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By subscription only! Welcome to another issue of:

                "THE BALANCED WOMAN".

Thanks to all of you who have encouraged your friends to subscribe!  You are important to us.  So rest assured we will NEVER sell or give away your email addresses to anyone!!

We realize that not all of the email programs available can accommodate our size.  So you can also find this issue of The Balanced Woman at: http://www.betweenfriends.vjungle.com/issue31.html

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              IN THIS ISSUE
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       => Welcome
       => Feature Article: "It's Not About You"
       => Household Hint
       => Web Pick
       => Fashion Tips
       => Parenting Tip
       => Classified Ads
       => Pampering Yourself
       => A Little Laughter
       => Site Updates
       => Recommended Resources
       => Recipe of the Month
       => Help Others without Spending a Dime
       => Subscribe/Un subscribe information

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                       WELCOME

It's almost Thanksgiving and I don't know about you but despite all that's been going on in the world today, I have a lot to be thankful for, including one particular friend who made a difference in my life.  You can read all about her in the feature article.

If you have someone in your life who has made a difference, write me and tell me about him/her.  I'd love to print your responses.  It seems like right now we need to hear more about the good people on this earth.  So share your story and if I'm flooded with responses (which I hope I will be) we'll make a contest out of it!

Meanwhile, wanna have some Thanksgiving fun?  Visit this great Thanksgiving site (after you've read the newsletter <grin>). It's very family friendly! http://www.kidsdomain.com/holiday/thanks/

Until next month enjoy this issue!
jackie

PS  Don't forget, our site updates and easy recipe of the month are at the end.

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Feature Article: It's Not About You!
By:  Jacqueline McLaughlin Hale
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My parents had a friend named Norma and over the years that they knew her, she became my friend too.  She died the day before I began to write this.  Like anyone whose life has been touched by terminal cancer, her death was no surprise.  The finality of it all was.

Norma had an infectious wide smile filled with mischief and warmth, one that I can see very clearly now.  She had a hearty laugh and an unparalleled sense of humor that always focused on the silliness in everyday life.  She made me laugh and oh, what a gift that was.

It's the holiday season so this isn't about death and dying.  It's about life and living and that's the way Norma would want it.  This is about making a difference and touching lives the way Norma touched mine.  Because in the end, that's what a balanced life is really all about.

So many of us are so busy all the time.  We're constantly on the run, going from work to soccer practice, to the grocery store to home.  Once there we make dinner, choke it down, hurriedly clear away the mess, demand that our kids do their homework and take baths, clean up around the house, change clothes, prepare for the next day, fall into bed and start all over again.

But, how often in all of that busyness, do we make a difference?  How often do we even think about it?  Do we ever ask a colleague to lunch, just to get to know her better?  Do we take the time to laugh with another parent at soccer practice?  Do we ever give the grocery clerk a warm smile?  When do we prepare dinner with our children while we ask them how their days were and really listen to their answers.  Do we help our neighbors or take them a box of chocolates at Christmas?  Do we know who they are?  Do we even know their names?  We may be busy but are we busy doing things that matter?  Or are we doing things that matter while we're busy?  Busyness does not necessarily equal making a difference.

Touching another life does not have to mean schedules and commitments.  It's a thoughtfulness.  It's a smile to a stranger.  It's picking up something you know someone else needs at the store because you're going there anyway.  It's a quick email to a friend to let them know you're thinking of them.  It's a phone call.  It's 5 or 10 minutes here or there.  It's a card just because.  It's an open ear and a loving heart.

Norma and I only saw each other 3 or 4 times a year.  We didn't call.  We didn't write.  But when I was with her, she made a difference.  It didn't take a lot of time.  It wasn't an event.  It didn't add any more commitments to both of our busy lives.  We had moments here and there.

The last time I saw her, which was a couple of weeks before her death, we talked about her illness; we talked about her family and we talked about ordinary, mundane things.  I complained about the amount of homework my son was receiving from school.  She told me why I was wrong.  Norma was not one to argue with.  In sickness and in health she was feisty, confrontational, "in-your-face" and ever truthful.  And as I was getting up to leave she said to me, "It's not about you, jackie.  Just remember, it's not about you."  I understand what she meant now and she was right.  It's not.

