Test of Time

Chapter - 1

The young couple stood at the gates and looked up to the large house. The realtor was running late and it gave them a chance to admire the view of the house itself.

“Can we really afford this?” She looked at her husband.

“We can.” He grabbed the little girl’s hand. “Come on, let’s check it out.”

They walked up to the house and looked around. They had just walked back to the porch when the realtor walked up.

“Mr. and Mrs. Savage?” She smiled.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Taylor and this is my wife, Jayla.”

“It’s a pleasure. I’m Hannah Bronson from the Realtor Company. Shall we go in?”

“Please.” Jayla smiled.

They looked around the house and listened as Ms. Bronson rattled off facts. Taylor didn’t really hear a thing. He’d already made up his mind regarding the house. The band was doing well and his bank account was beginning to reflect that so, affording the house was not a problem. The biggest selling point though was, Jayla loved it. She had from the minute she laid eyes on it. For that reason alone, he had planned to buy it.

“So, are you still interested?” Hannah looked at the couple.

Jayla looked to Taylor and smiled. “I love this place, Tay.”

He nodded his head and looked back to the realtor. “You ‘ave my offer.”

“I do.” She pulled it from a stack of papers. “And the owners ‘ave excepted.” She smiled.

“Why don’t you get with my solicitor and ‘ave ‘im review the papers.”

“Will do. Here’s my card if you ‘ave any questions. I’ll send everythin’ over to ‘im this afternoon and wait to ‘ear from you.” She shook their hands.

“Thanks.”

Taylor and Jayla walked out to the car. Once little Kenzie was strapped in her seat, Jayla turned to him.

“Why did we look at the ‘ouse today if you’d already made up you’re mind?”

“You wanted it.” He started the car. “And I plan on spoilin’ me girls for the rest of my life.” He flashed her the Savage grin.

“I like the way that sounds.” She giggled.

Chapter - 2

Sav sat on his back patio sipping his coffee and talking with Phil on the phone.

“I still think you should come.” Sav sighed. “The kids would love to see you and it is Kenzie’s birthday.”

“I’m tryin’, mate.” Phil laughed. “It just depends on if I can get the kids away for the trip.”

“If you hadn’t bloody moved to LA we wouldn’t ‘ave to worry about that.” Sav waved as the kids walked through the back door.

“I’m tryin’!”

“I’ll let them know. Look, the kids just showed up so I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright. Give my love to everyone.”

“Will do. Bye.” He hung up.

As soon as Sav hung up the phone, Kenzie went running over to his open arms.

“Grandpa!” She giggled as Sav hugged her tight.

“Aye, love.” He kissed her cheek. “How’s grandpa’s girl?”

“We looked at a new ‘ouse today.”

“You did?” His eyes moved up to his son.

“Yep.”

“Hi Uncle Sav.” Jayla hugged and kissed his cheek.

“Jayla.”

“C’mon, sweetie. Let’s go see if we can find grandma Paige.”

“Ok! Bye, grandpa!” She waived her tiny hand as she followed her mother.

Taylor grabbed a beer and sat down next to his father.

“A ‘ouse?” Sav looked at him.

“The one down the street.” He sipped his beer. “I made the offer and then took Jay to see it today.”

“You made the offer first?”

“Yeah. She’d seen and read all about it. Add the fact that you along with Uncle Joe and Aunt Nat next door, was a sellin’ point for ‘er.”

“I see.”
“She wants it, she’ll get it.” Taylor nodded his head.

Jayla found Paige in the kitchen baking cookies.

“Great.” She sighed quietly.

“Oh, lookie there!” Paige smiled as she came around to give Kenzie a hug.

“Hi, Paigie.” Kenzie giggled.
”’Ello, sweetheart.” She hugged the child. “Did you find grandpa outside?”

“He and TK are talkin’” Jayla smiled. “We looked at the ‘ouse down the street.”

“You did?”

“Yes. It’s so beautiful.”

“It’ll be nice to ‘ave you guys close again.”

“I know. This runnin’ back and forth to London is old.” Jayla sat down at the counter.

“So, you and Kenzie will stay ‘ere when he ‘as to travel now?”

“If we get the ‘ouse.”

“’Ave you talked to Taylor about that?”

“Not yet.” She sighed. “I know he wants us to travel with ‘im as much as we can but it just gets to be to much sometimes with Kenzie.”

Chapter - 3

Everyone gathered around the table outside for dinner. Sav had called and invited Joe and Natalie over.

“Pass me the salad, mum.” Jayla asked.

“So, nice try on changin’ the subject, lass.” Joe looked to his daughter.

“It’s a ‘ouse, dad.”

“I know. And it will be nice to ‘ave you close again.”

“We’ll still be travelin’.” Taylor jumped in. “It doesn’t change the fact that I want my girls with me as much as possible.”

Sav noticed Paige look at Jayla. The look didn’t escape Joe either.

“What’s up with that?” Joe raised his eyebrows.

“What?” Jayla tried to act innocent. Now was not the time she wanted to discuss this.

“The look.” He pointed between Paige and Jayla.

“Dad…”

“I can still read you like a book, love.”

“Joe, not now.” Nat jumped in. Jayla had already talked to her about it and she knew that it needed to be discussed between the couple and not everyone else.

“What? I still ‘ave a right to know what my daughter’s up to.”
”This is not the time.” Nat spoke more sternly. The last thing Jayla needed was her dad’s big mouth adding to the situation.

The table grew quiet as everyone finished their dinner. When they were done, Taylor grabbed Jayla’s hand and they took off for a walk.

“So, what is it you need to talk to me about?” He asked.

“How did you know….”
”We’ve known each other all our lives, Jay. I know you.”

She took a deep breath and released it. “It’s about the ‘ouse and Kenzie and I travelin’ with you.”

“Travelin’?”

“It just gets so hectic travelin’ all the time, TK. When we finish the deal on the ‘ouse, I’d like to be able to stay ‘ome more.”

“So you’re sayin’ you don’t want to support me anymore?” He sounded aggravated though his voice stayed even.

“I didn’t say that.” She rubbed her forehead. “I love travelin’ with you and I’ll support you till the end of time….it’s just, I want Kenzie to ‘ave somethin’ a little more stable.”

“Stable?”

“Don’t you remember bein’ ‘ome more as a kid than it seems we are now?” She looked at him. “We didn’t travel with our dads as much as Kenzie and I are travelin’ with you now.”

“I want my family with me, Jay.” He looked away and then back to her. “I want my wife’s support.”

“I do support you.”

“Funny, it doesn’t feel like it.”

“Taylor, please. I don’t want to fight over this. Let’s just keep it in mind.”

“Fine.”

“I love you.” She wrapped her arms around his waist.

“I love you, too.” He dropped a kiss on her lips. “I do all this for you, ya know.”
”I know.”

The adults sat around the table talking. Sav had Kenzie firmly placed on his lap as she worked on her ice cream, ignoring the conversation around her.

“Will you ever learn when to keep your mouth shut?” Nat looked at Joe.

“No.” Sav laughed as he answered for him. “It’s an actual flaw in the man.”

“Buggar off, Savage.”

“He has a point.” Nat giggled. “You’ve always had a problem with sticking your foot in your mouth.”

“I ‘ave not!” Joe mocked. “I’ll ‘ave you know, I knew what I was sayin’ every time.”

Sav and Nat looked at each other. They didn’t know if that was bad or worse.

Chapter - 4

Jayla sat down and wiped her arm across her forehead. They’d been moving all day and she needed to rest.

They’d called and gotten everyone together to help them in order to be all moved in by Kenzie’s birthday the following weekend.

“Knock knock!” Sav stuck his head in the front door.

“Please tell me you ‘ave food?” Jayla smiled at him.

“Yeah, and I also found ‘im.” He pointed over his shoulder.

“Uncle Phil!” Jayla ran over and gave him a u hug. “I was hopin’ you’d make it.”

“How are you, love?” Phil kissed her cheek.

“Fine. Come on.” She pulled him toward the living room. “Kenzie..”

“Unca Philly!” She beamed when she saw him.

Phil’s smile grew as he looked down at her. She had inherited Taylor’s green eyes and she had bouncy blonde hair just as her grandma had.

“There’s my girl!” Phil scooped her up in his arms. “I ‘ave a present for you.”

“It’s not even my birthday yet!”

“I know. This is just a little pre-birthday present.”

Kenzie looked at her mom and Jayla nodded her head.

“Where is it?” Kenzie turned back to Phil.

“In my bags.” He led her out to where he’d left them by the door.

Later that afternoon, they got the rest of the furniture moved. They got the beds set up and then placed the living room furniture in some sort of order.

“What do you want to do for dinner?” Jayla looked around the group.

“I ‘ave an idear.” Sav spoke up. “Why don’t Paige and I take Kenzie for the night and let you two ‘ave a little time.”

“You don’t mind?” Taylor looked at his dad.

“No. You two ‘ave been workin’ ‘ard today and we don’t mind.” He looked to Paige.

“Of course not. She’s a delight to ‘ave.” Paige added.

“I think it would be nice.” Jayla rubbed Taylor’s back as he stood beside her.

“I’ll get her things together.” Taylor headed up the stairs.

“I’m stayin’ with you?” Kenzie looked to Sav.

“Yep. We’ll stay up all night and eat junk food and watch cartoons….”
”Uncle Sav…” Jayla crossed her arms and looked at him.

“Shh. We just won’t tell mummy.” He chuckled.

Chapter - 5

Jayla walked back into the living room after everyone had left. There she found Taylor sitting on the couch with his eyes closed.

“So…” She straddled his lap. “What shall we do with an evenin’ alone?”

“Oh….I can think of a thing or two.” He smiled as he ran his hands up her thighs.

“I’m listenin’.” She ground her hips into his.

“Oh, God, Jay. I love when you do that.” He groaned.

“Whatcha goin’ to do about it?”

He wrapped his arms around her waist as he stood. He headed for the stairs and their new bedroom as he crushed his lips to hers.

“I think it’s time we christened our new bedroom.” He whispered as he lowered her to the bed.

His mouth hungrily moved across her body as he removed her clothes. Every inch of her beautiful skin fell prey to his touch. If there was one thing he’d loved over the years since their first time together, it was the way her body reacted to his.

As Taylor’s mouth roamed her body, Jayla’s hands worked on pushing his shirt off his shoulders. She then ran her fingers over his chest and up through his hair, pulling his mouth closer to her body.

“I’m so ‘ard.” He pushed his hips into hers. “You do that to me, love.”

“Tay!” She bucked her hips against him. “Please….”

He hastily removed the rest of their clothes and returned to cover her body with his. He captured her lips again in a searing kiss as he gently slipped himself inside her.

He set the pace with slow, even strokes increasing the pace when she raked her nails across his back and screamed his name.

He thrust harder as she tightened around him, sending him over the edge.

With his breathing labored, he rolled off next to her and pulled her into his arms.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She kissed him before cuddling up in his arms.

A short time later, they emerged from the bedroom long enough to grab some food. It was obvious that Taylor was going to take full advantage of Kenzie being gone. Before Jayla had even finished her dinner, his hands were caressing her thighs, stomach, and anywhere else he could reach from his chair. The next thing she knew, he was carrying her off to the music room he’d set up.

“Why ‘ere?” She asked breathless from his latest kiss.

“We’ll ‘it every room before the night’s over.” He thrust himself into her.

Sav sat on the edge of the bed with Kenzie tucked underneath his arm reading a book.

“Once upon a time…”

“No, grandpa.” She put her hand on the book. “Tell me the story of grandma.”

“Huh?”

“Daddy tells me a story about grandma. ‘Bout ‘ow I ‘ave ‘er bouncy ‘air and ‘er eyes….”

Sav smiled as he stood to retrieve the picture of Mackenzie. He was proud that his son had already started teaching his daughter about his own mum.

“This is your grand mum. She was your daddy’s mummy.”

“She’s pretty.”

“She was very beautiful.” Sav smiled. “You know, you look a lot like ‘er.”

Kenzie shook her head and watched as her curls bounced around her face. She giggled and Sav laughed at the silliness.

“Time for you to go to sleep, silly girl.” He pulled the sheets up to her chin. “G’night, sleep tight.”

“Night.” She kissed him goodnight.

Sav checked the nightlight and then walked to the door. He turned and checked one last time before closing the door, leaving just a small crack open in case she needed anything during the night.

Chapter - 6

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…happy birthday dear, Kenzie. Happy birthday to you!” The group sang as Kenzie eagerly waited to blow the candles out.

“Now, mummy?”

“Now.” Jayla nodded her head.

Kenzie took a big breath and blew the five candles out on the cake. When she’d finished, Jayla and Nat worked on removing the candles and cutting the cake.

“’Ere, dad!” Jayla held out a piece of chocolate cake for him. “Uncle Rick.” She held out another.

“Here, Phil.” Nat handed him and Sav a piece.

The guys huddled around one of the patio tables as they ate their cake and talked.

“So, you'll be headin' to London next week?” Joe looked to Taylor.

"Yeah. I'll be there for two days then we head out on our first leg of the European tour."

"Jay and Kenzie goin' with you?” Sav questioned.

"Not this time. She says she wants to give Kenzie a litt'l more stability.” Taylor rolled his eyes.

"Ya know, you're own mum would 'ave done the same thing if she'd been around.” Sav nodded his head.

"Yeah, right!” Joe laughed. "There were times I thought Nat and Kenz traveled more than we did!"

"We'll see 'ow it works this time 'round.” Taylor took a sip of his beer. "Then we'll take it from there."

"Good idear.” Sav finished his cake.

Two weeks later, Taylor sat in his hotel room staring at the ceiling. His wife and daughter should be with him.

“Yo, TK!” Chris, a band mate, pounded on his door.

“Yeah?” He opened the door.

“Hey, there are some fans downstairs that are just hangin’ around. Wanna go ‘ave some fun?”

“Beats sittin’ ‘ere alone.” He grabbed his wallet and followed Chris.

Jayla and Kenzie finished dinner then made their way into the living room to watch a movie.

“Can we watch Beauty and the Beast, mummy?” Kenzie held the video up with pleading eyes.

“Sure, baby.” She took the tape and placed it in the player.

“Is daddy goin’ to call t’night?”

“I think so.” She sat down next to her. “Do you miss ‘im?”

“Un huh. Can we go see ‘im?”

“I’ll talk to daddy when he calls.”

Later that night, Jayla had put Kenzie to bed then walked down to her own room. It was nearly 10:00 and Taylor had yet to call. Up till now, he’d made sure he called early so that he could talk to her. What was up tonight?

She slipped her nightgown on and crawled in bed. Before long, her eyes were heavy and she fell asleep.

Chapter – 7

Taylor, Chris, and two females companions who had joined them sometime throughout the night, finished off their latest rounds.

“Well, I think Miss Amy and I are goin’ to take this party back to my room.” Chris pulled the brunette to her feet.

“Mmm. That sounds like a great idea.” Michelle, the blonde, whispered into Taylor’s ear.

“She’ll make it worth your effort.” Amy smiled.

Taylor considered the offer for a moment. Then he felt her hand slowly moving up his thigh toward his obvious erection.

“What the ‘ell!” He grabbed Michelle’s hand and led her to his room.

The next morning, Taylor woke up with the feeling of arms and legs intertwined with his.

“Mornin’, baby.” He kissed the mass of golden hair beside him.

“Morning.” Michelle whispered.

Taylor’s heart jumped at the sound of her voice. He searched his foggy memory to figure out whom he was with. A woman who was clearly not his wife.

Chris roused him from his room and they headed to the bar. After several rounds, two very beautiful women joined them. There was drinking, and lots of it. Then, Chris and…..and…..Amy, good, he remembered her name, ran off to his room. At the same time….damn! Who was he with? Um….Micki…no….Mary…..no….Michelle! Yeah, her name was Michelle.

“Hello?” Michelle waived her hand in front of him.

“Oh, sorry, love.” He flashed her a smile.

“I wanted to know if you wanted to join me for a shower this morning?”

Taylor knew he shouldn’t. Knew he’d already crossed a line that could cost him his marriage and his family if Jayla ever found out. But, the loneliness of the road wasn’t going to end anytime soon. And if his wife and daughter weren’t going to travel with him then, he’d have to go for someone with willing arms.

“That’s sounds like a bloody great idea. But, first things first.” He rolled over and thrust his way inside her.

Back in Dublin, Jayla started the day by fixing breakfast then heading out to her parent’s house for a day of shopping Nat.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take ‘er with me, dad?” Jayla watched as Joe and Kenzie sat at the piano.

“Go on!” Joe smiled. “By the time you get back, this litt’l angel with be a brilliant pianist.”

“Yeah, right. Good thing it’s a piano and not a guitar.” Jayla rolled her eyes and chuckled.

“I ‘eard that. You’ve been listenin’ to your uncles to much, young lady.” Joe responded.

Just as Nat and Jayla were finishing up lunch, Jayla’s cell phone rang.

“Jayla Savage.”

“’Ello, love.” Taylor growled.

“Hi. Is everythin’ okay?” She asked, concerned, since he hadn’t called the night before.

“Yeah. Sorry about last night. The guys and I went out and it was late. I didn’t want to wake you or Kenzie.”

“Well, your daughter misses you and so do I. “’Ow about we come for a visit?”

“I’d love that.” He smiled to himself. He’d have to juggle a few things but it would be the first test as to whether or not he was going to be able to pull this off.

“Good. When’s your next date?”

“London, then we’re off to Sheffield.”

“Well, maybe we’ll just stick with you through that date. We can take Kenzie to see our grandparents.” She suggested.

“Sounds great, love.” He looked over his shoulder and saw Chris approaching with Amy and Michelle. “I ‘ave to run now. I’ll call when I get the arrangements made.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.” He answered before hanging up.

“There you are!” Chris raised his eyebrows.

“’Ad a few things to take care of.” He smiled as Michelle placed her arm around him.

“I missed you.” She kissed his neck.

“We need to find, Peter. I ‘ave some arrangements that need to be made.” Taylor looked at Chris.

“Well, ladies, it appears duty calls.” Chris kissed Amy. “Wait for me in the room?”

“Sure.” She giggled.

“Can you ‘ang with Amy while we take care of things?”

“Hurry back.” She ran her hand across his tight bum.

Once the girls were on their way to the rooms and the guys safely headed in the opposite direction, Chris brought up Taylor’s phone call.

“So, is the wife pissed at ya?”

“What? No.” He shook his head. “I need Peter to set up a flight for ‘er and Kenzie to London and tell ‘im they’ll be with us ‘til Sheffield.”

“So you get what you’ve wanted?” Chris smiled.

“Yeah.” Taylor grinned. “Now I just ‘ave to figure out ‘ow to hide Michelle.”

“So, you’re goin’ to continue to see ‘er?”

“We’ll see ‘ow things go with Jay.” He sighed.

Chapter – 8

As soon as Kenzie spotted Taylor waiting for them in the airport, she took off running toward him.

“Daddy!” She jumped into his arms.

“How’s my baby?” He kissed her cheek.

“I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.” He hugged her close as Jayla stopped next to them. “Hi, baby.” He planted a kiss on her.

“Mmm.” She smiled. “Does that mean you’ve missed me too?”

“You know it.” He slapped her ass. “Let’s get your luggage so I can get you back to the ‘otel.”

The three walked into the hotel and were quickly greeted by Chris.

“Aye, mate.” Taylor frowned.

“Got a minute?” Chris through his hand over his shoulder and pointed to his room.

“My family just got ‘ere. Can it wait?”

“I don’t think so. It should only take a minute.” Chris looked to Jayla.

“Go, on TK. I’ll take Kenzie into the room and we’ll get settled.” She kissed him. “And I’ll be waitin’.” She whispered in his ear.

“I’ll just be a minute.” She kissed her back and followed Chris.

They stepped into Chris’s room before either spoke again.

“What the bloody ‘ell couldn’t wait?” Taylor asked.

“Taylor, baby!” Michelle ran over and through her arms around him.

