A Picture's Worth A Thousand Words - Ending 2

The group huddled around the pool table along with Rory. They had been playing for a few hours now and were just merely enjoying the time off and being together. Phil had the video camera out taping the event. He was working on a gift for Kenzie for her birthday. He was going to take all the videos they had shot of the group and make a collage of the best moments in each one.
“Kenzie!” Phil yelled from behind the camera.
“Hey, Philly!” She smiled.
“That would be our dear Mackenzie Savage.”
“That’s me.” She giggled.
“And don’t forget, Roger Taylor’s daughter!” Rick laced his arm around her shoulders.
“That’s right.” Viv spoke from the other side of her.
“More importantly, she’s my wife.” Sav stood behind her and pulled her into his arms.
“My favorite title yet.” She kissed him. “Besides bein’ a mother.”
“I can handle that.” He gave her a smile.
“And I am the Master!” Joe butted in front of them.
“Get over it!” They all yelled. They were all still fussing when Kenzie’s cell phone rang.
“Mackenzie Savage.” She stepped away so that she could hear.
“It’s dad.” Roger laughed as he heard the others.
“How goes?” She walked to the bar. She decided she could use one beer tonight. She held up her hand to Tony as she listened to Roger talk. She had her back turned and was intent on the conversation that she didn’t see Jason walk up behind her.
“Let’s just see if you know what you’re talkin’ about.” Jason whispered to Rory as he poured the white powder into Kenz’s drink. They quickly walked away to make it appear as though they just walked in the side door.
Sav looked up at her and smiled as she made her way to the group. He really was happy. “I’ll let you go.” Roger finally spoke.
“Take care. I’ll send those pictures in a few days.” Kenz smiled.
Roger fought the horrible feeling he had in the pit of his stomach. The same feeling he’d had the day he came home and found Cindy and Mackenzie gone. “I love you, Mackenzie.” He closed his eyes. “Please know that.”
“Are you ok?” She worried.
“Yes.” He sighed. “I’m just bein’ silly.”
“I love you, too, dad. Bye.” She hung up. She placed the phone in the pocket of her jacket and took a drink of her beer.
“You’re up, love!” Joe smiled at her over the table.
“Shit!” She took another drink. Finishing half the glass she sat it down and grabbed a pool stick. She leaned over the table and eyed the ball. Everyone watched, as she didn’t move. She blinked her eyes as a shiver came over her body. Her hands were shaking as her eyes slowly met Sav’s. She dropped the stick and ran for the bathroom and Nat quickly followed.
“First drink she’s had in four months?” Joe looked at Sav.
“Yep.” He smiled. That smile quickly faded as he heard the blood-curling cry from Nat.
“Joe!” She stood white as a ghost in the doorway to the restroom. The guys quickly pushed their way in and found Kenz on the floor. She was shaking so badly that she looked as though she was having a seizure. Phil bent down and looked at her eyes. His eyes turned and met Sav’s and he saw Jason and Rory standing in the doorway.
“It’s a reaction to the Narcon.” Phil groaned. Joe quickly pushed him aside and picked her up.
“Miss Kenzie take a hit?” Jason smirked.
“You bastard!” Sav slammed him against the wall. “What the fuck did ya do?”
“She’s an addict. She always will be!” Jason retaliated.
“Let’s go.” Phil glared at Rory and Jason as the group left with Kenz in tow.

They reached the hospital and the doctors disappeared with Kenz. An hour went by before anyone came to talk with them.
“Mr. Savage?” A solemn looking man stopped in front of the group.
“Yes?” Sav stood up.
The doctor took a deep breath and met his eyes the best he could. “She had a reaction to the Narcon. The worst one I’ve ever seen.” He sighed. “We did everything we could. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” His eyes widened.
“She… we pumped her stomach enough to stop the convulsions, but she’s comatose for the time being.”
“Can I see her?”
“After she’s settled into her room. A nurse will come and get you.”
“Thank you.” He turned around to see the entire group waiting. “We’re not out of the woods yet. She ‘asn’t woken up yet.”
“What happened?” Phil paced. “She wouldn’t ‘ave used. Not knowin’ that she was still on the Narcon.”
“The doctor said that she convulsions stopped when they pumped her stomach.” Sav closed his eyes.
“That means she didn’t snort anything.” Nat watched him.
“Maybe it was in her drink again?” Joe suggested.
“C’mon, twice in a lifetime?” Sav huffed.
“You think she’s using?” Rick watched him.
“I… don’t know.” He threw his head back and stared at the ceiling.
“What was that comment Jason made? ‘Kenzie took a hit…’” Vivian began.
“Did Miss Kenzie take a hit?” Phil repeated it word for word. “She’s an addict. She always will be.”
Nat watched him and then turned back to Sav. “I don’t think she did it.”
“Kenzie’s a new person these days, Sav.” Joe added.
“You guys didn’t ‘ave a fight or anythin’ today, did you?” Rick asked.
“Not at all.” He sat on a bench. “We stayed in bed most of the day and talked about… her goin’ off the Narcon.” He rubbed his face.
“And?” Phil waited.
“She wanted to wait until after Steve’s birthday.”
“I think all we can do is wait and talk to her when she wakes up.” Vivian looked at Sav. “And trust her.”
“He’s right.” Phil followed. “She’d tell us if she fucked up. I know it.”
“If she tells you anythin’, I want to know.” Sav stood and pointed at him. “Anythin’ at all, got it?”
“Got it.”
“Mr. Savage? Follow me please.” A nurse called for him.
He turned back to Phil. "No keepin' her bloody secrets this time."
“I swear.” He watched as Sav followed the nurse.
“You really think you can do that?” Joe watched Phil.
“Why wouldn’t I?” He became defensive.
“Years of covering for your best friends. It comes naturally to you.” Nat followed.
“Yeah well, don’t worry about me. We just need to get her out of here and then we’ll worry about it.”

Kenzie woke up the next afternoon. She had IV’s in both arms and her throat was extremely dry and sore. Rick was at the end of her bed, watching an English soap opera on the tele and Phil was in the corner quietly strumming his guitar. She suddenly felt her stomach churn with the last bit of bile that was left and turned in time to catch the pail beside her.
“Kenz?” Phil ran to her side.
“You alright?” Sav followed.
“I’m fine now.” Her voice was weak and scratchy as she accepted the tissue from her husband. Phil followed by handing her a cup of water. “Thank you.” She coughed.
They sat on either side of her as she slowly drank the water and sat back. She then looked between the two. “I was poisoned again, wasn’t I?”
“You tell us.” Phil spoke quietly.
She closed her eyes. “Dad called, I walked up and ordered my beer… I took a few drinks… that’s all I remember.”
“Are you sure?” Sav watched her.
“That’s all I remember.” She repeated.
“Did you know that Jason and Rory were there?” Phil asked.
“Jason? Bonham?” She frowned. “What the hell was he doin’ there?”
“We don’t know.” Sav sighed.
“Why don’t you see if Tony saw anything. I mean, I was right there at the bar.”
“We could ask Rory.” Phil suggested.
“Not if you want the truth.” She huffed. She then completely changed the subject. “Where’s Taylor?”
“Your Dad has him. He flew in yesterday.”
“Oh.” She looked out the window. “Phil, could you excuse us for a moment?”
“Uh… sure.” He looked at Sav and then walked out the door.
She continued to look out the window as she spoke. “You don’t believe me, do you?”
He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I honestly don’t know what to think, Kenz.”
“I have no reason to use that shit any more, Rick.” She looked him in the eye. “And two reasons not to. I’d never jeopardize that again.”
A huge weight lifted from his body. That was his Kenzie talking. He reached over and hugged her tightly.

Phil returned a while later. “Hey, I just spoke to the doctor. They’re keepin’ you one more day for observation.”
“Why?” She frowned.
“You almost died on us.” Sav turned to her.
“No wonder I feel like horse shit.” She smiled for him.
“That’s not funny.” He kissed her.
“Why don’t you go home tonight?”
“Ken…”
“Taylor needs at least one of us, Rick. I don’t want him to be alone.”
“I can stay…” Phil offered.
“No. I’ll be fine.” She gave them a smile. “There’s no use in us all being uncomfortable. At least you two can sleep in a decent bed tonight.”
“I don’t like this.” Sav took her hand.
“I’ll be fine.” She squeezed his hand. “And I’ll be home tomorrow.”
The men looked at one another and then back to her. “Fine.” They huffed.

Sav and Phil drove around Dublin, and talked. They devised a plan to get to the bottom of everything, and then they developed a speech they would use to get Kenz to stop taking the Narcon.
They walked into Sav’s house around 2:00 a.m. and everyone was there, and awake. "We were gettin' worried." Rick looked up.
"Sorry." Sav ran his hand through his hair. "Where's Taylor?" He looked at Nat.
"In his room. I just gave him a bottle about half an hour ago. You should be set till early morning."
"Thanks." He kissed her cheek. "I'm goin' to turn in." He walked up the stairs. He briefly stopped in Taylor's room and watched him sleep. Then, kissing his head lightly he walked down the hall to his own empty room. He walked in and removed his shirt. Walking into the bathroom he splashed his face with cold water then turned out the light. He stopped dead in his tracks as he walked in the bedroom.
"I thought we could keep each other company." Rory crossed the room and stopped in front of him.
"No thanks." He huffed and tried to step around her. She laced her arms around his waist and kissed his chest. The action making Sav's stomach turn. "Back off!"
"Let me comfort you." She reached for his lips.
"Stop!" He grabbed her shoulders and held her back. She was obviously drunk.
"After everything I've done for us to be together." She whined.
"What?" He glared at her.
"I've taken care of Kenzie now there's nothin' to stop us." She cooed.
"What did you do?" His voice rose. A knot was forming in his stomach. He didn't like what he was hearing.
"Um...." She realized what she had said. God, what had she done? She had never meant to hurt Kenz. She only wanted her to relapse so that Sav would leave her.
"Tell me!" He yelled. Rory shook from the anger she heard in his voice and turned for the door. He chased after her. Running down the stairs she ran behind Phil.
"Stop him!" She squealed.
"What's goin' on?" Phil looked at Rory and back at Sav.
"Calm down, mate." Joe saw the anger registered on Sav's face.
"Tell me what you did to Kenzie!" Sav yelled again. Rory shook as everyone's eyes settled on her.
"What?" Roger gasped.
"Rory?" Phil moved away from her.
"She was only suppose to relapse!" Rory blurted.
"No!" Sav shook his head wildly.
"What are you sayin'?" Roger grabbed her arm. "You gave her coke?"
"I didn't.” She cried. “Jason slipped some in her beer.”
"You only suggested it." Joe huffed.
"Why?" Nat cried.
"She is a fuckin' addict. She doesn’t deserve Sav!" Rory huffed.
"She is my wife!" Sav lunged for her. "And you almost killed her!" He reached for her throat. Joe and Phil reached for Sav before he could get a hold of her.
"You bitch!" Nat broke through and punched Rory.
"Sav!" Joe yelled as he struggled to hold him back.
"Let me go!" Sav grasped Rory's shirt.
"Viv!" Phil yelled. Viv grabbed Sav around the waist from behind and tried to pull him back. Joe with no other solution in mind, reached over and punched Sav. Knocking him back he fell to the floor. Phil looked over stunned. With the lack of sleep from the last two days and the force of Joe's punch, he was out cold.
"He's gonna hate me for that in the mornin'." Joe shook his fist in the air. "But not as much as he will still hate you!" He turned back to Rory.
"Phil?" Rory pleaded with him.
"You almost took away me best friend!" Phil roared.
"Daddy?" Rory cried.
"I don't even know you." Roger turned away from her.
"Get the hell outta here." Nat stepped toward her. Rory stood her ground until Nat took another step. She then ran for the door and left.
"Help me get him to his room." Joe choked.
"At least he'll get some sleep t'night." Rick sighed.

The next morning Sav woke up and crawled to the shower. The hot water felt good against his aching body. His jaw hurt like hell. Quickly he showered and dressed and joined everyone downstairs.
"Hey." He picked Taylor up from his highchair next to Nat and Jayla.
"Morning." Nat gave him a smile.
"Here." Rick handed him a cup of coffee.
"Thanks." He spoke gruffly.
"Did you finally get some sleep?" Joe walked in.
"Would 'ave much rather got it a different way." Sav looked up at him.
"Sorry, mate. You would've killed her." Joe sipped his own coffee.
"I will." Sav huffed. "I plan on findin' Jason this afternoon."
"Nancy called and said she will be here this afternoon." Nat interrupted.
"Go ahead and use her if you and Joe wanna do somethin’. I ‘ave a feelin’ Kenz will wanna spend time with Tay tonight." Sav took one more drink. "I need to go. I’ve got things to do before she gets ‘ome."
"Want us to go with you?" Viv watched him.
Sav slumped his shoulders. "Yeah, I'm not sure I can still keep my eyes open long enough to drive there."
"Give us a minute." Phil headed for the stairs.

All five stood at the entrance of the grocery store. “Okay, if we each take an aisle, we should get through this pretty quick.” He tore the grocery list into sections. “Meet me at the first check out stand.”
“Gotcha.” They all split up.
“Uh, wait a sec!” Phil ran up to catch Sav.
“What?” He sighed as he turned around.
“Is there any portion that doesn’t have meat on it?” He made a face.
“Um… no.” He crossed his arms. “Unlike you, we very much enjoy eating things that walk on four legs.” He smiled.
“I can’t do this.” He handed the list back.
“Fine. Why don’t you go to the garden section and find the pail liners?”
“I can do that.” He smiled and walked off.

“Milk.” Joe stood at the milk case and stared at all of the brands and types. “How many different types of fuckin’ milk is there?” He raised his eyebrows. “My God, how does Nat do this?” He mumbled to himself.

“Cereal.” Sav read from his list. He looked down the entire aisle of cereal. “Fuck me.” He waited and observed as a few women walked past and made their choices. He stopped to think for a moment. Who eats cereal in their house anyway? He couldn’t remember. Well then… fuck it. He walked to the veggie aisle.

“Baby food.” Rick read from his list. He looked at the huge selection. “One of each should do.” He began dumping them into the basket.

“Spaghetti sauce.” Vivian looked around. “Marinara, Alfredo, Three Cheese, Homestyle, Chunky, Mushroom, Extra Garlic, Meatsauce… bloody ‘ell!” He scratched his head. “One of each should do.”

They all met at the check out stand an hour later. Sav’s eyes widened when he noticed that everyone’s cart was completely full. “Four gallons of milk, Joe?”
“Hey, it just said milk. I got 1%, 2%, reduced fat and homo… whatever.”
“Fuck it… just ring it up.” He waved them on.

Nat’s eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw them. “What’d ya do? Buy everything?”
“You were entirely too vague with this list.” Sav rested his hand on his hip.
“Yeah.” Joe carried in the milk.
“Oh my God.” She held her sides as she laughed. “I wish to hell Kenzie was here to see this.”
“I got the pail liners.” Phil set the box on the table.
“Good boy.” She patted his head.
“Brown noser.” Vivian mumbled.
They were all bickering when the phone rang.
“Kiss my ass.” Sav laughed as he answered. “’Ello?”
“Hi.” Kenz spoke hoarsely.
“Hi.” He walked into the dining room. “I was just about to come get you.”
“Well… don’t bother.” She sighed.
“Why?”
“I have a bleeding ulcer. They’re doin’ surgery in a few hours to cauterize it.”
“Oh baby, I’m sorry. I’ll be right there, alright?”
“Okay.” She sighed.
“I love you.”
“You too.” She hung up.
He hung up the phone and returned to the kitchen. “Kenzie’s sick, I gotta go.” He grabbed his jacket.
“Sick?” Phil followed him.
“A bleeding ulcer. She’s ‘avin’ surgery in a few hours.”
“Was it caused by the coke?” Nat asked.
“I don’t know, But I’ve gotta go.”
“Let’s go.” Joe followed Sav and Phil out the door.
“We’ll stay here and help Nat with the groceries.” Rick yelled.
“Fine!” Sav waved from the car as he took off.

They ran into her room in time to see her throwing up again, only this time there was a lot of blood. “Kenzie.” Sav ran to her side. “How long has this been goin’ on?”
“I woke up last night.” She panted as she wiped her mouth off. “The doctor thinks it’s from a combination of the coke, the beer, and the tube they used to pump my stomach.” She flinched as she held her stomach.
“We’re gonna get ‘em, Kenz. I promise.” Joe spoke with tears in his eyes.
“Who?” She looked at Phil.
“Jason and Rory.” He tightened his jaw. “They did this so that you’d relapse.”
“Why?” Tears filled her eyes as another pain ripped through her. “Ow! I need the nurse!” Phil shot out down the hall. A few minutes later, a nurse appeared and shot medication into her IV.
“There’s ya go, love. That’ll help a bit.” She patted her hand.
“Thank you.” She wiped under her eyes.

Sav paced throughout her surgery. The more he paced, the angrier he became. The redder his face, the angrier Joe and Phil became. Finally, after two hours, the doctor emerged.
“Everything went well. She’s a trooper, your Kenzie.”
“She is.” He sighed.
“I do want to warn you, though. It’s a very deep wound. She’ll probably ‘ave repercussions for the rest of her life.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’ll be on a strict diet, so as not to disturb the ulcer, no drinking, no smoking, and she’ll be on medication to keep the acid in her stomach down.”
“No drinking?” Joe and Phil repeated.
“That’ll kill ‘er.” Joe whispered.
“No doubt.” Phil huffed.
“Pipe down.” Sav scolded them as she continued to speak to the doctor. “Other than that, how is she?”
“Stable. I’d like to keep her for a few more days to make sure nothin’ else sneaks up on us.”
“Is there any way I can bring our son to visit? He hasn’t seen his Mum in days.”
“How old is he?”
“A lit’le over a year.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” He patted his shoulder. “You can see her in about an hour or so.”
“Thank you.” He watched him walk away.

