Chapter Seventeen


“Just do it!” Gianna mentally screamed at herself. She stood outside the livingroom, occupied by Nick and the ever-present Playstation, fully prepared to announce her newest relationship request. Unaware of why she felt so nervous, she moved to enter the room, but stopped when she caught sight of his concentrated expression. His brows were crinkled, his eyes darting back and forth on the television screen before him, his pink tongue rapidly running over his bottom lips. Gianna bit back a giggle at the determination plastered all over his face. Taking another deep, relaxing breath, she walked, determined into the living room.

“Hey beautiful.” Nick said glancing up as she fell onto the couch behind him.

“Hi.” She greeted him with a small wave of the hand, and rolled her eyes as Nick fell back into a hypnotic trance with his ‘shoot-em-up’ video game. Minutes passed slowly, the only sound was that of the punches, kicks, and bangs from the television. Finally the screen flashed red and Nick dropped his controller sadly.

“I lost.” he mumbled, throwing himself on the couch next to Gianna. “Comfort me.” he pleaded, sticking his lower lip out in a pout. When Gianna responded with an annoyed look he leaned towards her, resting his chin on her shoulder. “Something bothering you?”

“Kind of.” she began. Realizing it was now or never she wiggled his shoulder until his chin was lifted and turned towards him. “I want to talk to you about something.” she stated.

“Sure...” was his response. She opened her mouth to begin, but was cut off by a finger he placed over her lips. “One second, let me get comfortable.” he requested. She nodded silently and watched, amused, as he positioned himself lengthwise on the couch with this head resting in her lap. He looked up at her and winked before nodding his head. “Go ahead, you have my full attention.”

Gianna smiled, looking down at him. The times spent with him flashed through her mind rapidly finally ending with the picture of him seated in front of the television with the Playstation controller in hand, the same image she had just witnessed moments before. Blinking quickly, she was brought back to the livingroom with Nick looking up at her, a concerned look on his face. Her hand had found his and she held it tightly as she worked her way through the words she wanted to say, trying to find the simplest way to announce her change of heart, so to say. “Okay....”

“Okay?” Nick raised an eyebrow at her and gave a small smile. Gianna, ready to speak her mind stalled yet again, only this time for a good reason. She slowly lowered her lips to his in a soft kiss, one that relaxed her instantly, and gave her the courage to be straight-forward.

“I don’t want to have a such a physical relationship with you, at this moment.” she let out as slowly and as clearly as she could. She closed her eyes after the words left her lips and silently prayed that Nick would accept it. After hearing no response, she opened one eye, and then the other, her gaze falling immediately to Nick. He was staring at her, confusion, the only thing written on his face. “Say something, please.” she whispered.

“Is this because of something I did?” he asked quietly, not allowing his eyes to hold hers.

“No, not in the least.” Gianna defended. “You were perfect, Nick. You were amazing...”

“Then what is it?”

“It complicates things...things that are already complicated enough.” she chose her words carefully. “I just think that, you and I can have a really great relationship, minus sex. If you don’t agree with this then-”

“I didn’t say that.” Nick cut in, sitting up. “I didn’t say I disagreed with it. I just, I never thought of doing that. A relationship without sex...” lines appeared on his forehead and he tossed the idea around in his head. He had never been in a relationship that didn’t require physical attention. The whole experience would be new to him.

“Nick..I just, I wanted to be direct, and let you know how I felt. I just think that with the situation you’re in..it would be easier for you if you took things slowly. And it would be easier for me, because I wouldn’t have to..worry and stuff.” she said fisting her hand in her hair. “Nevermind, this didn’t turn out the way I had planned. I’m, um, sorry.” she said standing quickly, and leaving the room before Nick could make a clear response. He opened his mouth to call her back, but froze as he lost sight of her around the corners of the wall. Falling back against the couch, Nick let out a deep sigh. Would this never end? Would either of them ever be ready at the same time? Apparently, no. That had been proven many times within the last few weeks. He pulled a pillow from the end of the couch and held tightly, only for a moment before he threw it across the room.

Gianna sat stiffly at the kitchen table, staring at the glass of water in front of her. The one question floating around in her mind was: Why? Why was it so hard to talk to him? Why was it so difficult to tell him the honest truth? Why did he want someone like her...WHY? She dropped her head on the table in frustration. She had to think things through, completely, before she attempted another conversation with Nick, that she was sure of. It had already been almost four weeks since she had arrived at the beach house, and they only had two more remaining. If anything serious was going to happen between she and Nick, it would have to happen soon or their chance would pass.

