"You 'appy? The dad was on there three times." Phil looked down to see that Kenz was asleep. He turned the television off, threw the remote onto the nightstand, wrapped his arms around her, and went to sleep.  Kenzie was busy dreaming. She moaned and turned into Phil's chest. He kissed her cheek and again drifted off.

"Tell me, Kenz. Truthfully. What do you think of all this?" Steve sat in the passenger seat of a white Corvette convertible as she drove.
"I honestly don't know what to think, Steamin'." She sighed as she relaxed and let the wind blow through her hair.
"What are all the qualities in our Philly that you admire?"
She smiled as she pulled onto a cliff, stopped the engine, and looked out at the ocean. "I think he understands me better than you sometimes, Steve. He's the one person on this entire Earth that knows me. I mean, with you I had understanding. When I had a problem, you tried to help me take the pain away."
"And Phyllis?"
"He talks me through it. Ensures me that he'll always be there for me. The one thing I always loved about you two is that no matter how bad I screwed up, or what I did, you never judged me. Phil has never judged me."
"And Sav has."
"He took away my son." She looked away. "And if he does it once, he'll do it again."
"He still can, Kenz. He's Taylor's father."
"But… I know that if I'm with Phil, it won't come to that." She sighed.
"God, I can't believe I've been so fucking blind not to see it all these years. He's been more of a boyfriend or husband than Sav ever was to me. And we weren't even together."  They both looked out over the ocean as a shooting star flew by.
"Thanks, Steve." She looked over to see that he was gone.

Sav woke up the next morning and looked around. He thought back to the events of the previous night and shook his head. He needed to talk to Kenz, and it couldn't wait. He took a quick shower and then walked down to Mal's room.
"I need your copy of Kenzie's key." He nodded.
"Why?"
"I need to talk to her."
"Then call her and meet somewhere. Better yet, knock on the door and see if she answers."
"Please, Mal. I can go in and get Taylor for breakfast, right?"
He sighed and shook his head. "Don't start any shit! I'd hate to 'ave to let 'er out of that contract for somethin' you did!" He handed him the key.

He walked in to see Kenz and Phil in bed together. They both seemed to be dressed, but they looked awful cozy. He looked around the room and noticed that Taylor wasn't there. He then cleared his throat.
"Mmm." Phil was the first to wake.
"Please tell me it's too early." Kenz moaned as she snuggled closer to him.
"Um… I'm thinkin' we may be late." He sat up and looked at Sav. "Mornin'."
"Mornin'." Sav huffed.
"Huh?" Kenz opened her eyes. "What are you doin' here?"
"I came to get the baby for breakfast." He looked between the two.
"He's in Nancy's room. We went out last night, remember?" She yawned and rubbed her eyes.
"How are you feelin', by the way?" Phil smiled.
"Been better." He couldn't believe that they were being so non-challante about being caught together.
"I'll leave you two alone, then." He stood to reveal his shorts and t-shirt.
"You need a lift to the airport?" He turned to Kenz.
"Nah, Tay and I can handle it." She smiled as he walked out to his room.
"What the hell was that?" Sav asked.
"Huh?" She looked up. "I didn't want to be alone last night, so Philly stayed with me."
"Un, huh."
"I've been in the same bed as all of the guys at one time or another, Rick."
She blew it off. "What did you want?"
"I wanted to talk."
"About?"
"Us."
"There is no us anymore." She stood to get a glass of water.
"Look, I'm sorry for what I did, Kenz. I over reacted, okay? Was it so bad that I can't be forgiven?"
She ran her hands through her hair and sighed as she sat in the chair in the corner of the room. "Do you have any idea how much I've analyzed this?"
"Not a clue." He sat on the bed.
"I think I've done more soul searching this past month that I did the entire time I was in rehab. And that was a lot."
"What about?"
She pulled her knees up to her chest. "Have you ever noticed the cycle that our relationship has always been on?"
"Just that we've been on and off for a long time now."
"Well, break it down. We get together, everything's perfect for a while, then something changes. You focus on something else for a brief minute and I get spooked. Then, I let every little thing that's going on in my head blow way out of proportion and we either split, or I relapse."
"And why do you think that happens?" He raised his eyebrows.
"Because I use all of my energy when I'm with you trying to be who you want me to be. I have never been able to truly be myself around you."
"That's shit, Kenz."
"Is it?" She looked him straight in the eye. "If I were to confide in you and tell you that I need a hit so bad I can hardly function, what would you do?"
His eyes widened. "I'd put your ass back in rehab!" He huffed.
"So that's your solution to me learning to fight it? Every time I have a difficult time in my life from here on out I should run and hide?"
"Kenz, by the time you tell me anything it's usually too late. That has to be my solution."
"How can I completely give myself to you if you don't trust me?"
"You already did. You're my wife."
She tightened her arms around her legs and looked at the floor. "I love you.  I always will. But I have to do this. I can't keep living in this cycle. And I think we both owe it to Taylor to stop it."
"Can't we just give it another go? I can't give up on our marriage this quickly. I won't."
Her hands began to shake as she stared at them. "Please don't make it any harder than it is."
He stood and began to pace around the room. His mind drifted back to when he walked into the room. He stopped and turned to her. "How would Phil 'ave handled the situation?"
"You mean, how did he handle it?" She wiped under her eyes. "He made me talk about everything that was bothering me. He asked that I be brutally honest.  He didn't like some of the things I said, but he listened and was there for me. And in the end, he didn't judge me."
"And I suppose you love him now, right?"
She had to laugh. "I've always loved Phil, Rick. He's one of my boys. He's closer to me than Nat, and that's pretty damn close."
"I deserve another chance, Kenz."
"You gave up on me!" She angered. "What if I had been off the Narcon? I wouldn't have gotten sick. You just would have thought that I was coked up.  And you would have done the same damn thing, wouldn't you?"
"Kenz…"
"And what if Rory didn't confess? You'd be standing here today, still believing that I had relapsed." He threw his head back and breathed into the ceiling. "Why don't you think about that for a while, huh? There was only one person that ran out the door after me that night, and it wasn't you!"
"How can I make you believe that I'd give anything to take it all back?"
"If we could go back in time, you'd still have done the same thing! Admit it!"
"Probably!"
"I can't live like that, Rick. Not knowing when it's gonna happen again.  Because it will."
"Fine." He sighed. "You've given up and there's no changin' your mind!" He stormed out of the room.
"Fuck!" She yelled with her hands over her face.

Phil stuck his head into her room before they left for an interview. "How'd it go?" He watched as Kenz changed Taylor's diaper.
"Disaster." She sighed.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Not really."
"C'mon, Kenz. You'll feel better."
"Phil…" She turned to him. "Just back off, okay?"
He noticed it again. That look was returning. God, not again. "Don't push me away, love."
"I don't want to talk about it with you!" She rested her hands on her hips. "Why can't you just leave it at that?" She turned to catch Taylor as he crawled off the bed.
"Because I know you. You need to talk about it."
"Just… go. I'll be at the show tonight."
"Mackenzie, don't push me away!" He angered.
"Go!" She yelled as she grabbed the diaper bag and walked out.
"Damn it, don't do this!" He yelled after her.
"Just leave it be, Phil! Damn!" She walked onto the elevator.
"Shit!" He slammed his fist against the wall as everyone peeked out of their rooms.
"Blondes fighting?" Vivian looked at Rick.
"This can't be good." Rick looked at Joe.
"We leavin' or what?" Phil looked around.
Sav shook his head as he walked out of his room. "C'mon."
 
 

"Hey, Dad." She hugged her father as he stepped onto the concourse.
"Hey!" He kissed her cheek and took Taylor from her.
"Has his priorities straight!" Alex followed with a hug to Kenz.
"That's all that matters, right?" She laughed.
Roger then turned to look at Kenz. Her eyes were dark. As if she were hiding. "What is it?" He turned serious.
"Everything, Dad." She sighed.
"Let's go eat, then. You can fill me in."

They went to a bistro and sipped on wine while allowing Kenz to vent.
"So Phil finally spoke up, eh?" He chuckled.
"You knew all along, didn't you?" She crossed her arms. "That's why you were so happy to see me with Russ at Joe and Nat's wedding."
"I just think that Mr. Savage is another one of your addictions, dear. Take away the sex, and you probably wouldn't be with him."
"Rog!" Alex smacked his arm. "Don't be so blunt!"
"It's okay." Kenz smiled at her. "Kinda runs in the family."
"The reason no one has said anything until now is that you seem happy and content when you're together and that's what we want."
"But there have been so many times that we've not been together."
"Because you're high maintenance, Kenz. And Sav is too. Bad combination, love."
"I suppose." She sank in her seat. "Mind if Nat and I go out tonight?"
"Not at all." Alex grinned at Taylor.

After the radio interview, Joe pulled Phil aside. "What are the plans for tomorrow?"
"I don't know, mate." He sighed.
"Party?" Rick asked. "Pub crawl?"
"It 'asn't been discussed." He looked away.
"C'mon, Phil. It's Steve's birthday. You and Kenz…" Sav began.
"Look, I don't give a flyin' fuck what Kenz's plans are at the moment! Why don't you call and find out for yourself!" He stormed out to the waiting limo.
Everyone stood quietly for a moment. "C'mon!" Mal pushed them on.

After a few shots and many beers, Kenz and Nat were having a blast. It had been a very long time since it was just the two of them, out for the evening. A girls night out.
"How do I manage to get myself into these situations?" Kenz looked at Nat.
"It follows you, that's for sure." She laughed.
"Gee, thanks." She smiled. "So you won't mind havin' to hear about me and Phil all the time?"
"Nah. I'm used to it." She winked at her.

"Another round?" Vivian looked around the table.
"Why the hell not?" Phil held up his empty glass.
"What's up with you t'night?" Sav laughed as Phil belched out loud.
"Just needed to get out, ya know?" He nodded.
"I think we need to get laid." Rick pointed to a table full of girls.
"Sounds like a right jolly ide er to me, mate." He laughed as the men staggered over to the table.
Joe walked back from the restroom. "Where's Phil?" He looked around.
"He and Rick are gettin' some." Sav laughed as he pointed to them.
"Must be wasted." He chuckled.
"Let's ditch 'em before they do somethin' stupid and blame us." Vivian laughed.
"C'mon!" Joe led the way.

Joe and Sav were stepping out of the cab just as Kenz and Nat were walking up to the hotel.
"Hiee!" Kenz waved.
"Well!" Joe chuckled as he wrapped his arms around his wife. "Looks like you two had fun!"
"A blast!" Nat giggled.
"So your alcohol abstinence is over?" Sav smiled at Kenz.
"That would explain the buzz!" She giggled.
"Smart ass!" He pushed her toward the door.
They talked and laughed as they rode the elevator up to their floor. Sav walked Kenz to her room and stopped. He turned to her and stepped closer.
"Hey, Ken…" Nat turned around just as Sav kissed her. Joe looked over his shoulder and shook his head. Kenz didn't appear to be putting up much of a struggle.
"What are they doin'?" Nat's face reddened.
"What they always do, dear." He pulled her to their room.
"But… What about Phil?" She looked up at him.
"He's not alone t'night, trust me." He raised his eyebrows.

Phil staggered down the street with his arm around a pretty brunette. They walked up to an apartment building and she searched for her keys.
"What's the hold-up?" He kissed the back of her neck as he reached up her skirt.
"Slow down, blondie." She giggled.
"What if I don't wanna?" He whispered into her ear.
"Maybe you won't have to." She pulled him through the door.

"Mmm." Kenz wrapped her arms around Sav's neck.
"God, I want you." He whispered as he kissed her neck.
"I can't." She closed her eyes as he kissed her.
"Please, Kenzie." He growled as he pushed his hips into hers.
"Not here." She gasped for air as he moved his hand up her shirt.
"Fine." He smiled. "My room, then."

Phil sat up in the bed and looked down at the strange woman sleeping next to him. He swung his legs over the edge and placed his face in his hands. What the hell was he doing? There was only one woman he wanted to be with. They had been getting so close, what happened?  He shook his head, dressed and walked out to the living room. There, he found a bottle of vodka. It had been a very long time since he drowned his sorrows about anything. But tonight seemed like as good a time as any. He took a long chug from the bottle and then left.

Kenz carefully slipped out of Sav's arms and sat on the edge of the bed.  What the hell was she doing? Her father was right. She was addicted to Rick Savage just like everything else in her life. She knew she should have said no, but here she was. With Sav. Instead of the man she had been thinking about all night.  Her stomach began to twinge as she reached for her clothes. It was a much sharper pain than she had felt in the past. She quickly dressed and walked out of the room.

Phil had just stepped off of the elevator when Kenz turned the corner to her room. They stopped and looked at one another for a long while. He sighed and staggered to his room.
"You okay?" She whispered as he struggled to open his door.
"Just bloody dandy." He huffed as he dropped his card key.
"You don't look dandy." She picked the card up and opened the door for him.
"An' you 'ave fuck hair." He pushed past her and walked into his room.
She sighed and closed his door before walking into her room.
He fell across his bed and passed out.

He awoke an hour later to the sounds of… crying. He blinked his eyes as he heard Kenz from the next room. The bathroom echoed with sounds of her retching, followed by coughing and crying. He quickly looked around the room for his copy of her key, and then rushed over.
"Kenzie!" He walked in and looked around the room. The bathroom door was closed, so he tried the knob. It was locked. "Kenzie! Open up!" He knocked loudly.
"Go away!" She screeched before flushing the toilet.
"I'm not goin' anywhere!" He waited.
"Please, Phil." She cried. "Just go."
"I won't." He leaned against the door. "I love you, Kenz. I'm not goin' anywhere."
She leaned her head against the door and sobbed. "I love you too."
"Then open the door, baby. Please." He wiped the tears from his eyes.  When she opened the door, she was pale and weak. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hair. He then noticed the towel on the counter that had blood smeared across it.
"C'mon, you need a doctor."

Everyone met the next morning for breakfast. Mal casually took a headcount as he walked into the restaurant and joined them.
"Missin' three?" He read over his planner.
"Two." Rick walked in with a sleepy smile on his face.
"Where's Phil?" Joe frowned.
"Lost track of him at the bar." He sat down and quickly sipped on a glass of water.
Roger and Alex walked in carrying Taylor.
"There's my boy!" Sav held out his arms. "Where's Kenz?"
"Isn't she here?" Alex looked around the table. "She didn't answer her door this morning."
Joe turned to Sav.
"She was gone when I woke up." He shrugged his shoulders.
"Huh?" The rest of the band looked at him.
He rolled his eyes and returned to his food.
Joe quickly pulled his cell phone out and dialed Phil's number. "They'd better not be pub crawlin' this early!"
"Yeah?" He spoke gruffly.
"Kinda late, aren't cha?" He waited.
"Kenzie got sick last night. She's seein' a doctor."
"Sick? What do you mean?" His eyes widened as he looked at Sav.
He sighed. "She's been hidin' from everyone that she 'as a really bad ulcer.  I knew she'd been 'avin' problems, but last night… she was tossin' up blood, Joe." He sounded tired and worried.
He closed his eyes and rubbed his face. "Why didn't you call, Phil?"
"I honestly didn't think about it. All I care about is her bein' okay right now."
"Okay, okay." He sighed. "Where are you?"
"Shit, Joe. I don't know. I was completely wasted when I brought her 'ere."
"We'll figure it out, then." He hung up and looked at Roger. "Looks like we're cancellin' the interviews today."
"Huh?" Mal's head whipped around.
"Kenzie's in hospital. Apparently she 'as a bleedin' ulcer that she's been hidin' and Phil took her in last night."
"Jesus Christ!" Sav stood to his feet. "Why the hell…"
"Don't start!" Nat pointed at him. "Let's just go and be there for her. Like we should have been the last time!" She grabbed her purse and walked out.
"We'll take Taylor, but please let us know what's goin' on?" Roger took him from Sav.
"Oh course." He nodded.

Natalie peeked into Kenz's hospital room and looked around. She was asleep with IV's in both arms and Phil was asleep beside her with his head on the bed and his fingers tightly wrapped around hers. She turned around and looked at Sav. "Don't be an ass." She spat before walking in.
"Not much room around 'ere, is there?" Joe looked around.
Phil's head whipped up as he looked around the room.
"It's just us." Sav nodded at him.
"We're waitin' on them to come and get 'er for surgery." He rubbed his face.
"How long has this been goin' on?" Nat patted his shoulder.
"Since the last time she was sick." He sat back in his chair. "The doctor thinks it's from a combination of the coke, the beer, and the tube they used to pump her stomach, as well as the stress she's been under and the alcohol she consumed last night."
She began to cough as she woke up. She opened her eyes to see everyone watching her carefully. "Good morning." Her voice was rough and strained.
"You okay?" Nat gave her a hug.
"Oh, been better." She tried to smile.
"You need a holiday." Joe kissed her cheek.
"Kinda hard seein' that you're tourin' and all." Tears filled her eyes as another pain ripped through her. "Ow! I need the nurse!"
Phil shot out down the hall. A few minutes later, a nurse appeared and shot medication into her IV.
"There's ya go. That'll help a bit." She patted her hand.
"Thank you." She wiped under her eyes.

Sav paced throughout her surgery. The more he paced, the angrier he became.  The redder his face, the angrier Phil became.
"I can't believe she's goin' through all of this because of Rory!" He crossed his arms.
"Oh, and what about the stress you've caused her?" Phil shot back.
"Me? You're the one that shagged her lit'le sister!"
"You wanted her too, admit it!"
"Guys!" Joe stepped between the two of them. "This won't help a bit."
They each turned their separate ways to pace for a bit. Finally, Sav spoke up. "It won't take much for me to get 'er back, ya know."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Phil huffed.
"Where do you think she was last night?" He smirked.
"I don't think you wanna know where she told me she was, that's for sure." He pointed at him.
"Damn it, fellas!" Joe again tried to intervene.
"No, I wanna hear what Savage thinks happened last night!" Phil yelled.
"'Cause she told me it was a meaningless fuck with the ex!"
"Piss off!" He lunged at him.
"Stop it!" Joe yelled. "God damn it, stop it!"
Nat walked in with a tray of coffee and looked around. "What the fuck's goin' on?"
They all straightened up and sat down. "Nothin'!" They huffed.  Finally, two hours later, the doctor emerged.
"Everything went well. Mackenzie is definitely a trooper."
"She is." Phil sighed.
"I do want to warn you, though. It's a very deep wound. She'll probably 'ave repercussions for the rest of her life."
"What do you mean?"
"She'll be on a strict diet, so as not to disturb the ulcer, no drinking, no smoking, and she'll be on medication to keep the acid in her stomach down."
"No drinking?" Joe and Nat repeated.
"That'll kill 'er." Joe whispered.
"No doubt." Sav huffed.
"Pipe down." Phil scolded them as she continued to speak to the doctor.
"Other than that, how is she?"
"Stable. I'd like to keep her for a few more days to make sure nothin' else sneaks up on us."
"Is there any way I can bring her son to visit? He hasn't seen his Mum since yesterday mornin'."
"How old is he?"
"A lit'le over a year."
"I'll see what I can do." He patted his shoulder. "You can see her in about an hour or so."
"Thank you." He watched him walk away.

Kenz woke up to see three sets of eyes looking down at her. She couldn't help but smile.
"How ya feelin'?" Joe kissed her forehead.
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She flinched as she swallowed and then pointed to her neck.
"I'll get the doc." Phil ran out.
"They put a scope down your throat to do surgery." Sav explained as he stroked her forehead. "Your poor throat's probably shot."
She nodded her head.
The doctor walked in and looked into her mouth. "Well, m'dear. You now 'ave a ragin' throat infection. I'll add another antibiotic to your IV."
She rolled her eyes and looked at Phil.
"I guess this is what you get for not tellin' us you were sick?" Joe tried to lighten her mood.
She flipped him off as Sav and Phil laughed.
"She doesn't feel too bad." Phil patted her hand.
She took Phil's hand and pulled him down to whisper in his ear. "Thanks for takin' care of me, again." He looked back and rubbed her cheek.
"It's my job, remember?" He ran his fingers through her hair.  She held his hand and smiled.