“Hi.” His eyes widened as he hugged her. “What are you doin’ ‘ere?”

“I know you said…well…I missed you and I couldn’t wait for you to get to New York to see you again. So, surprise!” She smiled.

“I’m afraid it won’t be much fun for ya, love.” He quickly made up and excuse as he went. “We’re goin’ to be real busy for a few weeks. ‘Ell, while we’re in Sheffield, I’ll be visitin’ family and the like, that I won’t ‘ave much time.”

“Family? I’d love to meet your family.” She sighed. “How about we catch dinner and you can tell me all about them?”

“I’m kinda busy.” He began to panic.

“Well, while you take care of business, I’ll just wait in our room with a little teddy on for you to finish.” She kissed him.

“Peter went ahead and got another key ‘rounded up.” Chris tossed him a key card for a room on the next floor.

“Thanks, mate.” Taylor handed it to Michelle. “Looks like we’re all set.” He smiled nervously.

“I’ll be waiting.” She gave him a final kiss and walked out.

Taylor sat on the bed and put his face in his hands.

“Bloody ‘ell. How do I get myself out of this one?”

Chapter – 9

Jayla grabbed her purse and Kenzie’s hand as she reached for the doorknob. She’d decided to go over and check on the house here in London while Taylor rehearsed.

“Mummy. Can we stop and watch daddy practice?” Kenzie looked up to her.

“We’ll see. We need to check on the grand mum’s ‘ouse first.”

“Otay.” She sighed as she followed Jayla down the hall.

Meanwhile, the guys stood on stage, tuned their guitars, and checked the sound for the concert that evening.

“Yo, Savage!” Eric, the drummer yelled.

“Yeah?”

“Phone call, mate.”

“Thanks.” He walked over and picked up his cell. Closing his eyes, he prayed it was someone he wouldn’t have to lie to. “Savage.”

“Taylor, it’s Joe.”

“What’s up?” He swallowed hard. He’d never considered what his father-in-law would do to him if he ever found out he’d cheated on Jayla.

“I’ve been tryin’ to reach Jayla this mornin’ and she’s not answerin’ ‘er cell. She there with you?”

“No. She was goin’ to take Kenzie over to the ‘ouse and check on things there. We’ll be leavin’ for Sheffield in the mornin’ so she wanted to get it done before the show.”

“Great. I’ll try there.” Joe sighed. “Break a leg, lad.”

“Thanks.” He hung up.

“I thought you weren’t headin’ out to Sheffield till the weekend?” Gary, the bassist, asked.

“I wasn’t. Jay and I changed our minds.

“Think maybe you ought to tell your litt’l personal groupie out there?” Gary pointed to Michelle sitting in the front row.

“Well bust my…”

“Language please!” Jayla walked up behind them with Kenzie.

“Aye!” He yelped.

“You alright, TK?” Jayla was concerned.

“Fine.” He swallowed. “Your dad was lookin’ for ya.”

“What did ‘e want?”

“He didn’t say. If you want, you should be able to ‘ear in the dressing room back there.”

“Do you mind?” She pointed to Kenzie. “She’s been dyin’ to get ‘ere just to watch you.”

“Pwease, daddy?” Kenzie pleaded with her big green eyes.

“Anythin’ for you, love.” She kissed her forehead. “C’mon!” He carried her out of stage, sitting her on the drum riser to watch.

Michelle watched Taylor walked back out on stage with the little blonde haired girl in his arms. If she didn’t know any better, she’d swear the little girl could pass for his daughter.

“Who’s the girl?” Michelle questioned Amy.

“Don’t know. One of the other’s daughters? One of the roadies kids?” Amy shrugged her shoulders.

“She’s adorable. Almost looks like she could pass for his daughter.” Michelle smiled. “Can you imagine what a child of Taylor’s would look like?”

“Damn, girl, slow down a bit before you scare the man off.”

“I know.” She glared at the stage. Is he wearin’ a ring?” Michelle squinted to see his left hand.

“He’s always had a few rings on, girl!” Amy rolled her eyes. “A lot of rock stars do it. Why, I have no idea.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Chapter – 10

After sound check, the band met in the hotel lounge for a few drinks.

“’Ere, mate, you need to loosin’ up.” Chris placed a few shots in front of Taylor.

“Thanks.” He quickly drank down the tequila. “Bloody ‘ell what am I goin’ to do?”

“Well, you need to make a decision, mate. The wife or the groupie. Then pray Jay never finds out.”

“Excuse me, chap.” A tall blonde man tapped Taylor on the shoulder. “You’re Taylor Savage, yeah?”
”That’s me. Do I know you?” Taylor tried to picture where he’d seen the man’s face before.

“Not really. I knew your mum.” He smiled.

The picture wall. Well, one of them at least. This man had been in a few pictures with his mum, Uncle Phil, and Steve.

“I’m Chris Clark. Your mum and my brother were pretty tight back in the day.”

“Ok, Uncle Phil’s talked about you now and then. ‘Ow are ya?” Taylor finally smiled as another beer was placed in front of him.

“Good. Your mum would be proud of your band.”

“That’s what dad tells me.”

Jayla walked into the lounge and looked around for Taylor. When she spotted him talking to Chris, her eyes immediately zeroed in on the shots he was downing like water.

“Hi, baby.” He wrapped his arm around her waist when she walked up.

She smelled the liquor on his breath and frowned.

“You remember our dads and Phil mentionin’ Chris Clark?” He pointed to him.

“Litt’l Jayla Elliott.” Chris smiled.

“It’s Jayla Savage now.” She smiled and extended her hand.

“And Joe didn’t kill ya?” Chris chuckled.

“Damn near it a time or two.” Taylor laughed as he remembered a few of his Uncle’s threats.

“Well, it was great seein’ you both again but, I ‘ave to run.” Chris smiled. “Good luck and take care.”

Jayla turned to Taylor after he walked away. “What are you doin’?” She pointed to the bar.

“It’s just a litt’l to unwind.” He sipped his beer.

“Yeah, need I remind you what you already went through as a teenager? And your family history?” The concern evident in her voice.

Michelle and Amy walked into the lounge and looked around. They hadn’t seen the guys since sound check and desperately wanted to meet up with them before the show.

“You see them?”

“Over by the bar.” Amy pointed.

“C’mon. We’ll save them from the fan that appears to not get the picture Taylor doesn’t want to talk. The frown on his face should have told her that.” Michelle shook her head.

“Baby, it’s just a few drinks.” His smile disappeared. “Where’s Kenzie?”

“Kippin’.” She crossed her arms. “I have to run back over to the ‘ouse. Dad wants a few of the photo albums from there. Somethin’ about a gift.”

“You’ll be back for the show, right?”

“Of course.” Her tone softened. “I’ll see you then.” She walked away.

Chapter – 11

Taylor slammed the last of his shots as a set of arms wrapped around his waist.

“Looks like I didn’t need to save you after all.” Michelle whispered in his ear.

“Guess not.” He turned to face her. “Did you birds ‘ave fun this afternoon?”
“Always.” Amy kissed Chris.

“Who was that little blonde girl you brought on stage?” Michelle questioned.

“Huh?”

“The little girl. You brought her out during soundcheck.”

What to do. It was hard for him to deny Kenzie was his. Not only because of the looks but, she was his baby girl. His life and love beyond Jayla. Jayla, Lord help him he’d gone beyond anything she could forgive.

“Taylor?” Michelle waited.

“She’s me daughter.” He answered honestly.

“Daughter?” She stepped back. “So I take it there is a wife or girlfriend somewhere?”

Damn, now he needed to think quickly. If she found out, she could ruin everything for him. If he lied, again, he still chanced it all.

“I’m separated.” He lied.

“Oh.” Michelle cuddled back up to him. “Well, we’ll just deal with her when if we have to.”

Jayla sat in the old house in London and listened to the line ring on the other end of the phone.

“’Ello?”

“Uncle Phil?”

“Aye, sweetie.” Phil kicked back in his recliner and relaxed.

“I need advise.”

“Sure thing, love. What’s on your mind?”

“TK and ‘is drinkin’.”

Phil closed his eyes and prayed for strength. Strength he hadn’t had to call on in years.

“Drinkin’ a lot on this tour, is ‘e?”

“Yeah. It’s not like ‘e acts like ‘e needs it but,. …well….’is history and all….”
”Whether it appears ‘e needs it or not, lass, isn’t the question.” He sighed. “The best are experts at hidin’ the fact they need it.”

“Was ‘is mum that way?”

“Oh yeah. You never could tell with Kenz.”

“What should I do?”

“Do the folks know?” Phil cringed at the thought.

“No! Dad would go ballistic and I’m afraid Uncle Sav would ‘ave a heart attack!”

“You’re probably right.” He sighed. “But they need to know, Jay. You’ll need all the ‘elp you can get.”

“You’re the expert when it comes to dealin’ with this.” She sniffed.

“And I’m glad you called. He’s lucky, Jay, that ‘e ‘as you. Just like ‘is mum was.”

“But ‘is mum didn’t make it, Phil.” She cried.

“No she didn’t.” His chest began to ache. “But, she was well in the end. And she was well because she ‘ad the inner strength along with the love and support of people who cared very deeply about ‘er.”

“I can’t loose ‘im like that. And Kenzie, I ‘ave to do whatever possible to protect ‘er from this.”

“He’s not violent is ‘e?”

“Never.”

“The alcohol takes over, love. Just be careful.”

“I will.” She paused. “And let me be the one to tell the others. Please?” She begged.

“My lips are sealed.” The old habit slipped back into place.

Chapter – 12

After the show that night, the band gathered in the lounge.

“Ready for bed?” Jayla rubbed her body against Taylor.

“Not quite, love.” He kissed her. “The guys and I want to discuss a few things before we ‘ead out for Sheffield.”

“Don’t be long then, alright?” She kissed his ear. “The nanny is keepin’ Kenzie t’night and I want to take full advantage of that.”

“Mmm. I’ll be up shortly.” He smacked her ass as she walked out.

A few minutes later, the guys were engrossed in some heavy drinking, when Amy and Michelle finally made it through the lounge to them.

“Hey.” Michelle slid her way onto Taylor’s lap.

“’Ello to you, too.” He kissed her neck as his hand groped at her breast.

“Do I need to take care of this little problem for you?” She asked as she grabbed the bulge in his jeans.

“Grr.” He growled and pushed his hips against her hand. “Lead the way.” He took her hand and followed her out of the lounge.

Three hours later, Jayla lay awake in bed alone. She wondered what was going on and what was keeping Taylor. Deciding she needed to find him, she dressed and walked down to the lounge.

“Jayla!” Chris nearly fell out of his seat when she walked up.

“Where’s TK?”

“Um…isn’t ‘e in the room?”

“If he was, I wouldn’t be down ‘ere lookin’ for ‘im.”

“I really don’t know where ‘e headed off to then.” Chris lied.

“Hey! Aren’t you that groupie that wouldn’t leave Taylor alone earlier?” Amy spoke up as she recognized Jayla.

“Groupie?” Jayla chuckled. “I’ve been called a lot of things, love, but a groupie’s never been one of them.”

“Well, Taylor referred to you as one.” She finished her beer and stood up. “And in the interest of my friend…” She looked Jayla straight in the eye. “His girlfriend..I suggest you run off and find another man!”

Chris closed his eyes as those words were uttered. There was no way to warn Taylor fast enough of the damage done.

“And your friend is who?” Jayla hissed.

“I said she was Taylor Savage’s girlfriend.” She rolled her eyes. “Her name is Michelle.”

“I see. ‘Ow long ‘ave she and Taylor been an item?”

“About a month now.”

“Well, let me introduce meself then….” Jayla held out her hand. “I’m Jayla Savage, Taylor’s wife for the last five years.”

“Honey, you’re already separated, and with Michelle in the picture, your divorce is most certain now. You need to accept that.” Amy patted her hand.

“You’re right on that divorce.” Jayla sneered. “I plan on callin’ my solicitor first thing in the mornin’ to ‘ave ‘im draw up the separation papers and follow up with the divorce.” She turned to Chris. “Where is ‘e?”

“Jay…”
”I’m serious as you’ll ever see me, Chris. Where is ‘e?”

“She’s stayin’ in room 352.”

Chapter – 13

Jayla furiously packed her and Kenzie’s things into their bags. As she did, she called the airlines and re-scheduled their flight for just a couple of hours from now. When she finished, she woke the nanny and had her get Kenzie ready while she went and dealt with Taylor.

Walking down the hallway, she took a deep breath as she reached the room. Knocking on the door, she waited for an answer.

“Yes?” Michelle answered the door wrapped in only a sheet.

“Who is it, love?” Taylor called from inside the room.

“It’s your estranged wife.” Jayla answered as she pushed past Michelle into the room.

All the blood drained from Taylor’s face as Jayla stopped at the foot of the bed. Suddenly sober and fearing the next few minutes of life.

“Baby…”

“Don’t baby, me!” Jayla angered.

“Who is this bitch, Taylor?” Michelle looked at him.

Taylor’s eyes never left Jayla’s. “Go ahead, tell ‘er TK.”

“Uh…she’s….”

Jayla sot out the opportunity and turned toward Michelle. “Jayla Savage, Taylor’s wife.”

“Soon to be ex.” Michelle huffed as she remembered what Taylor told her.

“True. I’m filing the papers first thing in the mornin’.”

“He’s already filed.” She crossed her arms.

“At least I’m not the only one you’ve been lyin’ to.” Jayla turned back to him.

“Jay..”

“Save it, TK.” She shook her head. “You made your bed, now lie in it.” Her eyes glanced down to the bed then back to him. After a moment, she turned and walked out the door.

Hours later, Jayla arrived in Sheffield at Joe’s parent’s house. She put Kenzie down in a room upstairs before returning to the kitchen where her grandmother had made tea.

“So, you gonna tell me why you showed up ‘ere early and without Taylor?” Cindy asked.

“Oh, grandma!” Jayla fell into her arms weeping. She hadn’t realized she’d kept herself so composed until now. Until she was in the comfort of family.

“What is it, lass?” Cindy kissed her cheek as Jayla held tightly to her.

“I caught TK with another woman.” She cried.

“Oh, sweetheart.” She rocked her back and forth, soothing her.

Taylor woke up in a haze as his eyes tried to focus on his surroundings. After Jayla’s confrontation, he’d had it out with Michelle ending with her leaving him as well. After that, he remembered hitting the bar and the mini bar. After that, everything was a blur. All he knew is that his wife and daughter were gone. He’d committed the ultimate betrayal.

Chapter – 14

Joe walked through the door to his parent’s house and looked around. How was he going to handle looking into his little girl’s face and see all the pain she was feeling in her eyes? How was he going to refrain from killing his best friend’s son, his son-in-law, for doing this to her? And how was he going to bare to listen as someone tried to explain to his precious grandbaby what had happened between her mummy and daddy?

“Joseph.” Cindy walked into the living room and hugged her son.

“Aye, mum.” He sighed.

“Natalie.” Cindy moved to hug her.

“Where’s Jay?” Nat questioned.

“Upstairs takin’ a shower.”

“Gwanpa!” Kenzie ran out and straight into Joe’s arms.

“Hi, baby girl.” Joe kissed her cheek. “What are you doin’?”
”Great grandmum was cookin’ me lunch.”

“Oh really?” He raised his eyebrows. “Let’s go see what you’re havin’.”

Nat walked upstairs and found Jayla on the phone in Joe’s old bedroom.

“I want them sent out to ‘im immediately. Yes. I’m in Sheffield now and should be back in Dublin by the end of the week. Thank you.” She hung up.

“Wanna talk?” Nat questioned.

“Oh, mum!” Jayla flung herself in Nat’s arms.

“Shh.” Nat soothed as her heart broke for her daughter.

Sav sat down at the table for dinner skimming the newspaper as he ate.

“I took a call from Joe today.” Paige spoke.

“Yeah?”
”Look at me, Rick.” She put her fork down. “It’s important.”

He looked up and saw that she was waiting for his full attention. “I’m listenin’.”

Paige took a deep breath. “He and Nat got a call from Cindy the night before. It seems that Jayla caught Taylor with another woman.”

“Caught ‘im?”

“Don’t act so naive.” Paige rolled her eyes.

Sav sat back in his chair and let the information sink in. His mind wondered back to the time he’d caught Kenzie in bed with Jason. All the feelings and emotions that ran through him at that point. His heart went out to Jayla. At the same time he tried to calm the anger he felt toward his son for jeopardizing his family.

“Seems I need to track down me son and ‘ave a litt’l talk with ‘im.” He got up from the table.

“Rick..” Paige jumped up and followed him.

“No offense, Paige, but I need to handle this.”

Chapter – 15

Sav used the keycard that Chris had given him to enter Taylor’s hotel room. As he walked through the door, he rolled his eyes at the mess that greeted him. Clothes and towels were thrown all over the floor and take out from the night before still sat on the table. As he entered the bedroom, he stopped cold in his tracks. The sight of the leggy blonde in bed next to his son was enough to raise his temper but the alcohol bottles and the powder laced mirror on the bedside table is what nearly stopped his heart.

“Love, you need to gather your shit and hit the road.” Sav shook the girl’s shoulder.

“Who the hell are you?” She frowned.

“None of your concern.” He hardened his tone. “Just get your shit and get out.” He threw her clothes at her.

The girl quickly dressed and exited the room while Sav tried to reel in his temper. After she left, he took in the surroundings of the hotel room before his eyes settled back on his son. His body shook with remembered fears. He’d been at this point once with his son and he thought they’d overcome it. Now, Taylor was dangerously close to what finally broke his mother.

Leaning very close to his son’s ear, his voice cold as ice, he whispered. “Time to come back from never never land, lad.”

Taylor didn’t budge.

“I will give you till the count of three to move your arse.” Sav spoke a little louder.

This time Taylor’s eyes fluttered open as he tried to focus on the ice blue eyes staring him down.

“Dad?” He groaned with a raspy voice.

“You’re runnin’ out of time.”

Taylor rubbed his eyes as he felt for his female companion from the night before. That was only last night, wasn’t it? He couldn’t honestly remember as the last few days had been a blur.

“I already asked the lass to leave.” Sav growled.

“Get out of me face.” He pushed past Sav and searched for another bottle.

“Don’t get an attitude with me, lad. I’m still your father.”

Taylor ignored his last comment. All he wanted right now was a damn bottle that had something left in it.

“I don’t know why you wasted your time in visitin’. Jay took Kenzie and headed on to Sheffield.” He threw another empty bottle and listened to it shatter against the wall.

“Can’t say as I blame ‘er.”

“What the fuckin’ ‘ell do you know?” Taylor raised his eyebrows.

“You’re not to old for me to knock that sass out of you!” Sav pointed his finger at him.

“Yeah well, do me the favor.” He smarted back.

Sav closed the distance between them in a heartbeat and grabbed Taylor by the back of the neck. From there, he drug him into the bathroom and shoved him into the shower, turning on a spray of ice cold water.

“Bloody ‘ell that’s freezin’!” Taylor yelped.

“Exactly! When you sober up a litt’l, we’re goin’ ‘ave a chat.” He continued to hold him there.

Chapter – 16

Jayla walked upstairs in her parent’s home to find Joe asleep on his bed and Kenzie sprawled across his chest. What an adorable sight. Her daughter was extremely precious to her and before all this, she thought she was to Taylor.

Sighing heavily, she turned and walked down to her old room. She and Taylor had always been together. First as friends, then teenager lovers, to husband and wife. She wasn’t sure what they were now. Where did they go from here and how did she handle his infidelity?

“Somethin’ you wanna talk about, love?” Joe stuck his head in her door.

“I’m not sure I can talk to you about it, daddy.” Her lower lip trembled.

“Sure you can.” He sat down beside her and wrapped her in his arms. “You’re my baby girl.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll always be ‘ere to listen.”

“I know. It’s just that I know you. I know that even though you haven’t said it, you’d love to find ‘im and kill ‘im for doin’ this to me.”

Joe sighed. “I would.”

