Prologue
The sound of twisting metal, raging fire, the loud thuds of objects hitting the building, PASS devices ringing for those no longer moving...
All these sounds rang out as if they'd happened yesterday. The screams, the pleas for help, the crumbling of concrete.... all vivid and all too real.
Clarissa O'Malley woke up in a cold sweat and wiped the tears from her eyes. The nightmares were still coming three months after the attacks that changed her life. That changed the lives of every New Yorker, ever American. The loss was devastating.
She threw back the covers and walked to the kitchen. There, she grabbed a bottle of water and sat in the recliner.
"Another nightmare, Mal?"
Clarissa looked up to see her lieutenant, Mark Gamboni. "Yeah.” She took a sip of water.
"I've been thinking.” He sat down across from her. "I think you need to take a break."
"What?” Her head jerked up. "I don't think so."
"I do."
"I don't see you telling the other "guys" that they need a break."
"They've all been told that they can. Besides, they weren't inside like you were."
"So you're solution is to take a break?"
"Call it a vacation.” He nodded his head. "Go someplace away from here. Visit family or friends for the holidays."
Family. The closest thing she had to a family left was her best friend from college, Bobbie. The only problem was, Bobbie lived in Dublin with her boyfriend. Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea. Get away from New York, the reporters that turned up on every corner, the daily reminder of the attack when she drove into work.
"I think I just might.” She stood up and returned to her bunk.
Chapter - 1
Clarissa worked on packing her bags as she listened to Bobbie yell and scream on the other end of the phone.
"It's about time! I've been trying to get you out here for months.” Bobbie yelped.
"I know. I thought it was time to get away for a bit. Leave the madness of New York for a few weeks."
"You alright?” Bobbie turned serious. She'd been the first one that Clarissa had turned to after that fateful day. Again, when the nightmares began.
"No worse than I've been.” She looked around her room. She grabbed her FDNY sweatshirt and threw it in her bag before zipping it up. "My flight leaves in a few hours. I should be there in the morning."
"I'll be there.” Bobbie pulled out the piece of paper with her flight info written on it.
"You have told Joe that I'm visiting, right?"
"I told him last night. He can't wait to see you either.” Bobbie smiled.
"Well, I'll see you then, alright?"
"You know it."
Two hours later, Clarissa stood in the airport and waited for her flight to be called. As she did, she watched the giant airliners take off and land on the runways outside. It was the first time she'd been to an airport, let alone the first time she'd flown in the last six months.
She took a deep breath and calmed her nerves. Security had been increased and things were safer now, weren't they? Nothing would go wrong with her flight.
She shook her head at her own fears. Hell, she ran into burning buildings for a living and she was standing here worrying over a simple plane ride.
She tried to sleep on the flight but the nightmares only returned. She woke in a cold sweat just in time to see they were landing.
She grabbed her carry-on and filed off the planes with the others. As she walked down the ramp, she spotted Bobbie waving her hand.
"You're here!” Bobbie hugged her.
"Hi.” Clarissa laughed. "It's good to see you."
"You too.” Bobbie took her carry-on from her. "Joe's at the house getting ready for lunch. He thought it would be nice to fire up the grill since it was a nice day."
"I'm starving.” Clarissa laughed. "I only hope the food it edible."
They grabbed her suitcase and were soon on the way to the house. When they arrived, they noticed an extra car in the driveway.
"Seems Sav decided to come for lunch."
"Sav?” Clarissa raised her eyebrows. If memory served her correctly, Sav was Joe's blue eyed, hot body, gorgeous haired bassist.
"Yep. He and Paige split up a couple of months ago. I wonder if he has Tyler with him."
"Who's Tyler?” She asked as she grabbed her bag from the car.
"His son. He's the cutest thing.” Bobbie smiled. "Scott, the new baby, was born at the beginning of the month."
They walked in the house and Bobbie showed Clarissa to her room. They talked while Clarissa washed up and combed her hair. When she was finished, they walked downstairs and found the guys on the patio in the back of the house.
"They you are!” Joe kissed Bobbie.
"Smells good." Bobbie leaned over the grill. "Hey, Sav."
"'Ello.” Sav smiled back at her.
"Do you remember Risa?” She pointed to her friend that was currently receiving a hug from Joe.
Remember her? He remembered her the second she walked out of the house. That long black hair was pulled back in a neat braid just as he'd always seen it. That curvaceous body tucked away in a pair of faded jeans and black shirt.
He remembered her all right. He remembered his body's reaction to her, even more painfully this time, with his long abstinence.
"'Ello, Risa. How are you?” He smiled.
"Fine. I here you've had a few additions to the clan?"
Sav smiled shyly and pulled his wallet out.
"Tyler's nappin' in the 'ouse.” He handed her a picture. "He's the oldest one and the baby is Scott."
"They're adorable.” She stared at the picture. They had to be two of the cutest boys she'd ever seen. Of course, they're father was gorgeous, and if she remembered Paige, she was quite a beauty herself.
"Thanks."
"Risa's gonna be staying with us for a few weeks.” Bobbie smiled.
"Really?” Sav looked at Joe.
"How could I say no?” Joe laughed.
Chapter - 2
Risa wiped the sweat from her eyes as she ran down the street. Nothing had sounded better this morning than a nice, relaxing run. Get out and get some fresh air. The nightmares had returned again last night and she'd managed to maybe get only a couple of good hours of sleep.
She hoped, if nothing else, she accomplished one night of good sleep while on this vacation.
Sav pulled into Joe’s driveway and threw his car in park. He sat there gathering his stuff when he noticed a figure out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head and saw Clarissa walking up the road. Better yet, he saw her tight running suit. So, those jeans and shirts did hide a very fit and trim body.
“Morning.” She spoke as she walked by his car.
“Mornin’. Out takin’ a run?” He replied as he climbed out of his car.
“Yeah. It’s really beautiful around here.”
“It is.” He noticed the dark circles under her eyes. “Joe and Bobbie keep ya up last night?” He chuckled.
“Huh?”
“Sorry. I noticed it looked as though you didn’t get much sleep.” He pointed to her eyes. “I figured Joe and Bobbie were on one of their marathon sessions again.”
“Oh.” She looked away. “No, I just couldn’t seem to get comfortable.” She lied.
“Are you goin’ to stand outside talkin’ all day or work?” Joe teased from the door.
“Sod off, mate! I was just chattin’ with the lovely bird.” He winked at Clarissa as he made his way to the door.
Clarissa felt her stomach do flip-flops when he did that. How is it one man could possess such sex appeal? She watched him walk to the door. And a cute ass to boot!
She shook her head and walked in the house. Why would a rock star ever be interested in a firefighter? Especially one with all the baggage she was carrying at the time.
Sav and Joe walked into the studio and quickly went to work. After a few minutes, Joe’s curiosity got the better of him.
“Tell me somethin’.” Joe turned to Sav.
“The sky’s blue.” Sav laughed.
Joe rolled his eyes. “Ok, smartass. I meant, tell me what’s up with you talkin’ to Risa?”
“What?” Sav looked at him. “Can I not talk to the lass when I see ‘er?”
“Sure. I’m just curious why you talk to ‘er with that look in your eyes.”
“What look are you referrin’ to?”
“You’re interested.”
“So.”
“I didn’t say there was anythin’ wrong with it. I mean, come on. It would be kinda cool to be datin’ friends.” Joe wiggled his eyebrows.