Sav walked in a few days later with a huge smile on his face. Kenz looked up from her chicken broth and Jell-O and made a face. "This completely sucks."
Her voice was better, but extremely hoarse.
"You'll be backin a few days." He kissed her cheek.
"And still eating this shit." She huffed as she threw her spoon onto the tray. "What's the cheesy grin?"
"I've got a surprise for you."
"What's that?"
He looked up at the door. Her eyes followed his to see Roger holding Taylor.
"My boy!" Tears filled her eyes as she held her arms out.
"Ma ma!" He squealed.

She spent the entire afternoon with Taylor until he fell asleep.
"You'd better take him to the hotel." She yawned. "He might scream if you have to pull him away."
"You're right." Sav sighed. "I'll be back tomorrow morning, got it?"
"Got it." She smiled as he kissed her hand.
"Take care, love." Roger kissed her forehead. "It'll all be over soon."
"I know." She held his hand.
 
 

It took Kenz a few days to get back to her old self, but when she did there was no stopping her. She was there at every concert, every shoot, and every interview to capture the guys at their best… and worst. She walked into the green room before a concert one night and pulled Sav aside.
"Can you do me a favor tonight?"
"What's that?" He smiled.
"Can you watch Taylor so I can take Phil out?"
"Where're you goin'?" His smile quickly vanished.
"Just… dinner and stuff." She picked at her fingernails.
"So that's it then? You're together now?"
"Rick, our divorce is final in less than two months. I think it's time we both moved on."
He shook his head and sighed. "Fine, Kenz. I'll watch him."
"Thanks." She kissed his cheek and walked out.

That night, after the show, Kenz waited for Phil. Nat noticed her nervousness and had a laugh. "What's goin' on with you?"
"I've never been this nervous before in my life!" She laughed.
"Why, Kenzie?" She watched her.  She took a deep breath and then whispered into her ear.
"Oh my God!" She squealed. "Good luck!"
"What?" Phil walked out and looked between the two of them.
"I'm stealing you away tonight." Kenz smiled at him.
"Lead the way." He winked at Nat.

They pulled up to a bed and breakfast. Phil had been told to close his eyes the entire way there. She led him into their room and then stopped. She took a deep breath waited.
"Kenz?"
"I'm still here." She looked around nervously, making sure everything had been set up. Candles… flowers… she then ran to the bathroom and changed into the black nightgown that she had dropped off earlier. She looked into the mirror. "Here we go." She returned to the bedroom.
"I'm about ready to peek!" He huffed.
"Not necessary." She giggled. "Open your eyes."
He did just that and looked around the candle lit room. He was speechless as his eyes fell to the tiny nightgown she had on.
"I wanted to do this after the tour was over, and we weren't around everyone else, but I couldn't wait." She slowly walked over to him.
"Do what?" He whispered.
"Show you how much I love you." She reached up to kiss him.
He caught her lips and laced his fingers through her hair. God, he had waited an eternity to do this. He was not going to screw it up. Not ever.  Kenzie was finally his and he didn't have Steve or Sav to contend with anymore. She was his.
 

The tour was soon over and they all headed back to Dublin. Sav walked down the stairs with a box to see Kenz sitting at the kitchen table with papers scattered everywhere. He sighed as he joined her.
"You sure about this?" He sat across from her.
"I've never been more sure in my life, Rick." She looked him in the eyes.
He shook his head and sighed before signing the papers. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "I think we should celebrate."
"How?" He laughed.
"Let's take Taylor out for pizza."
"You can't eat pizza, remember?" He glared at her.
"I can, I'll just need to down some Maalox afterwards."
"Good, Phil can listen to ya bitch all night, then." He chuckled.
 
 

The field was full of kids kicking around the soccer ball as Joe and Sav stood on the sidelines watching their team practice. Nat sat on the bleachers with ten year old Jasmine while waiting for Kenz to arrive.
"Sorry we're late." Phil walked up with eight year old Jordyn.
"Where's Kenz?" Nat looked over her sunglasses.
"She'll be 'ere shortly." He smiled.
"Cool." She looked up as 10 year old Cameron joined them. "Cammy, you want a peanut butter sandwhich?"
"Yes!" He ran to his Aunt Nat.
Nat looked off in the distance to see Kenz in a heated discussion with her 13-year-old daughter, Morgan. Phil watched them for a moment and then rolled his eyes. "They're just too much alike." He sighed.
"Tell me about it." She sighed. "That's the problem Joe's havin' with Jayla right now."
Phil began to laugh. "Poor kid."

"C'mon, in!" Sav hollered at the team. The kids huddled around the guys and listened as they planned out the strategy of the game.
"Jayla, cover Sean and Taylor can cover Austin." Sav looked around.
"Cool." The broke.

The game was a nightmare. The Rockers barely won the game.
"Good shot, Jay!" Natalie jumped up and down like a wild woman.
"Here we go." Kenz smiled at Phil.
The referee called a fowl on Taylor.
"What? He didn't touch him!"
"Nat." Kenz grabbed her belt and sat her down. "He kicked the boy's ankle."
"So? It wasn't that noticeable!" She spat.
Jayla was red carded just as the game ended.
"That was bull shit!" Nat jumped up.
"The games over, babe!" Joe smiled up at her.
"I don't care!" She huffed as Kenz and Phil chuckled.
"Good game, Tay." Sav wrapped his arm around his son's shoulders.
"Thank Jayla." Taylor gave her a high five. "She plays like her dad."
"Thanks!" Jayla smiled.
"Just be thankful she's on your team then." Kenz laughed. They walked off to the car and put their stuff in the trunk. Then it was off to Joe and Nat's for pizza.

Kenz picked at her salad and watched as the others ate pizza. Phil looked up and smiled at her. "You'll be up all night if you have so much as a bite."
"Might as well eat a whole piece then, huh?" She grabbed a slice from his plate.
"It's your stomach." He laughed.

Taylor kept watch as Jayla and Morgan snuck down to the studio. He took one more look around and then headed down himself.
"Yes!" Taylor took the beer from his sister. "Good girl."
"I know." She giggled.
He held his beer in the air. "Here's to an extremely kick-ass game, thanks to Jayla."
"Cheers." They tipped their heads back.

"Where's Tay?" Kenz looked over the car as she strapped Jordyn in.
"I sent Cam in, but they 'aven't come back yet." Phil looked around.
"Why don't you go in." She flinched as she grabbed her chest. "I need to get home."
"Told you." He huffed as he walked back into the house. "Cam? Tay?" He looked around.
"Daddy!" Cameron ran to him.
"Did you find your brother?"
"Nope." He shrugged his shoulders.
"Well thanks for lookin'." He tousled his hair. "Go on out to the car with your Mum and Jordyn."
"K!" He ran out the door.
"At least I know where two of the kids are." He mumbled as he walked through the house. "Sav, you seen Taylor?"
"Not lately." He stood while holding his four-year-old son. "I'll help look, though."

In the mean time, Joe had begun to search for his oldest daughter. "Jay? You down 'ere?" He walked down the stairs.  The kids quickly threw the bottles in the trash can.
"What are you three doin' down 'ere?" He crossed his arms.
"Eating pizza." Jayla smiled. "Kickin' back. Shootin' the shite."
"Un, huh." He leaned over Taylor and took a deep breath. "Your parents'll skull you if they catch beer on your breath, ya know."
"You can smell it?" He sniffed.
"Oh, yeah." He laughed as he patted him on the back. "And drunk too! Let's go!" He pushed him up the stairs.
"Hey! Your Mum  an' Phil need to…" Sav sniffed the air. "You've been drinkin'."
"So? You do sometimes."
"I'm also legal." He grabbed the back of his neck. "Let's go."
"Don't forget this one!" Joe pushed Morgan toward them.
"Night, Joe." Sav huffed.
"You're not gonna tell Mum, are ya?" Taylor asked as they slowly walked to the car.
"Nope. You are." He stopped at the car. "Now get your arse in there and keep your mouth shut."
He slammed the door and then turned to Phil, who walked up behind them.
"What's going on?" Phil looked between them.
 Sav whispered to him for a while. Phil chuckled, patted his shoulder, and then climbed into the car.
"What's goin' on?" Kenz watched him.
"Would ya like to fill your Mum in, Taylor?" Phil looked in the rearview mirror. "Morgan?"
She looked over the back seat and watched them.
"It's no bloody big deal." Morgan slurred.
"You're drunk!" Kenz's eyes widened.
"Just because you're afraid to loosen up and 'ave a few doesn't mean I can't." She waved her hand around.  Kenz turned to face the front of the car. She then looked at Phil. Her face was bright red. "We'll discuss this tomorrow." She finally spoke as they pulled into the house.
"Really? That's it?" Taylor looked up into the rearview mirror and smiled at his step-Dad.
"You've got a lot to learn about pissin' your Mum off, son." He grinned as he opened the car door.

Phil sat in bed and waited as Kenz put their two youngest children to bed.  He knew this would be an all nighter. He knew she'd be upset. He knew what was coming.  She walked in and paced the floor. "What are we gonna do?"
"What can we do? They can sneak it, or they can learn what moderation is."
"Or they can do both. See, I know that." She continued to pace. "We have to tell them."
"I agree." Phil sat on the bed and watched Kenz pace back and forth.
"I can't do this, Phil." She sat next to him and drank from her glass of water.
"We have to tell the kids everything, Kenz. We owe it to them."
"How do I do that, though? All they've heard from us the last fifteen years is how happy and wonderful life was for us and that I don't drink." She finished off her water. "I can't exactly say, 'Oh yeah. I'm an addict, too.!" She sighed.
"Deep breaths, love." He patted her back. "I think you're more worried about Morgan than Taylor, though. And if you don't tell her, she'll find out. And I guarantee you'll wish that you would have told her."
"I know, I know." She stared at the wall. "She acts so much like me sometimes… I swear it's like reliving my teenaged years all over again."
"I have no doubt about that." He smiled. "Oh, and Sav and Paige wants to 'ave us all over next weekend for dinner."
"Can't next weekend. Dad and Alex are in for a holiday."
"We can bring them too, right?"
"I suppose." She kissed him and leaned into his chest. "Thanks, Philly."
"No problem." He rubbed her arm. "So what happens tomorrow?"
"We punish them for tonight… No." She stopped. "Punishment isn't good enough. They'll hate us for it."
"Then what?"
"We make them suffer." She smiled.
"And we all know you're the master at that." He chuckled. "Okay!" He rubbed his hands together. "Now get naked and into bed!"
"Yes, dear." She sighed.

Taylor woke up to the pounding of the door the next morning. "C'mon, party boy! Rise and shine!" Kenz yelled. She then walked to Morgan's room and did the same.
"Mum!" She covered her head with her pillow. "It's Sunday! We don't 'ave school."
"Nope, you have chores!" She went through her dresser and gathered her clothes. "C'mon! I've made eggs and bacon for ya!"
"Ew." She held her head. "I don't feel well."
"You play, you pay Morgan!" She threw her shoes at her. She then returned to Taylor's room. "Move it, Beer Man! C'mon!"

Phil laid in bed and laughed. He looked over at the alarm clock to see that it was only 6:00 AM. "Poor kids." He rolled over to go back to sleep.

She pulled his pillow away and threw it across the room. She then opened the blinds wide open. "The yard needs cut, I have a few shrubs that need trimmed, the dishes are piling up, and we need a baby sitter tonight."
"Mum!" He whined.
"If you're not dressed and ready to go in five minutes, I'm sending your brother and the dog in here."
"Fine!" He sat up.
"Good." She smiled and walked back to their room.
Phil was still in bed. A smile rose to her lips as she sat beside him. "Oh Philly." She sang as she ran her finger down his arm.
"Didn't get enough last night?" He smiled as he rolled over to face her.
"Not exactly." She batted her eyes. "Seems as though Tay and Morgan have volunteered to cut the grass today. Could you call the landscapers and cancel and then help them?"
"Huh?" His eyes widened. "Do I have to?"
"Uh… yeah. Do you not remember the last time they helped? We had to plant new shrubs." She smiled. "I've made breakfast."
"Fine." He huffed as he sat up.

Three hours later, Taylor walked in, his ass dragging behind him. Morgan followed with a scowl on her face. Phil followed while drinking a bottle of water.
"Ready to do the dishes?" Kenz looked up from putting a puzzle together with Jordyn and Cameron.
"Can you just ground me already? Please? No TV for a month?" Morgan crossed her arms.
"You're not in trouble." She smiled. "Want lunch? I thought fish 'n chips might be nice."
Both kids covered their mouths and ran to the bathroom.
"You're ruthless." Phil smiled and walked to the kitchen.

They returned a few minutes later. "I changed my mind. I need for you to straighten up the attic for me. If you do that, you won't have to baby sit tonight."
"You swear?" Taylor huffed.
"Absolutely." She winked at him.
"Fine." Morgan looked at her Father.
"You're on your own this time." He walked to the sofa and plopped down. "I'm watchin' the football game."
"Uh!" Taylor turned to his mother.
"We'll tape it for you." She waved him off.
"It's not the same!" He whined as he walked out to the garage.
"Big baby!" Morgan followed him.
"Piss off!"
Kenz and Phil giggled.

They mumbled and cursed the entire time they were up there, stacking up old boxes.
"Exactly how much shit do they 'ave up here?" He threw a box down.
"I say toss it all!" She mumbled.
"Damn it!" He kicked a box. It flew open, spilling out photos everywhere.
"Good one, ace!" Morgan spat at him.
"Well fuck if that ain't all I need!" He knelt down to gather them.  They were all of his Mother, Phil, and another guy with blonde hair. They seemed to be having a lot of fun and were always hanging around a pool table. It didn't look like the one downstairs. And his Mother was… drinking.
"Well what do ya know?" He chuckled. "Mum did 'ave a pint or two in her younger years."
"No way!" She then began to go through the box where she found one of her journals. She skimmed through a few pages and then boxed it all back up.
"Black mail!" She laughed as he carried it down the stairs.
"Your arse if she finds out you 'ave it." Taylor followed her.
"Her fault for makin' us tidy the attic, right?" She walked into the house and looked into the den to see her parents watching the football game. They were yelling at the television because of a bad call that had just been made. She quickly snuck up the stairs and placed the box in her closet.
 

A few days later, Morgan walked into her room after school and threw her books onto the desk. She had no desire to start on his homework right away and television sounded just as boring. Taylor and Jayla were at soccer practice and her younger brother and sister were such… infants.  She fell onto her bed and ran her fingers through her hair as she looked over at the box on the floor of her closet. She took a deep breath as she sat up and reached for the book.  The excerpts she had read so far disturbed her. Surely it wasn't her Mum that wrote this. This person seemed so depressed and talked about vodka a lot. Yet, it was her hand writing. And she mentioned 'Sav' asking her to
marry him. Taylor's Dad. It had to be hers.  Her thoughts were interrupted by the knock on his door.
"Morgan? You 'ome?" Kenz knocked lightly.
"Yeah!" She shoved the diary under her pillow.
"Hey." She walked in. "How was school?"
"Usual." She huffed. "I have another friggin' writing assignment."
"Hey, watch the mouth please."
"Sorry." She sat up. "What's goin' on?"
"Well, Dad and Uncle Sav want to go to a concert in London this weekend and I wondered if you wanted to go. Maybe visit your Grandpa and Alex for the weekend."
"Not really." She thought of a quick excuse. "The Celts are playing the Wednesdays and Grandpa doesn't get satellite coverage."
"True." She smiled. "Your Uncle Joe does."
"And he'll probably be watchin' the United game."
"True again."
"Tay and I can stay here, Mum. I'm sure Aunt Nat'll keep up with us anyway."
"You're just full of answers, aren't ya?"
"Well?"
She watched her for a moment. "Fine. But I will call and there will be no parties."
"Parties?" She smiled.
"No friends over at all, Morgan."
"I don't have friends, Mum." She chuckled.
"No, you have mates. Oh, and Jayla can't 'ave a party here either, so don't even think about gettin' around it." She smiled knowingly as she walked into the hall.
"Damn." She mumbled. How did she always know what she was thinking?

"You what?!" Jayla sat straight up on her bed.
"Morgan and I 'ave the house to ourselves this weekend." Taylor spoke.
"How in the hell did you accomplish that?"
"The parents are takin' the little ones to London with them."
"And just like that they let you stay? There has to be a catch, Tay."
"Yeah, your Mum."
"I knew it!" She huffed as she crossed her arms. "Let me make ring a few blokes and I'll ring back."
"No, Jay. No parties. We're on probation."
"What they don't know won't hurt, TK! Trust me!" She hung up.

"Oh c'mon, Tay. It's not that bad." Kenz watched her son pick over the meal that Sav had prepared for them. "Just a few bites." She pleaded.
"I'd like to keep my teeth intact." He mumbled under his breath as the phone rang. "I'll get it!" Morgan jumped up and ran into the kitchen.
"'Ello?"
"Okay." Jayla whispered. "Patsy's folks think she's stayin' here. Robby's folks think your parents are gonna be there. My folks think I'm stayin' at Patsy's..."
"So where are we stayin'?"
"There! What's the stock of the bar look like. I may be able to grab a few of Dad's..."
"My parents don't drink, there's no bar!" She giggled. "Tay's afraid we're gonna get busted."
"Oh ye of litt'l faith. 'Ave I ever let you down before?"
"Well, what about..."
"That was an accident! It'll work, I promise!"
"I'm cool with it!" She hung up and returned to the dining room.
"Who was it?" Phil strained while chewing on his food.
"Jay. Had a question 'bout her writing assignment." She lied. "Speakin' of, I really need to get mine done."
"What about your dinner?" Sav asked.
"Can't concentrate on a full stomach." She smiled.
"Go on!" Phil huffed.
Taylor looked at his mother pleadingly. "Your father cooked, now eat."
 

"Tay! Morgan! We're 'ere!" Jayla ran into the house and looked around. "TK!
You 'ome?" She ran upstairs to his room. "TK?"
"Don't get your knickers in a bunch!" He walked in from the bathroom while zipping up his jeans. "Who is we?"
"Um.. a few mates."
"A few?" He cocked his eyebrow at her.
"It's cool." She pushed him down the stairs.
He stopped when he reached the end of the stairs and looked around. "Bloody 'ell, Jayla! There's... twenty people 'ere!"
"But they're all soccer fans, Tay. I couldn't say no."
She batted her eyes at him. "And Jason over there? He's 18. He can go on a beer run if we need to."
"You are fabulous!" Morgan ran down the stairs.
"Jayla, you are a brilliant girl..." He walked to the kitchen. "No matter what anyone else says about cha!"
"Huh?" She stopped. "What do they say?" She watched him laugh and walk away.
"Tay! What do they say?" She followed him.
"Hi Taylor." A cute little blonde girl by the name of Tristy walked into the kitchen.
"Tristy." He stopped dead in his tracks and looked her over. "I didn't... I didn't know you were comin'."
"I had to help Jay tote the cooler over." She batted her green eyes at him.
"Thank you." He smiled his sweet boyish smile at her.
"Blagh." Jayla walked in and rolled her eyes. "Mush!"
"Off with ya, then!" He pushed her.

"Canceled?" Sav stood at the terminal.
"All flights to London have been canceled. There was a bomb threat earlier today."
"Fine." He sighed. "Thank you." He turned to Paige.
"What next?" Kenz looked at Phil.
"Why don't we go out?" He took her hand as his cell phone rang. "Yeah?"
"I'm watchin' the tele and I bet you're still in Dublin." Joe chuckled.
"You're a bloody fortune teller, ain't ya?" He chuckled.
"Wanna meet Nat and me for dinner?"
"That would be lovely. Give the kids a few extra hours to live it up, anyway."
"See you in a bit then." He hung up.
He looked up at Sav, Paige and Brady. "Joe's?"

