dawson's. He's having a seance. Won't that be killer?
*CUT TO Dawson's house*
Ursela: It's a nice house. Caramel corn. *Opens it and something pops out* Oh my God!*starts laughing* Who did that?
Joey: Dawson. Too easy.
Ursela: Oh, its alright, I love to be scared. My boyfriend Eddie, scares the goop out of me.
Pacey: I can imagine.
Ursela: I need a drink.
Dawson: Everybody help yourself.
*Jen approaches Dawson, the rest are gone*
Jen: Thanks for the phone calls.
Dawson: What phone calls? Was I supposed to call you?
Jen: Yeah and the note in my locker, nice touch. You know it was a bit harsh, but you do strive for realism.
Dawson: What note, what phone call?
Jen: Oh, c'mon Dawson. Don't play dumb with me. I know you're trying to scare me.
Dawson: Why would I do that?
Jen: Because, its what you do. Its Friday the 13th.
Dawson: I mean, Jen, this is it. Fake snakes. I'm sorry that I didn't plan anything specific for you but I didn't think you'd get into it.
*CUT TO Ursula opening the fridge to find a fake head*
Ursela: Okay, nothing here. Got a corkscrew? Its not cold so we'll have to add some ice. It's like a fun house in here.
*CUT TO Dawson's living room.*
Dawson: Joey, can you get the seance book, its in the closet.
*Joey hands the bowl with a head in it to Jen, and she hands it to Cliff*
Cliff: Hey man, thanks having me over. This is perfect.
Dawson: You think?
Cliff: Its the most original first date I can think of. I mean, how many guys will bring a girl to their ex-boyfriend's house?
Dawson: It's classic.
Cliff: I think that she's really warming up to me.
Dawson: Congratulations.
*CUT TO Joey and Jen*
Jen: Joey, is it just me or is this too weird for words. I mean, I'm on a date and I end up here. Who's idea was this?
Joey: Cliff's?
Jen: No, no, he's not that inventive. This is definitely the work of Dawson.
Joey: You think?
*Joey opens the closet door and a corpse pops out.*
*CUT TO Seance table.*
Ursela: Spirits, are you with us?
Pacey: *singing* Whoa, whooaa. Spirits come to us.
Cliff: Ursula, are you like a spirit goddess?
Ursela: I channel from time to time. Have couple spirit sisters that occupy my body occasionally.
Dawson: Dian and Layota?
*the group laughs*
Pacey: You know what we should do. We should channel the victims of the lady killer. Maybe they'd ID the guy. We could get that reward money, that'll be sweet.
Dawson: Did you guys know that he likes to stalk his victims? Usually comes in contact first in notes and phone calls.
Ursela: Really?
Dawson: Yeah. That's how he got that girl down in North Carolina. He sent her notes, and then followed her home after school one day. He would peek through her window. And then he'd call, pretending to be somebody else.
Pacey: That's creepy.
Cliff: You got a call didn't you?
Pacey: Somebody called you?
Jen: Yes, and his name is Dawson.
Dawson: Jen, I swear, I didn't call you.
Joey: You know, why don't you finish the story?
Dawson: But you don't like scary stuff.
Joey: I have a contradicting personality. Please continue.
Dawson: Okay. So anyways, he called her and learned that she's going to be home alone that night. She lived in a town where nobody locked their doors. He disconnected her electricity, cut off her phone, walked right through the front door, up her stairs, into her bedroom while she was sleeping, and cut out her heart in one clean sweep. He used a long lacerated scalpel, so they think that he might be a doctor or something.
Ursela: You know what makes that story so scary?
Jen: Its true.
Pacey: You know, you think stuff like that never happens but it always does.
Cliff: I got a story. Its true too. A woman with a newborn was out to the country to pick blueberries. Alright, she leaves the baby in the back in his little car seat with the door open so she could hear him if he cries. She goes out picking in the blueberry patch, after about a half an hour, she realizes she hasn't heard a peep from the baby.
Ursela: Uh oh.
Cliff: She runs back to the car, looks in the back and a huge snake has crawled down the throat of the baby, its tail wagging out. So, in major shock, she reaches in, yanks the snake out. And long with it, comes all the baby's insides.
Jen: That's not scary, that's disgusting.
Joey: That's nasty.
Jen: Poor baby.
Ursela: I have a scary story. There's this young kid, this boy. Who goes to the convenient store and picks up this woman. She's wild you know, and crazy but pretty. And he takes her back to his friend's house where they're having all these like fun and games. And what none of them know is that this woman is a little ill, you know, like in the head. The result of years of abuse. And that in her purse, she carries this great big knife. Because sometimes, just for fun, she likes to slice open throats and see how far the blood would spurt.
