Title: Suicide Squeeze

Author: Marjorie Joyce

Author email: marjorie@compuserve.com

Category: The Rebellion

Keywords: Han, Leia

Spoilers: none

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Trying to distance herself from Han and Luke- -two men in her life who are causing her increasingly confusing if not romantic feelings--Leia ends up crash-landing into a thornworm nest on Half Moon and finds her only way of escape is up a small, thorn- filled tunnel. Guess who saves the day. Plenty of searing Han-and-Leia interaction, and the usual hints at the Princess' latent Force skills.

Disclaimers: The following is a labor of love, and--as we all know--love does not get you money. I'm eternally grateful, though, to Carrie, Harrison, Mark, and George for sharing their talents with the world. (I.e., this work is based on characters and situations created and owned by Lucasfilm, Ltd. No money is being made and no infringement is intended.)

References: "In Your Dreams," Marjorie Joyce (to be published in "Kiss 3," May 2001); "The Princess and the Nerfherder," Carolyn Golledge

"Good to go, Your Holiness," said Captain Han Solo to Princess Leia Organa as he slid off the nose of the small, late-Imperial-make shuttlecraft she'd be piloting to Half Moon. She was leaving the Rebels' newly established base on Hoth to meet Alliance contact Sodus Bay, and Solo was running a pre-flight check on the simple yet effective aircraft.

"I'll tell ya, I don't mind not carting your royal butt around for once, but you shouldn't be going alone," Solo added as he hitched his thumbs on the waistband of his de rigueur Corellian Bloodstriped pants.

"Your concern is touching," the Princess replied dryly, turning down an end of her petite mouth as she cast him a sideways glance. Han noticed how appealing she looked in her white thermal overalls and white shirt with sleeves pushed up to her elbows. She whapped away from her face a strand of hair that had come loose from her high ponytail, and closed the second of the two cases of electronics supplies she was taking to Half Moon. Bending with her knees, she started to lift the first case to carry into the shuttle. Han stomped up to her with a scowl, grabbed the case from her, and walked up the craft's ramp.

Leia watched Han's back disappear into the shuttle with a smile on her face. "That head of yours must be thicker than I thought," she called out. "After almost three years one would think you'd accept the reality that Command makes the decisions around here, you don't."

"That's right," Han replied as he walked back down the ramp and tapped a thumb to his chest. "That's why I'm not among the enlisted."

"But you're doing pre-flight."

Han paused mid-swing with the second case and gave her a dazzling smile. "Out of the kindness of my heart, gorgeous. Out of the kindness of my heart."

"Right," Leia rolled her eyes, turning to watch him walk back up the ramp. "You just couldn't pass up an opportunity to take a parting shot at me. Either that or you're jealous of Mr. Bay."

"Jealous?!" Han poked his head out of the ship and repeated indignantly. She'd hit pretty close to the mark. He started back down the ramp with arms spread. "I never had the chance to meet the guy on Colosse, remember? No--of course you don't. You were blitzed the entire night."

"That's not true..." Leia started, feeling blood rush to her cheeks.

"Whatever," Han cut in. "Anyway, if anyone's jealous, it's Luke. He's not happy you're going alone to Half Moon, either."

Leia crossed her arms and sighed. "Don't try invoking Luke with me," she said with a sweet smile. "He and I have already talked about it."

"And?"

"And...well...," the Princess said, breaking eye contact with the Corellian. "He's got to accept the reality that Command makes the decisions around here, too."

Han let out a short laugh, then grew serious and walked up to stand toe-to-toe with her. "Admit it, Your Worship, you've got no defense except that you're working it so you don't travel with me or Luke anymore. And the stuff you're doing is getting more and more dangerous. Why is that?"

"You don't know anything about what I'm doing," Leia shot back then turned aside. How was he able to hit nerves of hers she didn't even realize she had? "And I want to keep it that way," she muttered to herself.

Han didn't miss her second comment. He grabbed her elbows and spun her to face him. "You can't handle the fact that you're starting to have feelings for people again...since Alderaan...but you're gonna have to get used to it eventually, sweetheart," Han said, staring her down. "Even Command won't let you commit suicide."