"Wow." Taylor drank down a shot of some dark liquid. "This is good shit, Jay."
"It's called black vodka. Dad seems to fancy it mixed with that energy stuff... Red Bull? Anyway, he seems to like it."
"Can I try?" Morgan smiled at him.
"Sure." He poured her a glass.

"Thanks for the invite." Sav spoke as they returned to Joe and Nat's.
"No prob. Wanna stop in for a few drinks before you head off?"
"Sure." Phil looked at Kenz and smiled.
They walked in and dropped their jackets on the sofa as Joe walked behind the bar. They watched as the kids ran off to the play room. "I've got this new drink that you have to try..." He moved the bottles around.
"It should be right there." Nat pointed. "I just went to the liquor store yesterday."
"I may be gettin' old, but I don't see the bloody thing."
"Here!" Nat huffed as she pushed him out of the way. She looked around.
"It's gone. So is the Jose, Dewar's and Smirnoff." She looked up at him.
Joe pursed his lips and looked at Kenz. "Gee. I wonder where my darling daughter would have gone with such a large stash of alcohol?"
Phil took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. "Let's go."

"Truth or dare!" Jayla slurred as she pointed to Morgan.
"Dare." She smiled.
"Um..." She looked around the room. "I dare you to... chug from this bottle of vodka."
"Ew! That shit's pure alcohol!" Morgan took the bottle.
"Chicken!" Taylor giggled.
"Oh yeah?" She tipped the bottle up just as Phil and Kenz walked through the door.
Kenz stopped dead in her tracks as she watched her daughter with the bottle of vodka. Phil watched her and knew she was speechless. He decided to take over for her. "What in God's name are you doin'?" His voice echoed throughout the house.  Morgan choked and spit the clear liquid through her nose as she nearly dropped the bottle.
"Fuck me!" Jayla turned to run down the hall, only to be met by her father.
"Dad!"
"What 'ave I told you about sneakin' off with me liquor?" He crossed his arms.
"Ask first." She pouted as she rolled her eyes.
"Joe!" Nat smacked him on the back of the head. "This is serious!"
"Well, I'd much rather know about it than 'ave her sneak around!" He watched as she gathered all of the bottles.  Kenz gazed at her daughter as the other kids quickly gathered their things and left. "I am... extremely disappointed in you." She calmed herself as she looked down at the bottle of vodka. So many memories flooded her mind that she had to shake them off.
"We were just 'avin' fun, Mum." Taylor stood up for his sister.
"No, you're playin' with fire is what you're doin'!"
"C'mon, Dad still gets drunk occasionally! And don't tell me you or Phil never did, I'm not an idiot." He crossed his arms.
"I know you're not. And you're right. But... you're too young, Taylor."
"Whatever." He huffed and walked up to his room.
"C'mon." Phil walked Morgan up to her room.
"Dad…"
"Stuff it, Morgan. We'll talk later." He closed her door behind him.
Joe walked Jayla out to the car as Nat stayed and watched Kenz. She looked at Sav with that look. Oh God, it had been years since he had seen that look. Why did it have to come back? She shook her head and ran up to her office where she slammed and locked the door.
"He needs to know, Sav." Nat whispered.
"When he's older." He looked away.
"Kenzie was 13 when she started drinking."
"I know." He closed his eyes.
She nodded her head and patted his arm. "Call if you need anything."
He turned and placed his hand on hers. "Thanks, Nat."
"Any time." She smiled and walked out the door.

Phil slowly walked across the hall and stood at her office door. He listened for a moment and heard her crying. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before gently knocking. "Kenzie? It's me, open up."
She opened the door and leaned against the frame. "It's happening, Phil." Tears flowed as she watched him.
"C'mere." He pulled her into his arms. "No, we won't let it, baby. I promise."
 

Phil woke up the next morning to see that Kenz had finally fallen asleep. He quietly dressed and walked to Morgan's room. He knocked softly and then walked in.
"What?" She huffed as she laid across her bed and read one of Kenz's journals.
"Whatcha got there?" He sat next to her.
"Mum's diary." She sighed.
"Really?" His eyes widened. "And what 'ave you read?"
"Shit that absolutely makes no sense, Dad." She sat up and looked at him.
"If she loved Uncle Sav so much, why did she end up with you?"
"End up?"
She hid a smile. "You know what I mean."
He smiled as he leaned back and thought about it. "Which journal is it?"
"There's more?" Her eyes widened.
"There's a lot more." Kenz stood at the door with her arms crossed. "What you're reading is probably the least depressing of it."
Morgan looked up at her mother. "I don't understand."
"Maybe it's time that you did." She looked at Phil.
He nodded his head. "Pack up some clothes, Morgan. We're goin' to London."
He stood and walked to the door where he gave his wife a long, strong hug.

"You're what?" Sav's eyes widened as he nearly spit out his lunch.
"I think you should go with us. I'm sure the kids have more than a few questions about you and me. And Taylor has a right to know."
"I don't think it's a good idea, Kenz." He shook his head. "They're too young to know about…"
"About what, Rick? My daughter is the same age I was when I started binging.  And I was much wilder than either of the kids are now."
"And what if they take it as a cue to do the same thing? Mum did it, so it must be okay."
"The whole reason for doing it is to prove that it's not bloody okay!" She spat. "Did you know that Taylor and Morgan found one of my old journals?"
"Fuck, you're kiddin'!"
"And what happens if somehow they find the one that's missing? It's harder to explain after the fact, don't you think?"
"Depends on which one is missing."
She took a deep breath. "Hysteria through the first rehab." She sighed.
"Jesus Christ, Kenzie!" He rubbed his face. "That's one best left lost, don't you think?"
"Look, I'd much rather do this with you than without you. It's gonna be hard enough as it is." She looked at him. "Joe, Nat and Rick are meeting us there Saturday.  Be there, or don't." She grabbed her purse and walked away.
 

Kenz, Phil, Morgan and Taylor walked into the house and looked around. Kenz smiled as she closed her eyes and memories came rushing back. "God, I've missed this place."
Phil returned her smile and then looked at Taylor.
"We've been here before." Morgan looked around. "I remember all of the pictures."
"I don't think so, love. You're probably thinkin' of the house in LA.  There's a wall there too."
"That's right." Taylor nodded.
"Alright, Taylor you take Aunt Nat's old room. And Morgan gets the guest room."
Kenz whispered into Phil's ear. "You don't have to sleep on the sofa anymore, Philly. You can share my room." She giggled as she walked up the stairs.  He growled as he watched her walk up the stairs.
"Why don't you kids get settled in." He quickly ran up the stairs.  Morgan and Taylor looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

"Where's Mum?" Taylor walked back downstairs an hour later.
"Um… Unpackin'." Phil looked up as Morgan followed. "Why don't we go out back and give her a few minutes." Phil walked them outside. He'd noticed that Morgan was carrying the journal and when they reached the lawn chairs decided to ask about it. "Whatcha got there?"
"Mum's diary." She handed it to him. Phil stared at the book.
"She mentions you a lot in it." Taylor sat down next to him.
"She does, does she?" Phil took the book and opened it up. Briefly he read over a couple of entries and Taylor noticed the tears that rolled down his cheeks.
"You and Mum have always been really close, haven't you?"
"Aye, we still are." His eyes remained on the book. "She's the greatest person I've ever known."
"She considered you the brother she never had." Morgan flipped to an entry where his mother had written those very words. "But I'd never want to… marry my brother." Morgan gave Taylor a face.
Phil couldn't help but laugh. "I suppose not." He scratched his nose.
"Things 'ave definitely changed over the last few years, that's for sure."
"I'm havin' trouble understandin' that one m'self." Taylor smiled.
"Maybe it's time you learn a little more, then." She stood at the back door.
She waived her family into the house and led them to the living room and pointed to the frames hanging on the wall.
"Wow." Taylor tipped his head back. Kenz and Phil both chuckled.
"Your Mum was never lackin' in friends." Phil refreshed his memory with the photos on the wall.
"I've been very lucky." She followed. Morgan continued to look over the pictures asking a question here and there about whom certain people were.
"Him!" Taylor pointed to a picture of Kenzie, Phil, and another man with blonde hair. "I've seen several pictures of the three of you together." He looked at Phil. "Who is he?"
"That would be Steve." Kenz rested her hands on Taylor's shoulders.
"He was a good friend of me and your Mum's." Phil added. "He was a guitarist in the band before he died."
"Mum wrote a lot about him too." Morgan continued looking through the pictures. Friends always surrounded Kenz and there was several of her with Sav, several with the lads and also a few with Roger and other bands.
"Mum knew all these people?"
"I did, yeah." She reached for the shelf next to the tele and grabbed a hand full of videos. "Come 'ere."
They all four sat down on the couch as she pressed the play button. The first of the old videos that had been recorded started to play.
"Mum!" Taylor gasped as the camera pointed to Kenz. "I didn't know you had videos." He looked at his mother.
"That whole cabinet is full of them."

"Yo, Steve!" Phil stood in front of him with the camera.
"Piss off!" Steve smiled and flipped the bird at the camera.
"Nice." Phil laughed. He moved on to capture Sav. "Keeping his eye on the lady." Phil spoke.
"Do you know how cheesy you sound talkin' to that bloody thing?" Sav laughed.
"Just call 'em like I see 'em."
"Move on then." Sav pushed him out of his way.

"You all look so young." Taylor's eyes were glued to the television.
"Thanks." Phil chuckled. He could really hear how cheesy he sounded now, years later.

"Let me 'ave that." Joe took the camera from Phil. "Now you talk nice to the camera." Joe aimed it towards him.
"I'm Phil Collen." He smiled.
"And I'm not!" Rick popped his head over Phil's shoulder.
The camera shook as Joe busted out in laughter.
"Rick's drunk!" Kenz laughed.
"We all are." Nat smiled at her.
"Oh, yes." Joe turned the camera on the girls. "Tell us ladies, what is your favorite Def Leppard song?"
"Def Leppard?" Kenz looked at Nat.
"Who are they?" Nat turned back to the camera.
"Funny." Joe kept the camera on them. "C'mon tell Joe your favorite song."
"I don't think I've heard any of their songs." Nat giggled.
"Oh, I know!" Kenz took a quick drink. "Autograph!"
"Wanker!" Phil huffed.
"I think she broke the camera." Joe turned it around and looked into it.
"That was low." Sav smacked her lightly on the back of the head.
"Def Leppard does not sing 'Autograph'." Joe spoke into the camera. "Our voices and instruments would never play the same if we sang a bloody John Denver song." He then turned the camera back on the girls. Phil, Joe and, Sav all three looked at each other and then the girls.
"It's Photograph!" They yelled.
"Oh!" Kenz giggled.
"Close enough." Nat followed.

They watched a few videos before they headed off to bed. Kenz tossed and turned all night. Drug and alcohol hazed memories flashed through her mind.  Finally, after trying to sleep for three hours she gave up and walked downstairs. She found Phil in the kitchen drinking on a bottle of Dewars.
"Can't sleep?" She sat down beside him.
"To many memories in this house." He gave a painful huff.
"Tell me about it." She rubbed her eyes. "The kids couldn't take their eyes of the tele for two seconds tonight."
"They're anxious to know everythin' about their Mum." Phil shuffled some photos he'd been looking at.
"I'm still strugglin' for a way to put it."
"They're gonna figure it out. They saw on the videos where I got you several times chuggin' from a bottle of Smirnoff."
"I know." She rubbed her face.
"They need for you to tell them." Phil finally looked over at her. "You owe it to them."
"You always 'ave a way of puttin' it right out there." She chuckled.
"Yep. That's why you're me best mate." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. "You know, I'm sure we could try to wear ourselves out enough to sleep."
"You've never been that worn." She giggled.
"Worth a try, though." He wiggled his eyebrows.

The next morning Taylor walked into the kitchen and sat down. Kenz was reading the paper and Phil was cooking breakfast. They all waited until Morgan joined them. She took a bowl of fruit from her father and then sat next to Kenz.
"I 'ave a question." She stated. "In your diary you always sounded so sad but in the videos you looked so happy."
"I know. I was a complex person back then."
Taylor thought a minute before he spoke. "In your diary you talked about how much you hated Phil for helpin' put you in rehab. What were you doin' there?"
Phil dropped the spoon he was holding and his face grew pale. Kenz looked at his son and took a deep breath.
"What I'm about to tell you....I want you to hear me out before you jump in." Her hands began to shake. She wished Sav, Joe, Nat and the others were here. With all of them here it would be a little easier to handle. "I kept a lot of things bottled up inside me. I always felt the need to be what I thought everyone expected me to be." She paused as she searched for the right words. "Over the years that got to be harder and harder for me to do.  So,...to escape from the stress I would go off by myself to be myself. Relax the fake smile for a while."
Taylor's face held a look of confusion, while Morgan waited for more.
"To help with the pain I drank....heavily. After some time I began to take the trips with Steve. The two of us seemed to understand each other. We believed our lives were the same." She felt drained so Phil stepped in. He knew it was the next part that she couldn't bring herself to say.
"During those trips, which I was the only one to know about for a while, your Mum began to use drugs." He watched Morgan and Taylor's faces turn to shock. "She quickly got addicted to cocaine and anti depressants."
"After several months of hidin' it from the rest of the group, I moved to New York and took a job with Rolling Stone. The group came to visit me some time after I'd moved and I od'd." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "It was then that Phil called your grandpa and they took me to a rehab clinic in LA. I spent three months there."
"When did you come back?" Morgan couldn't stay silent any more.
"She came back to England for Aunt Nat and Uncle Joe's weddin'." Phil answered.
"Why?" Taylor began to cry. "Why would you do that to yourself?"
"I was depressed. Everything I went through in life began to bring me down.
It was when your Dad and I got back together and I learned that she I pregnant with you that I truly began to heal."
"Steve died of an overdose in 1991." Sav spoke from the doorway. Relief washed over Kenz's face. "She felt guilty for not bein' 'ere." He crossed the room with the others following him. He walked up and rested his hands on her shoulders.
"She'd taken an assignment in Japan and wasn't here when Steve died. She felt that if she'd have been here she could have done something to prevent it." Nat added.
"Then the lads went to work on finishin' the album and lookin' for a new guitarist. She resented me for a while though we were friends." Viv chimed in.
"We all loved your Mum and were determined to stand by her when she relapsed again after you were born." Rick pointed to Taylor.
"She found Steve's old lyric book that I would give anythin' to go back and trash the moment I found it." Joe sniffed. Kenz reached over and took his hand as she gave him a warming smile. "She found letters from Steve in there that he never sent her."
"See, Steve was in love with your Mum." Phil looked between Morgan and Taylor.

They went on to tell them about all the times they shared with Kenzie. The stories on some of the pictures on the wall and how Phil, Steve, and Kenz came to be known as the Three Blondes.
"I didn't even know I had an Aunt Rory." Taylor finally spoke again.
"None of us 'ave spoken to her since that day." Sav huffed. They were again silent for a bit.
"So, Mum was an addict. No wonder you flipped when Jay and I had a party." Morgan spoke
"I flipped cause you had a bottle of vodka tipped to your mouth." Kenz put her arm around her daughter.
"Your mom was only 13 when she began drinking." Nat patted her hand. "Your parents only want for you not to follow down the same path she took."
"She's been clean for the last fourteen years." Phil looked proudly at Kenz.
"And she'd been the happiest we've ever seen her."
"Okay, that still doesn't answer our question, though." Taylor looked at his father. "What happened? In the diary we've read, Phil's your best friend and Dad's the love of your life."
"Yeah." Morgan looked at her father.
Sav looked at Kenz. "Should they see the tape?"
"Might as well." She turned her head.
"Hey." Phil took her hand. "It's okay."
She nodded her head and leaned over for a hug.
 

Joe placed the tape in the player and looked up at the others. "Ready?"
Phil looked at Kenz and took her hand.  She nodded her head.  He pressed the play button and joined the others.

"Kenzie!" Phil yelled from behind the camera.
"Hey, Philly!" She smiled.
"That would be our dear Mackenzie Savage."
"That's me." She giggled.
"And don't forget, Roger Taylor's daughter!" Rick laced his arm around her shoulders.
"That's right." Viv spoke from the other side of her.
"More importantly, she's my wife." Sav stood behind her and pulled her into his arms.
"My favorite title yet." She kissed him. "Besides bein' a mother."
"I can handle that." He gave her a smile.
"And I am the Master!" Joe butted in front of them.
"Get over it!" They all yelled.  They were all still fussing when Kenzie's cell phone rang.
"Mackenzie Savage." She stepped away so that she could hear.

"You're up, love!" Joe smiled at her over the table.
"Shit!" She took another drink.  Finishing half the glass she sat it down and grabbed a pool stick.  She leaned over the table and eyed the ball.  Everyone watched, as she didn't move.  She blinked her eyes as a shiver came over her body.  Her hands were shaking as her eyes slowly met Sav's.  She dropped the stick and ran for the bathroom and Nat quickly followed.
"First drink she's had in four months?" Joe looked at Sav.
"Yep." He smiled.  That smile quickly faded as he heard the blood-curling cry from Nat.
"Joe!" She stood white as a ghost in the doorway to the restroom.

Taylor noticed at that point that the camera dropped on the pool table but kept recording.

The guys quickly pushed their way in and found Kenz on the floor.  She was shaking so badly that she looked as though she was having a seizure.  Phil bent down and looked at her eyes.  His eyes turned and met Sav's and he saw Jason and Rory standing in the doorway.
"It's a reaction to the Narcon." Phil groaned.  Joe quickly pushed him aside and picked her up.
"Miss Kenzie take a hit?" Jason smirked.
"You bastard!" Sav slammed him against the wall. "What the fuck did ya do?"
"She's an addict.  She always will be!" Jason retaliated.
"Let's go." Phil glared at Rory and Jason as the group left with Kenz in tow.

Morgan and Taylor were in shock.
"What was that?" She asked her mother.
"After my second rehab, I went on a drug that… poisoned me if I took any drugs similar to Cocaine." She explained. "And that was what a reaction was like."
"So, you relapsed again?" Taylor waited for a reply.
"No, she didn't." Sav spoke up. "Your Aunt Rory had a guy slip it into her beer."
"But everyone thought I was using again." Kenz looked at Taylor. "And your father made me leave."
"And you took care of her." Morgan looked at her father. "Like you always did, right?"
"Right." He nodded. "And we've been t'gether ever since."
"Not exactly." Sav mumbled.
Nat smacked him on the back of the head. "Zip it!"
Phil then decided to take the opportunity to rub it in further. He turned to his daughter. "Your Mum an' I got married when we found out we were 'avin' you. Taylor 'ere was just a lit'le over two when you were born."
"Oh, piss off!" Sav stood and stormed out of the house.  Morgan and Taylor looked at one another.
"That's enough, Phil." Kenz looked at him. "Let's not turn this into a pissin' match."
"He started it!" He huffed.  Joe crossed his arms and glared at him. "Oh, all right!"

