THE EMOTIONS UNDER ATTACK

JULY 25, 1999

Anger is a basic human emotion that serves an important survival function by communicating to ourselves and to others that something is wrong. Because we learn how to express anger, we also can learn how to manage it. This is particularly important for anyone who handles anger inappropriately- by hurting others or themselves or by making poor decisions in fits of rage.

Domestic abuse, road rage, workplace violence, divorce, and addiction are just a few examples of what happens when anger is mismanaged.

WE CAN ASCERTAIN FROM THESE FEW SCRIPTURES THAT IT IS GOD’S WILL FOR YOU TO CONTROL OR MANAGE YOUR ANGER. WE HAVE DISCUSSED 11 STEPS FOR HANDLING ANGER AND THIS MORNING I WANT TO LOOK AT SOME THINGS YOU AND I CAN DO TO PREVENT ANGER IN OUR DAILY LIVES. HOW MANY OF YOU KNOW THAT IF THERE IS LESS ANGER TO DEAL WITH THEN YOUR HANDLING ANGER IN YOUR LIFE.

IF YOU WANT TO GROW AND BECOME EMOTIONALLY MATURE AND ABLE TO HANDLE ANGER WHEN IT ARISES, THEN THERE IS WORK THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE TO PREPARE FOR IT. YOUR UNRESOLVED ANGER IS STORED IN A BANK ACCOUNT IN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND WAITING TO BE RELEASED. IN ORDER TO PROPERLY MANAGE YOUR ANGER YOUR UNRESOLVED ANGER FUND NEEDS TO BE REDUCED OF ANY BALANCES THAT MAY HAVE ACCUMULATED OVER YOUR LIFETIME. ALSO, THERE ARE A NUMBER OF OTHER THINGS THAT MUST BE DONE AND A NUMBER OF AREAS OF YOUR LIFE THAT MUST BE RE-EVALUATED SO THAT YOU CAN RESPOND IN A MATURE WAY IN CONFLICT SITUATIONS. DEALING WITH YOUR ANGER IN THE QUIET PERIODS WHEN YOU ARE NOT ANGRY DECREASES THE FREQUENCY, THE INTENSITY AND THE INAPPROPRIATENESS OF YOUR ANGER.

PEOPLE WHO HAVE A POSITIVE PURSUIT IN THEIR LIVES HAVE LESS TIME AND REASON TO BE ANGRY THAN PEOPLE WHO ARE STUCK IN THE MUD AND LIVING IN THE PAST. BEFORE YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD IN THE REALIZATION OF GOD’S PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIVES YOU MUST BE WILLING TO LET GO OF THE PAST:

HERE AGAIN, WE MUST FORGET THE PAST WITH ALL ITS HURTS, IRRITATIONS AND DISAPPOINTMENTS IF WE WANT TO FINISH OUR COURSE AND DESTINY IN CHRIST. YOU CAN’T LIVE YOUR LIFE LOOKING BACKWARDS ALL THE TIME. YOU MUST KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE GOAL FOR THE PRIZE OF THE HIGH CALLING OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS. THE PERSON WHO IS PROGRESSING FORWARD TOWARDS PERSONAL GOALS IS LESS LIKELY TO BE JEALOUS OF ANOTHER PERSON’S SUCCESS, WHICH OFTEN MANIFESTS ITSELF IN ANGER. IF YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW TO MANAGE ANGER THEN YOU MUST HAVE MEANINGFUL AND CONSTRUCTIVE GOALS FOR BOTH YOUR WORK AND YOUR LEISURE TIME. THE FIRST WAY TO HANDLE YOUR ANGER IS TO MAINTAIN A PURPOSEFUL LIFE.

2. THE SECOND WAY YOU CAN PREPARE YOURSELF TO MEET THE CHALLENGES OF TOMORROW’S ANGER IS TO MAINTAIN GOOD HEALTH HABITS. WHEN WE ARE TIRED WE ARE MORE PRONE TO SNAP AT OTHERS AND TO OVERREACT TO THE SMALL THINGS THAT IRRITATE US. WHEN WE ARE TIRED OUR TOLERANCE FOR PRESSURE AND NEW PROBLEMS IS DEFINITELY LOWERED. PROPER DIET, REST, RELAXATION AND EXERCISE ARE ALSO ESSENTIAL IN PREPARING FOR ANGER. OTHER MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS SUCH AS KEEPING DOWN EXCESSIVE NOISE AND CLUTTER IN OUR BACKGROUNDS SHOULD ALSO BE IMPLEMENTED.