*The rest look at her and the lights go out. They all scream*
Ursela: What the hell? This freaks me out.
Joey: Dawson, turn the lights back on.
Dawson: It wasn't me. I didn't do it. It must be a blackout.
Jen: Really? A blackout during our seance, how coincidental Dawson? Yeah, I think I'll call the electric company. Well, imagine that, the phone's dead.
Dawson: Don't look at me.
Pacey: Great! No phone and no electricity. Maybe its the lady killer.
Joey: Maybe its doofus Dawson.
Pacey: Look, joke's over. 'Cause I'm getting spooked here, alright?
Joey: Are the doors locked?
Dawson: Yeah, we should check the door. Joey and Pacey, check the front door. Jen, you and Cliff, ah, get some flashlights from the upstairs closet.
Ursela: Hey! Where you going?
Dawson: I'm gonna check the fuse box outside, you could stay right there.
Ursela: No, no, no. I'm coming with you.
Dawson: Okay.
*CUT TO Pacey and Joey*
Pacey: He's got you, you're so scared.
Joey: No, I'm not.
Pacey: Oh, please. Quit tripping out, this is just Dawson up to his old tired tricks. There's no psychopath in this house.
Joey: Yes there is. And you brought her. Pacey, don't you remember what happened with Tamara? This can end up even worse. And your bizarre mother complex is gonna get us all killed.
Pacey: Uh, I don't know, I think she's kinda sexy. She's into me, don't you think?
Joey: She's a nutcase. And the story about the knife in her purse. Face it Pacey, you have the worst taste in women.
Pacey: Oh, and coming from you that really hurts.
Joey: What's that supposed to mean?
Pacey: What about your taste Joey? You're gonna go to your grave pining away for your best friend. The guy that is so oblivious he doesn't have a clue that you lust after him morning, noon, and night.
Joey: I don't lust after him.
Pacey: Denial, denial. *They hear a noise* Should we check it out?
Joey: Yeah, go for it. You're not scared are you?
*They go up the stairs and then an ax swings in their path.*
*CUT TO: Jen.*
Jen: Cliff? Cliff.
*Cliff comes out*
Cliff: Aahh!
Jen: God, you scared me.
Cliff: Sorry.
Jen: Oh man. For a second there I thought you were that psycho woman.
Cliff: Ah, she's a trip, isn't she?
Jen: I think we're being set up.
Cliff: What do you mean?
Jen: C'mon I'm sure that something's gonna come flying out of the closet. Snakes, some bloody corpse.
*Cliff opens the closet door, he gets out the flashlights*
Cliff: So much for your theory.
*They look up at a mirror which has red writing on it.*
Jen: See, what did I tell you. I mean, Dawson has been doing this to me all day. First that note in my locker, the phone call at my house.
Cliff: How do you know it was him?
Jen: Who else?
Cliff: Well, what if Dawson had nothing to do with it? I mean, what if there really is a psychopath following you around trying to kill you?
*Jen is left wondering*
*CUT TO Dawson and Ursela*
Ursela: Its cold in here, hold this. *She looks in her bag and Dawson watches her. She pulls out a red scarf* What'd you think? That I was gonna pull a knife on ya?
Dawson: I don't know.
Ursela: I don't stab people. I take a pistol and I shoot them in the head. I'm just playing with you, sweetie.
Dawson: You're a good actress.
Ursela: Ah, that's funny you say that. For a while I thought I'd might go to Hollywood. And then I met Eddie.
Dawson: The guy in the parking lot?
Ursela: Yeah, he's a loonatic that guy. He's been in the penn.
Dawson: For what?
Ursela: Assualt and battery. He took this guy's head and shoved it into a wall. The guy's eye ball was hanging from its socket. He's a monster. But he's my monster. You know, love is a really complicated bitch.
Dawson: You can say that again.
Ursela: See, I knew that you had an issue. I have this extra circular sensory thing. You just broke up with a girl that's inside. I felt the emotion. Don't you worry, she loves you back.
Dawson: What do you know about it?
Ursela: I don't that she wants you. And you have been scaring her all night so its obvious that you want her.
Dawson: I haven't scared her once tonight. I've been scaring Joey.
Ursela: Yeah, the brunette. Cute, fiesty. The two of you will work out.
Dawson: Jen's my ex-girlfriend, not Joey.
Ursela: Then, there's your problem. You're dating the wrong girl.
Dawson: No. Joey and I have this intense friendship. We got that extra sensory canal thing. You know, I don't get this. I set it on a timer so it will go off right at eleven.