Their eyes searched each other's for what seemed like an eternity, each wondering how much the other had guessed and how much the other actually knew. Then Leia wrenched an arm away from him and lifted her chin. "Captain, I don't know where you get your delusions...."

"Cut the 'Captain' routine!" Han said hotly.

Leia responded unconsciously in kind. "Don't call me 'Your Worship'!"

"Oh, would you prefer I call you 'Frigid'?!"

At that Leia drew back a hand and slapped him squarely across the face. They'd fought plenty over the past three years, but this fight had gotten way too personal. With tears in her eyes she held her hand in a trembling fist.

Han stood in shock. She had actually hurt him. His hazel eyes turned gray as regret at his words washed over him.

"I deserved that," Han said. "I'm sorry...."

"I'm not," Leia replied as she strode past him and up into the shuttlecraft.

A few hours later as she approached Half Moon, Leia had finally calmed down, but she couldn't stop thinking about what Han had said.

"Dammit, what does he know about what I'm doing...or feeling? I don't tell him anything.

That was true, but Han was a keen observer of life- form behavior--it had been part of his smuggling profession. And, as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. She had been increasingly loitering about the Millennium Falcon, its captain, its co-pilot Chewbacca, and its frequent boarder Luke. Many a meal were spent and sabacc game lost with them. But when it came to Alliance business she had been distancing herself, no longer volunteering for jobs with Luke and/or Han, and rearranging assignments that involved them and her so that she was conveniently on her own or unavailable. She'd even resorted to influencing Command to arrange things so that she wasn't working with them. (She supposed Rieekan had let Han in on that, no doubt by Han's prodding. Rieekan was as straight as they came, which is why she didn't get the mutual admiration society he and Han had built between each other.) And, yes, she'd been taking more and more risks in her work, travelling alone, putting herself in more potentially explosive situations. This shuttlecraft idea was hers, the ship being one of those rare captured Imperial vehicles, the model she'd actually learned to fly in no less.

Han had noticed her reckless, isolating behaviors; why hadn't she?

Then one of her increasingly frequent visions popped into her mind. Han as walking her into a dark corner, staring at her intently. Her back as up against the wall; there was nowhere to go. His mouth was on her neck; she felt lightheaded. Then suddenly her back was to Luke, and it was his outh on her neck. She looked absently to her shoulder and saw Luke's and on it...then...suddenly...it was Darth Vader's black-gloved hand, and he pulled her against his cold armored body. Her ears rang. She looked forward. Alderaan was exploding before her eyes. Again.

Screaming along with the ship's alarms, Leia saw the treetops of Half Moon shattering across the viewscreen. The shuttle skipped along the treetop surface, then dove in. She was unconscious by the time the craft crashed into a ravine and bored into a hillside pocked with thornworm tunnels.

"What is it, General?" Han said into his comlink as he lay on his back ripping yet another circuit bank apart in the forward hold of the Millennium Falcon.

"Solo, do you know if Princess Organa left as scheduled for Half Moon this morning?" Rieekan asked.

The side of Han's face that Leia slapped that morning stung anew. "Oh, yeah..." Han drawled, rubbing his cheek. "She definitely did."

"Then we may have trouble. Sodus Bay just sent a message indicating she hasn't shown up for their meeting."

Han's stomach fell and he banged his head against the floor. "Damn her...she's gone and done it," he thought aloud.

"What's that, Solo?"

"Nothing, General," Han said, shaking his head, then suddenly beginning to smile. "I mean, good thing I left that homing device on her ship, isn't it?"

"Don't worry, General," Han said as he and Rieekan took quick strides to the Hoth base's ice-cavern hangar. "That homing device transmits a signal only receivers like the one the Falcon has can pick up."

"You mean a Vortex customized smuggling receiver, don't you?" Rieekan asked with a small smile.

"Uh...yeah," Han said, shifting his eyes from Rieekan's. "They come in handy when you have to drop a shipment. Makes it a helluva lot easier to retrieve later. How do you know about the Vortex?"

"Don't forget, Solo, I used to work on the other side of the law from you."

Han nodded. They stopped at the foot of the Millennium Falcon's ramp.

"Is Skywalker going with you?" Rieekan asked.