That night, Taylor tossed and turned. There was no way he was going to get any sleep. Nat and Joe were going at it in her old room and his Mum and Phil… well, they were noisy. He threw a T-shirt on and walked downstairs to the kitchen where his father was smoking a cigarette.
"Thought you quit?" He sat across from him.
"I started again, okay?" He huffed. "Just don't tell your step-mum and we'll be fine."
He chuckled at him. "So I take it you couldn't sleep either?"
"There's somethin' about this house that 'as everyone… worked up." He rolled his eyes.
"Tell me about it. You're lucky you're not stayin' upstairs."
"No doubt!" He laughed.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Did you and Mum go at it as much as she does with Phil?"
Sav's face dropped. "Taylor, that's all in the past."
"Why is that?"
"Because. She chose Phil over me and that's that."
"Didn't you apologize?"
"Every bloody day." He rubbed his face. "She was always so sure that it would 'appen again. She didn't want to take the chance that I'd take you away from her."
"So she played it safe, huh? Picked the guy she knew she could always count on?"
"Whose side are you on, anyway?"
"Right now? Hers."
"Whatever." He rolled his eyes.
"You're still in love with her, aren't you?" He crossed his arms.
"Every time I'd try to make a move, Phil would get 'er pregnant again!" He huffed. "You do 'ave two sisters and a brother, ya know."
"Is that why it took you so long to marry Paige?"
"Pretty much." He sighed. "So how are you doin' with all this?" He wanted desperately to change the subject.
"I'm okay." He nodded his head. "I mean, Mum's no where near the same person she used to be. And even if she was, we'd be 'ere for 'er."
"That's my boy." He smiled at him.
"I'm just worried about Morgan. She's been way too quiet lately."
"Maybe she's takin' it all in?"
"Or maybe she acts just like Mum." Taylor watched him. "My lit'le sister 'as the tendency to hide her feelin's a lot."
"Ave you talked to your Mum?"
"Not yet. I thought I'd give 'er a few days and talk to her."
"Just be careful, Tay. I was always the last one to know if somethin' was botherin' your Mum."
"That's because she told Phil." He smiled.
"Good night!" He huffed and walked into the living room.

Two months later, the entire group gathered around Nat and Joe's television and watched a show called "Rock N Roll Picture Show". It showcased the best photographers in rock from the past 25 years. There were other photographers such as Ross Halford, Linda McCartney, and Andy Warhol that were honored as well as Kenz and Nat.
"Number Five is Natalie Elliott, a name synonymous with action and style."
"See? Action and style." Joe kissed her cheek.
"And fuckin' number 5!" She huffed.
"I think you should 'ave been number 2, Mum." Jayla smiled at her.
"Two?"
Joe shook his head. "One, Jay. One."
"Sorry." She returned to the show.
Vivian laughed and looked at Sav as he followed and then returned back to the show.
"And finally, our Number One photographer... she is a star amongst stars.  It's said that she knows what a person is going to do before they do. She's Mackenzie Collen."
"Correction!" Joe stood up. "Mackenzie Elizabeth Taylor Thomas Taylor Savage Taylor Collen!"
"Piss off, Joe!" She flipped him off as everyone else laughed.
The piece went on to showcase of few of her more famous photos, as well as a few of her best ones. They then ended with commentaries from Phil, Natalie, Sav, Roger, and surprisingly, Jason Bonham.
"What the fuck!" Sav spat.
"Shhh." Phil waved at him.
"Kenzie is not only a great photographer, but a great person. It was a great loss to the world when she retired." He teared up.
"Wanker!" Rick threw a paper wad at the tele.
"You'd know!" Vivian yelled.
"Welp." Joe turned the television off. "I think it's broken now. Let's adjourn to the den for drinks, shall we?"
"We'll tend bar!" Jayla and Morgan quickly jumped in.
"Not too strong." Joe pointed at her.
"Just the usual, Dad." She winked at him.
"What'll it be?" Morgan looked around as one by one she sat five shot glasses on the bar and then proceeded to fill them with tequila.  Everyone froze.
"What?" She stopped. "No tequila t'night?"
"Why did you just do that?" Vivian pointed to the glasses.
"Do what?"
"You lined up five shots." Phil ran his fingers through his hair.
"Uh... yeah. There are five of you standing before me, and you and Mum don't drink." She looked at
Jayla.
"Morgan, Jay and I'd be happy to down them for ya..." Taylor smiled.
"I think not." Sav glared at him.
"Well then, drink! Can't make the whiskey Gods angry, can we?" She grinned.
"Tequila is not whiskey, girl!" Joe looked up in horror. "Collens, you've not properly educated the lass in drink!"
"We see what your education is like!" Rick pointed to Jayla, who was drinking from a bottle of peach schnapps.
"Jayla!" He grabbed the bottle. "Pace yourself, love."
"I'm takin' you home before the Elliott's rub off on ya." Phil pointed to the door.
"Dad!" Morgan huffed.
"Now." He lowered his brow.
"Bye." She pouted as she followed him out the door.

Sav and Kenz walked outside as Phil loaded the kids into the car.
"How do you think he's doing?" She looked up at him.
"I think he's takin' it all in right now. That was a lot of information to digest."
"I feel bad for not telling him everything. Morgan too, for that matter. How I almost killed myself doing that shit."
"No one needs to know that. And I don't want you reliving it by telling them. It'll just dredge up all those memories and get your ulcer goin' again."
"Maybe you're right." She sighed.
"We're ready, Kenz!" Phil yelled from the car.
"Talk to ya later?" She kissed his cheek.
"Night." He smiled at her.
 

Kenz looked up from playing a card game with Cameron and Jordyn when the phone rang. "I'll get it!" Phil yelled from the den. "Ello?"
"Aye Phil. We're takin' a holiday to visit Paige's folks in Cork. Can you keep an eye on the house for us?"
"No problem, mate. Taylor can grab the mail on 'is way home from soccer practice."
"Cool. Thanks." He hung up.
He hung up and then dialed the number to Taylor's pager. "A must 'ave for every boy on the go." He mumbled as he waited for the tone.

Taylor was working on his Geometry homework with Jayla when his pager went off.
"One of your bitches?" Jayla snickered.
"I'm tellin' Mum!" Jasmine walked past them.
"Get outta 'ere, ya brat!" She threw a book at her.
"Looks like Dad's outta town. I need to get the mail." He read and then returned to his work.
"Many possibilities there." Jayla giggled.
"No parties. I like me arse right where it is, thank you."
"Yeah, but just think. We could study without bein' interrupted there, right?"
He looked at her and smiled. "Tomorrow night, love."
"I'll be there."
"Be where?" Nat walked into the study.
"Study group!" They both jumped.
"Un, huh." She sighed.

The next night, Taylor met Jayla at his father's house. They walked in and looked around.
"Ah! A house that actually 'as beer!" Taylor chuckled as he walked to the kitchen and grabbed two from the refrigerator. They sat down at the table and began to study. After a few hours, they made their way into the living room to catch the end of a soccer update on the news.
"You think we 'ave a chance at the regional try-outs?" Jayla looked up at him.
"Sure, why wouldn't we?" He looked down at her.
"There's a lot of good talent tryin' out this year."
"Including you." He smiled.
She looked into his eyes for a moment. "You're pretty good, too." She leaned closer to him.
"Thanks." He reached down to brush his lips across hers.

Phil walked into the house that night to find Kenz in the kitchen cooking.  He smiled as he dipped his finger into the sauce.
"Stop it!" She smacked his hand. "I hope you're hungry."
"Aye." He licked his finger. "God that just gets better and better." He kissed her.
"Thank you." She giggled.  He looked around. Morgan was on the phone with one of her friends and Cameron and Jordyn were playing a soccer game on the Sega. "Where's Tay?"
"I 'aven't seen him." She frowned. "I thought maybe he'd gone over to Jayla's while you were workin'."
"I never saw him." He went upstairs and checked his room.  Then he dialed the phone.
"Hello." Nat stood over the stove.
"Aye, Nat.  Me step-son wouldn't be over there with Jay now would he?"
"I haven't seen him." Nat looked around the room. "As a matter of fact...I haven't seen Jayla for a couple of hours."
He sighed. "Maybe they went to the mall or a movie."
"Maybe." She turned back to her pot. "I'll tell ya what.  If he shows up I'll send him home."
"Same 'ere." He hung up.  Kenz had already served the lasagna onto plates and sat them on the table. "Put Tay's in the oven."
"I'm sure he's alright." Kenz tried to re-assure him. "He's just off bein' a teenage boy."
"That's what worries me." He sat down.

Joe walked up the stairs ten minutes later.
"Dinner ready?" He kissed Nat's cheek.
"Yep." She turned the burner off. "Have you seen Jay?"
"Not since this mornin'." He grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge.
"Why?"
"Phil can't find Taylor and Jayla's not around..."
"I'm sure they're just off causin' trouble somewhere." He chuckled.

He had kissed girls before, but this was so much different. Like he didn't want it to end. He wrapped his arms around her as they laid back onto the sofa. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pushed her hips into the cushions.
"Mmm." She smiled. "Maybe we should take this upstairs."
"Why? No one's here." He rubbed his nose against hers.
"I'd just like my first time to be in a bed."
"Your first time?" He smiled. "But you brag about gettin' it all the time."
"Well... a girl's gotta have her secrets, doesn't she?"
"I suppose." He kissed her. "That's okay. It's my first time too."
"Really?" She watched as he sat up. She then took his hand and led him up the stairs to his room.  He stopped in the doorway when he saw the bed.
"What is it?" Jayla turned to look at him.
"N... nothin'." He kept his eyes on the bed.
"It's okay, Tay." She smiled. "Now kiss me again like you did down there." She wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her.  They slowly made it over to the bed, and then he stopped kissing her. They stared at one another, hearts pounding in their chests. She slowly reached up and began to unbutton her shirt. She then let it fall to the floor and reached for his shirt.  He pulled it over his head and let it drop to the floor. She smiled as she turned around. With shaky hands, he unfastened her bra. His fingers brushed her skin lightly and they were surprised by the electricity they felt. He slid his hands across her skin and pushed the straps off her shoulders. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she again turned to face him.
"Why are your eyes closed?" He whispered.
"I don't know." She responded.
"You 'ave nothin' to be embarrassed about." He pushed his body against hers.
"You're beautiful."
"You really think that?" She finally opened her eyes.
"I know it." He kissed her.
They both took their jeans off and watched each other closely as they removed the rest. They then took their time, touching and exploring each other's bodies as they laid on the bed. He gently slipped his finger inside her as she closed her eyes and smiled.
"Oh." She moaned. "Taylor!" She pushed her hips into his fingers.
"Are you..."
"Don't stop!" She screeched as her body began to shudder.
He watched her as she tried to catch her breath. "You all right?" He kissed her.
"That was amazing." She wrapped her arms around him.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." He smiled at her.
"Your turn." She pushed him down and rolled on top of him.
"My turn for what?" He swallowed hard.
"To enjoy yourself." She moved her hand between them.
"You'll tell me if it hurts, right?" He watched her. "Just say the word and we'll stop."
"You worry too much." She kissed him as she slowly lowered herself onto him.
"Mmm." He dug his fingers into her hips.
She began to move slowly at first, but soon their bodies were in rhythm with one another.
"Does it hurt?" He breathed.
"No." She smiled.
"Good." He pushed her over and pressed her body into the mattress.
"Oh God!" She didn't know what to hold onto, so she grabbed the first thing that came to mind... his ass.
"Oh!" He closed his eyes as he felt her shudder again. It was too much for him and he felt himself let go inside her.  They laid there for a long while, staring into one another's eyes.
"What are you thinking?" He kissed her.
"That this was a lot messier than I imagined." She smiled for him.
"Funny." He rolled over onto his back.
"So what does this mean?" She rolled onto her side and watched him. "I mean, are we a couple now?"
"That depends." He smiled at her. "You wanna date me?"
"I don't know. You've got that whole rock n roll soccer player thing goin' for ya that the girls can't resist." She teased.
"And you have the greenest eyes I've ever seen." He kissed her.
"Look in the mirror sometime, Savage." She grinned. "Fine. We're dating."
"It's settled then." He walked to the bathroom.
"Where are you goin'?"
"The shower." He stopped in the doorway. "Care to join me?"
She raised her eyebrows and then followed him down to the bathroom.

The next morning, Phil woke up to the alarm. Kenz pressed the snooze bar and rolled over to cuddle with him. "Mmm." He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her.
"Good morning." She kissed his neck.
"Keep doin' that and it will be." He grabbed her ass.
"I need to get the kids ready for school." She moaned as he slid his hands under her night gown.
"I'll help." He kissed her. "I promise."
"Well, if you promise." She smiled as she pushed his boxer shorts down his hips.
"God, I love you." He pushed her into the mattress and pushed his way into her.
"Right back at cha." She moaned as she moved her hips to join him.  They were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Mummy!"
Phil dropped his head as Kenz rolled her eyes. "Yes Cammy?"
"I can't reach the cereal!"
"Ask Taylor to do it!" Phil barked.
"He's not here!"
Kenz looked at Phil. They quickly grabbed their robes and walked out of the room.  Phil opened Taylor's room to see that his bed hadn't been slept in.  He ran a hand through his hair and began to worry.  They had dropped a lot of information on him lately and he'd seemed to handle it all in stride.  Then the thought struck him.  He'd been handling it so much like Kenzie would.  Putting on an appearance on the surface.  Morgan was the one that acted so much like Kenz. She was the one they had been worried about. It never dawned on him that Taylor would be the "trouble" child.
"Damn!" He ran down to the kitchen to see Kenz making breakfast for the kids. She looked up at him with a worried expression on her face. He kissed her cheek. "We're gonna find 'im." He quickly dialed the phone.
"What!" Joe grumbled.
"Did Jayla ever come 'ome?" Phil gasped.
"Phil?" He sat up.
"Did she?" He began to panic.
"I don't know." He got up out of bed. "Let me look." He walked down the hall and opened the door.  Her bed had not been slept in either.
"She's not there is she?"
"No." Joe rubbed his face. "What do you think they're up to?"
"I'm not sure I want to know."
"Oh shit!" Joe closed his eyes. "Let me dress and we'll be right there."
"Fine." He hung up the phone.
"Fuck!" She paced.
"Mummy said the "F" word!" Jordyn turned to Cameron.
"Go Mum!" Morgan laughed.
"Shhh." Phil held her. "Settle down, baby. We're gonna fight."
Kenz turned to Morgan. "Do you 'ave any idea where he is?"
"No, Mum." The look in her eyes scared her. "I swear."
She nodded her head.

Within a half an hour Joe and Natstood in their kitchen.
"Where do you think they went?" Nat looked around the group.
"I don't really know." Phil sighed.  He smiled as Kenz walked around and refilled their coffee cups. She had to do something to keep herself busy.
"Don't smack me on the back of me head for this but, I think we need to approach this as if we were talkin' about Kenz leavin' for a binge." Joe commented.
"He's right." Nat slumped into the chair. "What would you 'ave done?" There was silence. "Well?" Nat turned to her.
"Any one of our houses that no one was around at the moment." Kenz spoke out.
"London!" Joe grabbed the phone book.
"The house?" Kenz watched him.
"I'll run home and check the keys." Nat started to stand.
"Don't bother.  He made a set whilst we were there before."
Phil made a few phone calls while the others searched the den and Taylor's room. Finally,
around noon, he hung up the phone.
"They didn't board any planes for London." He looked at Joe
"I'm gonna ground her till she's thirty!" Joe gritted his teeth.
"I'm kinda glad she's with him." Kenz looked at Phil. "At least he didn't up and leave alone."
"True." He sighed. "But damn I can really sympathize with her right now."
"I know." She patted his hand.

Taylor woke up and smiled as he pulled Jayla into his arms. It took a while to dawn on his that the sun was up. He opened his eyes and listed to the roar of the ocean from the window. That's when it finally dawned on him.
"Oh shit!" He looked up at the clock.
"Huh?" Jayla sat up in bed. "It's morning?" Her eyes widened.
"We fell asleep!" He grabbed his clothes.
"My mother's gonna kill me!" She squealed as they dressed a quickly as they could and then gathered their school books.

"God, I need a drink." Kenz looked at Nat as she paced the floors.
"You and me both." She sighed.
"Girls night out when we find them?" She raised her eye brows.
"If Phil will let you go." She giggled.
"Not likely." He walked in.
They were interrupted by the front door opening. They all ran into the hall.
"Where've you been?" Kenz held back tears as she wrapped her arms around her son.
"I'm so sorry, Mum." He looked around the room. "Jay an' I fell asleep at Dad's last night and just woke up."
"Where is she?" Joe's eyes widened.
"At your house, gettin' ready for school."
Joe looked at Nat. She turned to Kenz. "Be at Kehoe's after the kids are in bed."
"You got it." She nodded and then returned to her son. "What were you doin' there?" She crossed her arms.
"Studyin'. It's much quieter there than either of our houses."
"What else?" Phil crossed his arms and waited.
"That's it." He looked away.
"Fine." Kenz looked at Phil. "Go and get ready for school, then."
He nodded his head and ran up the stairs.
"You were entirely too easy on 'im." Phil whispered.
"And what exactly are we gonna punish 'im for?" She smiled. "He was shaggin' Joe's little girl!"
"No!" He covered his mouth. He smiled as he ran to the phone.
"Who are you callin'?"
"Sav's gonna love this!" He dialed as he walked down to his music room.

Joe paced the floor as Jayla sat on the sofa and watched her mother stare at her from across the room.
"You expect us to believe that you spent the night with Taylor Savage and nothing happened?" Nat's eyes didn't move.
"I don't care what you believe." She watched her father walk by and rolled her eyes. "That's my story."
"Jayla, I swear to God…" He mumbled.
"Go on to school. We'll talk about it later." Nat waved her off.
"Bye." She walked out of the room.
"I'm gonna kill Sav's son!" Joe looked at Nat.
"Oh, shut up! You are not! It was bound to happen, Joe!"
"So what are we gonna do about it?"
"I'm goin' out with Kenzie tonight and we're gonna talk it over."
 

Kenz walked in the house after midnight. Phil walked down stairs to see her drinking down a bottle of Maalox. "You okay?" He watched her.
"Just friggin' dandy." She slammed the empty bottle on the counter.
"What'd you eat t'night?"
"Food. That would have probably soaked up the alcohol a little better." She held her stomach.
"Kenz! You know you can't drink."
"I needed it in the worst way." She rubbed her face. "I think we need to take that family holiday to LA."
"You ready to do that? 'Cause I'm not. And the kids are in school."
"Under the circumstances? I think we need to." She crossed her arms.
"Taylor's a walking hormone, Morgan's been extremely closed off from the rest of us, Joe's ready to kick Sav's ass because he laughed when he found out about the kids… I need to get away."
"True." He hugged her. "True. Fine. We'll go to LA for a week. How's that?"
"Good." She sighed.
 
 

"That was the longest bloody flight in history!" Morgan relaxed as they rode in the rental car.
"Mum, you used to come 'ere all the time?" Taylor asked.
"I used to live here." She looked over her shoulder and smiled. "I moved to London when I worked for Polygram and then if was a few years after that when we went to Dublin."
"There's the house in Vancouver too." Phil looked in the rearview mirror.
"You mean Grandpa's house? You lived there?" Morgan raised her eyebrows.
"Not really, just stayed there a lot." She looked at Phil and grabbed her stomach.
"You bring the Maalox?"
"It's not my ulcer." She threw her hand over her mouth. "Can you drive a little faster?"
"I can try. Traffic's a bitch, though." He looked over his shoulder.
"Then pull over!"
"We can…"
"Phil, pull over!" She reached for the handle of the door.
The kids and Phil all made faces as Kenz leaned out of the door and heaved.
"Ew!" Jordyn scrunched her nose.
"You okay Mummy?" Cameron asked from the back seat.
"Does it look like she is?" Morgan smarted.
"Knock it off." Phil reached for a bottle of water and a Kleenex. "Ere." He handed them to her as she sat back in her seat and caught her breath.
"Thanks." She took a sip of the water. "I feel much better now."
Taylor looked up at his step-father. "I think we should all stay in t'night.  Maybe it's contagious."
"Doubtful." Phil sighed. He then returned his attention to his wife. "Think we can make it to the house?"
She nodded and looked out the window.

