The Bachelors

The Bachelors

2

 

Amy walked into her loft apartment and dropped her bags. It felt great to be home at last. It had been way too long.

She walked over to the bed and threw her black leather bag onto it. She couldn’t help it, but every time she saw the bag she thought of him these days. She sighed as she wondered what he was doing… where he was.

She decided to make the reacquainting of herself to her abode a priority. She stared at the pile of mail on the table and wished them away as she scanned the room. The wildly flashing light of the answering machine caught her attention and that’s when she realized; she hadn’t checked her messages in nearly a month… maybe longer.

She grabbed a pad and pen and prepared to listen as she pressed the button and waited. “Moshi Moshi…” she sighed as she pressed the button to forward. “Mom,” she rolled her eyes. “Mom,” she forwarded through another. “Mom,” she again pressed the button.

“Oi, Amy…” her eyes widened as she heard his voice. “Missed you again. Just thought I’d see ‘ow you were. Um… try to call if you get a chance to check your messages. I… I’ll try your cell phone lat’er,” there was a pause. “Bye.”

“Bye, Phil,” she sighed as she looked up at the clock. “After a bath.”

 

 

Sav peeked in before quietly slipping into his house. All was quiet, which meant that the boys were out. He took the prime opportunity to sneak up to his study and was almost in the door when he heard…

“Oh!”

He looked up to see Bethany whip around the corner, back to her room, with nothing on but a towel around her wet body.

“Uh…” he smiled as he licked his lips. “Bethany?” he called out.

She emerged with her robe on, her damp brown locks framing her crimson face. “I am… so sorry, Rick.”

Don’t be, he thought to himself. “I didn’t realize…”

“The boys are at their playgroup and I didn’t think you’d be home…”

“Don’t apologize. You live ‘ere too. Maybe I should’ve made more noise comin’ in,” he nodded as his eyes crawled down to the sweet cleavage peeking out from the white terrycloth of her robe.

She smiled as he stared at her body. “Um, I need… to get ready.”

“Huh?” he quickly looked up at her face.

“To pick up the lads.”

“Uh… yeah,” he stuttered. “Why don’t I go with you and we can stop for supper?”

“Good idea,” she nodded before returning to her room and closing the door behind her.

He grinned as he looked into his music room. It was so much fun teasing her, and she really was a good sport about it. Every time.

The Bachelors

3

 

“Yeah, I know,” Phil grinned from ear to ear as he crossed his arms and stared out of Joe’s huge picture window. “Really? That’s great. Huh? Too cool!” he laughed.

Joe stopped in the doorway and watched, an evil smirk forming on his face.

“I think that’s possible. I’d really like to see you.”

“Hi, Amy,” Joe’s voice echoed through the room.

Phil’s head whipped up as Joe began laughing hysterically.

“Looks like I need to go,” he rolled his eyes.

“Hold on,” Joe reached for the phone.

“Yeah,” Phil pushed him back.

“C’mon, I wanna talk to ‘er,” he giggled as they two of them began a slapping fight.

“Okay. I will,” Phil slapped Joe in the gut, causing him to double over with laughter. “You too. Bye.”

“Why didn’t you let me…”

“Because you’re a wanker!” he pushed him over.

Malvin walked to the doorway. “Are we quite finished?”

“Yes!” Phil laughed as Joe rolled on the floor in laughter.

“Bit difficult to call into a phone conference when the guitarist is chattin’ up a lass,” he mumbled as he walked off.

“Let’s go,” Phil helped Joe off before following him.

 

 

Telephone conferences had to be the most painful part of their job. After an hour had passed, Malvin sat up in his seat and looked around the table.

Vivian was staring at the calluses on his fingers as Phil and Rick engrossed themselves in a game of tic-tac-toe. Joe was staring at the ceiling while crossing and uncrossing his eyes and Sav had just jolted himself awake after a head bob. He sighed as he shook his head.

“One last order of business,” Cliff called out. “Is Joe still available?”