3. THE THIRD WAY THAT WE CAN PREPARE FOR ANGER IS TO HAVE AND MAINTAIN A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. OUR UNCONFESSED SIN STILL CREATE A BARRIER BETWEEN US AND GOD. WHEN WE CONFESS OUR SIN OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD WILL BE HEALED, ENHANCED AND OPTIMIZED. WHEN WE REALIZE ALL THAT GOD HAS DONE FOR US IN SPITE OF ALL THE HURT WE HAVE CAUSED TO OTHERS AND TO GOD HIMSELF IT CAN’T HELP BUT MAKE YOU MORE TOLERANT AND MERCIFUL. MERCY MEANS YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU DESERVE AND WHEN GOD FORGIVES US HE CHOOSES NOT TO GIVE US THE JUDGEMENT WE DESERVE FOR OUR OWN PERSONAL SINS. THIS SHOULD RESULT IN OUR WILLINGNESS TO FORGIVE OTHERS WHO SIN AGAINST US AND SOFTEN OUR TENDENCY TO BE ANGRY AT OTHERS FOR HURTING US. ALSO WHEN WE SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH GOD IN PRAYER, WORSHIP AND THE READING OF HIS WORD HE CAN HELP CLARIFY AREAS IN OUR LIVES THAT NEED WORKING ON AND CAN BETTER PREPARE US TO HANDLE CONFLICT WHEN IT ARISES.

WHEN WE ARE INCONSISTENT, COMPROMISED AND CARNAL IN OUR CHRISTIAN WALK WE ARE MORE PRONE TO ANGER. I HAVE NOTICED WHEN I AM OUT OF FELLOWSHIP WITH GOD THAT MY TOLERANCE LEVEL DECREASES AND MY ABILITY TO MAKE RIGHT DECISIONS IS GREATLY HINDERED. BUT THOSE THAT WAIT UPON THE LORD SHALL RENEW THEIR STRENGTH. WHEN WE WAIT ON GOD BY READING HIS WORD AND PRAYER WE REGAIN THE STRENGTH WE USED FOR YESTERDAY’S CHALLENGES. A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THIS IN THE SCRIPTURE IS BALAAM.

BALAAM WANTED TO GO WHERE GOD WASN’T LEADING HIM FOR PERSONAL GAIN. SO GOD ALLOWED BALAAM’S DONKEY TO IRRITATE HIM WHICH CAUSED BALAAM TO PAUSE AND GET ANGRY WITH HIS DONKEY. BALAAAM FAILED TO SEE THAT THE HAND OF GOD WAS BEHIND THIS SITUATION AND TRYING TO WARN HIM. BALAAM IS SO ANGRY THAT HE FINDS HIMSELF TALKING TO HIS DONKEY AND DOESN’T EVEN RECOGNIZE THAT THE DONKEY IS TALKING BACK TO HIM. I BELIEVE THAT GOD CAN USES THE DONKEYS OF HURTS, DISAPPOINTMENTS AND SUFFERING TO SPEAK TO OUR LIVES TO GIVE DIRECTION AND CONVICTION OF PERSONAL SIN AND FAILURE IN OUR LIVES TO BRING US TO A PLACE OF REPENTANCE. IF WE DON’T GET THE MESSAGE WE MAY END UP JUST GETTING ANGRY AT EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING, INCLUDING GOD.

ONE OF THE MAJOR AREAS WHERE WE CAN LEARN TO PREVENT ANGER IS LEARNING TO EVALUATE OUR RIGHTS AND EXPECTATIONS. I WILL SPEND THE REMAINDER OF OUR TIME DISCUSSING THIS AREA TODAY. LET ME DEFINE THE TERMINOLOGY:

TO EXPECT MEANS TO WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, TO LOOK FOR AS LIKELY TO OCCUR AND SO TO LOOK FORWARD TO AND TO ANTICIPATE; TO LOOK FOR AS DUE, PROPER OR NECESSARY AND THEN TO ASSUME OR PRESUME.

THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE THAT TEACH THAT WE HAVE NO RIGHTS AND THAT WE SHOULD LIVE TO SERVE OTHERS AND BE WILLING TO DO WHATEVER THEY ASK OF US QUOTING THIS PASSAGE WE JUST READ IN MATT.5. THEY SEE THE CHRISTIAN LIFE AS ONE OF TOTAL SUBMISSION IN WHICH WE TAKE WHATEVER COMES OUR WAY AND NEVER OFFER ANY RESISTANCE. THE IMPLICATION OF THIS TEACHING IN TERMS OF ANGER IS THAT IF WE EXPECT NOTHING FROM LIFE OR FROM OTHERS, WE WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED AND ANGRY WHEN WE SUFFER ADVERSITY AND MISFORTUNE.

I BELIEVE THAT IT NORMAL TO HAVE CERTAIN RIGHTS AND EXPECTATIONS. IN FACT, I WOULD GO SO FAR AS TO SAY THAT IF WE REALLY LIVED AS THOUGH WE HAD NO RIGHTS WE WOULD BE POOR STEWARDS OF ALL THAT GOD HAS GIVEN TO US AND WOULD PROBABLY DIE IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. THERE ARE ALWAYS PEOPLE WHO HAVE GREATER NEEDS THAN OURS, AND IF WE BELIEVE WE HAVE NO RIGHTS, WE WILL GIVE AWAY EVERYTHING WE HAVE TO THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE MORE NEEDY THAN WE ARE. I DO AGREE THAT IF WE REALLY BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE NO RIGHTS AND EXPECTATIONS THAT MUCH OF OUR ANGER PROBLEM CAN BE RESOLVED. HOWEVER, DEALING WITH THE ENTIRE ANGER PROBLEM IN THIS WAY IS VERY NAÏVE.

ON THE OTHER HAND, THERE IS NO QUESTION THAT INAPPROPRIATE RIGHTS AND EXPECTATIONS ARE A MAJOR CAUSE OF PROBLEMS FOR MANY PEOPLE. I THINK THIS IS WHERE THE NEED FOR BALANCE COMES IN. WE NEED TO EVALUATE WHAT EXPECTATIONS AND RIGHTS ARE LEGITIMATE OR NOT. THE FACT IS THAT PEOPLE GET ANGRY IF WHAT THEY CONCLUDE TO BE THEIR RIGHTS ARE NOT SATISFIED OR IF THEIR EXPECTATIONS ARE NOT MET.

WE RECENTLY PURCHASED A DEVICE TO REMOVE THE COVER FROM OUR SWIMMING POOL TO MAXIMIZE IT USE. NOW WHENEVER I PUT THE COVER ON I ROLL IT UP WHEN I WANT TO SWIM AND EXPECT THAT EVERYONE ELSE IN MY FAMILY WOULD DO THE SAME THING. SO WHEN THEY DON’T, I GET A LITTLE UPSET AND INSIST THAT THEY DO IT THE RIGHT AWAY. IS MY EXPECTATION WRONG OR SHOULD I LET THEM DO WHATEVER THEY WANT TO DO REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THE LONGEVITY OF THE POOL COVER IS DIMINISHED. NOW THE PROBLEM I HAD WAS THAT I ASSUMED THAT MY EXPECTATIONS WERE UNDERSTOOD AND PERCEIVED BY ALL. AS IN MY CASE, VERY OFTEN THESE RIGHTS AND EXPECTATIONS HAVE NEVER BEEN PUT INTO WORDS. WHEN WE DO EXPRESS OUR RIGHTS AND EXPECTATIONS WE CAN PREVENT THESE ANGRY SITUATIONS. THE MORE RIGHTS AND EXPECTATIONS WE HAVE THE MORE THINGS WE HAVE TO GET ANGRY ABOUT AND IN THIS CASE I MAY NEED TO SET SOME PREDEFINED LIMITS OF BEHAVIOR.

