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By subscription only! Welcome to another issue of:

                "THE BALANCED WOMAN".

Thanks to all of you who have encouraged your friends to subscribe!  You are important to us.  So rest assured we will NEVER sell or give away your email addresses to anyone!!

We realize that not all of the email programs available can accommodate our size.  So you can also find this issue of The Balanced Woman at: http://www.betweenfriends.vjungle.com/issue20.html

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              IN THIS ISSUE
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       => Welcome
       => Feature Article: "Sanity Saving Holiday Tips"
       => Household Tip
       => Column: "A Place for Everything"
       => Parenting Tip
       => Classified Ads
       => Guest Column:"An Easy Technique to Avoid Being Stressed"
       => Pampering Yourself
       => Can You Help this Reader?
       => Help Others without Spending a Dime!
       => Subscribe/Un subscribe information

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                       WELCOME

Happy Holidays!  Crazed yet?  I think it's official, the holiday season has begun!  So this issue is devoted to articles to help you ease the stress of this "joyous" season.  But amidst all the planning and scheduling and baking and decorating try not to lose sight of what it's really all about.  And that is family, friends, hope and goodness.  Along those lines...

One of our reader's sent in a heartwarming Christmas story called "The Christmas Walk". I found it so touching I just had to run it.  But it's too long for email so it can be found at: http://betweenfriends.vjungle.com/xmas.html

Last month we ran this reader's question, "Is there any hope for garments that the colors have run? You can find all of YOUR wonderful responses at http://www.betweenfriends.vjungle.com/blue.html

Site updates…

Please stop by and cast your vote at our completely anonymous site poll, if you haven't yet.  This month's poll asks: How stressful are the holidays for you?  While there, you'll also find the results of the previous poll at http://www.betweenfriends.org/poll.html

This month's recipe is again from our friends at Minute Meals.com.  It's Cheese Manicotti.  I've tried it and as always it's quick, delicious, easy and good! You can find the link for it at http://www.betweenfriends.org/househol.htm (on the far right hand side of the page!)

That's it for now.  I hope you enjoy this issue!
jackie

PS:  Please visit our website often at: http://www.betweenfriends.org It's full of articles, tips and links to help you bring more balance into your life.
 

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Feature Article: Sanity Saving Holiday Tips
By:  Jacqueline McLaughlin Hale
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1. Shop online.  At http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/betweenfriends you can find TONS of different holiday gifts!  Amazon even wraps and ships direct for you!  Talk about stress relief!

2. Do you have a big, extended family that's difficult to buy for?  Swap names, kind of like a Secret Santa.  Put everyone's name in a hat and have each person choose one.  The name you pick, is the person you buy for, and that's it!

3. Write out holiday cards while waiting for your children at sporting events, dance recitals and the like.

4. Pay bills while waiting for your children at sporting events, dance recitals and the like.

5. Does your child's school want you to sell products for a holiday fundraiser?  Donate money and skip the sales.  Or buy something for yourself and call it a day! (and STOP feeling guilty!)

6. Do you love to decorate but don't have the time?  Have a "Tree Trimming" party.  Put up the tree and its lights ahead of time.  Purchase some egg nog, baked goods, nuts, crackers and cheese.  Invite friends and relatives, hand them some decorations and go

7. Do you need a babysitter for holiday events? Have them perform double duty!  Pay them a little extra and ask them to trim the tree with your children!

8. Speaking of babysitters---line them up NOW, before they're all booked up!

9. Do you need some quality time with your spouse?  Get a babysitter and go holiday shopping.  You'll kill two birds with one stone and you can even grab some dinner in between.

10. Are babysitters leaving your broke?  Organize a babysitting coop with friends and neighbors who have young children.  Purchase or make some "funny money". Give everyone involved the same amount, at the start. Exchange funny money according to babysitting services rendered.  Charge $1.00 per hour for the first child and $.50 an hour for each additional child.  Create a coop directory and start!

11. Do you have a ton of holiday gifts to wrap and no time to do it?  Pay a local high school student to do it for you.  Provide the materials and let them provide the labor.

12. Does laundry have you down?  Put a load in the washer before you go to bed at night.  Move it to the dryer as soon as you wake up in the morning.  Take it out and fold it when you get home from work and start all over again with a new load. (Note: NEVER leave appliances running when you are NOT home)
 

Jacqueline McLaughlin Hale is a CPA and the editor of Between Friends: Resources for Mothers (http://www.betweenfriends.org) Between Friends contains household hints, time management tips, articles on organization, parenting, money management, career, self employment, self improvement and more!  Subscribe to its FREE monthly ezine, The Balanced Woman.  Visit today!

