Yes. I know we should be doing a new Depths of Heck this edition, but we're giving this feature an overhaul. Expect the new-look DoH ready for issue 10.
Spam Depths of heck! |
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Key
----- = No! ----- = Yes! ----- = What? |
This month's nomination for the Depths of Heck is, Junk e-mail!
I got an offer to take part in a prize draw. I wasn't really interested, and when I
spotted the
disclaimers. I worked out it would not be worth my time responding. I didn't mind though,
the
company making the offer were kind enough to pay for the paper, envelope and postage. It
cost
me the space in my bin, which wasn't worth much anyway.
A similar offer arrived in my email box today. I was just as uninterested, but this time
it cost me money. That is why junk-email is different, and deserves to be vast down in
the Depths of Heck.
Let's have a look at some junk email, picked entirely at random from my mail box;
Subject: $ Earn money taste-testing chewing gum $ Research company seeks individuals to evaluate chewing gum samples.
For more information, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to:
Or, check us out on the Internet at [SNIP] for more information and to apply electronically. |
Wow! A job tasting chewing gum! If I can earn a maximum of $1000 a week, that's 100 samples! A lot of chewing. I wonder if they know that international postal laws do not allow the mailing of food stuffs?
Here's another...
Subject: Your Water could be Killing You!!
Do you have or are you considering a traditional water softener for your home or
business?
The American Heart Association indicates that water softened with salt, and other chemicals, has Sodium TOXIC Residue in Water and can cause an elevated sodium level, which has been linked to a variety of other health problems, including high blood pressure, water retention, gall bladder disease and goiters. What is your alternative?
For a FREE report, Hit reply and replace subject with [ more info ]. Offended?? Sorry,
|
First of all, I doubt that there are people who remove water chalk by adding salt.
More likely, they use a filter.
Besides, if anyone is interested, no simple pre-prepared
reposnse method for them! If you want more info, you have to reply, and change the
subject to a "[", followed by three (that's three) spaces, the words "more info",
another three (that's three) spaces and a "]". Simple eh!
Now we see the delights of name removal. This is not a SPAM! Yes it is!
It may interest you to know that I have created myself an email address and the only thing I
did was to mail as many removal addresses as I could find. That address would not be on any
of the junk mailer's lists, because it had never existed before. Guess what... I got junk
mail.
What that really should say is...
If you want us to remove your name from our lists, send a blank message to remove@remove-me.com, and we will roll about the office laughing at you.
So, to all junk mailers everywhere, welcome to the Depths of Heck motel, room 15. If you do not wish to be here, just send a blank email to remove@depths-of-heck.org and we will ignore you.
Voting for this and last month's depths of heck has closed. The results of this vote will be coming here soon. | |
Yes. Microsoft are the depths of heck. | 78% |
No. Microsoft are cute, fluffy bunnies who deserve to be loved. | 8% |
Who are microsoft? | 14% |