It took a while but Xiao Yan Zi managed to get into the palace grounds, unseen of course. Tonight’s "outing" had been without Huang Ah Ma’s permission so she did not have any Imperial seal to show the guards. She felt rather guilty and ashamed at her latest misdemeanor-an Ah Ge’s Fu Jin, still behaving like a teenager! How people would talk! The more reason not to be seen by anybody lest she had to face Huang Ah Ma and Yong Qi again.

As she silently made her way to Yu Song Gong, Xiao Yan Zi felt something terribly wrong with the palace. True, the palace did sometimes feel like a gilded cage but with Yong Qi, Jing Er, Huang Ah Ma and Ling Fei Niang Niang around, things were not so bad. However, the atmosphere now was so oppressive that she thought she would suffocate.

In spite of being dressed warmly, Xiao Yan Zi felt a strange chill creep into her bones. Although not superstitious by nature, the thought of restless ghosts and vengeful souls crossed Xiao Yan Zi’s mind. She shuddered involuntarily. Seeing the familiar silhouette of Yu Song Gong, she quickened her steps. She wanted to find Yong Qi, wanted to apologise to him, wanted to…

She bumped into someone. Oh no! I’m done for. She jumped back and saw that it was only a eunuch. She decided to use/abuse her Ge Ge status to browbeat him into silence. "How dare you…". The rest of her prepared speech stuck in her throat when the moonlight shone on the eunuch’s face.

"Master…Master Meng? " Xiao Yan Zi looked at the eunuch with a mixture of shock, horror and disbelief. Was this really Master Meng? This wretched, pathetic-looking, hunched-back creature cowering before her?

Meng Dan looked at her and then began kowtowing to her, whimpering, "Forgive this wretched slave! This slave deserves to die for sullying you!"

Xiao Yan Zi knelt down beside him. "Master Meng, it’s me Xiao Yan Zi. Don’t you remember me?" But all she got was a blank stare in return. "Master Meng, you’re supposed to be in Dali, with Han Xiang."

"Han Xiang, Han Xiang…" Meng Dan muttered. Suddenly he began to laugh hysterically. The high-pitched laughter chilled Xiao Yan Zi to her depths of her soul. It was the laugh of a man gone mad, a man who was nothing but an empty, living corpse.

"Han Xiang! Han Xiang! Where are you?" Tears were now running down Meng Dan’s scarred face. Abruptly, he got up and began limping away from Xiao Yan Zi. His plaintive cries of "Han Xiang" became fainter and fainter.

After what seemed an eternity, Xiao Yan Zi slowly got up. As soon as she stood up, she nearly fell. Both her legs felt like wooden stumps. How long had she been sitting there in the freezing snow? She began rubbing her legs to get the circulation back into them.

She had to go to find Huang Ah Ma. She wanted an explanation about Meng Dan and Han Xiang from Huang Ah Ma. Xiao Yan Zi forced herself up and began running towards the direction of Yang Xing Dian.

*********

"Huang Ah Ma Ji Xiang, Huan Zhu Ge Ge…." She stopped short at the sight of Yong Qi sitting at Huang Ah Ma’s customary work place. "Yong…Yong Qi? What are you doing here?"

"Who are you?" A visibly shocked and angry Yong Qi demanded.

"Yong Qi, it’s me! Xiao Yan Zi!." She ran towards him. "Don’t you know me? What’s happened to me, to us?"

"You insolent woman!" Yong Qi shoved her away violently.

"Yong Qi, please! Don’t do this to me! I need you now. Please…" Xiao Yan Zi was nearly close to tears.

"Vile piece of scum! How dare you address His Majesty by his name! How dare you lay a finger on His Majesty!"

"Yong Qi, I…" Xiao Yan Zi’s heart froze when he gave her a cold, wary stare. This was not the Yong Qi she loved, fought with and sometimes bullied. Whatever that was between her and Yong Qi-love, hate-she realized she meant nothing to this vicious creature, now looking out of her husband’s eyes.

"Guards! Guards!"

Imperial guards began pouring into the room. They immediately surrounded her and pulled her roughly to her feet. Xiao Yan Zi was simply too stunned even to fight back. She did not resist when they clapped her in chains.

"Take her away." He looked her up and down in a way that made her feel unclean. "Not a bad looking wench. I’ll deal with her, * personally *."