“But tell me, would it make me or you really feel any better?” She looked into her father’s eyes. “I mean, ‘is mum was like a sister to you.”

“She was.” Joe thought of Kenz and couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face.

“Do you know where Uncle Sav went?” She completely changed the subject.

“If ‘e cares on continuin’ the Savage name, he better ‘ope ‘e went to find ‘is son.”

“Daddy!”

“Sorry.”

Sav listened to the shower continue to run as he dialed the phone. It was time to bring in re-enforcements.

“’Ello.”

“Pack your bags, mate, and catch the next flight to London.”

“What happened now?” Phil questioned.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t ‘ear that and I’ll assume you don’t know more than I do.” Sav growled and hung up.

“Shit!” Phil cringed as he hung up.

As Phil called to make his flight arrangements and packed his bags, his mind went over all the possibilities of what had gone wrong. What situation was he going to walk in on and how much trouble was he himself in now? Better yet, when was he going to learn?

Jayla paced her room as Joe patiently waited for her to talk.

“TK’s got a drinkin’ problem.” She finally blurted.

“You’re sure?” Joe’s temper began to rise.

“Yes. I’ve noticed it more and more lately.” She sighed. “Especially when we joined him on tour.”

“Why didn’t you come to us then?”

“Because I’m an adult. I needed to be able to ‘andle my marriage.”

“True. But, when it comes to things like this, love, you can’t always handle it on your own.”

“I talked to Phil about it..”

“Phil knows?” Joe raised his eyebrows.

Chapter – 17

Sav hung up the phone and furiously paced the room. He knew there was more to it when he’d talked to Phil and Joe had just confirmed it.

His body shook again as he thought of all his son was risking. Why? What had gone so wrong that Tyler thought he’d had to resort to this?

“I see you’re still ‘ere.” Taylor huffed as he walked out and grabbed his jeans.

“Drop the attitude, lad.”

“Go to ‘ell!” He zipped his jeans and noticed his dad had cleaned the room. “See you’re still good at coverin’ tracks.” Sarcasm laced his voice. “Guess she needed it more often than I thought.”

The sound of Sav’s hand making contact with Taylor’s face filled the room.

“I never want to ‘ear you disrespect your mum! Ever!” Sav’s voice roared.

Taylor held his stinging cheek as he glared at his father. “Oh yeah, that was Uncle Phil’s job.” He smarted again.

“I’m warnin’ you, lad!”

“Well, don’t go getting on me arse for the same things she was guilty of!”

“It’s because she was that I will not sit back and let you do this!”

“Oh, save it! I’ve ‘eard that song and dance already!” Taylor reached for a shirt and prepared to leave.

“I’m not above kickin’ your arse at the moment.” Sav grabbed his arm.

“I’ll not be man handled by you!” He tried to jerk away, unsuccessfully. “Let me go!”

“Phil’s on ‘is way.” Sav looked him square in the eye. “I will not let you throw away your family.” He took a deep breath. “And most of all, I will not let you do this to yourself.”

Phil arrived at the hotel and felt his heart begin to pound in his chest. No matter what he walked in on, he knew that Sav would jump him for an explanation and pry out of him what he knew. He didn’t want to break Jayla’s trust but he was plain and simply getting to old to cover anymore. The strain to conceal the lies was too much anymore. The strain on himself, the friendships, and the family ties. He thought it all had ended a long time ago.

Chapter – 18

Jayla stared out the window into the backyard and pondered what her next move should be. She didn’t know how to turn her back on Taylor. She’d never done it before so why would she do it now when he obviously needed her most?

“There’s mummy.” Nat walked in with Kenzie.

“Mummy!” She ran and jumped on Jayla’s lap. “I miss daddy.”

“I know you do, sweetie. So do I.”

“When can we go see ‘im?”

“Mummy’s goin’ to go visit daddy and when he gets better, you can come out too.”

“So, you’ve decided to go see him, huh?” Nat raised her eyebrows.

“I can’t walk out on ‘im now.” She rubbed her eyes. “I’ve been there for ‘im our whole lives.”

“You have.” She patted her leg. “Believe in what you feel, honey. Use that to help you through.”

Phil gazed into the cold blue stare of Sav’s eyes and swallowed hard.

“Philip.”

“Before you start on me…”

“I don’t bloody ‘ave time to start now.” Sav motioned him into the room.

“Oh great! Now I ‘ave both of you to clean up after me.” Taylor snipped from across the room.

Phil looked at Sav, his mouth gaping open.

“Sounds familiar?” Sav questioned.

“I don’t know if I can go through this again, mate.”

“I know but, we ‘ave to. He’s all I ‘ave left of ‘er.”

“You don’t look so good.” Phil took in the paleness of Sav’s face.

“The sooner I straighten ‘is arse out, the better I’ll be.”

Jayla sat down her bags and turned to hug her daughter.

“Bye, mummy.” Kenzie sniffed. “Tell daddy I wuv ‘im.”

“I will, baby.” She kissed her cheek before turning to Joe.

“You sure you don’t want me and your mum to go with you?”

“Not right now. I know ‘ow you’ll be.”

“Call anytime you need. And we’ll come out as soon as you’re ready for us.” Nat hugged her.

“Thanks.” She grabbed her bags.

“You tell your uncle Sav that he can call if ‘e needs to talk.” Joe pulled her in for a hug.

“I’ll tell ‘im.”

Chapter – 19

Taylor glared at his father and uncle. Why was he so angry to see them? Was it the shame and embarrassment of his failure that he’d turned into anger? Making them the target? If so, he wasn’t sure why. It was his fault that his wife had stormed out and promised divorce. His cheating and lying that landed him in this very spot. He couldn’t honestly think that she’d have forgiven him for that. Even after everything they’d been through together.

Not only that, he’d broken the promise of a lifetime. Both to Jayla, Kenzie, his father, and the rest of his ‘family’. He’d resorted to the very thing his mother had to release the pain. But, damnit, it was the only thing that eased the pain. He understood why his mother relied on it so much now.

“I asked you a question, lad.” Sav’s stern voice broke through.

“What?”

“You’re old enough for me to pop you in that smart mouth, ya know. And don’t think I won’t do it.”

“You think you ‘ave the balls, go ahead.” Taylor shot back.

Sav drew back his fist and was about to knock some sense into his son when Phil stopped him.

“Rick!” Phil grabbed his arm. “Bloody ‘ell, mate. This won’t ‘elp.”

“I’ve already tried everythin’ I know. It sure as ‘ell may make me feel better.”

“No, it won’t.” Phil sighed. “Go!” He pointed to the door after a minute. “Let me ‘ave a litt’l time with ‘im.”

“I’m not leavin’.”

“Just go! I don’t need you ‘ere anyway.” Taylor added.

Sav stared at his son only it wasn’t his voice he’d heard. Why did she still haunt him after all these years? Was it because Mackenzie had been the love of his life and their time together had been cut so short? Or was it because he should have been able to prevent what happened?

“Did you ‘ear me? I don’t need or want you ‘ere!” Taylor lashed out against his father again.

“Put a sock in it.” Phil snapped, gaining Taylor’s attention.

“Sod off!”

“Maybe you do need knocked down a few notches.” Phil got in his face. “And if what me and your dad can dish out isn’t enough for ya, I’m sure that Joe would love a shot at you right now.”

Taylor quickly bit his tongue. The thought of getting his ass kicked by any of them made him re-think his current actions. Especially Joe.

“Fine, I’ll go to my room for a bit.” Sav turned to Taylor. “I will be back.” He pointed his finger at him. “And you ‘ad better ‘ave remembered those manners I taught you by then.”

Chapter – 20

Sav wiped the sweat from his forehead as he reached down and cranked up the air in his room. Utter exhaustion seemed to hit him and he laid down, hoping but not believing, he could catch a little rest. For some reason, he just didn’t feel good since arriving at the hotel.

He reached over and lit a cigarette, taking a hit, before sputtering and coughing. The tightness that had been in his chest seemed to increase and his left arm began to ache. Standing up, he walked to his bag to retrieve some aspirin. Maybe that would help his headache and his arm.

He popped the aspirin and washed them down with water, walking back to the bed to rest.

Just feet from the bed, he clutched his chest as a vice - like grip overtook his chest. Groaning, he fell to his knees as another pain hit.

Jayla threw her bag down on the bed of her room and rubbed her face. Maybe a hot shower would loosen her tight muscles and revive her tired body just a bit. God knows she needed all the strength she could muster before having to face Taylor again.

As the hot water beat down across her skin, her mind drifted back to the day in this very hotel that she’d walked in on him and his ‘girlfriend’. The shock didn’t even register till she’d reached her grandmum’s. The only thought had been of her daughter and protecting her from everything to come.

“Why Taylor? What brought you back to this?” She cried out to no one.

Phil and Taylor glared at one another as Phil’s brain went over everything he’d tried to forget. All the conversations, emotions, and broken promises that Kenzie had ever had, caused, or made. After the round with Taylor as a teenager, they truly thought they were through with all this. That they’d somehow found a way to break away from everything that caused this problem. However, they hadn’t. They were here yet again. Same problem, same circumstances, same consequences. This had to end, and it had to end this time. For all of them.

Chapter – 21

“You realize that you brought all this on yourself, right?” Phil questioned.

“Blow me, Phil.”

“You know, I’m not above kickin’ your arse. I think I already made that point clear.” Phil’s temper started to take over.

“I heard ya.” Taylor crossed his arms. “Why don’t you do like my old man and leave me the ‘ell alone!”

“Ya know, I would but, I can’t. For more reasons than you’ll ever know.”

“Oh, that’s right, you were the one that wished he’d ended up with mum instead of me dad.” He laughed. “Guess I don’t need to be too worried seein’ as ‘ow you couldn’t even accomplish that!”

Phil had had enough. It was time this boy learned what he was heading for. He snatched an envelope out of his bag and threw it at Taylor.

“You think you’re so damn smart!” He yelled. “Well, look at those and tell me if you know so much.”

“What is this?” He held up the envelope.

“Just look at it!”

Taylor opened the envelope and pulled out the pictures. As he began to flip through, his hands began to shake and tears filled his eyes.

“What, no smart comeback?” Phil got in his face again.

“What? How?” Taylor choked.

“Those are the pictures taken of your mum the night she OD’d in New York. You’ve read ‘er diary, you know what she took that night.”

“You sick bastard…you took pictures?” Taylor jumped from his seat.

“No.” He shook his head. “Those are a favor I pulled. They came from the police file from that night.”

“That doesn’t even look like ‘er.”

“It was. What you see there, is the addict. The drug user and alcoholic. Not so pretty, huh?”

“I wouldn’t really know that now would I?” His sarcasm returned. “I was too litt’l to remember when she died.”

“True.” Phil turned to pace. “You’ve been lucky as ‘ell your whole life. You’ve never lost anyone so close to you.”

“Don’t see my wife and daughter ‘ere do ya?”

“And that was your doin’!” Phil angered. “Stop blamin’ everyone and everythin’ else, TK. Blame the habits you’ve decided to choose over them.”

“What choice did I ‘ave? She wasn’t ‘ere!” Taylor shot up.

“That gave you no right…besides, that’s not the kinda loss I’m referrin’ to.” Phil pushed him back in his chair. “I’m talkin’ about a permanent loss. One that can’t be mended or fixed. I’m talkin’ the breath takin’ pain of loosing a person you love. And there be nothin’ you can do about it. To not so much as ‘ave a simple conversation with them, or even a passing glimpse for the remainder of your time on this earth.” He took a deep breath. “It’s the anguish and uncertainty your dad went through after your mum died.”

Jayla heard the yelling and decided to see if Sav was in his room before walking in on Phil and Taylor. Besides, it sounded as though Taylor was getting an earful.

She knocked on the door and waited. She knocked again, still nothing. She listened carefully at a noise coming from the room. Afraid something may be wrong, she let herself in with the keycard she’d requested from the desk.

“Oh, God! Uncle Sav!” She ran over to where he laid on the floor. “Uncle Sav!” She looked him over. He wasn’t moving and he wasn’t answering her. She scrambled to the phone, which was off the hook giving her the noise that had made her open the door, and dialed for an ambulance.

“Is ‘e breathin’?”

“I don’t bloody know!” Jayla panicked and tried to listen. “It’s very light. I can hardly feel it and ‘is heart sounds funny!”

“Ok, we ‘ave an ambulance on the way. Stay with me.”

She waited for what seemed like forever for the medics to arrive. When they did, she stepped out of the way, her mind blocking out the noise and her surroundings. She did catch bits and pieces of what they were saying but most of it she didn’t understand. What she did catch scared her even more. Heart attack. She had to tell Taylor.

Chapter – 22

Jayla, Taylor, and Phil stood in the waiting room of the ER and waited on any news on Sav. It had been nearly an hour since they’d arrived and the doctor was due to talk to them any minute.

Taylor had been surprisingly quiet despite his mouth earlier.

“I’m goin’ to go find some coffee.” Phil stood and stretched his legs. “You want somethin’, Jay?”

“No thanks.”

Phil only looked at Taylor. When he shook his head, he walked off toward the vending area.

“I can’t believe you’re ‘ere.” Taylor looked at Jayla.

“That doesn’t mean everythin’ is alright.” She sighed. “There’s so much we ‘ave to get through before that happens.”

“I see…it’s all my fault, right?” He jumped up.

“TK, now is not the time.” She growled.

“Don’t turn into a litt’l bitch now!” He snarled back.

Phil stopped behind him, as did Joe and Nat in the doorway to the ER.

“That’s it!” Phil grabbed him by the collar, throwing away his coffee, as he escorted him out of the hospital. Joe followed right on his heals.

“Get the fuck off me!” Taylor yelled. “My dad’s in there!”

“Then act like it!” Phil pushed him against the side of the building. “I’ve listened to you and that mouth since I got ‘ere. You’ve been warned more than once and I’m over it!”

“You’re not me father!” Taylor shoved him back.

Phil’s temper peeked and he drew back and belted Taylor across the face with a nice right hook.

“You’re right, I’m not!”

“Phil….” Joe tried to intervene.

“Back off! He ‘as it comin’.”

“You’re the reason your dad is in there. Do you ‘ave any idea what all this ‘as put ‘im through over the years?”

“Whatever!” Taylor struggled to get away. Phil punched him again.

“He watched your mother struggle…and he waited helplessly as she slipped away! She was ‘is world. You and your mother meant everythin’ to ‘im. He lost ‘er and he’s nearly killed ‘imself with worry that the same wouldn’t happen to you!”

Taylor slumped to the ground and pushed back the tears. After a few quiet moments, his cracked voice filled the air.

“She left me, Uncle Phil.” He cried.

“Can you blame ‘er?”

“No.” He looked up at them.

“But it says a lot about my daughter that she’s in there now.” Joe finally added. Coming in blind to everything that had happened.

“It sure as ‘ell does.” Phil agreed. “You need to go in there and act like an adult. Take care of things with your dad and then worry about your marriage.”

“You won’t fix it overnight, Tay.” Joe ended.

“I guess not.” He stood.

As they were walking in, Joe grabbed his arm and pulled him close.

“I better never ‘ear you refer to my daughter in that manner again or I’ll re-arrange that pretty face of yours even more than Phil did.” He growled in his ear before releasing him.

Chapter – 23

Sav stood in an open field full of green grass, flowers, and a small stream running off to one side. He looked around, trying to get his bearings. The last thing he remembered was collapsing in his hotel room.

A figure standing on a small bridge that crossed the stream appeared. He couldn’t quite make it out so, he started toward it.

“How are ‘is vitals?” The doctor asked.

“Heart rate is 80, respirations 20.”

“Let me know any changes.” He scribbled in the chart and prepared to walk out and talk to the family.

As he closed in on the bridge, the figure became clearer. When he reached the foot of the bridge, he looked up into a pair of green eyes he’d longed to see for over twenty years.

“Kenzie.” He gasped.

“’Ello, Rick.” She smiled at him.

“Where are we?” He knew it couldn’t be real. Things like this didn’t happen. Not outside of dreams.

“Does it matter? We’re ‘ere together.” She stepped down toward him.

When she touched her hand to his chest, he closed his eyes.

The nurse looked up at the monitor as Sav’s heart rate inclined. She noted it in the chart and took a quick visual assessment before turning to inform the doctor.

“Breathe, Rick. It’s ok.” Kenzie whispered in his ear.

“I’ve missed you so much, love.” He finally wrapped his arms around her.

“I’ve missed you, too. Watching you every day with Taylor…I know it’s been ‘ard.”

“It ‘as. I wish he could ‘ave known you like I did.”

“He will.” She silenced him with a kiss.

The doctor walked into the waiting room and approached the group.

“Dr.?” Taylor jumped up from his seat.

“You’re family?” The doctor looked at him.

“Taylor Savage.” He extended his hand.

“You’re father is stable for the moment.” He sighed. “We’ve noticed a few fluctuations in his vitals.”

“Ok.” Taylor listened intently.

“As you are probably already aware, your father ‘as suffered a heart attack. As for the extent of damage, we’re waiting on test results and should be able to tell you more after we get those.”

“You said he’s stable. Is that good or bad at this point?” Joe spoke up.

“Considerin’ the condition ‘e was in when ‘e got ‘ere, it’s good. We’ll keep a close eye on ‘im to see ‘ow ‘e improves.”

“Can we see ‘im?” Jayla asked.

“Only a few of you. I don’ t want to over stimulate ‘im at this point.”

“Thanks.” Taylor shook his hand again.

Chapter – 24

Taylor and Jayla walked through the door into Sav’s room. Immediately, Jayla felt Taylor’s grip tighten on her hand.

“Look at ‘im, Jay.” Taylor approached the bed. “I’ve never seen ‘im like this.”

“Your dad’s a strong man, TK. He’ll pull through.” She tried to re-assure him.

“How much time do we ‘ave?” Sav asked as he and Kenzie cuddled under a tree.

“We ‘ave as long as you want. It’s all up to you, Rick.” She kissed his neck.

“Mmm.” He closed his eyes, relishing the fire that flared to life with her touch. That incredible fire he hadn’t felt since her.

How long would he stay? Here there were no worries, no demands, and no pain. All he felt was a sense of peace. Of course, the real clincher, was Kenzie. His beautiful, spontaneous, heart-stopping wife.

Taylor looked over his dad before taking his hand. “Dad, it’s me, Tay.” He hesitated.

“Go ahead.” Jayla encouraged him. “They say it ‘elps.”

“Jay and I are ‘ere.”

Back in the waiting area, Joe cornered Phil.

“So, want to share the latest of your secrets?” Joe asked him.

“Now’s not the time, Joe.”

“Not like we can do much else but wait.” He rubbed his eyes. “I want to know why my daughter came to you to talk about Taylor and not me or Nat.”

“I don’t know that answer. You’d ‘ave to ask ‘er.” Phil raised his eyebrows.

“But you’re the one that didn’t tell anyone.”

“I don’t ‘ave to tell everythin’ I know. She came to me in confidence. Said she wanted to be the one to tell all of you. I respected that.”

“You know, we could be like this forever.” Kenzie laid her head against Sav’s chest.

“I’d love nothin’ more.”

“I’m sorry for everythin’ I put you through when I was alive. I just didn’t know ‘ow to deal with the pain.”

The mere mention of her old habits allowed Sav to think of his son. The problems he’d faced with him and the ones he was dealing with when all this happened. Did he want to return to the struggle or stay? Could he do that, even for Kenzie?

“Dad, I know you ‘ear me.” Sav heard Taylor’s voice ring through.

“Kenzie…” Sav muttered unconsciously.

“Huh?” Jayla and Taylor looked to each other, confused.

“I think he’s referrin’ to mum.” Taylor whispered. “You know, he’s been with Paige for what…ten years? But I know she still doesn’t ‘old a candle to what he felt for mum.”

“I kinda picked up on that to. You think he’s dreamin’ about ‘er or somethin’?”

“I don’ t know.”