“Oh, man! Get your brain outta your pants, will ya?” He smacked the back of his head. “Besides, I ‘ave more to worry about these days than just a woman who’s interested in me. I come as a package deal these days.”
“So. You think that means she wouldn’t be interested in you?” He shook his head. “I happen to know personally that Risa loves children.”
“How did we get on this subject?”
“Fine.” Joe grabbed his pencil. He knew when Sav didn’t want to talk about something. They’d obviously reached that point.
Clarissa and Bobbie sat at the kitchen table and talked as they drank their coffee.
“So, not that I’m not happy, but why the vacation all of the sudden?” Bobbie sipped her coffee.
“Gamboni thought I needed it.” Clarissa sighed. “I’m dealing with the issues but I think he’s worried about the nightmares still being around.”
“Have you ever gone to anyone to talk about it?”
“I tried. It’s kinda hard to in New York though. Everyone’s effected by it in some way.”
“I’ve always been here. I’ll just listen if you want to get it off your chest. Maybe that’ll help the nightmares to stop.”
“Bobbie, you wouldn’t want to hear what I saw.” She shook her head. “It’s gruesome to say the least.”
Chapter - 3
Sav walked into the kitchen of Joe’s house to grab a drink. Joe and Bobbie had left a few hours ago for a Christmas get together with some friends. He had decided to stay and finish a little work before going to pick up the boys.
He had just finished off his water when he heard a muffled cry from upstairs. Was Clarissa still here? He listened a minute more and still heard it.
Deciding he’d check and make sure she was ok, he took off up the stairs. He followed the cry until he came to the room she was staying in. He knocked lightly on the door and didn’t get an answer.
Slowly, opening the door, he found her curled on her bed, crying.
“Risa?” He spoke loud enough for her to hear but not startle her. She didn’t answer, just kept crying. “Risa, it’s Sav.” He moved closer. He still didn’t get an answer so he sat on the bed next to her.
Her sobs continued and he wondered what torment had caused them. Suddenly, without warning, she bolted straight up.
Giving her a minute, he finally spoke again. “Are you alright, love?”
“Sav?” Her head whipped around to face him.
“I ‘eard you cryin’ downstairs. I was just checkin’ to make sure everythin’ is fine.”
“Just a bad dream.” She wiped at her tears. The dark circles were evident under her eyes again.
“I’ve ‘eard if you talk about them, they don’t seem so bad.” Sav offered.
“Yeah? Well, mine are.” She stood and walked to the bathroom.
She washed her face and looked in the mirror. She looked just as tired as she did the day she left New York. What good was a vacation if she couldn’t escape the horror of her dreams?
“Risa?” He knocked on the door.
She opened the door and stood there looking at him. She much rather be by herself than have company. She could feel her emotions too close to the surface at this point.
“Thanks for checkin’ on me. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re sure?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah.” She started to feel a little alone. Maybe she didn’t want him to leave after all.
He glanced at his watch and realized he needed to pick up the boys.
“I ‘ave to go.”
“Have a good evening.” She watched him walk to the door.
As he stepped into the hall, he stopped and turned. “If you didn’t want to stay ‘ere by yourself…you could….I mean…if you’d like, I’m goin’ to pick up me lads. You could come along and spend the evenin’ with us.”
She thought about it only for a moment. It did sound nice and the opportunity to spend more time with this man was an appealing offer.
“I think I might like that.” She smiled. “Let me just grab a sweatshirt.” She pulled out her shirt and followed him.
Chapter - 4
“Well, it’s just us and Ty ‘ere.” Sav buckled him into the car.
“Ok.” Clarissa smiled back at the toddler.
“Scott’s been real fussy and not feelin’ well. Paige wants to keep ‘im close to ‘er.”
“So what shall we do?”
“We could grab some dinner and then head to the ‘ouse?” He suggested.
“Sounds good.”
They grabbed some take-out and headed back to Sav’s house. There they ate, Sav fed Tyler, and they proceeded to play.
“I think I’ll get ‘is bath ready.” Sav stood. As he did, he looked down and noticed how well Clarissa had gotten along with his oldest son. Tyler had taken a liking to her right away.
“I’ll bring him up in a minute?” She looked up to notice him watching her.
“That’ll be great.” He bounded up the stairs.
A few minutes later, he’d just finished shutting the water off and turned to see Clarissa carrying Tyler up the stairs.
“Yes, little man. It’s time for your bath. You better make sure daddy ends up as wet as you are.” She giggled.
“I ‘eard that.” Sav chuckled.
“Oops!” She looked at Sav then turned back to Tyler. “Daddy heard that one. We’ve been busted.”
Tyler giggled at the funny face she made and Sav laughed.
“You’re pretty good with ‘im.”
“I love kids.” She handed Tyler over. “Besides, he’s great.”
“That’s my boy!” Sav hugged his son.
“Well, I’ll just wait for you downstairs.”
“I’ll just be a few minutes. I’ll give ‘im ‘is bath and then put ‘im down to bed.”
Within thirty minutes, Sav had given Tyler his bath and got him settled into bed. As he walked down the stairs, he noticed that Clarissa was cuddled on the couch watching the television. Her eyes were growing heavy and he could tell she was fighting sleep.
Just what kinda of nightmare did she have this afternoon? And were the dark circles under her eyes a result of these nightmares?
“Whatcha watchin’?” He sat down next to her.
“Oh, I was just flipping through the channels.” She handed over the remote.
“You look exhausted.” He grabbed the small throw pillow and placed it on his chest. “’Ere, lie back.” He pulled her back to where she was leaning against him. Within minutes, her eyes were shut and she was sleeping soundly against him.
Sav watched her sleep and tried to search his brain for what it was Bobbie had told him she did for a living. He then laid back and closed his eyes. That’s when he remembered her career. She was a firefighter in New York. No wonder she had nightmares. Was she there on 9-11? Did she experience that unthinkable act first hand?
The next morning, Clarissa woke up and stretched. That’s when she felt the hard body beneath her. She blinked her eyes and focused on her surroundings. She was still at Sav’s house. And it was morning. Late morning! She’d actually slept all night without a single nightmare.
“Mornin’.” He whispered in her ear.
“Morning.” She turned and was face to face with him.
“Did you sleep well?” He brushed a lock of hair from her face.
“The best I have in three months. Thank you.” She shuddered under his touch.
“Why are you thankin’ me?”
“I slept here with you. It’s the only thing I’ve done different that’s worked.”
“I’m glad I could ‘elp.” He studied her face. Her hair was sleep tousled and pulled loose from her braid. She looked beautiful and he was filled with an urge to kiss her.
So, he did.
His lips covered hers gently and she seemed to respond immediately. He parted her lips with his tongue and began a slow exploration or her mouth.
Clarissa felt intoxicated. The kiss was gentle yet his mouth assumed control and she willingly gave in. She’d never felt anything more powerful in her life.
Just as Sav was reeling in the moment, the sound of banging and laughing came through the baby monitor. He broke the kiss and stared into her eyes.
Clarissa noticed his eyes had turned a deep blue that made them look more incredible than they had before.
“I guess Ty’s ready to get up.” He finally broke the silence.
“Sounds like it.” She responded without moving.
“We’ll finish this another time.” He gave her a quick peck before getting up and disappearing up the stairs.
“I hope so.” She whispered to herself.
Chapter - 5
Bobbie stared while tapping her fingernails on the table. At the same time, Clarissa stood at the kitchen counter and poured herself a glass of water.