"Actually, I haven't told him what's happened," Han edged, though the suspicion that Luke somehow already knew niggled the back of his mind. The kid always seemed to know these things; must have been part of his Jedi thing. 'Best for me to get airborne as soon as possible,' Han thought to himself. He looked at Rieekan out of the corners of his eyes. "Let's just say the Princess isn't going to be happy to see me, let alone the both of us right now."

Rieekan gave Han a dubious look, then chuckled softly. "I doubt she'll be happy to see you, either," he said. "Or act like it, anyway. You push too many of her buttons for her comfort, but she needs you."

"Thanks," Han said, "I think."

"It's better Luke doesn't know the particulars about Leia's situation, actually," Rieekan added. "We're keeping it quiet for now--no need to take minds off the work at hand. Even if we told just Luke, it wouldn't be long before it was all over base. He's popular, and with his open and trusting nature...."

"Yeah..." Han said and they finished the thought silently.

"You'll get full support from Sodus and the Alliance cell there if you need it," Rieekan said. He looked up through an opening in the hangar ceiling and sighed, then returned his gaze to Han. "You know what the Princess means to us, and...seeing as you left that device on her ship, I know exactly what she means to you now," Rieekan continued. He layed a hand on Han's shoulder; the Corellian didn't flinch from his steady gaze. "You'd be a fool to give up on her now, son. May the Force be with you."

Leia opened her eyes, but everything was still dark. She closed them and opened them again. Still pitch black.

'Am I dead?' she asked herself. Her chest felt sore as she drew a breath.

"Lungs still work. Okay. Let's move."

She couldn't lift her shoulders off her seat. "Of course. Still strapped in. That'll do it." She reached to release the harness buckles, and that hurt even more.

"Not gonna get much better from here, Organa. Better suck it up. Han wasn't far off; I must have a death wish."

Every muscle cried out as she slowly, stiffly stood up. She felt her way behind her seat, stumbling over ship parts that had come loose in the crash, tree limbs and leaves, and piles of dirt. Eventually she found what she was looking for--a travel light. She switched it on and swung it around the cabin. The left side of the ship was intact, the front control console crushed, the viewscreen broken and covered with soil, and the front right side sheared away to reveal what looked like a dirt wall. Walking forward cautiously, she stepped through the opening on the right side, climbed over and around several large chunks of soil, and entered what appeared to be a small dirt cave. In the middle of the cave a circle of sunlight streamed from the ceiling to the floor.

"What is this place?" Leia wondered aloud, then smelled something. Not good.

She spun around and her light glinted on something pink and oozing out from under the ship.

"Don't tell me. It's not...."

It was. A thornworm. She'd read about this unique inhabitant of Half Moon in preparation for her trip but never expected to end up in a forest, where they lived. Thornworms bored false tunnels toward their underground nests to capture small creatures that would fall down the holes as cheap, pre-stunned food, the worms' bodies secreting a fluid that penetrated the soil and yielded small, sharp thorns that caused too much pain for large creatures--such as humans--to come down the tunnels. Or, as Leia realized as she looked at the thorns through the dust swirling in the sunlight, from going up the tunnel.

"Stang."

She looked back to the buried ship, which effectively cut off any other avenues of escape from the nest. The ship wasn't going anywhere, and with the control console destroyed there was no equipment to send a message for help with. Besides, heavy machinery would have to be used to dig her and the ship out, which would cause unwanted attention.

"It's my only hope," she said as she went back into the ship and rummaged for a flight jacket and the two cases she'd brought for Sodus. After a long and painful struggle to get the cases into the nest she stacked them on top of each other, tenderly shrugged on the jacket, and stepped up onto the cases. She stood shoulder level with the bottom of the tunnel. Reaching for a thorn, she tried to pull it out. Nothing doing. Leia sighed. Too tight quarters to use the emergency hatchet in the ship. And her blaster wasn't accurate enough to sharpshoot the thorns off; she'd most likely send the surrounding dirt down into the nest with her, perhaps causing the entire tunnel to collapse.