Webmasters and publishers may use this article in their ezine or website, as long as the *entire*
article is used, and the *copyright notice* and *resource box* are left in tact, including this notice

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            HOUSEHOLD HINT OF THE MONTH

If you're involved in a fairly major cooking project (lots of mixing bowls, measuring cups, multiple pans, etc.), take a minute to run a sink of hot soapy water. As you finish with bowls and utensils, immediately put them into the sink of water. When it's time to clean up, the soaking dishes will be much easier to rinse clean for the dishwasher (or to wash by hand) than if you left them sitting on the counter. Also, this practice keeps all the dishes in one place, keeping down the clutter and potential for spills, etc.

From Emazing.com (http://www.emazing.com)

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"A Place for Everything"
By Monica Resinger
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So, you've made the very good decision to get organized, you've sorted through your belongings and you now have only items that you love and are usable.  This may be for one small area of your home, a few areas, a drawer or two, or the whole house.  Whatever you have done, it is an accomplishment no matter how big or small, so congratulations!

A very important aspect of being and staying organized it to have a place for everything.  If you don't have a place for everything, then it all starts piling up again and pretty soon you're keeping everything because it's hard to tell what's what and what's where.

Here's the scenario:  You don't have a home for anything and whenever the mail comes in or you go shopping, you just put the items wherever you find room.  This is what leads to being unorganized.  Believe me, I know, I've been through it.  I urge you to put some thought into making a home for every single type of item that you keep, this is so important!  If you bring something new and different home and you don`t have a place for it, make a place for it immediately or as soon as possible.  If you don't have room, you'd better get sorting again.

Here are a few suggestions on how and where to store some common items found around the house.

In the office

Paperwork:  A filing cabinet is a huge lifesaver when it comes to organizing your paperwork.  I made files for every type of paper I had lying around, from movie reviews to our house papers and I can't say how much easier this has made my life.  I put these files in alphabetical order in my filing cabinet and now everything is put away, but even more thrilling is the fact that I can actually find a piece of paper in about five seconds!  This is a huge improvement for me when before, I wouldn't even know where to begin searching for a piece of paper let alone have success in finding it.

Magazines:  Cereal boxes are very handy for keeping magazines neat.  To make a magazine holder out of a cereal box, cut off the top inch or so of the box, then, starting at one side of the top and cutting at a downwards angle, cut down half to one third the height of the box.  Do this on the other side also and you will then have a magazine holder.  At this point, you can decorate the holder by pasting pretty magazine pictures on it or painting it, then adding lace or ribbon.  You can also put magazines in big wide wicker baskets.

Coupons:  I have found envelopes very handy for storing coupons.  Just label them the way you'd like them labeled (alphabetically or by type of food) and put your clipped coupons in them.  The envelopes can be stored in a recipe or card file box of appropriate size.

In the closet:

Blankets:  Laundry baskets make excellent holders for blankets that sometimes fit awkwardly on shelves.

Shoes:  An over-the-door shoe hanger is a great way to get shoes off the floor.

Travel bags, purses and totes:  Plastic storage bins are very handy for storing these.

In the craft room: Crafting items:  See-through plastic storage bins are a very good container for this because you can see where your items are and thus find things quickly.  I store my yarn for crocheting in the large ones.

In the living room:

Remote controls:  A great way to store these is in small wicker or wire baskets.

Odds and ends:  We use a wooden chest as a coffee table and it's handy because it doubles as storage.  We keep some of our collectibles in there along with craft pattern books and other odds and ends.  Another idea for this is to put a wooden or glass circle on top of a new garbage can.  You would then drape a decorative tablecloth over the top of the circle.  The garbage container can then be used to store your odds and ends and you would also have a decorative table for fresh flower arrangements or knick-knacks.

In the bathroom

Miscellaneous items:  Wicker baskets are great for storing a lot of items in the bathroom.  You can put all your hair styling aids in a large one, washrags in another and cosmetics in another.

Medicines:  For the medicine cabinet, I bought short, plastic drawer organizers that fit the shelves just right.  I have one for headache medicines, one for cold medicines, one for owies (band-aids, ointment, etc.), one for stomach medicines, etc.  This not only makes it easier to find items, but it also makes it easier to wipe the shelves when they become dirty.

Toilet Paper:  I crocheted a toilet paper holder to hang right above the toilet, so when someone runs out of toilet paper, there should be a roll in the holder for easy retrieval.  You may be able to find one of these at a craft bazaar.

In the bedrooms

Miscellaneous items:  Under the bed storage organizers are great for storing seasonal clothes, Christmas wrapping supplies, gifts to give, books, and other items.

Kids toys:  The see-through plastic bins are great for toys because the kids can see what goes where.  You can also mark the bin with a picture or word.
 
Crayons:  Save baby wipe containers or coffee cans to store crayons in.  If using a coffee can be sure there are no sharp edges to cut the children.

I hope this gives you enough ideas to get you started in finding a place for everything.  Once you have accomplished this, you only need to train yourself and family members to put things away in the appropriate places.