Kenz held Jordyn's hand as Phil carried four suitcases into the house.  Morgan and Taylor followed with their own and Cameron ran straight to the picture wall.
"Wow! There's Daddy!" He pointed.
"There's the other picture wall." Morgan pointed.
"Cool." Taylor walked over and began to look at all of the photos. There were many more people that they didn't know this time. A few movie stars he recognized... the three  blondes... a photo of Uncle Rick, dripping wet, with a T-shirt that read 'I Love Dick'. He had to laugh at that one.
"Look at your Dad!" Morgan laughed.
Taylor laughed as well to see his father in a tiny blue bath robe, and a very unhappy look on his face. "Mum must 'ave caught all of the touring jokes on film." He pointed to a photo of Phil and Steve and their glow-in-the-dark smiles.
"Apparently, she wasn't exempt!" She pointed to the photo of Kenz and Nat with red hair.
Phil walked up behind them as Kenz walked upstairs to lie down. "We had so much fun together." He sighed as he looked around.
"Who's that, Dad?" Morgan pointed to a photo of Kenz with a man with puffy platinum hair and makeup.
"Ce Ce Deville was 'is name. He was a guitarist for a band called Poison." He sighed.
"And that?" Taylor pointed to a man with puffy black hair and black makeup under his eyes.
"Nikki Sixx." He sighed.
"Why haven't we heard of these guys?" Morgan continued to look.
"Because they're dead." He answered plainly. "Both of drug overdoses." He pointed to a few others. "Heroine, Cocaine, Meth… Alcohol…"
"And these were Mum's friends?" Taylor crossed his arms.
"Mine too." He rested a hand on each of their shoulders. "It's just the way things were back then. I wasn't exactly a saint either, ya know."
"But you're still 'ere." Taylor looked at him.
"I wised up after Steve died. I decided that I didn't want to end up like the lot. It took me a long time to convince your Mum to do the same."
"What changed 'er?" Morgan leaned into her father and rested her head on his chest.
"Hearin' over and over how much we loved her, for one. She may seem like a hard ass now…" He waited as the kids laughed. "But at one time she was really down on 'erself."
"And two?" Taylor turned away from the photos.
"She was determined to be a much better mother than hers. She 'ad a pretty depressing childhood and vowed to be the best Mum she could."
"I think you're a pretty damn good Dad myself." Morgan smiled at him.
"Thanks!" He kissed her nose.
"Mush!" Taylor walked into the living room where the other two kids were watching TV.
"I'm gonna go and check on your Mum. There's a bunch of pillows down in the basement if you wanna bring 'em up. We'll order pizza and watch movies t'night, all right?"
"Yeah!" The kids all ran to the basement.

He slowly made his way up to the bedroom. He walked in to see Kenz on the balcony, watching the ocean. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.
"Mmm." She leaned back into him and rested her head on his shoulder. "What are the kids doin'?"
"Preparin' for movie night." He kissed her cheek.
"Sounds like a plan." She rubbed her fingers across his.
"So, do I pretend I don't know what's goin' on and wait for you to tell me?  Or do you fess up now and get it over with?"
She smiled and looked up at him. "I'm still in denial. How can I confess if I don't believe it?"
"What happened to our retirement plan?"
"Kinda fucks that all to hell, doesn't it?" She sighed. "Taylor's 15, Phil.  And Jordyn's 8. We're supposed to be finished havin' babies."
"Why don't you test it before…"
"Why the hell do you think Nat and I tied one on last week? We tested it then."
"So Nat knows?"
"Of course she knows. I can't hide anything from her. Or you apparently."
"Then I guess we just 'ave to deal with it, Kenz."
"We should be grandparents, though."
"Fuck that!" He laughed. "Joe would conk you on the noggin' for that one!"
She couldn't help but laugh. "True."
"I love you Kenzie." He looked into her eyes.
"I love you too." She kissed him.
"Let's go tell the kids then, okay?"
She nodded her head and followed him out.

Nat got off the phone and ran into the den. There, Joe and Sav were watching a soccer game. "It's official!" She squealed as she jumped into Joe's lap.
"What's that?" He laughed.
"You're bonkers!" Sav smiled at her.
"No!" She threw a pillow at him. "Phil and Kenz are havin' another baby!"
"Huh?" Sav's mouth dropped.
"Holy shit!" Joe laughed. "The potent one is still at it!"
"But… she's 45!" Sav frowned.
"And apparently still light's his fire!" She smiled at Joe.
"Very funny!" Sav huffed.

Morgan walked into the kitchen the next morning to see her father toasting bagels and sipping on a cup of coffee. Taylor was reading the paper and drinking a glass of juice and Cameron was playing in a bowl of cereal.
"Where's Mum?" She sat at the table.
"Laying in bed with crackers and juice." Phil smiled. "It'll be the morning ritual for at least the next couple a months."
"One should think you two would know what caused that by now." Taylor snickered.
"Don't go there, TK." Morgan rolled her eyes. "Your room's not right next to theirs."
"Behave!" Phil sat a bowl of fruit in front of her.
"Daddy!" Jordyn ran into the kitchen.
"Yes, love?" He looked up.
"Can we go to the beach today?"
"I think that's the plan."
"Ugh." Morgan frowned. "I'll burn like a prune if I go to the beach."
"A lit'le color'd do ya some good, sis." Taylor smiled at her.
"I think I look damn fine as I am, thank you." She retorted.
"Transparent?" He looked at Phil.
"Runs in the family!" Phil laughed.
Kenz slowly made her way into the kitchen. "What's all the fun?" She between her daughters.
"They're ribbin' me 'cause I'm not a beach baby like the lot of ya!" Morgan
huffed.
"We've got sunscreen." Kenz pleaded. "It'll be fun, Mor."
"I'd rather stay 'ere and peruse the CD collection."
Kenz sighed and looked at Phil as Taylor kept a close eye on his sister.
"I'll stay too, then. Make it a day for the lit'le ones." Taylor nodded to his mother.
"I'm not lit'le!" Cameron protested. "Tell 'im, Mummy!"
She smiled at him. "Of course you're not, Cammy. Taylor, apologize to your brother."
"I'm sorry, squirt." He winked at him.
"Bet'er." He nodded as Phil and Kenz hid laughter.
"Fine. It'll just be the four of us." Phil looked at Morgan. "If you change your mind, we'll just be…"
"On the beach?" Morgan laughed.
"Smart ass." Kenz mumbled.
 
 

As soon as the door closed, Morgan quickly began going through drawers. All she ever seemed to find were photos  everywhere. She then walked down to the film room and went through the drawers there.  She looked up at the CD player and decided to turn it on. Out poured the sad, melodic voice of Patsy Klein. She closed his eyes and imagined her sitting there, working diligently over a photo spread of the Leps.
"That music is so sad." Taylor walked down the stairs.
"But it suits her." She opened her eyes. "I can see why she likes it."
"Did you find anything yet?" He crossed his arms, knowingly.
"Not really." She sighed. "This is where they all stayed."
"Do you really think you'll find a missing journal 'ere?"
"Well..." She paused as she moved the cushions of the sofa. "They all talk about her first rehab. But she never mentions it in her diaries."
"Maybe she didn't write..."
"Oh, Mum wrote. I think she talked to the bloody pen more than she talked to anyone else." She huffed. "I just know there's a missing book."
"Well… can't beat 'em, join 'em. Right? Tell me where to look."
"Upstairs." She smiled at him.

Taylor went from room to room, looking in drawers and under the mattresses.  He then walked past her and began digging through drawers. He looked in the closet, under the furniture... "Maybe she didn't, Morgie." He sighed.
"I know she did." She walked into the last room. She looked around and noticed the photo of her family on the night stand. It was taken when Jordyn was born. She walked into the closet and began to go through the old shoe boxes on the top shelf. There were receipts, old photos, but that was it.
"Look what I found." Taylor walked in with an old briefcase that had a
'Rolling Stone Magazine' ID tag on it.
"Where was that?" She took it from him.
"The hallway closet." He spoke as she opened it.
There were photos of Steve and Phil, and a book. She quickly opened it and began to read.
Her interest took a different turn when he came to the entries written during the Hysteria tour.  She read a few out loud to Taylor. They pertained to the jokes they played on the group. In a way they were listening to his mother tell the stories about the pictures on the wall. It was when the entries began to turn more personal that she quieted.
'Last night was amazing. I never thought I'd agree to anything like it. Phil and Steve were so gentle yet I could see an animal hunger in Phil's eyes.  The excitement I felt was only heightened by the vodka and cocaine. What a powerful combination.' She wrote.
"Oh my God." Taylor read over her shoulder. "Did she cheat on my Dad with yours?"
"Don't know, TK." She continued to read. "I can't wait till this tour is over! If I hear the question "Are you and Sav an item now?" one more time I think I'll scream. Why can't everyone just leave us be and let us move at our own pace?"
"Guess that answers that." She ran her hand over the pages. She thought her mom sounded depressed in the last diary she read. This one was much worse.
"How could everyone expect me to commit to Sav when he can't himself? I caught him today with Joe and the others checking out a group of women in their bikinis."
"Sounds like typical Dad to me." He shrugged his shoulders.
"But Dad said she was really hard on herself. Self-conscious." Morgan stared at the pages.
"Mor?" Taylor didn't like the expression on his sister's face.
"What?" She looked up from the book.
"What is it?"
"The Hysteria tour was brutal on her." She sighed. "I'm surprised she didn't fall apart then."
"She was very good at hidin' her feelin's." He sat down beside her.
"Listen to this one." She began to read. "Geeze. Yesterday I was shooting the Leps, today I'm on a jet headed for Japan. At first I was completely pissed at Tim for sending me to the Monster's of Rock tour. But the more I think about it, the better I feel. Sav was getting entirely too intense for me. He's like a huge 'L' word time bomb waiting to explode and that's exactly what I don't need right now.
"About the only thing I regret is leaving by boys hanging. We didn't even have a good-bye bar crawl. Steve will probably give me hell over that one the next time I see him, but we can definitely make up for it when we all get home next year. I'm looking forward to it all ready."
"She never saw him again." Taylor whispered.
"She 'ad no ideer that he was out of control." Morgan closed the book. "Dad tried to keep her from it."
"An she ran away from mine." He rubbed his face. "This shit is so deep. I'm 'avin' a hard time believin' that it's our Mum."
"But it was. And it is." Morgan looked up at him. "And I'm just like 'er." She walked to her room and closed the door.
"No you're not, sis." Taylor watched as the door closed. "Not if I can 'elp it."

Morgan propped herself up on pillows and then resumed reading her Mother's diary. "Well, Rog and I had our first father/daughter fight today. Wasn't so bad. He doesn't like it when I get up and leave and I don't like him butting into my private life. Simple as that. So, now I check in with him, tell him what he wants to hear, I'm a good little girl... and voila! Happy Daddy!"  She stopped and thought about the words. It was all an act. The happiness on
the videos. She was giving everyone what they wanted. But the only two people she let loose around was Steve and her Dad. She shook her head the then resumed reading. "Talked to Nat today. She seems pretty stressed. My boys are wreaking havoc on the entire crew. She says that Steve spends all his time drunk and Phil spends all his energy coverin' for him. To me, that's normal. But for some reason, the rest of the band has a bug up their ass about it." She had to laugh. One thing didn't change. Her mother knew how to bluntly put things.
"Steve called me today. He sounded so sad and distant. He won't even open up and talk to me, which scares the hell out of me. He wants me to drop everything and come home. Doesn't he know I have a job to finish. And even if I were, I'm not exactly ready to see Sav just yet. "
"I called Phil and as usual, he denied anything was wrong. That boy is so programmed to cover for us that he's even shutting me out. I shall have to remedy it when I get back home. Maybe we just all need a trip. Me and my boys, away from everyone and everything. And plenty of vodka. I'm so sick of sake, I could scream." She sat back and rubbed her eyes. She had to take in all of this new information. It was apparent that the three blondes were secretly more than friends. But why? Why would she do that if she was with Taylor's Dad? Or was she? Was the bond between her parents stronger than anything she could ever
have had with Uncle Sav?  Deciding it was time for a break, she walked downstairs to grab a bottle of water. Taylor was laying on the sofa, watching an American football game.
"I just don't get it." He shook his head.
"Me neither." She sat at his feet. "They're all so… fat."
"Yup." He smiled and looked at her. "Find what you were lookin' for?"
"I don't really know." She sighed.
"Why are you so interested in the way she used to be? She's a completely different person now and I 'appen to think she's a pretty good Mum."
"I'm not sayin' anythin' to the contrary, TK." She sat back and sighed. "But it's the old person, the old Kenzie that understands the real Morgan right now. I can relate to so many of the things she writes about. Can't you?"
"You've binged and did coke and 'ad threesomes?"
"No!" She smacked his leg. "But the way she thought… I can' just relate, that's all."
He turned the television off and gave her his full attention. "Wanna talk about it?"
She shrugged her shoulders and picked at her fingernails. "Not really."
"Wanna know what I think?"
She nodded her head.
"I think we're both lucky to 'ave a Mum at all. She could've very easily ended up like those people that your Dad pointed out yesterday. It's very apparent to me that drugs are bad news and they only cause trouble. And it's a good think she 'ad my Dad with 'er through the second rehab."
"Wait a sec." She shook her head. "Your Dad is the person that nearly drove 'er insane."
"At least 'e wasn't the one helpin' her to binge! Your father nearly killed 'er!"
"Bull shit!" She stood, anger clearly displayed on her face. "My Dad was the only one there for her when your father took you away and kicked 'er to the curb!"
"Maybe that wouldn't have happened if your Dad wasn't such a gimp! He's always melted to her every whim!"
"Excuse me? My Dad loved Mum long before your Dad even shagged 'er!"
"And who did she always go back to? Your Dad was only a one night fuck! She loved my Dad!"
"And who is she with now, TK? My Dad! He won!"
"Only because he was there to pick up the pieces after my Dad fucked up!"
"And don't you think she would have gone back to him if she really loved him?"
"No! Because she played it safe! She was afraid of bein' hurt again and picked the gimp over the real man!"
"Oh!" She slapped him across the face before running upstairs and slamming her door.
He threw the remote across the room and stormed out to the patio. That is definitely not the way that was supposed to turn out.

Kenz and Phil finished up dinner as the kids sat at the table and waited.  The two youngest talked and played with their silverware while the older two stared at one another.  Phil looked over at Kenz and frowned.  She looked at the table for a moment and thought of what to do. She placed the food on the counter and pulled Phil to the table.
"We're not eating until you two make up." She sat at her seat.
"Sounds like I just started a diet then." Morgan rolled her eyes.
"What's it about?" Phil looked at Taylor.  He looked away and huffed.
"You were fine until this afternoon." Kenz watched her daughter carefully.
"Yeah, but then Taylor opened his damned mouth and ruined everything!"
"Me? You're the one diggin' into shit that you 'ave no business in!" Taylor pointed at her.
"You're just like your Dad! Startin' things you 'ave no intention of finishin'!" She stood up.
"Fuck you!" He yelled and ran down to the basement.
"Kiss my ass!" She ran up to her room.
Kenz and Phil sat in shock as silence filled the room.
Jordyn looked up at her father. "Tay Tay needs his mouth washed with soap!"
"What was that?" Kenz looked at Phil.
"No bloody idea." They both stood. "You take Tay."
"You take Morgan." She sighed as they separated.

Morgan opened her mother's journal and picked up where she left off.
"This can't be happening. Nat called today and told me that Steve died.  They're wrong. Maybe he just left on a binge and didn't come back. They're mistaken, I know it. I shouldn't get myself all worked up. I'll get to London, and he and Philly will be waiting to go out and catch a game of pool. I just know it."
"Phil would have called me if something was wrong. I could have talked Steve out of his depressed mood. I was always good at that. God, I'd even sleep with him again if that would do the trick. That's what I'll do. He was always a sucker for a quickie." She sighed and shoved the book back under her pillow. It just didn't make sense. None of it did. If her mother didn't love her father, then why would she still be with him after all these years? They were still in love, right?  Hell, the still shagged every bloody chance they got. And they held hands.  And kissed all the time. Taylor just wasn't making any sense.  She heard a noise at the door and looked up to see her father's eyes. He walked in and closed the door behind him.
"I'm sorry about the language, Daddy." She sighed. "He just… makes me so mad."
"I'm not worried about that." He walked to her and held his arms out for her. "I just want a hug."
She smiled as she rose to her feet. "I think I can handle that." She closed her eyes as he kissed her on the forehead.
"I love you, Morgan. And so does your Mum. Very much."
"I know, Daddy. And I love you both too." She sighed.
He pulled her back and looked into her eyes. "Now tell me what's bothering you."

Taylor sat on the glider and looked out over the ocean as the sun set. He
heard the back door close and prepared himself for the worst.
"Mum…"
"Can it, TK." She sat down next to him. "You know, there's times when you
act so much like your Dad I could wring your neck." She smiled at him. "But
then I think of the times when you act like me and take comfort in the fact
that he probably feels the same way when you're with him."
"He has mentioned it." He smiled at her.
"But no matter what, I love you." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders
and squeezed.
"I love you too." He rested his head on her shoulder.
"You know, Phil loves you too. Even though he doesn't really tell you. He
used to volunteer to watch you all the time when you were a baby."
"Really?" He raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah. Your Dad and I were… havin' problems. And he'd let me go running or
work out to blow off steam."
"Were you and Dad always havin' problems?"
"That's what everyone tells me." She leaned back. "Your Grandpa called us
'High Maintenance Individuals'."
"Can I ask you a question, Mum?"
She nodded her head.
"Do you care for my Dad at all anymore?"

Morgan sighed and looked at her father. "Taylor and I 'ad a disagreement."
"Over?"
"Who's Dad was better for Mum."
His eyes widened as he looked at her. "And who started that one?"
"I don't remember exactly. I was just so mad that I started yelling at 'im."
He sat back on her bed and thought for a moment. "Where did that subject
come up?"
She waited, not knowing whether to tell him about the diary or not.
"What aren't you tellin' me?" He smiled at her.
She rolled her eyes and reached under her pillow. "We found it this
mornin'."
His face dropped as he reached for the book. "There are a lot of demons in
that one." He met his daughter's eyes. "You both read it?"
"At first. Then, I brought it in here and read more."
"So tell me what you think you've learned from this."
She took a deep breath. "The parties that you, Mum and Steve used to go to.
The… after parties." She looked him in the eye. "Taylor thinks you and Mum
were shaggin' behind Uncle Sav's back."
He covered his eyes and shook his head. "And what do you think?"
"I don't know what to think, Dad. It's pretty clear that Mum had a sort of
split personality. But I think we all tend to at times."
"That's a very mature way to see things, Mor." He ran his thumb across her
cheek.

"Your Dad and I still talk. We get along pretty well, actually."
"You didn't answer my question."
"What are you getting at, Tay? Do I still love your father? Yes, I do. We
shared something very special a very long time ago. And if it wasn't for
him, I wouldn't have you."
"But what if Phil…"
"What is this, Taylor? I made my decision fourteen years ago. I shouldn't
have to justify it today."
"I just think… you and Dad could be good t'gether."
"There are so many things you don't know about, son." She sighed. "Things
that I don't think you're old enough to understand."
"All I know is that my Dad is still in love with you. Isn't that itself
worth another shot?"
She sat there, speechless.