"Yeah, I gotta do this," she decided, holding out her elbows, carefully placing them between the thorns, and beginning to inch herself up the tunnel. But with every move a thorn snagged her somewhere--her back, a leg, her chest, an arm--ripping her clothing and usually her skin, compounding the pain from the crash. Every excruciating, slow meter up left her clothes redder. She hissed in a breath, then cried out and ran a bloody hand across her face.

Flying in the Millennium Falcon above the forest where the homing device indicated Leia's ship was, Han and Chewbacca found a clearing and landed without apparent notice. Han went on foot to the area he and his wookiee first-mate had noticed treetops had been damaged. With a coordinate reader and a comlink for Chewbacca to direct him with, Han came upon the freshly ripped-up ravine.

"Chewie, I see skid marks, but I don't see the ship," Han said into his comlink.

*Where do the skid marks go?* the wookiee asked.

"Into a hillside...they just disappear...good gods, she went underground!"

*What do you mean she...*

"Talk to ya later," Han cut in and shut off the comlink, then scrambled up the hillside to the flat forest floor. Between footsteps crunching on leaves, he heard a muffled cry. He stopped and listened for it again. In a few moments it came once more, and closer. 'Is that an animal?' he wondered, then scanned the trees. A third time he heard it. No, sounded human. Where was it coming from? He sprinted forward and his left leg suddenly collapsed. As he tried to stand back up he realized his leg had fallen down a hole, and was being ripped to shreds. Slowly and painfully he pulled it back up, then looked down the hole. Thorns. "What are the bastards that built that thing?" he asked himself aloud.

Another cry. Very close. 'She's in one of those,' he realized. Limping to his right, Han fell to his knees at a hole in the ground and looked down.

"Leia?!" The Princess' pale face was looking up at him, streaked in blood and tears.

Leia tried to smile at the familiar furrowed brow she saw above, but she only managed a grimace. "Kreth, sweetheart, are you allright?" Han called down.

"I will be," she said between slow breaths, "as soon as I get out of here."

"What are these holes?"

"They don't call the local vermin 'thornworms' for nothing," Leia said through clenched teeth.

"Okay, okay," Han said, heartened to see she still had her senses about her, including her sense of humor. "How can I help?"

"I don't know. Make the pain go away," she said, pulling herself up another notch and stifling a cry as a new set of thorns tore into her.

"Stop!" Han shouted. "Stay still. Kreth, I can't stand to see you ripping yourself up."

"You're the one who said I was suicidal," Leia said between breaths.

"Yeah, you're in a real suicide squeeze here," he said with a fleeting smile. "Now, come on--give me a minute to think." A few moments of silence passed.

Leia shifted her feet on the tunnel walls. "I can hear the wheels grinding," she said.

"Nice," Han replied. Then his classic inspiration struck again--in a flash. "That's it--a macrofuser!" He pulled out his comlink. "Chewie, bring me a macrofuser...that's right, ya hairy oaf, a macrofuser- -now! She's in trouble!"

Chewie steadied Han's calves as the Corellian's torso hung down the tunnel and he fused off the last of the thorns.

"Okay, Princess?" Han asked between takes.

"Okay," came Leia's muffled reply from under his flight jacket, which he'd layed over her head and shoulders to protect her from fuser sparks.

"Wouldn't want to singe those royal locks," Han said, making sure she was still conscious as he fought the image of her with her hair down from filling his mind. Had to concentrate on the job at hand. In short order he lifted his jacket off the Princess and tossed it up and out of the tunnel. It landed as if it were aimed on Chewbacca's head. With an indignant roar the wookiee removed it just in time to see the macrofuser flying up. He caught it then waved it threateningly at Han as the Corellian backed out of the tunnel, let Leia inch up to the top, then leaned down and lifted her up free and clear at last.

Han layed Leia down on the soft forest floor and involuntarily gasped at what he saw. The Princess' usually pristine white attire was practically red. Chewbacca howled; Han fought a rare urge to panic.

"Oh, gods, Leia," Han said, kneeling and reaching for but afraid to touch her face. "You're gonna be allright." He looked into the wookiee's face and they exchanged wordless worry.

"Do I look that bad?" Leia said as she shivered. She was going into shock.

"Sweetheart, you always look good to me, but does it hurt as bad as it looks?"

"It probably hurts worse," she said.