EVERY TIME YOU GET HURT, ANGRY, FRUSTRATED OR DIS-APPOINTED, SOME CONTRACT, RIGHT OR EXPECTATION THAT YOU HOLD ONTO IS BEING VIOLATED. LET ME ILLUSTRATE. EVERY PERSON ENTERING INTO A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP, WHETHER AT HOME, AT WORK OR WITHIN NAY GROUP WHERE PEOPLE ARE WORKING CLOSELY TOGETHER, HAS AT LEAST 3 LEVELS OF EXPECTATIONS.

1. AT THE FIRST LEVEL THERE ARE EXPRESSED EXPECTATIONS: THESE ARE THE EXPECTATIONS THAT ARE CLEARLY DEFINED BETWEEN YOU AND THE OTHER PERSON. THESE MAY BE WRITTEN DOWN BUT MOST OFTEN THEY ARE VERBALIZED.

2. AT THE SECOND LEVEL ARE THE UNEXPRESSED BUT CONSCIOUS EXPECTATIONS. THESE ARE THE EXPECTATIONS THAT HAVE BEEN CONSCIOUSLY CONCLUDED IN YOUR OWN MIND BUT WHICH HAVE NEVER BEEN EXPRESSED VERBALLY. ONE OF THE REASON FOR THIS IS THAT THE PERSON FEARS THE DISAPPROVAL OR REJECTION OF OTHERS OR THAT IT IS TOO DIFFICULT FOR THE PERSON TO EXPRESS HIS FEELINGS. IN SOME CASES THESE EXPECTATIONS MAY NOT EVEN BE CLEAR ENOUGH IN A PERSON’S MIND TO EXPRESS THEM.

3. AT THE THIRD LEVEL THERE ARE UNCONSCIOUS EXPECTATIONS WHICH ARE NOT CLEARLY DEFINED EVEN TO YOURSELF BUT ARE JUST AS REAL AND HAVE THE POTENTIAL FOR EXPRESSING ANGER WHEN THEY RE VIOLATED.

HERE PAUL OFFERS US SOME PRACTICAL INSIGT IN MARRIAGE BUT HOW MANY OF YOU KNOW THAT EACH PERSON ENTERING INTO A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP AND ESPECIALLY MARRIAGE, HAS THESE 3 LEVELS OF EXPECTATIONS. THIS GIVES MUCH OPPORTUNITY FOR HURT, IRRITATION, FRUSTRATION, DISAPPOINTMENT AND ANGER TO DEVELOP. ONE OF THE GAMES THAT IS PLAYED IN THESE CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS IS WHAT I WILL CALL, THE HIDDEN TEST OF EXPECTANCY. IT GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS. THE BUTTON IS MISSING FROM MY TAN PANTS. I KNOW MY WIFE IS AWARE OF THIS BECAUSE SHE HAPPENED TO NOTICE THAT IT WAS OFF A WEEK AGO AND COMMENTED ON IT. I KNOW SHE IS VERY BUSY BUT A WEEK HAS GONE BY AND THE BUTTON IS STILL MISSING. I REASON, THAT IF SHE REALLY LOVED ME SHE WOULD KNOW THAT I WANT TO WEAR THOSE PANTS AGAIN AND WOULD HAVE FIXED IT WITHOUT MY HAVING TO BRING IT TO HER ATTENTION. IN FACT, I SAY TO MY SELF, I’LL SEE HOW MUCH SHE REALLY LOVES ME BY WAITING TO SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES HER TO FIX MY PANTS. ANOTHER WEEK PASSES AND ONE DAY SHE COMMENTS THAT I HAVEN’T WORN THOSE PANTS FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS. I CASUALLY REPLY THAT I’VE BEEN WEARING DIFFERENT COLOR CLOTHES THAT DIDN’T MATCH WITH THEM. BUT WHEN I GET IN THE CAR TO DRIVE TO WORK I START TO GET QUITE IRRITATED AD ANGRY BECAUSE SHE HAS FAILED MY TEST OF EXPECTANCY BY NOT HAVING SEWED ON THAT BUTTON YET. NOW, IT NOT TOO DIFFICULT TO SEE HOW DESTRUCTIVE THIS SORT OF GAME IS AND YET WE DO IT ALL THE TIME. I BELIEVE THAT IF WE REALLY CARE ABOUT THESE CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS WE NEED TO STOP PLAYING THOSE KINDS OF GAMES. WHEN SOMETHING IS IMPORTANT TO US WE MUST VERBALLY SHARE OUR FEELINGS, DESIRES AND EXPECTATIONS.

