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By subscription only! Welcome to the third issue of:
"THE BALANCED WOMAN".
You are receiving this newsletter because you
requested a subscription. Instructions to Unsubscribe
are at the end of this newsletter.
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IN THIS ISSUE
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=> Welcome
=> Feature Article:How to
Get Anything You
Want: GET CLEAR
=> Household Tip
=> Guest Column: Living
with ADD
=> Parenting Tip
=> Keeping Romance Alive
=> Pampering Yourself
=> How to be a Guest Columnist
=> Guest Column: Organizing
Tips:
Home Managment 101
=> Favorite Links
=> On the Web
=> Subscribe/Unsubscribe
information
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WELCOME
Welcome to the third issue of "The Balanced Woman"
and thank you for subscribing!!! It is the dream of
"The Balanced Woman" to help woman everywhere "de-stress" their lives
just a little bit. If we can provide even one suggestion that will
make your life any easier,we will have accomplished our main goal!
Being a new ezine we're constantly searching for web sites and other links
that will enhance or compliment our main objective. If you have found
any sites particularly helpful, please let us know by emailing me at jahale95@yahoo.com.
Additionally, your input is
encouraged. If you have any tips relating to any of
our main subjects, please feel free to share them
with us and our readers. This is for you. Please help
us to serve you better.
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> FEATURE ARTICLE, HOW TO GET ANYTHING YOU WANT:
GET CLEAR!
>
by JA Hale
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As promised, this month I'm changing the focus of my series slightly
from how to get the job you want to how to get anything you want!!
In the first two articles we explored techniques for learning to value yourself and for determining what it is you really want based upon your dreams and your talents. So now that you know how truly incredible you are and now that you know what you want, we're going to redefine it.
"Redefine it?" some of you are asking. "Why? This is what
I want!" you are saying, or thinking. And it probably is. However,
if you're like most people the answers you have come up with are:
I want to lose weight.
I want more money.
I want a better job.
I want a partner.
I want to be a better friend.
I want to be more active.
I want to start my own business.
I want to be a better parent.
Many of you may even be wondering how I read your mind! We ALL want the same things out of life. We all have the same struggles. But what sets the achievers apart from the rest are CLEARLY DEFINED goals, or wants.
So, we're going to take your wants and redefine them. We're going to make them more specific and measureable! You can't achieve anything unless you really understand what it is you're trying to do. For example, if Ford wants to build a car that goes fast, they must define what fast is. Is it 60 MPH; is it 80 MPH or is it 120 MPH? I'm no design engineer but I AM sure the engineering specifications are different for each differing rate of speed.
Let's go back to our list of answers from above.
I want to lose weight. Okay, how MUCH weight do you want to lose? Do you want to lose 5 pounds, 15 pounds, 30 pounds or 100 pounds? Get specific. Restate your goal from I want to lose weight to I want to lose 30 pounds. The difference is subtle but distinct.
I want more money. How much more money do you want? Do you want $10 more a day, $50 more a day or $100 more a day. Figure it out. Sure some of you will say, I want a million dollars a year! Who wouldn't? But I find that most of us will be reasonable when we're specifying exactly how much more money we want.
I want a better job. This one may tie in with the one from above. What kind of better job? In what industry, doing what? Does a better job mean more money, more responsibility, more interesting tasks? If so, how much more money. How much and what kind of increased responsibilities. What kind of interesting tasks. What does "a better job" really mean?
I want a partner. Who is he; what does he look like? What does he do? How does he treat you? How does he treat your children? What are his interests? Does he smoke? Does he drink? Define him in detail. What kind of relationship do you want? Think about that one. Really think. Often we think we want one kind of relationship and then we get it and wish we had another. Be honest with yourself.
I want to be a better friend. What does that mean? Do you want to see your friends more often? Do you wish you had more time for them? Do you want to listen more? Do you want to remember birthdays? How do you WANT to be a better friend?
I want to be more active. What do you want to do? Do you want to skate, run, hike, go to the gym, swim, what is it you want to do and how often do you want to do it? Do you want to do it monthly, weekly, daily, semi-annually, how often? Be specific.