Kenz woke up to see three sets of eyes looking down at her. She couldn’t help but smile.
“How ya feelin’?” Joe kissed her forehead.
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She flinched as she swallowed and then pointed to her neck.
“I’ll get the doc.” Phil ran out.
“They put a scope down your throat to do surgery.” Sav explained as he stroked her forehead. “Your poor throat’s probably shot.”
She nodded her head.
The doctor walked in and looked into her mouth. “Well, m’dear. You now ‘ave a ragin’ throat infection. I’ll add another antibiotic to your IV.”
She rolled her eyes and looked at her husband.
“I guess this is what you get for never bein’ sick, huh?” He tried to lighten her mood.
She flipped him off as Joe and Phil laughed.
“She doesn’t feel too bad.” Phil patted her hand.
She took Phil’s hand and pulled him down to whisper in his ear. “I hope you don’t mind, I’m disowning my sister for good this time.”
He looked back and rubbed her cheek.
“Under the circumstances, I agree Kenz.” He ran his fingers through her hair. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve listened to you a year ago.”
She held his hand and smiled.

Sav walked in a few days later with a huge smile on his face. Kenz looked up from her chicken broth and Jell-O and made a face. “This completely sucks.” Her voice was better, but extremely hoarse.
“You’ll be ‘ome in a few days.” He kissed her.
“And still eating this shit.” She huffed as she threw her spoon onto the tray. “What’s the cheesy grin?”
“I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“What’s that?”
He looked up at the door. Her eyes followed his to see Roger holding Taylor.
“My boy!” Tears filled her eyes as she held her arms out.
“Ma ma!” He squealed.

She spent the entire afternoon with Taylor until he fell asleep.
“You’d better take him home.” She yawned. “He might scream if you have to pull him away.”
“You’re right.” Sav sighed. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning, got it?”
“Got it.” She smiled as he kissed her.
“Take care, love.” Roger kissed her forehead. “It’ll all be over soon.”
“I know.” She held his hand.

Finally, two weeks after her reaction to the Narcon, she came home. Everyone was there waiting on her as she walked into the door.
“Welcome home, Kenzie!” British voices belted from everywhere.
“Hi!” She smiled as she hugged each and every one of them.
“By the way, thanks for getting’ those extra tour dates taken back off for us.” Joe winked at her. “I’ve enjoyed the extra holiday.”
“I bet you have.” She grinned as she made her way in the house.

That night, Sav waited in bed as she took a long, hot bath. She rubbed lotion onto her arms and legs and slipped into a tiny blue nightgown before sliding in beside him.
“Mmm.” He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. “I missed this.”
“Me too.” She rested her hand on his chest.
“I’m so proud of you.” He rubbed his hand up and down her arm.
“Why?” She looked up at him.
“Well… this whole ordeal. It seems like every day, something else went wrong. And not one time did you feel sorry for yourself or stop to see what others thought about it. You focused on yourself and healed.”
“I had to. Taylor’s been without his mother for long enough this last year.”
“I agree.” He kissed her. “And I’m so happy to have you back home.”
“I love you.” She stopped and looked into his eyes. “Thank you so much for believing me.”
“I love you.” He reached over and turned out the light. “And I’ll never doubt you again.”

A few days later, it was time to return to the tour. The group waited for the Elliott’s and the Savage’s to arrive.
“Notice the ones with the kids are late.” Rick laughed.
“They’ll probably show up with a trailer.” Vivian chuckled.
“Yeah, with the nanny strapped to the top.” Phil giggled like a girl.
“Oh shit!” Mal laughed as he pointed to Joe. He was walking toward the plane with his suitcase in one hand, three bags hanging from his shoulders, and a playpen in another. Nat was following behind with another suitcase, a collapsed swing, and Jayla in a carrier.
Sav followed, looking a lot like Joe. Kenzie was far behind, as Taylor held her hand and walked the whole way.
“C’mon, Kenz! We gotta go!” Sav huffed.
“It’s a long flight! He needs to walk as much as he can!” She waved him off.
“Marital bliss.” Phil whispered to Mal.
“Ain’t love grand?” Rick laughed.
“You could make yourselves useful.” Nat huffed.
“Sorry.” Phil and Rick pouted as they took the suitcase and swing from her.
“There we go!” Kenz smiled as she and Taylor made it to the terminal. “Yea!” She clapped her hands as Taylor followed.
Sav couldn’t help but smile. “You’re such a big boy.” He knelt down and kissed his cheek.
"Fuck." Phil looked at Viv.
“Watch the language, please!” Kenzie huffed.
"Shit." Viv tapped Joe on the arm. Joe looked over to see Rory walking through the airport with Jason.
"Take him." Sav pushed Taylor into Kenzie’s arms.
"Joe!" Phil warned.
"Sav!" Joe, Phil and Viv chased him across the corridor.
"I'm gonna kill you!" Sav drew back and punched Jason. "You just couldn't leave her be!" He punched him again. "Are you happy now?! She almost died, you stupid fuck!" He punched him again, knocking him to the ground. He kicked him repeatedly as the guys reached him.
"Stop!" Joe grabbed him.
"Fuck off!" Sav yelled.
"Richard!" Phil yelled from behind him. Sav turned to face him. Kenz stepping into view, Sav stared at his son.
"Bastard!" He turned and kicked Jason again.
"Stop!" Rory grabbed at Sav's arm.
"You!" He grabbed her by the throat. "You are nothin' like your sister! She would never have done that to you!" He squeezed tighter. Rory began to make a choking sound.
"Phil!" She gasped. Phil looked at Joe. He knew he should stop him but, he felt like doing it himself.
"Stop!" Joe grabbed Sav's shoulder and drew back his fist. "Don't make me knock ya out again, mate."
“Rick!” Kenz yelled as she walked toward them, Taylor in tow. “Honey, let them go.” She placed her hand on his shoulder.
He stopped and looked at her. If anyone had a right to be angry, it was her. “But…”
“They’re not worth it.” She glanced at her sister. “They’re just not worth it.”
He released her throat from his hands and stepped back. "I suggest you never show your faces to me or my wife again." He grabbed his son and returned to their terminal.

The field was full of kids kicking around the soccer ball as Joe and Sav stood on the sidelines watching their team practice. Nat sat on the bleachers with ten year old Jasmine while Kenzie kept her eyes on six year old Cameron and two year old Brady.
“Sorry we’re late.” Phil walked up with eight year old Jordyn.
“Where’s Anita?” Kenz looked over her sunglasses.
“She’ll be ‘ere shortly.” He smiled.
“Cool.” She looked up as Cameron began to play in the dirt. “Cammy, you want a peanut butter sandwhich?”
“Yes!” He ran to his mother.
"C'mon, in!" Sav hollered at the team. The kids huddled around the guys and listened as they planned out the strategy of the game.
"Jayla, cover Sean and Taylor can cover Austin." Sav looked around.
"Cool." The broke.

The game was a nightmare. The Rockers barely won the game.
“Good shot, Jay!” Natalie jumped up and down like a wild woman.
“Here we go.” Kenz smiled at Phil.
The referee called a fowl on Taylor.
“What? He didn’t touch him!”
“Nat.” Kenz grabbed her belt and sat her down. “He kicked the boy’s ankle.”
“So? It wasn’t that noticeable!” She spat.
Jayla was red carded just as the game ended.
“That was bull shit!” Nat jumped up.
“The games over, babe!” Joe smiled up at her.
“I don’t care!” She huffed as Kenz and Phil chuckled.
"Good game, Tay." Sav wrapped his arm around his son's shoulders.
"Thank Jayla." Taylor gave her a high five. "She plays like her dad."
"Thanks!" Jayla smiled.
"Just be thankful she's on your team then." Sav laughed. They walked off to the car and put their stuff in the trunk. Then it was off to Joe and Nat's for pizza.

Kenz picked at her salad and watched as the others ate pizza. Sav looked up and smiled at her. “You’ll be up all night if you have so much as a bite.”
“Might as well eat a whole piece then, huh?” She grabbed a slice from his plate.
“It’s your stomach.” He laughed.

Taylor kept watched as Jayla snuck down to the studio. He took one more look around and then headed down himself.
“Yes!” Taylor took the beer from her. “Good girl.”
“I know.” She giggled.
He held his beer in the air. “Here’s to an extremely kick-ass game, thanks to you.”
“Cheers.” She tipped her head back.

“Where’s Tay?” Kenz looked over the car as she strapped Brady in.
“I sent Cam in, but they ‘aven’t come back yet.”
“Why don’t you go in.” She flinched as she grabbed her chest. “I need to get home.”
“Told you.” He huffed as he walked back into the house. “Cam? Tay?” He looked around.
“Daddy!” Cameron ran to him.
“Did you find your brother?”
“Nope.” He shrugged his shoulders.
“Well thanks for lookin’.” He tousled his hair. “Go on out to the car with your Mum and Brady.”
“K!” He ran out the door.
“At least I know where two of my boys are.” He mumbled as he walked through the house.

In the mean time, Joe had begun to search for his oldest daughter. “Jay? You down ‘ere?” He walked down the stairs.
The kids quickly threw the bottles in the trashcan.
“What are you two doin’ down ‘ere?” He crossed his arms.
“Eating pizza.” Jayla smiled. “Kickin’ back. Shootin’ the shite.”
“Un, huh.” He leaned over Taylor and took a deep breath. “Your parents’ll skull you if they catch beer on your breath, ya know.”
“You can smell it?” He sniffed.
“Oh, yeah.” He laughed as he patted him on the back. “And drunk too! Let’s go!” He pushed him up the stairs.
“Hey! Your Mum needs to…” He sniffed the air. “You’ve been drinkin’.”
“So? You do sometimes.”
“I’m also legal.” He grabbed the back of his neck. “Let’s go.”
“Night!” Joe waved.
“You’re not gonna tell Mum, are ya?” He asked as they slowly walked to the car.
“Nope. You are.” He stopped at the car. “Now get your arse in there and keep your mouth shut.”
He slammed the door after climbing in.
“What’s going on?” Kenz looked between them.
“Would ya like to fill your Mum in, Taylor?”
She looked over the back seat and watched him.
“It’s no bloody big deal.” He slurred.
“You’re drunk!” Kenz’s eyes widened.
“Just because you’re afraid to loosen up and ‘ave a few doesn’t mean I can’t.” He waved his hand around.
Kenz turned to face the front of the car. She then looked at Sav. Her face was bright red. “We’ll discuss this tomorrow.” She finally spoke as they pulled into the house.
“Really? That’s it?” He looked up into the rearview mirror and smiled at his Dad.
“You’ve got a lot to learn about pissin’ your Mum off, son.” He grinned as he opened the car door.

Sav sat in bed and waited as Kenz put their two youngest sons to bed. He knew this would be an all nighter. He knew she’d be upset. He knew what was coming.
She walked in and paced the floor. “What are we gonna do?”
“What can we do? He can sneak it, or he can learn what moderation is.”
“Or he can do both. See, I know that.” She continued to pace. “We have to tell him.”
“Tell him what?”
“He needs to know that he has the potential to…”
“No! I don’t agree with that. He’ll use it as an excuse to become like that.”
“I don’t think that at all, Rick. Maybe if he knows the things I went through… he’ll be careful and try to control it.”
“I don’t think it’s that bad, Kenz. It was a few beers with pizza. He’s just bein’ a teenaged boy and experimentin’.”
“I was already a pro at hiding my binges when I was his age. I had been doing it for two years.”
“Baby…” He watched her. “He’s got it so much better than you had it. He has no reason to binge drink.”
She watched him for a moment. “I don’t agree.”
“Can we just… do it my way for now? And if I’m wrong, if it gets worse, we’ll do it your way.”
“Fine. What’s your way?”
“We punish him for tonight.”
“No.” She stopped. “Punishment isn’t good enough. He’ll hate us for it.”
“Then what?”
“We make him suffer.” She smiled.
“And we all know you’re the master at that.” He chuckled. “Okay!” He rubbed his hands together. “Now get naked and into bed!”
“Yes, dear.” She sighed.

Taylor woke up to the pounding of the door the next morning. “C’mon, party boy! Rise and shine!” Kenz yelled.
“Mum!” He covered his head with his pillow. “It’s Sunday! We don’t ‘ave school.”
“Nope, you have chores!” She went through his dresser and gathered his clothes. “C’mon! I’ve made eggs and bacon for ya!”
“Ew.” He held his head. “I don’t feel well.”
“You play, you pay TK!” She threw his shoes at him. “Move it, Beer Man! C’mon!”

Sav laid in bed and laughed. He looked over at the alarm clock to see that it was only 6:00 AM. “Poor kid.” He rolled over to go back to sleep.

She pulled his pillow away and threw it across the room. She then opened the blinds wide open. “The yard needs cut, I have a few shrubs that need trimmed, the dishes are piling up, and we need a baby sitter tonight.”
“Mum!” He whined.
“If you’re not dressed and ready to go in five minutes, I’m sending your brothers and the dog in here.”
“Fine!” He sat up.
“Good.” She smiled and walked to their room.
Sav was still in bed. A smile rose to her lips as she sat beside him. “Oh Savvy.” She sang as she ran her finger down his arm.
“Didn’t get enough last night?” He smiled as he rolled over to face her.
“Not exactly.” She batted her eyes. “Seems as though Tay has volunteered to cut the grass today. Could you call the landscapers and cancel and then help him?”
“Huh?” His eyes widened. “Do I have to?”
“Uh… yeah. This was your idea.” She smiled. “I’ve made breakfast.”
“Fine.” He huffed as he sat up.

Three hours later, Taylor walked in, his ass dragging behind him. Sav followed him while drinking a bottle of water.
“Ready to do the dishes?” Kenz looked up from putting a puzzle together with Brady.
“Can you just ground me already? Please? No TV for a month?”
“You’re not in trouble.” She smiled. “Want lunch? I thought fish ‘n chips might be nice.”
He covered his mouth and ran to the bathroom.
“You’re ruthless.” Sav smiled and walked to the kitchen.

He returned a few minutes later. “I changed my mind. I need for you to straighten up the attic for me. If you do that, you won’t have to baby sit tonight.”
“You swear?” He huffed.
“Absolutely.” She winked at him.
“Fine.” He looked at his Father.
“You’re on your own this time.” He walked to the sofa and plopped down. “I’m watchin’ the football game.”
“Uh!” He turned to his mother.
“We’ll tape it for you.” She waved him off.
“It’s not the same!” He whined as he walked out to the garage.

He mumbled and cursed the entire time he was up there, stacking up old boxes. “Exactly how much shit do they ‘ave up here?” He threw a box down. “I say toss it all!” He mumbled. “Damn it!” He kicked a box. It flew open, spilling out photos everywhere.
“Well fuck if that ain’t all I need!” He knelt down to gather them. They were all of his Mother, his Uncle Phil, and another guy with blonde hair. They seemed to be having a lot of fun and were always hanging around a pool table. It didn't look like the one downstairs. And his Mother was… drinking. “Well what do ya know?” He chuckled. He then began to go through the box where he found one of her journals. He skimmed through a few pages and then boxed it all back up. “Black mail!” He laughed as he carried it down the stairs.
He walked into the house and looked into the den to see his parents watching the football game. They were yelling at the television because of a bad call that had just been made. He quickly snuck up the stairs and placed the box in his closet.

A few days later, Taylor walked into his room after school and threw his books onto his desk. He had no desire to start on his homework right away and television sounded just as boring. He fell onto his bed and ran his fingers through his hair as he looked over at the box on the floor of his closet. He took a deep breath as he sat up and reached for the book.
The excerpts he had read so far disturbed him. Surely it wasn’t his Mum that wrote this. This person seemed so depressed and talked about vodka a lot. Yet, it was her hand writing. And she mentioned ‘Sav’ asking her to marry him. It had to be hers.
His thoughts were interrupted by the knock on his door.
"Tay? You 'ome?" Kenz knocked lightly.
"Yeah!" He shoved the diary under his pillow.
"Hey." She walked in. "How was school?"
"Usual." He huffed. "I have another friggin' writing assignment."
"Hey, watch the mouth please."
"Sorry." He sat up. "What's goin' on?"
"Well, Dad wants to go to a concert in London this weekend and I wondered if you wanted to go. Maybe visit your Gran for the weekend."
"Not really." He raised his eyebrows. "The Celts are playing the Wednesdays and Gran doesn't get satellite coverage."
"True." She smiled. "Your Uncle Joe does."
"And he'll probably be watchin' the United game."
"True again."
"I can stay here, Mum. I'm sure Aunt Nat'll keep up with me anyway."
"You're just full of answers, aren't ya?"
"Well?"
She watched him for a moment. "Fine. But I will call and there will be no parties."
"Parties?" He smiled.
"No friends over at all, Taylor."
"I don't have friends, Mum." He chuckled.
"No, you have mates. Oh, and Jayla can't 'ave a party here either, so don't even think about gettin' around it." She smiled knowingly as she walked into the hall.
"Damn." He mumbled. How did she always know what he was thinking?

"You what?!" Jayla sat straight up on her bed.
"I 'ave the house to m'self this weekend." Taylor spoke.
"How in the hell did you accomplish that?"
"The parents are takin’ the little bros to London with them.”
"And just like that they let you stay? There has to be a catch, Tay."
"Yeah, your Mum."
"I knew it!" She huffed as she crossed her arms. "Let me make ring a few blokes and I'll ring back."
"No, Jay. No parties. I'm on probation."
"What they don't know won't hurt, TK! Trust me!" She hung up.

"Oh c'mon, Tay. It's not that bad." Kenz watched her son pick over the meal that Sav had prepared for them. "Just a few bites." She pleaded.
"I'd like to keep my teeth intact." He mumbled under his breath as the phone rang. "I'll get it!" He jumped up and ran into the kitchen.
"'Ello?"
"Okay." Jayla whispered. "Patsy's folks think she's stayin' here. Robby's folks think your parents are gonna be there. My folks think I'm stayin' at Patsy's..."
"So where are we stayin'?"
"There! What's the stock of the bar look like. I may be able to grab a few of Dad's..."
"We are gonna get so busted!" He spat as he lowered his voice.
"Oh ye of litt'l faith. 'Ave I ever let you down before?"
"Well, what about..."
"That was an accident! It'll work, I promise!"
"Ugh!" He closed his eyes. "Fine!" He hung up and returned to the dining room.
"Who was it?" Kenz strained while chewing on his food.
"Jay. Had a question 'bout our writing assignment." He lied. "Speakin' of, I really need to get mine done."
"What about your dinner?" Sav asked.
"Can't concentrate on a full stomach." He smiled.
"Go on!" Sav huffed.