"Boys, that is no way to treat a lady."

They whipped around to see a slender dark-skinned woman, dressed in a body-fitting gown. She was lounging against the wall, examining her nails and them with her green eyes. Then she ran a hand lazily through her snow white hair. That movement made her bosom to heave a little, causing the breathing rate of the men to increase.

"Who are you?" Yong Qi demanded.

"Urd. Second Class Goddess. At your services." She gave them a mocking bow that exposed a little bit more of her generous bosom and well-toned thigh. The temperature in the room visibly went up.

"Don’t just stand there drooling, you worthless dolts! Go get her!" Yong Qi snarled, torn between lust and anger.

"Boys, boys. Sit. Stay." Urd held up her hand. "That’s right. Good boys."

All, save for Xiao Yan Zi, froze on the spot. Xiao Yan Zi looked around her in bewilderment. The chains on her had disappeared. She was free to move again. But what had happened to Yong Qi? Why was he standing with his mouth half open and pointing in the stranger’s direction? Why were the guards not moving? Xiao Yan Zi felt a headache coming on.

"Don’t just stand there with your mouth open, kid." Urd looked exasperated. "Aren’t you going to get out of here?"

Without even thanking her, Xiao Yan Zi raced out of the room.

"Well, dear sis, the rest is up to you now." Urd said. "Now back to my karaoke session." She disappeared in a puff of smoke.

**********

Xiao Yan Zi just ran. She didn’t know and didn’t care where she was headed. All she wanted to do was to get away from this hateful, terrifying place as fast as she could. Finally, she could run no more and looked around for a place to rest safely.

Not too far off was a building. It looked dark and forbidding but that was what she was looking for. There would be nobody to disturb her. Peace and quiet was what she needed right now to gather and sort out her thoughts.

Once inside safely, she sank down to the floor gratefully. Her heart was hammering away so painfully that she thought her chest would burst. Her whole body was sore and aching all over. She involuntarily shuddered as she remembered Yong Qi’s cruel eyes. Her thoughts were in a mess and she just did not know where to start.

Trying to take her mind off her current circumstances, she lit a candle and scanned her surroundings. She found herself in a large spacious room. A single row of portraits, hung on mahogany stilts were arranged neatly against the wall. Curious, Xiao Yan Zi examined one of the portraits showing a portly but regal-looking man decked out in a gold nine-dragon robe. Xiao Yan Zi marveled at the elaborate details the artist had paid attention to-each dragon scale was clearly out lined, and the motifs on the nine-dragon robe and the rug were symmetrical and balanced.

Thanks to Yong Ji, her Manchu and Han vocabulary had increased. She made out the words ‘Ai Sin Jue Luo Yin Zhen’. This was a potrait of Huang Ah Ma’s father, Yong Qi’s grandfather. By now, she had guessed correctly she was in the Tiao Miao (Temple of Ancestors). Yong Qi had told her this was where they placed the portraits of the Qing Emperors and Empresses of the past.

Xiao Yan Zi hastily knelt down before the portrait. "Huang Ye Ye, all Great ancestors here. Please hear my prayers. Please help me." Then her attention was drawn to a portrait next to Huang Ye Ye. As she approached the portrait to have a closer look, her gut feeling told her that she wasn’t going to like what she saw.

The words ‘Ai Sin Jue Luo Hong Li’ jumped out at her. Xiao Yan Zi stared at the words, a horrible feeling starting to surface within her. Ai Sin Jue Luo Hong Li? Then Huang Ah Ma was…

"No! No! No! It can’t be…"

"Xiao Yan Zi." Belldandy appeared next to her. Xiao Yan Zi was too upset to be surprised by her magical appearance.

"Belldandy, what’s happening? Please tell me! I only saw Huang Ah Ma this morning!"

"It’s because you were not born. You were not there to help Zi Wei meet her father, so she wasn’t there to save him from the assassins."

"No…no …" Xiao Yan Zi sank to her knees.

Belldandy didn’t really like this part of the job but she had to do it anyway. "As your Huang Ah Ma had not left a will indicating who was to be the next Emperor, there was much chaos and vicious political infighting in the palace. Within two years, only two Ah Ges remained * alive *, as strong contenders to Dragon Throne-the Fifth Prince and the Twelfth Prince. In the end, Fifth Prince won and became the Rong Jing Emperor. But at the cost of his soul."

