With Mother's Day just around the corner, I caught myself thinking about and questioning what being a mother means to me. I found I could not get it off my mind and so I spent many days and restless nights thinking of nothing else. When all was said and done I was left with many answers to questions I never even asked. What I discovered was startling.

Motherhood, I concluded, is really all about me!

Surprising isn't it? It surprised me too. After all motherhood is about putting aside your needs for the needs of others. Motherhood is about nurturing others. Motherhood is about cooking for others; it's about laundering for others and chauffeuring others. Others, others, others! Where in all of this is ME, ME, ME?

The "me" in motherhood began before my son was even born, when I dreamed about the kind of person that I wanted to raise. I knew I wanted to raise a "good boy" but what did a "good boy" mean to me? Did it mean someone who would be considerate of others or did it mean someone who would stay out of trouble? Did it mean someone who would excel at academics or someone who would excel at athletics? Did it mean someone who would be a leader or someone who would march to his own drum? Did it mean someone who would put the needs of others before his own or someone who would honor his own needs as much as he would honor those of others? Would he be raised in the religion in which I was brought up or would he be raised without religion at all? Raising a "good boy" isn't easy. Defining a "good boy" is even harder. But I knew I couldn't "raise" until I had defined. So, I had to question my own beliefs and values. I had to define them and become more familiar with them than I ever had before. Me, me, me.

The "me" in motherhood continued as my son grew, when I discovered that he would learn more by watching me than he would by listening to what I said. I came to realize that I had to set the example. As a result I began to analyze my own behavior constantly. I made a habit of asking myself if what I did was consistent with what I said were my beliefs and values. I questioned if I would want my son doing whatever it was that I was doing. I had to change my behavior to truly "walk my talk".

If I wanted my son to be caring, I had to be caring. If I wanted him to be respectful of others, I had to be respectful of him. If I wanted him to be compassionate, I had to show compassion. If I wanted him to be open to others, I had to stop being judgmental. If I wanted him to take risks, I had to take risks. If I wanted him to be courageous, I had to show him courage. If I wanted him to be loving, I had to be loving. Me, me, me.

The "me" in motherhood will continue as he grows and pursues his independence. Once again, I'll have to take a look at my own past experiences and the fears I acquired. He'll make sure I do this every time he gets into trouble, every time he breaks the rules, every time he makes choices that I would not make. Which broken rules will upset me the most? Which choices will I have the most trouble with? Which infractions will result in the greatest punishment? Only my own insecurities, fears and experiences will hold the answers.

Finally, the me in motherhood exists everyday in the whole buffet of emotions that motherhood invokes. It has caused me to feel great frustration, unbelievable fear, incredible anger, indescribable joy, infinite happiness and pure, unconditional, and amazing love. It has prompted me to know myself better and more deeply than I ever have before. It has caused me to make great changes. It has brought out both the best and the worst of who I am.

Who I am is the child who was molded and shaped by my parents. Who I am is the adult who determined who I would be. Who I am is a mother who evaluated who I became.

So you see, Motherhood really is all about me. It's about continuously improving myself to set the right example for my son. If I do my job well, he'll be a better person than I could ever hope to be. And someday, he will be part of this same process. Darwin called it evolution. Some call it progress. Others call it the circle of life. I call it love…Happy Mother's Day…

Jacqueline McLaughlin Hale is a CPA and the editor of Between Friends: Living Life Your Way (http://www.betweenfriends.org) Between Friends is a website dedicated to helping you balance your responsibilities so that you can make more time for yourself. It does this by providing tips, tricks and tools for household hints, parenting, budgeting, self-improvement and more! It also offers a FREE monthly ezine: The Balanced Woman. Subscribe by sending a blank email to TheBalancedWoman-subscribe@onelist.com or visit the website today!