[Caution: This chapter contains strong language and explicit scenes. Do not proceed if you cannot stand such things.]

Xiao Yan Zi looked hard at the building in front of her, feeling very puzzled.

The dirty, rotten-looking wooden placard hanging above the main entrance tiredly declared "Hui Bing Luo". Bits of paint were peeling off the walls and beams. There was vomit and urine all over the place and the stench was overwhelming. Strange, she had been here only three days ago and Jin Suo, fastidious person she was, would never allow Hui Bing Lo to degenerate into such disgraceful condition.

"Are we there yet?" Belldandy asked.

"Yes. But…but I don’t understand how…" Xiao Yan Zi continued to stare at the seedy, run-down building before her.

Something else was different about the place but Xiao Yan Zi wasn’t sure what it was. Her mind told her this was Hui Bing Luo but her heart told her it wasn’t the Hui Bing Luo she knew. The reek of urine and vomit got too much and Xiao Yan Zi felt sick to her stomach. With a mighty effort, she managed to keep from vomiting.

"Come on in, Belldandy. They…they’ve probably got more guests than usual so they can’t keep up with the maintenance and repair." Try as she could, Xiao Yan Zi could not convince herself that was the reason.

As soon as she set foot in Hui Bing Luo, Xiao Yan Zi became more and more confused.

Instead of the usual cheer and friendliness, Xiao Yan Zi sensed despair, anger and sadness seeping from every nook and cranny. The place was jam packed with people which was usual for Hui Bing Lo but why were the guests behaving so…lewdly?

Instead of being seated at tables and happily savouring Shan Dong and Beijing delicacies, men and women were snuggling * very * closely against each other. Out of the corner of her eye, Xiao Yan Zi saw a couple fondle each other in very private places. She felt her cheeks and ears burning. Sure, sure she and Yong Qi did that but * not * in public. Although by nature straightforward and open, Xiao Yan Zi still felt shy about public displays of affection with Yong Qi. She would never live it down if Huang Ah Ma, Lao Fo Ye, Ling Fei Niang Niang or the Empress caught them kissing, much less holding hands. Besides, as an Ah Ge’s Fu Jin, she had some standards to maintain, especially in front of foreign dignitaries. Being in the palace for nearly three years had taught her to conform a little.

"The place seems quite full. Shall we go elsewhere?" Belldandy suggested.

Xiao Yan Zi shook the cobwebs from her mind. "No…no it’s alright. I know the owners. They said there would always be a place for me and my friends, no matter how full." Frantic, she scanned the place for familiar faces- Liu Qing, Liu Hong, Jin Suo, Ah Bao (Bao Ya Tao) and Ah Hu (Xiao Hu Zi). She couldn’t help but feel that the place somehow reminded her of a brothel. People groping each other in public, women who looked as if their clothes had been painted on, men looking quite smug and openly adjusting their trousers... What was going on here? Liu Qing won’t stoop so low and he wouldn’t even dare suggest such a thing with Jin Suo and Liu Hong around.

Then she thought she saw someone she knew. She blinked and looked again in shock and disbelief.

Zi Wei? Yes, it definitely was Zi Wei. But * what * was she doing on the laps of a complete stranger?

Xiao Yan Zi tried to convince herself that Zi Wei had somehow fallen into the grasps of pimps and was now being force to wait on customers. But the way Zi Wei was acting said otherwise. She seemed to be enjoying herself. However, as Zi Wei hooked one leg around the customer’s hip and giggled seductively, Xiao Yan Zi decided she had to act now.

"Hey you! Keep your hands off my friend!" Xiao Yan Zi pulled Zi Wei away and landed an uppercut to the man’s jaw. He slid to the floor soundlessly.

"You little bitch! That was my best customer!" Zi Wei gave her a hard poke in the ribs.

"Zi Wei, if you are angry with Er Kang, just tell me, you shouldn’t degrading yourself…" Xiao Yan Zi was totally bewildered by her sworn sister’s erratic behaviour.

"Don’t know nobody called Er Kang and don’t lecture me on morals! Miss High-and-Mighty!"

"Zi Wei, don’t you know me?"

Zi Wei snarled, "Yeah, I know you. In hell!"

Xiao Yan Zi jumped at the venom in Zi Wei’s voice. Her eyes told her this angry woman before her was Zi Wei but her heart told her it was not the Zi Wei she loved, not the Zi Wei she had exchanged sisterly vows before the Judge of Hades and Jade Emperor. Zi Wei was scantily clad with her bright red Du Dou was exposed for all to see. It was bound so tightly to her generous bosom and so low down that if she breathed, something would pop out. Gone were the kindness and intelligence in her eyes. In their place radiated a chilling hardness, cynicism and indifference.

"Hey Zi Wei! What’s going on here?!" A burly scarred man hobbled towards them.

"This little whore knocked out my best customer!" Zi Wei pointed angrily at Xiao Yan Zi.

"Liu…Liu Qing?" Xiao Yan Zi stared at her best buddy and his crooked leg in disbelief. "What happened to your leg?"

"Do I know ya?" Liu Qing looked at her suspiciously. Instead of the usual jauntiness, he looked mean.

"It’s me! Xiao Yan Zi. Don’t you remember?"

"Don’t know nobody called Xiao Yan Zi."

"Don’t you remember?!! We used to perform together in the streets. You, me and Liu Hong!"

"Ya knew my sis?"