So Norma, I get it.  I finally get it…
 

Jacqueline McLaughlin Hale is a CPA and the editor of Between Friends: Resources for Mothers (http://www.betweenfriends.org) Between Friends contains household hints, time management tips, articles on organization, parenting, money management, career, self employment, self improvement and more!  Subscribe to its FREE monthly ezine, The Balanced Woman.  Visit today!

Webmasters and publishers may use this article in their ezine or website, as long as the *entire*
article is used, and the *copyright notice* and *resource box* are left in tact, including this notice

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            HOUSEHOLD HINT OF THE MONTH

Who wouldn't like to save money, especially this time of year?  LowerMyBills.com can help.

This site searches the Web and compares prices offered in categories such as long distance and wireless phone service, insurance, credit cards, Internet service, and home and auto loans. It sorts the findings for you by price so it's easy to identify the best deal.

In each category, the site also posts a short money-saving tip.

Browse LowerMyBills.com and learn how to take control of your finances today!

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                   WEB PICK!

Do you have one (or two, or three, or four) person on your holiday gift list who is extremely difficult to buy for?  Do you need a few suggestions?  Then you must visit PresentPicker.com.

Input a few variables such as interest, occasion, personality, age, gender and occupation and it will come up with a list of possible gifts for you to choose from!

http://presentpicker.com/ppp/home.html

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Parent like you mean business!  Stop nagging and fighting with your kids!  Get your home running more smoothly than it has ever run before.  Discover a simple, effective and proven system for putting sanity back into your life with the new ebook THE BUSINESS OF MOM!

For a full description and to order your copy securely, visit my Web site at http://www.betweenfriends.org/1.htm

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                   FASHION TIPS

Most women I know define their shapes in terms of size.

*“I’m a size 8.”
*”I lost two dress sizes!”
*”I wish I was a smaller size.”

While this thinking is commonplace in our society, it’s faulty logic to define people by size: Why?

1.  Not all sizes are created equal.
Sizing varies from manufacturer to manufacturer.  What one company calls a size 10 may be somebody else's
idea of a 14.  You've no doubt experienced this phenomenon and  wondered what was going on.  Here's the story:

    *There Are No International Size Standards
Different countries have different units of measure for  clothing.  Even though a manufacturer may attempt to customize  his goods for an intended trade partner, you will find  disparity—even among manufacturers from the same country.  So  a size 10 garment made in China may be India's size 12 and the  United States' size 8.
 
          *Ranges Are More Cost-Effective
It's a simple matter of economics:  it's more cost effective  to offer ranges that encompass a few sizes each (S(4-6), M(8-10), L(12-14), XL(16-18)) than to customize each size  (4,6,8,10,12,14,16,18).

2.  Very few women are a “perfect” size
Very few women—be they accountants, kindergarten teachers,  attorneys or models—have a “perfect figure”—that generally  acknowledged as being a trim, well-proportioned, hour-glass shape.  Some women have larger hips that bust.  Others have larger bust than hips.  Still others have no discernible waist. So what's the lesson?  Shop by FIT, not SIZE.  Use size only as a guideline.

What's My Shape? So if you shop by fit, you first need to understand your body  FRAME in order to find the styles that best suit your particular genetic arrangement.

Depending on your shape, you may be one size on top and another  size on the bottom.  Buy what fits or can
easily be altered to fit— don't let size dictate your sense of self.

You may already know your shape, but if you've never considered  this before, spend a few minutes studying
your naked body in a  mirror.  Are you well proportioned?  Do you buy tops and bottoms in different sizes?  When you put on weight, where does it seem to  appear first?  Hips? Tummy?  All over?

What?  You don't look like a Barbie(TM) doll?  Few women do.  The “average” American woman is 5'4” tall
and weighs 145 pounds.   If Barbie (TM) were a real live woman, she'd be 6' tall, have a  38-22-31 figure
and 4 inch feet.  Basically, an anomaly not found in nature.

Want to know something else?  While the proportioned “hour glass”  shape is often touted as the ideal body
frame, clothing designers tend to make and show their creations on H Framed bodies.  Why?  Because an
H-shape, with its indiscernible waist and long legs, has the least impact on the design line.

Unfortunately, too many women (and teenage girls) mistakenly think that in order to be fashionable, they need to look like models.

Again, it's faulty reasoning.  Why?  Because designers and prospective clients have (or should have) completely different agendas when it comes to fashion:
 
  *The designer uses the body frame that best suit his styles.
  *The client needs to determine which styles best suit her body frame.