HOW CAN A PERSON DETERMINE WHETHER HE HAS A LOT OF RIGHTS AND EXPECTATIONS? THE BEST WAY IS TO LIST ALL THE THINGS THAT TEND TO UPSET OR IRRITATE YOU OR MAKE YOU ANGRY. NY TAKING A GOOD LOOK AT EACH ITEM ON THE LIST YOU CAN USUALLY FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR EXPECTATIONS ARE AND WHETHER THE ARE LEGITIMATE OR NOT. I BELIEVE THAT ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO PREVENT HURT AND ANGER IS TO CHANGE YOUR INAPPROPRIATE AND UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE A TRULY HONEST AND OPEN RELATIONSHIP IS TO EVALUATE YOU RIGHTS AND EXPECTATIONS AND THEN VERBALLY EXPRESS THEM TO EVERYBODY INVOLVED. THOSE THAT ARE NOT MUTUALLY AGREED ON MUST BE REJECTED OR ELSE TROUBLE WILL BE INEVITABLE. IT WOULD BE LIKE TWO PEOPLE PLAYING A GAME WHEN ONLY ONE OF THEM KNOWS THE RULES. IN THESE CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS WE MUST FIND A WAY TO EXPRESS OUR EXPECTATIONS AS WELL AS OUR NEEDS, WISHES AND DESIRES. SO MUCH HURT COMES FROM RELATIONSHIP WHERE THESE THINGS ARE NOT OPENLY SHARED AND UNDERSTOOD. THE DIFFICULTY WE HAVE IN DOING THIS IS THAT WE HAVE CONCLUDED IN OUR MINDS THAT NICE PEOPLE DON’T TALK ABOUT THEIR RIGHTS OR EXPECTATIONS BECAUSE IT IS BEING TOO SELFISH AND SELF CENTERED. BUT I WOULD SUGGEST THAT WITHHOLDING YOUR DESIRES CREATES MORE HAVOC THAN HONESTLY EXPRESSING THEM WHEN THE NEED ARISES.

IN THE AREA OF WORK RELATIONSHIPS IT IS CRUCIAL THAT EXPECTATIONS BE EXPRESSED AND THAT SETTING LIMITS OF BEHAVIOR BE ENFORCED WHEN THOSE EXPECTATIONS ARE NOT MET. AND, OF COURSE THE CONSEQUENCES FOR NOT MEETING THOSE EXPECTATIONS MUST BE PREDETERMINED AND UNDERSTOOD BY EVERYONE. IF YOU WILL ADOPT THIS IN YOUR WORK PLACE IT WILL HAVE A TREMENDOUS PREVENTATIVE EFFECT IN DEALING WITH ANGER.

ANOTHER AREA OF EXPECTATIONS THAT WE MUST COME TO TERMS WITH IS THAT SOMETIMES WE EXPECT TOO MUCH OF OURSELVES. WE DON’T CONSCIOUSLY TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THAT WE ARE JUST HUMAN BEINGS WITH A LOT OF LIMITATIONS. THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO EXPECT TO GET STRAIGHT "A’S" IN SCHOOL. OTHERS DEMAND THAT THEIR HOUSE IS IMMACULATE AND OTHERS HAVE THE NEED TO LOOK LIKE A MODEL ALL THE TIME. THIS PROBLEM CAN EXPRESS ITSELF IN THE FORM OF OVEREXTENDING OURSELVES BY TRYING TO CRAM TOO MUCH INTO ONE DAY. THEN, WHEN WE CAN’T ACCOMPLISH THESE THINGS WE BECOME ANGRY WITH OURSELVES OR WITH WHATEVER INTERFERS WITH OUR SCHEDULE. THERE ARE OTHER TIMES WHEN WE HAVE THE NEED TO PLEASE OTHERS AND WHEN THEIR EXPECTATIONS BECOME TOO DIFFICULT OR IMPOSSIBLE TO MEET WE BECOME ANGRY WITH OURSELVES OR THEM. OFTEN THIS PROBLEM HAS ITS ROOTS IN FEELINGS OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM, FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY OR FEELINGS OF INSECURITY.