“What?” Clarissa couldn’t take it any more.
“Wanna tell me what you and Rick were up to last night?” Bobbie raised her eyebrows.
“Joe’s corrupted your mind.” Clarissa laughed and joined her at the table.
“No. My mind has always been this way. Joe just fine tuned it.”
“Now I’ve heard it all!”
“You need someone to do the same to you, love.” Joe laughed from the doorway.
“What makes you think that?” She looked up at him.
“Every woman does.” He dropped a kiss on Bobbie’s cheek. “Oh, by the way, Sav’s comin’ over before the benefit tonight.”
“I completely forgot!” Bobbie’s eyes grew huge. “Who’s his date?”
Joe looked at Clarissa and smiled. “Don’t know that ‘e ‘as one.”
Sav stared at Joe and pondered his last comment. He’d just suggested that he ask Clarissa to be his date for the benefit this evening.
“You can’t bloody tell me you think it’s a bad idea.” Joe glared at him.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Don’t ‘ave one.” Sav kicked his feet up on the table. “You?”
“Yeah. I don’t understand why you don’t walk upstairs and ask ‘er.”
“If you want to take ‘er so bad, ask ‘er yourself.”
“There’s that smartass again!” Joe took a drink of his beer.
“I’d love to take ‘er. I’d be the envy of every man there with ‘er on me arm.”
“So what’s the hold up?”
Bobbie and Clarissa continued to talk at the kitchen table.
“Are you going to give me details or let my imagination run wild?” Bobbie waited.
“No details. And for the record, your imagination always runs wild!”
Both girls were laughing and didn’t hear the men walk in.
“You two are havin’ entirely to much fun!” Joe laughed.
“Oh! Hi!” Bobbie giggled. “Sav.” She waived at him.
“I think I ‘ave somethin’ for you upstairs.” Joe held his hand out for Bobbie.
After they left the room, Sav and Clarissa stared at one another.
“You look much better today.” He commented.
“A good night’s sleep will do that for you.”
“Look…” He sat down next to her. “There’s this benefit t’night.” He grabbed her hand. “I was wonderin’ if you’d like to be my date?”
Clarissa smiled. “I’d love to.”
“Great! We have to go shopping!” Bobbie ran in from where she and Joe were hiding around the corner.
Chapter - 6
Clarissa stared at herself in the mirror. Her long black dress was ankle length with a slit up the side to her mid thigh. Bobbie had talked her into wearing her black hair down and curled so that it hung loosely around her shoulders. Then to top the outfit off, Bobbie had let her borrow diamond studded earrings and a matching diamond pendant. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so dressed up.
“You’ll take his breath away.” Bobbie stuck her head in the door.
“You think?” Clarissa turned to face her.
“If he doesn’t, he needs to get a stronger script on those glasses!”
They heard a low whistle and both girls turned to see Joe in doorway. His black tux fitting ever so perfect.
“I think I may just kick Savage to the curb and ‘ave both you lovely ladies on my arm t’night.”
“You’ll do no such thing!” Bobbie pointed her finger at him as the doorbell rang. “That’s him. We’ll be down in a minute.”
Joe walked downstairs, grinning from ear to ear. Clarissa was going to knock Sav’s socks off and he couldn’t wait to see his face. He opened the door and turned to walk to the bar.
“Come on in.” He hollered as he did.
“Thanks.” Sav rolled his eyes. After this many years, he knew when Joe was in one of his ribbing moods. Tonight was one of them.
He joined him at the bar and waited as Joe poured them both a drink.
“The girls will be down in a minute.” Joe wiggled his eyebrows.
“What’s up your arse, t’night?” Sav sipped his drink.
“Me? There’s nothin’ wrong with me, mate.” He looked to the stairs. “You on the other ‘and may need oxygen in a second.” He whispered and pointed to the stairs.
Sav turned and nearly dropped his drink when he saw her. It was the first time he’d ever seen her with her hair down and in a dress, for that matter. He felt himself grow instantly hard and his mouth went dry as his palms became sweaty.
He was certain that every man’s attention would be on her tonight. He knew his certainly would be.
Bobbie and Clarissa made their way downstairs and joined the men by the bar. Sav placed a simple kiss on her cheek and whispered a greeting in her ear. As his lips brushed her cheek, her skin tingled to life.
She stepped back and smiled while her eyes took him in. The man complimented a tux to perfection.
Once they arrived at the benefit, Joe and Bobbie headed off to talk with some friends. Sav stopped at the bar and picked up their drinks, returning to find Clarissa engaged in a conversation with a local reporter.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t consider givin’ me an exclusive?” Sav heard him ask. “I know that you are a New York firefighter and you’re stayin’ with Bobbie Tolsma.” He smiled. “You know, she’s a hot topic ‘ere in Dublin. Bein’ Joe Elliott’s girlfriend and all.”
“What was your name again?” She asked.
The reporter smiled. “Frank Townsend.”
“Well, Frank…” Sav noticed her tone had changed. “For your information, that is my best friend you’re talking about not a piece of meat or a prize story. As for your exclusive….when you’re man enough to handle the details from that day, you call my firehouse and I’ll set it up where you can listen to the men and woman in the department talk about loosing brothers, sisters, fathers…..people they’ve known and loved for more years than you’ve had a clue.” She got up in his face. “Then I’ll let you listen as they tell you what it was like to pull those people from a twisted burning pile because of promises made to bring them home.” She turned on her heal and headed out the door.
The reporter stood there shocked before looking at Sav. “You asked, mate.” He turned to follow her.
Chapter - 7
Sav found Clarissa on the balcony. He could tell from her posture that she was trying to contain her emotions.
He took off his jacket and placed it over her shoulders.
“Thanks.” She looked up at him.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m sorry about that.” She looked away. “I didn’t handle it very professionally. It’s just…there have been so many reporters back home. Every time you turn around, they’re calling the New York firefighters heroes. Wanting stories and exclusives.” She shook her head. “It’s just a lot of stress. None of us considers ourselves heroes. We had a job to do and we did it. The only difference was, this time, we lost 343 firefighters in the process.”
“I know.” He wrapped her in his arms. “I can’t begin to imagine what you feel.” He brushed his lips across her forehead. “But, I know, it takes remarkable strength to deal with it.”
“That’s just it.” She looked up into his eyes. “The nightmares….I’ve had them every night since the attacks. Every night except the one I spent with you.”
They stayed on the balcony a little longer with him just holding her. It seemed she needed just a few minutes of peace and quiet before they enjoyed their evening.
Meanwhile, Joe and Bobbie stood inside talking.
“How bad do you think Sav has it for Risa?” Bobbie asked him.
“Let’s just say I didn’t expect ‘im to be this interested in someone this close to Paige leavin’.”
“He’s so obvious about it too.”
“She’ll be good for ‘im.”
“Huh?”
“What?” He looked at her.
“She won’t leave New York, Joe. As much as I think they’d be a good couple, I know her. She loves what she does.”
“She can be a firefighter anywhere. Besides, she won’t need to work.”
“Jumpin’ the gun a little aren’t you?” She raised her eyebrows.
“No.” He finished off his drink.
“Plus, she couldn’t be a firefighter anywhere else. It just wouldn’t be the same for her.”
Sav rubbed his hands up and down Clarissa’s arms.
“Are you ready to go back in? Or would you rather call it an evenin’?” He asked.