"Tay! We're 'ere!" Jayla ran into the house and looked around. "TK! You 'ome?" She ran upstairs to his room. "TK?"
"Don't get your knickers in a bunch!" He walked in from the bathroom while zipping up his jeans. "Who is we?"
"Um.. a few mates."
"A few?" He cocked his eyebrow at her.
"It's cool." She pushed him down the stairs.
He stopped when he reached the end of the stairs and looked around. "Bloody 'ell, Jayla! There's... twenty people 'ere!"
"But they're all soccer fans, Tay. I couldn't say no."
She batted her eyes at him. "And Jason over there? He's 18. He can go on a beer run if we need to."
"Jayla, you are a brilliant girl..." He walked to the kitchen. "No matter what anyone else says about cha!"
"Huh?" She stopped. "What do they say?" She watched him laugh and walk away. "Tay! What do they say?" She followed him.
"Hi Taylor." A cute little blonde girl by the name of Tristy walked into the kitchen.
"Tristy." He stopped dead in his tracks and looked her over. "I didn't... I didn't know you were comin'."
"I had to help Jay tote the cooler over." She batted her green eyes at him.
"Thank you." He smiled his sweet boyish smile at her.
"Blagh." Jayla walked in and rolled her eyes. "Mush!"
"Off with ya, then!" He pushed her.

"Canceled?" Sav stood at the terminal.
"All flights to London have been canceled. There was a bomb threat earlier today."
"Fine." He sighed. "Thank you." He turned to Kenz.
"What next?" She looked at the boys.
"Why don't we go out?" He took her hand as his cell phone rang. "Yeah?"
"I'm watchin' the tele and I bet you're still in Dublin." Joe chuckled.
"You're a bloody fortune teller, ain't ya?" He chuckled.
"Wanna me Nat and me for dinner?"
"That would be lovely. Give Taylor a few extra hours to live it up, anyway."
"See you in a bit then." He hung up.

"Wow." Taylor drank down a shot of some dark liquid. "This is good shit, Jay."
"It's called black vodka. Dad seems to fancy it mixed with that energy stuff... Red Bull? Anyway, he seems to like it."
"Can I try?" Tristy smiled at him.
"Sure." He poured her a glass.

"Thanks for the invite." Sav spoke as they returned to Joe and Nat's.
"No prob. Wanna stop in for a few drinks before you head off?"
"Sure." He looked at Kenz and smiled.
They walked in and dropped their jackets on the sofa as Joe walked behind the bar. They watched as the boys ran off to the play room. "I've got this new drink that you have to try..." He moved the bottles around.
"It should be right there." Nat pointed. "I just went to the liquor store yesterday.”
"I may be gettin' old, but I don't see the bloody thing."
"Here!" Nat huffed as she pushed him out of the way. She looked around. "It's gone. So is the Jose, Dewar's and Smirnoff." She looked up at him.
Joe pursed his lips and looked at Sav. "Gee. I wonder where my darling daughter would have gone with such a large stash of alcohol?"
Kenz took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. "Let's go."

"Truth or dare!" Jayla slurred as she pointed to Taylor.
"Dare." He smiled.
"Um..." She looked around the room. "I dare you to... chug from this bottle of vodka."
"Ew! That shit's pure alcohol!" He took the bottle.
"Chicken!" Tristy giggled.
"Oh yeah?" He tipped the bottle up just as Sav and Kenz walked through the door.

Kenz stopped dead in her tracks as she watched her son with the bottle of vodka. Sav watched her and knew she was speechless. He decided to take over for her. "What in God's name are you doin'?" His voice echoed throughout the house.
Taylor choked and spit the clear liquid through his nose as he nearly dropped the bottle.
"Fuck me!" Jayla turned to run down the hall, only to be met by her father. "Dad!"
"What 'ave I told you about sneakin' off with me liquor?" He crossed his arms.
"Ask first." She pouted as she rolled her eyes.
"Joe!" Nat smacked him on the back of the head. "This is serious!"
"Well, I'd much rather know about it than 'ave her sneak around!" He watched as she gathered all of the bottles.
Kenz gazed at her son as the other kids quickly gathered their things and left. "I am... extremely disappointed in you." She calmed herself as she looked down at the bottle of vodka. So many memories flooded her mind that she had to shake them off.
"We were just 'avin' fun, Mum."
"No, you're playin' with fire is what you're doin'."
"C'mon, Dad still gets drunk occasionally! And don't tell me you never did, I'm not an idiot."
"I know you're not. And you're right. But... you're too young, Taylor."
"Whatever." He huffed and walked up to his room.
Joe walked Jayla out to the car as Nat stayed and watched Kenz. She looked at Sav with that look. Oh God, it had been years since he had seen that look. Why did it have to come back? She shook her head and ran up to her office where she slammed and locked the door.
"He needs to know, Sav." Nat whispered.
"When he's older." He looked away.
"Kenzie was 13 when she started drinking."
"I know." He closed his eyes.
She nodded her head and patted his arm. "Call if you need anything."
He turned and placed his hand on hers. "Thanks, Nat."
"Any time." She smiled and walked out the door.

Sav slowly walked up the stairs and stood at her office door. He listened for a moment and heard her crying. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before gently knocking. “Kenzie? It’s me, open up.”
She opened the door and leaned against the frame. “It’s happening, Rick.” Tears flowed as she watched him.
“C’mere.” He pulled her into his arms. “No, we won’t let it, baby. I promise.”

Phil sat on the bar stool and watched as Kenz paced back and forth.
“You’re startin’ to make the others nervous.” He leaned back.
“I can’t do this, Phil.” She sat next to him and drank from her glass of Dewar’s and soda.
“You have to tell your boys everything, Kenz. You owe it to them.”
“How do I do that, though? All Taylor’s heard from us the last fifteen years is how happy and wonderful life was for us and that I don’t drink.” She finished off her cocktail. “I can’t exactly say, ‘Oh yeah. I’m an addict, too.!” She sighed.
“Deep breaths, love.” He patted her back. “He’s a smart boy, Taylor. If you don’t tell him, he’s gonna find out. And I promise you, you’ll wish you would have told ‘im.”
“I know, I know.” She stared at her new drink. “He acts so much like me sometimes… I swear it’s like reliving my teenaged years all over again.” She quickly guzzled it down.
“I have no doubt about that.” He smiled. “Oh, and Anita wants to ‘ave you all over next weekend for dinner.”
“Can’t next weekend. Dad and Alex are in for a holiday.”
“Bring them too! I’d love to see how Rog is. We could get a game of poker together.”
“I’ll run it past him.” She kissed his cheek and then threw a wad of money down. “Thanks, Philly.”
“No problem.”

Sav walked in that night to see her drinking down a bottle of Milanta. “You okay?” He watched her.
“Just friggin’ dandy.” She slammed the empty bottle on the counter.
“What’d you eat today?”
“Food. That would have probably soaked up the alcohol a little better.” She held her stomach.
“Kenz! You know you can’t drink.”
“I needed it in the worst way.” She rubbed her face. “Phil thinks we should tell him. I know Dad will think so too.”
“You ready to do that? ‘Cause I’m not.”
“Not exactly. But I’d rather he hear it from us than finding out on his own.”
“True.” He hugged her. “True.”

“There’s my boy!” Roger hugged Taylor tightly. “How’ve you been?”
“I’m fine, Grandpa.” He smiled.
“I like the hair cut!” Alex fussed over him. “But when did you do this?” She pointed to his pierced ear.
“A few weeks ago. You like it?” He walked off with her to the kitchen.
“So? What’s new?” Roger sat down with Sav.
“Not much. Kenz has definitely changed her mind about tryin’ one more time for a girl. Brady is about to wear her ass out.”
“It would probably just be another boy anyway.” He chuckled.
“Probably.” He laughed. “Can I get you a beer?”
“That would be lovely.” He looked up as Alex and Taylor returned from the kitchen carrying a chocolate cake.
“Happy Birthday, Grandpa.”
“Did you make this?”
“Yeah. AuI used one of Mum’s old recipes.”
“Oh, I love your Mum’s chocolate cake.” He hugged him. “Thank you!”
“I hope you like it. I’ve never really baked anythin’ before.” He looked at his Mother as she walked in.
“Can’t be any worse that my cooking.” Sav whispered as Taylor erupted in laughter.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Kenz leaned over and kissed her father. “Happy Birthday, Dad.”
“Thanks, darling.”
“Are you getting lunch then?” Alex groaned.
“No, we’re goin’ out!” Sav smiled. “Phil’s invited us via Anita. I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“Not at all. I haven’t seen the other lads in a long time.”
“You know the others?” Taylor’s eyes widened.
“Oh yeah. Your Mum always had parties where we got together.” Roger winked at him.
“She was a partier?” He raised his eyebrows.
Roger stopped and looked between Kenz and Sav. “Surely you’ve seen the pictures.”
“Not yet.” Kenz sighed.
“I’ve seen a lot of pictures.” Taylor looked between them.
“You’ve never been to the house in London.” Sav looked at him. “It’s where your Mum and Aunt Nat lived when they first moved to England. There’s a wall of pictures that they added to after every party. There are a lot of photos of her and her friends.”
“I think Nat said there were 128 frames?” Roger sipped his beer.
“Wow. That must be a big wall.” Taylor smiled. “When can I see it?”
“Ask Nat. She owns it now.” Kenz crossed her arms.

Taylor walked in the door after the last day of school before winter break and headed straight for the kitchen.
"Where 'ave you been?" Kenz looked up from cutting vegetables.
"Jayla's." He sat down his bag. Taking a deep breath he looked at his mother. "I want to go to London."
"I'll 'ave to call Gran first." She wiped her hands.
"No, I want to go visit your old house."
Kenz stopped and stared at her son. It was time. She could tell that he'd caught on to the fact that there were still things he didn't know about her.
"Please, Mum." He pulled out a book. "I've read it and I want to know why you wrote these things."
Kenz stared at her diary. She hadn't even thought about it being in the box of stuff in the attic. She also knew the questions that must be going through Taylor's mind right now. She'd boxed up her diary and photos of Steve after she and Sav were married. Her seemed to be the once place she could open her feelings up at all those years ago, and she had decided to put them all away, hide them. Especially the first one.
“You’re right. It’s time I took you to see the house.” She picked up the phone.
“Are you callin’ Aunt Nat?” Taylor grabbed a soda.
“I need the keys to the house.” She dialed. “Then I’m gonna call your Uncle Phil to go with us.”

“I don’t like this, Kenz.” Sav paced as she packed.
“I won’t tell him… too much. Not the really bad stuff.”
“I want to be there.”
“You will be, you can come out with Joe and Nat. I just think Phil and I need to do this first. He needs to know about Steve too.”
“God, Kenz! You’re playin’ with fire.”
“Please trust me on this one, Sav. Believe it or not, I know what I’m doing.” She closed her suitcase. “And I’m going to do it.”
He watched her for a moment. “Call me when you get there.”
“I will.” She kissed him.

Kenz, Phil and Taylor walked into the house and looked around. She smiled as she closed her eyes and memories came rushing back. “God, I’ve missed this place.”
Phil returned her smile and then looked at Taylor. “You take Aunt Nat’s old room. I’ll take the sofa.”
“You don’t have to sleep on the sofa anymore, Philly. You can have the spare room.” She giggled as she walked up the stairs.

“Where’s Mum?” Taylor walked back downstairs.
“Unpackin’.” Phil looked up. “Why don’t we go out back and give her a few minutes.” Phil walked him outside. He’d noticed that Taylor was carrying a book and when they reached the lawn chairs decided to ask about it. “Whatcha got there?”
“Mum’s diary.” Taylor handed it to him. Phil stared at the book. The guilt and pain of loosing one of his best friends came flooding back. “She mentions you a lot in it.” He sat down next to him.
“She does?” Phil took the book and opened it up. Briefly he read over a couple of entries and Taylor noticed the tears that rolled down his cheeks.
“You and Mum used to be really close, weren’t you?”
“Aye, we still are.” His eyes remained on the book. “She’s the greatest person I’ve ever known.”
“She loves you. She considers you the brother she never had.” Taylor flipped to an entry where his mother had written those very words.
“You’re a lot like her.” Phil finally looked at him. “She’s very proud of you, ya know.”
“Doesn’t seem like that lately.” Taylor leaned back in his chair. “She freaks out at every lit’l thing I do.”
“That’s because there’s a lot you don’t know about me.” She stood at the back door. She waived her son into the house and led him to the living room and pointed to the frames hanging on the wall.
“Wow.” Taylor tipped his head back. Kenz and Phil both chuckled.
“Your Mum was never lackin’ in friends.” Phil refreshed his memory with the photos on the wall.
“I’ve been very lucky.” She followed. Taylor continued to look over the pictures asking a question here and there about whom certain people were.
“Him!” Taylor pointed to a picture of Kenzie, Phil, and another man with blonde hair. “I’ve seen several pictures of the three of you together.” He looked at Phil. “Who is he?”
“That would be Steve.” Kenz rested her hands on Taylor’s shoulders.
“He was a good friend of me and your Mum’s.” Phil added. “He was a guitarist in the band before he died.”
“Mum wrote a lot about him too.” Taylor continued looking through the pictures. Friends always surrounded Kenz and there was several of her with Sav, several with the lads and also a few with Roger and other bands.
“Mum knew all these people?”
“I did, yeah.” She reached for the shelf next to the tele and grabbed a hand full of videos. “Come ‘ere.”
They all three sat down on the couch as she pressed the play button. The first of the old videos that had been recorded started to play.
“Mum!” Taylor gasped as the camera pointed to Kenz. “I didn’t know you had videos.” He looked at his mother.
“That whole cabinet is full of them.”

"Yo, Steve!" Phil stood in front of him with the camera.
"Piss off!" Steve smiled and flipped the bird at the camera.
"Nice." Phil laughed. He moved on to capture Sav. "Keeping his eye on the lady." Phil spoke.
"Do you know how cheesy you sound talkin' to that bloody thing?" Sav laughed.
"Just call 'em like I see 'em."
"Move on then." Sav pushed him out of his way.

"You all look so young." Taylor's eyes were glued to the television.
"Thanks." Phil chuckled. He could really hear how cheesy he sounded now, years later.

"Let me 'ave that." Joe took the camera from Phil. "Now you talk nice to the camera." Joe aimed it towards him.
"I'm Phil Collen." He smiled.
"And I'm not!" Rick popped his head over Phil's shoulder.
The camera shook as Joe busted out in laughter.
"Rick's drunk!" Kenz laughed.
"We all are." Nat smiled at her.
"Oh, yes." Joe turned the camera on the girls. "Tell us ladies, what is your favorite Def Leppard song?"
"Def Leppard?" Kenz looked at Nat.
"Who are they?" Nat turned back to the camera.
"Funny." Joe kept the camera on them. "C'mon tell Joe your favorite song."
"I don't think I've heard any of their songs." Nat giggled.
"Oh, I know!" Kenz took a quick drink. "Autograph!"
"Wanker!" Phil huffed.
"I think she broke the camera." Joe turned it around and looked into it.
"That was low." Sav smacked her lightly on the back of the head.
"Def Leppard does not sing 'Autograph'." Joe spoke into the camera. "Our voices and instruments would never play the same if we sang a bloody John Denver song." He then turned the camera back on the girls. Phil, Joe and, Sav all three looked at each other and then the girls.
"It's Photograph!" They yelled.
"Oh!" Kenz giggled.
"Close enough." Nat followed.

They watched a few videos before they headed off to bed. Kenz tossed and turned all night. Drug and alcohol hazed memories flashed through her mind. Finally, after trying to sleep for three hours she gave up and walked downstairs. She found Phil in the kitchen drinking on a bottle of Dewars.
"Can't sleep?" She sat down beside him.
"To many memories in this house." He gave a painful huff.
"Tell me about it." She rubbed her eyes. "Tay couldn't take his eyes of the tele for two seconds tonight."
"He's anxious to know everythin' about his Mum." Phil shuffled some photos he'd been looking at.
"I'm still strugglin' for a way to put it."
"He's gonna figure it out. He saw on the videos where I got you several times chuggin' from a bottle of Smirnoff."
"I know." She rubbed her face.
"He needs you to tell him." Phil finally looked over at her. "You owe it to him.”
"You always 'ave a way of puttin' it right out there." She chuckled.
"Yep. That’s why you’re me best mate."

The next morning Taylor walked into the kitchen and sat down. Kenz was reading the paper and Phil was cooking breakfast.
"I 'ave a question." Taylor stated. "In your diary you always sounded so sad but in the videos you looked so happy."
"I know. I was a complex person back then."
Taylor thought a minute before he spoke again. "In your diary you talked about how much you hated Phil for helpin' put you in rehab. What were you doin' there?"
Phil dropped the spoon he was holding and his face grew pale. Kenz looked at his son and took a deep breath.
"What I'm about to tell you....I want you to hear me out before you jump in." Her hands began to shake. She wished Sav, Joe, Nat and the others were here. With all of them here it would be a little easier to handle. "I kept a lot of things bottled up inside me. I always felt the need to be what I thought everyone expected me to be." She paused as she searched for the right words. "Over the years that got to be harder and harder for me to do. So,...to escape from the stress I would go off by myself to be myself. Relax the fake smile for a while."

Taylor's face held a look of confusion.
"To help with the pain I drank....heavily. After some time I began to take the trips with Steve. The two of us seemed to understand each other. We believed our lives were the same." She felt drained so Phil stepped in. He knew it was the next part that she couldn't bring herself to say.
"During those trips, which I was the only one to know about for a while, your Mum began to use drugs." He watched Taylor's face turn to shock. "She quickly got addicted to cocaine and anti depressants."
"After several months of hidin' it from the rest of the group, I moved to New York when and took a job with Rolling Stone. The group and your father came to visit me some time after I’d moved and I od'd." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "It was then that Phil called your grandpa and they took me to a rehab clinic in LA. I spent three months there."
"When did you come back?" Taylor couldn't stay silent any more.
"She came back to England for Aunt Nat and Uncle Joe's weddin'." Phil answered.
"Why?" Taylor began to cry. "Why would you do that to yourself?"
"I was depressed. Everything I went through in life began to bring me down. It was when your Dad and I got back together and I learned that she I pregnant with you that I truly began to heal."