Chapter – 25

The next morning, Taylor walked into the hospital in the same clothes he’d had on the previous day. His eyes were bloodshot with dark circles, and his pace was a little less than steady. Phil noticed it first. He couldn’t believe he’d come to the hospital like that.

“What in the bloody ‘ell is goin’ through your mind, lad?” Phil grabbed his collar.

“Leave me alone.” He snapped.

Phil’s stomach turned at the smell of alcohol on his breath. He tried to keep his temper in check but it was difficult. Sav was lying in a room down the hall, no one sure if he’d pull through or not, and his son was out divulging in drugs and alcohol.

“Do you ‘ave no respect for anythin’ anymore?” Phil scolded him.

“I don’t know ‘ow to deal with it. Quite frankly, I don’t want to.” Taylor turned and headed for his father’s room.

“She’s so much like you, love. And she knows it.” Sav chuckled as they talked about their granddaughter.

“She’s got you wrapped around ‘er litt’l finger, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah. From the moment I saw ‘er, she did.” He suddenly got an un-easy feeling.

Taylor sat down in the chair next to his father. Why was everyone so damn uptight? Why did they all have to be concerned with what he was doing? Sure, he divulged in the same habits that his mother had. Sure, in the end, it had taken her from them. But, he didn’t remember that. He only remembered her rocking him in a chair and her bouncy golden hair.

His habits wouldn’t hurt him like they did her. He wouldn’t hurt everyone the way she had.

Kenzie felt the unease in Sav. She knew the cause was their son. Maybe it was time to make him see the light. Make him understand what he’s putting everyone through. Who else knew better to show him than her?

“You relax, I ‘ave somethin’ to take care of but I’ll be back.” She assured Sav as she stood.

“Where are you goin’?”

“To take care of somethin’. Don’t worry, I won’t leave you waitin’ long.” She kissed him.

Taylor’s eyes grew heavy as he watched the machines his father was hooked to. He hadn’t really slept last night so a small kip sounded nice. And he was at the hospital in case anything changed.

Gradually, his eyelids fluttered shut, his breathing evened out, and sleep overtook him.

Chapter – 26

Taylor felt himself stir from a drug and alcohol haze. Before him stood a beautiful blonde, older, but nonetheless, beautiful.

“Do I know you?” He asked.

“You should. Who do I look like, Taylor?”

He tried to focus on her. He noticed the British accent but it was the hair and intense green eyes that told him who she was. “It’s impossible.”

“Obviously not.” She smirked. “We need to ‘ave a chat, son.”

“Is it really you, mum?”

“Yeah, it’s me. We need to talk about your life.”

“You of all people should understand.” He sighed.

“I do. But, I’m ‘ere to make you understand ‘ow everyone else feels.”

Taylor tried desperately to push down the anger that was rising within him. This was a weird experience within it’s self, the last thing he wanted to do was waste the opportunity talking about what everyone else wanted him to do.

“You better not even think of loosin’ that temper with me. Where do you think you got it from?” She raised her eyebrows.

“I don’t want to talk about them though.”

“Oh, there won’t be much talkin’. Let me just give you a small glimpse of what you don’t seem to grasp.” She touched her hand to his shoulder and closed her eyes.

Taylor watched her and waited. Just as he thought nothing was going to happen, he felt the intense emotions overtake him. Images flashed through his mind as they did. The first a happy feeling. An intense love that reminded him of what he’d shared with Jayla. What his parents had shared with each other. Then, anger and worry. It all felt overwhelming. And with each second that passed, he knew, from Phil, to Nat, Joe to his father, he knew the emotions and struggles she had put them through.

Before revealing too much, Kenzie broke the connection and looked her son in the eye.

“That’s only part of it.”

“’Ow?” He choked over the lump in his throat.

“You’re even more stubborn than I was. It was the only way you obviously were goin’ to understand.”

“I can still feel it. Make it stop.” He pleaded.

Kenzie saw the turmoil in his eyes. Saw the struggle to deal with the emotions.

“You haven’t seen it all. You will though.”

“Why?”

“Because. You ‘ave to stop this, Taylor. You ‘ave to realize that your family loves you. You ‘ave to understand what it is you put them through when you do this.”

“I don’t know ‘ow to deal with it. I’m dealin’ with it the same way you did.”

“Then I’ll let you feel my guilt.” She again touched his shoulder.

Taylor again experienced the guilt she felt. The guilt she felt at letting down her father, Sav, and her friends. He felt the guilt she’d carried over putting Phil through keeping her secrets, and the guilt she felt over loosing Steve.

This time, the tears poured down his cheeks. “Oh, God.” He fell to his knees.

Deciding she was getting through to him, she went ahead and let him feel the pain and sorrow. The pain everyone had felt in loosing Steve, her OD in New York, the anger that Sav had felt when she’d cheated on him with Jason, the pain she’d felt when she thought she’d let her son down, and finally, after everything they’d been through, all the emotions the group felt when she’d died.

“Life isn’t easy, Taylor. Just remember that the bonds you ‘ave with family and friends are stronger and last not the bonds with drugs and alcohol.” She whispered in his ear.

Taylor shot up out of the chair and found himself in Sav’s hospital room. What the bloody hell had happened? His mum. He’d actually had a conversation with his mother. How was that possible? But, it had happened. The emotions and visions of past events he couldn’t have possible known about first hand were fresh in his mind. The one sticking out the most, at the moment, was the anger and hurt his father had felt when his mother had cheated on him. For the love of…is that how he’d made Jayla feel? If so, how could he ever forgive himself let alone expect her to forgive him?

Chapter – 27

Joe and Nat walked into Sav’s room to find it empty. They looked at each other, confused. The last they’d seen Taylor, he’d been sitting in here. Where had he gone?

“I just don’t understand the lad anymore.” Joe sighed.

“He reminds me a lot of Kenzie at this age.” Nat thought back to her teenage years.

“I just don’t know ‘ow much more Sav can take.”

Sav looked up as Kenzie sat down beside him.

“What did you do?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Just gave our son a litt’l insight.” She snuggled into his arms.

“Did it work?”

“I think it may ‘ave.” She ran her hands across his chest.

“So nothin’ is stoppin’ me from stayin’ now?”

“Nothin’.”

Taylor took a deep breath before opening the door and walking in. He had to do this. If not for himself, for his wife, daughter, and father.

“Mr. Walker, please.”

“May I tell him who you are?”

“Taylor Savage. He’s expectin’ me.” Taylor sighed.

“Have a seat. I’ll let him know you’re here.”

Jayla sat across from Phil with her hands clasped in her lap.

“You want to talk about it?” Phil asked her.

“Will he change?” She looked up with painful eyes. “Is it possible to save ‘im from the same fate ‘is mum ‘ad?”

“Oh, Jay.” He pulled her into his arms. “You love ‘im so much. That’s what he needs to know and understand right now. That you’ll love ‘im through anythin’.”

“I do, Phil. He’s my whole life and it scares me to death that he’s doin’ this. What might happen if he continues.”

“I know.” He stroked her hair. “Let’s get through Sav getting better and we’ll push ‘im towards getting better.”

“Can it wait?”

“We’ll just ‘ave to keep an eye out and see.”

Taylor walked into the office and sat down in front of the desk.

“I’m glad you decided to come in, Taylor.”

“I realized it was the right thing. I just want to wait until for news on my dad before I admit myself fulltime.”

“I understand. We can start out with daily sessions until then.”

“I think I can handle that.” Taylor sighed.

Chapter – 28

Jayla stepped outside the hospital and ran into Taylor. They both didn’t speak right away, just stared at one another.

“I love you so much, Jay. I really do.”

“I know. I love you too.” She let him pull her into his arms. “Let’s take a walk.”

They walked hand in hand down the street. Jayla’s mind played over what she wanted to say, what she wanted to make clear.

“I ‘ave to do what’s best for our daughter.” She stated firmly. “So, if you want to keep your family, you’re goin’ to ‘ave to get ‘elp.”

“I already ‘ave.” He sighed, looking out across the street. “I’ve just come from my therapist’s office. I want to get better.”

“Then you’ve taken the first step.”

“Can we sit?” He pointed to a bench just ahead of him.

She didn’t say anything just sat as they reached the bench. Taylor struggled with the words he wanted to say. The thoughts that had been going through his mind. He didn’t understand how he was going to handle what he’d put her through by cheating.

“What is it?”

“I know it doesn’t fix it, that it doesn’t even come close but, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what was going through my head when I cheated on you.”

Jayla pushed back the tears that threatened to fall; she didn’t want to let him see how bad that had hurt.

“I can’t explain to you what ‘as made me realize but, I’m certain I know ‘ow you feel.”

“How could you know?” She snapped.

“Let’s just say I’ve gotten a lot of insight lately. I’ll understand that you can’t forgive me, really I will.”

“Forgive you?” She looked away. “Forgivin’ you is the easiest part, TK. Forgettin’ is a whole ‘nother matter.”

Taylor took a deep breath and grabbed her hands. “You know, I’ve loved you since before I really even knew what love was. You ‘ave been the one person to stand by me even with all the ‘ell I’ve put you through.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I want you to know, I’ll give you whatever you want. I won’t fight anythin’ you ask for just….just don’t take my baby away from me entirely.”

“Taylor, I love you, I always ‘ave and I always will. I’ll be ‘ere for you but I’m not sure that I can do it as your wife anymore. You ‘urt me. Really ‘urt me.”

Taylor choked back tears as he squeezed her hands. What had he done? How had he let his best intentions turn them down this road? A road that was leading his wife away from him.

Unable to say anything else at the moment, he stood and quietly walked into the hospital.

Sav stood at the edge of the bridge he’d seen when he’d first arrived here. They were down to the wire and it was time for him to decide. Was he staying or was he going back to his life.

“Rick?” Kenzie reached her hand out to him.

Sav looked up at her and felt torn. He didn’t want to leave, not when he had everything his heart had craved the last twenty years. But, could he cross that bridge and leave their son alone?

He stood and stared into those fiery green eyes, trying to make up his mind.

Chapter – 29

Taylor politely asked everyone to leave Sav’s room and then sat down beside the bed. He grabbed Sav’s hand and squeezed.

“Dad, please. I need you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. But like I told you so many years ago, I want you to be ‘appy.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t want to loose you but….I know….I know you’re with mum right now. That’s where your heart ‘as always been so…if you want….if that’s…do it for yourself this time.” He cried.

Sav still stood on the edge of the bridge as Taylor’s words filtered through to him. He heard an anguish that was all too familiar to him. A hurt and fear that had coursed through himself at different times in his life with Kenzie.

Again, he looked up to the love of his life and she smiled. It was his choice. What would it be?

Nat sat down on the bench beside her daughter. When she noticed the tears falling down her cheeks, she pulled her into her arms.

“Everythin’ will be alright.” Nat soothed.

“It ‘urts so much, mum.” She cried.

“I know.”

“I don’t know what to do!”

“You have to start with taking care of yourself and your daughter. The two of you have to come first.”

“I know.” She sniffed. “But Uncle Sav never abandoned Aunt Kenzie. I just don’t see ‘ow he got through it all.”

“Because he didn’t do it all himself.” She brushed Jayla’s hair out of her face. “And neither do you.”

Sav felt a weight lift from him and reached for Kenzie’s hand. Her smile spread across her face as he walked up on the bridge with her. He could feel all the love they’d ever shared and the feeling slowly consumed him. Within moments, that’s all he felt and everything else seemed to be forgotten.

Chapter – 30

Taylor laid his head down and cried, still holding Sav’s hand. He felt his father slipping away from him, just as his wife was. The reason,…him. His actions, his problem, had pushed them all away. When was he going to learn to be strong on his own? When was he going to learn that his actions had consequences? Not only on himself but on others?

As he sat there, the beating of machines turned into a constant, long beep. Taylor’s head jerked up, the line of the machine stretched flat across the screen. He slammed his hand down on the call button as a group of staff came rushing into the room, pushing him out of the way.

He stood, numbly, watching them for a few seconds before taking off out of the room. When he reached the waiting room, everyone’s eyes flew up to his.

“Tay?” Jayla jumped up.

“He’s…he’s…” He swallowed tears. “He’s…”

“He’s what?” Joe barked.

“Gone.” Taylor’s body trembled with emotion.

“No!” Joe gasped as Nat clung to his side.

Phil stood motionless, letting it sink in. He’d wondered all this time…wondered if once he’d seen her, if he’d be able to leave Kenzie again.

Unable to take the news or company of anyone else right now, Taylor took off out of the hospital at a run.

“Tay!” Jayla started out after him.

“No, sweetheart.” Joe stopped her. “Let ‘im go. He needs time to let it sink in.”

Taylor ran all the way back to the hotel and to his father’s room. There, he collapsed onto the floor and sobbed. His father was gone. The pain that seemed to swell inside him was unbelievable. How was he going to get through this? He’d never realized how much he’d relied on his father until now. Until he no longer had him.

The others stared at one another in the waiting room. Sav was gone. Really gone.

“What do we do now?” Jayla turned to her parents.

“We go on.” Joe choked.

“Come here, baby.” Nat pulled her daughter into her arms. “Regardless of what’s happened, Taylor’s gonna need us all now more than ever.”

“He’s not alone, ya know.” Joe put his arm around Phil’s shoulders.

“No.” Phil shook his head, tears flying off his cheeks as he did. “I’m sure they were both waitin’ with open arms.”

“Would you expect Steve and Kenz to greet ‘im any other way?”

“No.”

Kenzie’s eyes sparkled as she turned to walk over the bridge, her hand clutching Sav’s. She waited for the day he’d join her and now he had. Never would they be apart again.

Chapter – 31

Taylor held his daughter in his arms, cradling her close to his chest. How in the world could he have done this to her? First, he’d taken her father away from her by using the alcohol and drugs. When he was on them, he wasn’t the man she knew as “daddy”. Next, he’d cheated on her mum. An act unforgivable by all means and in the process was driving her parents apart. The safe, secure, loving home his daughter had known had been torn apart by him. Moreover, he’d killed her grandpa. The man that she loved dearly.

He’d realized his actions had not only hurt himself, if anything, he’d hurt the least and deserved it all. But, he’d hurt others. The people he loved and that loved him.

A need rose inside him to protect his precious daughter at whatever the cost. To ensure that she felt no more pain by his actions. A need that also wouldn’t allow her to grow up and struggle as he and his own mum had. It was time for the cycle to end. And he’d made up his mind it would end with him.

“I love you, baby. More than life.” He kissed her forehead before lying her down in bed.

Joe made his way to the nurse’s station to make a request. They wanted and needed to say goodbye to a dear friend. The kind looking nurse behind the desk looked up to him and gave him a weak smile.

“Can I ‘elp you?”

“I hope so.” Joe sighed.

Kenzie stopped abruptly on the edge of the bridge. The figure standing in front of her slowly becoming clearer. At the same time, she felt a tug on her hand.

“Kenzie…” Sav and Steve spoke at the same time.

She looked between the two

“You know it ‘ad to be ‘is decision.” Steve whispered to her. “It wasn’t ‘is time.”

“I can’t, Steamin’. I can’t leave ‘im again.”

“Love, you’ve never left ‘im. You’ve always been in ‘is heart. And you’re forever a part of your son.”

“Kenzie…” Sav broke in.

She turned to look at him. “Just one more step, Rick.”

“I can’t.” He sighed.

“Yes you can. Just take one more step.” She pleaded.

“I’d love more than anythin’ to stay with you. It’s what I’ve wanted since the day you’d gone but…” He looked down and then back up into her green eyes. Green eyes that matched a set that needed him now. “I can’t leave ‘im. Not yet.”

“Rick…”

“Kenz, it’s where he’s suppose to be.” Steve cut in. “Let ‘im go.’’

“I can’t.”

“You’ve waited this long, ‘is time will be sooner than you think.”

Sav pulled her close to him and kissed her with all the love he felt.

“I love you with all my heart just as I do ‘im. You’re at peace now but he’s not. He needs me, and I can’t turn my back on ‘im.”

“I love you.” Kenzie sniffed.

“I know you do. Our love ‘as crossed time and space, beyond life itself. It’s what ‘as kept me goin’ all these years without you.” He kissed her again. “We’ll be together again, just not today.” He turned and crossed back over the bridge.

The crew gathered around Sav, which had been administering CPR, looked somber as they pulled there gloves and gowns off.

“Call the time of death at….” He looked up at the clock.

“Doctor!” One of the nurses gasped.

The doctor looked down and saw Sav gasping for air before his breath settled into an even rhythm. The monitor beside him began beating in time with his heart as the doctor began another evaluation of him.

Twenty minutes later, the doctor walked out to talk to those waiting in the waiting room.

“Doctor.” Joe stood up.

“Is Mr. Savage, ‘ere?”

“I’m afraid my husband left when…when….” Jayla interjected.

“We’d just like a few minutes to say goodbye to our mate.” Phil added.

“I’d love to give you that.” The doctor sighed. “But ‘ow about you just go in and welcome ‘im back?” He smiled.

“Back?”

“Most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen. Just as we were about to call ‘im, he came back.” He shook his head. “He’s a little groggy but awake. You can go in and see ‘im.”

“Thank you, doctor. Thank you!” Joe shook his hand before ushering them all into the room.

“I’ll go find Tay.” Phil stopped. “He doesn’t know.”

Chapter – 32

Phil searched the hotel without finding Taylor. Once he’d checked all the rooms, he returned to talk to the nanny.

“How’s Mr. Savage?” Anna asked.

“Better. He’s awake now. ‘Ave you seen Taylor?”

“Not for a bit. He was ‘ere with Kenzie for a bit then left. He left Mrs. Savage a letter.” She handed the sealed envelope to him.

“He didn’t say where ‘e was goin’?” Phil raised his eyebrows.

“No. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry, love. Thanks.” He turned and headed back to the hospital.

The group smiled and chatted quietly with Sav, amazed at the turn of events. Finally, after a few minutes, Sav looked at them all before settling his eyes on Joe.

“Can I ‘ave a moment alone with Joe?”

“Sure.” Nat quickly agreed and led the others out.

“We’ll be right outside, Uncle Sav.” Jayla kissed his cheek.

“Thanks, love.”

After everyone cleared the room, Joe turned and grabbed the chair next to the bed.

“What’s on your mind, mate?” Joe waited.

“Promise you won’t think I’ve gone bonkers?”

“Of course.”

“She was there. I was with ‘er the whole time.”

“We all figured you were.” Joe smiled. “Kept mutterin’ ‘er name and all.”

“Did Paige ‘ear?” He closed his eyes.

“She’s been in fits tryin’ to get ‘ere.” Joe patted his arm. “She’s even offered to pay triple the ticket price to get a flight. Keeps runnin’ into delays.”

“But you guys….”

“We came from Sheffield. We were at me mum and dad’s.”

“Oh.”

Joe waited as silence filled the room again. When they’d both been quiet for a while, he finally decided to ask.

“We lost ya, ya know.” He choked back tears. “And quite frankly, I’m surprised you came back.”

“You make it sound like I was on holiday or somethin’.”

“No, you were with Kenz.”

“She didn’t want me to go. ‘Ell, I didn’t want to go. Part of me wanted to just stay with ‘er.”

“I understand.”

“But my son needs me, Joe. We ‘ave to ‘elp ‘im get better.”

“We will.” He sighed. “Phil went to find ‘im. Took off out of ‘ere when ‘e thought you were….that you ‘ad….”

“I think it’ll happen this time, Joe. She did somethin’. Told me she’d given ‘im a litt’l insight.”

“Insight? Our Kenzie gave insight?” He chuckled.

“She was so beautiful, Joe. Looked as gorgeous and healthy as she did at nineteen.”

“It feels like you’ve lost ‘er all over again, doesn’t it?”

Sav turned his head as he tried to hold back the tears. He shook his head as he closed his eyes and pictured her standing in the field.

“I’ll send Tay in when ‘e gets ‘ere.” Joe stood and walked out of the room.

Joe joined the others in the waiting room to find Phil handing an envelope to Jayla.