"I bet," Han said with a small smile and stroked her cheek. He set his hands on his knees. "I'm gonna have to lift you, take you to the Falcon. Ready?"

Leia nodded, took a breath, and closed her eyes.

Han slid his arms under her and lifted her up as he got to one knee. She stifled a moan.

"I'm sorry, Leia. Don't mean to hurt you," he said as he looked into her face, his words to her that morning echoing in his ears.

Han stood up and she cried in pain.

"Sorry," he said again and looked down to see Leia had passed out. Walking as fast as he could without jostling her, he and Chewbacca thought it had never taken so long to get to the Falcon.

Leia awoke to the familiar hum of the Millennium Falcon. She lay in the medical bunk, her entire body seemingly on fire, like a small insect had bitten her all over. Small, deep cuts on her torso, arms, and legs throbbed. She was ready to close her eyes again when Han appeared. He layed his hand on her forehead. "Hey, Princess, how are you feeling?" he asked softly.

"I feel terrible."

"That's supposed to be my line," Han said with a quick smile and glanced at the medpac on the wall. "Gave you an antibiotic, and the painkiller should be kicking in any time now. We don't have synth blood, don't know if you've lost enough to need some, but we'll back to the base real soon. They'll take care of you in a flash there."

"Better strip me," Leia said matter of factly.

"What?!" Han asked, wondering if he was dreaming or she was delirious.

"Strip me...you know...so my clothes don't dry to the wounds?"

"Right," Han said as she realized what she meant. "Okay."

She closed her eyes and Han ran a hand over his face.

'I don't want to do this,' he thought. 'I mean, I want to do this, but not this way.' She'd done this to him before, after that botched mission on Oceania, but somehow that was different. He wondered if Chewbacca ought to strip her instead. 'No, that would be even more uncomfortable for her.' Han made up his mind: it had to be done.

"Allright, Princess, let's start with the easy stuff." He walked to the end of the bunk and unfastened her boots. Then he was at the head of the bunk and unzipping her shredded flight jacket. Silently he worked it over her shoulders and under her back, moving each sleeve down in time so nothing tugged or strained her skin. With her face so pale, her lips seems to glow red. He unfastened the straps of the overalls that buttoned at her waist and layed them back along the bunk.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Han asked to distract both of them from the fact that he was unbuttoning her shirt, which was even more bloody and torn than her jacket.

"I don't know," Leia started softly, rolling her head to face him. "I did everything I was supposed to do...."

"These things happen, sweetheart," Han consoled. He unbuttoned the plackets on her overalls that ran from her waist to mid-thigh, then looked up to her face. "I've had my share of rough landings...and non- landings."

Leia started to laugh, then grimaced. "Don't me make laugh," she said behind a melting smile. "It hurts."

"Sorry," Han said, then stared at a wall and ran a hand through his hair. He realized a long silence had passed. Was she out again?

Han looked to Leia's face. She was staring at him with expectant eyes. "Don't tell me you're shy about this, Solo," she said with a smirk to cover her own trepidation.

"Me? Shy?" he started. "No...I'm just tryin' to figure out how to do this while preserving your 'royal dignity.'" Han looked up to avoid her gaze and saw a rack of neatly folded sheets. Inspiration struck once again.

'Only Threepio could have done this,' he thought as he reached for a sheet. 'I've never had so many sheets, let alone freshly pressed ones. Thanks, Goldenrod. I didn't know you cared.'

Han let the sheet unfold to the floor, then opened it width-wise and draped it over the Princess. Working his hands in under the sheet, he spread her shirt open and worked it off as he did her jacket. Leia watched his hands move slowly, tenderly, over her under the sheet; the image...the sensation...seemed strangely familiar.

"Hurt too much?" Han looked up and asked.

"No," Leia said as tears rolled out of the corners of her eyes. "I just want to get this stuff off."

As his hands moved over her midriff he could feel her ribs. "Thought about eating?" Han asked.

"You see me at almost every meal," Leia said as she stared up at the ceiling. "I don't skip."

"You could eat more," he said, starting to move her overalls down over her hips.

"Don't have much of an appetite."

"Why is that?" Han asked as he slid her pantlegs down and tried not to touch her legs.