“We just got here. I don’t want to leave yet.”
“Well, let’s head back in. I want to introduce you to a few people.” He led her back inside.
Chapter - 8
As the event ended, both couples headed out. Sav wasn’t ready for his evening with Clarissa to end.
“What do you say the two of us head back to my ‘ouse for a little time together?” He asked her.
“I think I’d enjoy that.”
When they arrived at his house, he opened a bottle of wine and they made their way to the living room.
“I don’t think I got the chance to tell you that you look absolutely gorgeous this evenin’.”
“Thank you.” Her cheeks blushed lightly. “My thoughts were the same for you.”
“How ‘ave you been sleepin’?”
“So so. The nightmares are still there.” She took a sip of her drink. “That reporter will ensure they return tonight.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t know a reporter would hit me up for a story. Besides, he started pissing me off with his comments regarding Bobbie.”
“The two of you are very close. It kinda reminds me how Joe and I are.”
“Bobbie is the only family I have. We were roommates in college and that turned into the best friendship I’ve ever had.”
“Yeah, she’s a great person. She’s good for Joe.”
“Bobbie’s good for everyone. I remember how she was there for me when my parents died.”
“And again after the attacks?” He probed.
He knew she needed to talk about it. Bobbie had asked him to see if he could get her to open up. He was surprised that she hadn’t talked with Bobbie about it. When he questioned that, she’d told him that he was the only one so far that had offered any break in the cycle she’d been living through since September.
They weren’t all that close yet. Not as close as he was beginning to realize he’d like to be. Did he have a right to coax her to talk? To invade her innermost turmoil?
She’d remained quiet, not even answering his question. She sipped her wine and closed her eyes.
“I’ve seen a lot over the years as a firefighter.” She spoke thoughtfully. “Both good and bad.”
“The bad comes with the good.”
She shook her head in agreement. “There wasn’t anything good that day. Not really.”
She took a deep breath and he waited for her to speak again. Maybe he wasn’t going to have to pry. Maybe something had triggered her to talk about it.
Could he handle what he heard?
Chapter - 9
She turned her head to look at him for a brief moment. In that moment, he saw the turmoil in her eyes. The haunting memories that plagued her sleep night after night. Then as quickly as it flashed, it disappeared. Replaced with a strength he admired. A strength that had gotten her through that day and every day after.
“It started out like normal. A beautiful day that I’d planned to start off with taking a run. It was my day off. I’d heard the planes flying over but you always here that in New York. Then, this loud explosion that followed a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. Just as I was walking out the door, my pager went off.”
She paused to take a breath, collecting her emotions and her thoughts.
“All available personnel were being called into the World Trade Center.” She wiped her eyes. “As I was rolling up to the staging area, the second plane hit.”
“It’s ok.” He rubbed his hand up and down her back. “Take your time.”
“By then, I’d learned that the Pentagon had been hit as well.” She shook her head. “How could one human do this to another?” She looked at him.
“I don’t know.” He whispered.
She jumped ahead a bit and began talking about when she suited up to go in.
“They were still sending teams in the first Tower. I got my orders, grabbed my gear and headed in. I was in the second tower. I had just made it up the first three flights of stairs when that horrible rumble came. We crouched down in the stairwell. It felt like that sound lasted forever.”
“When it was over, we heard yelling, others telling us to evac. Do you know how hard it is for a firefighter to egress? Knowing there are still people that need your help? Including your fellow firefighters?”
“You did the right thing.” He tried his best. “You ‘ad to get out. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t ‘ave been able to ‘elp anyone else.”
“But all those people that were already lost. How could we just turn and leave?”
“You did what you could.”
She took another deep, steadying breath. “Once we got out, you could hardly see even in the streets. The dust….concrete powder was everywhere.”
“Take it slow.” He soothed her again.
“You could hear the people running but you could barely make it out. When we made it to the triage area….the smell. Have you ever smelled burnt flesh? I have but that day it was magnified to an extent it make you sick with a single whiff.”
Sav felt his stomach turn at the picture she was creating. So much senseless destruction. He remembered the day. He’d been at home. After sitting in shock in front of the television, they’d both tried to reach friends in New York. Numb. That was a good word to use for what he’d felt that day.
“All around, people were burnt, cut, you name it, and they had the injury. I heard a crew talking about when they walked in the first tower. The elevator doors opened and three people walked off on fire.” She felt the tears pooling in her eyes again. It was so hard to think about this day, let alone talk about it. “The heat was so intense…”
Chapter - 10
Sav caressed her hair as she slept with her head resting against his chest. After she’d fallen asleep, he’d carried her upstairs to his bedroom so that they both could rest a little better.
So far, she’d slept a peaceful sleep for two hours. Sleep he wished he could get. Her words had created a mental picture that he couldn’t put out of his head. He also knew that she’d only hit the tip of the iceberg to. Those were only the first few hours of a day that had to seem like it dragged on into weeks.
He felt her stir, and he whispered in her ear. “Shh. Easy, love. You’re safe.”
She settled back and he continued to watch her sleep.
The next morning, Clarissa woke wrapped in a pair of warm and comforting arms. It was a feeling she hadn’t had in a long time. One she missed and hadn’t even realized it.
“Mornin’.” Sav felt her move.
“Morning.” She looked up into his face to see him watching her. “You did it again.”
“What’s that?” He smiled.
“Let me get a night of sleep without nightmares.” She smiled. “Can I convince you to quit the band and let me hire you?”
“You don’t ‘ave to ‘ire me, love. I rather enjoyed the feel of you in my arms.”
Clarissa felt her breath catch in her throat just seconds before his lips descended onto hers. The kiss was gentle. His tongue explored every crevice of her mouth as he pulled her body up the length of his.
She seemed to fit next to him as if she’d been made just for him. Was that possible? Was it possible that he’d found someone so soon after what he’d went through with Paige? He couldn’t just think of himself. Regardless of weather he had them all the time or not, he needed to consider his sons.
Breaking the kiss had left them both breathless. He stared into her eyes seeing the compassionate person that she was. A woman so independent and strong, she’d be able to handle his life.
“Maybe we should get up.” She moved to stand.
Just as he started to say something, the phone rang. Sighing, he picked up the receiver.
“’Ello?”
“Hey, Sav. Is it safe to assume Risa slept well last night?” Bobbie giggled. “Or did she not get the opportunity to sleep at all?”
“’Ere, ask ‘er yourself.” He laughed and handed Clarissa the phone.
Chapter - 11
Joe and Bobbie were in the kitchen when Sav and Clarissa walked through the door. They both noticed the way they looked at one another. They were completely smitten with each other.
“Well, morning.” Bobbie beamed.
“Here she goes.” Clarissa rolled her eyes.
“She’s spent to much time with Joe.” Sav chuckled.
“We’re workin’ on lunch. Care to stay and join us?” Joe looked at Sav.
“Sounds brilliant.” He smiled at Clarissa.
They ate lunch and talked over different things, nothing serious, just chatter. Clarissa realized she felt more relaxed this morning than she had in a long time. How was she ever going to leave?
The phone rang and Bobbie jumped up to get it.
“Bobbie?”
“Yes.” She recognized the voice. “Mark? Is that you?”
“Yeah. Is Mal still hanging around there?”
“She is. Just a sec.” She held the phone out. “Risa, it’s Mark.”
Clarissa stood and walked to the phone. Sav and Joe exchanged a look. He wasn’t jealous, he knew Mark was her lieutenant, but with a call she could be leaving and heading home before he was ready for her to.