NOW, PLEASE LET ME DISCUSS ONE OTHER AREA OF EXPECTATIONS THIS MORNING. WE NEED TO LEARN TO EXPECT THE RIGHT THINGS FROM GOD.

IT IS GOOD AND PROPER FOR US TO HAVE BIBLICAL EXPECTA-TIONS FROM THE LORD. BUT HOW MANY OF YOU KNOW THAT OUR CARNAL DESIRES CAN OFTEN CREEP INTO OUR EXPECTATIONS THAT ARE CONTRARY TO THE ETERNAL PURPOSES OF GOD. WHEN THAT HAPPENS GOD IS NOT OBLIGATED TO FULFILL THOSE EXPECTATIONS AND WE CAN BECOME DISCOURAGED, DEPRESSED, APATHETIC AND DISILLUSIONED. THE SAME THING CAN HAPPEN TO HONEST AND SINCERE PEOPLE WHO ARE EXPECTING GOD TO HEAL THEIR LOVED ONE WHO DIES FROM SOME INCURABLE DISEASE, OR THE PERSON WHO LOST HIS JOB OR HAS HAD A FINANCIAL REVERSAL BUT WERE EXPECTING GOD TO COME THROUGH FOR THEM. THESE PEOPLE OFTEN FEEL ANGRY WITH GOD, RESENTFUL, BITTER AND DEPRESSED. WHAT DO WE DO IF WE FIND OURSELVES ACTING OF FEELING THIS WAY. THE FIRST THING YOU MUST DO IS TO BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELING FOR IT IS CERTAINLY MUCH BETTER TO BE HONEST THAN TO DENY THEIR EXISTENCE AND REPRESS THEM. WHEN WE ARE HONEST WITH GOD WE ARE OPEN AND UP FRONT IN OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AND WILL ALLOW HIM TO REVEAL TO US HIS ETERNAL PURPOSES AND PLANS FOR OUR LIVES. JOSEPH TOLD THE BROTHERS THAT SOLD HIM INTO SLAVERY: YOU MEANT THIS FOR EVIL BUT GOD MEANT THIS FOR GOOD WHEN HE DELIVERED HIS FAMILY OUT OF A 7 YEAR FAMINE. HOW MANY OF YOU KNOW THAT HIND SIGHT IS OFTEN BETTER THAN FORESIGHT.

THERE WERE MANY MEN IN THE BIBLE WHO HAD GREAT EXPECTATIONS FROM THE LORD BUT BECAME VERY ANGRY AT GOD WHEN THOSE EXPECTATIONS WERE NOT MET. MEN LIKE JERAMIAH, JONAH, HABAKKUK, JOB AND DAVID JUST TO MENTION A FEW. AND THEN OF COURSE WE HAVE THE CLASSIC UNFULFILLED EXPECTATION OF THE ELDER BROTHER IN THE PARABLE OF THE PRODIGAL SON IN:

HERE WE SEE THAT THE ELDER SON WAS VERY ANGRY AND SULKING OUTSIDE THE PARTY WITH SELF-PITY. WE ALSO SEE THAT THE FATHER DOES LEAVE HIM IN THAT STATE BUT COMES TO HIM AND INITIATES A DIALOGUE. WHEN WE ARE OPEN AND HONEST BEFORE GOD HE WILL COMMUNICATE HIS HIGHER PURPOSES FOR NOT MEETING OUR EXPECTATION. WHEN WE ARE HONEST WITH GOD ABOUT OUR ANGER FOR UNFULFILLED EXPECTATIONS HE CAN REVEAL TO US HIS WILL AND HELP US DISCERN WHAT EXPECTATIONS ARE APPROPRIATE AND INAPPROPRIATE AS IN THE CASE OF THIS ELDER BROTHER.