"Steve died of an overdose in 1991." Sav spoke from the doorway. Relief washed over Kenz’s face. "She felt guilty for not bein' 'ere." He crossed the room with the others following him. He walked up and wrapped his arms around her.
"She'd taken an assignment in Japan and wasn't here when Steve died. She felt that if she'd have been here she could have done something to prevent it." Nat added.
"Then the lads went to work on finishin' the album and lookin' for a new guitarist. She resented me for a while though we were friends." Viv chimed in.
"We all loved your Mum and were determined to stand by her when she relapsed again after you were born." Rick ran his hand through his hair.
"She found Steve's old lyric book that I would give anythin' to go back and trash the moment I found it." Joe sniffed. Kenz reached over and took his hand as she gave him a warming smile. "She found letters from Steve in there that he never sent her."
"See, Steve was in love with your Mum." Phil looked at Taylor.

The went on to tell him about all the times they shared with Kenzie. The stories on some of the pictures on the wall and how Phil, Steve, and Kenz came to be known as the Three Blondes.
"I didn't even know I had an Aunt Rory." Taylor finally spoke again.
"None of us 'ave spoken to her since that day." Sav huffed. They were again silent for a bit.
"So, Mum was an addict. No wonder you flipped when Jay and I had a party."
"I flipped cause you had a bottle of vodka tipped to your mouth." Kenz put her arm around her son.
"Your mom was only 13 when she began drinking." Nat patted his hand. "Your parents only want for you not to follow down the same path she took."
"She’s been clean for the last fourteen years.” Phil looked proudly at Kenz. “And she’d been the happiest we’ve ever seen her.”

They talked for a while longer and Taylor finally felt the need to be alone for a while. He excused himself to the basement. There he fumbled through a few boxes and drawers in the desk. It was there that he found a role of undeveloped film. Taking what Nat and his Mum had taught him he spent the rest of the evening developing the film.
The next morning Sav walked downstairs and found him slumped over the desk sleeping. The pictures he'd developed scattered around him.
"Tay." He shook his shoulder.
"Mmm." He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Mornin'."
"What did you find 'ere?" Sav grabbed the pictures.
"I found a role of undeveloped film." He looked up. Sav noticed his bloodshot eyes. He looked through the pictures.
"These were taken just days before… she got sick." Sav looked puzzled. How did they get back to the house in London? "The lads were over at the house. It was the night you took your first steps." He smiled.
"Can I keep them?"
"Of course." He handed them back to him. "Let's go. We 'ave a plane to catch."

Two months later, the entire group gathered around Nat and Joe's television and watched a show called "Rock N Roll Picture Show". It showcased the best photographers in rock from the past 25 years. There were other photographers such as Ross Halford, Linda McCartney, and Andy Warhol that were honored as well as Kenz and Nat.
"Number Five is Natalie Elliott, a name synonymous with action and style."
"See? Action and style." Joe kissed her cheek.
"And fuckin' number 5!" She huffed.
"I think you should 'ave been number 2, Mum." Jayla smiled at her.
"Two?"
Joe shook his head. "One, Jay. One."
"Sorry." She returned to the show.
Vivian laughed and looked at Sav as he followed and then returned back to the show.
"And finally, our Number One photographer... she is a star amongst stars. It's said that she knows what a person is going to do before they do. She's Mackenzie Savage."
The piece went on to showcase of few of her more famous photos, as well as a few of her best ones. They then ended with commentaries from Phil, Natalie, Sav, Roger, and surprisingly, Jason Bonham.
"What the fuck!" Sav spat.
"Shhh." Phil waved at him.
"Kenzie is not only a great photographer, but a great person. It was a great loss to the world when she retired." He teared up.
"Wanker!" Rick threw a paper wad at the tele.
"You'd know!" Vivian yelled.
"Welp." Joe turned the television off. "I think it's broken now. Let's adjourn to the den for drinks, shall we?"
"We'll tend bar!" Jayla and Taylor quickly jumped in.
"Not too strong." Joe pointed at her.
"Just the usual, Dad." She winked at him.
"What'll it be?" Taylor looked around as one by one he sat five shot glasses on the bar and then proceeded to fill them with tequila.
Everyone froze.
"What?" He stopped. "No tequila t'night?"
"Why did you just do that?" Vivian pointed to the glasses.
"Do what?"
"You lined up five shots." Phil ran his fingers through his hair.
"Uh... yeah. There are five of you standing before me, and Mum doesn’t drink." He looked at Jayla. "Jay and I'd be happy to down them for ya..."
"I think not." Sav glared at him.
"Well then, drink! Can't make the whiskey Gods angry, can we?" He grinned.
"Tequila is not whiskey, boy!" Joe looked up in horror. "Savages, you've not properly educated the lad in drink!"
"We see what your education is like!" Rick pointed to Jayla, who was drinking from a bottle of peach schnapps.
"Jayla!" He grabbed the bottle. "Pace yourself, love."
"I'm takin' you home before the Elliott's rub off on ya." Sav pointed to the door.
"Dad!" Taylor huffed.
"Now." He lowered his brow.
"Bye." He pouted as he followed him out the door.

Sav and Kenz laid in bed and talked later that night.
“How do you think he’s doing?” She ran her fingers across his chest.
“I think he’s takin’ it all in right now. That was a lot of information to digest.”
“I feel bad for not telling him everything. How I almost killed myself doing that shit.”
“No one needs to know that. And I don’t want you reliving it by telling him. It’ll just dredge up all those memories and get your ulcer goin’ again.”
“Maybe you’re right.” She sighed.

Taylor sat in his mother’s office and stared out the window. The view of Dublin was spectacular from this room. He had waited till his dad had left for Joe's and his mum took the boys to the park before locking himself in the room. He brought all his things regarding his mom with him and had them scattered about the room. He had been looking through them all when he spotted a video tape on the shelf next to the desk. His curiosity got the better of him as he stuck in the VCR and pressed play.

"Kenzie!" Phil yelled from behind the camera.
"Hey, Philly!" She smiled.
"That would be our dear Mackenzie Savage."
"That's me." She giggled.
"And don't forget, Roger Taylor's daughter!" Rick laced his arm around her shoulders.
"That's right." Viv spoke from the other side of her.
"More importantly, she's my wife." Sav stood behind her and pulled her into his arms.
"My favorite title yet." She kissed him. "Besides bein' a mother."
"I can handle that." He gave her a smile.
"And I am the Master!" Joe butted in front of them.
"Get over it!" They all yelled. They were all still fussing when Kenzie's cell phone rang.
"Mackenzie Savage." She stepped away so that she could hear.

"You're up, love!" Joe smiled at her over the table.
"Shit!" She took another drink. Finishing half the glass she sat it down and grabbed a pool stick. She leaned over the table and eyed the ball.
Everyone watched, as she didn't move. She blinked her eyes as a shiver came over her body. Her hands were shaking as her eyes slowly met Sav's.
She dropped the stick and ran for the bathroom and Nat quickly followed.
"First drink she's had in four months?" Joe looked at Sav.
"Yep." He smiled. That smile quickly faded as he heard the blood-curling cry from Nat.
"Joe!" She stood white as a ghost in the doorway to the restroom.

Taylor noticed at that point that the camera dropped on the pool table but kept recording.

The guys quickly pushed their way in and found Kenz on the floor. She was shaking so badly that she looked as though she was having a seizure. Phil bent down and looked at her eyes. His eyes turned and met Sav's and he saw Jason and Rory standing in the doorway.
"It's a reaction to the Narcon." Phil groaned. Joe quickly pushed him aside and picked her up.
"Miss Kenzie take a hit?" Jason smirked.
"You bastard!" Sav slammed him against the wall. "What the fuck did ya do?"
"She's an addict. She always will be!" Jason retaliated.
"Let's go." Phil glared at Rory and Jason as the group left with Kenz in tow.

Taylor stopped the tape as he threw the remote at the television. That was the last straw. All the emotions he'd been holding back over the things he'd learned about his mom finally bubbled to the surface.
"Mum, why!" He yelled. That tape was after they were married. His parents told him that she had an episode where she got sick and that’s what her ulcer problem came from. But there she was. Lying on the floor. Did she OD a second time? After her second rehab? What ever it was, they weren’t telling him the whole truth. And it was up to him to find it.
He laid on the couch and cried for a long while before he picked up the phone to call Jayla.
"'Ello?" Jayla flipped through the channels on the tele.
"I'm leaivn'." He walked to his room.
"What? TK, what the hell are ya talkin' about?"
"I can't take this right now. I need to get away and sort through all this." He pulled his suitcase from the closet.
"Then I'm comin' with you." She jumped off her bed.
"No!" He huffed.
"Tuff! Either I come and make sure you're ok or I march downstairs and tell your dad what's goin' on!"
He pouted for a minute as he debated what to do. He knew she'd hold true to her threat and ruin everything. "Fine. Meet me at the airport in an hour." He hung up.
He quickly packed his suitcase and called the airlines.
"Yes. Taylor Savage. No, we'll be flyin' alone??.Our fathers are in London workin' and we are to join them for the remainder of their trip." He lied to the attendant. "Great. Thanks!"

Jayla carefully packed a bag and then stuck it back in her closet. She checked her reflection in the mirror before she headed downstairs to check things out.
"Jay.." Phil walked up behind her in the kitchen.
"Shit!" She jumped and placed her hand over her chest. "Don't do that!"
"Sorry." He chuckled. She seemed a little jumpy.
"Where's dad?"
"Downstairs." He grabbed a few bottles of water.
"Oh. 'ave you seen Mum then?" She tried to sound calm.
"Shoppin'." He watched her.
"Great. Thanks!" She kissed his cheek and ran back up stairs. Phil just shook his head before walking back downstairs.

Taylor looked at his watch as he waited. Damn! Where the hell was she?
"TK!" Jayla ran up.
"It's about time." He huffed.
"Well you try getting' your arse out of a house full of adults without bein' noticed." She crossed her arms.
"Did anyone see you?"
"No. When's our flight?"
"Flight 1256 to London now boarding at Gate 34."
"That's us." He grabbed their bags and headed for the gate. "If they ask any questions we are goin' to London to meet up with our dads." He looked over at her.
"Gotcha."

They handed the attendant their tickets and boarded the plane. Taylor was quiet throughout the hour long flight. Once they landed they hailed a cab and headed for the house.
"Who's is this?" Jayla looked up at the house as they pulled in the driveway.
"Your Mum's." He grabbed their bags and paid the driver. "She and my Mum lived 'ere when they first moved to England."
"Wow." She looked around as they walked in.
"Your Mum's room was the second door to the left upstairs. You can go on up if you want."
"Are you gonna tell me what's botherin' you?"
"Later, Jay. I just need to think right now." He walked to the wall of photos and once again looked through them. He loved seeing his mother's smile.
It was hard to believe that she had been involved with any drug. Not his Mum. An addict? Addicts were the homeless wretches that lived under the bridges in Dublin. Not his Mum. He wiped under his eyes and walked to the bar where he found a few bottles of Dewar's and some cheap tequila. He then thought for a moment and walked down to the darkroom. He found the key to the bottom drawer of the desk and opened it to find a hidden bottle of vodka.
"How did you know that was there?" Jayla spoke from the stairs.
"She used to drink this when she was depressed. I just thought of a place where she might hide some... and it was here."
"Are you depressed?"
"I'm... overwhelmed by everything, Jay." He looked up at her with tears in his eyes.
They stared at one another for a very long time. They had been friends since... well, as long as he could remember. And not once did he ever take the time to realize how beautiful she was. "Thanks for comin’, Jayla."
"You're welcome." She smiled at him. "Now you gonna show me around this place, or what?"

After a quick tour, Taylor went through the photo wall and tried to remember as many stories as possible.
"Wow. My parents look so... young."
"You should see the videos."
"Videos?" Her eyes widened.
"C'mon." He took her hand and led her to the sofa. They each opened a bottle of liquor and drank as they pointed and laughed.
"Your Mum really gave Uncle Sav hell, didn't she?" She laughed.
"She did." His smile disappeared.
"Tay..." She paused the tape.
"I'm fine." He looked at her.
"No you're not." She placed her hands on his cheeks. "You're scarin' me."
"Trust me. I'm a lot better than I was." He moved a strand of hair from her face. "Especially with you here."
She closed her eyes as she quickly brought her lips to his.

Sav walked into the house that night to find Kenz in the kitchen cooking. He smiled as he dipped his finger into the sauce.
“Stop it!” She smacked his hand. “I hope you’re hungry.”
"Aye." He licked his finger. “God that just gets better and better.” He kissed her.
“Thank you.” She giggled.
He looked around. "Where's Tay?"
"I 'aven't seen him." She frowned. "I thought maybe he'd went over to Jayla's while you were workin'."
"I never saw him." He went upstairs and checked his room. Then he dialed the phone.
"Hello." Nat stood over the stove.
"Aye, Nat. Me son wouldn't be over there with Jay now would he?"
"I haven't seen him." Nat looked around the room. "As a matter of fact?.I haven't seen Jayla for a couple of hours."
Sav sighed. "Maybe they went to the mall or a movie."
"Maybe." She turned back to her pot. "I'll tell ya what. If he shows up I'll send him home."
"Same 'ere." He hung up. Kenz had already served the lasagna onto plates and sat them on the table in front of the boys. "Put Tay's in the oven."
"I'm sure he's alright." Kenz tried to re-assure him. "He's just off bein' a teenage boy."
"That's what worries me." He sat down.

Joe walked up the stairs ten minutes later.
"Dinner ready?" He kissed Nat's cheek.
"Yep." She turned the burner off. "Have you seen Jay?"
"Not since this mornin'." He grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge.
"Why?"
"Sav can't find Taylor and Jayla's not around?.."
"I'm sure they're just off causin' trouble somewhere." He chuckled.

He had kissed girls before, but this was so much different. Like he didn't want it to end. He wrapped his arms around her as they laid back onto the sofa. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pushed her hips into the cushions.
"Mmm." She smiled. "Maybe we should take this upstairs."
"Why? No one's here?" He rubbed his nose against hers.
"I'd just like my first time to be in a bed."
"Your first time?" He smiled. "But you brag about gettin' it all the time."
"Well... a girl's gotta have her secrets, doesn't she?"
"I suppose." He kissed her. "That's okay. It's my first time too."
"Really?" She watched as he sat up. She then took his hand and led him up the stairs to her mother's old room.
He stopped in the doorway when he saw the bed.
"What is it?" Jayla turned to look at him.
"N... nothin'." He kept his eyes on the bed.
"It's okay, Tay." She smiled. "Now kiss me again like you did down there." She wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her.

They slowly made it over to the bed, and then he stopped kissing her. They stared at one another, hearts pounding in their chests. She slowly reached up and began to unbutton her shirt. She then let it fall to the floor and reached for his shirt.
He pulled it over his head and let it drop to the floor. She smiled as she turned around. With shaky hands, he unfastened her bra. His fingers brushed her skin lightly and they were surprised by the electricity they felt. He slid his hands across her skin and pushed the straps off her shoulders. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she again turned to face him.
"Why are your eyes closed?" He whispered.
"I don't know." She responded.
"You 'ave nothin' to be embarrassed about." He pushed his body against hers. "You're beautiful."
"You really think that?" She finally opened her eyes.
"I know it." He kissed her.
They both took their jeans off and watched each other closely as they removed the rest. They then took their time, touching and exploring each other's bodies as they laid on the bed. He gently slipped his finger inside her as she closed her eyes and smiled.
"Oh." She moaned. "Taylor!" She pushed her hips into his fingers.
"Are you..."
"Don't stop!" She screeched as her body began to shudder.
He watched her as she tried to catch her breath. "You all right?" He kissed her.
"That was amazing." She wrapped her arms around him.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." He smiled at her.
"Your turn." She pushed him down and rolled on top of him.
"My turn for what?" He swallowed hard.
"To enjoy yourself." She moved her hand between them.
"You'll tell me if it hurts, right?" He watched her. "Just say the word and we'll stop."
"You worry too much." She kissed him as she slowly lowered herself onto him.
"Mmm." He dug his fingers into her hips.

She began to move slowly at first, but soon their bodies were in rhythm with one another.
"Does it hurt?" He breathed.
"No." She smiled.
"Good." He pushed her over and pressed her body into the mattress.
"Oh God!" She didn't know what to hold onto, so she grabbed the first thing that came to mind... his ass.
"Oh!" He closed his eyes as he felt her shudder again. It was too much for him and he felt himself let go inside her.
They laid there for a long while, staring into one another's eyes.
"What are you thinking?" He kissed her.
"That this was a lot messier than I imagined." She smiled for him.
"Funny." He rolled over onto his back.
"So what does this mean?" She rolled onto her side and watched him. "I mean, are we a couple now?"
"That depends." He smiled at her. "You wanna date me?"
"I don't know. You've got that whole rock n roll soccer player thing goin' for ya that the girls can't resist." She teased.
"And you have the greenest eyes I've ever seen." He kissed her.
"Look in the mirror sometime, Savage." She grinned. "Fine. We're dating."
"It's settled then." He walked to the bathroom.
"Where are you goin'?"
"The shower." He stopped in the doorway. "Care to join me?"
She raised her eyebrows and then followed him down to the bathroom.

After their shower, they dressed and walked down to the living room again.
"I'm hungry." She held his hand tightly. "Why don't we go eat?"
"I'm not really hungry." Jayla noticed that he once again had that sad, empty look in his eyes.
"You need to eat, TK. Please?" She pulled him to the door.
He looked around the neighborhood as they walked around. This is the same area where his mother used to go jogging. These are the same people that she used to know. His grandfather had told him that she loved London. He stopped when he saw a sign that read, "Barney's".
"What is it?" Jayla looked around.
"Barney's. That was her favorite pub here in London."
"Then let's go in." She pulled him behind her.