I want to start my own business. What kind of business? How? Who are your customers going to be? How much money will you need to get started; what tools will you use? How will you sell your product or service? Who will sell your product or service?
I want to be a better parent. What does that mean? Do you want to spend more time with your children? If so, how much more time and when? Do you want to have more patience with them; do you want to listen more and lecture less? Do you want to feed them healthier meals; do you want to talk to them more? How do you want to be a better parent? What do you expect from yourself?
Perhaps your goal is to be happy. Once again, and above all else “being happy” is too vague. What will it take for you to be happy? What makes you happy? Is it more time, more money, finding a better job? This all sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
Hopefully you can see that redefining your goals is all about asking questions of yourself. The more questions you ask, the more answers you’ll find. Write your questions down. Write your answers down too. More lists? Yep, more lists!! Lists help you to crystallize your thinking. They force you to get clear. Now that you're clear, next month we’ll take the next step.
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Personal Note: Just a very few months ago I met a wonderful,
caring, supportive woman who changed my life, literally, in just a few
short weeks. She helped me to determine my dreams and she believed
in them as much as I did. She gave me the confidence to pursue them
and in doing so everything for me has changed for the better. She
is a personal life coach. If you think about it athletes have coaches,
successful business people often have coaches, businesses themsevles have
coaches, so why not us? If you're interested please email Janina
Balfour at janina@kos.net.
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You KNOW Ezines are where you need your ads. But getting ad rates,
circulation, deadlines, ad rules, payments options, takes SO much time!
We have the solution! Everything you need to place your ads all in ONE
place. Stop by for all the details! http://www.lifestylespub.com
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HOUSEHOLD TIP OF THE MONTH:
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This month's household hint is too long to include in the newsletter.
So we've added it to the net. Please see our webpage at:
http://angelfire.com/sd/BalancedWoman/vinegar.html
for: 64 USES OF VINEGAR
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Guest Column:
LIVING WITH ADD
by: Gail Miller
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I am Gail. Mum to George; a beautiful blond haired, blue eyed 12 1/2
year old. Although he looks a normal and rather handsome chap, George is
diagnosed with ADHD (Attention deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and Asperger
syndrome (high functioning Autism). I first knew that he had problems
when he was about a year old. He wouldn't sleep at nights, preferring to
scream and holler for hours on end. As soon as he got to his feet, he became
like a tiny tornado. As he had become accident prone and hyperactive, I
voiced concerns
to my health visitor (children's nurse ). Apart from the violent temper
tantrums he had started having, he didn’t play 'properly' and would destroy
anything he could get his hands on. By the time he was around 2 1/2
years old the physical strain of looking after him was exhausting for me.
His attention span was almost non-existent and he would flit about from
one thing to another.
Things got worst when he got to school as his difficulties now became
public, so to speak. He stuck out like a sore thumb in class. He
was disruptive and often wandered round the classroom for no reason. His
tutors found him difficult to supervise as his poor
attention span meant he couldn’t stay on task long enough to complete
work.
Years went by and things got worse as we consulted a string of heath-care
professionals who didn't help us. It was subtly suggested that we were
at fault; that our parenting skills weren't up to scratch! George would
butt in when other people were talking because he was so impulsive, and
would throw the most almighty tantrums should something not go his way.
He would frighten the life out of me with all his thrill seeking
behaviour. Often he would zip himself up in a sleeping bag and throw
himself downstairs repeatedly. My heart would be in my mouth as I would
hear his little body bump, bump, bumping down the stairs. He loved it!
Soon strange ritualistic behaviours began to show. George would hide
his underwear in out of the way places, or throw it in the dustbin. Every
day he would extract his duvet from it's cover, and he started to sleep
either *under* his bed or with his head at the foot* of the bed. His pyjamas
he would wear over, not instead of, his daytime clothes and as one would
imagine, all this was extremely worrying for us.
By 1995, George was eight years old and things had sunk to an all time
low. I felt as if I was teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown as
he had become aggressive, oppositional and violent. His behaviour impacted
on every aspect of our lives. My marriage was suffering, I was in
disagreement with my parents
regarding the way George was turning out and I felt like an old woman.