Ursela: So the blackout was all a big stunt?
Dawson: Yeah, but the fuse box, it seems that something's come on and jammed it.
*They hear a noise from outside*
Ursela: What was that?
Dawson: Lets go back inside.
Pacey: Where you've been?
Dawson: Trying to get the lights on. Where's Joey?
Jen: She went that way to look for you.
Dawson: You let her go by herself? Hey Joey? Joey! Joey? *He hears a thud from the closet, he opens it, and Joey falls out* Oh, oh, oh my God. Joey, talk to me. *A shadow comes over him* Aahh!!
*Joey starts laughing. Jen takes off the mask*
Dawson: Funny, very funny.
Joey: Gotcha Dawson.
Dawson: That was lame. That was really lame.
Joey: C'mon, you can dish it out but you can't take it?
Dawson: The level of scare here is different. I give you rubber snakes, not Joey dead. There's a difference.
Joey: Boohoo. It was Jen's idea. And quite frankly a good one.
Dawson: Jen, that was your idea?
Jen: Hey, your notes and phone calls were a little more than rubber appliances. In fact they were very scary, I might add.
Dawson: I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't send you any notes, I didn't call you.
Jen: You serious?
*Dawson walks up the stairs and goes into his room. Jen follows*
Jen: Alright, you look me straight in the face and tell me that you didn't try to spook me.
Dawson: I didn't try to spook you.
Jen: Say honest to God.
Dawson: Jen, you don't believe in God.
Jen: Well then who did?
Dawson: The lady killer? I don't know, Jen.
Jen: And why didn't you?
Dawson: What?
Jen: Why didn't you try to scare me? I mean, don't I rank with you anymore?
Dawson: Jen, you broke up with me. Okay, you clearly don't want me or anything to do with me. So yeah, I kinda crossed you off the list.
Jen: Then why did you invite us to your house?
Dawson: I don't know. Help Cliff out. Maybe try to get over you.
Jen: Or watch over me?
Dawson: I really don't like the way things are, Jen.
*They lean towards each other for a kiss.*
Jen: Not a good idea.
Dawson: No, good point.
Jen: No. I should go. But, you know Dawson, whatever is going on between us, I don't want you to cross me off any more of your lists, okay?
Dawson: Consider yourself uncrossed.
Jen: So scare me next time, alright?
Dawson: Don't worry I got you covered.
*CUT TO Pacey and Ursela*
Pacey: So you scared?
Ursela: I'm peeing in my pants.
Pacey: You know, I may look young but I have been with older women before. Did you hear that? There's somebody in those bushes.
*Eddie comes out and breaks the screen door*
Eddie: You bitch, you bitch.
Ursela: No, get away from me. Get him, Pacey. C'mon.
Eddie: I'm gonna kill you!
*Cliff opens the door*
Cliff: Has anybody seen... get in!
Ursela: Promises, promises. Pacey will tear you apart, he's my new man, and he'll protect me.
Pacey: Don't say that!!!!
Dawson: What's going on?
Pacey: Her boyfriend's outside.
Ursela: And he's really pissed. I'm gonna call the police, Eddie!
Eddie: No you won't!
Ursela: Yes, I will. I'm gonna call them right now.
Dawson: No can do. I disconnected the phone line out back.
*Eddie breaks the window and tries to get in*
Ursela: He's lost it, I'm getting out of here.
Dawson: He's looking for a way in.
Cliff: Lock the doors.
*Joey and Jen close the windows and Eddie comes up*
Dawson: What's he doing? Climbing the walls?
Ursela: Eddie's strong but he's no Spiderman.
Dawson: The ladder, he's climbing the ladder.
Joey: He's going to climb through your window.
Dawson: Go to Jen's, call Doug to get help.
*Cliff, Dawson and Jen go up to Dawson's room*
Dawson: The window's open.
Cliff: He's in.
*Pacey unlocks the door and Eddie chokes him*
Eddie: Trying to take away my woman?
Pacey: No, sir.
Eddie: Say goodbye.
*Joey hits Eddie over the head with a frying pan*
Eddie: You're dead.
*She hits him again, when he's on the ground, she still hits him. Ursela sees and comes running down the stairs.*
Ursela: Stop it! Hey, get off of him! Get off him. Eddie? Talk to me sweetie.
Eddie: I'm sorry baby.
Ursela: Honey, you okay? Let me take you home sweetie.
Eddie: I love you Ursula.
Ursela: I love you. Lets get the hell out of here. These kids are weird. Sorry about the damage. I work down at the bowling alley Dalmage. Come down and I'll give you a discount on your shoes.