They sat at a booth, ordered their food, and looked around. In the back were three pool tables. There were also a few signs on the wall that he recognized from photos. He tried to burn it all into his memory. He was interrupted by Jayla holding his hand. He looked over to see her smiling.
"What?"
"Look at the bar tender over there."
"So?"
"He's pretty old. Maybe he knows your Mum."
"Worth a try." He took a deep breath and walked up to the bar.
"'Ello, lad. You look a lit'l young for a pint."
"Oh, I just wanted to ask a question."
"Fire away." He smiled.
"How long 'ave you worked here?"
"Since the dawn of time, lad." He chuckled.
"Did you know Mackenzie Savage?"
"Mackenzie Savage..." He smiled brightly. "I knew her when she went my Kenzie Thomas, and Taylor too!" He laughed. "Why do you ask, lad?"
"She’s my mother."
"A fine, fine lass, your mother." He pointed to a seat. "Pull up a chair and I'll tell you a few tales of your Mum and the entire group of hooligans she called friends."
Taylor waved at Jayla and she brought their food over. "This is Jayla Elliott..."
"Aye, lass! Joe and Nat's girl! Nice to meet ya, lass!"
"And you as well, Mr..."
"Pete. Just call me Pete."

Pete proceeded to tell them stories of the girls... the guys... the three blondes... he even told them how Kenzie got the whole group to order their shots five at a time so that there was less running back and forth to the bar.
"That's why they all freaked out." Jayla smiled at him.
"Figures." He huffed.

Later, they walked back to the house and Taylor was once again quiet.
"You didn't find the answers you were lookin' for, did you?" She took his hand.
"No." He stopped and looked at her. "There's somethin' I want you to see."
"What is it?"
"I found a video that Uncle Phil was tapin' the night she supposedly got sick."
"Why would you want to watch that, Tay?"
"Because... just watch it." He led her into the house and turned on the VCR.
She wrapped her arms around him and watched. Kenzie was so beautiful.
And it was apparent that Taylor had her eyes. They looked so happy. That was until...
"Wait a minute." She pointed. "Stop the film."
"What?" He handed her the remote.
"Standing by the door. That's that guy from the show the other night... Jason B..."
"Bonham." He thought about the reactions of the group upon seeing his face. "Jason Bonham."
"What are you thinking?" She watched as he stood and paced.
"Mum got sick from a reaction to the Narcon. That means that from the time that the first part of the film was shot and the last part..."
"...someone slipped her something."
"The beer." He rewound the tape further.
They watched as Kenz disappeared to the bar. In the background, they saw Jason and a blonde girl sneak up to the bar.
"Who's that?" Jayla pointed.
"That would be my Aunt Rory." He huffed. "They hurt me Mum, Jay!" He walked to the bar and finished off the vodka bottle he had started on earlier in the day. He then pulled two other bottles from the shelf.
"Where did you find those?"
"Can't give away all of Mum's secrets." He smiled at her.
With each drink, Jayla was growing more concerned. Sure, she was just as tipsy as he was. But he drank from that bottle with a vengeance. As if there were answers waiting at the bottom and he had to empty it out as soon as possible.
"I'm going to look for him."
"Who?" She whispered.
"Jason Bonham."
"TK..."
"I'm going to find him and ask him why he did it. Why did he felt the need to try kill my mother." He threw the empty bottle across the room. “He almost took her away from me, you know that?”
"Why don't we sleep on it, okay? You'll be thinkin' a little more clearer in the mornin'."
"No, I..."
"Please." She kissed him. "For me?"
He sighed heavily. "Fine!"
She helped him up the stairs and into the room where they spent the rest of the night, together.

The next morning Sav opened Taylor's room to see that his bed hadn't been slept in. He ran a hand through his hair and began to worry. They had dropped a lot of information on him lately and he'd seemed to handle it all in stride. Then the thought struck him. He'd been handling it so much like Kenzie would. Putting on an appearance on the surface.
"Damn!" He ran in to her den to grab the phone and stopped dead in his tracks. The pictures of Kenzie were still scattered around the room and the television was still on. Sav noticed the VCR was on and decided to see what he had been watching. There was no tape in the VCR. He began to rummage through the office to find the tape… the tape… the tape was gone. “Kenzie!” He quickly dialed the phone.
"What!" Joe grumbled.
"Did Jayla ever come 'ome?" Sav gasped.
"Sav?" He sat up.
"Did she?" He began to panic. He was pacing when Kenz walked in.
"I don't know." He got up out of bed. "Let me look." He walked down the hall and opened the door. Her bed had not been slept in either.
"She's not there is she?"
"No." Joe rubbed his face. "What do you think they're up to?"
"I'm not sure I want to know. Tay is gone and so is the tape in the den."
"Oh shit!" Joe closed his eyes. "Let me dress and we'll be right there."

“Do what?” Kenz panicked.
“How?”
“He was apparently in here.”
“Fuck!” She paced. “He thinks we lied to him now, Rick! We’ve lost him!”
“Shhh.” He held her. “Settle down, baby. We’re gonna fight.”

Within a half an hour Joe, Nat and Phil stood in their kitchen.
"Where do you think they went?" Nat looked around the group.
"I don't really know." Sav sighed. He smiled as Kenz walked around and refilled their coffee cups. She had to do something to keep herself busy.
"Don't smack me on the back of me head for this but, I think we need to approach this as if we were talkin' about Kenz leavin’ for a binge." Phil commented.
"He's right." Joe slumped into the chair. "What would you 'ave done?"
Almost as soon as the words were out of his mouth the same thought struck them all.
"Check the liquor cabinets." Sav walked over to his own. A small amount of relief came over him when he noticed nothing missing or opened.
"Well?" Nat turned to her.
Phil took a deep breath. "I did see Jay scopin' the house yesterday mornin'. I didn't think anythin' about it then." He rubbed his face.
“Any one of our houses that no one was around at the moment.” Kenz spoke out.
"London!" Sav grabbed the phone book.
"The house?" Joe watched him.
"I'll run home and check the keys." Nat started to stand.
"Don't bother. He made a set whilst we were there before."
Sav made a few phone calls while the others searched the den and Taylor's room. Finally, around noon, Sav hung up the phone.
"They boarded a plane for London." He looked at Joe. "Told the counter they were to fly there and meet us."
"I'm gonna ground her till she's thirty!" Joe gritted his teeth.
"I'm kinda glad she's with him." Kenz looked at Phil. "At least he didn't up and leave alone."
"True." He sighed. “But damn I can really sympathize with her right now.”
“I know.” She patted his hand.

Jayla woke up the next morning to an empty bed. She sat up and looked around the room. Maybe he already went downstairs so she quickly dressed and headed for the kitchen. She peeked in the other bedroom on her way down and didn't find him. He wasn't in the kitchen either. Quickly searching the house she found that he'd left.
"Dammnit, TK!" She huffed. She spun around as she heard the front door open. Instead of Taylor she watched as Kenz, Sav, Phil, Nat and Joe walked through the door. "Oh, shit!" She crossed her arms. She was gonna have to kill Taylor for this. He should have woken her and taken her with him.
"Jayla." Joe looked furious. She just rolled her eyes.
"Where is he?" Sav looked at her.
"Gone." She huffed.
"Don't take that tone with us." Nat stepped up.
"Well, I'm a litt'l pissed right now." Jayla proceeded.
"Gone where?" Kenz jumped in.
"I can't honestly say for sure." She smarted. "He was gone when I woke up."
"Jay, it's important that we know where he is." Phil pleaded.
"Ugh! You don't understand! He needs his space!" She turned and walked out the back door.
Phil looked at the others. "Let me give it go. I've been in the position she's in now."
"How so?" Joe looked at him.
"She's doin' her best to be a loyal friend. Obviously, whatever's happened so far, she feels that Tay told her in confidence." Kenz explained.
"Dammnit!" Sav looked around the room. There were still empty bottles on the tables. Empty vodka bottles. "We 'ave to find him."
Kenz nodded toward the back of the house. “Go on, Phil. We’ll wait here.”
“Kenz…” Sav looked at her.
“All we can do is wait and hope to God she listens to Phil.” She stared at the vodka bottles and then closed her eyes.

Phil found Jayla sitting on the edge of the pool. Silently, he sat down beside her and stuck his legs in the water. They sat there for a few minutes without saying anything.
"I've been in the spot you're in now." He spoke in a soft low voice.
"How so?" She kept her eyes on the water.
"I can't tell you the number of times that I kept a secret for Tay's Mum." He closed his eyes. Jayla noticed that everytime he talked about the past that he seemed so sad.
"So you understand why I can't tell you what I know."
"That's your decision." He looked at her. "I just came out here to let you know somethin'."
"What?" He had her attention.
"Right now you think you are doin' what's best for 'im. Keepin' his secrets." He shook his head. "Sometimes....sometimes it's best if you tell what you know."
"I can't." She huffed. "He's goin' through so much right now. He has to know that he can trust someone."
Phil watched her for a minute. He looked as though he was trying to read something in her eyes. He then continued in the same voice he been using.
"Sometimes you 'ave to follow your heart and do the right thing. Believe me." He left her there to think about what he'd said.

They sat around the living room while Sav paced the floor. Kenz sat by herself in the kitchen and stared at an empty bottle of vodka. Every once in a while one of them would look out the door to see Jayla still by the pool.
"I'm loosin' me mind!" Sav jumped as his phone rang. "'Ello?"
"Mr. Savage." Nancy spoke softly. "Any luck?"
"We've found Jayla but she won't tell us where Tay ran off to." Sav was near tears. He would die if he lost his son. “How are the boys?”
“Cameron’s fine, but Brady seems to have an upset stomach.”
“Here’s Kenz.” He handed her the phone. “Brady’s ill.”
“Nancy?” She grabbed the phone and walked into the living room.

Jayla watched him from the window and realized what she had to do. Phil was right. Sometimes you had to follow your heart and right now hers was breaking. She was worried about what Taylor might do to Jason if he found him. She worried most of all what he might do to himself. She walked in the house and stopped in the doorway to the living room.
Sav looked up at her. He didn't make a move.
Jayla let her eyes fall to Phil's as she took a deep breath. "He went lookin' for Jason Bohnam."
"Oh, God!" Nat covered her mouth.
"Joe!" Sav yelled as he headed for the door. Joe followed Sav to the car as they raced for Jason's house.
“Where’d they go?” Kenz dropped the phone and looked at Nat.
“Taylor went to find Jason, Kenzie.” She whispered.
“I have to go, Nancy.” She ran out the door while dropping the phone. She flew down the steps to see that the men were already half way down the street. “Damn!” She looked back at Nat.

Taylor looked at the address from the telephone book and then stared at the tiny, run down apartment. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
When it opened, he lost all of his train of thought. He was standing face to face with a woman that looked nearly identical to his mother.
"Yes?" She held a two year old in her arms as she spoke.
"Um... I'm lookin' for Jason Bonham."
"He doesn't live here anymore." She huffed. She couldn't help but notice his resemblance to... nah. Couldn't be. "Who are you?"
"Could you tell me where I could find 'im?"
"If you tell me who you are."
His face reddened as he looked into her eyes. Those eyes. They pierced through her just like her sister's used to.
"Look Rory, I don't 'ave time for your shit! Where is he?"
Her eyes widened as her suspicions were confirmed. "Taylor?" She whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Where the hell is he?" He yelled as he hit the frame of the door with his hand.
"The house across the street." She pointed. "Taylor, I’d love to talk to you some time. You know, visit. Catch up.”
"You're fourteen years too late." He turned and ran across the street.

Jayla fell to the floor and cried. She knew she'd done what had to be done for Taylor's sake but she also knew that she'd defied his confidence. Nat sat down next to her daughter and held her as she cried.
"He's gonna hate me, Mum." She cried.
"Shh." She rocked her back and forth. "You did the right thing."
"Oh, like you all did?" She pulled away. "My, God! She wasn't even my Mum and I was horrified at what I learned last night."
"Jay...."
"He's angry, Mum! And he has every right to be!" She ran up to her room.

His heart was racing as he pounded on the door.
"Bloody 'ell, man!" The door flew open. "What the fuck is it?"
"Do you know who I am?" Taylor clenched his fists.
"Not a fuckin' clue!" He huffed.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a photo of he and his mother. He then grabbed Jason by the back of the neck and pulled him out into the sunlight. "See that? Huh?" He pushed his head down to his hand.
"Bring back any memories Jason?"
Jason frowned as he looked at the photograph. "Kenzie..." He gasped.
"You tried to kill my mother, you son of a bitch." He pulled the picture away and punched him in the face.
"You don't understand." He backed away. "It was an accident."
"Oh, and I suppose you accidentally dropped cocaine into her drink." He smacked him across the face.
"She wasn't supposed to get sick!" He cried. "You've gotta believe me, Taylor. I love your mother."
"Then why?" He stopped and stared at him. "What on Earth possessed you to do what you did?" He waited for an answer.
"Rory and I thought... if she relapsed, Sav would 'ave left her. Rory could move on to be with him and I could finally 'ave her."
"You're a sick bastard!" He pushed him against the house.
"Taylor!" Sav yelled as he walked toward them. "That's enough!"
He stopped and turned to them. "This is none of your concern!"
"You're our concern!" Phil followed.
"We'll drag your ass back if need be." Joe walked toward them.
He shook his head and turned to Jason. "Seems to be your lucky day." He huffed and walked past the men without looking at one of them.

"What the hell were ya doin', huh?" Sav yelled as Joe drove back to the house.
"Somethin' you apparently didn't 'ave the balls to do!" He shot back.
"Trust me, I wanted to. Your Mum stopped me!"
"You knew!" He glared at him. "You knew and you lied to me!"
"I didn't lie to you!"
"Bull shit, dad!"
Phil and Joe looked at one another and sighed. This was worse than they could have possibly imagined.
"I'll tell you anything you want to know! Anything!" He pleaded as they stepped out of the car.
"It's a bit too late for that, don'tcha think?" He stormed up the steps and into the house where he began to pace.
Jayla ran out of her room and to the top of the stairs. He quickly looked up at her and glared. "Tay..."
"Save it." He huffed.
Kenz crossed her arms and watched him carefully. “Are you okay?”
“You should have told me, Mum.” He stared at her.
“What should I have told you?”
"Tay, you need to talk to us." Phil took a deep breath.
"Fuck you! I asked you all for the truth and you sat there and lied!"
"We just wanted to save you from the hell that we all lived through." Joe reached for his shoulder, but he pulled away.
"Hell? What do you call this? I thought I’ve known my mother well for the last fifteen years and then one day I read her diary only to find out that she was this... depressed alcoholic drug addict!"
"Taylor!" Sav had just about reached his tolerance. "That's not who she was, and it’s certainly not who she is now!"
"Well fuck you! You had your chance and you blew it. I don't believe a damn word that comes out of your mouth!"
"Son, please."
"I can't be around you and I certainly can't trust you." He looked up at Jayla. "Any of you!" He turned and walked out the door.
"Taylor!" Jayla ran after him. She caught up and grabbed his arm. "Taylor, please!"
"I trusted you!"
"It was me against the rest of them! You left me all alone to face them! I buckled! I'm so sorry!"
"Whatever!" He huffed.

Taylor stormed up the driveway to Roger's house with Jayla following behind him. He didn't know where else to go at the moment. He rang the bell and waited.
"Taylor....Jayla.." Roger opened the door.
"Hey, grandpa." Taylor whispered. "I didn't know where else to go."
"Come in." He ushered them into the living room. What were they doing in London alone?
"Hi, Mr. Taylor." Jayla tried to smile.
"'Ello, lass. What are you kids doin' 'ere?" He sat on the sofa.
"Ask Jay. I'm sure she'd be more than happy to share." He glared at her. Roger looked over at Jayla.
"I don't 'ave a clue why he came here." She choked. His anger towards her cutting straight to her heart.
Taylor shot up off the couch and walked behind the bar. Finding a bottle of vodka, he tipped his head back and poured the liquid down his throat.
"Taylor!" Roger yanked the bottle away. "What the bloody hell has gotten into you?"
"Everythin'!" Taylor shot back. "People I thought I trusted lied to me! About me own Mum!"
"What?" Roger looked between Taylor and Jayla.
"They all knew about her. They knew!”
"Jayla...what's he talkin' about?"
"He found the video from the night she had a reaction to the Narcon." Jayla cried. “The night she almost died.
"Oh, Tay." Roger reached out and pulled his grandson into his arms.
"I just wanted to know. I want to know." He pulled back and looked his grandfather in the eye. "I want to understand why Mum did what she did."
Roger took a deep breath. "Sit down then." He pointed to the sofa as he returned the bottle to the shelf.

Sav sat with Kenz at the table with his head in his hands as the others sat in the living room.
"Where do you think they went?" Joe looked at Phil.
"All their stuff's here. Couldn't be far." He looked into the kitchen.
He then stood and walked in. "We'll get 'im back."
"Can we?" He looked up at him, his eyes red from crying. "It's like goin' through rehab all over again.”
"We can't give up on him." Kenz patted his hand.
"I'd never give up on him. That's what Cindy did to you. And I'll be damned if he ends up like you did."