“What’s up, Gamboni?”
“How’s the trip going?”
She turned and looked at Sav. “Better than I thought it would.”
“I’m glad to here that.” He sighed. “I hate to do this to you….”
“What?”
“We’re short staffed. We still have most of the guys down on the pile and others are being hit with illness.” He paused. “I need for you to head back to New York at the first available opportunity.”
She closed her eyes and let the words sink in. She was ready to head back if needed. However, part of her didn’t want to leave. Not yet.
“I’ll call you when I get everything together.”
“Thanks, Mal. Again, I’m sorry. I know I told you to take this trip and now I’m calling you back.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. It’s my life just like it’s yours.” She hung up.
“You’re leaving.” Bobbie jumped on her as soon as she turned around.
“They need me.” She nodded her head. “I have a few calls to make.” She turned and walked up to her room.
By that night, Clarissa had made her flight arrangements for the following evening. She was going home.
She thought of the look on Sav’s face when she’d told them she was needed back in New York. He’d been upset and after that searing kiss this morning, she wondered what was going through his mind. There had been something more he’d wanted to say. She wondered if she could handle knowing what was going through his mind?
Chapter - 12
Sav sat on his living room playing with Tyler as Scott entertained himself with his play gym. He was enjoying the time with his sons but at the same time, his mind couldn’t help but drift to Clarissa.
They’d had so little time together and he wanted more. He wanted to get close to her and he wanted to help her open up and talk about the rest of her nightmares.
The doorbell rang and he got up to answer it. As if his mind had conjured her up and delivered her to his doorstep, she was standing on the porch.
“Risa.”
“I hope I’m not intruding.” She smiled.
“No. The boys and I were just playin’.” He stepped back so she could walk in.
“Risa!” Tyler looked up and smiled.
Sav smiled as his son ran over and hugged her. That was important to him. That anyone he was interested in liked his boys, and his boys liked her.
“’Ave you eaten dinner?” Sav looked at her.
“No. I just finished making my flight arrangements for tomorrow night.” She looked down.
“Well, let’s get some dinner and then we can talk about that.” He led her to the kitchen. “I’m not the best cook but my food is at least eatable.” He chuckled.
“Try being in charge of cooking for twenty guys at a time.” She laughed. “You learn to cook real quick.”
“You can ‘elp me then.” He brushed a kiss across her cheek before opening the refrigerator.
They made dinner and fed the boys. After cleaning up, they headed into the living room to relax.
“Story.” Tyler handed Sav a book.
“Now?” He looked at his son.
“Pwease.”
“C’mon.” He pulled him onto the couch and placed him between himself and Clarissa.
Before they started, Clarissa placed Scott on her lap and they all huddled together for the story. Sav smiled as he read from the book and relaxed in the comfort of the family like setting.
This evening as well as the last one Clarissa had spent with him and Tyler added to the fondness he had for her. She fit into his family life. She accepted his children and they in turn seem to like her. It was perfect.
They finished the story with both children falling asleep where they were. They carried them upstairs and tucked them away in their beds. Sav kissed his sons goodnight and met Clarissa in the hall.
How was he going to let her leave without knowing where this possible relationship was heading? Did she even want one with him after she went home? Would she accept his life….his career and his family….handle having Paige as part of their lives….
“Are you in there?” She waived her hand in front of his face.
“Sorry.” He stared into her eyes.
Chapter - 13
They continued to stand in the hallway staring at one another. It was the last night they’d have before she went home and he knew exactly how he wanted to spend it.
“Risa…” He cradled the side of her face with his hand.
“Rick…”
He captured her lips and pushed her against the wall, covering her with his body. He could feel every curve of her body and the heat flooded his senses. He had to make her his. Talking would come later, now he needed to show her. Show her that he was falling in love with her. That somewhere in his mind, over time, he’d been doing that very thing little by little every time he’d seen her.
“Risa, I need you.” He breathed against her skin as his kisses moved down her neck.
She didn’t need to speak her response. One look in her eyes and he knew she wanted and needed as much as he did. He picked her up and carried her to his bedroom, making sure he locked the door behind them.
He gently laid her on the bed and fell in beside her. He caressed her skin, unbuttoning her shirt as his hands trailed down.
Risa closed her eyes at the sensations he was invoking within her. He was so gentle yet his touch was full of hunger. Her own hands covered his chest and wound into his hair.
Clothes were shed, and soon his body was covering hers. Delivering small kisses around her neck and face before claiming her lips once again.
“You’re so beautiful.” He caressed her face.
“Rick..” She pushed her hips into his.
“Shh…” He grasped her hips and in one smooth stroke, filled her.
The pace was slow, taking his time and making sure they both remembered this night. He had to show her how he felt as much as he needed to tell her.
Risa melted into his arms and met his thrusts, feeling the sensations build within her. She was close. Tilting her hips up, she saw his reaction to the change in sensation.
“Risa…oh God…” He quickened his rhythm.
“Oh, that’s it.” She grasped his shoulders and pulled him down for a kiss.
Together, they climaxed, collapsing into each other’s arms.
They lay in each other’s arms for some time without speaking. Both reflecting on what just happened. Finally, Sav had to talk.
“I know you ‘ave to go but, I don’t want you to leave.”
“You’re right, I have to. It’s not just a job for me, Rick. It’s my life.” She turned to look up at him.
“I know. It’s part of you that I admire.” He stroked her cheek. “I just look at ‘ow I feel for you and I think of ‘ow you could fit into my life.”
“Rick…” She couldn’t handle having this conversation. Not when she knew she had to get back to New York even though she’d be leaving her heart here with him.
“I’m fallin’ in love with you, Clarissa. I can’t ‘elp that.” He kissed her. “You’re everythin’ I need and want in a woman.”
Chapter - 14
Bobbie and Clarissa stood at the terminal and waited for her flight to be called. It had been a long day. She finally left Sav’s after lunch, which they’d had in bed. He reluctantly let her go, promising not to come to the airport to see her off. She’d told him it would be to hard for her.
“He’s having a hard time not being here.” Bobbie told her.
“I just couldn’t, Bobbs.” Clarissa turned to her. “It was hard enough at his house today and I just don’t see how things will work for us.”
“You could always move here. You know I’d love to have you close.”
“As wonderful as that sounds…”
“I know you’ve been thinking about the department since the attacks. I know you’ve weighted everything but are you sure staying on the department is what’s best?”
Clarissa sat thinking before answering. She’d taken into consideration the department and what she should do. She concluded that, she couldn’t let one bad thing, regardless of how big it was, and let it out weight all the good things she’d done over the years. Her heart belonged to the department. Well, at least the part she wasn’t leaving behind with Sav.
“It’s where I belong. It’s more than a job to me.”
“And Sav?”
“He’s a wonderful man. He deserves someone who can share his life with him. I’m not that woman.” She grabbed her carry-on. “It was good to see you, Bobbie. Take care and I’ll talk to you soon.”
“I will. You too.” Bobbie hugged her.
Joe sat in his studio and watched as Sav plucked at the strings of his acoustic guitar. He’d been quiet today and he understood why. His friend was in love.
“Wanna talk about it?” Joe asked.
“No.” Sav responded without looking up.
“It might ‘elp, mate.”
“How? She’s leavin’….” He looked down at his watch. “Right about now. Nothin’ I can do.”