Everyone looked up as Joe hesitated. “Available for what?”

“We have an idea for a huge publicity blitz that we’d like to pass by you,” Peter answered.

“What does it ‘ave to do with me marital status?” he raised his eyebrows as Sav sat up in his seat and looked at Malvin.

“Well…” Peter began.

“You’ve heard of ‘The Bachelor’ right?” Gayle asked.

“Oh, God,” Sav covered his mouth with his hand as Vivian began to laugh.

“No fuckin’ way,” Joe growled.

“Just think about it, okay? We’ll email the information later,” Cliff chuckled.

“God,” he rolled his eyes as he collapsed back into his seat.

“Anything else we need to cover?” Peter asked.

“Yeah,” Sav looked at Phil. “You’ve only shagged ‘er once, what the ‘ell is up?”

The room erupted in shouting as Malvin rolled his eyes and ended the call.

The Bachelors

4

 

Sav peeked around the corner and squinted into the room as Phil walked up on him.

“See anythin’?” he whispered.

“No, you?”

“Move back,” he nodded before taking a look.

“I’m going to close the bloody door!” Joe grunted as he looked up from his computer.

“What does it say?”

He sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “It’s to raise money for charity and gain publicity. There will be a choice of 10 ladies that will be chosen by you lads. Everyone makes wagers from the start who I will pick. We all go on a cruise for a week and every day I kick off one or two birds. The last one standin’ gets a date with Moi!”

Sav looked at Phil for a moment. “And the down side of this is?”

“There will be a choice of 10 ladies that will be chosen by you lads,” he repeated as he laughed.

“I think it would be great fun,” Phil smiled.

 

Amy finished repacking her bags and was just about to walk out the door when the telephone rang.

“No,” she whined. “No, no, no.”

The answering machine picked up, “Am, it’s Nate. We’ve had another date pop up. I think you’ll like it…”

“Damn it, Nathan,” she sighed as she answered the phone. “I told you…”

“It’s a private cruise ship gig. Caribbean. One week.”

She rolled her eyes as she thought it over. “When?”

“They’ve requested a strict set list, so rehearsals will begin in three days. We leave in two weeks.”

“Set list?”

“Soft rock tunes. Possibly numbers that can accompany a vocalist or two.”

“Cruise ship karaoke? That’s what I’ve been reduced to?”

“The client specifically stated that they wanted the best,” he waited.

She looked down at her bags and frowned. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

 

 

“Ello?”

“Hi, Phil,” Amy bit her lip.

“You on your way?” he smiled.

“Not… exactly.”

His shoulders dropped as he sighed and closed his eyes. “Oh.”

“I’m so sorry. I’ve had a gig come up that was too good to resist. Where will you be in about… three weeks?”

“I’m not sure. We’ve got a publicity thing comin’ up.”

“Oh,” she closed her eyes and rested her head against the huge picture window of her apartment. “I’m sorry. I really want to see you.”

“I know. But hey, if it’s meant to be it’ll ‘appen, right?”

“Right.”

 

 

“Hi, Rick,” Bethany looked up from placing food in front of Austin and Tommy.

“Mmm,” he smiled. “Whipped potatoes.”

“I can plate you up before I head out…”

“Out?” he stopped.

“My date. I told you about it a week ago.”

“Oh,” he looked away. “Right.”

“Is that all right?”

“Uh… sure. You’re a grown woman, you should go out more than you do.”

She watched him for a moment. “I shouldn’t be too late.”

“I’ll get the boys to bed, don’t worry. Just ‘ave fun, right?” he walked to the stovetop and reached for a plate.

“Right,” she nodded before kissing each of the boys and heading for her room.

The Bachelors

5

 

 

Phil looked over the petite blonde sitting before him before making notes on his clipboard. Cute, blonde, Flat-chested…

“So, what types of music do you like?”

“Oh, mainly Rock and Pop,” she giggled.

“Name a few artists for me, please.”