"What do you mean, his soul?"

"The Empress had tried to assassinate Fifth Prince in order to ensure the success of Twelfth Prince. However, the assassination attempt failed and Fifth prince survived. To protect himself, Fifth Prince had to strike back, quickly and * ruthlessly *. He had the Empress imprisoned, and later beaten to death. Twelfth Prince was removed from the Aisin Gioro lineage records and later poisoned before his eleventh birthday. On the Rong Jing Emperor’s order."

Xiao Yan Zi felt a chill going up her spine at Belldandy’s narrative. Yong Qi? Gentle, hot-tempered Yong Qi? Yong Ji’s blood on his hands? Personally, Xiao Yan Zi still didn’t trust the Empress and only tolerated her. However, she was fond of Yong Ji and did not hold his mother against him.

Innocent, sensitive Yong Ji whose only fault was to be the son of the Empress. Lonely Yong Ji who was often excluded by his brothers from games and study groups. Ever since the events of two years ago, Huang Ah Ma barely tolerated his presence, much less that of his mother’s. Sometimes Xiao Yan Zi felt that she and Zi Wei were Yong Ji’s only family apart from the Empress. Yong Ji turned out to be her best (and most patient) teacher. He patiently and repeatedly explained to her words, idioms and poetry, long after the ever-so- patient Zi Wei had given up.

"No…Yong Qi,…Yong Ji…" she moaned, curling herself into a ball.

Belldandy plowed on mercilessly. "As a result of the intense infighting and backstabbing, Fifth Prince became easily suspicious, vicious and brutal. Even his two closest friends and staunchest supporters during the throne wars, Fu Er Kang and Er Tai were imprisoned and later executed for suspected treason. Master Ji was not spared even he had not been involved in the faction wars. The worst part about killing is that it becomes easier and easier. Particularly when you need not witness or carry it out personally. Just have some lackey do the dirty job for you."

Xiao Yan Zi curled herself tighter and tighter. Er Kang and Er Tai, dead by Yong Qi’s hands. And Master Ji too. Even if she thought him a pain in the neck and her major cause of nightmares, Xiao Yan Zi was actually quite fond of the old man. Then suddenly she remembered Xiao Jian.

"My brother! Xiao Jian!" She looked up desperately at the goddess. "What’s happened to him?"

"Do you really want to know?"

In spite of herself, Xiao Yan Zi nodded.

"Come with me."

Xiao Yan Zi got up shakily and followed Belldandy out of Tiao Miao. She led Xiao Yan Zi out of the palace. Miraculously, no one stopped them on their way out of the palace but Xiao Yan Zi knew better.

Belldandy stopped and pointed into the darkness.

"There he is."

"What? Where?" Xiao Yan Zi looked around impatiently.

"There."

"Xiao…Xiao Jian?" She stared at the skeleton swinging from the gallows. "NOOOOOOOO!" An anguished, tortured cry broke from her lips.

"He and Meng Dan were part of a failed assassination attempt. The Rong Jing emperor was…ingenious in ways of torture and prolonging suffering. Xiao Jian and Meng Dan were made to watch their lovers raped to death. Xiao Jian was sealed into the gibbet, still alive. Meng Dan…became what you saw tonight."

Xiao Yan Zi only moaned softly. The wind had picked up speed and was now howling around her. She did not know if she was shivering because of the cold or of something else. Then she looked up and saw no sign of Belldandy. She looked around frantically for Belldandy.

"Belldandy! Belldandy! Get me home again! I don’t care what happens to me!" Xiao Yan Zi cried. "Please take me back to Yong Qi and Huang Ah Ma!! Please, Belldandy, give me another chance!"

Only the howling wind answered her. Utter despair filled her soul and Xiao Yan Zi sunk to her knees, sobbing. "Xiao Jian…Zi Wei…Yong Ji… Er Kang…Er Tai… I’m so sorry…"

The howling wind had now become a gentle breeze. Soft snow began to fall, landing gently on the sad, lonely figure, leaning against the bridge railing.

"Xiao Yan Zi! Ya’ alright?"

The familiar voice with the Shan Dong lilt jolted her out of her reverie. She looked up and screamed wildly. "No! No! Get away from me!"

.