Somewhere along the line we went from looking for clothes that suit us to trying to make ourselves suit the clothes.  Wrong thinking. A confident woman understands her body and buys clothes to fit it.  She acknowledges her faults but is also well aware of her assets.

Knowing your assets is one of the keys to dressing well.  Every woman can tell you something she doesn't like about herself.  Your goal is to identify your own assets and learn how to play them up. It could be your eyes or your skin.  It could be your beautiful hands or shapely legs.  Maybe it's your lovely shoulders and firm arms.  Whatever it is, give yourself credit.

Diana Pemberton-Sikes is a wardrobe and image consultant and editor of "Fashion Savvy", a monthly online newsletter dedicated to helping women achieve more success through dress.  You can visit her online at http://www.fashionforrealwomen.com

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            PARENTING TIP OF THE MONTH

If you want your children to help around the house, you've got to make it easy for them.  For example, it's unreasonable to expect a small child to set the dinner table when the plates are in a cupboard high above his head.

Move the plates and glasses down lower and set your child up for success!  Similarly, if you expect your child to empty the garbage, put the fresh garbage bags within her reach.  Make things accessible and watch your child do her chores with less hassle.  When that happens, everybody wins!

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                Pampering Yourself

Bake cookies; eat the batter!

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               A Little Laughter

Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm.

He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?"

His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny."

Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!"

From:  http://www.cleanjokespage.com/tm.html

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Site Updates...http://www.betweenfriends.org

Please stop by and cast your vote at our completely anonymous site poll, if you haven't yet.  This month's poll asks:

Do you feel pressed for time?  While there, you'll also find the results of the previous poll at http://www.betweenfriends.org/poll.html

   Take a look at our newest articles on the web:

"Surviving the Holidays"
https://www.angelfire.com/sd/BalancedWoman/holidays.html

"Holiday Gift Giving Ideas"
http://betweenfriends.vjungle.com/giftgiving.html

(If you have liked what you've read, please forward this newsletter to friends or family members who you think might enjoy it!  It might encourage them to subscribe.  Thanks!)

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             RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

         THE WHAT'S FOR DINNER COOKBOOK
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1001 Beauty and Weight Loss Tips, Homemade Skin Care and Hair Care Recipes and More!  http://hop.clickbank.net/hop.cgi?jahale/penny

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     RECIPE OF THE MONTH:  SPICY MEATLOAF from
           THE WHAT'S FOR DINNER COOKBOOK
 http://hop.clickbank.net/hop.cgi?jahale/recipeclub

1 tbsp. butter
1 egg, beaten
1 medium onion, chopped
1 tsp. ground cumin
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
3 slices stale white bread 1 tsp. salt
1/2 c. milk 1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 lb. hamburger 2 tbsp. ketchup
1/2 lb. ground pork

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt butter in skillet. Saute onion and garlic until soft. In a small bowl, soak bread with milk and break bread into crumbs. In a large bowl, mix together meats, onion, garlic, bread with milk, and remaining ingredients. Mix well and shape into a loaf. Place in a loaf pan and bake for 1 hour.
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        HELP OTHERS WITHOUT SPENDING A DIME

Visit a college student's website to help her win a scholarship.  Remember, all you have to do is click and browse, you don't have to buy a thing (hits improve her ranking):  http://library.thinkquest.org/C0112643/english/main.php

The Hunger Site is back!  Click here and you will feed a hungry person.  It doesn't cost you anything! http://www.thehungersite.com

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                    Disclaimer

The appearance of advertising in The Balanced Woman should not be interpreted as an endorsement by the editors of the service, product, business, or program being advertised.  We take no responsibility for claims or representations made in any ads.  The Balanced Woman is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  The ideas and information expressed in it have not been approved or authorized by anyone either explicitly or implicitly.  In no event shall Jacqueline McLaughlin Hale be liable for any damages whatsoever resulting from any action arising in connection with the use of this information or its publication, including any action for infringement of copyright or defamation.  The opinions expressed by our columnists are not necessarily the position of The Balanced Woman.

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Copyright 1999, 2000, 2001 JA Hale
Editor's Comments: If any of you have any ideas, comments and suggestions on how we can improve this e-zine please let me know.  Just send an email to: jahale95@yahoo.com

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