Jayla kept her distance for the time being as Roger began to tell them about Kenzie from the beginning.
"Your Mum grew up in LA. I've already told ya about her Mum taken her away and hidin' her from me."
"Yeah."
"I didn't meet up with her again till 1984." He smiled as he remembered that day. He brought him up to the night that Nat learned he was Kenzie's father. "I wanted to tell her then but Nat was right. She needed to hear it from Cindy."
"What a bitch." Taylor angered.
"When she did learn that I was her father and that everythin' her Mum had been tellin' her all her life was a lie....it only made her problem worse. Cindy hated the rock world and took every chance she could to cut down me and you dad. But, your Mum, she was fiesty. She never let Cindy 'ave the last word."
Jayla looked over and saw the tears in Taylor's eyes. She laced her fingers through his and gave them a gentle squeeze. She had to smile when she felt him squeeze them back.
"All of this was goin' on while your Mum and dad were just started to progress their relationship to somethin' more than friendship. When it began to get serious Kenzie got scared and took an assignment in Japan. Queen was on that tour so we got to spend a lot of time together."
"Monsters of Rock." Jayla whispered.
"Yes." Roger looked at her. "It was while she was on that assignment that Steve died."
"Aunt Nat says she blamed herself for it happening."
"She did. She was devistated at the loss. Steve's life resembled her own in so many ways. The two of them were like to peas in a pod. They understood each other better than anyone else."
"He died of an overdose of vodka and painkillers. I mean, that's what I've read. Is it true?" Taylor waited.
"He did. He and Kenzie would binge together. Go off for a week or so to anywhere they felt like and just be themselves. Most of the time Phil was the only one who knew where they were. He helped arrange them so no one would become suspicious."
"He still carries so much guilt." Roger sighed. "It was the second time your Mum was in rehab. She called him on Steve's birthday and against what he knew in his heart he should do, he checked her out and she disappeared for the afternoon. When they found her and your dad took her back,....the clinic put her back on the Narcon."
"What?" Taylor sat up straight. "But....."
"He knows. And, knowin' Phil the way I do, I know he's never forgiven himself for that decision."
"Sometimes you 'ave to listen to your heart." Jayla repeated Phil's words.

Natalie walked up the stairs to straighten the beds. It was definitely going to be a long night waiting up for the kids, and she needed something to do.
She walked into her old room and noticed Jayla's things. She smiled when she thought about her daughter staying in her room. She changed the bedclothes and made her way down the hall to Kenz's room. She took a deep breath and walked in.
The bed looked as if it hadn't been slept in. Maybe Taylor didn't want to stay in his mother's room. She walked down to the guest room and looked around. His bags were there, but the bed hadn't been slept in either.
She leaned against the wall and thought a moment. "Joe! Come here, please!"
He quickly ran up the stairs. "Yeah?"
"Tell me, out of three rooms, why has only one bed been slept in?" She crossed her arms and looked at him.
"Maybe someone slept on the sofa?"
"In a house with three beds?"
"You don't think... Jayla and Taylor?" He chuckled. "Not my lit'le girl!"
"Joe! She's like you in every other way!"
"She's never had a boyfriend, Nat! She's never really shown interest in boys!"
"What world are you livin' in, Elliott? Have you not seen the posters in her room lately?"
"Wh...no. I think you're paranoid, that's all. You miss her. So do I."
He wrapped his arms around her.

The three of them sat there for the next three hours as Roger told them about Kenzie's life the seven years he knew her.
"So, who owns the house in LA now?" Taylor asked.
"Your parents."
"Somethin' else they’ve never told me." he began to pace again. Jayla looked at Roger and he excused himself.
"When you kids are ready for bed, Tay knows where the guest rooms are." He walked up to his bedroom.

Jayla watched Taylor pace. She knew he was still angry at her and she couldn't blame him.
"I'm so sorry, TK. I wanted to be the last person to ever betray you." She sniffed.
"I don't know who I can trust anymore." He angered. "It seems as though grandpa is the only one willin' to tell the truth about her."
"It was Phil that got me to tell them." She admitted. "'Ave you ever noticed the look he gets whenever he talks about the past?"
Taylor thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess I 'ave." He calmed down. He knew Jayla had done what she thought was right. And even with the way he'd yelled at her, she was willing to stick by him. To be here for him to lean on.
"I think Phil was in love with your Mum as well." She spoke softly.
"She seemed to 'ave that affect on men." He sat beside her. "I'm sorry, Jay." He hugged her.
"Just let me stay with you. I don't want you to be alone right now." She cupped his face in her hands.
"Ok." He sighed as she leaned in and kissed him.

Roger stared at the phone. He needed to call Kenzie and let her know that the kids were here and ok.
"You've reached the Savage's. Leave a message and we'll call you back." The machine picked up.
"Kenzie, Sav, it's Roger. The kids are here and ok. Give me a ring when you get in." He hung up and crawled in bed.

He led her to a small room that contained a pool table.
"Pool?" She looked confused.
"No." He pulled her into his arms. "I need you, Jay." He kissed her. She could feel her body instantly respond to his touch. Her heart raced and a warm feeling took over her entire body. After removing their clothing, he placed her gently on the pool table. His hands caressing every curve of her body. His fingers slipping between her legs, he brought her to the edge of her first orgasm.
"Tay." She threw her head back.
"More?" He gave her that boyish smile. He could feel his own body throb with need.
"Yes!" She moaned as he slipped his way inside her and began to move.
He felt the frustration of the day melt away as he quickened his pace. He poured all the pent up energy he was feeling into bringing them both to climax.
"Jayla!" He pushed as deep as he could. He held her close till their breathing returned to normal then pulled her over to the couch. They held each other as they lay there in silence.

He woke up an hour later. Jayla still curled up in his arms. He watched her sleep and wondered if this is how his dad felt for his mum.
He got up and dressed before waking her up.
"Jay. Wake up." He gently shook her shoulder.
"Mmm." She blinked her eyes.
"C'mon. We're leavin'." He held out her clothes for her.
"Where we goin'?" She dressed.
"LA." He buttoned his shirt. "I'm gonna learn everythin' I can."
"Let's go then." She stood and grabbed his hand as they walked back up the stairs.

Nancy walked in the house from taking Cameron and Brady to the pediatrician. She saw the light flashing on the machine and pressed play expecting to hear Sav or Kenzie’s voices. Instead she heard Roger's message. Quickly she picked up the phone and dialed Sav's cell.
"Taylor?" Sav gasped.
"It's Nancy." She listened as he exhaled. "There was a message from Roger."
"And?"
"He's says that the kids are at his place and that they're alright." She listened as he cried in relief.
"Thank you. We’ll head over there now." He hung up and looked up as Joe and Nat came back downstairs.
"What?" Kenz read the look on his face.
"They're at Roger's." He grabbed his keys.
"Let's go." They all headed out the door.


"Our Mums used to do it all the time when they worked." He smiled. "It is beautiful 'ere, though. I can see why they liked it."
"Me too." She smiled.
They walked up to the door and stopped.
"Please tell me you 'ave a key. I need a shower in the worst way."
"Where would Mum keep a spare?" He looked around. The flower bed would be too obvious. Above the door? He felt around the top of the door jam and chuckled when he found it.
"Okay, you're startin' to scare me with this shit."
"Relax. Anyone could have gotten it."
"Then why is the house still here?" She raised her eyebrows as they walked in.
They stopped and looked around.
"Wow. There's another picture wall." She pointed.
"Cool." He walked over and began to look at all of the photos. There were many more people that they didn't know this time. A few movie stars he recognized... the three blondes... a photo of Uncle Rick, dripping wet, with a T-shirt that read 'I Love Dick'. He had to laugh at that one.
"Look at your Dad!" Jayla laughed.
He laughed as well to see his father in a tiny blue bath robe, and a very unhappy look on his face. "Mum must 'ave caught all of the touring jokes on film." He pointed to a photo of Phil and Steve and their glow-in-the-dark smiles.
"Apparently, she wasn't exempt!" She pointed to the photo of Kenz and Nat with red hair. "They had so much fun together." He sighed as he looked around. "Why don't you take a shower whilst I snoop?"
"Have fun." She kissed him and headed upstairs.
He quickly began going through drawers. All he ever seemed to find were photos everywhere. He then walked down to the film room and went through the drawers there. Not even one bottle to be found. They really did clean the house during his mother's second rehab.
He looked up at the CD player and decided to turn it on. What kind of music did his Mother listen to? Out poured the sad, melodic voice of Patsy Klein. He closed his eyes and imagined her sitting there, working diligently over a photo spread of the Leps.
"That music is so sad." Jayla walked down the stairs.
"But it suits her." He opened his eyes. "I can see why she liked it."
"Did you find anything?"
"Not really." He sighed. "This is where they all stayed."
"What exactly are you looking for?"
"Well..." He paused as he moved the cushions of the sofa. "They all talk about her first rehab. But she never mentions it in her diaries."
"Maybe she didn't write..."
"Oh, Mum wrote. I think she talked to the bloody pen more than she talked to my Dad." He huffed. "I just know there's a missing book."
"Well.. tell me where to look."
"Upstairs." He smiled at her.

Jayla went from room to room, looking in drawers and under the mattresses. She stopped when she reached the nursery. She smiled and leaned against the door.
"Where are you?" Taylor walked up the stairs.
"Your room." She giggled.
He walked in and looked around. "Wow." He smiled. "I must've been one spoiled baby."
"Obviously." She grinned.
He then walked past her and began digging through drawers. He looked in the closet, under the furniture...
"Maybe she didn't, Tay." She sighed.
"I know she did." He walked into the last room. He looked around and noticed the photo of he and his parents on the night stand. He walked into the closet and began to go through the old shoe boxes on the top shelf. There were receipts, old photos, but that was it.
"Look what I found." Jayla walked in with an old briefcase that had a 'Rolling Stone Magazine' ID tag on it.
"Where was that?" He took it from her.
"The hallway closet." She spoke as he opened it.

There were photos of Steve and Phil, and a book. He quickly opened it and began to read. His interest took a different turn when he came to the entries written during the Hysteria tour.
He read a few out loud to Jayla. They pertained to the jokes the played on the group. In a way they were listening to his mother tell the stories about the pictures on the wall. It was when the entries began to turn more personal that he read to himself again.
'Last night was amazing. I never thought I'd agree to anything like it. Phil and Steve were so gentle yet I could see an animal hunger in Phil's eyes. The excitement I felt was only heightened by the vodka and cocaine. What a powerful combination.' She wrote.
He continued to read. "I can't wait till this tour is over! If I hear the question "Are you and Sav an item now?" one more time I think I'll scream. Why can't everyone just leave us be and let us move at our own pace?"
Taylor ran his hand over the pages. He thought his mom sounded depressed in the last diary he read. This one was much worse.
"How could everyone expect me to commit to Sav when he can't himself? I caught him today with Joe and the others checking out a group of women in their bikinis."
"TK?" Jayla didn't like the expression on his face.
"What?" He looked up from the book.
"What is it?"
"The Hysteria tour was brutal on her." He sighed. "I'm surprised she didn't fall apart then."
"I've heard she was very good at hidin' her feelin's." She sat down beside him.
“Listen to this one.” He began to read. "Geeze. Yesterday I was shooting the Leps, today I'm on a jet headed for Japan. At first I was completely pissed at Tim for sending me to the Monster's of Rock tour. But the more I think about it, the better I feel. Sav was getting entirely too intense for me. He's like a huge 'L' word time bomb waiting to explode and that's exactly what I don't need right now.
"About the only thing I regret is leaving by boys hanging. We didn't even have a good-bye bar crawl. Steve will probably give me hell over that one the next time I see him, but we can definitely make up for it when we all get home next year. I'm looking forward to it all ready.”

Roger woke up to pounding on the door. He grabbed a shirt and walked down the stairs. "Just a bloody minute." He peered through the peep hole. "Sav?" He opened the door.
"Where are they?" Sav sounded frantic.
"I left them talkin' in the livin' room. By now I assume they are in bed though." He followed them all in the living room.
"I'm gonna go look." Sav ran up the stairs and searched the rooms. After a few minutes he ran back down. "Not 'ere!"
"I can't blame him." Roger thought back to the conversation earlier in the night.
"Excuse me?" Sav huffed.
"All of you." Roger pointed to the group. "I thought you told him about this a long time ago."
"We were waiting till he was old enough to understand." Joe jumped to their defense.
"He's torn apart by everythin' he's learned." Roger cornered his daughter. "Damn! It was like talkin' to you twenty years ago."
"Don't say that!" Kenz began to shake. It was happening all over again.

Taylor waited until Jayla was asleep and then resumed reading his Mother’s diary. "Well, Rog and I had our first father/daughter fight today. Wasn't so bad. He doesn't like it when I get up and leave and I don't like him butting into my private life. Simple as that. So, now I check in with him, tell him what he wants to hear, I'm a good little girl... and voila! Happy Daddy!”
"Talked to Nat today. She seems pretty stressed. My boys are wreaking havoc on the entire crew. She says that Steve spends all his time drunk and Phil spends all his energy coverin' for him. To me, that's normal. But for some reason, the rest of the band has a bug up their ass about it.”
"Steve called me today. He sounded so sad and distant. He won't even open up and talk to me, which scares the hell out of me. He wants me to drop everything and come home. Doesn't he know I have a job to finish. And even if I were, I'm not exactly ready to see Sav just yet. “
"I called Phil and as usual, he denied anything was wrong. That boy is so programmed to cover for us that he's even shutting me out. I shall have to remedy it when I get back home. Maybe we just all need a trip. Me and my boys, away from everyone and everything. And plenty of vodka. I'm so sick of sake, I could scream.”
He sat back and rubbed his eyes. He had to take in all of this new information. It was apparent that the three blondes were secretly more than friends. But why? Why would she do that if she was in love with his Dad? Or was she? Exhausted, he turned out the light, wrapped his arms around Jalya, and went quickly to sleep.

Sav hoped that Roger was right. That they headed to LA to check out the house here. They grabbed their bags then haled a cab to the house.
"Deep breaths." Phil placed his hand on Kenz’s shoulder.
"Yeah." She stared out the window.

"Jayla!" Taylor yelled at her from the pool.
"What?" She tipped her sunglasses up.
"C'mon in. The water's great." He smiled. She giggled as she walked over and joined him in the pool.
"I'm glad to see you in a better mood today." She wrapped her arms around him.
"Thank you for stickin' with me." He kissed her.
"Always." She sighed as he moved to kiss her neck.

"Someone's been here." Nat looked around the house.
"Then let's find them." Sav and Joe headed for the back. Phil took the downstairs as Kenz took the upstairs.

"Tay!" Jayla screamed as he pushed inside her.
"Ugh!" He pushed deeper. His hand coming up to cup her breast.
"Oh!" She giggled as he hit a ticklish spot.
"What the bloody hell!" Joe's voice carried over the back yard.

Kenz ran to the balcony to see Phil looking up at her. She immediately ran down and they both headed toward the back.
"Dad!" Jayla reached for her swimsuit.
"Fuck!" Taylor pulled his shorts on and jumped out of the pool.
"He's your son alright!" Joe glared at Sav. The situation was not funny but Sav was having a hard time hiding his smile.
"Aye." He cleared his throat.
"Daddy!" Jayla saw his face.
"You're grounded!" Joe pointed to his daughter. "Till you're forty!"
"Joe!" Nat yelled from the doorway.
“What the…” Kenz looked at Sav. Her eyes widened as he nodded his head.

Taylor walked to his father's side as quickly as possible. Sav had to turn his back to Joe as he tried to regain a serious face.
“You got laid!” Kenz hugged him. “My boy!” She giggled.
"At least you're not as mad as him." Tay looked up at his dad.
"Way to go." He held out his hand. Taylor gave him a high five and smiled.

"'Ere we go! The whole 'No daughter of mine is goin' to be shaggin'…..' speech…" Jayla huffed.
"Young lady!" Joe walked towards her.
"Don't even go there, dad! I know you and mom were both my age when you lost your virginity!"
"Jayla!" Nat gasped.

Taylor noticed that his parents turned his attention back to the situation at hand. He took the opportunity to signal to Jayla to meet in the basement and ran off.
"Bite me, dad!" Jayla ran off through the house. She reached the basement door and locked it behind her.
"TK?" She walked down the stairs.
"Yeah." He smiled up at her.
"You know that they are really gonna be pissed now." She searched for a towel to dry off.
"Fuck them, Jay." His anger returned. They found them before he was ready to see them. Why couldn't they just back off and leave him alone?
"What are we gonna do now?" She sat beside him on the couch.
"I'm not comin' out till I finish readin'." He picked up the diary. Jayla sat quietly as he read.

"At least they can't leave with out us knownin' it." Sav ran a hand through his hair.
"He shagged me littl' girl!" Joe huffed.
"Oh, get over it." Nat giggled. "She's followin' in your footsteps like she does with everything else."
"Oh!" Phil chuckled.
"Piss off!" Joe grumbled.
“It had to happen sometime, Joe.” Kenz patted his should. “At least it’s our son who’s rockin’ her world.”
“Mackenzie!” He covered his ears and walked into the house.
“Good one.” Sav whispered into her ear.

"This can't be happening. Nat called today and told me that Steve died. They're wrong. Maybe he just left on a binge and didn't come back. They're mistaken, I know it. I shouldn't get myself all worked up. I'll get to London, and he and Philly will be waiting to go out and catch a game of pool. I just know it.”
"Phil would have called me if something was wrong. I could have talked Steve out of his depressed mood. I was always good at that. God, I'd even sleep with him again if that would do the trick. That's what I'll do. He was always a sucker for a quickie.”

"Well, everyone's hell bent on taking this seriously. I'm still having a hard time believing that he's really gone. Sav came back with a new girlfriend named Juli. As an extra little stab in the back, he slept with me last night and then told her this morning that he missed her. It's definitely time to move on and forget about Mr. Savage.

"Philly called me yesterday. He's a complete mess. We went to Steve's and gathered all of the things that the group might want. I swear it looks like he just picked up and went on a trip. His boots were lying on the floor, his guitars were set up... like he's going to be home any day. I honestly think it's the hardest thing I've ever done, pretending to be interested in Steve's things. He'd be extremely pissed if he came home and his shit was gone.
"Anyway, we ended up watching old videos and going through a bottle of scotch and we woke up together this morning. I don't even remember getting undressed, but there we were! And he acted so crazy about it this morning. Like he was nervous. He told me not to tell anyone, especially Nat. Well duh! I've never told anyone. Maybe the Rick Savage syndrome is spreading."

"Okay, it's quite apparent that my friends have all lost their fucking minds. All I want to do is sit in my office with a bottle of vodka and be left alone. They, however, want to run me all over God's green Earth. Rick's getting pretty good at developing, though. Phil's snooker game has completely improved. Joe... well, Joe's Joe. And then there's Sav.
"That man is driving me crazy. He's shacking up with his little wife, but he always seems to find time to come over and... well, I'm not sure how to describe it really. Are we fucking? Making love? All I know is that I'm powerless against it. And I think he knows that, damn him! The only way I'll be able to move on with my life is to leave London."