“Where’s ‘e at?” Joe asked.

“Can’t find ‘im. But, ‘e left that with Anna.” He pointed to the envelope.

Jayla sat down and opened the envelope. As she unfolded the letter, Taylor’s words jumped out at her.

My dearest Jayla,

Normally in a time like this I would turn to you for strength and know that regardless of what I’ve put you through, you’d be there. It’s what I’ve loved about you most. But, because of what I’ve done, I don’t deserve to turn to you. I need to find the strength within myself.

When I left the hospital, I just went and held Kenzie. She’s the most precious thing I’ve ever had and I’m disgusted with myself at how I’ve changed her life. Mum and Dad fought to ensure that I didn’t face this problem, yet I have. I think a lot of that still stems from the fact that Mum wasn’t here. I don’t want our daughter to grow up wondering what her father was like. I want her to know because I’m there.

I’d told you that I’d already spoken with my therapist regarding my problem. I’ve now gone and admitted myself with the agreement I’ll be able to attend dad’s funeral but that will be the only allowance. Please tell Uncle Joe and Uncle Phil that I’m sure they’ll do a wonderful job with the service. Dad pretty much had it all worked out. Just check with his solicitor.

Last, I can’t tell you how sorry I am and how much I love you, baby. I don’t deserve you. Please know that I’m doing this for our daughter though. This cycle has to end and it will end with me, whatever the cost.

Taylor

Tears flowed down Jayla’s cheeks as she looked up to her parents and Phil.

“What is it, baby?” Joe knelt in front of her. She handed him the letter and he quickly read as she covered her face and cried.

Chapter – 33

Taylor sat in his room and stared out the window.  Is this what his mother had felt like when she was here?  Especially the last time when she’d checked herself in?  He knew this is what he needed.  However, his greatest fear was, it wouldn’t work.  It wouldn’t save him and his own daughter would grow up without him.  He knew what it was like to grow up without a parent and he didn’t want to put her through that.  He didn’t want to put Jayla through it.

 “Mr. Savage?”  A gray haired man knocked on the door.

“Yes?”  Taylor looked up.

“May I come in?”

“Sure.”  He sighed and turned to face the room.  He hadn’t been expecting any visitors for a while.  Not till his therapy session this afternoon.

“I’m Edward Jacobs.”  He extended his hand.  “I was your mother’s therapist.” 

Taylor gaped at the man who’d sat down across from him.  His mother’s therapist?  But, how had he known?  How had he known that his mother had been in here or that she was even his mother?

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

“Like I said, I was your mother’s therapist when she went through rehab.  I received a call from Mr. Elliott this morning to let me know that you’d checked yourself in somewhere.  He asked for me to talk with you.”

“Uncle Joe called you?” His eyes nearly popped out.

“He can be a very adamant man when he wants.”  Edward chuckled.  “Mackenzie didn’t grasp how much they all cared either.”

Joe, Nat, and Phil sat in Sav’s hotel living room with him after finishing lunch.

“He went all the way to LA?” Sav looked horrified.

“Yep.  Edward said he found him a few hours ago.  Checked himself into the same clinic Kenzie had.”  Joe nodded his head.

“I hated that place.  I hate what they did to ‘er!”

“She knew the consequences of ‘er actions.”  Phil stated.  “We all did.”

“The last time saved ‘er, mate.”  Joe followed.

“If it saved ‘er, why hasn’t she been ‘ere?”  His face reddened with anger.

“You need to calm down.”  Nat spoke gently.

“She’s right.”  Joe nodded.

“I’ve been given permission to share your mother’s sessions with you.  They think it may help you.”

“Share them?”

“Share some of the things Mackenzie was feeling.  Some of the things that drove her to the problems she had.  But first…” He stood.  “You have a guest.”

“I don’t want any.”

“This is necessary.”  He stepped out as Jayla walked through the door.

Taylor’s eyes locked with his wife’s and tears instantly filled his eyes.  Oh, how he missed her.  How she reminded him of why he was in here.

“I suppose you’re ‘ere to tell me about dad’s funeral?”  He choked.

“No.”  She spoke simply and sat down in front of him.  Grabbing his hands in hers, she looked straight into your eyes.  “Your father pulled through, TK.  They released him yesterday.”

“He’s….dad’s…..I….”

“Shh…” She folded her arms around him as he cried.

Despite everything that had happened between them, she’d never be able to abandon him.  She just couldn’t.  She’d witnessed his pain first hand all their lives and she’d seen the effort he’d made to get through it.  He’d been weak, hurting her deeply in the process, but she saw his greatest strength coming through.

“Does ‘e know?” Taylor wiped his eyes as he sat up.

“He does.”  She nodded her head.  “He loves you, TK and he’ll stand by and fight for you just like ‘e did your mum.”

“Jay….” He took a deep breath.  “I need to tell you somethin’.”

“Whatever else happened isn’t important.” She sighed.  “I’ll stand by you till the end of time, TK.  I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.”  He kissed her.  When he pulled back, he looked her straight in the eye.  He had to tell her.  “I ‘ave to tell you somethin’ about mum.”

Jayla was completely baffled but gave him her full attention.

“The day I came to the hospital….the day I was…”

“Drunk?”

“Yeah.  When I went into dad’s room, I fell asleep.  I dreamt about mum except it was so real.”  He continued to tell her about his dream.  “It was the weirdest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

“It’s not crazy.”  She smiled.  “Your dad ‘as been talkin’ about ‘er non stop.  I really think ‘e was with ‘er.”

“So do I.”

Sav stood up and raked his hands over his face.

“Where are you goin’?”  Joe asked.

“To make flight arrangements to LA and then spend some time with my grandbaby.”  He nodded and walked into the bedroom area of his suite.

“Bloody ‘ell.”  Joe ran a hand through his hair.

“He’s lost ‘er all over again.”  Tears pooled in Nat’s eyes.

“She’s a tough lady to let go of.”  Phil turned to stare out the window.

Chapter – 34

Sav sat in a chair and watched as Mackenzie slept in her bed.  His precious little grandbaby was so innocent yet he knew if they didn’t save Taylor, they couldn’t save her from the pain that had filtered down through two generations so far.

“Rick?”  Paige stuck her head in the door.

“Paige?”  His head snapped up.  She’d finally made it.

“I’m sorry.  I tried to get ‘ere.”  She flung herself into his arms.

“I know, love.  Joe explained it to me.”

“You’re alright?”  Tears flooded her eyes.

“Fine.”  He kissed her.

Taylor stared at the phone as his hands shook in his lap.  His father was alive.  Alive. 

He picked up the receiver and dialed.

“’Ello?”  Sav flipped open his cell phone.

“Dad?”  Taylor choked.

“Tay?”

“Yeah.”  He let out a deep breath. “Oh, God, dad.  I can’t tell you what it’s like to ‘ear your voice.”

“Calm down, son.”

“I thought…I thou….I saw the line…..I knew you were with mum…” He sniffed.  “Dad, I love you.”  He cried.

“I love you, too, Taylor.”  Sav closed his eyes.  This was his son talking.  The young lad that had grown into a decent man.  “Just a sec.” He looked up at Paige.  “I’m goin’ out ‘ere to talk to ‘im.”  He pointed to the balcony as he walked toward the door.

Once he’d closed the door behind him, he returned to the conversation with Taylor.

“Tay…..”

“No, dad.  I was a bastard.  Look what I’ve done.”

“You haven’t done anythin’ that can’t be fixed.”  Sav sighed.

“Really?  I know what Jayla feels right now, dad.”  He trembled as he remembered the hurt and anger his mother had shown him.  “Somethin’ happened that you…”

“About your mum…” Sav swallowed the lump in his throat.

“She made me see….made me feel…” He took a calming breath.  “There are things I know about, dad, that I couldn’t possible know any other way.”

“I know what she did, son.”

“You really were with ‘er.”

“Yes.”

“I ‘onestly didn’t think you’d leave ‘er.”

“I’ve wanted nothin’ more than to ‘ave your mum back with us every day.”  Sav stared out over the sky.  “But it’s like I told ‘er, she’s at peace now and you’re not.  I couldn’t leave you.”

“You’ve already sacrificed so much for me.”

“And I’d do it all over again, son.  It’s part of bein’ a parent.”

Chapter – 35

Sav took a deep breath as he mentally tried to talk himself into walking in the building.  He’d been up all night, something he shouldn’t have done, but his mind wouldn’t shut down.  The memories and emotions, both old and new, kept strumming through him making sleep impossible.

He had to do this though.  This was his son.  His reason for staying.  His reason for enduring this pain all over again.

A few minutes later, he walked down the hall and into Edward’s office.  The secretary greeted him and allowed him straight into the inner office.

“Mr. Savage, it’s been a long time.” Edward shook his hand.

“It ‘as.” He sighed and took a seat.

“Technically, I’m not supposed to do this.” He shuffled some papers. “Taylor is an adult and here on his own accord.  It’s the whole doctor/patient confidentiality clause and all.”

“I don’t care.” His voice grew low and very serious. “That lad is all I ‘ave left of my wife.  Moreover, considering ‘ow poor the results for ‘er were’ ere, he’s chosen this place.  I can’t change that but I can ensure that it works for him.” He jabbed his finger on the desk, his eyes locked on Edward’s. “I will not loose ‘im like I did ‘er.  I don’t ‘ave the strength to go through that again.”

Edward quietly stared at him for a few minutes.  Even without Joe, this man was a handful.  But, the emotions and insistence stemmed from the fierce love this man had for his family.  The key that Edward would use again this time.

“I understand where you’re coming from, Rick.  Really I do.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’ll take whatever means necessary to make him better.”

“I’m glad we understand each other.” Sav rose from his seat. “I’ll see you first thing in the morning.” He turned and walked out.

Jayla paced the living room floor in her mother and aunt’s old house as Joe fed Kenzie her breakfast.

“You’re goin’ to wear a whole in the carpet, love.” Joe called to her.

“What do you think he wanted to talk to Edward alone about?” She stopped in the doorway to the kitchen.

“I don’t know.” He lied.

“Daddy….”
”Let’s just ‘old off and see what ‘e has to say when ‘e gets back.”
”You know more than you’re tellin’ me.” She crossed her arms.

Joe looked up and noticed that she resembled Natalie with that pose.  She was giving off the same body language Natalie did when he was in trouble.  Why was it he could never hide anything from the women in his life?

“Baby, listen.” He sat the jar of baby food down. “Your uncle ‘as some issues with that particular clinic.  Add what he’s just gone through to that.  He’s a little worried right now.”

“I wish things would ‘ave been different for them.” She sighed and fell into his arms. “I wish that Uncle Sav still ‘ad ‘is wife and that TK ‘ad his mother.”

“Me too, baby.  Me too.”

Chapter – 36

Jayla looked up the moment the door opened.  Sav walked in and threw his keys on the table.
”Hi.”  

Oh shit, Sav thought.  She had that look.  Natalie would always give the same look when she knew someone was hiding something from her.

“Where is every body?” He looked around.

“Errands.” She threw the magazine on the coffee table. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Some other time, love?”

“No.” She crossed her arms. “He may be your son but he’s my husband, the father of my child, and my best friend I need to know everythin’ that’s going on.”

“Nothin’ for you to worry about.” He tried to divert her fears.

“Bullshit.” She continued, her voice calm but firm. “I want this to stop.  I mean I thought it ‘ad when he went through it as a teenager.” She began to pace. “I don’t want to loose ‘im.”

“Neither do I.” He sighed.

After a few minutes of silence, they both sat down.  The others knew his feelings about the particular clinic Taylor had chosen.  Maybe it was time she did too.

“I hate that place.” He started. “I hate what they did to ‘er while she was there and I blame them for puttin’ ‘er on the Narcon that killed ‘er.”

“The Narcon didn’t kill ‘er, Uncle Sav.  Jason Bonham and Rory Taylor killed ‘er.”

“Yes but so did the Narcon.  The Narcon caused the reaction from the cocaine they gave ‘er.  That clinic put ‘er on it.” He balled his fists.

Jayla took a moment to let it sink in.  For over twenty years this man hadn’t let go of the anger, never fully gotten over the loss.  He felt the need to place blame on someone, something, and the clinic was the target.

 “It was ‘er choice about the Narcon.” Jayla spoke softly.

“No!” He stood. “She was on it because Phil snuck ‘er out on Steve’s birthday!  When we finally found ‘er and I took ‘er back, that clinic put ‘er on it!”

Phil stopped dead in his tracks where he’d just walked in the door.  Guilt and loss filled him as Sav’s words washed over him.  Guilt he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Oh know.” Jayla gasped when she spotted him.

 Sav spun around and saw him still standing in the doorway.  He knew his words had to sound worse than he’d meant them.  He’d forgiven Phil a long time ago for that day.  He hoped Phil remembered that.

“Phil….”

“Didn’t mean to interrupt.” Phil blurted. “I’ll just….I’ll….sorry.” He shut the door and walked up the stairs.

“Damnit!” Sav ran his fingers through his hair.

Chapter – 37

Phil made his way to the basement and sat down at Kenzie’s old desk.  It was funny how memories worked.  You think time hinders your memories until a few words pull them to the surface with enough vividness that you’d swear they’d just happened yesterday.  And that’s what was happening to Phil right now. 

“Please, Phil.  I can’t take it anymore!” Kenzie’s voice echoed through his mind.

Sav was right.  It was his fault that the clinic had put her back on the Narcon.  A consequence that ended up killing her.  He sighed as he pulled a bottle of vodka out and stared at it.  It had been a long time since he’d indulged in the clear liquid.  After sobering up, he’d taken it upon himself to watch out for the other two.  Why had he been chosen to be the responsible one?  Why couldn’t it have been Kenzie or even Steve?  If it had, they’d still be alive today.  And he wouldn’t. 

He hadn’t had the pain of a lifetime of lies and disappointments to overcome like they had.  He’d indulged, as they all had, but he hadn’t needed it to hide.  They had.  That was until now.  Now it seemed that he finally understood why his best mates had needed it.  Because now he’d become the disappointment and he felt the need to hide more than ever.  He was the last of the blondes.  The one left to carry on.  Several years ago he thought it was because he was meant to help Taylor understand.  That had proven to not be true and he saw no other reason for him to be left behind. 

He slowly unscrewed the cap and tilted back his head.  The clear liquid burned his throat and settled in a hot pool in his stomach.  He choked and sputtered on the first few drinks before it began to flow down smoothly.

Chapter – 38

Everyone, minus Phil, sat around the kitchen table the next morning for breakfast.  The conversation was flowing lightly with Jayla and Sav avoiding direct conversation as much as possible.

“Pass the milk, will ya?”  Joe held his had out to Nat.

“Here.”

 As Joe was pouring his milk, he noticed Phil slip out of the basement door and sneak up the back stairs.  An empty vodka bottle and staggering steps didn’t go un-noticed to him.

“Excuse me.”  He placed his napkin on the table and stood up.  “I’ll go check on Phil.”

“Maybe that should be me.”  Sav spoke up.

“I’ll ‘andle it, mate.”  Joe didn’t leave room for argument.

Phil staggered into the guest room upstairs holding his throbbing head.  He looked down at the empty bottle then around the room for a place to hide it.  The others would have a real conniption fit if they found out what he’d done last night and that’s the last thing anyone needed.

A hiding place…a hiding place…come on!  He could surely find an excellent hiding place!  Damn, he’d always known Kenzie’s and she was the best.  Oh hell, the bathroom cabinet would have to do for now.

“Phil!”  Joe knocked on the door.

“Shit!”  Phil muttered as he closed the cabinet door.  He turned the faucet on and splashed little water on his face as his stomach began to turn.  “Uh…I think I’ll skip breakfast, mate.  I’m not feelin’ so well.”  He called out to Joe.

Joe frowned and turned the doorknob.  Shaking his head at the fact that Phil hadn’t locked the door, he walked in.  He stopped a few feet from the bathroom door as he heard Phil retching on the other side.  Served him right if he’d done what Joe was almost certain of.

 As he waited, he searched the room for the empty bottle he’d seen in Phil’s hand.  Under the bed, inside his suitcase, his overnight bag, the dresser drawers, the closet…

“What the bloody ‘ell are you doin’?”  Phil glared at him.

“Lookin’.”  Joe returned a glare of his own.  Phil swallowed hard.

“Look, I told ya I’m not feelin’ so well.”  Phil made for the bed.

“I can tell.”  Joe glanced in the bathroom before coming to a stop at the foot of the bed.  He crossed his arms as he stared down at Phil.

“What?”

“Just when did you fall of the wagon?”

Nat stared between her daughter and Sav.  The table had been completely silent since Joe got up.  That was a time when everyone else could usually get a word in.

“So, what the hell is going on between you two?”  Nat finally asked.

“Just a difference in opinion.  Don’t worry about it.”  Sav spoke calmly.

“Difference ‘ell.”  Jayla snipped.

Nat raised her eyebrows then raised her eyebrows and waited.

“We ‘ad a bit of a disagreement concerning Taylor.” Sav sighed.

“So it’s went from a difference of opinion to a disagreement?” Nat questioned even though she didn’t expect an answer. “Keep going and I might finally get the full story.”

“Uncle Sav thinks he’s the only one that knows what’s best for TK.” Jayla snapped.

“And she refuses to listen to reason.” Sav snapped back.

“I think he’s talked to me more over the years about stuff that he’s buried deep down than he ever did you!” 

Sav fell back in his chair and gazed up at Jayla.

“Jayla!”  Nat scolded.

“Whatever!”  She threw down her napkin and stormed out of the room.

Chapter – 39

 Sweat broke out across Phil’s forehead as he stared at Joe.  All the times that Steve and Kenzie came in half out of their minds and no one noticed.  He came in up the stairs once, after years of sobriety, and Joe nailed him in less than ten minutes!  How?

“Don’t know what the ‘ell your talkin’ about, mate.”  He spoke as calmly as he could.  “Now, I’d like to get a lit’tl rest before we ‘ave to go see Tay.”
”I don’t think you ‘ave any business seein’ ‘im like this.”  Joe didn’t let up.

“Where do you get this ideer that I’m off the wagon?”

“If you’re not, then prove me wrong.”

“Blow it out your arse!”  He stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door.  Hopefully a shower would sober him up a little more and take away the stench of vodka.

Joe met Sav on the landing and they exchanged worried glances and nothing more before moving on.  Joe was heading back down to the kitchen while Sav was in search of Jayla.  How in the course of just a few days could the close knit comfort they’d all felt for decades feel as though it was falling apart at the seams?  His son was in rehab, Phil was entirely too quiet, Nat was trying to play peacemaker, Jayla thought she knew it all, and he, Sav, began to question whether he’d made the right decision after all.

“Excuse me.”  Jayla tried to push past him.

“Wait a minute, Jay.”  Sav spoke calmly.  She turned and glared at him.  “We need to come to some sort of truce or neither of us will be any good to Taylor.”

She didn’t answer immediately but considered his words.  He was right.  The one thing they shared was that they both wanted the best for Taylor.  They wanted him well and at home.

“I’m sorry.”  She looked down at the floor.  “What I said was un-called for.”

“I’m sorry too.”  He shoved his hands in his pockets.  “Why don’t we go in the den ‘ere and talk about it.”  He pointed to Kenzie’s old office. 

After they settled in their respective chairs inside the den, Sav picked the conversation back up.

“I know I’ve been a bit pushy lately.  I just…I feel that….well…”  He took a deep breath.  “I just want to make sure that everythin’ possible is done for ‘im.”

“So do I.”  Jayla added.

“I know you do.”  He gave her a faint smile.  He was looking directly at the best decision his son had ever made.  Jayla truly was Taylor’s soul mate.

“Then let’s compromise.”

“I’m tryin’.”  He sighed.  “It’s just that there are some things you don’t know.  Habits, traits…things he may ‘ave inherited from his mum that you wouldn’t recognize.”

“But you will.”

“Yes.  Or your dad, mum, or Phil.  It’s goin’ to take all of us, Jayla and it will still be a ‘ell of a fight.”