Leia ignored the question. "How did you find me?" she asked instead.

"Left one of my smuggling homing devices on your ship," Han said. He pulled the overalls past her ankles and dropped the shredded, bloody clothing to the floor.

"So you're not just good looks after all," Leia said.

Han grinned in pleasant surprise. "You must be delirious, Your Highnessness. That was almost a compliment."

"Almost," she repeated as Han moved to the head of the bunk with a smile and reached into the medpac.

"I'm gonna spray some synth-flesh. Looks like you've stopped bleeding, but we better be safe, okay?" he said. Leia nodded and closed her eyes to the pain she knew was coming. Han lifted the sheet with one hand and with the other he sprayed her body, trying his best not to see anything.

"Can you roll over?" he asked. Leia opened her eyes and noticed Han's were shut. Smiling to herself, she gingerly flipped over to her stomach. "Go ahead," she said; he sprayed again. "On your back again?" he asked with eyes closed. Just as gingerly she flipped once more to her back. "Done," she said. He let the sheet fall back down, then reached over to close the medpac.

"Han," Leia said quietly, sliding a hand out from under the sheet. He took her hand; it was so small and pale in his. "Thank you. Thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for finding me." Her voice was small, but her eyes held his steadily. 'She's good,' he thought.

"It's my job, sweetheart," Han said simply. "So...no more suicide missions?"

"Yes," Leia said. Then her brown eyes turned black. She rolled her head to stare back up at the ceiling and dropped his hand to turn hers into a fist. "Dammit, I lost that shuttle," she remembered and pounded her fist on the bunk. "So stupid."

"Don't even think about that," Han soothed, gently catching her chin to turn her face back to him. "Command was a lot more concerned about you than an old Imp ship." Leia gave a small smile. "Now," he continued, "no more running away from me...or Luke?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Leia said innocently.

Han rolled his eyes. It was one painfully slow step at a time with this woman. But he was enjoying every single one. As usual he pushed his luck.

"Then how about a kiss?" he asked, leaning forward and waiting with a grin for her refusal.

Leia sighed. "If it'll make you go away," she said.

Han masked his surprise--and thrill--at her acceptance with a perfect sabacc face. "Okay," he said, "a goodbye kiss." Heart beating fast, he moved his lips over hers. "Goodbye for now, that is."

A furry shadow filled the crew's quarters doorway. *How is she?* Chewbacca asked.

Han straightened up and suppressed a string of curses. He looked down at the Princess and saw she was beginning to laugh. With a lopsided smile, he gave her a wink, then walked to the doorway, waved a hand over the light control to dim the room, and leaned his elbows on the jambs.

"I think she's gonna be fine, pal," Han said under his breath. "She's lucid, don't think she's lost that much blood. She's just real beat up and in a lot of pain from that and the impact of the crash."

*Thank the Tree Lord,* Chewbacca said.

"Whoever," Han dismissed. "Did you contact Sodus?"

*He and a team are on their way to the coordinates I gave them,* the wookiee explained. *Their plan is to burn off the rest of the thorns in the tunnel and recover the electronics supplies in the cases, as well as clear any debris from the crash and cover the skid marks in the ravine. Otherwise the shuttle is conveniently buried...for now, anyway.*

"Thanks, Chewie," Han said, then hefted a thumb back toward the bunk. "I'll tell ya, she's a pretty strong lady. Stoic through the whole thing."

*What whole thing?* Chewie asked, tilting his head to one side, then looking over Han's shoulder to see her clothes on the floor. Han realized what Chewbacca saw and gently pushed the wookiee forward as he stepped out of the crew's quarters and Leia's earshot. "Didn't want her clothes to dry to the cuts," Han said.

*Of course,* Chewie said with a smile, then echoed Rieekan's earlier gesture, laying a hairy paw on Han's shoulder. *You're a good man, Cub. You'd be a fool to give up on her now.*

Han gave a rare shy smile and turned back to look at the Princess' small frame on the bunk. She'd passed out at last. "Yeah, well, we're gonna have to leave the Alliance soon...especially after what we learned on Ord Mantell," he said as he leaned with a thud against the ring wall. Crossing his arms, Han sighed. "I think I'm the one in the suicide squeeze now."