Copyright, 2000, Monica Resinger
Author Bio:  Monica Resinger is editor/founder of Creative Home Newsletter; a free, weekly newsletter
with articles and tips on organizing, cooking, cleaning, decorating and more. To get this free newsletter, send a blank e-mail to:CreativeHome-subscribe@egroups.com  To read more of Monica's articles, stop here:
http://www.geocities.com/PicketFence/Garden/2996/articles.html

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            PARENTING TIP OF THE MONTH

This month's parenting tip was submitted by a Balanced Woman reader!  It's an absolutely, wonderful poem with an important parenting message.  It's too long to print here so it can be found at:  http://betweenfriends.vjungle.com/arabella.html

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An Easy Technique to Avoid Being Stressed
By: Graham Harris
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Often writers suggest there are two routes to being stressed.  Stress you bring on yourself: often manifested in the roles you play, Mother, father, partner, entrepreneur, proprietor, CEO.  And stress others give you: the banker, the supplier, the egotistical one, the I am right one, member of the awkward squad, the adolescent child, the loving partner?

BUT I am suggesting there is only one route to stress: You always give it to yourself.  We internalise  what others do to us and  make it mean something. Lets have an example. Someone shouts at you or is angry at you. Do you take the anger and deal with it as:  This person is angry today. At the moment the role s/he is playing is that of an angry person. OR do you say this person is angry with ME I have done something to create this anger at me. It is my fault. Now you have caused yourself stress. You have decided, maybe subtly, to be stressed by this other person's behaviour.

We are all responsible for our thoughts and actions and whatever we think will affect the way we feel. So if you think you have done something wrong you will naturally feel depressed. Let's try an experiment. Think of a time when you felt you did something wrong. Just stay with it for a moment experience all that is happening around you. Lock into those feelings. How do you feel now? Can you see how your thoughts affect your feelings?

If you want to avoid being stressed you must start by looking at your thoughts, identifying when you attribute a thought that causes you stress.  Another ploy is to see other people and yourself as performing roles. Who are you? A Webmaster, an e-commerce entrepreneur, a mother, a father whatever role you like. Can you identify any differences in your behaviour when playing each of these roles?  Now look at others; can you see them as playing roles. Can you identify the role they are playing at a particular time? Now take it one step further and look at their behaviour as part of a role. So if they are angry that is what the role calls for at that moment. You can rate them in your mind, Oscar performance against amateur dramatics if you like. Also you can look at your own behaviour as part of a role.

When I am on the golf course I behave like this, when I am shopping, when I am the CEO I behave like that. Or perhaps like a number of people I have met your behaviour changes with the clothes you wear. I know a number of police officers whose personality completely changes the moment they put on the uniform in the locker room.

Therefore why get upset and stressed when things do not go as you anticipated. Everyone is playing a role and that role needs that behaviour. If you see it this way and don't take the behaviour personally then you will be less stressed.

If this is a new concept to you it may well feel uncomfortable if not impossible at first but practice and see the results on you by the end of the week. As with all things start small, practice handling the feeling when confronted by your young child, teenage children or partner. Just see them as the role they are performing at that moment. Give them the love and acceptance you would normally give but instead of returning the blows or rising to the bait just say to yourself this is just the role they are playing at the moment it has nothing to do with me, I am not going to internalise it and note the results.

Good luck.

Graham Harris is a writer, facilitator, trainer and coach and can be found at http://www.cvspecialists.com. He also studies meditation with the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University.
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             Pampering Yourself

Go to the mall---but not necessarily to shop.  Get yourself a hot cafe mocha, hot chocolate or any other hot drink that you enjoy.  Walk around, sip your drink and enjoy all of the wonderful holiday decorations and song!

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          Can You Help this Reader?

Any ideas on how to remove that mouldy smell from, in this case, curtains that have been stored in a wardrobe for too long???
Have been normal machine washed and line dried but it's still there!  Thanks in anticipation

Please send your suggetions to me at jahale95@yahoo.com with "mold" in the subject.

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                    Disclaimer

The appearance of advertising in The Balanced Woman should not be interpreted as an endorsement by the editors of the service, product, business, or program being advertised.  We take no responsibility for claims or representations made in any ads.  The Balanced Woman is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  The ideas and information expressed in it have not been approved or authorized by anyone either explicitly or implicitly.  In no event shall Jacqueline McLaughlin Hale be liable for any damages whatsoever resulting from any action arising in connection with the use of this information or its publication, including any action for infringement of copyright or defamation.  The opinions expressed by our columnists are not necessarily the position of The Balanced Woman.
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Copyright 1999, 2000 JA Hale
Editor's Comments: If any of you have any ideas, comments and suggestions on how we can improve this e-zine please let me know.  Just send an email to: jahale95@yahoo.com

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