“Just ‘cause she’s headin’ back to New York doesn’t mean you can’t ‘ave a relationship with ‘er.”
“It’s not just that. It’s what she does, Joe. She’s committed to the fire department and I respect that. I can’t and won’t ask ‘er to give that up for me.”
Joe sat back without saying anything else. It was deeper than he thought. He’d wait and talk to Bobbie. She knew Clarissa better than anyone and was with her when she left. He’d have to find out if the feelings were mutual.
Chapter - 15
Clarissa walked into the fire station and headed straight to her locker. There she dumped her bag before heading to the kitchen for coffee and then roll call.
“Mal, you’ll be riding the Engine today.” Mark looked up from his list.
She nodded her head. When they were finished, she’d grab her gear and stow it on the rig.
Ten minutes later, she busied herself with doing just that. As she was checking her air pack, Mark walked up behind her.
“Sorry I had to call you back.”
“Don’t worry about it.” She called over her shoulder as she placed the pack back in its place. “You know I don’t mind coming in when needed.”
“I know.” He leaned against the rig. He and Clarissa had worked together since the academy. They had even dated at one time, deciding after a few months, they were better off as friends.
“What?” She noticed he kept watching her.
“You look like you’ve actually gotten sleep.”
Clarissa couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face. Those nights of sleep were perfect. And the reason was more for the man that gave them to her than the needed sleep she got.
“I did.” She nodded her head.
“Wanna tell me the chap who helped with that?” He failed at using a British accent.
“It’s nothing I want to discuss.” She shut the door and turned to head toward the lounge.
Mark watched her as she walked away. “You like him.”
That stopped Clarissa in her tracks. She didn’t say anything, even when Mark walked in front of her and made her look at him.
“You really like him.” He raised his eyebrows.
“Gamboni! You’re treading on thin ice.”
“Kinda like the reporter you took out at the fund-raiser?” He chuckled.
Clarissa spun around, surprised. “How did you hear about that?”
“Bobbs. You had to know she’d call me.”
“Well, the ass had it coming.” She huffed.
“I agree.” He crossed his arms. “So, are you leaving us?”
“Did she tell you that too?”
“No. But she did tell me about this Rick guy and it makes me wonder if he’s the one thing that could make you give up firefighting.”
How could he know that she’d thought that very thing over the sleepless night? She’d been unable to sleep, not because of the nightmares this time, but for the lack of a warm body next to her.
“You know, it’s not such a bad thing.” He lowered his voice. “I hate to see you leave us but, I don’t want you to pass up on something that’ll make you happy.”
“I am happy.” Well, she was sorta. Not like she was before Sav but she was happy.
“Are you sure?” He walked away, leaving her to think about it.
Chapter - 16
Sav lay in his bed tossing and turning. Clarissa was all around him yet, she wasn’t here. Her perfume was on the sheets, her laughter in the air, and the memories were running ramped in his head.
He missed her and it was taking everything in him not to break down and call. He didn’t want to bother her while she was at work.
Glancing at the clock again, he figured it was around dinnertime in New York and, as long as she wasn’t on a call, she’d probably be sitting down to dinner soon.
After a couple of hours, he fell asleep only to be awaken by the alarms two hours later. He showered, dressed, grabbed his coffee, and headed to Joe’s. Working was the best thing for him to do right now and they could stand to work on some details of the new album.
“Well, don’t you look chipper this mornin’.” Joe smiled when he walked in.
“Sod off, Elliott.”
“Did you sleep at all?” Joe turned more serious.
“Very little.” He sighed. “I thought we could get to workin’ on some writin’.”
“We can. I’ve ‘ad some ideas lately, you can tell me what you think.”
“Anythin’ to keep my mind off ‘er.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Joe offered, sitting down.
“I can’t change who she is, Joe. I wouldn’t even if I could.”
Joe thought about his words. It was as serious as he thought it was and now he was certain that he needed to talk to Bobbie about them.
“Is it safe to say you’re in love with ‘er?” Joe asked.
“I know what you’re goin’ to say. How on earth could I fall in love with ‘er so fast.” Sav shook his head. “It wasn’t ‘ard, mate.”
“I wasn’t goin’ to say anythin’ of the sort. I know, Risa, Sav. She’s everythin’ you need.”
“I know.”
Later that night, Bobbie and Joe laid in bed talking.
“He said that?” Bobbie smiled.
“Like he needed to.” Joe sighed. “I don’t think I’ve seen ‘im this upset over a woman leavin’ before.”
“Risa ‘as that effect on men. The only problem is, she needs a good man.”
“You really don’t think she’ll ever leave New York?”
“It’s not New York she won’t leave, Joe. It’s the fire department. It’s her life and the guys are her family.”
“Damn.”
“I’ve already done the one thing I know to do.” She looked up at him.
“What’s that?” He smiled. He loved the fact that she was as sneaky as he was sometimes.
“I called Mark Gamboni, her lieutenant. They’re close, even dated at one time, and he’s gonna see if he can get through to her.”
“You ‘onestly think a man she dated will talk ‘er into seein’ another man?” Joe raised his eyebrows. Doubt lacing his voice.
“I do. Mark is a good man. They’re close friends and they both realized that’s all it would ever be. We’ll just have to see if he gets through to her.”
Chapter - 17
The months rolled by, lives got busier, and calls became fewer and fewer between everyone.
Clarissa stowed her gear on the Engine and then set off to hit the weight room this morning. She felt as though she had all this pent up energy raging through her. Maybe it was the latest conversation she’d had with Sav. It was the first time in months that he’d stressed wanting to see her. Wanting her to come to Dublin and even flying out to a show, they were having in the States in a few weeks.
“Mal!” Gamboni yelled as the tones rang through the station.
“I’m on it!” She turned and ran for the rig.
With the red lights and siren blaring, they headed out to a dispatch of an apartment fire. They recognized the building, ten calls over the last five months, had made it a familiar place to them all.
“Mal, Stevens….I want you on the inside. Thomas, Don….I want you to pull a hose and cover their backs.” Gamboni ordered as they pulled up.
When the trucks stopped, they all jumped off and grabbed their gear. Clarissa and her partner donned their air packs, grabbed a couple of axes, and made their way inside.
They dropped to their hands and knees just inside the door. The smoke was thick and black, making it almost impossible to see more than a foot in front of you.
“Mal! Over here!” Stevens yelled and pointed to a doorway on their right.
She nodded her head and led the way to the door.
Within fifteen minutes, they had checked four rooms and were heading to the fifth. A loud rumble followed by debris falling in front of them, caused them to stop.
“We’re gonna have to go back!” She yelled.
“Right!”
They both turned, Clarissa now following with Stevens leading. They had moved only about five feet when another rumble was heard.
Stevens turned in time to see a beam land across Clarissa’s mid section and pin her to the floor.
“Mal!” He turned to check on her.
“Get this thing off me!” She grunted.
He tried to move the beam but couldn’t. It was too heavy for him alone. Giving up, he checked her air supply. She had thirty minutes left.
“Lay still, Risa. You’re alarm will go off and they’ll come and get us.”
“You have to get out!” She yelled at him. She knew it was useless; none of them would leave one behind. Never.
“You know better than to even utter those words.”
He sat next to her and waited, taking a visual survey of her every few minutes, talking to her, it wouldn’t be long now.
The second team stood at the door. When the sound reached their ears, they prepared to go in.