“Then you watch for those and I’ll work through what he’s tellin’ us.  As cruel as it came out earlier, there are things he’s buried deep down, Uncle Sav that he’s never shared with you.”

“I know.”  He sighed, then chuckled.  “Kenzie was the same way with me.  Seems Phil and Steve always knew a lit’tl more about ‘er than I did.”

“There’s nothin’ wrong with that.”  She added gently.

“Oh, I know.  But with Kenzie it was like you could learn somethin’ knew every day about ‘er but it wasn’t new to the Blondes.”

“Taylor’s more like ‘er than I realize, isn’t ‘e?”  She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

“He is.”

“I can’t loose ‘im like that, Uncle Sav.  I just can’t.”  She covered her face and cried.

Sav slid over and knelt in front of her, pulling her into his arms.  He soothed her as he whispered.

“I can’t either Jay and I won’t.  ‘Is mum was well in the end.  She really was.”  He rubbed his hand up and down her back.  “Just understand that I don’t agree with this particular clinics rules and way of operatin’ most of the time.”

“Just let me know when you don’t agree with somethin’ and we’ll fight it together.”

“Deal.”

Chapter – 40

Phil stared at himself in the mirror.  The reflection was someone he didn’t seem to recognize.  Why?  Nothing in twenty years had made him falter.  Not even the death of his two closest friends.  Why now?

Was it years of pent up guilt?  Triggered by hearing Sav actually refer to that fateful day that he’d signed Kenzie out of the clinic?

 Suddenly his body hummed with the need for a drink.  No!  He needed to be sober.  He needed go and visit Taylor.  He’d never forgive himself if he let down Kenzie’s son.

He splashed his face with more cold water and then dried it off.  Exiting the bathroom, he walked to the closet and dressed before heading downstairs for bite to eat.  When he finished he’d talk to Sav about when they wanted to head over to the clinic.

Joe stared out over the backyard as he smoked a cigarette.  What was Phil up to?  Had he really succumbed to those habits of decades ago?

“Hey.” Sav walked out and joined him.

“You and my daughter still cuttin’ each other down?” Joe raised his eyebrows.

“Nat doesn’t let anythin’ slip by you, does she?”

“Sure she does.” Joe took another hit off the cigarette.

“I think we’ve reached an understandin’.” He went to light up.

“What the ‘ell are you thinkin’?” Joe ripped the cigarette out of his hand.

“I smoke.” Sav frowned.

“Uh…no ya don’t.” He broke it in half and threw it in the ashtray. “Kenz always said these things would kill ya.” He stared at his own.

Jayla worked on getting little Kenzie dressed in a nice little outfit.  She wanted to be ready when everyone else was.

“’Ello.” She answered the ringing phone.

“Mrs. Savage?”

“Yes.”

“It’s Jenny.  I’m sorry but I’ve caught some kinda bug and won’t be able to watch Kenzie for you this morning.”

Jayla sighed and she rubbed her forehead. “I hope you get to feelin’ better.  Thanks for callin’.” She hung up. 

Great!  Whom was she going to get to watch her daughter on such short notice?  She couldn’t take her to the clinic and she really needed to be there herself for Taylor.

“Jay?” Nat stuck her head in the room. “Who was on the phone?”

“Jenny.  She’s sick and can’t watch Kenzie.”

Nat could see the worry on her daughter’s face. “Don’t worry.” Nat assured her. “I’ll play grandma today while you guys go to the clinic.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.  He needs you, honey.  Do what you have to do.” Nat hugged her.

“Thanks mum.”

Chapter – 41

Taylor paced his room as he waited for his family to arrive.  This would be the first time he’d see his father since he lay dying in a hospital room. He took a deep breath and switched directions.  The brief telephone conversation he’d shared with his father was packed with emotion and he felt that today would be no different.

This whole situation had been a wakeup call for him.  And for the first time in his life, he’d felt the true loss of his mother.  Not the loss of the figure herself but the person he never got the chance to know, for the woman she was.  For all the might have beens in life had she been around.  For all the struggles his father had went through alone since her death.  For the granddaughter his mum would never know. 

“You pushed me ‘ere, don’t leave me now.” He looked to the ceiling and whispered. 

At that moment, the door opened and in walked Sav.  Tears immediately welled up in Taylor’s eyes as father and son moved in for an embrace.

“Dad.” Taylor choked.

“How ya doin’, son?” Sav hugged his son tightly.

“Better.  I really needed to see you.”

They stepped back and looked each other over for a minute.

“The others will be ‘ere shortly.” Sav swiped at his tears. “I wanted a few minutes with you.”

They walked over to sit down, “You’re lookin’ pretty good.” Taylor commented. “How are ya feelin’?”

“I’ve still been better.” He sighed. “But, every day gets a litt’l better.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, son.  We’ve already discussed that.  It’s done.”

Taylor nodded his head and stood to look out the window.  He was silent for a few minutes.

“Can we talk about mum?” He asked without turning to face his father.

“Of course.  You know we can talk about ‘er whenever you want.”

“I don’t want to talk about ‘er problems or habits.” He finally turned to look at Sav. “I want to talk about the wife, mother, and friend.”

Sav relaxed in his chair and stretched his legs out.  Soon, a smile slowly crept across his face.

“What?”

“Your mum was the best.” He looked up and Taylor noticed a fresh set of tears. “God, I loved ‘er before I even met ‘er.”

“Yet you turned ‘er down the first time.”

“Yeah.” He chuckled, “and she never let me forget it!”

In the meantime, Joe, Jayla, and Phil waited down the hall.  They’d agreed to let Sav and Taylor have a few minutes alone since this was their first meeting since the hospital. 

As they waited, Phil seemed to squirm in his seat under Joe’s scrutinizing gaze.

“I think I’m gonna run down and grab some coffee.” Phil jumped from his seat.

“That sounds pretty good.” Joe followed. “I’ll go with you.”

Phil rolled his eyes as they started down the hall.  After grabbing their coffees, Joe turned to study Phil.

“Will you quit lookin’ at me that way!”

“Are you ready to come clean?”

“I ‘ave nothin’ to come clean over.” Phil snarled and walked away.

Chapter – 42

“Your mum loved ‘er job not just because she was great at what she did but, she was a real people person.”

“Really?  I’d never ‘ave guessed.” Taylor looked surprised.

“I know.  She ‘ad a bit of a shy side to ‘er but I’d see ‘er work a room….” He chuckled.  “It was no time and she’d ‘ave them eatin’ out ‘er palms.”

“It was because of ‘er job that she finally found grandpa.”

“It was.  They knew each other for months before it came out.”

Taylor was quiet for a few minutes before changing the subject drastically.

“What was mum’s reaction when she found out she was pregnant with me?” 

Sav’s eyes widened.  Why would he ask that?  But, honesty was the best way to go.  Kenzie had taught him that.

“She was petrified.” He sighed, noticing tears threaten his son’s eyes. “She worried about the kind of mum she’d be.  She worried about my reaction.”

“Which was?”

“I was thrilled!” His mind flew back to that night in Spain. “She looked back at the type of mother she ‘ad and worried if she could actually be better than that.”

“Was Gran Thomas really that bad?”

“It’s the reason the woman isn’t allowed anywhere near you.” Sav’s face hardened.

“You’re out of practice.”  Joe sighed, stopping Phil. “Dammit, Phil.  Can’t you see?”

“Bloody ‘ell wouldn’t ‘elp if I did.” He glared at Joe.

“So we missed the signs with Steve and Kenzie.  Kinda makes it hard to let them slide past with you.”

“Three strikes and you’re out?”  Phil snapped back.  He was really over listening to it.
“Stuff a sock in it!”  Joe glared.  “I will not sit back and watch you kill yourself too!” 

Phil’s stomach clenched at the words.  Kill himself?  That wouldn’t happen to him.  No, he couldn’t be that lucky.  He was destined to live in this hell on earth.  Unable to escape the knowledge, blame, and guilt for not being able to save them.  For not stepping up and saying something before it was too late.

Suddenly, his body began to hum with the need for a drink.  Man, he’d forgotten what a need it could be.

“You know,….maybe you were right.  I shouldn’t be ‘ere.”  He turned on his heel and walked out.

Chapter – 43

Phil slumped down in the barstool and promptly ordered a round. To hell with all of them and this world. What had it ever brought him? Fame and fortune? Hell he couldn't hardly walk into a public place without being noticed as the "guitarist from Def Leppard".

For all the fun and luxury he'd enjoyed as a result of that title, he'd trade it all in for his best friends. Best friends? Were they really that? Could he still consider Steve and Kenzie his best
friends? The same two people he'd loved more than anything who in turn abandoned him?

Well, they'd drank themselves into oblivion and moved on and so would he. This was his turn. He was the last to go. Shortly, he thought, the Blondes would be re-united.
"Another?" The bartender asked.
"Make it a double." Phil smiled.

A few hours later he grabbed a cab and headed to a hotel. He didn't want to go back to the house with the others. Joe would only corner him with those knowing eyes again. Hell, he was certain he'd send out a search party when he didn't come back but, LA was a big city.
It would take them awhile to find him.

"May I help you, sir?" The lady behind the counter smiled.
"I need a room for the night, love." He turned on the charm.
"Sure." She glanced at the computer and began typing. "One occupant?" She looked up.

Phil started to answer then looked up in time to see a beautiful brunette enter the lounge. His mind briefly drifted to his wife, who by the way was across town at home, before smiling back at the lady behind the counter.
"Two." He bet on finding the brunette and indulging in a little extra- marital activity tonight. "There you go." She handed him his keycard. "And the lounge closes at 2:00."
"Thanks, love." He signed the slip and headed straight to the bar.

As soon as the others walked into the house that night, Joe pulled Nat straight up to their room.
"Joe…" She sighed. "Can't you wait until we go to bed?"
"As much as I'd love to ravish you every minute of every day, that's not why I pulled you up `ere."
Nat noticed the look on his face. "What's bothering you?" She knew he needed to talk.

He let out a deep breath and turned to stare out the window.
"Phil's fallen off the wagon."
"Don't be ridiculous!" She chuckled. "Phil?" She shook her head. "I hardly doubt that one."
"The other mornin' when I went to check on `im?" He waited till she nodded. "I caught `im staggerin' up the steps with an empty bottle. He's been jumpy ever since."
"What does Sav say about this?" She grew serious.
"I haven't said anythin'." He rubbed his eyes. "The last thing I want to do is make `im `ave another coronary."
"And Anita? Have you even called to tell Phil's wife?"
"I turned to you, Natalie!" Joe turned around with tears in his eyes. "That's what I'm suppose to do."
"Oh, Joe." She rushed over and threw her arms around him.

Joe clung to her and soaked up the strength she offered. He couldn't take this anymore. These years were suppose to spent enjoying family and friends not still fighting the habits of their youth.
"First it was Tay hurtin' my baby girl, then Sav finding out he was using again, then Sav's heart attack, and now Phil's back on the bottle. I don't know `ow much more I can handle myself, Nat."
"I know." She soothed. "But, you've always been the rock everyone's leaned on. You'll find the strength, baby. You always do."
"That's not true. I wasn't strong for Steve and I wasn't strong for Kenz."
"You were. More than you'll ever know." Nat looked up at him. "She always thought of you as that big brother she always wanted and never had. You were very dear to her and she listened to you even if you didn't realize it."
"You're my strength." He kissed her gently. "Don't ever question `ow much I love you." He caressed her face. "I've loved you more than life for decades."
"I know. I love you just the same, Joseph Elliott."

Chapter – 44

That night Joe tossed and turned in bed for a few hours before deciding to sneak down and lay on the couch. He didn't want Nat deprived of any sleep as well. As he entered the living room, he heard soft crying coming from the room.
"Jayla?" His eyes focused on her curled up in a chair in the corner.
"Oh, Daddy." She sobbed.

Joe walked over and picked her up, placing her in his lap as he settled back on the chair. He sat for a few minutes quietly comforting his daughter.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I'm just scared to death. I mean, he looked so much better today but he looked worse. His eyes were clear but the dark circles and the shaky hands….I just don't know about that."
"That's normal, honey." He brushed his hand over her hair, his heart breaking from the pain in her voice. "Those are typical reactions from `is body withdrawlin'."
"Will it get better? Will Kenzie `ave to see `im that way?"
"Yes and no." He kissed her temple.


She cried on his shoulder a little longer before she looked up at him. "Thanks, daddy." She kissed his cheek and stood up. "I think I'll go up and try to sleep."
"I'll see ya in the mornin'."
"Ok." She walked off toward the stairs then stopped. "Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry I went to Uncle Phil about this first. It's just that….well…TK's mum always turned to him and I thought he'd be able to tell without actually seein' Taylor himself."
"Love, I'm just glad you went to someone." He gave her half a smile.
"Me too. Love you, daddy." She walked up the stairs.
"I love you too, sweetie." He laid his head back and fell asleep.


"What's on your mind, Joe?" Kenzie stared across at him.
"Everythin'." He felt only a little shock at talking to her.
"It `as to be about Taylor or Phil." She stated firmly. "They're the only two I'd worry about if I were there."
"Tay's where `e should be, getting the `elp he needs." He sighed. "I know he's your son but I could damn near kill the litt'l bastard for hurtin' Jayla like this."
"He knows." She looked him straight in the eye. "He knows what she's feelin', what she's goin' through because of what he did. I made sure of that."
"You prompted `im to go into rehab."

It was more statement than question. After he'd talked with Sav and he'd talked about Kenzie and being with her, he felt it in his gut that she'd had to have been involved with Taylor's decision.


"So tell me what Philly's been up to?"
"He's drinkin' again." He choked. "Kenz, I don't `ave the strength to do this again. It `urt really bad when we lost Steve and it damn near killed me when we lost you."
"I've been sent to `elp."
"'Elp? But, Kenz, that's impossible. You're….."
"I know. That's why I only appear in your dreams. I've done it with Rick…."
"He wasn't dreamin'."
"No, he wasn't. I wanted `im to stay. That wasn't what was suppose to happen, it's not `is time but…..once I saw `im I didn't want to let go again."
"Neither did `e."
"But `e did." She wiped away a tear. "And that's what makes `im a great father."
"Kenz…." He reached out and brushed the tears from her cheek.
"This is your time, Joe. I'm `ere to help you with what's botherin' you."

Joe sat back and swallowed the lump in his throat. How was talking to a ghost in his dreams going to help him decide anything? Now was not the time to get delusional.

"What `as Phil done?"
"Like I said, he's drinkin' again."
She nodded her head as though she understood.
"Why?" He asked.
"I don't know, Joe. Why do you think?"
"Is it because Taylor's drinkin' again? Or is it deeper than that?"
"You tell me what you think."
"I think he feels lost with out the two of you."
"And what can be done about that?"
"I don't know!" He ran a hand through his hair. "I fuckin' don't know."

Joe woke up with a start. Sweat was pouring down his face and his heart pounding inside his chest. Good God, that was freaky!

Chapter – 45 

Phil slid out of the barstool with the room spinning around him.

“So, love, you gonna join me for the night?” He smiled at the brunette he’d eyed coming in.

“That sounds like a temping offer.” Lori, the brunette, leaned into him.

“I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Lead the way sexy.” She laced arm through his and followed him to his room.

When they got to the room, Phil opened the mini bar and pulled out a couple of bottles.

“Drink?”

“Sure.” She took a bottle from him and drank down half in one swallow.

Phil on the other hand downed the entire contents and reached for another.  Downing it in the same way.

“Enough already.” She took the bottle away and pulled him to the bed.

Sav stared at Joe across the breakfast table the next morning.  Something was wrong.  Joe hadn’t said a single word this morning.  He looked around and noticed that everyone else was finished.

“Could I ‘ave a minute alone with Joe, please.” He asked around the table. 

Jayla grabbed Kenzie and mumbled something about getting her dressed and Nat followed silently, squeezing Joe’s shoulder as she passed.

“You’re quiet.” Sav stated.

“Somethin’ wrong with that?”

“For you…..yeah.” He sipped his coffee.  When Joe still didn’t say anything he proceeded.  “Why don’t you tell me whatever it is you’re not tellin’ me?”

“It’s nothin’……I mean….I don’t want to add anythin’ for you to worry about.”

“Let me decide what I can ‘andle.”

Joe took a deep breath and looked into Sav’s eyes.  Were they ready to go through this again?  Sure Taylor had put them through it as a teenager and again now but Joe had a feeling that Phil was……….

“Joe?”

“It’s Phil.” Joe rubbed his eyes. “And it’s serious.”

“Ok.” Sav sipped his coffee. “Tell me.”

“He’s drinkin’.”

“Phil?” Sav choked. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Damn.” Sav covered his face with his hands.

“There’s more.” Joe sighed.

He hadn’t been sure he was going to tell him but he thought it best to explain how’d he come to the conclusion about Phil’s deeply buried feelings over the loss of his dearest friends.

Besides, if there were anyone he could tell, that wouldn’t think he’d completely lost his bloody mind, it would be Sav. 

“I ‘ad a dream last night.  After I talked to Nat about my suspicions.  In this dream I ‘ad a soothin’ conversation with a certain blonde that we all loved.”

“Kenzie?” Sav gasped.

Joe simply nodded his head.  Sav could hardly believe his ears.  What the hell was going on?  His deceased wife was visiting them in their dreams…..ok, so maybe his wasn’t exactly a dream…..  Why?

“It’s a litt’l freaky but she said somethin’ about bein’ here to ‘elp us through it this time.”

“Why?” Sav choked with tears in his eyes.

“Maybe this is a way for us to finally let it go and truly say goodbye to ‘er.” He dipped his head. “And who better to ‘elp Phil than one of the Blondes?”

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Sav let everything sink in.    What in the world was going on?  And is what Joe said really true?

“Where is ‘e?”

“Right now?  I’m not sure.”

“Let me know.  Right now, I ‘ave to go see my son.” He stood and walked out of the room.

Chapter – 46

Phil walked through a foggy room…..or was it just his blurred vision?  He could still feel the effects of the alcohol he’d consumed the previous night coursing through his veins.  Where the bloody hell was he and what was going on?

The hair on the back of his neck stood up and stopped him cold.  There, standing before him, was Kenzie.   

“But….” He stammered.

“My dear sweet Philly.  What are you doin’ to yourself?”

“What the bloody ‘ell do you care?” Anger surged through him.

Kenz silently cringed at the harsh words.

“After all this time, damn near twenty-five years, you care what I’ve done?”

“I know what you’re feelin’?”

“Do you?  Doubtful!” He spat. “Tell me, Mackenzie, what’s it feel like to be responsible for the deaths of two of your closest friends?  To feel the underlying blame from your mates for those deaths?  To know yourself that you held the power to save them and didn’t?” His voice grew louder. “Do you know how it feels to know that they obviously didn’t care the same about you and left you behind to suffer all by yourself?”

Kenzie didn’t speak but only let him vent the things she knew were troubling him most.  Painful even in this life, she had to let him get it out.  It was the first step in healing.

“Damn you, Mackenzie!  Damn both of you for leaving me!” He woke up with a start.  He was lying in the hotel room, soaked with sweat and his previous night’s companion no where to be found. 

He made his way to the shower as a powerful ache filled his chest.  Is that truly how he felt?  Was he blaming not only himself but Kenzie and Steve as well?  He hadn’t saved them but they hadn’t taken him with them when they’d died.  They’d abandoned him in a life they could no longer handle.  With no regard to whether he could or not. 

But man, she’d looked so beautiful and the ache inside his chest grew.    True he was married now.  To a wonderful woman who wouldn’t understand the actions he’d carried out last night.  As much as he honestly loved her, a part of his heart would forever belong to Kenzie.  A woman who’d left him even though he’d never really had her for himself.

Chapter –47

Taylor lounged in a chair as he waited on Jayla to arrive.  She’d called to say that she’d be here for a session with him and Edward. 

“Hey, TK.” She smiled as she walked into the room.

Taylor noticed her eyes looked red and puffy. “Oh, Jayla.” He choked.