"Well, this is it. The final straw. Knowing the guys, there will be a party tonight for my birthday. That's fine, I can probably handle it. But tomorrow, I'm flying to Vancouver for a while. I just need to be alone. I can no longer stand around and watch Sav with Juli. I love him too much and I'm not going to torture myself any longer.
"That's right, folks! I've finally admitted it. I'm in complete and utter love with Mr. Richard Savage. There. I said it. Too bad that it's completely too late."

"Wow. This has been one hell of a weekend. Plans have definitely changed. I'm now in Dublin with the Leps and Nat. Go figure that one, huh? Rick and I are together and he loves me. Someone pinch me! After all this time, he really loves me.
"I wonder how long it will last, though. I mean, we've completely jumped into this feet first. And now we're living together at Joe's. Just like that. Poof. Kenzie has a boyfriend."

He skipped through a few entries.
"Well, Joe had to open his damn big mouth again. Honestly, I don't know how Nat's put up with him for so damn long. Our little holiday get-together turned out to be a game of truth or dare. And in true Elliott style, he got Phil and Viv to let the rest of the group know that I've slept with them. The nerve of that man! It took a lot of persuesion and a quick shag for Sav not to get pissed over that one. And even then, I'm not sure he's okay with it. I probably wouldn't be if the tide was turned.”
"God, it's only been a few weeks, but I already feel a spree coming on. It's days like these I miss Steve the most. I think Phil's ready to bail on me. I think they all will eventually. They didn't put up with it in Steve, and they won't with me. It's only a matter of time before they see the real me and leave.”

He decided to skip through a few more.
"Phil tried to lecture me when the group went out last night. Telling me that the shit I'm snorting will fry my brain. Like he's one to talk. I remember many a party that old Phil joined me and Steve on."
"Phil came to visit today. Tried to give me a guilt trip over Steve. Telling me that what I was doing was the same thing Steve had done. How would he know? He had a good life. He wasn't stuck with a family that didn't care or a job you hated in a town you hated more."

Taylor found it harder to read as the entries went on. It was almost as though he could feel the pain his mother was feeling at that time.

"I got arrested last night for a DUI and lost my job at Rolling Stone. Phil ratted me out to dad so now he knows. He's taking me in for therapy sessions. What's next? The group abandons me like they did Steve? I'll never let that happen."
"Sav called yelling at me. He was furious. Phil told them about Steve and me. About our trips. All the things he promised to keep secret he told them at a drop of the hat."
"I know I'm going to hell, there's no sense in kidding myself. But I guarantee Steve will be waiting for me with open arms, ready to party like never before."

Taylor dropped the book to the floor. His face was white as a ghost and his body began to shake.
"Tay?" Jayla ran to his side. "Tay?" She shook his arm. He looked over at her as the tears fell down his cheeks. When he still wouldn't speak she picked up the journal and read the last entry on the page.
"Oh, God, Tay." She hugged him. He fell into her arms and cried uncontrollably.

"What the hell could they be doin' down there?" Sav paced.
"If he's shaggin' her again I'm gonna kill him, Sav." Joe ran a hand through his hair.
“Oh, give it a rest, Joe.” Nat huffed.
“They’re 15. With the hormones that run in our families, I’m surprised it didn’t happen before now.” Kenz rationalized.
“Can we change the subject please?” He scowled at her.
“You brought it up.” Sav pointed out.
“Well, I’m dropin’ it!”
"Guys!” Kenz caught Sav’s eyes. “Dad was right. We should have told him a long time ago." She leaned against the counter.
"Yes, you should 'ave." Jayla stood at the top of the stairs. She closed the door to the basement and walked on in the kitchen.
"Jay?" Joe started.
"Not now, dad." She spoke calmly. "There are much more important things that need to be addressed right now." Joe was taken aback by her sudden maturity. Jayla stopped in front of Kenz. "He needs his parents right now."

Sav briefly hugged her and took a deep breath before taking Kenz’s hand and heading down the stairs. They found Taylor on the couch staring at the wall.
"Tay?" She sat down beside him.
"All I wanted was to know about you." He cried.
"I know, son. And I truly am sorry. I thought I'd be saving you the pain we've all been through already if I left the really bad stuff out."
"I had no ideer that I'd learn so much." He looked his father in the eye.
Sav could see the all to familiar distance in those green eyes. "You've always told me that she was this exceptional woman. What I've learned over the last week is that she was terrible depressed." He stood and began pacing. "It took me talkin' to grandpa, Pete, and readin' your own words to figure that out."
"Tay…. Your Mum, she is and was all those things I told you about. They are all the reasons I love her."
"But the words.” He turned to his mother. “You felt so alone! Especially after you lost Steve.” He again turned to his father. “She almost killed herself once before, did you know that?" He cried out in anger. His voice full of pain.
"In New York." Sav dropped his head. His mind flashing with memories of that night. The argument on the phone, her lying on the floor of her apartment with blood running down her face, and then lost in the white sheets of the hospital bed. "Who told you that?"
"I know I'm going to hell, there's no sense in kidding myself. But I guarantee Steve will be waiting for me with open arms, ready to party like never before." He recited his mother's words. "Ring a bell?" He looked into her eyes.
"You found my journal." Kenz’s face froze. She thought back to what the first one contained. They had been unable to find it before and figured that maybe it had been lost.
"She was so damn concerned with what all of you thought of her! The things she wrote." He shook his head wildly. "I just can't!" He ran up the stairs.

He needed time to digest it all. As he passed through the kitchen his eyes connected with Phil's.
"Phil checked her out on Steve's birthday…." Roger's words echoed through his head. Taylor stopped. "Phil and Steve were so gentle yet I could see an animal hunger in Phil's eyes." His mother's words were next.
"Tay?" Phil raised an eyebrow.
"I need to talk to you." He turned to Jayla.
"I hid it well." She smiled. Taylor nodded his head and followed Phil to the back yard.
"I read somethin' rather interestin'." Taylor watched Phil. "I found one of Mum's old diaries. Seems she told it everythin'."
Phil swallowed hard.

"Where did he go?" Sav ran up the stairs.
"Out back with Phil." Nat pointed. Sav walked to the back door and stopped as he heard his son talking.

"The three blondes were pretty close from what I've read."
"Aye. Best of friends we were." Phil tried to play it cool.
"Did you love her?" Taylor spoke bluntly.
"Huh?" Phil was caught off guard. "Of course. She’s me best friend. I still do."
"Let me rephrase. Were you in love with her?"
Phil looked away as he searched for a way to answer that question.
"I know you slept with her. You and Steve. She wrote about your threesomes."
"It's best you keep that information buried." Phil returned his eyes to Taylor. "That is a secret the three of us vowed to take to the grave.
Sav closed his eyes as his body fell against the wall. How could he learn something new about her fourteen years after they’d been married?

"I also know about Steve's birthday and how she got put back on the Narcon."
Taylor couldn't stop. He had to let it out. Phil felt the familiar ache slam through his chest. The one day of his life he’d give anything to repeat.
"Tay…" He could hear the tears in his voice. "Please…."
"What? Don't I 'ave a right to be angry? One act of stupidity and I could have been standin’ ‘ere today with no brothers and no Mum!"
"Taylor." Sav finally stepped out on the deck. The others gathering behind him.
"No! You all talk about how painful it is to talk about her past. Talk about the times that were bad! Well, what do you think I've been goin' through? In one week I've learned more than anythin' you've ever told me!"
"Call the lads. 'Ave them join us 'ere." Joe whispered to Nat.
“But I’m here, Taylor.” Kenz walked up between he and Phil. “And I’m here because of the very same people you’re now striking out against.” She placed her hands on his shoulders. “I’m not proud of the way I used to live. But I can’t change it. All I can do is try to make myself better every day and try my best to make you and your brothers aware of my mistakes so that you don’t make them too.”
“But they…” He watched his mother.
“No one did anything, TK.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “I did it to myself. It was no one’s fault but my own. I’m the addict.”
“You were, but…”
“I still am, and I think you know that. I always will be.”
“I can’t believe that, Mum.” He looked away.
“Okay. But why don’t you go on and take a shower, and go to bed, and let this all sink in a bit, okay? We’ve all at least had a few years to think about it. But promise me something, okay?”
“What?”
“No more vodka.”
“Mum…”
“If not for yourself, then… for me. Please.”

She was begging. Phil realized what she was asking immediately. She needed it out of the house. Away from her. It was the first moment of weakness he had recognized in years. And she brought it up before anyone had the chance to miss it.
“No more.” He sighed and walked into the house.
She turned around to look at Phil. That look. She then saw Sav. The same look. He knew something. Something he was upset about. She felt as if her stomach were turning inside out. It was definitely not the time for a confrontation. It was time for Milanta. Lots of it. She walked past them and headed straight for her suitcase.
“You heard us, didn’t you?” Phil sighed.
“I did.” He was serious.
“Can you please let me talk to her before you say anything?”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Please, Sav. She really is stressed right now and this can only add to it.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “Fine.”

Phil walked into the house and up to her room. He peeked in to see her drinking from a bottle of antacid. “Kenz? You okay love?”
“Huh?” She wiped her mouth off. “Nothing out of the usual.” She lied.
“There’s somethin’ we need to talk about.” He closed the door.
“What does he know?” She stopped him.
“Taylor read your diary. He knows about the threesomes. He confronted me and Sav over heard.”
“Fuck.” She grabbed her stomach and looked out the window. The Milanta wasn’t helping. She could feel the burning pain shoot through her. It began to move up into her chest. “Thanks for tellin’ me, Phil. Now can you give me a few minutes alone?”
“Call me if you wanna talk.” He walked out and closed the door behind him.
She immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up. She closed her eyes as she heaved and then sat back. God, she never wanted a drink more in her life than she did at that moment. It would at least numb her stomach for a while. She flushed the toilet and then rinsed her mouth out. That’s when she noticed the blood in the sink.
After cleaning herself and the bathroom up, she walked out to the balcony to see Sav and Joe in the hot tub, talking. She walked to her bag and searched for the bottle. The one that the doctor gave her for emergencies. The painkiller.
“I’m much stronger than I used to be.” She spoke to herself. “I can take one. Moderation is the key. Once my stomach settles down, I’ll stop. Once my stomach settles down, I’ll stop. Once my stomach settles down, I’ll stop.” She opened the bottle and popped one pill into her mouth. “Moderation is the key.”

Sav walked up an hour later to see her asleep, across the bed, with her clothes on.
“Kenzie.” He shook her. “Baby, wake up.”
She mumbled something, but didn’t open her eyes.
He took her shoes off and put her to bed before undressing himself. It was early, but they were all jetlagged. He watched her sleep for the longest time until he heard Taylor’s voice.
“No Mum, no!”
He shot up and walked down the hall to his room. He wasn’t there.
“Ow! TK, wake up!” He heard Jayla’s voice.
“Kids.” He mumbled as he walked to Jay’s room.
“Taylor.” He walked in and shook him. “Wake up.”
“Huh?” He sat up.
“It was that nightmare again.” Jayla moved a strand of hair from his forehead.
“I guess it was.” He looked up at his father.
“And you’d better get your arse back to your room before Joe walks in an’ sees ya.” Sav threw his boxer shorts at him.
He walked down the hall while pulling his T-shirt over his head only to run into a brick wall. He swallowed hard and looked up only to be met by Joe’s eyes.
“Whatcha doin’?” He crossed his arms.
“Usin’ the loo.” He lied.
“I me daughter’s room? I think not!” He turned him around and pushed him down the hall.
“She’s decent.” Sav smiled as he stepped out of her room.
“Piss off.” He huffed as he walked in and flicked on the light.
“You’re fifteen years old, and you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do. But I am not ready to be a grandfather yet, you hear? So… ‘ere.” He huffed as he threw a box of condoms at Taylor. “Use ‘em!” He turned and walked out of the room, only to be met by the smiles of Sav and Nat.
“You okay?” She giggled.
“I will be.” He grabbed the belt of her robe and pulled her to their room.
Sav turned to his son, who was standing at the door.
“Looks like I’m stayin’ here t’night.” He closed the door.
He stood for a moment, shook his head, and walked back to his bedroom.

The next morning, Sav woke up to an empty bed. He took a deep breath and walked downstairs to see that Nat, Kenz and Jayla had just returned from a morning run. Taylor walked up beside him and smiled. Both of them turned and looked over their women in their tight, little running shorts and sports bras.
Joe walked in and noticed that they had the same smirks on their faces. “God, he’s like your clone.” He huffed as he sat at the table.
“Anyone up for pancakes?” Nat fired up the griddle.
“I’ll pass.” Kenz sat down with a slice of plain, dry toast and nibbled while reading the paper.
“Juice?” Sav offered her.
“Just water.” She smiled to hide the pain.
“Stomach?” He became concerned.
“Just a little flair up. It’ll pass.” She kissed his cheek. “Kinda hard to stick to my diet with all of the traveling we’ve done lately.”
“True.” Nat answered.

After breakfast, Rick and Vivian showed up.
“Hi.” Kenz took turns hugging them.
“What’s all this about?” Rick pulled her aside.
“We need to tell him everything.” She looked at him.
“Everything? Wow.”
“It’s time.” Sav watched his wife. She had become entirely too quiet the last few days. Something was wrong.
“I agree.” Vivian patted his shoulders.
“Why don’t you lads unpack and we’ll be down in a bit.” Sav took Kenz’s hand and led her to their room.
She took a deep breath and waited for the worst.
“Spill it.” He sat on the bed and watched her.
“Huh?” He completely caught her off guard.
“You’re hiding. Laughing entirely too much in a situation like this, and you’re not telling me how you feel.”
She thought of what to say. What did he want to hear? “I know you know about me and the twins.”
“Phil told me he would tell you.”
“What do you think?”
“Why does that matter?”
“Because it does.”
“Well… at first I was shocked, then hurt, then pissed.”
She looked away, but he forced her to look at him. “Then I thought about it. We’ve been together for the most part of 22 years. And knowing you, I could potentially learn something every day that I’d be unhappy about.”
“Probably.” She raised her eyebrows.
“But Kenzie… that’s all in the past. We both did some pretty stupid things in the 80’s. And we’ve been through a lot worse shit than who you did what with 20 years ago. I still love you and nothin’s gonna change that, got it?”
“Got it.” She smiled at him.
“Now what else is there?”
“Nothing and everything.” She sighed. “I don’t think we’re getting through to Taylor.”
“I think we’re makin’ a lit’l progress. It won’t happen over night, love.”
“I know.”
“What about the stomach?”
“Just the usual problems, really.” She looked away.
“Kenz.” He again made her look at him.
“It’s better today than it was yesterday.” She danced around the question.
“Now see? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“I guess not.” She sighed in relief. The interrogation was over. “And I love you too.” She kissed him.

“Wow.” The doctor looked at the results of Kenz’s upper GI scan. “No wonder you went through the Darvon.”
“What is it?”
“It’s bleeding again.”
“Surely we won’t need surgery this time, will we?” She pleaded.
“No. That’ll be my last resort. I’m changing your prescriptions and let’s go with clear liquids for a week or two.”
Clear liquids. How the hell can she hide that from Sav?
“And here… is a little stronger pain med. Be sure to only take it when you know you’re in for the night or right before you go to bed.”
“Thank you.” She sighed.

Sav walked in from Joe’s that night to see the boys waiting at the dinner table for him. “Sorry I’m late.” He walked into the kitchen to see Kenz finishing up.
“You’re not. They’re just hungry boys.” She smiled.
She placed the food on the table and then made a plate for herself. “I’m goin’ up to work on a project. Need anything?”
“Nope!” Taylor smiled at her.
Cameron had his mouth full and Brady dug into the peas with his hands.
“Have fun.” Sav winked.
She closed the door to her study and pulled out the broth she had placed up there earlier. She quickly ate her “liquids” and then threw the food into the trash.
“Hey Dad?” Taylor looked across the table at his father.
“Yeah?”
“Have you noticed the dark circles under Mum’s eyes lately?”
“I have, yeah.” He thought a moment. “She’s been sleepin’ like a bloody brick at night, though. Once she’s out, nothin’ wakes her up.”
“Oh.” He shrugged it off. “What about how skinny she’s gotten?”
“I have noticed that. What do you think it is?”
“She’s been real secretive. Whisperin’ on the phone, takin’ naps durin’ the day.”
“How do you know if you’re in school?”
He pointed over to Cameron. He spoke with his mouth full of food.
“Swallow, please.” Sav huffed.
He took a drink of milk and then looked at his father. “She doesn’t like to play soccer when I get home from school anymore ‘cause she’s sleepy.”
“Hmm.” He stared at his plate. “I don’t know, boys. I guess we’ll ‘ave to ask her.”

“Nothin’s wrong.” She got ready for bed that night.
“Then what’s with the secrecy about everything. Cameron and Taylor are both concerned about how you’re doin’ right now.”
“Cammy is?” She raised her eyebrows. “About what?”
“You’ve lost so much weight, Kenz. I can see your ribs through your skin. And the dark circles under your eyes, even though you get an ungodly amount of sleep during the day.”
“Sav, I don’t want to talk about this, okay. I’ve got it under control, okay? Just trust me.”
“Not until you tell me what’s goin’ on.” He placed his hands on her shoulders.
She took a deep breath and prepared to give the speech she had been working on for the last two weeks. “I think I’m going through… the change.”
“The change?” His eyes widened. “A bit young for that, aren’t ya?”
“I’m 45, Sav.” She pouted.
“Not until Saturday.” He smiled.
“Yeah, well… I’ve been seeing a physician to work on hormone replacement.” Damn, she was good. All that research definitely paid off. She sounded like she really knew what she was talking about.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He wrapped his arms around her.
“I’m not ready to talk about it yet, okay?”
“Okay. Fine.” He kissed her. “I’m here when you are ready, got it?”
“Got it.”