Phil sat with Morgan and read from the journal.
"Well, everyone's hell bent on taking this seriously. I'm still having a
hard time believing that he's really gone. Sav came back with a new
girlfriend named Juli. As an extra little stab in the back, he slept with me
last night and then told her this morning that he missed her. It's
definitely time to move on and forget about Mr. Savage.
Phil himself was reading over these entries for the first time. He thought
for a moment and then looked at his daughter. "That was the day of Steve's
funeral. The first time she came back after she left the Hysteria tour."
Morgan nodded and read on.
"Philly called me yesterday. He's a complete mess. We went to Steve's and
gathered all of the things that the group might want. I swear it looks like
he just picked up and went on a trip. His boots were lying on the floor, his
guitars were set up... like he's going to be home any day. I honestly think
it's the hardest thing I've ever done, pretending to be interested in
Steve's things. He'd be extremely pissed if he came home and his shit was
gone."
Phil shook his head. She really was in denial over Steve's death.
"Anyway, we ended up watching old videos and going through a bottle of
scotch and we woke up together this morning. I don't even remember getting
undressed, but there we were! And he acted so crazy about it this morning.
Like he was nervous. He told me not to tell anyone, especially Nat. Well
duh! I've never told anyone. Maybe the Rick Savage syndrome is spreading."
"I think you should've made you move then." Morgan smiled at him.
"Oh really." He half-laughed. "And why's that?"
"She was ready to move on and away from him. You couldn't won then."
"I think not, lit'le one. If I remember correctly, they ended up together
again a few weeks later. And they were together two years that bout. Bought
Sav's house in Dublin and everythin'."
"But…"
"Told you. Analyzing Mackenzie Collen may just drive you mad. It can't be
done. She is who she is and nothin's gonna change that."
"But she is not this person, Dad." She pointed to the book.
"Yes she is. She's just strong enough to hide her, that's all."

"Please tell me he didn't tell you that." Kenz closed her eyes.
"He didn't. But it was distinctly applied."
"In what context?" She looked at him.
"Every time I tried to get 'er back, Phil would get 'er pregnant again." He
crossed his arms. "I think it's pretty clear, Mum."
"And he said that while pretending to be happily married to Paige, right?"
She huffed. "God, that man has never changed!"
"But…"
"Why don't you ask your Dad why he could never tell me how he felt unless he
was in a relationship with someone else, huh? He never cared about me until
he was shaggin' a model of some sort!"
"Mum…"
"It happened three times, Taylor. He would make love to these women, and
tell them that he cared for them, and then he would sneak me in for a quick
shag on the side!"
"Set'le down, Mum." He reached for her.
"Let me tell you, if I ever catch word that you've treated a girl like that,
I'll castrate you m'self!" She stormed into the house.

She walked in to see Phil and Morgan walking back into the kitchen. "You go
ahead and eat. I'm not hungry." She walked up the stairs and closed the
bedroom door.
Taylor walked into the house only to feel Phil's eyes shooting daggers at
him.
"Don't shoot the messenger!" He held up his hands. "I just… relayed some
info and it backfired severely."
"What info?" Morgan glared at him.
"None of your concern, lit'le girl." He pointed at her.
"Kids!" Phil looked between them.
 
 

Kenz walked back and forth in her bedroom, trying to calm herself. Her chest
was tightening and her pulse racing. How dare Rick tell their son those
things! He had no right to bring Taylor into their twisted life. And she
still hasn't gotten to the bottom of the bickering. She suddenly felt so out
of control. She began to cry as she struggled to catch her breath.
Phil walked up to the door and listened. He closed his eyes and swallowed
before knocking. "Kenz. Open up."
"Go away, Phil."
"Uh… no." He answered. "We talk things through, remember? When did that
change?"
"I'm not ready to talk about this!"
"Well, we need to talk about the kids, then."
"I'm not in the mood, Philip!" She swung the door open and looked at him.
He looked down at her. "Well you'd bet'er get in the mood. 'Cause it ain't
gonna go away any time soon!"
She shook her head and walked back into the room. "What did she tell you?"
"Only that they're arguin' about who's Dad is bet'er."
"Fuck me, that's all I need!" She cried. "What the hell started that?"
"This." He threw her journal onto the bed. She froze as she stared down at
the book. She then looked up at him. A chill ran down his spine as he got a
glimpse of… no. Not after all these years.
"Did they read it all?"
"Not 'til the end. I read over a lit'le with Mor…"
"You did what?" She raised her voice at him. "There is absolutely nothin' in
there that a 13 year old girl should read!"
"I thought we agreed…"
"What the hell were you thinkin'? Jesus Christ, Phil!"
"We agreed that they should know everything!"
"Yeah, but Sav and I…"
"Excuse me? Since when did Sav talk about my daughter?"
"We decided that it would be best that they not know about the OD."
"We. You an' Sav." He shook his head. "Last time I checked, you were my
wife! Not his!"
"Phil…"
"I think you need to step back and take a long hard look at what you want,
Mackenzie!" He rushed down the stairs and out the front door.
Morgan looked up and then at Taylor. "That's not good." His eyes widened.
"What 'ave we done, Tay?" Morgan looked at him. She walked to the phone and
dialed the number to reach an international operator. "Aunt Nat. We've got a
situation 'ere."
 
 
 

Kenz sat on her bed and stared at the bathroom. She thought back to the last
time she and Sav were here, together. It was when she got out of her second
rehab. She suddenly jumped, as she realized what she was doing. What made
her think about that?
She then thought back to the moment that she learned she was pregnant with
Morgan. She and Phil had been sneaking around for over two months, trying to
hide the obvious. Mainly because she and Sav were still married.
But then, she got sick. Just as the Slang tour was wrapping up. And they all
moved back to Dublin.
The look on his face when she told him was priceless. He knew that they were
together, but he never saw them… they never formally announced it. Not until
he saw the engagement ring on her finger did he take it seriously. And even
then , all he said was 'You sure about this?'. What was she gonna say? 'No.
Just bluffing!'
She rubbed her face as she shook off the thoughts. She and Phil had what she
always wanted. They had a solid marriage, they seldomly fought, they had
three fabulous children together… and she really did love him. The bond with
them was deeper than anything that she and Sav ever had. But then… why was
she thinking about him again?

Phil drove to the strip and parked behind the Whiskey. He turned the
ignition off and stared at the steering wheel. What the hell was he doing?
He didn't drink anymore. Even the though of smelling tequila made his
stomach churn.
And why the hell was he so jealous of Sav? After all these years, he was
still afraid that she'd change her mind and want him back. Why was that?
After all, they'd been married nearly 14 years now. He and Kenzie had three…
now four children together. Just earlier that afternoon they had been
snogging like a couple of teenagers and now… they were fighting.
He shook his head. They never fought. They hadn't even been away from one
another for more than two days at a time since they began their
relationship. Towards the end of the Slang tour. Which was a huge mess on
it's own.
He remembered the day Kenz told him that Morgan was on her way. She started
off with 'You know how the divorce won't be final until a week after we get
back to Dublin, right?'. He had to laugh. She was so nervous. "We're havin'
a baby, Phil." The words echoed in head.
As soon as she told him, he bought the house next to Joe's. Once the divorce
was final, he whisked her off to Hawaii and they were married on the beach
at sunset. No one seemed to be surprised when they returned except for Sav.
It had taken him years to get her to marry him. It only took Phil a few
months and one question.
Joe had said that when it's meant to be, there's no stopping it. He and
Kenzie were just meant to be together. He felt it every time he looked into
her eyes. He just wished he knew what she was thinking at that moment.
 
 

Morgan gently knocked on her mother's door. Kenz looked up and wiped the
tears from her cheeks. "Hi." She cleared her throat.
"We really did it, didn't we?" She sat next to her.
"Nah, we were due for a row." She smiled. "Haven't had one in a year or so."
"But this one… I'm so sorry, Mum. We should've waited to read the book."
"It's done, Morgan." She nodded. "I'm just worried about you and your
brother. There's really no sense in you two comparin' fathers. It would be
like me comparin' Alex with my Mom. There really is no comparison. They're
two completely different people and my Dad's been much better off with
Alex."
"Is that the way you see it? That you're 'better off' with Dad?"
She looked at her. "I love your Dad very much. None of you would be here if
I didn't."
"Then why did Taylor upset you so much?"
"I don't know." She sighed. "I guess it's because I feel like a cycle is
startin' all over again."
"Cycle?"
"Yeah. But I don't expect you to understand it."
"Does Dad understand it?"
She nodded her head. "I think he's an expert on it. And that's why he's so
mad right now."
"So TK was right. You're still in love with his Dad."
"No." She began to cry again.
"Maybe you and Dad just need to talk this out. He's a really easy person to
talk to, ya know."
She couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, I know."

After getting all of the kids into bed, Kenz walked down to the basement.
There, she popped in one of her old CD's and sat at her desk, where she
looked over old photos. She thought of how so many things had changed from
the time the photos had been taken until now. She remembered the agony of
the "intervention" that her friends and family put her through after what
had become known as the 'Narcon Incident'.
Phil had always blamed himself for her going back on the Narcon. But if he
wouldn't have signed her out of the rehab clinic that day… and if she had
never been placed on the Narcon again… she wouldn't have had the reaction.
Maybe she'd never have divorced Sav. Maybe she wouldn't have had her kids.
But then again, everyone had pointed out that the relationship was doomed
from the beginning. Maybe things would have run it's course and she and Phil
would have ended up together regardless.
But what if Phil didn't run out of the house to check on her that day? She
was ready to give up. To let Sav have his way. To run away to Vancouver and
never look back. To let Taylor grow up without his mother.
But Phil wouldn't let that happen. He had always been there when she needed
him. When Steve died, when she moved to New York, when she relapsed… he was
the one who helped her through. He was the one that raided her house and hid
the drugs. He was the one to help get her into rehab. He was the one that
signed the papers. She owed her life to Phil.
So, if Phil was only man that ever cared for her, and if he was the man she
had devoted her life to for the last 14 years, then why was she now hiding
away from her family, staring at pictures of Rick Savage? Wishing he were
here?
She remembered the words that her father had spoken so many years ago. "I
just think that Mr. Savage is another one of your addictions, dear. Take
away the sex, and you probably wouldn't be with him."
Was that it then? Was she just hormonal? Wanting once more to feel him
against her? A meaningless fling with her ex-husband? Knowing full well that
it would ruin everything she had worked for over the last 14 years? If that
were the case, it would make her no better than her mother. And she would
rather die than become anything like her.

Phil walked into a dark house. He walked up the stairs and made his nightly
rounds, checking in on each of the kids. He then walked into their room to
see that Kenz wasn't there. Confused, he walked down and looked around the
living room. He noticed the light from the basement and slowly walked down
to see Kenz sitting at her desk, staring at old photos.
He stopped at the last step and watched her. She looked up at him and
waited. "You ready to tell me what's goin' on now?" He rested his hand on
the banister.
She shook her head. "I've always been able to tell you anything. And you've
never judged anything I've ever done. But I just don't think you can be
open-minded about this one, Phil."
"Why? Because it involves your ex-husband?"
She let out a long breath. "You have no reason to be jealous."
"Apparently I do. Because you're startin' to block me out. And you've never
done that before."
"I'm with you, Phil."
"With me?" He crossed his arms. "Gee, thanks."
"You know what I mean."
"Why don't you come out and tell me, Kenz?"
"I love you, Philly." She did the best she could not to cry again. "I
honestly don't know what I'd do without you."
"Then tell me what Taylor said to you t'night."
"Don't make this about Taylor."
"Then who should this be about exactly?"
"Me."
He watched her. What in the hell could Taylor have possibly told her to make
her so… vulnerable?
"Do you remember when you said that the Narcon thing was a huge cosmic test
for mine and Sav's relationship?"
He nodded.
"Well, I'm being tested right now. And it's something I have to handle by
myself. I wish you could understand that."
"And what if you fail? I can't just sit by and watch my entire family slip
away, Kenz! You mean too much to me to let that happen."
"Then trust me."
"I do trust you." He looked into her eyes. "You know I do. But I don't 'ave
to like this. And if I find out that Sav's pullin' 'is old stunts…" He shook
his head. "You've never had a backbone when it comes to him, Kenzie."
"I can do this, Phil."
"Then why are we fightin' about it?" He turned and walked up the stairs.
 
 

She sat there for a while and stared at the stairs. She then pulled out the
book her daughter had given her and flipped to the last page.
"Phil tried to lecture me when the group went out last night.  Telling me
that the shit I'm snorting will fry my brain.  Like he's one to talk.  I
remember many a party that old Phil joined me and Steve on."
It had been the first time that she actually read these entries. She closed
her eyes and took a deep breath before reading on.
"Phil came to visit today.  Tried to give me a guilt trip over Steve.
Telling me that what I was doing was the same thing Steve had done.  How
would he know?  He had a good life.  He wasn't stuck with a family that
didn't care or a job you hated in a town you hated more."
What a choice of words, she thought. 'Stuck with a family that didn't care'.
The only true family she ever really had were Joe, Nat, Rick, Steve, Vivian,
Phil an Sav. They were her family.
"I got arrested last night for a DUI and lost my job at Rolling Stone. Phil
ratted me out to dad so now he knows.  He's taking me in for therapy
sessions.  What's next?  The group abandons me like they did Steve?  I'll
never let that happen."
Such hateful words. It was hard for her to believe that she had been the one
to write them.
"Sav called yelling at me.  He was furious.  Phil told them about Steve and
me.  About our trips.  All the things he promised to keep secret he told
them at a drop of the hat."
She knew that wasn't true. He didn't tell them everything. The only people
that knew everything were Phil and her. They were the only ones left that
had actually lived through it.
"I know I'm going to hell, there's no sense in kidding myself. But I
guarantee Steve will be waiting for me with open arms, ready to party like
never before."
And that was the last entry. She had almost done the very same thing as most
of her friends from the 80's. But at the time, that really did seem like the
answer. What a sad, sad way to go out.
She closed the book and stared at it. That was not the Mackenzie that she
was today. The person that wrote those words was a monster. And she was the
one who was in love with Rick Savage. It was time to say goodbye to
Mackenzie Thomas forever.

The kids were extremely worried about their parents as the end of the week
approached, and they still were not talking. Even worse than them not
speaking was the fact that they weren't even staying in the same room
together.
"I hope you're pleased with yourself!" Morgan spat at Taylor.
"I didn't mean to split them up like this, Mor. I swear." He pleaded with
her.
"I'm tellin' you now, if my parents divorce I'm never speakin' to you
again!" And with that, she stormed out to the beach.
 
 

Taylor walked into his father's house with a bag over his shoulder. Paige
looked up from cooking dinner and then looked over at her husband.
"Back from LA?" Sav raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah." He sighed. "It all right if I crash 'ere for a while?"
"It's always all right, but you live with your Mum." He stood to meet him.
He shook his head. "I can't stay there at the moment. All Morgan and I do
lately is fight about our Dads."
"When did you start that? Your Mum's probably…"
"She's busy fightin' with Phil over it."
"They're fightin'?" His mouth dropped. "Since when?"
"All bloody week!" He walked to the stairs.
He turned to Paige and then grabbed the phone.

"Where'd Tay run off to?" Kenz walked down the stairs from unpacking.
"Don't know. He an' Mor 'ad another row." Phil tied his running shoes.
She turned to Cameron. "Did he say anythin' to you?"
"He said that he was better off at his Dad's." Jordyn spoke.
Leave it to the youngest to tattle on the rest, Kenz thought. "He said
that?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Maybe it's best for a while." Phil grabbed his jacket.
"And how do you suppose that is?" She crossed her arms as the phone rang.
He rolled his eyes and picked up the phone. "Yeah?"
"Aye, Phil." Sav spoke.
Anger shot from his eyes as he looked over at Kenz. "It's for you!" He
dropped the phone on the floor and then walked out the door.
She sighed and picked up the phone. "Is Tay there?" She quickly spoke.
"Yeah, but what was that about?"
"A lot, Rick. I'd like to start off with why you told our son that you were
still in love with me."
"Aw, fuck!" He rubbed his face. "He told you that?"
"Is it true?"
"I don't think we should discuss this on the phone, Kenz."
"Why? Have to wait until the wife's not listening?"
"Kenz…"
"I'm not into havin' fuckin' déjà vu for the fourth bloody time, Sav! What
you feel is your own damned business! Leave my boy out of it!" She hung up
the phone and looked up to see Nat standing in the doorway. "Don't hover,
Natalie. Come in or go 'ome." She placed the phone on the charger.
"Don't take that tone with me, Missy." She crossed her arms.
"Piss off." She mumbled under her breath.
"Cammy? Jordy? Why don't you go and play with Jas? She's got a new water
game and Uncle Joe can play in the pool with you."
The kids looked at their mother. "It's okay, go on." She waved them off.
"Where's Morgan?"
"Her room recovering from a fight with Taylor." She sighed. "They can both
be so brutal to each other!"
"They get it honestly, Kenz." She sat next to her at the bar.
She looked up at her.  "He's doin' it again, Nat."
"Sav?" She rested her hands on the counter top.
"After all these years he's suddenly in love with me again."
"Again? I hate to be the one to break you from your dream world, Kenz. But
he always has been."
"Yeah, but he's trying to use Taylor to get us back together."
"You're sure about that?"
"Why else would he tell Taylor all those things and get his hopes up?"
"Why would he get his hopes up unless his mother feels the same?"
"That's not fair, Nat."
"My God, Kenzie. What the hell is goin' on in that head of yours?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'm just over analyzing everything."
"What is there to analyze? You and Phil have three great kids and another
one on the way. You two are so good together. Don't fuck it up by pushing
Phil away."
"I just feel… there's some things I need to tell Rick before I bury it all
up. Things that I need to get out once and for all. It's not going to be
pleasant."
"What does Phil say 'bout that?"
"He hates it." She nodded her head. "I'm not exactly sure I can go through
with it, but I need to try."
Nat shook her head. "I have a very bad feeling about this."
"I just wish you all would trust me."
"Like we trusted you in New York?"
"That was different!"
"Was it?" She stood up. "Was it really?" She walked out the door.
 
 
 

Kenz got the kids ready and off to school and then sat down for her own
breakfast. She heard footsteps on the stairs and looked up to see that Phil
was in a nice shirt and slacks. "Where are you headed to?"
"You 'ave a doctor's appointment t'day." He walked to the refrigerator and
pulled out the cream for his coffee. "I didn't miss any of the others, and I
won't miss any for this one."
She couldn't help but smile at him. "I love you."
"I know." He kissed her cheek and walked back into the kitchen.
"We still goin' to that party thing in Sheffield next weekend?"
"As far as I know." He sighed. "Makes us sound like a bunch of old codgers,
givin' us a lifetime achievement award."
"But… you are." She giggled.
"Not too old, apparently." He walked by and swatted her ass.
"I think I've changed my mind about bringin' the kids. Maybe it should just
be you and me." She looked at him as he sat next to her.
"I think that's okay."
"Good." She stood and carried her dishes to the kitchen. "I'll be ready in a
bit."
"I'll be 'ere." He sighed as he opened the paper.