“Oh… Whitney Houston, N’Sync, Mariah Carey…”

He nodded while writing. Young. “Do you like the classic oldies?”

She stared at him for a moment. “You mean like… Styx and Journey?”

Very young, he added.

 

 

“So…” Vivian read over his ‘Interview Sheet.’ “Why type of things do you like to do?”

“What do you mean?” she asked defensively.

“For fun?”

“You’re a pervert!” she jumped up and stormed out of the room.

He looked around the room, wondering what the hell had just happened. “Next!”

 

 

“Oh yeah, I to’ally agree,” Sav nodded. “Duran Duran was and is HIGHLY underrated.”

“Well, I think they should just get back together with Nile Rogers, and the Taylors and put out a reunion album,” the brunette nodded.

“Annette, I’m gonna pass you on to the next round,” he grinned as he held his hand out to her.

“Thank you!” she laughed as she shook it.

 

 

“So, Fallon. Why should I pick you?” Rick asked.

“Because I love Joe,” she pleaded with him. “I’ve been in love with him for years. I’d lick the snow off his boots if he’d let me.”

There was dead silence in the room as he stared at her. Finally, he spoke. “Thanks, we’ll let you know.”

 

 

“So?” Joe looked up as everyone met up at his house.

“I need a drink!” Vivian whined.

“That bad?”

“Don’t ask!” Rick’s eyes widened. “I seriously think Mal’s sending the psychos to me!”

Phil laughed as he patted his shoulder. “And the teenagers to me.”

“I ‘ad a pretty good lot t’day,” Sav shrugged his shoulders.

“And what ‘bout you?” he looked at Vivian.

He sighed before answering. “Got slapped three times.” The house erupted in laughter as his face reddened. “I didn’t do anythin’! I swear!”

The Bachelors

6

 

After four days of interviews, the groups had a list of 50 ladies. It was now time for round two.

Two long tables were lined up with the four plus Malvin seated comfortably. One by one, each lady was asked to come in…

“Ello, Annette,” Sav winked at her as she smiled brightly.

The other four looked down at him and shook their heads.

“So,” Malvin cleared his throat. “Tell us a lit’le about yourself.”

“Well,” she began. “I’m currently running my own website. It contains thousands of lyrics to songs from the 70s, 80s and 90s and I add to it nearly every day. I also do consulting work for an internet web company, so they have basically given me my domain in repayment.”

“So you don’t make any money off of it?” Phil questioned.

“No,” she smiled.

“And what else do you do?” Rick asked.

“I’m a waitress at a local restaurant in Fort Worth.”

“Really?” Vivian grinned. “Where?”

“Hooters,” she answered proudly.

 

 

 

“What is your favorite pastime, Geri?” Vivian asked.

The others began to snigger.

She smiled before answering. “I ride motorcycles.”

“Really?” Sav raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, yeah,” she nodded. “I love the feeling of having a machine like that between my legs.”

Phil choked on his water as Rick spat his through his nose.

 

 

The room was quiet as all five men stared at the enormous breasts of a well-endowed blonde woman.

“Who picked her?” Phil asked.

“I did,” Rick grinned.

“So, uh… Latonya,” Malvin decided to be the one to start. “What is your biggest,” he paused as to keep himself from laughing. “Dream?”

She thought for a moment before answering. “My goal is to be a size EEE cup.”

Sav leaned over to Vivian and whispered. “Well, at least Joe’d ‘ave a preserver if the ship sank.”

 

 

“So?” Joe waited at the door as he had done for the past week.

“We’re down to 15,” Phil sighed.

“This is bloody wearin’ me out,” Rick huffed. “I’m tired of lookin’ at tits and ass all day.”

The others looked at him as if he were crazy.

“Okay, maybe not.”

“I say we go out t’night,” Vivian looked around the room.

“Nay, I’ll pass,” Sav waved them off. “I’ve got stuff to do.”

“Such as?” Joe raised his eyebrows.