None of the school children, or teachers for that matter, liked him
and he was in a constant state of frustration because although he was an
intelligent boy, his social skills were severely lacking. He couldn't get
along with his peers and as he was in
constant trouble at school because of his behavioural difficulties
his frustration would make him bang his head against walls in temper.
By chance I happened to hear a radio program discussing a condition
called ADHD and after research I came to realise that this was what was
probably affecting my son. The UK Support group gave
me the name of a paediatrician who I eventually managed to get George
referred to, and he did indeed diagnose George. After this, we managed
to get Special Needs help at school which meant one to one assistance in
class.
Things gradually improved over time and although George's problems are
still severe, we are surviving
and things get easier all the time. We use a number of behavioural
management techniques at home which do alleviate the tension somewhat,
but George's main difficulties are still social in nature.
Since his diagnosis I have dedicated myself to raising awareness about ADHD and it’s impact on family life. in September of 1998 I had a book published entitled “WILD CHILD!” (A Mother, A Son & ADHD) which outlines our struggle and of which I am extremely proud. This year George got a further diagnosis of Asperger syndrome. He has no learning difficulties, in fact his IQ is extremely high (within the top 2% of the population) but socially he still struggles.
These conditions can only be managed; not cured and although sometimes these children's symptoms subside with age, often they remain into adulthood.
Gail Miller is a British Mum to George and Eleanor. Her first non -fiction
book "Wild Child" was published recently and she writes "The ADD/ADHD Gazette"
- a free on - line newsletter accenting the positive side of ADD / ADHD.
You can subscribe at her website
http://www.gailmiller.clara.net or mail her at gailmiller@clara.net
with "subscribe" ADHD in subject or body of message.
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PARENTING TIP OF THE MONTH
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Since we're talking about DEFINING this month, this issue's parenting
tip is to "DEFINE YOUR EXPECTATIONS IN ADVANCE" for your child. For
example, when you're going to the grocery store or to a restaurant or just
plain ole out in public, let your child know EXACTLY what you expect of
them before you go.
Don't tell them that they "better be good". Define what being good means. Maybe it means staying next to you in the store, keeping their hands to themselves and walking rather than running through the aisles. Maybe it means sitting up straight, using their inside voice and eating everything on their plate. Only you can define what being good means. Just be sure to do it and to be specific!
Don't forget to recognize and/or reward the desired behavior as your
child exhibits it. Give them feedback so they know how they're doing
relative to the rules you've established. Allow them to receive your
attention for doing "good". It will make them want to do "good" more
often.
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Visit St. Louis Moms Parenting Resource: A central resource for
parenting information at:
http://www.stlmoms.com
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Looking for Lo Cal, healthy meals to serve your family? Why Be
Fat newsletter is all about healthy cooking and healthy eating. It does
not advocate fad diets, but lifestyle changes that can be done gradually
and will bring about lower weight, more
energy and a longer life. Features include menus,
recipes, kitchen tips, health tips and more. Even in todays fast paced
world converting your family to a healthier lifestyle can be easy when
following the advice in Why Be Fat. Subscribe today at:
http://www.formmail.to/whybefat
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ON KEEPING ROMANCE ALIVE
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Compose a quick, little love note for your partner. It doesn't
have to be on fancy stationary and it only has to be one line or two.
Before he leaves for work and without him knowing it, slip it in his pocket
or his wallet or somewhere where he will be sure to find it during the
day.
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ON PAMPERING YOURSELF
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Clean out your closets--slowly. Take everything out. Read
all your old papers---reminice. Use this as a time, not to clean
your closets to clean them but to rediscover who you are, and to remember
who you were, before a partner, before kids, or just before.
excerpted from: 77 Ways to Pamper Yourself, by JA
Hale, copyright 1999
This month I'd like to include one more idea for pampering yourself. It's an idea I've heard over and over again and it's an idea I've ignored over and over again. A couple of weeks ago I finally tried it and I found it made a HUGE difference in the way I feel.
DRINK PLENTY OF WATER EVERY DAY!!!
I know it's hard to do. I know it's hard to remember. I know it keeps you in the bathroom a lot. But I can't tell you the difference it has made in me!!! I was ALWAYS tired and lethargic---always. I just assumed that it was because, like all moms, I was trying to do too much in a day. Since I have been drinking water, my energy level has picked up. My skin looks and feels better and the frequent headaches I used to have have all but disappeared.