Kenz sat in Taylor's classroom and waited, along with the teacher, for Sav.
She rolled her eyes as she looked at her watch. "I'm sorry he's late. I was
sure he'd remember."
"No bother." She tapped her pen on her desk.
Just then, he rushed in. "Sorry I'm late." He shook the teacher's hand.
"Rick Savage."
"Bridget O'Mara." She nodded her head.
He looked at Kenz only to get daggers thrown his way. "Sorry." He flinched.
She huffed and returned her attention to the teacher. "Your son's grades
have been slipping for the past few weeks. He seems disinterested in the
classes that he used to take an extreme liking in. I was wondering if either
of you could think of anything that was happening at home to bring on such a
drastic change."
Kenz looked at her hands. "He's been fighting with his half-sister a lot. So
much that he packed up and went to his father's house for a while." She
pointed to Sav.
"And what does he do there?" She turned to Sav.
"Eat and sleep, basically. He's usually at 'is girlfriend's house."
"You don't talk to him?" Kenz turned on him.
"He's not there long enough to talk, Kenz."
"When's the last time he spoke with his sister?" The teacher asked.
"When we got back from holiday, two weeks ago." Kenz rubbed her forehead.
"He calls me every day after school, though."
"And yet you live in Joe's back yard." Sav rolled his eyes.
"There's no sense in pointing finger here."
"You 'ave no idea." Kenz growled.
"That wasn't my fault." Sav looked at her.
"I need to go. I'll talk to Taylor and we will work things out. I promise."
She stood and walked out of the room. As she reached her car, Sav ran up
behind her.
"Kenz, we need to talk about this."
"I've said all I have to say at the moment!" She opened her door.
"We need to stick t'gether for our son."
"All our son wants is for us to get back together." She spat. "And that
isn't going to happen."
"Why so negative?" He smiled, playfully.
"You really want slapped, don't you?" She threw her purse into the car.
"Calm down." He chuckled.
"Richard, unless you've failed to notice, I'm not laughing! My family is
falling to pieces at the moment and I'm trying to put it back together!"
"Why is it bothering you so much?"
"My kids fighting?"
"No. Findin' out what I told Taylor."
"Because! You shouldn't tell a 15 year old stuff like that!"
"And that's why you let them read your journal? That makes sense!"
"I found out too late that they had seen in!"
"Does it matter, Kenz? If you didn't still 'ave feelings for me, wouldn't
you 'ave just blown it off?"
"No. Because you're just gonna do it again and again! It's the way you work!
I should know!"
"What the bloody 'ell are you gabbin' about?"
"This is the fourth time, Rick. Every time you made a move in the past, it
was when you were committed to someone else. Juli, Elisha, Dara… and now
Paige. You really are a sick bastard, ya know it?"
"You didn't 'ave to sleep with me, ya know. You could've just said no."
She shook her head. "No I couldn't."
"Because you loved me. An' I think you still do!"
"That's what you get for thinkin', then!" She moved to climb into the car.
"Then kiss me." He placed his hand on hers.
"Excuse me?" Her eyes widened.
"Kiss me."
"You have a death wish, don't you?" She pulled her hand away.
"You're afraid you'll like it."
"No, I'm afraid my husband will kill you if he ever finds out you just said
that." She slid into her car and left.
 
 

Phil was waiting for her when she walked in. "How'd it go?"
"Terrible." She sighed. "He's letting Taylor come and go as he pleases. He's
not even askin' him how his day was every day. And I'm gonna kill Nat for
not tellin' me that he's over at her house more than anyplace else in
Ireland!"
"He's got a girlfriend, Kenz. It's normal."
"Is it normal for him to go from an A student to straight C's? I think not.
And it's all Sav's fault!" She pouted.
"Not entirely, love." He raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah, well that's my story!"
"You 'aven't seen this yet, though." He handed her one of Cameron's tests.
There was a big F on the top. "He 'as to get it signed and retake it in a
week."
"What next, Phil?" She threw her hands in the air.
"Morgan cut class today."
"Stop! Enough!" She paced. "We need a family meeting."
"There's no time this week, Kenz. And we leave Thursday afternoon anyway."
"Ugh!" She ran her fingers through her hair. "Fine. Next week. We set the
ENTIRE family down and have it out. Got it?"
"That means us too."
She nodded her head. "Fine. Now, I'm going to bed." She walked up the
stairs.
"G'night." He waved from the living room.
"Aw, come on, Phil. Can't we at least pretend like we still like each
other?" She stopped at the top step.
"Did you and Sav talk t'night?"
"Yelled was more like it." She rolled her eyes.
"Did you tell him to back off?"
She searched the ceiling before answering. "Kinda."
"Night, Kenz." He walked down to his music room.
"Damn it." She whined as she walked to their bedroom.
 
 

Kenz tossed and turned that night, unable to sleep. She rolled onto her side
and stared at Phil's vacant side of the bed. She reached her hand out and
touched the spot that he used to occupy. It had been nearly three weeks
since he last slept in the same bed with her. The loneliness was slowly
taking its toll on her. All she wanted was for things to go back the way
they were. They were a happy family until they told the kids about her past.
Why did it always seem like everyone was much better off not knowing about
the old Kenzie at all?
The grumbling of her stomach reminded her that she had forgotten to eat that
night. She looked down at her stomach and smiled. "I bet you're hungry. Why
don't we go and take care of that, huh?"
She walked down to the kitchen and threw a bag of popcorn into the
microwave. She then searched the refrigerator for something to drink. Orange
juice. She pulled it out of the refrigerator and turned around to see Phil
standing at the bar.
"Midnight cravings already?"
"I forgot to eat tonight." She looked away and reached for a glass. "Want
some?"
"Sure." He sighed as he sat down and watched her. "How've you been feelin'?"
"Oh, you're interested?" She smarted.
"Yes Kenz, I am." He huffed.
She sat a glass of juice in front of him and poured her own. "Just tired."
"Still got morning sickness?"
"Why don't you sleep in your own room and find out for yourself?" She took a
sip of her own juice.
"You've yet to promise me that everything's okay." He stared at her as the
bell of the microwave went off.
"Maybe if I had reassurance from you that it was okay, I would."
"I can't just sit by and wait for you to make up your mind."
"I thought I did make up my mind. You remember? 14 years ago?"
"Then why are you pushin' me away?"
"I'm tryin' to get you back, Phil."
He shook his head. "Tell me what you were thinking. The night that Taylor
told you about Sav."
Tears filled her eyes as she looked up at him. "Do you really wanna know?"
"I think I deserve to know, Kenzie."
She took a deep breath. "I thought about me. What a monster Mackenzie Thomas
was. And that it was she that was in love with Rick Savage. Not the person
that's standing before you right now."
"Kenzie." He whispered as he choked back tears of his own.
"I'm in love with you, Phil. We connect in a way that I've never had with
anyone else." She took a step back. "But I still think of him. And I don't
know why. And until I do…" She shook her head. "I think it's time for Rick
to 'ave a wakeup call. He needs to decide once and for all who the woman
that he loves is… if she even exists anymore."
"An' what if you get swept up in the process?"
"That's just something that you're gonna have to trust me on." She wiped
under her eyes.
He stared at his glass. "I don't wanna lose you, Kenz. And the thought of
you bein' with him again… makes my blood boil."
"I know." She whispered. "And I would never in a million years to that to
you."
"We did it to him, right?"
"Phil…"
"You were pregnant with Morgan before your divorce was even final. We made
that decision together and I knew it tore him apart. But I also knew that
bein' with you was worth it."
"What are you sayin'?"
"You reap what you sew, right? Maybe it's my turn to suffer?"
"Don't say that."
"Doesn't look like we 'ave much of a choice."
"Is this what it's all about? You've felt guilty all these years for us
being together? For getting married?"
"I'm afraid that he'll snap 'is fingers, say he wants you back, and you'll
leave me."
"You don't think much of your wife, then."
"I think the world of 'er." He wiped under his eyes. "It's happened time
after time, Kenz. Why wouldn't it happen this time?"
"Because I wasn't with you the other times."
"I wish I could believe that made a difference."
"So I need to prove myself to you? Is that what you're sayin'?"
"I guess so."
"Well fuck you, then!" She slammed her glass on the counter.
"Kenzie." He grabbed her arm.
"If you loved me as much as you say you do, I wouldn't have to prove a damn
thing!" She pulled her arm away. "I don't need you to raise my kids! And I
don't need you to 'ave this baby! And I certainly don't need any man to sit
there and dictate to me how I should love him!" She ran up the stairs and
slammed the door to her room.
"Shit!" Phil collapsed onto the bar and cried.
 
 

"Oh, shit." Nat sighed as she looked out of the kitchen window.
"What?" Joe walked in.
"Kenz is running alone again." She handed him the skillet she had in her
hands.
"I'll get breakfast…" He looked at the carton of eggs on the counter. "I
guess." He looked up as he heard the front door slam.
"Where's Mum?" Jayla walked in.
"Runnin' with Aunt Kenzie." He placed the skillet on the counter.
"You're not cooking, are you?" Jasmine walked in.
"No!" Jayla's eyes widened.
"Hell no! Get your coats. We'll go to McDonald's and then I'll take you to
school."
"Thank God." The girls both praised the ceiling before running to their
rooms.

"Kenz!" Nat caught up with her.
"Hey, Nat." She smiled.
"You and Phil still fightin'?"
"Nah, we actually talked last night." She looked toward the road that they
were heading to.
"Then why isn't he with you?"
"He was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him." She lied.
"Oh." She watched her. "So, what are the plans for this weekend?"
"Paige wants to go shoppin'." She rolled her eyes.
"I take it she hasn't been to Sheffield much." Nat giggled.
"I think we should take her pub hoppin'. Break her in a bit."
"Not much fun when you're pregnant and can't drink, though. Don't you
think?"
"A few won't hurt." She smiled.
"What's wrong with you?" She slowed down.
"Not a thing, why?" She looked at her.
"You can't look me in the eye for one thing."
She stopped completely and then shook her hands in front of her. "I'm sorry.
It's just that… I'm just a bit antsy."
"Excuse me?" She felt her face loose it's color.
"I just need to get out of here for a while, ya know? Between the baby, the
kids, all of the fighting, and everything, I just need a break."
"I thought that's what your holiday was for?"
"So did I." She rolled her eyes.
"Have you told Phil how you're feelin'?"
She sighed. "No."
"Why don't you…"
"I'll talk to him when I'm ready." She crossed her arms.
"Look at me, Kenz." She took her hands. "Deep breath, okay? We'll let loose
this weekend and you and Phil can make up. You two need time to yourselves
for a few days. Then it'll all be okay, right?"
She nodded her head. "Right." She smiled. "Thanks for the talk."
"Anytime." She winked as they turned to walk back to their houses.
 
 

Sav walked into Joe's and looked around. He heard Nat's voice from her
office and walked towards it. He then heard Joe. He stopped at the door and
listened.
"I'm over my head, Joe. The only person she's ever been able to trust during
these little episodes, she's not talking to. That leaves me and I've never
been able to do a damn to pull her out of a binge."
"Binge? She's not…"
"No. At least, I don't think so. No, I'm sure she's not. But she's reaching
out to me and I can't let her down."
"What if you talked to Phil?"
"What if that does more damage than good this time? They've never fought
like this before and honestly think that he might be part of the problem."
"And Taylor, and Morgan, and the baby, and Sav…" Joe sighed.
"Cammy's doin' poorly in school… it's a bottomless pit of problems at the
Collen house right now."
"What about Sav?"
"What about him?" She growled.
"Maybe it's his turn to try?"
"What? So Phil can blow a gasket? You do have a reunion tour to plan,
remember?"
"My only other solution is an intervention. Group therapy. Sit her down and
make her talk. And we all know how happy she'll be about that one."
"Delighted." She sighed.
Sav ran his fingers through his hair and then quietly slipped out of the
house.
 
 

Phil was on the phone with one of his friends from LA when Kenz walked into
the den. She leaned against the door frame and watched him for a few
minutes. He paused from his conversation and looked up at her. "What?"
"Um… I have a PTO meetin' in town. I won't be back for a while."
"Need a ride?" He tried in some way to make up with her.
"No thanks." She turned and quickly left.

She walked into the pub and looked around for her group. She had to smile at
the thought of the parent's meeting at the pub while the kids were in
school. God, she loved Ireland.
"Mackenzie!" One of her friends waved.
"Aye, Seana." She sat next to her and pulled her planner out. "How are the
twins?"
"I'm drinkin' t'day." She sighed.
"Deep breaths, love." She patted her shoulder.
"Looks like we have a new daddy in the parent's club." Una pointed to the
door.
"The more the merrier…" Kenz looked up to see Sav looking around.
Her eyes widened as she quickly stood to her feet. "Sav! What are you doin'
'ere?"
"Parent meetin', right?" He smiled.
"Uh… yeah." She turned to the group. "Ladies, Rick Savage. Taylor's father.
These are Seana, Una, Aileen, Brid, Doreen, Keegan, Siobhán, Ronan and Tom."
"Hi." He smiled as he looked around the table.
"Time to order beers, then!" Ronan walked toward the bar.
"Water for me!" Kenz yelled out.
"The usual!" Brid rolled her eyes. "You need to loosed up, lass."
"She can't." Sav smiled. "She and Phil are havin' a lit'le one."
"Another?" Doreen yelped.
"Bet'er you than me, love." Siobhan giggled. "I stopped at two."
"Anyway!" Kenz opened her planner and read over her notes. "Eight year old
girls slumber party is still on for next Friday. It's at my house and so far
my 13 year old daughter and two of her friends are helpin' out. Any other
volunteers?"
"Not unless you decide to stock your bar." Brid mumbled.
"Soccer game that night, Kenz. Or I would." Keegan smiled.
"I'm sure you would." She laughed.
The meeting lasted nearly two hours, mainly due to the fact that the men
were all drunk.
"I need to get 'ome." Kenz stood while laughing. "Same place, same time,
four weeks."
"Aye!" They all yelled.
"G'bye, ya drunks!" She walked toward the door.
"Kenz, wait up!" Sav followed her out to her car. "Are they always that
fun?"
"One of Dublin's best kept secrets. Parent meetin's." She giggled. "I'm glad
you came. I think it'll do Taylor good to 'ave his Dad involved in his
school."
"Speakin' of… you wanna go catch his practice? I don't 'ave anything else to
do this afternoon."
She watched him for a moment. "Sure."
"Follow me there." He pulled his keys out of his pocket and ran to his car.
 
 

Taylor  looked up to see both of his parents sitting on the bleachers as he practiced.  He reached for Jayla and pointed to them. "Look at that."

"Who  died?" She whispered.

"This  can't be good." He swallowed hard and then returned to kicking  practice.

"I  wonder what he's thinkin' right now." Kenz looked out at the field as a cool  Irish breeze blew through her hair.

"Holy  shit, what are they doin' 'ere?" Sav chuckled.

"Probably."  She giggled.

He  watched her for a moment. "I want to apologize about the other night. I was way  out of line."

"Accepted."  Her gaze remained on her son. "The question remains… what are we gonna do about  him and Morgan? They 'aven't talked in a few weeks."

"Family  meetin'?" He leaned against the step behind him.

"We've  planned on one for next week." She smiled at him. "Can you make  it?"

"I  will." He met her smile.

"Thanks  for the invite. I think this was a good idea."

"Well,  sometimes you just got'a get away, you know?"

She  sighed and once again looked out at the team. "More than you can  imagine."

Phil  paced the floor as he looked at the clock.

"Daddy,  I'm hungry." Cameron complained as he ran in from the play  room.

"I  was waitin' for your Mum to get 'ome." He sighed.

"Can  you call and tell her to hurry?" Jordyn followed.

"Sure."  He smiled and walked to the phone. He dialed her cell phone and waited.

"Hi,  this is Mackenzie Collen. Please leave a message."

He  hung up and redialed.

"Hello?"  Nat answered.

"Nat,  Kenz there?"

"Nope.  The parent meeting might have run over. She usually leaves when they start  getting' drunk, though." She giggled.

"Why  didn't you go?"

"Jas  had a doctor's appointment this afternoon, why?"

"Never  mind. Thanks." He hung up and resumed his path through the house. "C'mon, we're  goin' for McDonalds."

"Yea!"  They followed him out the door.

"Hey,  Mom!" Taylor hugged his mother after practice.

"Aye,  kiddo!" She smiled at him. "Lookin' good out there."

"Thanks."  He looked at his father. "What brings you two 'ere?"

"Just  thought we'd come and watch." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Cool."  He sat down in front of them. "Wanna go out for pizza?"

"Sure."  Sav looked at Kenz.

"I  need to call and check first." She looked at her watch. "Cammy an' Jordyn are  probably drivin' Phil crazy by now."

"Probably."  He smiled.

"I'll  be right back." She walked to her car and pulled out her cell phone. She noticed  that she had missed a call from home and pressed the button to return the call.  It rang four times and then the answering machine picked up. "Ello, you've  reached the Collen's plus one Savage. Please leave a message and we'll get back  to you as soon as we can."

"Hey,  it's me. You've probably given up and gone to the golden arches by now, so I'm  gonna have pizza with Taylor and Sav. Be home later. Love you all. Bye." She  hung up and sighed before rejoining them. "Looks like we're eatin'  pizza."

Phil was sitting at a table with his kids when Morgan slid into the seat
next to Cameron. "Hey, Pop!" She stole a few of her little brother's French
fries.
"Where've you been?" He raised his eyebrows.
"Study group at Tristy's."
"Why study if you don't bother to go to school?" He huffed.
"I already got the third degree from Mum this mornin', I don't need it from
you, okay?"
"I think you need to step back and remember who you're talkin' to, Morgan
Elizabeth."
Jordyn's eyes grew wide as she looked at her brother. Dad used her middle
name.
"Sorry." She sighed. "Where is she, by the way?"
"I was kinda hopin' you'd know that." He looked at her.
She looked past him through the window and thought a moment. "Today was
parent meetin'."
"Yeah, she left about 2:00. Said she'd be a while, but damn." He ran his
fingers through his hair.
"You call Aunt Nat?"
"She didn't go t'day."
"You stop by the pub?"
"Why would she be there?"
"That's where they have the meetin's, Dad. The parents get tanked while
plannin' our stuff and then they complain about what brats we are." She
giggled. "They go to the Clover Inn. I guarantee that if you go there now,
Mrs. Rielly and Mrs. Laird are still goin' on about their kids."
"Mr. McCuen and Mr. O'Brien are probably watchin' the tele and takin' bets."
Cameron laughed.
"I didn't know Dads went to those." He looked around.
"Mummy asks you all the time if you wanna go." Jordyn batted her blue eyes
at him.
"She does." Morgan nodded.
"Great." He looked at Cameron.

Kenz walked into the house and looked around. Morgan was on the phone with
one of her friends and the two youngest were in their pajamas, wrestling in
the den.
"I thought you were grounded from the phone?" She dropped her keys on the
counter and pointed to Morgan.
"Shite. Busted. See ya tomorrow." She hung up. "Mum…" She whined.
"Show me an A on your next test and you can resume the peckin'." She kissed
her forehead and took the phone away.
Phil barreled into the kitchen and immediately pounced on her. "Where've you
been?"
"Exactly where I said I was." She watched him.
"No you weren't. We stopped by the pub on our way 'ome from McDonalds."
She pointed to the flashing light on the recorder. "Why don't you listen to
the message and get off my arse?" She looked at Morgan and then back to him.
"Sav and I took Taylor out to dinner."
"Why?"
"He showed up at the parent meetin' and we decided to catch our son's
practice!" She angered. "I called to see about dinner and you were gone, so
we took 'im out!"
"Fuck." He looked away.
"I didn't think I needed your blessed permission to see my own son!" She
glared at him as he turned to the kitchen. "Don't you dare pick a fight and
then walk away!"
"Give me a little credit, Kenz! I just didn't listen to the bloody machine!
I'm sorry!"
"You know what?" She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "My day was
fabulous until you walked in ruined it." She walked up to her room and
slammed the door.
He closed his eyes and then looked at the kids. "I'm sorry you guys. I
shouldn't have yelled at her and I'm sorry you 'ad to see that."
"Does it bother you that she was with Uncle Sav?" Morgan watched him.
"A little, yeah. But I know she's tryin' to get things worked out between
you and your big brother."
"Then why don't you go up and kiss 'er arse? She might just forgive you."
He smiled at her. "Worth a try, I suppose. Right?"
"I think so."

Kenz walked into the bathroom and drew a nice bubble bath. She left her
clothes piled in the bedroom and pulled her hair up as she slid into the
whirlpool.
"Oh God, yeah." She moaned as she laid back into the bubbles. She reached
her foot up and hit the button for the water jets with her big toe. "Maybe
I'll just stay 'ere this weekend." She mumbled as she closed her eyes and
placed a warm washcloth over them. "Glass of wine and I'd be set." She
yawned.

Phil peeked into their bedroom and looked around. He saw the clothes on the
floor and closed the door behind him. He then walked to the bathroom door
and smiled. God, she was still as beautiful as ever.