“I just ‘ad a rough go of it last night.” She let him hug her. “Just knowin’ what happened to your mum…..being there to learn it with you as a teenager…I’m so scared.”

“Please don’t cry anymore.  I’m ‘ere to get better, baby.  I won’t let it happen again.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“But I ‘ave to head into this thing with that kind of attitude.  I won’t allow myself to ‘urt you like that again and I won’t allow our daughter to grow up without me.  I’ve been there and know what it’s like.”

“TK….your mum…..’ave you….”
“No.  Just that one time.” He sighed. He’d wished, even prayed, that she’d visit him again.  Just so that he could have a conversation with her.  Not about problems and pain, hell that felt like all he’d been doing.  No, not that, but a conversation even about nothing important.  Just simply having a chat with his mother.

“Where’s litt’l Kenzie?” He asked.
“At the ‘ouse with my mum and dad.”

“Bring ‘er to see me?”

“No.” She stated firmly. “I don’t want ‘er to see you like this.”

“I want to see ‘er, Jay.”  He ran a shaky hand through his hair. “I need to see ‘er.”

“No.”

“Dammit!” His eyes turned dark and his body became tense. “She’s my daughter too.  The one thing I begged you not to do was to take ‘er away from me.”

“I haven’t.”

“Yes!  You ‘ave!” He pointed at her.

“Tay….”

“Forget it!” He stormed out.

Sav walked in to see Taylor storming down the hall and Jayla standing frozen in the middle of the room.

“Jayla?”

“He….he was so….” She turned her tear filled eyes toward Sav.

“I know.” He pulled her into his arms.  He knew all to well the anger and hateful side his son was entering into.  This would be the hardest part.

Chapter – 48 

The shower seemed to sober Phil up some but it was a feeling he didn’t want.  He wanted the constant feel of numbness.  He wanted the pain he was feeling to end. But, first thing first.  He had to go and see Taylor.  For that he had to be relatively sober.

As he entered the clinic, the ache in his chest increased just a bit.  He signed in and then headed down the hall to Taylor’s room.  As he walked in, he caught Taylor mumbling to himself.

“Bloody can’t believe it.  Damn it, I ‘ave to get out of ‘ere.” Taylor grumbled to himself.

Phil shook.  Shook down to his very core as another time in the same place clouded his brain.  Another voice.
“I need to get out of ‘ere!  Please, Phil!”

Phil rubbed his face and blinked. “Come with me.”

Taylor’s head whipped around and was surprised to see him there. “What?”

“Let’s go.” Phil smiled.  Looking down the hall both ways, he led Taylor toward one of the side doors away from the front desk.

Once they were outside, they ran for Phil’s car.

“Why?” Taylor asked.

“Because.” He turned the engine over. “What the ‘ell do the others know about all this anyway?”

Taylor thought for a moment. “Right.”

It wasn’t that he really needed a drink, he just wanted to see his daughter.  The reason he was fighting this addiction so strongly.

But, did he have her?  Jayla wouldn’t let him see her now so what made him think he’d get to see her when he was out?

Didn’t Jayla realize how important she was to him?  Didn’t she realize that his baby girl was the reason he was in that place?   

The questions and doubts continued to swirl around his brain as Phil drove.  And drove.

“Where the ‘ell are we?” Taylor finally focused on his surroundings.

“A litt’l place you’re mum introduced me to a long time ago.”

“But…..you don’t…..” Taylor turned to see Phil grinning.

Chapter –49

 Joe looked up as a very pale-faced Sav walked through the front door to the house.

“Mate?” Joe stepped toward him. “You feel all right?”

“I think I’m goin’ to lay down for awhile.” He headed for the stairs.

“How’s Taylor this mornin’?”

“Phil checked ‘im out.” Is all he said before walking the rest of the way to his room in silence.

Joe fell onto the couch, his mouth gaping open.  No!  This surely wasn’t happening.  The events…….they were to eerily similar to before.  The result of that, was the Narcon……and ultimately, Kenzie’s death.

Pulling himself together, Joe walked to the kitchen to make a few calls.  First was to Sav’s doctor.  His friend was looking far to pale for his peace of mind.  He talked the doctor into making a house call and then turned straight around and called the clinic.  He wanted to know what had happened and what was being done.

When he finished, he exhaled and turned to find Jayla standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

“What now?” She asked evenly, though her heart was pounding.

“Baby…..”

“Don’t!” She sat down next to him at the bar. “Uncle Sav looks like ‘ell and you don’t look much better at the moment.  What’s happened?”

Could Joe stand to break her heart even more?  Wasn’t it his responsibility to protect her?  She was, regardless of her age, his little girl.  She always would be.  Hell, just last night he’d held her in his lap as she’d cried on his shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly. “Phil’s checked Taylor out of the clinic.”

“When?  I was just there!”

“After you left, they discovered that Taylor wasn’t in ‘is room.” He ran a hand through his hair. “They did a search of the grounds and couldn’t find ‘im.”

“And?”

“They found where Phil had signed in to see ‘im.  He never signed out and neither of them is there.”

“Ok.” Her heart raced but Taylor was with Phil.  That surely couldn’t be a bad thing. “Maybe Phil will talk him out of…….”

“Honey, Phil’s not in a state of mind to be of ‘elp at the moment.” Joe rubbed his face.

Chapter – 50

Sav dumped one Nitro pill into the palm of his hand then popped it into his mouth and washed it down with water.  Damn, the pain in his chest was intense.  Not like when he’d had the heart attack but enough. 

He lay down on the bed and closed his eyes.  He willed himself to fall asleep in hopes that Kenzie would come to him.  Not Taylor, not Joe, but him.  He needed to see her. 

His eyes grew heavy but sleep evaded him still. 

“Dammit!” He punched the bed beside him. “If I get my hands on ‘im, I may just kill ‘im this time.” He spoke in reference to Phil.

“You know, talkin’ to yourself is the first sign of insanity.” Brian spoke from the doorway.

“What the bloody ‘ell took you so long?”

“’Ad to ‘ave a chat with your real doctor downstairs.” Brian walked into the room and sat down beside Sav. “You look like ‘ell.”

“Feel like it too.” 

Brian just nodded his head and proceeded to take Sav’s vitals.  A frown creased his face as he took his blood pressure.  He finished up and placed his stuff back inside his bag.  As he sat back up, his eyes caught a family photo of his brother, Kenzie, and Taylor shortly after he was born. 

“You ‘ave to take it easy.” Brian sighed.

“Easy for you to say.”

“Not really.” Brian ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I know there isn’t a day that goes by that you don’t miss ‘er.  Even being with Paige.  Taylor’s all you physically ‘ave left of ‘er and you ‘ave to be in good health to ‘elp ‘im.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Sav jumped off the bed. “I just want this all to end.  I want my son back!”

“Ok….ok…..” Brian put his hands up. “Calm down.”

“I can’t!” He stopped and looked at his brother. “Not till I know I ‘aven’t lost ‘im too.”

Brian sighed loudly. “If you don’t, we’ll loose you too.”

Chapter – 51

Taylor stared at the glass sitting in front of him as Phil proceeded to down glass after glass beside him. One drink would ruin everything. One drink would make things worse than he’d already made them.

“Drink up, lad.” Phil waved his hand at him.

“I don’t know.” Taylor shook his head.

“What’s not to know? This lovely clear liquid makes all the pain go away. Your mum learned that.”

“My mum died because of it.” Taylor seethed. “That clear liquid is the reason I don’t know ‘er.”

“She left me too, Taylor.” Phil sighed heavily.

“But I never got to know ‘er!”

“The vodka will make you forget that.”

“And it will cause my daughter to ‘ave to grow up with the same memories.”

“Did your dad ever tell you what the turning point was for your mum?” Phil chuckled, completely drunk by this point.

“No.” Taylor shook his head. “Not that I can recall.”

“It was you.” He finished off yet another glass. “She used again and hooked up with an old flame. Cheated on your dad….”

Tears flooded Taylor’s eyes as he recalled the pain and anger his father had felt when he’d found them.

“It was at that moment that your mum realized that usin’ left you vulnerable. She called me and then checked herself into the clinic again.”

“And?”
“She got better.” Phil sighed. “Never used again after that.”

“It’s why I don’t want to put my Kenzie through it.” Taylor pushed the glass away. “I promised this would end with me.” He stood. “That’s one promise I will not break!”

Brian walked down the stairs and cornered Joe in the living room.

“How is ‘e?” Joe asked him.

“It’s all up to ‘im.” Brian sighed. “Damn, I’d forgotten ‘ow stubborn he could be.”

“Really?” Joe lightly chuckled. “How’s that possible?”

“I know.” He opened his bag. “Now, ‘ave a seat so that I can check you over before I go.”

“Me?” Joe shook his head. “I don’t need you to do that.”

“Nat’s orders.”

“Fine.” He sat and let Brian do a check up on him. “Do me a favor and see about Jayla before you go?”

“I already did. Gave ‘er a mild sleeping pill to let ‘er rest and calm ‘er nerves a bit.”

“Thanks.”

“Gwanpa?” A sleepy Kenzie walked into the room.

“Aye, baby girl.” Joe motioned for her to sit on his lap.

“Looks just like ‘er grandma, that one.” Brian smiled.

Phil watched Taylor’s back as he headed for the doors.

“You can’t beat this, Tay! Haven’t you figured that out?” Phil yelled.

“What?”

“You’ll always live with it and eventually die tryin’.”
“You’re wrong.”

“Am I? It took Steve, then your mum, and now look at me. I’ve not ‘ad a drop since the day we buried your mum. I’m over fightin’ it.”

“Then you’re weak.” Taylor shot back.

“So were they.”

Taylor wasn’t sure what had gotten into him. Maybe it was a combination of things or just the need to defend his mother in some sense. He wasn’t sure. All he knew is that he’d drawled his fist back and taken a swing at Phil, hitting him square against the jaw and knocking him off the barstool, onto the floor.

“Bloody ‘ell!” Phil held his jaw as he tried to get up.

“Come on, you bloody idiot!” Taylor yelled. It was though a floodgate had opened inside him. “How dare you talk about ‘er that way!”

“I was there you litt’l……” Phil spoke as Taylor punched him again. “You were still a snot nosed babe in diapers…..” A right hook to the eye this time sent him back to the floor.

“She may ‘ave died from it, but she was a ‘ell of a lot stronger than you.” Taylor drew back to punch him again.

“That’s enough son!” Sav spoke sternly from behind him.

Taylor froze momentarily, battling himself on what to listen to. His father or the anger surging through him? He looked down again and noticed Phil was unconscious and he simply released him, letting him fall to the floor.

Chapter – 52

Phil squinted at his surroundings trying to focus through the foggy haze that seem to overtake him again.

“No….I don’t want to see ‘er.” He shook his head.

“Why Philly?” Kenzie’s soft voice filtered through yet he still couldn’t see her.

“No!”

“I only want to ‘elp you.”

“Yeah right. You can’t ‘elp me.” He searched for a way to get out.

“Phil.” She gently laid a hand on his shoulder as she appeared before him. “I can. All you ‘ave to do it let me.”

“I don’t want your ‘elp!” He yelled. “You left me! Both of you did!”

Sav reached down and felt for Phil’s pulse. Thready and weak, but there. He let out a deep breath. Then he turned to his son and sniffed.

“I haven’t ‘ad a drop.” Taylor confessed, meeting Sav’s eyes.

“Good.” He breathed just a little easier.

“You don’t look so well.” Concern flooded Taylor’s features.

“Yeah? That’s the same thing your Uncle Brian told me.” He motioned to Phil. “’Elp me get ‘im in the car.”

Phil surroundings finally came into focus. He was standing in an open field of green grass and sunshine. Yet, the peaceful feeling it should have provided didn’t fully seep in.

“I’ve done it, haven’t I?” He asked her.

“Not yet.” She shook her head. “Not entirely.”
“What do I ‘ave to do?”

She didn’t speak just looked over her shoulder at the bridge behind her.

“You and Steve left me. Left me to deal with the pain you two couldn’t handle any more. But…..I’ve found the way. The Blondes are once again back together.”

“They were never apart, mate.” A soft male voice entered the conversation.

Sav and Taylor walked into a tiny office area after getting Phil admitted into the Emergency Room. He had some things he’d wanted to discuss with his son.

“Before you start…..” Taylor jumped in. “I didn’t ‘ave a single drop.”

“That’s good. But, you still left the clinic.” Sav’s stare bore into him. “Do you ‘ave any idea what that clinic will do to you when you get back?”

“Dad…..”

“They’ll put you on that Narcon and then I’ll ‘ave to worry every day if it will take you away just like it did your mum.”

“But I didn’t….”

“It doesn’t matter! It’s part of their standard procedure to show you there are consequences to your actions.”

“They still can’t put me on it.”

“And ‘ow do you figure that one?”

“Because, the only way that I’d agree to checking myself in is, they ‘ad to agree that no drugs would or could be administered without Jayla’s approval.” He ran his hands through his hair before turning tear filled eyes to his father. “I don’t want my baby to grow up without me.”

Sav studied his son for a minute. Even though he left the clinic, worried them all, made things seem once again like history was repeating itself, he had a certain amount of pride that came through all this.

“Dad?”

“Huh?”

“Maybe you should sit down.” He tried to coax him to a chair.

Sav swiped his hand across his forehead and realized he was sweating.

“Do you ‘ave your medicine with you?”

“I already took one at the ‘ouse.”

“Let me get a doctor to check you out then.”

“Brian already did at the ‘ouse. I’m fine.” He waived a dismissive hand.

Chapter – 53

Phil closed his eyes and tried to fight back the emotions that stayed with him.

“No, not ‘im.” Phil pleaded.

“The Blondes, Phil. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?” The soft male voice asked.

“Yeah, it is.”
“So now you ‘ave us.” Kenzie added. “At the cost of leavin’ those you love behind. At the price your children will pay when they grow up without you.”

Phil choked on his tears and fell to his knees. His children. Why is it his mind hadn’t drifted to them once during this ordeal? Was he so hung up on the idea that Steve and Kenzie had left him that he couldn't think of anything else?

“Phil…” Steve knelt in front of him. “Mate, there ‘as not been a day that Kenzie and I haven’t been with you. The three of us could never be far from each other. After I died, you not only kept me alive with my music but in your heart as well. You did the same with Kenz.”

“The litt’l things you couldn’t quite explain……”

Phil nodded his head.

“That was us.” Kenzie smiled.

“But I’ve failed.” Phil choked.

“No, you haven’t.” Kenzie tried to assure him.

“You’re human, Phil. You’ve made mistakes but nothin’ that can’t be forgiven.”

“Really?” Phil looked from Steve to Kenzie. “Sav still blames me for you dyin’.”

“You’re the only one that blames you, Philly. And it’s time you let it go.”

Taylor sat fussing over Sav’s exhausted looking form as the others arrived at the hospital.

“Tay?” Jayla gasped.

“Aye.” He looked to the floor. What ever she did, he had it coming.

“Oh, TK!” She ran into his arms.

Shocked, Taylor wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. Something in that moment told him everything would be all right. Then, he realized what that something was. Kenzie. His little baby girl was behind them, squirming to get out of Joe’s arms.

“Daddy!” She went running to him.

“Baby.” He picked her up and held her close.

“I wuv you, daddy.”

“Oh baby, I love you too.”

Sav watched as Taylor interacted with his daughter. His son was sober. It was plain and clear to see just as his eyes were. He’d fought the urge and won. He’d realized he needed to stop for the same reasons his mother had. A child.

“Aye, mate.” Joe sat down next to Sav.

“Joe.” Sav swallowed back the emotion.

“You didn’t listen to Brian.”

“Why start now?” He chuckled.

“What?” Taylor turned his attention to them.

“Nothin’.” Sav spoke.

“Bull!” Joe and Taylor replied simultaneously before Joe continued. “Brian told ‘im he needed to take it easy.”

“Dad…..”

“I’ll be fine.” He sighed.

Nat finally spoke up before the battle of the wills began. She knew that none of them would back down and it would only make it worse if they got into it now.

“How’s Phil?”

“Still waitin’ on the doctor to come out.”

“What the bloody ‘ell happened?” Joe asked.

“I knocked ‘im out cold.”

“TK!”

“I know but ‘e was bad mouthin’ mum.” He shook his head and looked at his dad and uncle. “I’ve never heard ‘im talk about ‘er that way.”

“He ‘as a lot of issues to work through.” Joe sighed.

Chapter – 54

Phil struggled with what they were telling him. No, Sav did blame him. He not only said the words that he, Phil, had checked her out of the clinic but he could see it in Sav’s eyes. He blamed him for the Narcon. For her death.

“Phil, he’s goin’ to be angry that you took Taylor from the clinic. But, he’ll get over it. My son ‘ad the strength to not drink.”

“So he’ll blame me for Taylor bein’ put on Narcon too.” Phil muttered.

“Phil…” Steve interjected.

“I can’t do it.” Phil looked them both in the eye. “I want to stay ‘ere with you.”

Taylor sat down next to his dad and folded his hands. “Where’s Paige?”

“Huh?”
”Paige. Where is she?”

Sav sighed. “Back at the ‘ouse.”

Sav rubbed his hands over his face. Paige. She’d been keeping quite a low profile since catching up with them after he was released from the hospital. He hadn’t talk to her about why. Part of him was a little worried and therefore afraid to ask her about it. He’d been with Paige for nearly ten years but the events of lately had his thoughts filled with his late wife.

“Dad?”

“She’s just tryin’ to be there without bein’ in the way.” He quickly made up the excuse.

“You know, she’s been good for you over the years and really cares for you. Maybe all this talk about mum has ‘er feelin’ a little out of sorts.”

“Maybe.”

“Mrs. Collen?” The doctor walked in and looked around.

“She’s not made it ‘ere yet.” Nat spoke up.

“We’re all like family though.” Joe added.

“Very well.” He rubbed his eyes. “Your friend ‘as an incredible high blood alcohol level. We’re still running tests.”

“Can we see ‘im?” Joe asked.

“Shortly. He’s still unconscious. Once ‘is level comes down a bit, I’d like to put ‘im on a drug called Narcon. It would ‘elp……”

“No!” The whole group demanded.

The doctor stepped back, surprised. Once he gained his composure he tried to explain his reasoning.

“The Narcon will ‘elp to prevent any…….”
”We’re quite familiar with the drug.” Sav jumped in.

“Find somethin’ else….” Joe followed.

“Anythin’ else.” Nat finished.

Chapter – 55

The group settled into their seats, waiting to see Phil.

“You know, we ‘ave to tell Anita.” Joe rubbed his eyes.

“What?” Sav spoke through clenched teeth.

“That’s right.” Nat shook her head.

“What?”

“She doesn’t know about the Narcon, mate. Not like we do.”

Taylor stood back and watched his dad. He needed someone to lean on. He needed someone to just be there and offer the strength he needed. And, Taylor knew just who to call.

“Where you goin’?” Jayla asked him as he headed down the hall.

“You ‘ave your cell on you?”

“Yeah.” She handed it over.

Taylor dialed the number for the house and listened as it rang. Funny, Taylor always dwelled on the fact that he’d grown up without his mum. But hadn’t Paige always been there? Even though his father had never married her, she’d tried her best to make them feel like a family without pushing his mum out of the circle. She’d been respectful of his father’s feelings toward his late wife and the issues Taylor had always had over not remembering her.

“’Ello?”

“Paige, it’s Tay.”

“Oh, Taylor! Are you all right?” Concern laced her voice.

“I’m fine.”

“Rick?”

“Dad’s good. He could really stand to ‘ave you with ‘im though.”

“Sure. Anythin’.” She reached for her purse and keys. “Where are you?”

“Hospital. Still in the ER waiting room.”

“Hospital?” She stopped dead in her tracks. “You said ‘e was fine.”

“He is. It’s Phil. We’ll explain when you get ‘ere.” He rang off.