MY CONCLUSION ABOUT EXPECTATIONS IS THAT WE MUST CONTINUALLY EVALUATE WHETHER OUR EXPECTATIONS ARE RIGHT OR WRONG, APPROPRIATE OR INAPPROPRIATE. WHEN WE ARE ABLE TO COME TO TERMS WITH OUR INAPPROPRIATE EXPECTATION WE MUST SURRENDER THEM TO GOD. OFTEN WHEN THIS HAPPENS THEY ARE PURIFIED AND GOD IS FREE TO MEET THAT NEED. A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THIS IS KING NAAMAN WHO EXPECTED THAT GOD WOULD HEAL HIS LEPROSY BY SOME POMPOUS CEREMONY. WHEN HE WAS WILLING TO GIVE UP HIS EXPECTATIONS AND DIP IN THE MUDDY JORDAN RIVER 7 TIMES HE WAS INSTANTLY HEALED. OR WE COULD MENTION JOB WHO SURRENDERED HIS "RIGHTS" OR EXPECTATIONS AND LATER RECEIVED BACK TWICE AS MUCH AS HE HAD ENJOYED PREVIOUSLY. WE HAVE TO STOP PLAYING GOD AND ALLOW HIM TO WORK ALL THINGS TOGETHER FOR GOOD IN OUR LIVES AND THIS IS HARD TO DO UNTIL YOU ARE IN TOTAL, UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER TO GOD.

THERE ARE SEVERAL MORE WAYS THAT WE CAN PREVENT ANGER THAT I WANT TO QUICKLY MENTION BEFORE I CLOSE THIS MORNING. WE MUST LEARN TO ACCEPT THE FACTS OF LIFE BECAUSE A LOT OF THINGS IN LIFE DON’T SEEM FAIR. WHEN WE COMPARE OURSELVES TO OTHER PEOPLE WE WILL SURELY COME SHORT. GOD HAS NOT CREATED US WITH ABSOLUTE EQUALITY. TO ONE HE GAVE 1 TALENT, TO ANOTHER HE GAVE 2 TALENTS AND TO ANOTHER HE GAVE 5 TALENTS, EACH MAN ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY. WE HAVE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF APTITUDE AND ABILITY WHICH DETERMINES WHETHER OUR EXPECTATIONS ARE INAPPROPRIATE OR NOT. ANOTHER AREA THAT WE NEED TO OVERCOME IS FEELINGS OF INFERIORITY OR INADEQUACY THAT CAN PRODUCE A LOT OF ANGER AND JEALOUSY IN OUR LIVES. THE LAST THING WE CAN DO TO PREVENT ANGER IS TO SIMPLY AVOID AGGRAVATING SITUATIONS.

PAUL PUT IT THIS WAY I COR.15:26 EVIL COMMUNICATIONS CORRUPT GOOD MANNERS. WE MUST AVOID PEOPLE AND SITUATIONS WHICH ARE PRONE TO ANGER. WORKING WITH AN ANGRY AND UNREASONABLE BOSS MAY TAKE A HARD LOOK AT EITHER CHANGING OURSELVES OR THE RELATIONSHIP AND IF NEITHER OF THESE IS FEASIBLE, WE MAY AVE TO CHANGE JOBS.

ONE THING I DO KNOW FOR SURE AND THAT IS THAT IT IS GOD’S WILL FOR YOU TO BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AND DESTINY AND NOT TO JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE BY DEFAULT BUT BY HIS DESIGN AND PURPOSE. GOD WANTS YOU AND I TO GROW UP AND BECOME MATURE, RESPONSIBLE AND TEMPERATE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT CONDUCT THE AFFAIRS OF THEIR LIFE ON AN EMOTIONAL BASIS ALONE BUT BY THE LEADING OF THE SPIRIT OF GOD, THE WORD OF GOD AND PRAYER. WHEN YOUR EMOTIONS ARE UNDER ATTACK THE ENEMY WILL TRY TO MODIFY YOUR CONDUCT AND BEHAVIOR TO CONFORM TO HIS PURPOSES AND THAT’S WHY WE MUST LEARN HOW TO OVERCOME THESE EMOTIONAL ATTACKS AND WALK IN VICTORY.