Dawson: Thanks.
*CUT TO Jen and Cliff*
Jen: Well, that was a complete nightmare.
Cliff: I thought that you like to be scared though.
Jen: No, there is nothing that I like less.
Cliff: Are you sure? Its just not what Dawson said.
Jen: What do you mean?
Cliff: You know how I feel about you. Right Jen? I mean, do you know how I feel about you?
Jen: Um?
Cliff: I like you. I think you're great.
Jen: Thanks. I think you're great too.
Cliff: No you don't.
Jen: No, I do. I think you're a really sweet guy.
Cliff: I just get the feeling that you like Dawson because he's so creative and maybe you think that I'm too stiff, or umimaginative, or unique enough.
Jen: No, no, I don't think that at all.
Cliff: So I went to Dawson, and I asked his advice.
Jen: Wait, you asked Dawson for advice.
Cliff: And he told me you really liked to be scared. And if I got you all worked up, that, I don't know, you'd be impressed.
Jen: Wait a minute, you, you're the one that called me this afternoon, and the notes. You're the one that sent the notes. *Cliff nods* Okay, and Dawson told you to do this?
Cliff: No, no, I came up with that one on my own. Its pretty cool huh?
Jen: Cliff, um, you know what, to be honest with you Cliff, I'm not really in the market for a boyfriend now, okay? My love life is kind of crashed and burned and I'm just picking up the pieces. But if I were, I want you to be yourself. Okay? Not some Dawson knock off.
Cliff: Yeah, I guess that its pretty stupid huh? I try to be original by, uh, copying somebody else.
Jen: Yeah.
*CUT TO Pacey searching around the yard with a flashlight before getting in his car and driving off*
*CUT TO Cliff and Jen*
Cliff: Well, it looks like we're here. You think you could give me a goodnight kiss?
Jen: Uh, um, you know.*Cliff kisses her before she finishes. Then Grams opens the door*
Grams: Oh! Sorry.
Jen: Uh, its, its okay Grams.
Grams: No, no, no, no. Go right ahead. I didn't mean to interrupt. Hello Clifford.
Cliff: Hello ma'am.
Jen: I'll be right in.
Grams: No, don't hurry. Take your time. *She closes the door*
Jen: You know, I think my Grams has the hots for you. You interested?
Cliff: Well, I kinda have a crush on somebody else.
Jen: Goodnight Cliff. *She kisses him, then goes inside*
*CUT TO Grams sitting at the kitchen table*
Jen: Goodnight Grams.
Grams: I really like the Clifford Elliot. Good stock.
Jen: Yeah, he's very nice. I'm just gonna hit the sack.
Grams: Oh, you have some mail, dear.
*Jen turns around and opens the letter. Something pops, and makes her jump*
Grams: What is it dear?
Jen: Oh, um, *sets the trap* actually, Grams, its for you. Goodnight.*Grams opens the letter and it scares her. She reveals the letter which says HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH - DAWSON*
*CUT TO Dawson and Joey*
Dawson: I scared you pretty bad with this baby.
Joey: Yeah, but not as bad as I scared you.
Dawson: I wasn't scared.
Joey: I saw the look on your face when you saw me tumble out of the closet. *She makes a face* I don't know. I thought maybe for a second, you'd might even be sad if I died.
Dawson: Joey, that's ridiculous.
Joey: You wouldn't be sad? Thanks.
Dawson: Are you kidding? God, I would be inconsolable. Joey, if you died, God, I don't know what I would do. Its the worst possible thing I can imagine. What about me? Would you shed any tears if I died?
*Joey nods*
Dawson: So, you sleeping over?
Joey: Do you mind? I don't know, all this mayhem really spooked me.
Dawson: It was fun, wasn't it?
Joey: Yeah, but Friday the 13th is over so, no more brushes with death, okay? Can we just go to sleep and pretend the world is safe and happy place to live?
Dawson: Okay, Joey.
*Joey pulls back the covers and sees plastic spiders.*
Joey: Cute. Cute.
*Dawson turns on the TV*
News Reporter: Authorities believe they have arrested the multiple murderer known as the lady killer. Identified as David Blanchard. The suspect was found prowling a residential neighborhood in Capeside. When officers inspected his car, they found evidence linking him with the murders that has been terrorizing the eastern sea board for the past few months. We'll bring you more information on the lady killer arrest in our full report.
*Joey and Dawson notice that the guy was the same one who had spoken to Joey at the convenient store earlier. They stare at each other with a shocked expression on their face.*