Jayla smiled up at her husband. The young man she fell in love with was shining through and her heart swelled with hope. Maybe, just maybe, things would be all right.

“I love you, Jay. So much that I feel I’d go crazy without you and Kenzie.”

“We love you, too.” She kissed him lightly before they returned to wait with the others.

Chapter – 56

Steve and Kenzie looked at one another. They weren’t getting through to him.

“Phil…” Steve started.

“Please? I can’t take this pain anymore.”

“Let it go.” Kenzie added. “Stop punishin’ yourself for somethin’ you weren’t responsible for.”

“You didn’t.” He looked at both of them.

“And look at all those I ‘urt.” Steve responded.

“I did let it go.” Kenzie added. “I just wanted to be sure I could make it through one more of Steve’s birthdays before I went off the Narcon. That decision along with Rory and Jason’s actions caused my death. Not you and not the pain.”

Phil watched her for a moment, barely catching Steve fade away in the distance. Did he really carry all this guilt because he believed Sav blamed him? Or was it because he felt he was responsible for killing the woman he had loved for so long? A woman he could never have.

Now, here she was sitting before him, looking as beautiful as she ever had. If he stayed here with her, he’d still not have her. Not even for a little while. But, he’d have his two best friends.

At the cost of leaving your loved ones behind feeling what you’ve felt. Since when did you did you decide to tuck tail and run? You didn’t do it after Steve died. No, you stayed and helped Kenzie deal with it. You didn’t after she died, you stayed behind and helped Sav. Later in life you helped Taylor to know a part of his mum he couldn’t have known any other way. So, why give in now? Why not suck it up and keep going for yourself?

“Phil…”

“Mackenzie.” He gazed into her eyes. “I loved you so much when you were alive.” He brushed his hand across her cheek. “I just couldn’t forgive myself for that day I checked you out.”

“It was that day that showed me I ‘ad to be strong.” She smiled. “That I ‘ad to do it for my litt’l boy.”

“He’s so much like you that it feels I ‘ave you back now and again.”

“Minus the sexy feminine body, huh?”

“Minus that.” He laughed with her.

“You’re doin’ it, Phil.” She backed away. “Keep it up.”

“Kenz…..”

“I’ll see you again.” And she faded away just as Steve had.

Joe’s head whipped up as he heard Phil gasp for air. A few moments later, he saw his eyelids flutter open.

“Phil? Mate?” Joe jumped from his chair.

“Kenzie….” He whimpered.

Chapter – 57

The group jumped out of their seats as Joe came running into the waiting room.

“He’s awake!”

Sav took a calming breath as a new round of rage ran through him. This was his mate. He needed to focus on the fact he needed help and that he’d pulled through a questionable lapse.

But, he was a father. First and foremost. He had been since the day his son was born. That responsibility had increased the day he’d lost Kenzie. The father in him wanted to pummel Phil for what he’d done. For taking the chance of Sav loosing all that he had left of her and more.

“Sav?” Nat looked to him.

“You guys go ahead. I’m not ready.”

“But…”

“I can’t.” He spoke sternly. “Not till I can assure myself I won’t knock the ‘ell out of ‘im.”

As the others filed in to see Phil, Sav turned and walked out of the hospital, Paige following silently behind.

“You want me to drive?” She offered when they reached the car.

“Yeah.” He gave her a weak smile and tossed her the keys. “Thanks.”

Once they reached the house, Sav locked himself in the den. He sipped his soda as he grabbed the photo album from the shelf and settled himself on the sofa. Opening the album, he carefully ran his fingers over the pictures. Photos of birthdays, parties, concerts, vacations…..all moments and memories with Kenzie. What he’d give for just one more night…………

Joe stood at the foot of Phil’s bed and tried not to look to intimidating. Nat was right. Everyone looked to him to lead the group. It had always been his role.

“You’re goin’ to rehab.” Joe stated simply.

“Joe!” Nat scolded.

“I’m not pussy footin’ around this time.” He crossed his arms.

“Joe…” Nat attempted again.

“He’s right.” Phil spoke hoarsely.

Chapter – 58

Phil walked out into the blazing sunlight washing over the California sky. He closed his eyes and took a deep refreshing breath before his eyes settled on Anita.

“Oh, Nita!” He ran over and scooped her up in his arms.

“Are you ready to go?”

“More than ready.” He smiled as they climbed into the car.

Phil stared out the window as they drove down the road toward their house. Three months. Three very long months. That’s what it had taken for him to come to terms with his problem and the guilt he’d carried with him.

Everyone had stood by him just as they had Steve and Kenzie. Though it had taken Sav a few weeks to come in and see him, he’d done it and he’d forgiven him just as he had before. Part of him still wondered why he was left behind but realized that one day he’d join them and not a minute before his time.

Arriving home, Phil and Anita had lunch with their children before he excused himself to do some work.

“Work?” Anita raised her eyebrows.

“Call it a litt’l spring cleanin’.” Phil rubbed his neck. “A few things I believe may be better off in storage.”

Anita smiled, knowing what he meant. “I’ll bring you some coffee after I get the kitchen cleaned.”

“Thanks.”

He walked down the hall and flipped on the lights to his music room. There, on the opposite wall, dozens of videos faced him. Moments of time captured over the decades. It was time to move past it, to let go.

He grabbed a box and headed over to the shelves. Slowly he began pulling the videos off, reading the labels and placing those long ago tour videos in the box.

He’d gone through a couple of rows when he came across one that wasn’t labeled. He popped it into the VCR and pressed play. The Euphoria Tour. Yep, it needed to hit the box. And just as he was about to press stop, he heard her laugh. It still sent a tingle up his spine. Looking back at the screen he noticed that the video had changed. This part wasn’t recorded in any hotel or arena but there she was and he was drawn to watch her.

Chapter – 59

Sav walked around the quiet house. Paige had left that morning to visit her parents for the day and was meeting him at Taylor and Jayla’s for dinner. His son was out of rehab and at this moment at home with his wife and daughter. A thought that had made him smile. It had been a difficult three months but he’d been through worse. Brian had called to check on him every day and was happy to hear that his regular doctor was pleased with his progress.

Checking the clock and realized he had time for a kip, he headed up to bed. As he undressed and crawled under the sheets, something electrifying filled the air. He looked around the room but couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Still, the hair on the back of his neck stood on end.

He couldn’t have had his eyes closed more than a few seconds when he heard it. The soft sounds of someone else breathing in the room. Then he felt it. Someone or something was on the bed with him. He carefully peeked one eye open to look through his lashes and his breath caught in his throat.

Surely he was dreaming but he’d only been lying there for a few seconds. That really wasn’t time to fall asleep, was it?

“I won’t bite…..unless you ask.” She giggled.

“I don’t understand.” He sat up.

“It’s finished. Taylor and Philly are goin’ to be fine. My time ‘ere is done……almost.”

“Almost?”

“It seems you’ve ‘ad an unanswered prayer.” Kenzie smiled. “This time is ours.”
“Just you and me?” His eyes lit up.

“Just us.”

He reached a hand up, still thinking she was a figment of his imagination, and cupped her face. Kenzie closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

“You were my biggest addiction Rick Savage.” Her eyes sparkled as they met his.

“What….can…..what…..can we……”
“This is your chance to say goodbye.” She ran the tips of her fingers down his chest, across his stomach.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in the soft contour of her neck. Weaving her fingers through his curly locks, she leaned into him. They sat there, embracing, for what felt like a small eternity. Sav’s heart was beating desperately against his chest yet, he didn’t dare breath for fear he’d wake from what he was certain had to be a dream. Or was it?

“Rick….” She sighed.

His grip tightened. “Shh. No words. Not yet.” And he laid her back against the sheets. He slowly removed her clothes as he’d done hundreds of times before, then lay gazing at her beautiful body. She lay there, knowing just how to look at him, just how to make the fire burn out of control. And right now, it was raging.

He slipped between her thighs and captured her lips in a soul-searching kiss. And what he found was unlike anything he’d had before, anything he’d have again. Before he realized he was moving, he slid into her and felt the flames consumed them both.

Chapter – 60

Phil stared at the television as the tape ended. He wiped the tears from his eyes and stood to retrieve the tape.

“You know, I know someone that I’d bet would love to see that.” Anita spoke softly from the doorway. She was holding two cups of coffee, handing one off to Phil.

“Me too.” He sighed.

“Where’d you find it?”

“Buried in the tour videos.” He sipped his coffee. “It’s funny, I’d swear I’ve watched that tape before but I’ve never seen that part.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“How ‘bout you finish up and we’ll run it over to him?” She offered.

“Yeah. Just give me a bit.” He turned back to his task.

Sav lay with Kenzie cuddled in his arms. “I love you so much.” He whispered.

“And I will always love you.” She turned her face up to his.

“I wasn’t ready to loose you. We still ‘ad so much to share.”

“But think of everythin’ we did share.” She smiled.

“But it wasn’t enough.”

“You’re a wonderful man, Rick. Open up and live again.”

“I’ve lived.” He looked away.

“Not like you did when I was alive.”

“I can’t.” He looked down. “I couldn’t bear to live through that again.”

“You won’t.” She kissed his chest.

He groaned as he pulled her on top of him and pushed his way inside her again. This was all he had. This moment in time to have her again. And then…..and then…..then it was time to let her go. It was time to move on.

So, he made love to her with everything in him. Every ounce of love he’d had for her. Every bit of joy she’d ever brought him. And when they both were sated, he kissed her as if he’d never see her again.

Hours later, when he walked out of the bathroom, the room was quiet and filled with the faint aroma of sex…...his body drenched in sweat. Yet, his heart felt lighter than it had in decades. Kenzie would always be a part of his life, no doubt but he knew she could no longer be the only part.

“Goodbye, Mackenzie.” He softly whispered.

Chapter – 61

Later that evening, Sav and Paige were sitting in Taylor and Jayla’s living room after eating dinner.
”Gwanpa…..” Kenzie crawled up on Sav’s lap. “Daddy taught me to ride a bike today!”

“He did?” Sav smiled.

“Wanna see?”

“Maybe in a litt’l bit, Kenzie. Let grandpa relax for a minute.” Taylor jumped in.

There was something different about his dad tonight. Something almost peaceful. Had something happened? What could it be?

His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing doorbell. He stood up and walked to the door, opening it to find Phil and Anita.

“C’mon in.” He stepped back.

“How ya doin”?” Phil asked.

“Glad to be home.” Taylor smiled as Jayla walked out of the kitchen.

“Me too.” He sighed. “Is your dad ‘ere?”

“In the living room. Come on in and ‘ave a seat.”

“We’re not stayin’ long.” Anita smiled.

“We were just about to ‘ave desert. Why don’t you join us?” Jayla offered.

Taylor noticed Phil squirming. He knew that he still felt uneasy being around them after what had happened.

“I’ve got some Perrier in the fridge. Want one?” Taylor offered.

Phil caught the peace offering and happily accepted. “Sure.”

“Good.” He took a few steps toward the kitchen. “You know, Uncle Phil, it’s in the past. Let’s leave it there.” And turned around and continued on.

Phil smiled at Anita before Jayla led them into the living room.

“Look who stopped by.” Jayla announced.

“What are you guys out doin’?” Sav looked up.

“Yeah, your first day ‘ome and all.”

“We ‘ad somethin’ we needed to drop off.” Anita nudged Phil.

“Can I chat with you for a minute?” Phil asked Sav as Taylor handed him his water.

“Sure.” Sav sat Kenzie on Paige’s lap and followed Phil into the other room.

Once Phil was alone with Sav, he took a deep breath. He’d wanted to present the tape to Sav first considering the content and the cause of Taylor’s problems.

“Phil?” Sav raised his eyebrows.

“I was cleanin’ out some old videos this afternoon and ran across one……” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I think that Taylor would be interested in seein’ it.”

“Taylor?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “What’s on it?”

Phil walked over to the TV and inserted the tape into the VCR. Pressing play, he stepped back and waited for Sav to view the tape. No real emotion played across Sav’s face though his eyes never left the screen. When the tape finished, he simple walked from the room back to the others.

“Tay?”

“Yeah?” He looked up at his dad.

“C’mere.” He turned and walked back to where he’d left Phil.

Jayla looked to Anita then jumped up and followed Taylor. When they entered the room, Sav motioned them to sit. He handed Taylor the remote and motioned Phil to follow him back to the living room. Taylor gave Jayla a confused look.

“Press play.” She shrugged her shoulders.

Chapter – 62

Jayla gave a small gasp and clutched Taylor’s arm as the camera focused on Kenzie and a baby Taylor lying on a blanket in the middle of a park. She wondered if it was a good idea for him to watch something like this so shortly after his latest rehab. What if it upset him? But, Sav wouldn’t have left him to watch it if he’d thought that would happen. Would he?

“My litt’l man.” Kenzie beamed down at her son. “I thank God for you every day. You and your dad.” She sighed. “I know there will come a day when I ‘ave to tell you about some very dark times in my life. I was weak and afraid but I’ve found all the strength I need.” She tickled his tummy. “It’s you.” And she turned toward the camera. “I’ve not ‘ad much experience with love or a happy, stable family……I’ll mess up from time to time but I’ll do my very best for you.”

It was as though she were talking directly to him. Not the baby Taylor but the adult Taylor. His eyes filled with tears.

“You’re the best thing I’ve ever done and I know in my heart that you’re goin’ to make your father and I proud, no matter what you do.” Kenzie turned her head and looked over her shoulder before she continued. “There’s nothin’ more important than family, Tay. Well, mates run a close second. And I know you’ll ‘ave lots of them.” She looked back over her shoulder.

Taylor noticed his father walking down the hill toward them, carrying a bag.

“’Ere.” He dropped it on the blanket before lying down beside Kenzie.

Little Taylor couldn’t sit still any longer and began to run and play around them. He watched as his parents watched him on the tape. They looked so in love. He could see it in their faces. In their eyes.

Sav pulled Kenzie into his arms and kissed her.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She smiled. “And thank you.”

“For what?”

“Today.” She laughed as Taylor jumped on top of Sav, falling on the blanket between them.

Sav tickled him for a moment before he jumped up and ran off to play some more.

They again watched him play before Sav turned to Kenzie.

“Let’s ‘ave another one.”

“What?” She nervously laughed.

“Another baby.” His eyes sparkled.

“Rick…..” Her eyes diverted to the ground and Taylor noticed a familiar look about her eyes. A look he himself had seen on his own face before.

“Kenz.” Sav gently lifted her chin with his finger. “You’re a wonderful mother and I want to ‘ave more children with you.”

That beautiful smile formed across her face then. So, his dad truly was a source of comfort for her.

“Mummy.” Little Taylor held out some dandelions for her. And as she took them, she kissed his cheek and beamed. She acted as though they were the most expensive, beautiful flowers she had ever seen.

“They’re lovely.” She told him then turned to Sav. “He ‘as your charm.”

Sav’s head fell back and he roared with laughter.

“Are you ready to go ‘ome?” He asked.

“Why? I ‘ave all I need right ‘ere.” She pulled Taylor between them, kissing his cheek and then turned to kiss Sav. “My boys.” And the tape went fuzzy.

Jayla looked down and noticed the tears spilling down Taylor’s cheeks.

“TK?” She asked hesitantly.

“Did you see it?” He whispered. “Did you feel it?”

“Feel what?”

“It felt like she was sitting ‘ere talkin’ to me. The adult me.” He turned to look at her. “And the scenes with dad, their eyes. God, Jay, they were so in love.”

“Yes, they were.” She smiled. She knew he’s worried over that before.

“I wanna talk to dad.” He stood, wiping the tears away.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m….fine.” He smiled, kissing her forehead.

Chapter –63

Taylor found Sav outside on the deck smoking a cigarette.

“You were supposed to quit.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sav turned and put it out. He knew his son would come to find him.

“Thank you.”
“You can thank Phil.”

Taylor shook his head as he thought over the tape again. It had answered so many questions for him regarding his mother and the relationship between his parents.

“Is that ‘ow she always was?”

“Yeah. That insecure side still popped out now and again but she tried.”

“You know, I’d wondered a lot about ‘er feelin’s for you. If she truly loved you the way you all made it sound or if she just felt trapped.” He sighed and turned to face his dad. “The love……it just seemed to radiate between you two.”

Sav smiled. It had. It always felt, to him at least, as if the air was charged around them when they were close.

“I think the only thing we loved more than each other was you.”

Taylor nodded his head, his mind going over the part where his dad had told her he wanted more children.

“’Ad she not died, do you think she would ‘ave agreed to more children?”

“She would’ve……she did.” He rubbed his face. “Your mum was just a few weeks pregnant when she died.”

“What?”

Sav nodded his head. “I’ve never told another living soul that. The doctor told me and said it was so early that she probably hadn’t known her self for sure.”

“Dear God.”

“I love you, Tay. And I’ll die fighting to protect you because I know she would ‘ave done no less.”

“I love you, too, dad.” He grabbed him in a fierce hug.

Chapter –64

Phil watched them through the glass door, not wanting to interrupt them. What had Taylor’s reaction to the tape been? Lost in his own thought, he didn’t notice they’d both turned to face him.

“Sorry…” He cracked the door open. “I just wanted to let you both know that Anita and I are goin’ to go.”

“I thought you were stayin’ for dessert?” Taylor spoke up as Sav collected himself.

“Well……”

“C’mon, Phil. Joe and Nat are joinin’ us shortly. You guys need to stay.” Sav piped in. “Just family.”

Family. Yeah, that they were. The idea sounded nice. And it also sounded scary. Both of them were acting fine but he had yet to see either of their reactions to the tape. Was that good or bad?

“Could I ‘ave a minute alone with Phil, dad?”

“Sure.” Sav started to walk inside. He stopped when he reached Phil, placing his hand on his shoulder. “Thanks.” He met his eyes. “I don’t think I ever told you that the last time. I am now.”

Phil choked back the tears. The words warmed him in a way he hadn’t expected. He didn’t know what to say. Sav nodded his head and walked inside. He needed to find Paige.

Taylor waited till the door closed and he took a deep breath.

“Thank you from me too.” Taylor spoke softly. “You’ve given me somethin’ I’ve been lookin’ for for a long time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He crammed his hands in his pockets.

They were both quiet for a minute.

“I needed it. It answered questions I’d ‘ad rollin’ around my mind for years.”

“You’re mum was a wonderful woman, Tay. She loved you and your dad more than anythin’ in this world.”

“I know that.” He met his eyes.

“That’s good.” Phil smiled contently. He now knew why he’d remained behind. Not that it mattered as much anymore but still…..he knew. He’d been meant to find that tape. To give it to Taylor and give him this peace of mind he now had.

Chapter – 65

Sav found Paige alone in the kitchen, cutting the pie that had been cooling on the counter.

“Have I told you lately that I love you?” He wrapped his arms around her.

“Not lately.” She smiled gently, knowing his mind had been on other things.

“I do.” He rubbed his hands up and down her back. “You’ve been so wonderful and understanding over the last ten years…..I don’t deserve you.”

“But, I love you.” She hugged him tighter, not sure where this was coming from.

“You’ve been a blessin’ to me and Taylor.”

He held her silently for a few moments, letting his mind catch up with his heart. He’d made a decision a long time ago but is that still how he felt? Didn’t this woman deserve better than that?

“Remember I told you a long time ago that I’d never marry again?”

“Yes.” Paige answered shakily. Where was this coming from and what was he doing?

“Well……I know we’re not in the prime of our youth, or even close for that matter…..”

“Rick,….what are sayin?” She looked up into his eyes.

“Paige…..I want you to marry me.”

“Oh, Rick.” She choked back tears. “Yes!”

Taylor stood off the doorway and watched as his father and Paige kissed. Whatever had happened to him, his father seemed to have finally let go of the past as well.

“What are you doin’?” Jayla walked up beside him.

“Dad just asked Paige to marry ‘im.”

“Really?” Jayla tensed. It was good news to her but how did Taylor feel. “Are you ok with that?”

“Me?” He shook his head. “It’s about bloody time if you ask me.” He smiled.

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