"Knew your sis? I know you, too Liu Hong. I attended you and Jin Suo’s marriage. You even asked me and Yong Qi, Zi Wei and Er Kang to be godparents to your son…"

"Jin Suo?" Zi Wei softened a little. "You knew Jin Suo?"

"Of course I do! She’s married to this clown here!" Xiao Yan indicated Liu Qing who looked at her warily.

"Jin Suo is dead." Zi Wei said, suddenly looking mournful.

"What? It can’t be! I only saw her three days ago! Then what about the baby? Is he…"

"What are you talking about? Jin Suo’s been dead over two years. To my knowledge, she never got hitched. Not even to this ‘bozo’ here."

"Liu Qing, what’s going on here? How can you and Liu Hong do this to Hui Bing Luo?"

He glared at her. "Lady, I don’t own this place. I just do what the boss tells me to do. Sorry to burst your bubble, love but my sis’s been dead five years."

The revelation send Xiao Yan Zi reeling. What was going on? Why didn’t Zi Wei and Liu Qing recognize her? Why did they keep saying that Liu Hong and Jin Suo were dead? Why was Zi Wei dressed up like a hooker? Where was Er Kang? What had happened to Liu Qing’s leg? Thousands and thousands of questions ran through her mind and she didn’t know where to start. The sheer enormity of the situation overwhelmed her. She staggered and nearly tripped over the man she had knocked out earlier.

She looked down at the unconscious man and gasped. It was Minister Liang. She blubbered, "But…but…I thought Huang Ah Ma had him beheaded two years ago!"

Zi Wei looked at her sharply." Huang…Huang Ah Ma? You…you know the Emperor?"

"Of course I do! He’s my father! And yours too!" Xiao Yan Zi cried.

"That does it!" Liu Qing approached her menacingly. " Lady, ya leave now. On yer bloody two feet or by my hands! Zi Wei, ya get back to work!" He shoved Zi Wei towards a group of soldiers who immediately descended on her like a pack of hungry wolves.

"Zi Wei! Zi Wei! " She turned on Liu Qing furiously. "You #$@%^&*! Why did you do that for? I’ll tell Huang Ah Ma…"

Liu Qing sneered. "Lady, you’ve come to the wrong place. The palace is over there!" He grabbed her roughly and dragged her out of Hui Bing Lo. Giving her a violent push, he shouted "And stay outta here!"

Xiao Yan Zi landed in a pool of urine. But she was much too shocked and dazed to care. She could only stare after Liu Qing hobbling back into Hui Bing Lo. As long as she had known him, he had never treated her like that. Even in his worst moments of rage, he would never, never ever lay a finger on a lady.

"Xiao Yan Zi." A gentle voice suddenly spoke.

"Belldandy…? " She had completely forgotten about her companion. "What’s happening? Has everybody gone crazy?"

"Nobody has gone crazy. Everything is the way it is because you were never born."

"What do you mean, the way it is?"

""Because you never existed, you were not there to save Liu Qing and Liu Hong from the soldiers. They beat them within an inch of their lives. Liu Qing survived. Liu Hong did not."

"What do you mean? I distinctly remember I was there, five years ago! I pitched a fishing net over the soldiers! We beat the living daylights out of them! We took their money and clothes, bought lots of presents for everyone at Da Za Yuan…"

Belldandy said sadly, "Everyone in Da Za Yuan died, one after another because there was no one to look after them. That was a particularly harsh winter five years ago."

"You’re joking!" Xiao Yan Zi leaped up.

"Try as she could, Zi Wei could never meet the Emperor because you were not there to help her. Finally she and Jin Suo had to turn to prostitution to survive…"

"That’s a lie! Zhi Wei is Huang Ah Ma’s Ming Zhu Ge Ge! Jin Suo and Liu Qing have a son!"

"Jin Suo was beaten to death by one of her customers. Zi Wei is too ashamed to meet her father because of what she has become now. Do you understand now, Xiao Yan Zi? You’ve been given a wonderful, rare gift. A chance to see what the world will be like without you."

Xiao Yan Zi pinched herself. "I’m still here, flesh and all. If I were never existed in the first place, then why am I still here?"

"You’re nobody. You have no identity."

"What do you mean no identity? I’m Xiao Yan Zi! Huan Zhu Jin Zhu! Wu Fu Jin!"

"They’re not there."

"What?"

"Your jade bangle and gold locket."

"What the?" She searched feverishly but could not find the jade bangle Yong Qi had given to her a year ago, nor could she find the swallow-shaped gold locket, a gift from Huang Ah Ma. She was getting more and more befuddled. Did she lose them in the river or in Hui Bing Luo?

As she searched frantically, Belldandy continued," Don’t you see? You had a wonderful life and you’ve accomplished much for yourself and also for others. Won’t it be a tragic mistake just to throw it away because of a vase?"

"Who are you? A witch?" Xiao Yan Zi looked at her accusingly. "You put a spell on me! That’s why I’m seeing all these strange things!"

"I’m a First Class Goddess. Second Catergory, Unlimited." Belldandy replied as if she were explaining to a child.

"Shut up! Just shut up! Stay away! You…you’re driving me crazy! I’m going home to Yong Qi and Huang Ah Ma!" Xiao Yan Zi ran, not caring where she was headed.

Belldandy stared after her sadly and looked up at the sky. "God-sama, I’m not sure if I’m doing enough to convince her."