AJ entered the house and the living to find Nick staring at the floor from his perch on the couch. He paused a few feet away from the blond and watched intently until finally interrupting.

“Nick?” he asked quietly. Nick looked up at him immediately and gave him a tight smile. “Everything okay?”

“I’m not sure.” Nick admitted. He ran both hands through his hair.

“Are you guys have trouble again?” AJ asked, emphasizing ‘again’. Nick’s relationship with Gianna had to be the most confusing AJ had ever witnessed. One minute they were peachy keen, the next one thing or another was bothering somebody and they were...lost, basically.

“I don’t know. She just came in...said something about not rushing, and blew out of here in a tiz. You wanna take a stab at it?” Nick questioned dropping his hands into his lap.

“You guys are moving fast?” the older man asked seriously, dropping to the couch cushion next to Nick.

“I didn’t think so...I was fine with the progression. I thought that was what she had wanted from the beginning. Commitment! I give it to her and now she doesn’t want it?” he threw out, pondering it momentarily before shaking his head. “No..she wants commitment. I’m just not sure what kind of commitment she wants.”

“Are you planning on continuing this outside of the house?” AJ ventured.

“I would really like to, and from what she’s said before, she wants to as well. But I have my doubts.” Nick admitted.

“I’m sure she has hers too. It’s going to be fucking hard!”

“Thanks J.” Nick stated sarcastically.

“Talk to her.” AJ shrugged. Nick looked up at him with questioning eyes. “Trust me, just talk to her, see what she meant by what she said..and get everything straightened out.” Nick nodded and thanked AJ.

He found Gianna sitting at the table, her forehead still pressed against the wooden table top. “We need to figure this out, G.” he said sitting down across from her. She lifted her head slowly, and locked eyes with him.

“I know. I’m sorry about leaving the room. I just...I don’t want to hurt you anymore! I am so fed up with...” she paused.

“With what?”

“The way this relationship progresses. Neither one of us can seem to stick to one decision long enough for something substantial to happen. It took us long enough to finally admit we had a connection, and it’s taking even longer for us to make a final commitment to one another. It’s driving me crazy, Nick. I can’t live like this.” she said firmly. Nick nodded his head. It was the truth. “We need to talk...get everything out in the open..everything that bothers us, scares us...things we doubt.” her eyes pleaded with him. He could tell she needed this to happen in order to continue the relationship...or whatever it was that they had developed.

“Deal.” he agreed, taking her hand in his. “Ladies first.”

“I’ve been in a few relationships...but only one has actually been physical. I dated him for five months before we finally took that step. Nick...I know we have something really special....I can feel it. Nothing is the same with you. You are so much different than every other guy I have had a chance with, which is probably the reason I’m here trying to convey what I’m feeling for you. I want this to last...last longer than just this summer.”

“So sex is a problem?” he asked hesitantly.

“I’m moving so fast, compared to all my past relationships. It just feels so rushed. Like, we both know there’s a chance things won’t pan out as we want them to, so we’re doing everything now so we won’t miss out.”

“Well, yeah.” Nick said. He didn’t understand what was wrong with showing someone how much he cared.

“Nick, I’m telling you how I feel!” she defended herself. This was supposed to be beneficial to their relationship...she wanted him to LISTEN.

“And I show you how I feel. I don’t see the difference.” He said squeezing her hand. “I thought that I was the one with seriousness issues.” he gave her a small smile.

“I just think that we’re having sex for all the wrong reasons.”

“What about the right reasons?? Like, I love you?” he asked. She looked at him with sad eyes.

“If you love me..you would be listening to what I’m saying rather than just the words.

“What are you saying? We’re paranoid we won’t stay together?” He watched her face take on the annoyed appearance. “What did I do?” he asked. She cracked a small smile. At least she wasn’t mad.

“Nick...all I’m asking is that we slow down. There is nothing wrong with us sleeping together...but I want it for the right reasons. Loving each other is the right reason....I don’t want us to move fast because we only have two more weeks together here.”

“Fair enough.” He said softly. He sensed the importance of this by the tone of her voice and the look in her eyes. He’d do anything to make her happy, and if slowing down, letting her take her time was what she needed, then so be it.

“These two weeks are going to go by like that.” she muttered, standing up to move to a seat next to Nick. She pulled him into a hug once she was situated next to him. He smiled as he held her.

“So we’ll make the best of them...and in two weeks, we’ll pack up, kiss each other goodbye, promise to stay in touch, and go home.” he whispered into her ear.

“I’m not looking forward to this.”


Chapter Eighteen
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