She thought back to her night with Sav and Taylor. That man was definitely
up to something, but what? He was being entirely too… too… nice. What was he
up to? He wore the black leather jacket that she absolutely loved to see him
in, he even went without his glasses for once, so that she could see his
eyes. Those eyes… God, she still loved those eyes.

"Kenz?" Phil whispered.
"Huh?" She was startled from her thoughts as she lifted the washcloth from
her eyes. "Somethin' wrong?"
"Yeah." He sat on the edge of the tub. "I'm sorry." He looked down at her.
"Last thing I wanted to do was fight again with you and it was my fault."
She sighed and looked up at him. "Maybe Nat's right. We just need to make
the most of our time together this weekend."
"I think that would be good." He absently ran his finger through a bubble.
"'Cause I kinda miss you."
"You think?" She huffed. "God, Phil. We haven't had sex since the night
before we left for LA."
"Tell me you miss me and I'll remedy that for ya." He smiled at her.
"Kiss me and I'll think about it." She licked her bottom lip.
"You twisted me arm." He leaned over and did just that.
 
 

The kids stood at the base of the stairs and waited.
"It's quiet." Cameron whispered.
"Maybe they're makin' up?" Jordyn whispered back.
"That means I'll not get any sleep t'night." Morgan rolled her eyes. "Why
don't we all get in bed? Let them 'ave time to themselves?"
They all began to walk up the stairs.
"Morgie? Are Mummy and Daddy going to leave?" Jordyn asked as she reached
her door.
"No, Jordy. They're just in a rough spot at the moment. Everything will be
back to normal soon. I promise." She kissed her cheek and then walked to her
room. Once there, she snuggled into her bed, placed her headphones on her
head, and pondered the same question.

Phil had pulled his clothes off and slipped into the tub. He leaned against
the headrest as Kenz straddled his lap.
"What about the kids?" She whispered as he kissed her neck.
"Morgan'll take care of them." He pushed his way inside her.
She moaned as she closed her eyes. Her mind floated away somewhere else. To
another time and place. Another tub, down the street. Another set of arms.
Another body. She opened her eyes. Another set of blue eyes staring back at
her.
"What are you thinkin' about?" Phil whispered.
"Huh?" She snapped from her daze. God, what was she doing? Think of
something, quick! "Just enjoyin' you." She kissed him.
He knew she was lying. There was something between them that he had never
felt before. There was no connection. No spark when they made love. No
passion. She was merely going through the motions.
"Why don't we take this into the bedroom, aye? More cushions in there." He
kissed her.
"Okay." She smiled.

Morgan looked over photos of her parents from the last 14 years. They seemed
happy together. And when Def Leppard decided to take a hiatus five years
ago, they started their own record label. "Phil's Sweat Shop" was stamped on
many a CD these days.
What had changed? What was so bad that they couldn't stand to be in the same
room anymore? And what could she do to get her parents back together. For
good?

Phil grabbed Kenz's towel and threw it across the floor as he pushed her
back on the bed. He laid beside her and stroked her cheek while looking into
her eyes. "I love you so much, Kenzie. I'd die if I lost you."
"Shhh." She placed her fingers to his lips. "Let's not talk about it." She
kissed him.
They began to once again make love. She closed her eyes as he pushed deeper
inside her. "Oh!" She wrapped her legs around his waist as he kissed her
shoulder.

Morgan took her headphones off and listened to the room. She heard her
mother moan and a smile rose to her lips. They made up. Maybe things weren't
so bad after all. A huge grin developed as she replaced her headphones and
turned the light out.

"Ahh!" Kenz yelled as she dug her fingers into Phil's back.
"I love it when you do that!" He closed his eyes as he lost control of his
body. "Oh!" He thrust one more time as she exploded around him.
They laid there for a moment, in each other's arms, panting and sweaty. He
reached down and pulled the covers over them and turned out the light as
they snuggled and prepared to sleep. She was quickly out as he watched her
sleep. This was a great beginning to their weekend together. Maybe they
could work things out after all.
He closed his eyes and kissed her forehead. "I love you Kenzie." He
whispered.
"I love you too, Rick." She mumbled.
 
 
 
 

Kenz woke up the next morning to the sound of Cameron and Jordyn fighting at
the kitchen table. She sat up and looked around. Phil was gone. Maybe he got
up early to get the kids off to school. She grabbed her robe and ran
downstairs.
"Mornin'." She smiled at Morgan.
"You're certainly chipper today." She giggled.
"Hush." She looked at the two who were slapping at one another. "Hey! What's
goin' on?"
"Cammy stole my fruit bar!" Jordyn cried.
"She never eats them!" He argued.
"Cam, just get up and get another, please?" She poured herself a glass of
juice.
"Fine!" He pouted and walked into the kitchen as Jordyn stuck her tongue out
at him.
"Jordyn Colleen!" Kenz tried not to laugh.
"So where's Dad?" Morgan turned to her mother.
"I thought he was down here?" She looked around.
"Maybe he's picking Grandpa up from the airport?" Cameron returned with a
fruit bar in his hand.
"Aw, hell!" Kenz smacked her head. "I completely forgot my own Dad at the
airport!"
"Good thing I didn't." Phil walked in with Roger and Alex behind him.
"Thanks." Kenz winked at him.
He turned and walked to the kitchen.
"Phil?" She turned after him, but was caught by a hug from her father.
"Aye, Kenz." Roger kissed her. "You look tired."
"Just a little worn out." She smiled as she moved to hug her step-mother.
"Well you two go on and 'ave fun this weekend." Alex smiled. "We'll take
care of everything."
"Can you keep an eye on Taylor too? He'll be at Sav's house alone."
"Not to worry." Roger winked at her. "You go on up and get ready. We'll get
the kids off to school."
"Thanks." She gave each of her kids a kiss. "Be good for me?"
"Always!" Morgan laughed.
"Oh, and she's still grounded from the phone." Phil peeked out of the
kitchen.
"Dad!" She huffed.
"Ha!" Kenz pointed to her. "Behave, please." She kissed her cheek.
"Yes, Mum." She sighed.
"Are you packed?" Kenz turned to Phil.
"Did it last night." He looked away from her.
"What's wrong?" She pulled him into the kitchen.
"I really don't wanna get into it right now."
"When let's go upstairs."
"Just drop it, Kenz. Can ya do that for once?" He walked out into the den.
She was left in the kitchen, dazed. What had happened between last night and
right now? Why was he so angry? She slowly walked to her room and closed the
door behind her.
 
 

Once they were in Sheffield, they were whisked away to a private party. Kenz
made her way around the tent and found a lot of the people she knew from way
back when.
"Brian!" She squealed when she saw Sav's brother.
"Kenzie." He kissed her on the cheek. "I haven't seen you in ages! How's our
boy?"
"He's great." She smiled. "Acts more like his father every day."
"Guess we'll 'ave to remedy that then, aye?" He laughed as Sav joined them.
"I heard that!" He laughed as he hugged his brother.

Phil watched from across the room. He had a deep scowl on his face as he
stared at his wife with her ex-husband. Joe quietly walked up to him and
handed him a beer.
"Looks like you need this." He watched him.
"Thanks." He growled.
"You and Kenz still at it?"
"Fuck, I don't know anymore, Joe." He took a long drink.
"Wanna talk?"
"No, I don't."
"Might do you some good to get it off your chest."
"That might take longer than you're willin' to work at." He looked at him.
"C'mon, we'll go out and get tanked t'night. We deserve it, right?"
He nodded his head and then looked down at his beer.
"It'll be okay, Phil. Everything'll work out."
"I don't think so. Not this time." He returned his gaze to Kenz. She was now
talking to Rick's brother Geoff. "I'm ready to leave."
"T'night, mate." He patted his shoulder.

"Okay, Phil and Joe are goin' to the pub tonight." Nat spoke to Kenz as they
left the party. "What are we going to do?"
"I think I'm going to the hotel." Kenz rubbed her side. "I'm not feeling too
well at the moment."
"You okay?"
"Just… getting too old to have babies, that's all." She tried to smile for
her.
"Promise that's all?" Nat probed.
"I swear." She looked at her.
"You two getting along any better?"
"I have no idea." She sighed. "We kinda made up last night, and we even
slept together in the first time since we started fighting. But then… he's
acting funny today. I don't understand it."
"Maybe Joe can get to the bottom of it."
"Can't hurt, right?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"Aye, mates!" Rick joined Joe and Phil when he saw them at the pub.
"Aye!" Joe waved at him.
"Figured Kenzie'd be out t'night." He smiled as he waved at the bar tender.
Joe shook his head and ran his finger across his throat.
"Fuck Kenzie!" Phil swayed as he tried desperately to sit on the bar stool.
Joe pouted and shook his head.

Kenz hung up from calling to check on the kids and leaned back onto the bed.
She rubbed her face and contemplated taking a mild painkiller for the cramps
that she had been having all day. The theory was that every pregnancy is
different, but this one was nothing like her other four. She had never been
in pain like this before.
She tried a warm bath, lying on her left side, she even tried a few sips of
wine, but nothing helped. She picked up her cell phone and dialed.

"What's up with him?" Rick asked after Phil had staggered onto the dance
floor with a brunette.
"He and Kenz 'ave been fightin' over Sav." He sighed. "Story is that our
Taylor let it slip to 'is mother that Sav was still in love with 'er."
"So? We all knew that." He huffed.
"Well, apparently…" He looked around and then leaned in. "Kenz called out
Mr. Savage's name last night."
Rick's mouth dropped open as he stared at him. "Oh…A… fuck!" He finally
spoke. He then shook his head and looked out into the direction Phil was. "I
need a beer after that one."
"Un, huh." He waved the bartender over. "Three more, mate."

"C'mon, Philip. Answer." Kenz pleaded with the phone. She made it through to
the voice mail for the third time and then threw the phone across the room.
She decided to call Joe's cell.
"Joe Elliott, sex God, how may I help you?" He answered.
"Aye, Joe." Kenz gritted her teeth. "My husband around?"
"He's in the loo." He lied.
"It's really important."
"He'll be back later, love."
"Please, Joe. It's…"
"He deserves a night out, Kenz. See ya later." He hung up.
"Fuck!" She threw the phone across the room. She stood up and grabbed her
robe, only to be overcome by a dizzy spell. She placed her hand on the wall
and took a few deep breaths before walking to the door.

Sav was coming back from the ice machine when he saw Kenz staggering down
the hall toward Nat and Joe's room. "Kenz?" He dropped the bucket of ice he
was carrying and caught her as her body went limp. "Nat!" He carried her to
the door and knocked. He listened and heard her hairdryer from inside.
"C'mon, love." He carried her back to her room.

Nat walked out of her room headed for the bar downstairs. She noticed the
melted ice and bucket on the floor and felt a chill run down her spine. She
pulled her cell phone from her pocket and dialed.
"Joe Elliott, Ladies Man, what's your pleasure?" He answered.
"You are absolutely gone!" She giggled. "Where're you guys at? I might join
you."
"No bother. Phil's way outta control and we're on our way back." He chuckled
as he heard laughter in the background.
"Do you really think this was a good idea? I'm worried about Kenzie."
"It's way worse than you could imagine, Nat. She done and said some things…"
"Don't judge her, Joe. You remember what happened last time we did that."
"I do believe she's the guilty party this go."
"Enough about Kenzie!" Phil yelled into the phone. "Piss on 'er!"
"Fabulous." Nat rubbed her face. "Be careful please?"
"Always!" Joe laughed. "See you in a bit!"

Kenz opened her eyes to see those gorgeous blue ones watching her every
move. "Where did you come from?" She looked around the room.
"Caught you as you tried to nose dive in the hall." He pushed a strand of
hair from her eyes. "You okay?"
"I think so." She looked away from him. "Pregnant lady stuff, that's all."
"You don't look so good, Kenz." He ran his thumb along her cheek. "What are
you hidin'?"
"Nothing." She clenched her eyes shut, trying not to cry.
"It's no secret that you an' Phil are…"
"Are what?" She looked up at him. "Because he's not talking to me for some
reason."
"Fighting." He nodded his head.
"I don't know what's goin' on anymore." She finally let loose. It was if the
damn broke. She couldn't control her emotions as she began to cry. "He was
fine last night! And now… he was so angry this mornin'… I don't know what I
did…"
"Shhh." He held her as she sobbed into his chest. "It's okay."
"Somethin's happened between us, Rick. All I want is my husband back!"
"It's okay." He kissed her hair. "I'm here, Kenz. Talk to me."
"I love him so much!" She sobbed.
"I know." He looked at the wall and sighed.
"But I still love you too, and I don't know what to do about that."
Every muscle in his body went weak as he struggled to breathe. "What was
that?" He pulled away and looked into her eyes.
"I told you a long time ago that I'd always love you. And I still do." She
sighed.
"I love you too, Kenzie." Tears filled his own eyes.
"I don't think you do." She shook her head. "I think you're in love with the
old me. And that person doesn't exist anymore."
"I think that person will always exist." He ran his finger down her nose.
"No matter how hard you try to push her to the back of your mind."
"I can't let her." She shook her head. "To this day… you have no idea of
some of the things I've done."
"I doubt that you can shock me." He smiled.
"Wanna make a little wager?" She raised her eyebrow.
"Shoot." He nodded.
"When we were together on the Hysteria tour, I cheated on you."
"We weren't committed."
"But I slept in your room every night. We practically lived together."
"True." He sighed. "So, you cheated. One night, right?"
She took a deep breath. "No. There were a few."
"And how on Earth did anyone not catch on?" He was confused.
"Because." She looked away. "No one thought any of us were sleeping
together." She waited to see if he would understand what she was saying.
"You're talking about you and Steve, aren't you?"
"And Phil."
"What, did they take turns?" He began to sound aggravated.
"No." She spoke plainly. "It was at the same time."
His mind raced as he realized what she was saying. His beautiful, sweet
Kenzie was incapable of being that… wild. Wasn't she? "Why are you telling
me this?"
"I need to know, Rick. Are you truly in love with me, or the woman you
perceive to be me?"
He shook his head and covered his face with his hands.
"Phil knows every thing about me. And he still loves me."
"What else does he know?"
"The when I was in New York I experimented with heroine." She thought back.
"That my OD was actually a suicide attempt."
"Stop!" He rose to his feet. "That isn't you!"
"It was. And it is." She sat up on the edge of her bed. "And it's the same
person you claim will never go away."
He looked down at her. "You're right. I never knew."
"And?" She rose to look into his eyes.
"I can't help but feel the same way, Kenz."
"You don't trust me."
"Not as much as I'd like to."
"You're married."
"So are you." He sighed.
"It would never work between us again."
"Don't you think I know that?" He rubbed his hands up and down her arms.
"I love my family too much to fuck everything up."
"And I do too." He nodded.
"So we need to get this out of our systems and never think about it again."
"I agree."
They stared at one another for a long while.
"Goodnight, Rick."
"G'night, Kenzie." He sighed and walked out of her room.
 
 
 

As he walked out, he stopped in the hall and thought of what he could have
said to change her mind. "You had 'er and you blew it!" He mumbled as he
smacked his forehead. "Fuckin' idiot!" He shook his head.

"Now, don't you feel bet'er?" Joe asked as they rode up in the elevator.
"A lit'le." He smiled. "Actually, right now I'm not feelin' a thing."
"Right! My job's done."
The door opened onto their floor. They looked out to see Sav walking out of
Phil's room.
"Fuck." Joe sighed.
"Well lookie what we 'ave 'ere." Phil took a step out.
"I'm sure there's a logical…" Joe began.
"Save it, Joe." Phil held his hand up. "I don't think this one can be
fixed." He then shook his head and walked down to his room. Joe watched as
he stared at the doorknob for a while.
"Sorry, mate." He sighed.
"Not your fault." He cleared his throat before walking in.

Kenz heard the door from the bathroom. She finished brushing her teeth and
walked out. "Aye. Have fun tonight?" She walked to the bed and pulled the
covers down.
"Did you?" He huffed.
"Huh?" She looked up. "Not really."
"Yeah, right."
"Phil, I've been sick. I tried to get a hold of you but you didn't answer
your phone and Joe wouldn't let me talk to you."
"Whatever." He threw his boots across the room.
"Who sucked the jam outta your doughnut?" She crossed her arms.
"What?" He half-laughed.
"What is up your ass? You've been a complete dick since we got up this
mornin'."
"Kenz…"
"I thought we were supposed to be workin' on us this weekend. So you go out
and get tanked with Joe?"
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"What the hell was Sav doin' in 'ere?"
"Do you really wanna know?"
"I already do!"
"And what do you think you know?" She crossed her arms.
"That you're still in love with him!" His voice echoed in the tiny room.
"You're wrong, Phil." She whispered.
"Oh really. Then why did you call 'is name out last night?"
Her eyes widened as her knees went limp. That's why… it was… she closed her
eyes as the room began to spin.
"Kenz?" He watched as all color drained from her face. He jumped across the
bed and pulled her into his arms. "I've gotcha, baby."
"Huh?" She opened her eyes. "What happened?"
"You swooned." He ran his fingers through her hair and looked into her eyes.
"You said you were sick?" Nothing else really seemed that important.
"I've had… bad cramps in my side tonight." She whined. "And when I couldn't
get a hold of you, I tried to get Nat… and the next thing I knew I was back
here…"
"Shh." He kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry."
"I'm so scared Phil." She sobbed into his chest.
"Shh." He repeated as he patted her back. "Get some sleep an' we'll talk
about it in the mornin'."
 
 

The morning came all too quick. Kenz woke up to the sound of thunder. Good
ol' English weather. She didn't want to get up, though. Phil had her wrapped
in a death grip and it felt nice. It seemed like forever since the last time
that had happened.
She then thought back to the night before. Did she really call Sav's name
out in bed? It would definitely explain her husband's dramatic change over
the last 24 hours. She sighed and thought of how she was going to fix this
one. Maybe it would just have to wait until the family meeting next week.
She could end it once and for all with everyone.
Carefully, she slipped out of bed and quickly stood to get ready for the day
ahead. She may have gotten to her feet a little too quick, as a sharp pain
pierced through her. She moaned as she quickly fell to her knees.
"Kenzie?" Phil opened his eyes and looked across the bed.
"I'm okay, I think." She breathed heavily.
"You don't look okay." He sat up. He was quickly consumed by a whapping
headache.
"Neither do you." She smirked.
"I say we stay in bed. Not like we 'ave to be anywhere for a while, right?"
He stretched and then pulled the covers up over him.
"I gotta pee." She smiled.
"So pee!" He met her smile.
"Fine." She walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.
Phil sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Maybe things were going to be
okay. So long as HE stayed away. Maybe they should move back to London? Or
LA? Morgan would put up a fight, but the little ones probably wouldn't. He
smiled at the thought. Little ones. Cameron and Jordyn weren't so little
anymore. Not compared to the new little one.
He was interrupted by knocking at the door. "Fuckin' 'ell." He sighed and
answered in his boxer shorts.
"Aye." Sav looked surprised to see him. "How's Kenz?"
With no warning, Phil met him with a solid punch to the nose.
"Holy shit!" Nat stepped out of their room.
"Let 'em go. E has it commin'." Joe huffed.
"For what?" Her eyes widened as the men brawled in the hallway.
"You name it!" He rolled his eyes. "Get 'im, Phil!" Joe laughed as he
planted a good one on Sav's eye.
"You lost your fuckin' mind?" Vivian walked past Joe toward this band mates.
"Aw, damn!" Joe sighed and followed him.
"Stop it!" Vivian pulled Phil back.
"You too." Joe sighed as he pushed Sav against a wall.
"Me?" He pointed to Phil. "What the hell was that about?"
"I want you to stay away from my wife!" Phil yelled at him. "If I so much as
see you lookin' at 'er t'night, I'm gonna rip your head off!"