“Uh…” he looked as if he were about to say something. “Nothin’. I’ll see you t’morrow.”

He frowned as he looked at Phil and then to Rick.

“No ideas, mate,” they shrugged their shoulders.

 

 

 

Sav walked in to again see Bethany preparing dinner for the boys. He sighed as he watched.

“Hi,” she smiled at him. “Hungry?”

“Not really,” he noticed that she hadn’t made a plate for herself.

“Is it okay if I go out for a bit? Do you have plans?”

“Uh… no,” he slid his hands into his pockets.

“Fine, I’ll only be…”

“No,” he interrupted her.

She was taken aback at his abruptness. “Excuse me?”

“I, uh… I…” his heart began racing as he struggled to say what was on his mind.

She turned to the boys, “behave yourselves, we’ll be right back.” She walked past him and out to the hall. “What is it, Rick?”

He joined her. “I… I need to ask you somethin’ first.”

She raised her eyebrows as she waited.

“We’ve got this… cruise comin’ up.”

“Yes, we’ve talked about it.”

“Well, I was wonderin’ if you’d… like to come with me?”

She watched him for a moment before answering. “I didn’t think you’d want to take the children on a cruise.”

“Well, you’re right.”

“I don’t follow.”

He looked up toward the ceiling before asking again. “Will YOU go on the cruise with ME?”

Her mouth dropped as her eyes widened. “What about the lads?”

“I’m ‘appy that you’re first thought is of them… I think… but I’ll take care of it. John can keep them. Or I can send them to Mississippi for a week. Either way… It would just be you… and me.”

She slowly began to smile. “I’d love to.”

“Great,” his eyes lit up. “It’s… a date.”

“A date,” she blushed before walking back to the kitchen.

He again looked up toward the ceiling. Okay, Min. Here goes. Wish me luck.

The Bachelors

7

 

Amy frowned as she worked through the music. She sighed and stopped playing before reaching up and rewinding the playback. As she listened, Nathan walked through the door.

“Ugh!” she pointed to the player. “Do you have any idea how ridiculous this sounds?”

“I think it’s great, Am. What?”

She rolled her eyes. “’All The Young Dudes’ was never meant to be a piano solo! It sounds like friggin’ elevator music!”

“Just calm down,” he laughed. “Just give the people what they’re paying for.”

She listened for a moment longer before grunting and turning the player off. She began cursing in Japanese as she skimmed through another sheet of music. “Ah, now this I can handle!”

Nathan sat back and listened as she began ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’

 

 

“All righty,” Malvin sighed as he read over the ‘chart.’ “Annette, Maria, Diane, Cari and Meghan are in.”

“What about Latonya?” Rick teased.

“Shhh,” Sav bopped him on the back of the head.

“I still like that red head, too,” Vivian nodded.

“Any objections to Rose?” Malvin asked.

There was no response.

“Rose it is.”

“And there was that Geri woman. It would spice it up a bit, don’t you think?” Phil grinned.

“Oh, yeah!” Vivian followed as Sav and Rick nodded their heads.

“And Geri,” Malvin continued to make notes. “Shall I write ‘motorcycle mamma’ next to her name?”

“Nah,” Sav chomped on a piece of gum. “Joe’s discovery of that is ‘alf the fun.”

They all laughed.

“So that means we only ‘ave eight t’day?” Rick perked up. “Well send ‘em in!”

They heard the door open.

“That was fast,” Malvin looked up.

Joe was standing before them with a huge grin on his face. “Are those my dates? In the lobby? Brilliant job, mates!”

“Joe! You’re not s’posed to be ‘ere!” Sav yelled at him.

“Yeah! For all you know, those could be the rejects!” Rick followed.

“So they get bet’er?” he grinned.

“You know,” Malvin began. “The sooner you leave, the sooner we can get the information of the final 10 to you.”

“Later!” he quickly left.

“I actually think he’s beginning to enjoy this,” Sav looked around.