“Lieutenant! We have an alarm!” Don yelled before turning back to the entryway.
Chapter - 18
“Stay with me, Mal.” Stevens shook her shoulder. “Don’t go to sleep.”
Clarissa listened to the voice even as she felt the burning in her back and legs. Her gear was protecting her but, it was breaking down and she could feel the heat. She’d estimated they’d been in place for roughly ten to fifteen minutes. That meant, the others had only fifteen minutes left before she was out of air.
“Mal, stay with me.” He commanded again. “It won’t be long.”
“I’m burning.” She groaned.
“I know. Hang in there.” He again tried to move the beam with no luck.
“Stevens! Mal!” Don yelled as they made their way through the building.
“They’ve been through here.” Thomas pointed to the X on the door, showing the first group had searched the room.
“Let’s keep going.”
“Damn!” Clarissa groaned as her legs continued to burn. “Where the hell are they?”
“Hang in there!” Stevens yelled to her. Then he stopped and listened.
“Mal! Stevens!” Don yelled as they turned the corner.
“Over here!” Stevens yelled in return.
“Come on!” Don started their way.
Within twenty minutes, they had Clarissa freed from the beam. Her PASS alarm had gone off just a few minutes before they’d finished and she was now sharing her air with Stevens.
Being as careful of her injuries as possible, the three men carried her out of the building and over to the waiting Medic.
“Mal?” Gamboni ran up to check on his crew.
“She lost consciousness before we made it out.” Don looked at him.
“Stevens, ride in with them and get checked out.” Gamboni ordered.
Stevens shook his head as he coughed. Climbing into the ambulance, they closed the doors behind him. The others returned to the job at hand and soon the ambulance took off for the hospital.
Chapter - 19
Gamboni stalked into the emergency room still wet and sooty from the fire.
“May I help you, sir?” The nurse behind the desk questioned.
“Two of my crew were brought in a couple of hours ago. Clarrisa O’Malley and Michael Stevens.”
The nurse typed on the computer and then looked back up at him.
“Mr. Stevens is in observation room 1 and Ms. O’Malley is in surgery.”
Mark rubbed his forehead as fear crept into his mind. “Point me to Stevens.”
Mark took off down the hallway she’d indicated and tried to slow his racing heart. Clarrisa was in surgery and he had to wait until they were done to talk to the doctor. He was anxious to find out the extent of her injuries and what the outcome might mean to Clarissa.
He’d seen her gear when they’d pulled her out. It had taken a lot of abuse. The fact that she’d run out of air and was sharing with Stevens before the egress made him uneasy as well. What kind of damage did she have to her lungs?
God, he needed answers and he needed them now. This was by far one of the worse parts of being a Lieutenant. The worry over every one of his crew. The fact that Clarrisa and he were close only made it worse.
“Gamboni.” Stevens looked up as his lieutenant walked in.
“How ya doing?”
“Been better.” He chuckled. “Actually, I’m fine. Just worried about Mal. They took her into surgery about an hour ago.”
“I know.” He sighed.
“I’ve been released but thought I’d hang around to see how she is.”
“Sounds fine. I’m going to make a few calls.” He walked back out and headed for the outer doors.
After several calls and messages, Mark made it through to Bobbie.
“This is Bobbie.”
“Hey, Bobbs, it’s Mark.”
Bobbie smiled thinking he had news about Clarissa’s feelings for Sav. “Did you talk some sense into her?”
“I’m not calling about that.” He took a deep breath. “There’s been a fire….”
Joe and Sav watched Bobbie talk on the phone. Joe immediately began to worry when her face dropped and she became pale.
“I don’t like the looks of that, mate.” Joe told Sav.
“What do you think it’s about?”
“Shit, she’s cryin’.” He stood and walked over to her.
Bobbie turned and hung up the phone as Joe approached.
“What is it, baby?”
“I have to leave!” She fell against his chest and cried.
“Sav, find Mal.” Joe turned and barked out the order. “Where do you need to go?”
“New York.” She wiped at her tears.
Joe frowned for a second and then his mind kicked into gear. “No.”
“Risa’s been hurt in a fire.” She spoke as Sav walked back up with Mal.
Chapter - 20
Mark rubbed his eyes, waking himself up. He must have dosed off sometime after talking to the doctor. He looked over to the bed and saw that Clarissa was still asleep.
He glanced at his watch and determined that Bobbie should be arriving soon. She’d said they’d been in Atlanta when he called and that she’d grab the first flight out.
Clarissa groaned as the pain in her legs became more evident again. Images of the fire flashed through her mind as she slowly began to wake up.
“Hey.” Mark spoke soothingly. “Take it easy.”
“My legs hurt.” She growled.
“They’re going to, hon. Third degree burns will do that to ya.”
“Third?” She blinked her eyes, trying to focus.
“Easy with the eyes as well.”
“You’re all fuzzy.” She tried to sit up.
“Here.” He pushed the button to raise the bed a little. “Your eyes were damaged from the heat.”
“I need a drink.” She pointed to the water bottle. “And what the hell else is wrong with me?”
“Maybe you should just take it easy.”
“I want to know, Mark. Please.”
Mark stared at for a long moment. Her eyes told him that she knew she wasn’t going to like the news.
How did he tell her though? How did he look at her and tell her the career she loved so much was over? If not permanently, at least for a long while until she fully recovered?
“I think we should talk about this later.”
“No.” She spoke even as her eyes grew heavier. Before she knew it, she was fast asleep again.
Taking the opportunity, Mark stepped out of the room to grab a bite to eat and stretch his legs. Just as he began walking down the hall, Bobbie turned the corner and ran straight for him.
“How is she?” Bobbie hugged him.
“Sleeping.” He sighed, exhaustion evident in his voice.
“So she came through surgery okay?”
“Until she learns the damage, yeah.”
“Dear, where are my manners?” Bobbie turned to Sav. “Mark Gamboni…Rick Savage.”
“Aye.” Sav extended his hand. Mark shook it, sizing up the rock star as he did.
“Wish it would have been better circumstances.”
“Me too.” Sav looked to Clarissa’s door.
“Like I said, she’s sleeping but go ahead in.”
“Thanks, mate.” Sav wasted no time in getting to her side.
“So, that’s him?”
“Yeah.” Bobbie grinned.
Sav let out a small gasp as he saw Clarissa all bandaged up. It took another minute for his heart rate to slow to an even pace.
“Rick?”
“’Ello, beautiful.” He grasped her hand.
“When did you get here? How did you know?”
“Man, when you wake up your brain kicks right in, doesn’t it?” He chuckled, instantly feeling better at hearing her voice.
“No time to waste.” She smiled. She was so happy to see him again.
“I’ve missed you.” He leaned down and kissed her.
Clarissa felt her skin tingle and not from the burns or the ointment. It was the touch of this man.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“You scared me to death. I couldn’t get here fast enough.”
“It’s just a few minor burns. I’ll be good as new in no time.” She told him as much to convince him of her well-being as to convince herself it was true.
Chapter - 21
The next morning the doctor came in to see Clarissa.
“Finally, I’ll get some straight answers.” Clarissa looked at the doctor.
“Good morning.” The doctor smiled before looking at the others. “You weren’t kidding when you said she was a feisty one.”
“I told ya!” Mark laughed.
Sav sat back and listened to the banter between Mark and the doctor. It surprised him that he knew so much about Clarissa. Yeah, they worked together, for long periods but it was almost as though he knew intimate things as well.
