Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the theatre this evening... MY theatre, that is. Sit back and relax... this short-run showing of parts of my life up to date won't take very long. There will be a fifteen minute intermission between Acts 1 and 2. Concessions of the alcoholic and illegal nature will be served in the lobby, and the lavatories are located to the left and the right of the theatre. Feel free to yell, scream, hoop, holler, and just make a general ruckus throughout the performance. In addition, the shedding of clothing to the point of nekkidness is also strongly encouraged. Thank you for coming, and please enjoy the show...