They all sat at Kehoes on Saturday and talked. Phil pulled Kenz aside.
“Tay seems to be comin’ around.” He smiled.
“It was too easy.” She sighed. And that was the main reason she was fighting her damn body at the moment. “He’s pretending to be fine, but I know that game better than he can possibly imagine.”
“So what are you gonna do?”
“I have a few ideas, but I’m waiting for him to screw up.”
“Care to let me in on one?”
“Nope.” She smiled at him. “But you’ll be the first to know when it’s time to act, because I’ll need your help.” She sipped on her tea.
“You got it.”
“What’s up?” Jayla spoke to Taylor.
“Nothin’, why?”
“You’re either thinkin’ real hard about somethin’, or you’re schemin’. Fess up.”
He rolled his eyes and smiled at her. “I just have this… urge to get outta ‘ere. I can’t explain it.”
“What, like those binges your Mum used to take?”
“I guess.”
“Where would you go? They’ve already proven that they’re pretty good at huntin’ us down.”
“I don’t know. Where’d ya like to go?” He held her hand under the table.

“Kenz.” Nat elbowed her and pointed to the kids.
“This might be a little more serious than we thought.” She smiled.
“Mummy, can I go sit with Jay?” Jasmine pulled on her arm.
“Jay’s busy, Jas. What’s wrong with Cammy and Brady?”
“They’re little boys.” She frowned.
“Jordyn’s over there all by herself.” Kenz pointed. “I’m sure she’d appreciate the company.”
“Fine.” She rolled her eyes and walked toward Phil and Anita’s daughter.
“It’s so tough being a child!” Nat threw her arm across her forehead.
Kenz laughed as a beer was placed in front of her. “What’s this?”
“Your yearly Birthday beer, love.” Phil raised his own. “To the Birthday girl!”
“To Kenzie!” Everyone yelled.
“Thanks.” She kissed his cheek and took enough of a sip to appease him.
“So what’s this project Sav tells me you’re workin’ on?” Nat finished her own beer.
“A rough spread of a book commemorating their upcoming induction into the Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame.” She smiled proudly.
“Can I see it?”
“Sure. C’mon over sometime and I’ll show you.” She grinned.

That night, after the kids were in bed, Sav and Kenz sat in the den and talked.
“Did ya ‘ave a nice birthday?” He kissed her cheek.
“It’s always nice to spend time with my friends.” She smiled at him.
“I still have to give you your gift.” He ran his nose down her neck and kissed her shoulder.
“Mmm.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “You mean this isn’t it?”
“Nope.” He reached up her shirt.
“Why don’t we go upstairs?”
“Too far.”
“I caught Brady climbing out of his bed again last night.” She smiled.
“Oh. Upstairs it is, then.” He laughed as he helped her up.
“I’ll check on the boys and be there in a bit.”
“Hurry.” He slapped her ass and ran up the stairs.

She walked past Cam’s room and peeked in. He was sideways in his bed with the covers thrown off, so she moved him around and tucked him in. She then kissed his forehead and walked across the hall to Brady’s room. He had gone to sleep with his favorite stuffed rabbit over his face. She tucked it under his arm and tucked him in as well. She then kissed his forehead and walked down to Taylor’s room. She didn’t see his light on, but she heard his voice.
She stopped and listened.
“I know, Jay. I don’t care. Surely we can find someone to buy it for us.” She frowned as she tried to figure what he was talking about. “Okay, you find us a hotel and I’ll work on the liquor. I’ll leave a note for Mum this time. I’m sure she’ll understand.”
She closed her eyes as she caught her balance. Her stomach had actually begun to feel better the last few days, but now the pain was back with a vengeance. Her son was planning a trip. Looks like Phil will get his wish sooner than she thought.
Sav was waiting for her when she slowly walked in. He noticed the look on her face. “What is it?”
“We did it your way and it didn’t work.” She fought back the urge to run to the bathroom and lose her dinner. “I need your promise that you won’t interfere.”
“What’s your plan?”
“Promise.”
“I can’t make that promise if you won’t tell me…”
“No one can know, Sav. That’s the way it works. That’s the whole point.”
“You’re not makin’ sense.” He sat up.
“I need to call Phil.” She walked down to her office. She sat and thought for a moment. He’s going to freak. What if he tells? But this is Phil. He never tells. She picked up the phone and dialed.
“’Ello?” He huffed.
“Hey.”
“Kenz? What is it?”
“I need a favor, Philly.” Her hands began to shake.
“Name it.”
“I need a trip.”
“What?” He choked on his own words. “What the hell are you talkin’ about?”
“I need to use your apartment in Paris and it needs to be set up exactly how it was for me and Steve. Except the coke. I don’t want him near that shit.”
“Him? Taylor?”
“He’s gonna do it whether I’m there or not. Just… please trust me. I think this will work if you just… do it this one more time. One more time is all I’m askin’.”
“I can’t, Kenz.”
“I need you, Phil.” She began to cry. “I need to make him see that it never helps.”
He thought about it for a moment. “Okay.” He closed his eyes as a tiny tear fell down his cheek.

An hour later, she slipped into bed.
“You talk to Phil?”
“Yeah.” She sighed.
“Did he understand a damn thing you were sayin’?”
“Perfectly.” She sighed. “Please trust me on this one, Rick. You told me a long time ago that you’d never doubt me.”
He rubbed his face and took a deep breath. She was definitely the one with the most experience with it comes to handling this. “I’ll wait it out.”
“Thank you.” She kissed him.

Nancy walked in the next morning as usual. “Nan.” Kenz ran down the stairs to greet her. “I’ve been called away on business, so I was wonderin’ of you could get dinner for Rick and the boys tonight and the next couple.”
“Sure.”
“Thanks you so much.” She looked up as Taylor walked down with his school bag over his shoulder. “Tay. C’mere.” She walked up to her office.
“I’m gonna be late for school, Mum.”
“No you’re not. You’re not goin’.”
“Why not?” He frowned.
“You and I… need a trip.”
His eyes widened as he realized what his mother was saying.
“Phil made the arrangements as usual and our plane leaves in a few hours.”
“Are you serious?”
She waited as she looked into his eyes.
“I’ll get my stuff.” He turned and ran to his room.

Sav walked into the house to see Nancy and his two youngest sons. “Where’s Kenz?”
“She was called away on business.” She looked confused. “She didn’t tell you?”
“Business? What business?” He scanned the room. “And Taylor?”
“She took him to school this morning and I haven’t seen him since.”
“Huh.” He frowned as he grabbed the phone and walked into the den.
“Yo!”
“Joe, Jay there?”
“Yup.” He huffed. “Tay’s not, though.”
“Can you put her on for a bit?”
“Sure.”
“’Ello?”
“Jayla love, you seen Tay?”
She was silent. “No.”
“Do you know where he is?”
“He didn’t show up for school today, so I have no clue.”
He could feel the heat begin to flood his face. “Thanks, darlin’.” He hung up and grabbed his keys. “Nan, I should be back shortly.” He stormed out of the house.

“Wow.” Taylor walked into the apartment and looked around. “This is nice.”
“Wanna see somethin’ even nicer?” She smiled as she opened the freezer. There were five bottles of vodka waiting. “Good old Philly!” She giggled as she took a bottle out. She then grabbed two shot glasses and walked to the kitchen table.
“Sure you wanna do this?” She straddled the chair and sat the glasses in the middle of the table.
“Yes.” He sat at the opposite chair.
She nodded her head and poured two glasses. She then held her glass up. “To our first binge.”
“Our first binge.” He smiled as Kenz quickly tipped her head back. She closed her eyes as the liquid burned down the back of her throat. Tears filled her eyes as it hit her stomach.
“You okay Mum?”
“Mmm.” She shook off the pain. “It’s been a long time.” She slammed her glass down and poured another. “Give me your glass. You need to keep up.” She smiled.

Phil sat on the front steps of his house and waited. He watched as Sav’s car sped up the drive and through the gates. “’Ere we go.” He looked at the sky.
“Where the hell are my wife and son?” Sav slammed the car door and walked to him.
“Kenz is on a business trip.” He stared out into the yard.
“Bull shit!” He pulled him to his feet by the collar of his shirt. “Tell me now, or so help me God I’ll kill you!”
“Kenz is on a business trip.” He repeated. “Kill me if you want. My story won’t change.”
“God damn it, Phil!” He was desperate. “She can’t do this anymore! Her body can’t handle it!”
He closed his eyes. “She’ll explain everything when she gets back from her business trip.”
“Do you realize she’s been goin’ through three bottles a day of that antacid shit? Do you know what just a few drinks of vodka is gonna do to her?”
“It’s not gonna work.” He looked him in the eye.

Kenz was impressed. They had started their second bottle and he was just beginning to sway in his seat.
“I’m hungry. Ready to go eat?” She fought off the urge to throw up. That would ruin everything.
“Food?”
“Sure! There’s a little café a few blocks from here that Steve used to love. Let’s go!” She stood and grabbed her purse.
“Mum!” He staggered a few steps. “I…can’t.”
“Fine. You lie here and I’ll bring it back.” She smiled as she walked out the door.

“Just tell me where she is, Phil. Please.”
“I told you…”
“Business, yeah. Right.” He paced. “So what happens if her ulcer burns a hold through her bleedin’ stomach?”
“Kenz knows what she’s doin’, right?”
“And what happens if they drink too much? You ever heard of alcohol poisoning? I’m sure vodka won’t exactly mix well with the meds she’s currently takin’.”
“Stop it! I’m not gonna tell you a damn thing!” He pushed him off the porch. “If I had even the slightest notion that she’s relapse from this or was doin’ somethin’ wrong, I’d tell you in a instant. But I really think this is the only way to help Taylor. And she does too, or she wouldn’t be doin’ it.”

“Tay?” Kenz walked in to see him passed out on the sofa. The first thing she checked was to make sure he was breathing. God, is this what Phil went through every time he showed up? No. It was probably worse. She took the opportunity to eat a slice of bread and down some antacid before lying down herself for a nap.
When she woke up, Taylor was watching the television. “Ready for round two?” She walked to the kitchen.
“More?” He rubbed his head. “I think I’m still drunk from round one.”
“That’s the point.”

Sav laid in bed that night and stared at the ceiling. There was no way in hell he was going to sleep until he knew that Kenz and Taylor were okay. What the hell was she thinking? And what exactly were they doing? Kenz knew that she couldn’t drink anymore. She was going to end up in the hospital all over again.
“Fuck!” He covered his face.

Tears filled her eyes as she continued to fight the urge. She finally couldn’t fight any longer and ran to the back bathroom.
“God.” She cried as the pain ripped through her body. When the spasm’s subsided, she rinsed the blood from her mouth and cleaned up. She fell onto the bed and tried to catch her breath. “Please let this work.” She whispered.

Taylor woke up to the ringing phone the next morning. “Who know’s were ‘ere?” He shot up.
“Phil.” Kenz answered the phone.
“How’s it goin’?”
“It’s just what we needed, thanks.” She smiled at Taylor.
“I get it.” He sighed. “Your husband nearly beat the piss out of me last night.”
“I’m sorry.” She whispered.
“Just… make this work. Please.”
“I will.” She hung up. “Thirsty?” She walked in with a fresh bottle.
“More?”
“We are on a binge, aren’t we?” She plopped next to him.
“I just never realized… you were bad, huh Mum?”
“Nah!” She waved off his comment. “Now when I did the coke, and the heroine, and the vodka… that was bad. But that was only once.” She tipped her head back with the bottle.
“Really?” His eyes widened. “Why would you do that?”
“Why are you sittin’ here right now?”
“I just needed… I’m so confused right now.”
“Well vodka’s the perfect antidote for that!” She held the bottle up. “Clear and pure. It’s like… understanding in a bottle, ya know?”
“Yeah.” He smiled.

That night, she listened as Taylor heaved most of the night. It took everything she had not to run in and comfort him. But this was a binge. You don’t get help when you’re on your own. If he was old enough to drink, he was old enough to face the music.
She began coughing as her chest burned. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and noticed the smudge of blood. She stood to walk to the bathroom and was overcome by a dizzy spell. She caught her balance and shook it off and she made it just in time to heave.

She woke up the next morning on the floor of the bathroom. It had been a very long time since that had happened. She took a shower and walked into the guest room to see Taylor sleeping with a pillow over his head.
“Morning!” She put on her happy face.
“Ugh.” He grumbled.
“C’mon, we still have a bottle left!” She sat beside him.
“Mum… I’m so sick.” He held his head.
“Feel like hell, do ya?” She ran her fingers through his hair.
“I thought I was gonna die last night. The room was spinnin’ and wouldn’t stop.” He looked up at her. “You don’t looks so well.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re so pale.” He touched her hand. “And your skin’s ice cold.”
“I told you, I’m fine.” She clenched her jaw as another pain claimed her. “So you survived your first binge. Did it work?”
“Huh?”
“You feel better tight? All your problems solved?”
“Um… yeah.” He looked away.
“No confusion. Everything’s clear. Just the way I like it.” She watched him carefully.
“Actually? No.” He sighed. “I still ‘ave all these thoughts runnin’ through me head. My poundin’ head.” He rubbed his face.
“And on top of that now, we have to face your father, Jayla, Joe, Nat and probably the rest of the group when we get home to explain where we were.” She held her chest as she coughed. “Plus, you’ll probably be hung for the next day or two.”
“I guess it caused more problems.” He sighed as he looked at her, knowingly. “And that’s why you did it.”
“That’s why I did it.” She coughed again. “Your father could preach to ya until he was blue in the face, but you’ll never know until you go through it. Binging never helps, Taylor. There are no magic answers to life. But we have a wonderful family of friends who are always willing to talk us through any problems we have. And that a true blessing.” She tried to catch her breath as she coughed again.
“Mum?” His eyes widened as he saw blood in her hand. “Jesus, Mum!” He ran to the bathroom and grabbed a towel.
“Thanks.” She closed her eyes as the coughing subsided.
“We need to get you home.”
“Only when you’re ready.” She cleared her throat. “God, I can’t believe how old I’m getting’!” She tried to lighten the mood.
“You’ve been ‘avin’ problems for a while, haven’t ya?” He handed her a glass of water.
“Since you ran off to London.” She admitted. “I’ve been seein’ a doctor in hopes of avoiding another surgery, but I doubt that’ll happen now.”
“And now… I’m sure the vodka… it’s all my fault.” Tears filled his eyes.
“You didn’t force me to do this.” She took his hand. “I did it. And I’ll take responsibility for it. I’ll be fine once we get home, okay?”
“Then let’s go.” Even though his head was pounding, he pushed himself to pack everything up.

Sav sat next to Joe as Jasmine played soccer with Cameron and Brady.
“Brady’s a wild man!” Joe laughed.
“Get ‘em, son!” He looked across the field to see a cab driving toward his house.
“I’ll watch the boys.” Joe spoke as he took off.
“I’ll get the bags, Mum.” Taylor spoke.
“Thanks, TK.” She spoke weakly as she walked into the house. With each step, she felt herself grow weaker and dizzier. God, she was so cold. And her legs, they were numb. Her bed looked so comfortable, sleep sounded so pleasant…

Sav walked into the house to see Taylor sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands and tears in his eyes.
“Tay?” He watched him. “Where is she?”
“Upstairs.” He cried.
Without another word he ran, taking the steps two at a time until he reached their room. “Kenzie?” He didn’t see her. “Kenz?” He rounded the bed to see her feet on the floor. “Kenzie!” He found her unconscious. “Baby, wake up!” He touched her only to find her skin cold and clammy.
“Rick.” She mumbled. “It worked.”
“At what expense?” He slid his arms under her and carried her down the stairs. “Tay! Let’s go!”

She opened her eyes to hear whispering and mumbling from behind the curtain. She had an IV in each arm, one attached to a bag of blood. There was a tray next to the bed that contained… broth and Jell-O. Her throat was sore and dry, and her stomach was sore, but not nearly what it was. She reached for a glass water ands lowly took a drink. Ahh. No tossing it right back up. She must have had surgery.
“I’m not through discussin’ this!” She heard Sav’s voice.
“Well I am!” Taylor shot back.
“Tay?” She forced her voice.
“Mum!” He quickly threw the curtain back and hugged her. “How ya feelin’?”
“Much better.” She smiled as she held his hand. “How are you?”
He gave her a smile and looked into her eyes. “I’m good.”
“That’s fabulous.” She looked at her husband, who was standing at the end of the bed with his arms crossed. “Can you give us a minute or two?”
“Sure.” He kissed her cheek and then looked up at his father. “Don’t upset her.”
“Go.” He huffed before turning back to her.
“I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“I am so… fuckin’ angry with you right now!” He spat. “How could you do this?”
“I did what I had to do. I’m not gonna apologize for it.”
“You are so stubborn, you know it?”
“But you love me.” Her eyes sparkled, even though she was still very pale and had dark, dark circles under her eyes.
“Aye, I think I’m glutton for punishment though.” He tried not to smile at her. “So what happened?”
“That’s between me and Tay.” She took his hand as he sat beside her. “But he now realizes that vodka doesn’t give you any answers or magically make things all better. It only makes things worse.”
“And?”
“We’ll just have to wait and see.” She sighed as she looked at the tubes attached to her arms.
“After two pints of blood, emergency surgery, and IV fluids for two days, they’ve decided that you’ll be fit enough to go home tomorrow.”
“I’ve been here two days?” Her eyes widened. “What about my boys?”
“I’m punishin’ Phil by makin’ him watch them.”
“Don’t be too hard on him. He had orders.”
“I know.” He sighed. “Promise me that you won’t go this far with the other two.”
“Nah, they’re more like you. I don’t think we’ll have a problem. Especially with Brady, little flirt.” She smiled.
“Yeah, well…” He sighed. “I love you Kenzie. And even though I’m pissed at what you’ve done to yourself, I’m also proud of you.”
“Really?”
“You’ve proven to our son that he’s loved and cared for and that you’d do anything for him. I think maybe if that was done for you then it would have saved you early on.”
“I can’t believe how much I’ve changed, Rick.” Her eyes began to water. “I was just going through the motions. It didn’t mean anything. 20 years ago I couldn’t function without it, and yet… now it means nothing.”
“You’ll never believe how happy I am to hear that.” He leaned over to kiss her.
“I think I can.” She smiled.

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