“So, doc, tell me what Gamboni won’t.” Clarissa cut to the chase.
He opened her chart, read over a few things, and then looked up to meet her eyes. “Your injuries are serious, Mal. Third degree burns on both legs. Second degree on your lower back, minor burns to your eyes, lungs, neck, and face.”
“Could you give us a run through in English?” Sav shook his head at the long list of injuries.
“The minor burns will heal themselves in a few weeks. The eyes and lungs are the ones that will aggravate her the most out of those. You’ll have a few problems breathing for a couple of months and it may be hard to focus your eyes for awhile.”
“I can tell that much so far.” Clarissa rolled her eyes.
“Okay…okay.” The doctor held up his hands. “The ones that concern me the most are the legs. They’ll require skin graphs after they heal.”
“More surgery?”
“More?” Sav’s head whipped up. “I didn’t know you’d already been in surgery.”
“They took her to surgery immediately to remove her gear from the burnt parts of her legs and back.” Mark spoke up.
“Risa?” Sav looked at her.
“What? I didn’t know until it was over. I was unconscious when they brought me in.”
“Now the bad news.” The doctor broke in.
“There’s more?” Bobbie finally spoke.
He nodded his head and turned to Clarissa. “You’ll have to remain on inactive leave for at least six months.”
Clarissa’s mouth dropped open and she turned to Mark. How could he do that to her? The department was her life. Everything she loved. Well, almost everything.
“How could you do that to me?” Her voice full of anger as she looked at Mark.
“I made the decision as your lieutenant, Mal. I had to.”
“Get out!” She huffed.
“Risa….” Sav reached for her.
“Everyone get out and leave me alone.” She looked away from them all.
Chapter - 22
Bobbie watched as Sav paced the waiting room floor. "Why don't you sit down?"
"Huh?” He looked up. "No."
"You know, the brighter side to this is that you may get to spend more time with her."
"How's that? We're tourin', Bobbie.” He frowned. The thought of spending time with her was appealing to say the least. However, she wouldn't be up to it, he was sure.
"It'll be a while before those burns on her legs heal and they can do the graphs. In the meantime, it would be good for her to have someone to look after her."
"Like she's stand for that.” He chuckled. "When are the shows in New York?"
"After the one in Atlanta tomorrow night.” She smiled.
"I'll be back. I 'ave a few calls to make."
Sav flipped open his cell phone as he stepped outside. Dialing furiously, he waited for Malvin to answer the other end.
"'Tis Stumpus.” Mal shouted over the others in the background.
"Mal, it's Sav. I need a favor...."
Clarissa sat alone in the room and stared out the window that overlooked the New York skyline. With her medical training, she knew the time she’d been signed off for was minimal to say the least. In truth, she knew it would be much longer before she could return to active duty. Still, the one thing a firefighter hated more than anything was to be sidelined.
Bobbie stuck her head inside the room and waited for Clarissa to turn her way.
“Come on in, Bobbs.”
“I wanted to make sure you heard me first.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my hearing. Just everything else.” She huffed.
“I don’t understand the attitude, Risa.” Bobbie took the seat next to the bed.
“I have my reasons.”
“Yeah, but are they good ones?” Bobbie raised her eyebrows.
Clarissa turned to Bobbie and realized that only she herself knew her thoughts. Well, Mark probably knew the outcome of her injuries as well. Thank God, he was good enough not to vocalize them.
“It’s over.” She put her head down.
“What is?”
“Me and the department.” She sighed. “With my injuries, especially to my lungs and eyes, I probably won’t pass the physical exam for re-instatement.”
“Then maybe you should give other aspects of your life the chance they deserve.” She patted her hand.
Chapter - 23
Malvin looked up as the door to the guy’s hotel room opened. It was just under three hours to show time and they were waiting on Sav to return from New York.
“Well, mate, glad you could make it.” Mal smiled as Sav walked in the room.
“Thanks.” Sav smiled and stepped out of the way. Behind him was Bobbie pushing Clarissa in a wheelchair.
They’d been able to talk to the doctor into an early release, sorta speak, with the promise that she’d be under direct supervision at all times with a physician accompanying her on her travels with Sav.
What Clarissa and Bobbie hadn’t known is that Sav had already called Malvin and arranged for all of that to be taken care of.
“Risa!” Joe ran to her side.
“It’s looks worse than it is.” She held up her hand.
Joe looked to Bobbie and Sav for confirmation. “Third degree burns on the legs and back, makes it kinda hard to walk, Joe.” Clarissa answered for them.
Joe nodded his head as the others greeted her. He took a moment to kiss Bobbie and tell her he missed her while she was gone.
“You wanna rest before the show?” Sav knelt down to ask her.
“Might not be a bad idea.”
He pushed her across the hall to their own room and got her settled on the bed.
“Mind if I cuddled with you for a bit?” He nuzzled her neck.
“Mmm. I don’t think I’d mind.”
He spread out beside her and wrapped his arms around her. The last couple of days for her had been rough and he wasn’t sure what to expect from her.
“I’m sorry if I’ve been a bit grouchy lately.” She rubbed his arm. “It’s just hard to except.”
“I know.” He kissed her lightly on her temple. “I’m ‘ere for you to vent to, though.”
“Thanks.” She turned to kiss him. “How are the boys?”
Sav couldn’t hide his smile if he’d tried. “Doin’ great. I talked to Ty last night and Paige said that Scott is growin’ like a weed.”
“I miss them. I’m sure you wish you could have them with you.”
“I do.” He nipped at her neck. “You know, once you get to feelin’ better, I could talk to her about bringin’ them out to stay with us a while.”
“I think I’d love that as much as you.” She settled into his arms and closed her eyes.
Chapter - 24
Clarissa sat with Bobbie at the side of the stage for the show that night. The nap earlier had done wonders for her mood and she was enjoying herself immensely.
“You know, he loves you very much.” Bobbie whispered in her ear.
“I know.” Clarissa sighed. “But, our lives are half a world away.”
“They don’t have to be anymore.”
Those very words whirled around Clarissa’s mind through the rest of the show. Once the guys had exited the stage and had their showers, she sought out Sav.
“How you feelin’, love?” He kissed her.
“Good. Can we go somewhere alone?”
“Anythin’ for you.” He pushed her through the arena until he found an empty room for them to talk.
He sat down on the sofa and pulled her into his arms. He loved the thought of being able to spend time with her on a regular basis again. He loved the thought of having the chance to take care of her. But, what was he going to do when she was ready to go home and pick up her life again? And the fire department? Would she ever give it up for him? Could he ask her do that?
“There’s something I need to tell you.” She started.
“Okay.” He patiently waited.
“The inactive time that Mark signed off on for me is just the minimal.” She took a deep breath. “It allows my benefits to stay in place while I recover.” She turned and looked into his eyes. “My career is over.”
Sav was shocked. It was the last thing he’d expected to hear from her. He knew how difficult it must have been for her to except it.
“Oh, baby.” He pulled her tightly to him.
“I’ll probably be a little touchy about the subject for a while but I’ve decided that I want to focus on other aspects of my life.”
“I’m behind you.” He cupped her face, hiding his fear so that she couldn’t see. What if this new focus didn’t allow time for him? Could he walk away from her so that she was happy? “I’m behind you, whatever it is.”
“That’s good.” She smiled. “I want you.”
“You ‘ave me.” He kissed her. “You’ll always ‘ave me.”