Obviously, if you have any unusual physical symptoms that cause you
discomfort in any way you should see a doctor first, as I did. But
if your doctor can find nothing wrong with you, try water, it can't hurt!
-------------------------------------------------------Holi-Swaps
home exchange and travel site- save money and make new friends by swapping
your home, time share or 2nd home. World Listings, travel and tourist info,
discussion group and more all at:
http://www.holi-swaps.com . "Trading
Places" monthly e-zine tradingplaces-on@holi-swaps.com
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How to be a guest columnist instructions
We LOVE receiving articles from our readers, or
anyone else. Please submit your article about any of "The Balanced
Woman's" topics (i.e. being a wife, mother, employee, chef, housecleaner,
friend) to
jahale95@yahoo.com by the 15th of the month for
inclusion in the next month's newsletter.
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Guest Column: O R G A N
I Z I N G T I P S
Home Management 101
Debbie Williams, copyright 1998
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As a professional organizer, I often hear parents' frustrations about
time management or being disorganized. Most of us are so busy working,
commuting, and carpooling that we just can't find a way to fit everything
into a twenty four hour period. With a bit of help, you can find
ways to manage your home and spend more time with your family.
* Enlist Help- Delegate jobs to other family members. You don't have
to do it all yourself.
* Double Duty- Do two or more things at once: fold clothes while talking
on the phone, file bills or papers while watching tv, etc.
* Beat the Clock - Set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and have everyone
clean up. Competition is a great incentive.
* Block and Tackle - Use 5 or 10 minute time blocks to tackle those
bigjobs
(cleaning closets, attic, basement, kids' rooms). The job will get
done eventually, and you will get a sense of accomplishment each time youwork
on it.
* Ready the Troops- Iron or assemble clothing for an entire week at
a time. Make lunches the night before.
* Clear the Decks - Leave a clean house. Make beds and wash dishes
before you leave for the day. This keeps you from being overwhelmed when
you return.
* Divide and Conquer - Make a "to do list" at the end of each day,
prioritizing with Must Do Today, Must Do This Week, Would Like to DoToday,
etc. This keeps your tasks in perspective.
We tend to forget that the family unit is just that: a unit working
together for a common goal. In this case, your troops can help you establish
a workable organizing system. Be only as organized as you need to
be. Establish a routine that you know your family will use. If you
remember that being organized is an ongoing process, not an end result,
together you can
manage your household and the time that you spend together.
Debbie Williams is the owner and founder of Let's Get it Together: Time
Management and Organizing Solutions forBusyLives. You can visit her
website at: http://www.organizedtimes.com
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OUR FAVORITE LINKS
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Gilbert Guides -- How to information to help you spend less, live better,
and work from home.
<A href="http://www.gilbertguides.com/index.html">Gilbert Guides</a>
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You are cordially invited to subscribe to the FREE
newsletter: "Rob's wURLd | Best of the Web"! It is a
weekly letter featuring family-friendly "Best of the Web" and "Cool-Site"
selections for ALL ages!
You may subscribe for FREE at:
http://RobswURLd.listbot.com/ -On The Web-
OR: mailto:RobswURLd-subscribe@listbot.com
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On the Web
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Parenting advice: Ann Landers
<a href="https://www.angelfire.com/sd/BalancedWoman/parenting.html"></a>
Some Interesting Perspectives:
<a href="https://www.angelfire.com/sd/BalancedWoman/perspective.html"></a>
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DISCLAIMER
The contents herein are solely the opinions of "The Balanced Woman"
editors, and should not be considered as a form of therapy nor advice.
There is no guarantee of validity or accuracy. The Balanced Woman
assumes no responsibility for injury and specifically disclaims any warranty,
express or implied for any products or services mentioned. If expert
assistance or counseling is needed, services of a competent professional
should be sought
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Copyright 1999, JA Hale
Editors Comments:If any of you have any ideas,
comments and suggestions on how we can improve this
e-zine please let me know. Just send an email to:jahale95@yahoo.com
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