“Who wouldn’t,” Phil huffed.

 

 

Bethany stood in front of the mirrors and looked over the flowery dress she had on.

“I like it,” Austin smiled from the tandem stroller behind her.

“You do?” she asked as she turned around. “What about you, Tommy?”

The two-year-old responded with the sucking of his two middle fingers. He then turned to his three-year-old big brother. Austin smiled and nodded his head. Tommy then turned to Bethany and nodded.

“Seems like we have a consensus, then,” she sighed. “So what about the green dress?”

Austin slapped his forehead and sighed. “No, Beth-nee.”

“Well then…” she walked into the dressing room to change.

The Bachelors

8

 

“C’mon, Joe! Ship leaves in an hour!” Malvin called out from the door.

“Comin’!” he gathered all of the photos scattered across his hotel bed.

“So now, what ‘appens when a lass gets the boot?” Rick’s eyes widened as he spoke with Sav and Vivian in the hall.

“She gets tossed off the boat, mate!” Sav laughed. “They ‘ad to sign an agreement.”

“What about sharks?” Vivian yelped.

Phil walked up to them and rolled his eyes. “They do not! Stop it!”

“Alright, lads. Let’s load up,” Malvin ushered them toward the elevator.

“Mal,” Rick stopped. “Are they really givin’ the loosers the plank?”

He rolled his beady little eyes from Phil to Sav and then back to Rick. “Aye.”

“They are not!” Phil laughed as he pushed past them and walked to the elevator.

“See? Told ya!” Sav laughed as he pointed to Malvin.

 

 

“Miss Bradford?” a nicely dressed English woman with blonde hair met her at the dock.

“Amy, please,” she bowed slightly as she shook her hand.

“Amy, I’m Gabrielle Embry, the Cruise Ship Director. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“And you as well,” she briefly looked around at the marina. “This is beautiful enough right here.”

“Just wait until we’re out on the water. It’s breathtaking.”

She took a deep breath and enjoyed the salty air that brought back so many memories from her childhood in Okinawa.

“May I show you to your room?”

“Absolutely,” she picked her black leather bag up and carried it with her down the ramp.

As they walked down the hallway, Amy noticed that each room’s occupant was listed in a frame on the door. None of them really looked familiar. Margo Cordozo, Rose Sellers, Bethany Mitchell, Rick Savage…

She stopped and stared at the name. Wasn’t that… nah! She took a few more steps and looked up to see the name of Joe Elliott.

“Oh my God,” she stopped and covered her mouth with her hand. Her heart began to race as she closed her eyes and aimed at the next room. “Please be here,” she whispered as she looked up. Phil Collen.

“Amy?” Gabrielle called for the third time.

“I’m sorry, what?” she looked up, her cheeks a bit pinker than previously.

“Here’s your room. Can I get you anything?”

She looked at her door, which was directly across from Phil’s. A key to Phil’s room, she thought to herself. “Ah… no. Thank you.”

“Great. Your first performance won’t be until dinner tomorrow night. I hope you enjoy your time with us.”

“Oh…” she glanced at the door across from her. “I’m sure I will.”

 

 

“You ready for this?” Sav smiled as the limousine pulled up to the marina.

“Are you kidding?” Bethany smiled. “I’ve never been out of Ireland before. And now I’m in Spain headed for a cruise! This is wonderful!”

He grinned as he watched her stare out of the window.

“Well… I guess this week will be full of firsts for the both of us.”

She turned to catch his smiled. “That’s right,” she froze. “I never thought about that.”

“What?” he watched her face.

“This is your first… date. Isn’t it?”

He tried to lighten the subject. “Look Bethany, I’ve got two sons. I think I ‘ave proof that I’ve at least dated before,” he chuckled.

“You know what I mean,” she took his hand. “This is a good thing, Rick. And I’m glad…” she took in a deep breath. “I’m glad that it could be me.”

He gazed into her eyes as he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “So am I,” he whispered.